Metamorphosis by Nghiem

Metamorphosis

Lemuel Lan | Nghiem Nguyen | Tran Pham

Welcome/Preface Dear Reader, From the creators of this zine, we invite you to make yourself comfortable and at ease as you read this zine. We created this zine, titled Metamorphosis, to reflect and explore the different issues surrounding body image, positivity, and self-love in the context of the Asian American diaspora. The linear progression of a caterpillarâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s transformation into a butterfly indicates the healing process and the flow of the zine, as we build upon the issues surrounding Asian bodies. The issues themselves are not linear, but the process to grow and undergo healing requires you as the reader to reflect upon your own understanding of body image, positivity, and self-love within the Asian American diaspora. In this zine itself, we cover topics of media representation, fetishization, emasculation of men, colorism, queer/trans/non-binary experiences, and sex work in Asia. We also wanted to note that for the purposes of this zine, while we engage in these topics, these are not fully expansive of all the issues and topics surrounding Asian American bodies, nor do we fully cover each topic in this zine. As for the creators of the zine, we are undergraduate students at Pomona College, a liberal arts college in Southern California. We identify as Asian-American students, coming from Vietnamese and Taiwanese backgrounds. We also wanted to write as a disclaimer that we do not claim expertise in any of these subjects. The work we present here is a collection of our own experiences, thoughts, and scholarly work we have read in order to present some of the prevalent issues that exist regarding body image and selfappearance in the Asian American community. We also note that this zine does not include the experiences of indigenous Pacific Islander voices, as none of us identify as PI and do not wish to claim understanding of a different community with its own unique set of voices. That being said, we do want to acknowledge the consistent and constant erasure of these voices and would highlight that while we ourselves do not cover these voices in our zine, these voices are also extremely important and necessary to listen to in conversations about body image issues specifically. Ultimately, we hope that people can use this zine as a way to personally reflect upon their own life experiences and their relationship with how they perceive beauty and body images. Each section in the zine has some interactive component for you, the reader, to engage in, whether itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s reflection or creating art for yourself. Every two sections also has a reflective T-shirt logo that was designed by each of the creators. These designs are a way for you, the reader, to print out as you wish, or to encourage you to create your own Tshirt design that you can wear and empower yourself! We hope that this zine provides a space of reflection as you walk with us through this journey of self-discovery. We aim to unpack several of the body issues that exist in the Asian American diaspora, before we begin the process of healing and recovering. Thank you for engaging and participating us as we heal together through this zine. With much love and restorative healing,

Nghiem Nguyen

Tran Pham Lemuel Lan

CHA PTER

ASIAN AMER ICAN REPRE SENTA TION IN MEDIA

Asian American How did the pan-ethnic identity of "Asian American" come to be? Although many different groups have unique histories of arrival in America, we have somehow managed to form an identity group that serves to advance our social/political advocacy work. Strategic essentialism refers to a concept in postcolonial theory (introduced by Spivak in 1980s) in which minority groups who may have strong differences can mobilize themselves based on some shared aspects of identity. This temporary strategy of a group identity can be advantageous to achieve certain goals, such as equal rights or antiglobalization. There wasn't always a united front. Some would argue that the umbrella term of "Asian American" today is still too simplistic in that narratives have often been dominated by East Asians. When anti-Japanese sentiment peaked during WWII, some insisted on maintaining exclusive boundaries between different ethnic groups. Asserting that "I am Chinese." was another way of saying "I am not Japanese, and therefore you should not target me. I am one of the good guys." Asian American identity emerged with the creation of The Asian American Political Alliance (AAPA), a political organization started at University of California, Berkeley in 1968 that aimed to unite all Asian Americans under one identity to push for political and social action. More than just sharing geographical roots, the new identity was also meant to be a united voice of protest and an aspiration toward a more empowering narrative. In 1977, the federal Office of Management and Budget required data collection on "Asian or Pacific Islander" people, bringing Asians out of the categorization of "Other". By the 1990 census, "Asian or Pacific Islander (API)" was included as an explicit category. The 2000 census used two separate categories, "Asian American" and "Native Hawaiian and Other Pacific Islander".

