Heels Global Magazine Summer 2019 Edition

HEELS SUMMER 2019

GLOBAL MAGAZINE

Exposing the Reality Of Mental Illness

Shift From Business and Branding To Developing You

Victoria Borodinova www.poisk-ir.ru/design/portfolio/

The Editor's Notes

It is never too late to begin the process of life. I'm not talking about the life that we live day in and day out, but a life that is lived, living out your dreams. I have heard it say that dreams do die, but I have learned that they never die as long as there is still breath in our bodies, we have the ability to revive our hopes and dreams by simply making one small effort to begin the process.

Will it be easy, of course not. At nearly 60 years old, I feel as if I am beginning to live out my hopes and dreams in the way that I have always desired to do so. Not because anyone or anything has hindered me, but because I finally made the decision after years of vacillating to move towards my life's purpose without regrets, apologies and fear.

It is my hope and desire that you will take a chance, get up and go, and be all that you can be while you have the ability, the mind, the heart and the willingness to move forward. Don't allow others to discourage you and more so, don't allow your self to stop you because of fear of failure. Failure is simply a lesson learned; one that will show you the does and don'ts on your journey to purpose.

Live and never stop living. The world is waiting for you to get up and go!

Cheryl Jones-Ross Editor in Chief

Live life the way that it suits you

HEELS ON THE COVER Victoria Borodinova www.poisk-ir.ru/design/portfolio/

Editor in Chief Cheryl Jones-Ross

Assistant Editor in Chief Tyonna Singleton Assistant Editor Vivian Edmonds

Contributing Writers Theresa Baker Angela Christina Shelia V. Davis

Contents Summer 2019 Edition

7

Hair Me Out

13

Lazy or Really Balanced Brittny Ruth

17

Finding Your Style Shawna Solomon

21

Shift From Business and Branding to Developing You Cassandra Spearman

Mz Nikki

Tonya Riley Gilbert Brittny Ruth

24

Robin Sample Shawna Solomon Cassandra Spearman

27

Exposing the Reality Of Mental Illness Shelia V. Davis

Content To Change

Nicole Turner-Thomas Rev. Denise Wade

Staff Photographer Matthew Singleton SICQOGRAPHY Additional Photo Credits: RawPixels

28

Not My Plan, But God's Plan Robin Sample

30

I Choose Me Tonya Riley Gilbert

Feature Stories In This Issue

Finding Your Style Page 17

Exposing the Reality of Mental Illness Page 24

I Choose Me Page 30

ARE YOU RIDING OUT THIS LIFE, YOUR WAY? WE WANT TO HEAR YOUR STORY! CONTACT US BRTYCAPUBLISHING@GMAIL.COM

I See You Beautiful! *Song of Solomon 4 :7 You are altogether beautiful my darling, there is no flaw in you!

Sunflowers, dandelions, cookouts, waterparks, ice cream trucks, beaches, beautiful sunsets. All of these things are filled with so many gorgeous colors.

Besides 90 degree weather, that is one of my favorite things about summer time. I love seeing the colors go from the drab winter colors, to the bright beautiful Summer hues.

Summer: a reminder of fullness and grace, rest and beauty, sweetness, and abundance.

-Haley Gerth

Hair: Yes hunni, let's cut that hair in all this heat!

Lot's of women are heavy into wigs lately, which are fun, but you have those daring few (whom I love) that aren't afraid of the scissors!

Color and cuts are most amazing for a new summer look.

Browns and blondes are very popular colors for the summer. *Always make sure your color and cuts are done by a licensed beauty professional, in a licensed hair salon.* Also, under the dryer conditioning treatments are a must in this heat, whether you have a relaxer or are relaxer free.

I find doing a black coal face mask at least once a month to remove all the dirt and debris that we cant get with just regular cleansing.

Skin: I will always stress this because i have tried it and i know it to be true...WATER! WATER! WATER! If you can get down a gallon a day(which is not easy, but you can do it!) I cant say it enough all of the health benefits that you will achieve. The glow your skin obtains is unbelievable! The best skin regiment ever!

Also make sure you get that good moisturizer in every day. This heat can be brutal on our skin. *TIP-Doin these 2 little things

Go bold

Nails: Its summer! and brazing!

Bright oranges, pinks, greens, and blue...soft ombre.

French is also a winner.

I would love to answer any questions you may have concerning your beauty needs. Call or Text me at 412-828-6454

I am always open for Beauty questions. Feel free to email me at SHDBN06@gmail.com

I See U Beautiful ~Mz. Nikki

2343 Smallman St. Sola Salons Suite Mz Nikki 8a Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania Get Directions m.me/SophiscatedHairDesign Call (412) 828-6454

Going to the ends.

Where no one else goes. Because Jesus is alive in the hardest places to be a child.

Connect 1.888.511.6548 World Vision P.0. Box 9716 Federal Way, WA 98063

S S O R T S S I E ON ATEG OM J L R .C Y T E R S E IN E L H F C N LI O R E IN N A IN KP L A T S LET

Lazy or Really Balanced? *Yawn* Its day 26 of summer break. I’ve been on vacation a few times already. Some with my kids. Some without. I’ve slept-in at least 20 of these 26 days. And I’ve stayed up into the wee hours of the morning running out of things to watch. It is a teacher’s dream...well, THIS teacher’s dream. And I don’t feel guilty about it.

At the end of August two years ago after losing both my mom and sister to cancer just months prior, I relocated to a different state. From Pennsylvania to Maryland.

