HEELS FALL 2019
B. Classy Styling By Brendan Classy Interior Living
Jason Fredericks
I HAVE A POWERFUL TESTIMONY
GLOBAL MAGAZINE
The Editor's Notes
With Fall comes the cold, the snow and the must anticipated holidays seasons. You know, that season when we look forward to celebrating Thanksgiving and Christmas with family and friends. The time when most of us will put on an extra five to ten pounds and make a New Year resolution to get rid of it before Summer. This can be “The most wonderful time of the year” for many who enjoy the hustle and bustle of shopping, large crowds and baking cookies for endless hours at a time. However, this time of year is not so joyous for many people. As a matter of fact, I have not encountered and encouraged so many people struggling with “surviving” the holidays as I have in the past few months. As I read over the articles submitted by our amazing team of contributors I noticed that many of the articles had a central theme based on how to deal with the barrage of emotions that attack us during this time of year. Regardless of your perception of this season in life, it is my greatest hope for you, that you will take this time to firstly exercise in self-care. It is more important for YOU to be alright than for you to struggle all the while making sure that everyone else in your life is alright even if you are miserable in the process. If you thrive during the holidays, continue to thrive as long as you don’t crash on the first of the year because you feel as if you have nothing else to look forward to until the next major holiday. Please remember that we are all so very different and handle life in different ways and we must begin to understand that just because I’m okay doesn’t mean that you are okay. And I must be willing to allow you to do whatever you need to do to be alright without personalizing your decision to “do you” in a way that keeps you mentally and emotionally healthy this year. In this season I wish you peace, joy, happiness and I hope that you will gain the wisdom that you need to navigate through life’s ups and downs and come out on the other side stronger and better.
Cheryl Jones-Ross Editor in Chief
HEELS ON THE COVER B. Classy Styles
Editor in Chief Cheryl Jones-Ross
Contents Fall 2019 Edition
Assistant Editor in Chief Tyonna Singleton Assistant Editor Vivian Edmonds
Contributing Writers Theresa Baker Angela Christina Shelia V. Davis
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Robin Sample Shawna Solomon Cassandra Spearman Nicole Turner-Thomas Rev. Denise Wade
Staff Photographer Matthew Singleton SICQOGRAPHY Additional Photo Credits: RawPixels
Mz Nikki
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Healing Comes In Time Brittny Ruth
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Be The One Rev. Denise Wade
18
Chapters of Life Cassandra Spearman
20
I Have A Powerful Testimony Interview With Jason Fredericks
Tonya Riley Gilbert Brittny Ruth
Hair Me Out
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Full Of Thanks Angela Christina
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B. Classy Styles By Brendan
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It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year Robin Sample
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Faces of Depression Tonya Riley Gilbert
Feature Stories In This Issue
B. Classy Styles By Brendan Faces Of Depression
Page 24
Page 33
I Have A Powerful Testimony Interview With Jason Fredericks Page 20
Are you making tracks in this life, for others to follow? If so We want to hear your story! BRTYCAPUBLISHING@GMAIL.COM
I See You Beautiful!
đ&#x;”´ Winter is probably the toughest on hair and skin. It's the time when people are bundled up in coats, turtlenecks, scarves , and hats. These components can be very drying to your hair. I am a stickler on healthy hair. Ask any of my clients. I am constantly telling them what to do and what not to do to keep their hair, especially in the winter months. Snowy, wet, freezing weather can be harsh on our hair and skin. There are ways to maintain healthy hair and skin during these times. Hair: When wearing scarves, hats, turtlenecks, and even just your coats, wear a satin scarf around your neck under your garments. This acts as a barrier between your nape and the material. Allowing the material to lay on your nape, can be damaging to your hair. Trust me you want to get this, especially ladies that receive chemical services.  See your hairstylist at least every 2 weeks and recieve under the dryer deep conditioning treatments. This puts back any moisture that has been stripped away from the bitter cold.Â
Olive oil is good as well to add needed moisture. Be sure to get those ends good. Stay away from any extra heat, outside from what your stylist does. By the weather being so brittle, you don't need any added stress to your hair...NO ADDED HEAT! Make sure you sleep on a satin pillowcase. This is excellent protection on your hair. Maintains moisture and your style.
