Crus Knobs get nod over button-pushing push-buttons.

My car is the fastest I’ve ever had.

When you put your foot down it leaps forward in that thrilling manner you imagine is exactly what Formula 1 drivers and astronauts sign up for.

Alas the similarities end there, and the car gets quite wobbly as the speed rises, as if each wheel has a different destination in the sat nav, perhaps not dissimilar to the feeling those on the space shuttle experienced just before it d’Arenberg McLaren d’Arenberg McLaren

Vale d’Arry’s Original Grenache Shiraz 2021, $22. This is as dependable as a Toyota Hilux and just as good a workhorse, happy to carry hi-viz types and executives with equal aplomb. 9.1/10.

Vale The Custodian blew up.

Regrettably, while it is the fastest car I’ve owned, it is also the slowest, and easily the most annoying.

This is apparent the moment you push the starter button, itself an amusing aspect of modern motoring given that in the early days before car keys were invented, they also used push buttons. Back then the motor instantly roared into life, however pushing a button today initiates a mind-boggling array d’Arenberg McLaren

Grenache 2021, $22. This is more like it, altogether more rounded and grounded than d’Arry’s and a sweetness tempered by tannin that draws you in. If I must. 9.2/10.

Vale The Dead Arm Shiraz 2015, $110. The perfect wine with which of silly graphics on a screen, fve or ten seconds after which all the usual information that formerly was immediately visible is there for consideration and you may now commence your journey. Sometimes. Which really pushes my buttons.

Yes, sometimes when you put it onto drive, it goes, other times not and I spend ten seconds trying to ascertain why. Sometimes I fnd out, perhaps a door is ajar, sometimes I don’t and simply press every button to show off at book club, which most believe is more about wine and companionship than books, and this edition made everything so much more companionable. d’Arenberg McLaren

9.7/10.

Vale The Dead Arm Shiraz 2019, $78. It’s until some other warning grabs my attention.

Once under way and once the myriad warnings have disappeared, changing any facet of the forty million things a modern car can do, such as turning the volume down, also takes ten seconds, which is particularly annoying because actually the one thing this car does quickly is turn the radio �On�, instantly and fat-out.

Turning it down is a different matter altogether, so your ears hurt almost fantastic to see different vintages side by side notwithstanding it�s a bit indulgent blowing 200 bucks if you’re not going to drink them all. Make sure you have suffcient friends available. d’Arenberg McLaren as long as your public humiliation. Another pushbutton mechanism. What was wrong with a dial?

Perennially posh if perennially tannic. 9.4/10.

Too bad if the fan was on full-bore last time you drove. It will be again on start-up but you must enter the �Fan� screen before you can adjust it, and yep, it’s push-button. What was wrong with a dial?

Anything and everything in the car is controlled by its own screen which takes fve seconds to enter and a further fve seconds to adjust. Oh, how I miss d’Arenberg McLaren

Vale The Ironstone Pressings Grenache Shiraz Mourvedre 2019, $78. Always a favourite, even over the more famous ‘Dead’ one, although not the 2015. Typically loud and brash and pushes all the right buttons. 9.5/10.

Vale The Mind Palace dials.

And don’t get me started on the push-button boot. It takes an eternity to open and close and don’t be fooled by its safety features, they only kick in after it hits your head. Hard to believe something so slow can hurt so much. So, how long before modern car manufacturers wake up and go back? Yes, give me a knob that turns any day. A screw cap for instance.

Sangiovese 2022, $32. My mind is a palace and my body a temple. Okay, not exactly Versailles and Angkor Wat, but if I don’t look in the mirror... Otherwise it’s Burger Palace and ugly Buck’s, even with an empty bottle of Sanger’. 9.1/10.