-Frank Wu, A Moral Dilemma on Honorary Whiteness

How about Asian American representation without commodifying ourselves? Asian Americans who aren't conventionally beautiful and sexy Asian Americans who aren't hyper-masculine Asian Americans who aren't praised simply because they're "fuckable" Asian Americans played by actual Asian Americans Asian Americans with brown skin Asian Americans in lead roles with three-dimensional characters Asian Americans who aren't appropriating black culture queer and trans Asian Americans Asian Americans who aren't forced to take sides Asian Americans who are sad, angry, and tired Asian American men who don't put down Asian American women for their own social/political advancement Asian Americans who don't exploit their parents' trauma for their own benefit Asian Americans who aren't expected to speak on behalf of their entire community Asian Americans who don't need to earn capital or have bankable skills Asian Americans who are just here to have a good time Asian Americans who fall in love Asian Americans who advocate for their own rights as well as other marginalized groups Asian Americans whose identities expand beyond Asianness

W h oo ssee S t o rr yy iiss

Being Told? "When you represent a marginalized group, you will unavoidably exclude others who, in turn, feel even more marginalized." - Tak

Sometimes you must focus on representing yourself. If you try to represent everyone, you will simply get lost and you won't actually be helping anyone.

Attempting to tell someone else's story (that isn't yours to tell) isn't helping much if you are taking up too much space in the process or you are misrepresenting them. Let people tell their own stories first. Ask for permission. Let people represent themselves. Offer help (but don't think you know better and don't take things personally if you are not wanted) and open up that space for others who may need it more.

Â Rememberâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;when attempting to help others, it is not about you.Â

Think of your favorite movie or a movie you most recently watched.

Think about the characters in the movie. Who is represented in the main cast? Who gets the shortest amount of screen time? Who gets to be the hero of the story? Who is depicted as evil/scary? Who is dehumanized? Who is limited to a single defining character trait as opposed to three-dimensional personalities? Â Do you see any stereotypes? What would you change about any of the characters?

Try writing/creating a character of your own.Â Be intentional. Who do you want to see represented in media? If you cannot personally relate to the character you want to see represented, ask yourself if there is someone more qualified to represent this character.

Remember that characters of color are not replacements for creators/writers/artists of color.

Chapter 2

Fetishization of Asian Americans

Like a parasite All you do is take Until there is nothing left But empty skins and lost tongues

You feed us fabricated images Drowned in sugar Woven from lies made of silk And stolen innocence This is beauty. This is power.Â

To become a butterfly A caterpillar must first digest itself Before it can radically transform its body Within a protective cocoon

This body is no longer hosting This body is no longer for consumption This body will shed off its baggage

And rebuild itself no matter How many times it is dissolved.Â

-Sunny Woan, White Sexual Imperialism: A Theory of Asian Feminist Jurisprudence

"Asian Americans have not been racialized in a vacuum...to the

contrary, Asian Americans have been racialized relative to and through interaction with Whites and Blacks" - Claire Jean Kim

Who is "your type"?

Is there a difference between who you would fuck

and who you would start a family with?

If there is...Â why?

Be honest and critical.

Not

sex

y!!!

Chapter 3

Emasculation of the Asian Man Ine

ffin

ate

Solutions? - Appropriation of black culture - misogyny - homophobia

E D N U

NO!!!

B IRA

us ur pe db

feminine

starv

ed r

ate

sex-

apis

hit

effemin

buck-tooth

fore

misogynistic

patriarchal tuban mystics

orit

inated

del

ring

se xu al ly de

wh ing

lur

lat

ite

Words from: Shek, Yen Ling. “Asian American Masculinity: A Review of the Literature.” Chua, Peter, and Dune C. Fujino. “Negotiating New Asian-American Masculinities: Attitudes and Gender Expectations.”

piu

ASIAN AMERICAN MEN ARE...

lustful

exotic

subord

min

inee

cheap

dom

asexual

ign

bumbling

how do you wish to re-define yourself? write, draw, do whatever below to re-shape and challenge whatever labels have wrongly been placed on you

A T S U J ❌ S ' IT � PR � E ‼

FER � EN � CE 20

chapter 4

Colorism

n: 1 a form of bias that is based primarily upon skin tone and hair type; 2 present in cultures all over the word

recreating beauty

is never easy.

no one gives you a handbook to teach you how to unlearn all the shit you've been taught your whole life

when the pain subsides, and the aching heart throbs a little less i begin the work of reshaping and remolding crafting up MY sense of beauty for myself

where the make-up palettes are about as contrastive as the moon in the night sky and band-aids are constant reminders that i hold my own dominion over my own health

and let me grab my skin so tight that the blood seeps away from my veins and leaves my skin sickly pale

shattered mirrors and Hollywood screens have nothing to give me they have sucked the life force from my very soul until i am slathered in creams and balms to be this thing i am not

and no white man, no Auntie or Grandpa can define MY beauty on MY body for MY self. but recreating beauty is never easy.

