Haystacks no hurdle to nuclear needles.

Recently a little pill of nuclear extraction was lost somewhere in the wastelands of WA, which everyone laughed at because, frstly, it was pretty funny, but also because they knew they were never, ever going to visit that never neverland and thus would never, ever be irradiated by it, blissfully ignorant that they would receive as much radiation via their mobile phones over the

Château Tanunda Dry Rosé (Counoise-Pinot Noir) 2021, $25. Not sure if this is truly CounoisePinot Noir - try fnding that in a bottle shop – or indeed Barossan, the label has changed from last year’s and doesn’t say. Whatever, it is nicely balanced, subtle but sharp enough rosé. 9.1/10

Château Tanunda Grand next year anyway.

But yes, very Homer Simpson, and who hasn’t left their coffee, milkshake, briefcase or that very same mobile, on the roof of their car, then driven off wondering what that funny ‘thunk’ was before it dawned that whatever it was this time had been smashed, crushed, squashed and stolen by passing traffc and thieves.

Barossa Grenache

Shiraz Mourvèdre 2021, $25. This is proper Barossan : GSM, 14.9 percent, a circumfex, a grave, it’s got the lot and it’s hot, so get it while you can. Actually it’s hot because it’s 14.9 per cent, but nothing a big chunk of red meat couldn’t deal with. 9.3/10.

Crittenden Mornington

And they’re just the things I’VE left on the roof of a car!

You can imagine a busy Nuclear Courier would have many other things on their mind, not least if they should ask the boss for a lead-lined cabin in the truck, and then there’s all that paper work - by which time it was probably smoko and the coffee van had just pulled onto the site…note to self,

Peninsula ‘Cri De Coeur’ Savagnin Sous Voile, $90. Now here’s a needle looking for a haystack. Sous Voile (using for yeast during ageing) has been all the rage among trendy winemakers for yonks. The results are strikingly different, so turn off your e expectations and be rewarded. It’s like trying

“hey try not to leave it on the roof this time” - so tying down your load is not only the last thing on your mind, it’s the most puzzling.

How do you tie down a button-sized piece of radioactive thorium even if you do remember?

You could Google it, and, as always, the frst thing to come up would be that you can buy thorium on Ebay. Very helpful for fermented Mongolian lamb’s balls for the frst time, which would be a nice accompaniment, actually. 9.4/10.

Crittenden Mornington Peninsula Kangerong

Chardonnay 2020, $45. We’ve been drinking a lot of chardonnay lately and reminded of the incredible variations but this encapsulates the the bloke who lost it. modern approach, bright, with deep and colourful character, yet none of it over the top. The sort of person you’d like to marry. 9.5/10.

Anyway, of course the story had a happy ending, if not for Mr Zippy Your Local Courier’s Nuclear Division, but actually fnding the thing, just lying beside the road next to ejected Macca’s or KFC wasn’t the most amazing part of the story, it was the number of media reports claiming it would be like fnding a needle in a haystack.

Calabria Family Wines

Barossa Valley Alternato

Montepulciano Nero D’Avola 2021, $45. I am swayed by oddities, but don’t tell Ms L. and a monte’ with a dash of nero

Max Crus

Every single story.n Mate, fnding a needle anywhere, specially when you really need one, is hard enough, putting it in a haystack doesn’t change the situation appreciably, but clearly irradiating it with plutonium helps somewhat. Otherwise it would be just as hard fnding one in your wheelie bin for instance, or a bottle shop, as it is for a few wines… is irresistible. This version is light enough to go with most microwaved meals. 9.1/10.

Calabria Family Wines

Barossa Valley Alternato Malbec 2021, $45. Many in the wine fraternity shy from malbec because of its sweetness which is precisely why I love it. Best enjoyed while sewing a fne seam. 9.4/10.