Photo by Daria Shevtsova from Pexels
đ&#x;”´ Skin: I know there are lots of people who swear by different cleansers for the face. I do not use cleansers or soaps of any kind on my face. I am not telling you that's what you should do, I am sharing what has always worked for me. I use plain old hot water on my face every day and night. I also use a good moisturizer. THAT IS A MUST! The same goes for your hair; your skin needs extra attention during the winter months. For those that wear makeup, I use makeup wipes to remove all makeup.Â
HYDRATE! HYDRATE! HYDRATE! Drink plenty of water. Water is life! If we are properly hydrated, so will our hair and skin.Â
Stay safe and warm this winter
Â
Photo by VitĂłria Santos from Pexels
 I would love to answer any questions you may have concerning your beauty needs. Call or Text me at 412-828-6454 I am always open for Beauty questions. Feel free to email me at SHDBN06@gmail.com                            I See U Beautiful ~Mz. NikkiÂ
2343 Smallman St. Sola Salons Suite Mz Nikki 8a Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania Get Directions m.me/SophiscatedHairDesign Call (412) 828-6454
Going to the ends. Where no one else goes. Because Jesus is alive in the hardest places to be a child.
Connect 1.888.511.6548 World Vision P.0. Box 9716 Federal Way, WA 98063
SS O -R T S S I E G N E M O T J O A C R . YL T E R S E IN E L H F I C N L O ER IN N A IN KP L A T S LET
Photo by cottonbro from Pexels
Healing Comes, In Time
We hear another version of, “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” playing on the radio as I drive and we chuckle. “How many different ways can a different person sing the same song?” My daughter says, as a statement more than a question. It is pretty excessive. But, we don’t stop listening. That’s where we find the humor. The holiday season does something to us. Stirs up an excitement that we’ve been waiting for all year. It’s been this way for me until recently. Loss of loved ones have forced me to realize that the holidays aren’t always an exciting time. For me, it’s not all of the time. Holiday music still makes me smile. And when the house is dark, the lights on my Christmas tree still give me a feeling of peace and contentment. But, I understand that more often than not, the holidays are a time for a wave of grief. A warm blanket of sadness that for some, begins on November 1st, and doesn’t release it’s grip until the 2nd of January. At the start of November, the anticipation of what the holiday will be like and how to plan around the emptiness is overwhelming. And by the close of the holiday, you realize you have lived through the year while someone you love hasn’t. You will go on, you will get older, while leaving them there...in that year. Sometimes it feels pretty impossible to think and celebrate beyond that. Through the years, we learn that the holidays can be a dreaded time for so many. It’s a harsh lesson that inevitably happened to me in my mid years. But, for my daughter, nieces and nephews it came much sooner. Before some of them even entered their teenage years, they were faced with the loss of their grandmother and for my niece and nephews; their grandmother and mother as well . Thinking of how sad they must be, makes me sad. Thinking of the time I get to spend with my sister’s kids, making memories that she should be making, riddles me with guilt. So what do we do? And really, what can we do? We could move forward, celebrate and continue the family traditions still remembering and incorporating our loved ones into the season. We could make new memories because the old ones are too painful to keep up with. Or we could forget the holidays entirely, try to hide behind the calendar and the comforter on our beds and wait for the days to be over.
Photo by cottonbro from Pexels
The second Mother’s Day without my mom, I felt no tinge of sadness. I was still a mother so I chose to celebrate that. I wanted to also celebrate all of those aunts, godmothers and friends of my mom’s that have looked out for me since her passing. I had every intention on stopping by Target one afternoon to purchase a few Mother’s Day cards to mail. I walked into Target that day feeling absolutely good. I ran out of Target that day hiding the flood of tears from my nephew who was trying to keep up with my fast pace. I bought no cards. I may have read three cards before my heart gave in to the reality that the last Mother’s Day card and gift I bought was for MY mother, and I’d never be able to do that again and neither would this eleven year old boy behind me. For some reason, when I was in the card aisle that day, I tried to push through and read a few more cards after those initial three. For a moment that day I tried to make myself do something that was virtually impossible for me to do. And that was damaging to my psyche for the weeks that followed.