Self-Love

CREATE YOUR OWN DESIGN OF SELF-LOVE; SOMETHING TO REMIND YOU OF YOUR OWN WORTH WHENEVER YOU SEE IT!Â

adapted from a conversation with a friend

n ski y r vo — ace.” ...but she i d told me ze egg’ surf i l t h a t it was b do ed e etter if I g i boil on th had n o j u l a s t h k e t s pt my fa e ha s ‘lik smoo ce hidden f o r n t h e sun cou a t i nd , p a tha e a l d n o J t scorch through “ hit the layer w s hiding t, skin. Mot my sof her s

aid she d id not want me to seem p oor, like a field wor ker...

n by our criminatio is d al ci ra a lot of ng perienced us for bei down on “We’ve ex k o lo o h es w r.” ese relativ and poore pure Chin ng darker ei b r fo d odian an part Camb

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...And he sai be 'A kind osian', asdloit was oka eyes... f Asian...wng as I w y for me ith ligh as the r to t skin, ight big ark ity, [d n u m nce, om tellige dian c n i o s b s m e l er Ca th d low ed wi n t "In the a a i c y l l o ] ass anua skin is king m r o ess." w , ss ctiven a r t lazine t a n and u class, "Bu t it did beg in my rea liza tio n tha t Ca uc asi an s lik ed bei ng tan bec au se it ind ica ted he alt h an d sun shi ne , wh ere as I acc ep ted ge ttin g da rke r du rin g the sum me r as an ine vit ab ilit y bu t no t pa rti cu lar ly de sir ab le."

words and stories by: Jones, Trina. "The Significance of Skin Color in Asian and AsianAmerican Communities: Initial Reflections"

REVIVAL TRANSFORMATION

self.

BEAUTY

LOVE

DISCOVERY

RECLAMATION APPRECIATION

CHAPTER 5

queer, trans & nonbinary.

The whole rice queen phenomenon, You know, I have nothing against White men who like Asian Men. I think it becomes exploitative, questionable, and crucifiable when White men have their ideal image of the smooth Asian bottom who will, who will listen to their biddings.

It pisses me off that White men, because of power and money, can perpetuate the stereotypes. And not uplift and appreciate the Asian lovers for who they really are.

When I do gender-bending stuff, men try to pick me up like you would not believe. And they know I'm a guy in a dress. It's mostly White guys who hit on me. Might be that they think I'm more effeminate or more submissive. "Oh! This is a great bottom." This one guy did grab my butt from behind, and I slapped his hand and I said, "No, darling, you don't do this." You don't do this to women, I certainly hope you don't and you certainly don't do that to me.

- Michael from Kevin K. Kumashiro's Supplementing normalcy and otherness: Queer Asian American men reflect on stereotypes, identity, and oppression

Queer that means skinny/butch blonde short/long hair backwards cap/ skater plaid/checkered shirts tumblr girl

Vietnamese that means long, natural colored hair thin body no skin imperfections "girly" clothing purses/ make up skinny fingers Growing up, I did not fit into the exact mold that my family perceived what a Vietnamese girl looked like or social media's portrayal of queer/gay girl. My perception of beauty within my communities and within myself was largely made up of my family's input and my online niches (Tumblr, Facebook, Youtube). My only conception of a queer girl was: white, long hair, baseball cap, t-shirt loving, and thin; The way I looked and felt was wrong in every way. And I hated it. By creating this page, I was able to identify the pressures from my communities and identities. By entering college, I was able to see how narrow and suffocating these were. In college, I'm surrounded by people who are learning to love themselves and by beautiful LGBTQ people who are comfortable with who they are. And everyday, I still work on deconstructing all the beauty standards that were forced on me and everyday, I try to move closer to being happy with who I am and where I'm going. I move closer to realizing that I am not excluded from identities because I don't fit some mold. I'm still queer-and-here and Vietnamese-American. And if that does not fit my labels, oh well.

