Locally owned and independent
December 14, 2023
The Northern Rivers Times
WINE Max Crus is a Clarence Valley-based wine writer and Grape Expectations is now in its 26th year of publication. Find out more about Max or sign up for his weekly reviews and musings by visiting maxcrus.com.au
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Grape Expectations by Max Crus
Parental guidance compulsory.
Max Crus ueueing at a shop can be very trying unless there’s enough staff to make you think “I wish these guys were running my life”. However this has only happened twice. Most of the time it’s like the other day, every day, except there was an extra contributing annoyance on this occasion, a young mum asking her 3-year-old offspring what it wanted…
Q
in a bakery! I’m next in line and luckily the last because this was clearly going to take some time, indeed enough to ponder the true meaning of existence and why Donald Trump became president, and along with other rightwing-nut-jobs managed to change the world’s social structure and meaning of truth so radically I wonder if I’ll make it out of the
shop before it all ends. Okay, I know the common phrase “what would you know, you don’t have kids?” To which a friend once correctly replied, “while that is true, I do have a brain”, most apt in this instance, as always, given that asking a 3-year-old child in a cake shop was as fraught as asking Donald Trump if he’d like the keys to the missile silo.
What happened to parents know best? Actually, in hindsight they weren’t always perfect and we ate a lot of stuff that didn’t taste anywhere near as yummy as a pink donut with sprinkles, but eventually came to accept that someone with 20 more years life experience was better qualified to know what was good for me than I, a notion of which we
were constantly reminded. Sadly, it’s not just in bakeries we see this abdication of control to children too young to know what to do with it. Who hasn’t been somewhere when parents ask, “what would you like for dinner?” Would you like to have a bath? Would you like to go to bed? WTF? You might as well ask would they like more
chocolate sauce with their cake and ice cream while they watch Bluey on their iPad until 1am. Since when did a twoyear-old have those sort of life skills let alone know the comparative nutritional value of broccoli and baclava. Why do they think children aren’t allowed to buy or consume alcohol until they are 18?
Riversands Wines St George (Qld) ‘Sunset’ Vermentino 2023, $32. Riversands make a beverage called ‘Fu*#ing Good Port’ too, spelled out fully, perfect for the new breed of parenting. Their perfectly palatable vermentino however is much more family friendly, and kids are unlikely to want it because it is faintly green. 8.8/10.
Riversands Wines St George (Qld) ‘The Bold Shepherd’ Saperavi Ruby Cabernet, 2022, $35. You would think something made at the westernmost winery of Queensland would have a bucket of alcohol, but it’s only 12.8 per cent and you would think something with 12.8 would not feel full bodied and quite luscious, fragrant and
lovely, but this version of the great Russian grape is exactly that. 9.2/10. Coriole McLaren Vale Nero (Nero d’Avola, The New Australian Connection), 2023, $30. Earlier versions were ‘dry as a wooden god’ as Mum would say, which was good parental advice. 2023 is too young to make decisions for itself but this year’s model is much
rounder and the nuevo nero flavours are a delight. 9.4/10. Coriole McLaren Vale Chenin Blanc 2023, $22. This has real ‘blanc’ character but without quite the tang and pungency of sauvignon. A crossover for those tired of gris/grigio but not ready to return to the SB fold. Good value and perfect those tired of parenting. 9.2/10.
Running with Bulls Barossa Garnacha (Grenache) 2021, $25. If ever parental guidance was recommended surely it would be running with bulls, but what a nice way to say grenache, ‘garnacha’. Almost like a chocolate cake, have it with a Spanish Motogp, remembering your holiday in a Pamplona hospital all those years ag. 9.5/10.
Running With Bulls Barossa Small Batch Albarinó 2022, $25. Serendipitously we had some white peach handy when I read the back label, which also spruiks jasmine and lemon sorbet, which we didn’t. I’ll give them the peach, maybe lemon, but sorbet and jasmine? Clearly, some noses are better than others. 9.3/10.