The truth is, there is no universal right answer. This is the time where you inventory YOUR feelings and know YOUR limits. The holidays are too fragile a time for you to ignore your emotions. Not everyone will understand that. And that’s when we make the awful mistake of doing the holidays for everyone else and not ourselves. And that’s when we risk ruining the celebrating for everyone because we forced our feelings to the back burner. When the holidays come and you start to feel much less than your best. Do what will bring you healing. If sitting in your grief will help you sort out the pain and bring healing to you, do it. If refusing to give in to sadness is more your path, then do that. We are the ones that are left behind to find our way...our new purpose. I believe we will find that in listening to ourselves and knowing when enough is enough and too much is too much. We should all start to create a world that is sympathetic and understands those concepts. In this season that may remind us of our loss, may we all find the hope to carry on, in our own way and in our own time.
~Brittny Ruth
wishing you the best holiday season ever.
HEELS GLOBAL MAGAZINE
Be That One Matthew 8:14-15 (NIV) When Jesus came into Peter’s house, he saw Peters mother -in- law lying in bed with a fever. He touched her hand and the fever left her, and she got up and began to wait on him. KJV says that she “ministered unto them.” As a survivor of domestic violence and colon cancer, I can’t help but make this scripture personal in my life. When I think of how the Lord touched and healed my body and delivered me out of a hostile situation that the enemy meant for my destruction, I want to be that one. This woman didn’t wait, she didn’t need to pray about it, she didn’t need to wait on confirmation and she didn’t ask anyone’s opinion. She understood that her fever was gone and she felt better now than she did when she lied down. Her strength had been renewed, her joy returned and all she wanted to do was say thank, you just as quickly as she was healed. And I realized that we need to “Be that one.” Silver and gold have I none, but such as I have, I want to be that one who is grateful enough and humble enough to not only say thank you, but to offer myself as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable unto God for all He has done for me. I want to be that one who has enough sense to realize that it was not of anything we did on our own, but it was by the mercies of God who loves us so much, that He looks beyond our faults and provides our every need. I’m reminded of the ten leper’s who were healed as they were on their way to be confirmed by the priest. Only one returned to say thank you. We need to be that one, because he realized he didn’t deserve to be healed…he was a Samaritan. If we truthfully examine ourselves, just like the Samaritan we don’t deserve all that we receive from God, but we accept his grace and mercy as though He owes us something. We need to be that one who returns with repentance on our lips and gratefulness in our hearts. We need to be that one who worships God in spirit and in truth.
Photo by bruce mars from Pexels
Photo by Luis Quintero from Pexels
We need to be that one who worships God in spirit and in truth. We need be that one who will be a blessing to others because God has so generously blessed us and our families. We need to be that one who defies the weapons of the enemy; hatred, jealousy, lying, deceit, anger, unforgiveness, stealing, killing and blasphemy. We need to be that one who will give hope to the hopeless, love to the unloveable, food to the hungry, pray for the hurting and speak life to those who can’t see their God-given purpose. We need to be that one who will be a witness for Lord, be the one with a testimony of just how good Jesus really is. Be the one whose walk is a testimony of steadfast faith in a man you’ve never seen, but you know. He’s always there. Be that one, whom God has anointed for a purpose, to let your light shine so bright before men and women, that when in your presence, there will never be any doubt in their minds that there is a God, because they will see Him in everything you do and say. Be That One!
Rev. Denise Wade
CHAPTERS OF LIFE Our lives are open books with many chapters. Each chapter is designed to develop character, integrity and give a sense of purpose. Every word, sentence and paragraph must be nurtured and handled with care. It is our job to build upon each chapter and create a firm foundation for our lives and the lives of others. What often happens is somewhere along this journey we call life, we block, bury, disregard or hide a chapter due to embarrassment, fear, hurt, lack of knowledge or pain. When we fail to allow the chapters of our lives to play out, we get stuck, stagnant and take on the issues and problems of others and become diseased. For example, let's say we all get 52 chapters. The moment you take one of your chapters out of play and pick up someone elses chapter to fill a void, you put yourself at a disadvantage. Not only have you stopped your rhythm, but you are now holding more than you were created to handle. When our chapters get tangled up with someone else's chapters , it is hard to know which chapters to extract in our development process. Now we have a book with chapters that were never meant to be there. This type of entanglement, causes disease to take place within ourselves and that leads to disease throughout our lives. The symptoms of this disease are desperation, defeat, depression and distress. The good news is that if you're willing to go back and uncover the blocked, buried and disregarded chapters of your life, you can heal your disease and replace your symptoms with your desires, drive, dreams and destiny because... Desperation can't occur where Desire lives. Defeat can 't surface when your Drive is in motion. Depression can't arise when you're living your Dreams. Distress can't awaken when Destiny is all you see.