"It’s our culture that elevates youthfulness, whiteness, and thinness and our sexualities follow suit. How else do you explain two completely different attitudes towards the same exact gay body?" "The queer community is not at fault for existing within a culture that attempts to condition who and what we are sexually attracted to. However, we are certainly responsible for upholding those standards of beauty by placing certain bodies on pedestals." "Canonizing certain bodies is harmful to those who possess what is seen as a 'desirable' body, as well as those who do not. So for all of our sakes, let's stop doing that. As queer people, we have already established that society will not control who we love or how we live. Standards of beauty will crumble the moment we stop supporting their structures."

"Let’s create a community where everyone is celebrated for who they love, who they are, and how they look. Let the queer community be a light that beams with freedom and self-acceptance for all humankind. "

- Adam Eli, "Our Queer Bodies Are Beach Bodies Too" them. 2018

Peeling Labels

1. DRAW TWO SHAPES OR ITEMS BELOW, 2. ON EACH ITEM, ADD A LABEL THAT YOU IDENTIFY WITH. LABELS CAN BE REGARDING RACE GENDER, SEXUALITY, OR OTHER CATEGORIES. 2. AROUND EACH LABEL, WRITE WORDS ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE/SOCIETY WOULD PERCEIVE EACH LABEL AS. 3. WRITE WORDS THAT YOU BELIEVE THE LABEL DESCRIBES. (CIRCLE THESE)

THINK CRITICALLY: WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF LABELS? DO THESE LABELS? ENCOMPASS WHO YOU ARE? WHEN LOOKING AT PEOPLE, DO YOU LABEL THEM? THINK ABOUT HOW LABELLING CAN BE HARMFUL OR HELPFUL.

CHAPTER 6

SEX WORK IN ASIA

COMFORT WOMEN

"It is a classic [history] denier move. It feeds into a cancer around the world where people want to change historical narratives for a political and ideological goal that depends on making the past a prettier place." - Mindy Kotler - Cuts from articles: "'Japan Times' Newspaper Redefines 'Comfort Women' And 'Forced Labor'" by Vanessa Romo, "The first ‘comfort women’ statue is unveiled in a major U.S. city" by The Lily News, and "‘It Is Not Coming Down’: San Francisco Defends ‘Comfort Women’ Statue as Japan Protests" by Christine Hauser from the New York Times

Sex workers

Sex tourism is often portrayed through dualistic means such as "global./local, West/East, and, often by implication powerful/powerless." These often erase "the worldviews and everyday experiences of Southeast Asian sex workers, who rarely consider themselves victims of the political economy or part of a global sex traffic. Instead their lives are framed by issues of employment opportunities, family responsibilities and dreams of a better life -- at home or abroad"-- Law (11)

"Why should she go to the hard life? She's already been there, that's why she's in the bar." ..."Working in a bar is OK if you work hard. It makes you smarter" -- Virgie (68)

"I don't have enough education, I have no choice. It's easy money. I have no family here" - Virgie (66)

"May's philosophy ---'it's the bar that needs me, not me who needs the bar'... life in a bar allows you more freedom than being confined -- as a Filipina wife can be -- to the house" (73)

"...People look down on you. That's why I don't listen to the tsismis [gossip]. I stay in the house and work for my daughter" -- Edna (77)

From "Sex Work in Southeast Asia: The place of desire in a time of aids" by Lisa Law

NON-GOVERNMENT ORGANIZATIONS

SEX TOURISM Redefining, renegotiating, reimagining

du e

g in

d re

ty fe

-c

uti

tim

tit

vic

ros

the

i-p

ays

ant

alw

on em

Instead of have organizations centred around

anti-prostitutions campaigns, organizations such as Empower use a framework that women in the entertainment industry are capable of learning and protecting themselves from HIV infection.

FROM "SEX WORK IN SOUTHEAST ASIA: THE PLACE OF DESIRE IN A TIME OF AIDS" BY LISA LAW

CHECKLIST before volunteering/ working with communities What are the power dynamics that exist between the system and the community that you are working with? What are the power dynamics that exist between you and the community you are working with? Do these structures need to be there? Describe the community you are working with.Â Think about your answers to the above questions: How are your experiences similar to the community? If you see a community is missing something, what is it caused by (ie. structures, government, etc.) Note: it is important to move away from blaming communities/individuals for lacking in something but rather use surrounding systems to understand why this is the case.Â