Let me start with something important. This isn’t a REVIEW, per se, but a description. It also has what I liked and disliked about it. I guess it could be a review, if you really wanted it to. Hi. I’m Elijah, and I own a game called Kinect Adventures for the Xbox 360. And this is your review, if that’s what you wanted it to be. I grabbed five of my friends for this game. It depends who you are, but you may no them or you may not. Don’t worry about it. My partner for this adventure was Bertina. Jack and Doryn were working together, and we all knew that wouldn’t listen to anyone. Rae and Yasu were paired up as well, and Yasu was the rookie. He also didn’t really understand the concept of fiction. One thing I’d like to mention is that we all did the same level for each mode. It made things even, and we wanted to make it as fair of a competition as possible. To start out the adventure, we were placed in a glass tank underwater. Some fish started attacking us. Rae and Yasu, who were trapped down there first, didn’t process the situation very well. I informed them that the mode was called 20,000 Leaks. Yasu also asked why fish were attacking them, and I yelled at him for trying to add realism into the game. They escaped with 127 points. Doryn and Jack, who failed a lot, pulled off 114. Bertina and I came out with 136, the winning score. Now, something we all knew is that an adventure wouldn’t be complete without rafting on a rushing river. So, naturally, we were all expecting the next mode: River Rush. Before you read on, just take one guess about what we were doing. If you don’t feel like guessing, then fine. You raft down a river and try to collect coins. Yasu and Rae went first. Naturally, since Yasu doesn’t get video games, he asked why they defied the laws of physics and made the raft go up when they jumped. Naturally, since I like to yell at Yasu, I yelled at Yasu for trying to add realism. They came out with 108 points. The uncontrollable pair of Jack and Doryn scored 100. And once again, Bertina and I got the winning score, with 118. The third was Rallyball. Boy, was it fun. Rallyball is when you hit dodgeballs and try to smash all of the wooden blocks as fast as you can. Bertina and I actually lost this time, and our score was 78. Rae and Yasu got 83, and Doryn and Jack got 133 points with their flailing techniques. The weird thing about this mode is that when you hit the dodgeballs hard enough, they turn into fireballs. Yasu didn’t like this, but no one cared what he thought. Next was Reflex Ridge. These developers really enjoy their R’s. You’re on a moving platform and you have to dodge all the obstacles. You have to duck, jump, and move side-‐ to-‐side. Also, jumping makes you travel faster. Once again, Yasu questioned the logic, and he was slandered with complaints about trying to add realism into the game. Each person on the team did the course, and the combined score was the score we used. Rae and Yasu didn’t do really well, as Rae was terrible at this mode and Yasu had no idea of what to do. They ended up with a combined score of 213. Doryn and Jack flailed around and crashed into obstacles, getting a combined score of 237. My partner and I ended up with 292, the high score. And last, but certainly not least (that award goes to 20,000 Leaks), we have Space Pop. And if you thought this game was weird enough, they took that weirdness and threw it out of the window…into space. In Space Pop, you’re in a zero-‐gravity chamber…in space.
You have to flap your arms up and down and move back and forth to pop all the bubbles. It makes NO SENSE whatsoever, but it’s still really fun. Yasu, of course, wanted realism. I didn’t, and gave him some flack for it. The scores of the three pairs were 221, 223, and 227. I was going to give you a moment to guess who was who, and then I remembered this is a story. So Doryn and Jack got 221, Rae and Yasu got 223, and Bertina and I got 227. Bertina and I had four victories, Doryn and Jack had one, and Rae and Yasu had zero. And so the total scores fell as they would. First place had 851 (Bertina and I), second place had 795 (Doryn and Jack), and third had 753 (Rae and Yasu.) And thus we reach the end of our tour. Have a good night, and remember Kinect Adventures. It’s actually a fun game.