DON'T BE AFRAID TO SIT IN SILENCE OR LAY IN DARKNESS
This will aid in your development by enabling you to see how your behaviors, blindspots, glimpses, characteristics, experiences, influences and thought process have led you to this chapter of your life. Without this reintroduction of oneself, the world can and will continue to label you based on the chapters in your life that aren't yours. They will steal your voice, lead you by your insecurities and provide you with a stance that continually causes turmoil with who you were born to be. Be mindful that reintroduction takes time and is crucial to your development. If you don't give yourself time to turn the pages of your life, you'll expect things too early from yourself and this will cause you to look to someone else, when all the answers to your next chapters lie within. Don't be afraid to sit in silence or lay in darkness, because silence is balance and darkness is creation and this is where true development takes place. It's in these moments that your one-liners, your hook, your chorus and your difference maker comes to life. This is where you get to practice and sharpen your sense of timing and self control. It's where your personality is crafted and made to come alive. This is where you adjust your speed, interpret your competitiveness and construct the next chapters of your life.
Cassandra Spearman
I HAVE A POWERFUL TESTIMONY Jason Fredericks
HGM had the amazing honor of interviewing Jason Fredericks, not once, but twice for this edition of Heels Global Magazine. It was not the intention to do two interviews however, there was a technical problem with our recording equipment during the first interview and Mr. Fredericks was gracious enough to allow us to talk with him again. This turned out to be a blessing because he shared some things with me that I would not have received had we not spoken again and some valuable principals that our viewers would have missed. Don’t be dismayed, we have included some wonderful excerpts from our interview in this article. During both interviews, Jason spoke candidly and extensively with HGM about his childhood, his business, his hopes and dreams as well as his recent battle with Multiple Myeloma. HGM: What were you like as child? Were you always “funny” or was there a time that you discovered that you could make people laugh. Jason: We grew in Tacoma, Washington. Many people know where Seattle is but not many have heard of Tacoma. We came from the generation where children were seen but not heard. Therefore we had to be funny or we were sent to bed. I was always funny, even in school I was the class clown. Everyone in my family is funny, mom, dad, aunts and uncles. We were raised with our uncles and we would often sit around entertaining the family. We were raised in the church, I’m a church boy so all I knew was the church. There were a lot of funny things that happened in the church and we did comedy routines about those things. We didn’t make jokes about pastors stealing from the churches or about the old deacons with no teeth. We didn’t see pastors doing those things. The pastors that we knew were good men and were successful in pastoring and in business. Talking about Deacons with no teeth was just corny. As children, we grew up in a strict environment because we were Apostolic. The women weren’t allowed to wear makeup or pants. We could not do a lot of things that the other children in the neighborhood were allowed to do. We couldn’t go to the skating rink and yet we were allowed to skate outside. This didn’t make sense to us, but that was our life.
(Jason Fredericks has a brother named Kevin Fredericks. Many people know Kevin as “Kevonstage”. Jason also has a younger sister. Jason, Kevin and their best friend Anthony Davis together created “The Playmakers”. According to their facebook page, “The Playmakers are the creative force behind a number of popular YouTube videos: “Stuff Black Parents Say”, “Stuff Black Church Girls Say”, “How to Shout in a Black Church”, “How to Work the Altar at a Black Church”, “How To Get a Church Girl” and more, garnering over 13 million views”. The popularity of those videos led to the development of "The Playmakers Show", which debuted on Alright TV, a YouTube channel headed by BET Founder, Bob Johnson and producer and business mogul, Tracey Edmonds.) Jason: It was in Anthony’s church that we did most of our videos. Anthony’s father was our pastor at that time. We started off doing local plays and became very successful at it. One of our most popular plays and our last play was “Til Death Do Us Part”. During those times many popular people were traveling the country doing plays and would often come to town. We were filling venues and making money with our plays. This play was well produced with a set design, sound, lights, full band, singers, everything. (If you get an opportunity to watch the play on Youtube, it is a must see). We planned on taking the play to the next level by taking it out on the road. We worked hard over the years at perfecting our dream and had finally gotten an investor. However, when the investor said that we needed to invest $200,000 of our own money as well, we were devastated because we didn’t have that type of money, We were only 22-25 years old at the time. We were just young guys trying to make it, not drug dealers. This is when we stopped making plays. After that, it was rough. I had to pray and ask the Lord to remove that desire for doing plays from my heart. I told God if He did not want me to continue, He needed to get it out of me. I did not want to spend the rest of my life with that burning inside of my heart and never being able to fulfill that desire. Soon after that, we saw other people doing videos on Youtube and being successful at it. This was during the time when Youtube was popular. We started off making videos about “Stuff Black Girls Say”, “Stuff Black Parents Say” and these videos immediately went viral.
