The Universe and Why It Doesn't Exist by Liam M.

The Universe and Why It Doesn’t Exist For millions of years, humanity has been searching for the answer to the meaning of the universe and how it came to be, and it continues to, though theories have been introduced. I plan to answer these questions maliciously and with extreme sarcasm. First off, the universe doesn’t exist, it never existed and will never start existing, and it has been not existing for a very, very long time- at the very least seven and a half billion years.

Now, the universe itself could be thought of as a theory, or perhaps a spiritual representation of what space the useless humanity would occupy had they ever existed, but like it or not, it will never be a reality. To start, we shall put two creational theories on the table, the religious, nonconventional, argument-starting one, and the scientific, makes-senseif-you-don’t-think-too-much-about-it, explosive one.

The religious theory circles around a single observer believing that the universe, an infinite mass of celestial bodies and dark energy, was the result of a being’s (whether it was anything from a man to a fish is unknown) experimentation. Had this been true, the cause of this result would most likely be a horrifying digestive combination of Funyuns and PEZ candies, but the truth is that this is impossible. For there to be a “creator” figure would mean that there would need to be a creator to that creator, and so on and so on. In other words, there would need to be an infinite number of forces (each one more powerful than the last) above the creator figure for this theory to be true, leaving the universe infinitely insignificant, rather than nonexistent as it really is.

The scientific theory is the more conventional method of explaining how the universe was made, though every bit as true as the religious one, and explains that the universe was created through a cosmic coincidence in which a tight grouping of hot, dense matter exploded into a space of infinite mass and infinite density; this is impossible, as like with the previous theory, something would have to have put that ball of matter where it was, and something would have to create that something and so on and so on.

I believe that the only way that the universe could possibly exist is if it was capsuled inside a field of absolute chaos. How would that work? It doesn’t need a reason- it’s chaos.

Who put it there? Chaos. Doesn’t need a reason.

Now, to touch upon the meaning of life- there is none, there is no meaning to something that A) does not exist or B) is kept inside a field of pure discord.

-by Liam