A Feel Good Day in Lismore

Valley of Cra smen

‘Leemo Cat’ back. ‘Mum, I’m SO over this tedious rain that, to me, seems like forever. As a busy feline used to being physically active, it’s irksome to not be able to do my grass frisks, tree climbs, y chases, outside air leaps & other stu . I’m SO bored Mum. ‘Mum Jane’ simply gave me her menacing old-lady glare & told me to go read a book and to stop annoying her ‘cos she’s busy doing creative painting of stu (anything in her reach I noted) to keep herself busy. Hmmm, ponder? I spoke out. ‘Mum, well, let’s chat & talk about ANYTHING you choose, anything! I’ll bring you a cup of tea, OK?’ She looked at me & said ‘bring 3 Stem Ginger Cookies with my tea & OK Leems, we’ve got a deal. I DO WISH to discuss something with you actually so bring my tea & bikkies NOW & I’ll address the issue; do not interrupt me. Gottit?’ Oooh, truly, anything would ease the tedious nature of my life right now, even Mum wa ing on & I said OK! (One day I’ll learn NOT to agree with Mum on ANYthing!)

‘OK Leems, explain your Operatic yowling (think Puccini’s La Boehme) & screaming 5 nights ago at approx. 7.20pm in the evening; you interrupted my ABC viewing. It sounded like you may perhaps have had your ‘self described’ glorious tail infested with Fire Ants or even ON re. (neither applied) THEN you followed your appalling noises by running all over our house at a huge rate of knots, (sounding like a galloping rhino on the wood oors) down the hall, into rooms, a leap into our bath, out again, down to YOUR bedroom below, back up the stairs, all the time still yowling & running toward your ‘peering out’ spot every 10 seconds to peer out of the window with your tail swishing apparently looking for the ‘threat’ outside; then did the running & yowling all over again. Now, please try to remember what happened then ‘Leems;’ I turned our front light on & saw the lovely grey & white cat staring up at you on YOUR SAFE INSIDE ‘viewing’ ledge. e cat was NOT growling or hissing; just looking up at you enquiringly as if to say ‘wanna play Leemo!’ So, Leems, stop the hysterics! Why didn’t you just say ‘Mum won’t let me out at night? SO, instead Leems, “I” politely said ‘good evening’ nice kitty and suggested it go home & threw a grape at it. It obeyed, ran up our front slope and daintily frisked back down the road to where I think it lives. End of Story. Don’t hiss & splutter at me ‘Leems’ I’m NOT nished. You also ‘self described’ yourself when this chat started as a ‘physically active feline.’ Well, what rot! ‘Leems’ you tell unbelieveable bs. You are no more physically active of late than a bear hibernating. Your Winter coat sprouting is not physical activity. Gottit? e only physicality you show is to wander toward your food bowl and peer at it looking cross ‘cos the bowl is empty; become SEMI active via yowling until you have my attention; treats appear; you nish them o & go to sleep once more. Hmmm…in truth, the most activity I’ve seen from you in weeks Leems is when you spied the kitty outside. Maybe I’ll pay her $ to come back every night and stare at you & get you active? Whaddya reckon? Oh, by the way, TO-DAY is ‘Mother’s Day’ Leems… WELL??’ YIKES! I kinda forgot. Best I do many purrsies, suck-up stu like paw pats on her pruney cheeks & more feet & more leg purry rubs whilst staring adoringly at her. Hmmm. Maybe not? Nitey, Leemo. OMG!