Powerful Testimony & TRUU Merch
HGM: What are your fears and how do you handle fear? Jason: Even though I said in another interview that I would not go through cancer treatments again, I feel that it would be hypocritical for me to not try especially when I instill into my own childern the importance of never giving up. I have always been resilient even though walking through cancer was extremely hard and very mentally challenging. I was not afraid of what would happen to me but, I was afraid of what would happen to my family. Who would take care of my wife and children. As of right now I would not do it again however, I can not say if I would stand on that statement if I was facing cancer again. HGM: Where do you see yourself five or ten years from now? Jason: I want to produce movies, music, all kinds of different things. I love production work. HGM: What do you want people to know about you that they may not know? ` Jason: I want people to know that I am the type of person that likes to push people to their potential. I used to work for the state of Washington in the welfare office. I would see women with children coming into the office for help. Often some of the workers would intentionally be mean to them. They would make them take papers home to fill out. Those women would have to catch a bus back and forth with all of their children and return again with the papers filled out. I didn’t like that. I wanted to help those people to become successful and it bothered me to see others treat them with such disrespect. I was blessed to have nearly two combined hours of conversing with Jason. During this time, I found him to be a man full of wisdom, filled with the love of God and an extreme love for his family. However written words don’t often convey the reality of the heart and essence of a person. Therefore, it was important for both of us to make sure that his words were recorded so that his true heart could be shared with our viewers in the hopes that someone will be blessed by his testimony. Yes, “He Has A Powerful Testimony”. You can listen to this interview in its entirety on our website. However, you must be a Global Member to gain access to it. You can become a Global member and listen to this interview and other powerful interviews at www.heels-magazine.com Get some merch here: https://shop.spreadshirt.com/TRUUTestimony/
FULL OF THANKS
If we were to stop and reflect on our lives, there is much to be so very thankful for. Yes, we have regrets and can compose a list of life experiences that have left us disappointed, unprotected and even asking “why me?” Most of the time it is easier to take ownership of things brought on by our own actions and choices. Yet, when things happen that are out of our control that turns our world into a full out tailspin it can feel absolutely earth-shattering. In these moments we can be left feeling unable to recover or struggling to find ways to deal, and yes even survive. How can we possibly be thankful in these moments? How can we have a genuine and sincere spirit of gratitude when it seems like even the odds are forever in favor against us. For some of us developing the art of true thankfulness takes some practice. Even more so in those moments when we feel overwhelmed by life’s “setbacks” we have to remind ourselves of the things we appreciate. Being thankful requires us to reflect, acknowledge and recognize the value of a “thing”. But the true realization comes when in our evaluation we are able to see clearly the impact it has made for a better and greater self. We must persist toward being full of thanks. Being deliberately thankful stirs up the hope that lives within us. It allows us to see life in a whole new way. It shifts not only our mindset but also our actions and reactions. Ultimately, allowing us to relish life’s journey with gratitude and grace.
Meditations: Full of Thanks Bold: God, teach me how to stir up the hope that lives within me Blessed: Lord, help me to identify all of the Thankful Things” especially in the hard times. Bossy: God, help me to practice the art of thankfulness
Writer, Angela Christina www.BoldBlessedBossy.c
“4 years ago I was sitting on the floor of my friend’s apartment and she said she wanted to do her living room over again and I said let’s do it I’m off tomorrow…..The next day we went shopping and the project began. We started around 11am and got done painting and putting it all together at 2am ...and that was just for fun !!!!!!! I had no idea I would be doing this as another stream of income!!!! God is amazing !!!!!!”
