The First Time Julia

The First Time

You walk into unfamiliar rooms feeling hesitant. Streaming down your fingers are rivulets; your hands dampen. Your breathing becomes uneven and your heart beats out of your chest. Surrounding you are worlds unknown, where nothing is expected. Everything you do will have a cryptic outcome. Don’t you feel vulnerable? The first time makes your walls become a shade of gray you never saw before. The boundaries you made in confidence are drawn all over again, where every area of assurance is pulled out in front of you. In a blissful world you would be poised with your shoulders back and eyes looking ahead. Everything around you would be clear as day. The beat of your heart would be unblemished; your breath would be at ease; your hands would feel dry. It would feel as if you had been there all your life when you walk into the room. But this ideal world doesn’t exist…