Brendan Williams
Have you ever looked at a space in your home and thought “I can do something magical with this?�. However, when you completed your much anticipated project, you wanted to set the space on fire because it looked nothing like you thought it would look like when you saw it in your mind. Not to mention, you probably went over your budget and wasted valuable time on your project only to be disappointed with the results. These are some of the many reasons why you may want to considering hiring a professional interior designer. According to Brendan Williams, owner of B. Classy Styling and Classy Living Interiors, he creates for functionality of your existing environment through the assessment of various colors, fabrics, patterns, and accents to customize a palette to meet your specific style needs. Interior design is an art, clearly proven through the work of Classy Living Interiors. Mr. Williams uses the powerful design tool of color to create a deep experience with the colors that he chooses for a particular space. He understands their effect on the human emotion and their ability to prompt a positive response in the spirit and soul. He understands that curtains are not solely for blocking out the sunlight or keeping nosey neighbors at bay. But, window treatments are generally the focus of every room. A good window treatment can energize a room while poorly chosen curtains can turn a room into a dream design or turn it into a dungeon. However, in the room featured below, Mr. Williams uses colors and fabrics as the primary focus and chooses a basic curtain to transform this room into an exotic parlor.
"Entry Way
"DETAILS MATTER"
"SIMPLE AND CLASSY IS WHAT SHE WANTED."
"AND IT'S WHNAT WAS GIVEN."
"LOVE WHEN MY CLIENTS LOVE MY WORK".
It’s the most wonderful time of the year!!
Stores and malls are more crowded, highways are busier, families are gathering, Christmas luncheons are full of fun festivities for coworkers and friends, and the sound of laughter can be heard all around! So, why are some people not so happy at this time of the year? There could be several reasons, such as financial stressors, family issues, work woes, or it could very well be because they are in a Domestic Violence (DV) relationship and can’t see their way out. Yes, this is the most wonderful time of the year…for some. And it’s the most stressful time of the year for others. There is absolutely no worse feeling than being controlled, abused, and manipulated by someone you love and trust. The daily feelings of fear, uncertainty and anxiety become ‘the norm’. So, the holiday cheer and all of the joy and happiness that comes along with it becomes nothing more than a blur. So, how do you help the person who is in a DV relationship enjoy the holiday season? Or, maybe it’s you who is living in a DV relationship. How do you enjoy the holiday season, in spite of your situation? Well, I am going to share some tips with you that I hope you find useful. First things first, everything we do begins with God and ends with God, so prayer is essential. So, my first tip for you is to pray without ceasing. When we pray, we welcome God’s presence into our lives and into our situations, and we know that He can turn any situation around. My second tip for you is to create a safety plan. We know that the most dangerous time for DV victims is when they leave or begin making plans to leave. Therefore, your safety plan should be made up of a combination of things, some that you can do on your own and some that others can assist you with. Those things should be having your cell phone on and fully charged at all times in the event you have to call 911, having a change of clothes and personal care items packed and easily accessible, having at least one place where you can flee to in an instant, preferably the home of a family member or friend.
My third tip for you is to keep your vehicle filled with gas, or at least have a half of tank of gas in the event you need to flee in a hurry. My fourth tip for you is to always keep a small amount of cash on you or, at least, available on a credit/debit/ATM card so that you can make emergency purchases if you need to. My fifth tip for you is to create a safe word that your family, friends, loved ones and coworkers, etc., will recognize in cases of emergency so that they will know to call 911 if you are unable to do so for yourself. My sixth and final tip for you is to connect with a DV Advocacy Support Program so that you can be assisted with implementing your safety plan and beginning your journey from victim to survivor. I know this isn’t the time of year that we want to think about matters such as this; however, there is someone right now, reading this article, who is trying to figure out how they are going to make it safely through the holiday season. Unfortunately, this is the unpleasant and frightening reality for many, and the more unfortunate thing is that this is a growing problem throughout our nation and beyond.
s
Photo by Engin Akyurt from Pexel
However, there is still hope!
If you or someone you know is a victim of Domestic Violence, take the first step to stop it in its tracks. You can start by calling the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1 (800) 799-7233 (SAFE) or 1 (800) 787-3224 (TTY), or www.thehotline.org, where support services are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year, including weekends and holidays.
Author Robin M. Sample, MSW
FACES OF DEPRESSION
Depression has many faces. I unfortunately never saw my own face when describing it to everyone else until.... One morning around 7am, I was headed to work and suddenly I was overcome with grief. It was 2 weeks after my mother’s death. The thought of being 5 weeks pregnant and not having her present for the arrival of my 3rd child was smothering. My chest was heavy and the tears seemed to have no end. I drove up to the clinic parking lot and couldn’t get the strength to go in. As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t stop crying. I cried for 15 minutes and quickly realized that I would soon be late for work if I didn’t get it together. I gathered myself and went in the back door of the brick building full of patients who were waiting on me to solve their medical problems. Yet, I was focused upon getting past my coworkers and going directly to see the office manager. You see, today, patients with cancer did not motivate me to work. The pain I Photo by Jonathan Borba from Pexels personally felt at the moment was overwhelming. I had NEVER stood up any of my patients before. It was so foreign to me, I didn’t know where to begin when I reached the manager’s office door. All I knew was that I needed someone to help me figure out how to rearrange my entire day. It was then that I heard my mother’s voice, “If you die today, they will replace you tomorrow”. So, take care of yourself first and my grandchild you now carry in your womb”. This shocked me into acknowledging what I was going through. Depression, which I treated on a daily basis, had found me, but how? I’m a medical provider. I know all of the signs and symptoms. How could I miss it? I was embarrassed and guilt-ridden. Still, I walked into the manager’s office. She was a compassionate woman. So with my face beginning to again drench with tears, I said, “Val, I tried, but I can’t do it today”. I need more time (falling into her chair crying uncontrollably). To provide context, she was there the day I got the call at work notifying me that my mother “was not breathing and was on her way via ambulance to the emergency room. She watched as I finished every chart, cleared and locked my desk and left to rush off to the hospital. She told me to take as much time as I needed. Later, she described how hard it was to watch me prepare for the worst. That day, I knew. I knew my mom would not be alive when I arrived to the ER. It took months, however, for it to settle in. I kept myself busy and never dealt with it properly. Yet, on this particular Monday morning, it all came tumbling down. She sent me home and I arranged to take off another week. I called my doctor and went on a self-healing journey. Although I turned down the option for medication and therapy, I knew enough to find alternative ways to help. I submerged myself in books and literature and began the healing process. I went on a retreat. I interrupted my thought patterns with positive ones. I surrounded myself only with positive energy and eventually changed jobs. Although it wasn’t an easy process, I made it through. I only have one regret. I wish I knew about essential oils to add them to my healing regimen. Now that I think about it, therapy would have been a wise move as well.
Photo by Mareefe from Pexels
Call to action: For those of you dealing with depression, always remember that you cannot heal alone. There are solutions available for you. Therapy, medication, diet, and exercise are the most common forms of treatment recommended by doctors. Natural solutions are helpful as well. Because depression can have physical and emotional symptoms, it is important to seek medical and or psychiatric attention immediately. Here are a list of essential oils that may help alleviate some of your symptoms of depression naturally and drug-free. Lavender The floral yet earthy scent of lavender oil can improve mood, de-escalate stress and promote calm. Ginger • A 2014 animal study demonstrated how mice who inhaled ginger, displayed less stress and less depressive qualities. Wild Orange The citrus scent of wild orange oil is known for being both uplifting and revitalizing. Aromatherapy with wild orange has been proven effective in those needing mood elevation. Other oils Studies have shown that both ylang-ylang oil https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/16807875/ (Please rename link ylang-ylang) and rose oil have calming and uplifting effects. Although essential oils are thought to relieve symptoms of depressed mood, they are not considered a cure. If you think someone is at risk of self-harm or hurting another person, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255. If you are with someone in immediate danger: • • • •
Call 911 or your local emergency number. Stay with the person until help arrives and stay calm. Remove any guns, knives, medications, or other things that may cause harm. Listen, but don’t judge, argue, threaten Tonya Gilbert GrowGurl.com
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