Here, I found a completely different way of life. Some good. Some bad. The cost of living was enough to rock my world but even that took a backseat to the different demands I faced in a different school system.

As fate would have it, I ended up in the school with a no nonsense principal. She was strict and grueling...on the staff. Before the sun rose, we were faced with a different email reminding us of our expectations as teachers, staff and educators. I went from teaching English and Reading, to now teaching Math as well. And I was failing. I had not thought about 4th grade Math...well since 4th grade. But, that wasn’t an excuse. We weren’t allowed an excuse. My principal did not (appear to) care that my mom was my first thought each morning when I opened my eyes and still there when I opened one of those dreaded emails. It wasn’t the focus that I was preparing to raise my deceased sister’s son, or that I had a daughter who was also the “new kid” to Maryland. Oh, how many days I was so close to packing us up to head back home prepared to walk away from education entirely.

The scores were the focus and there was no grace for anything else. Only to raise our students’ scores from the test they had taken at the beginning of the year against the test they’d take at the end of the year. No breaks. Fun days and parties at school were few and far between. Raise the scores! And not just raise them...but raise them by 10 percent. And not just 10 percent overall, 10 percent each. Each teacher was expected to educate to the point that their classroom scores be raised by 10 percent in Math and 10 percent in Reading.

I don’t know if I slept much my first year. I know that I worked. I didn’t have weekends, I had two days out of the week where I worked from home. My mind would not let me rest until everything on the “Staff List of Things To Do” that week were complete. A checklist full of lesson plans and anything else the week called for.

Often, my family would drive down to visit and I’d sit in my bedroom on my laptop working. My “After Hours Work” list was endless. Grading papers, then entering the grades into the grade-book, responding to parents’ demands and questions in a timely manner according to our code of conduct handbook, matching our state and county standards with my lessons, staying up late to teach myself first (in Math), so I could present it (well) to my class that week.

By the end of last year, the scores were raised and the goals were met, and I was burnt all the way out.

As a school, we had made true gains. Not just for the staff and teachers but for the students. At the close of the year, I realized that I gave my all and then some more, not for my principal, even though at the time it felt like it was for her but, for my students. And it worked. It worked so well that we were challenged to do it all again the following year. Raising the goal from 10 percent to 12 percent.

Seriously? *Eye roll* While doing this proved to be much more difficult; overall in the end of my second school year, our school had moved from a permanent place at the bottom of the list in the county to 3rd and 4th place in Reading and Math. I have become a better educator here. As fate would have it, it is because of that no nonsense, grueling principal with all her emails and expectations.

My true feelings about standardized tests aside; it’s what our system is requiring at the moment, and our job is to meet the requirements. *Shrug* And now, on day 26 of summer break, I see the looks of, “It must be nice” when non educators realize I am off from work for 2 1/2 months. If only they really knew. Then they’d understand why I have yet to read a book. Why I haven’t attended any educational workshops, haven’t taught a class. And why I’ve only thought about the decor of my classroom (that I’ll purchase with my own money) for the upcoming school year only a handful of times. They’d get why I don’t feel guilty about any of it.

For 26 days, I have stayed up with no crunch of a deadline for lessons, portfolios, grading, reflections, phone calls, or action plans. No early morning meetings or late meetings. No anxiety and I’m free from “most” of the worries of an educator. I even procrastinated in writing this! And I don’t feel guilty about it.

Granted, I am raising two children. And although the 12 year old would love to spend the 26 days and many more after on video games and iPad, and the 15 year old would rather binge watch Game of Thrones and Chicago PD while cooking a “summer” brunch each afternoon; we ARE going to do something “educational”.

The educator in me is on vacation. However, the mom in me knows better. I know my kids have not quite mastered the discipline of balance, that I’ve only recently learned myself.

You SHOULD show up, work hard, and give your best. You MUST be ever learning. Ready to greet the world each day, prepared to take it all in. However, when the opportunity comes for you to take a break...TAKE IT! Constantly reminding yourself how precious life and time is has to propel us to want to take pause and just enjoy life...in this moment.

For some, that enjoyment may come from reading a good book, taking a class, or continuing to work...even on their days off. For me, that enjoyment comes from the comfort of my own bed, the seat of an airplane, the last bite of a grilled burger, music in the park, the chlorine mixed with sunshine on my skin and the burning sand between my toes.

My kids think that sleep, video games and TV are the only enjoyment out there. I’m here to show them (and me...and maybe you if you needed the reminder) how to balance that out by way of dragging them to the pool, out of the hotel bed while on vacation and today...to the library. Otherwise, how else will they know if a good book brings them joy? Tomorrow, we may even dust off the bikes and go for a ride. And hopefully before the break wraps up, we can visit a museum...or two. But, if none of it happens that way or in that order, it’s ok. No obligation. No deadlines. Just a break. Just balance.

As fate would have it, for the next school year we get to pick the content area we want to teach...I went with Math.

If you’re looking for a reminder or permission to enjoy life while making memories. This is it.

The world will not always remember to treat you kindly. Take the time to be kind to yourself.

Happy Summer!

Brittny Ruth

MAKE THEM WONDER WHERE YOU GOT YOUR STYLE FROM

......SHHHHHH HEELS GLOBAL MAGAZINE OF COURSE!

Tired of opening your closet doing the closet stare, staring at the mirror with the same jeans you had on the last time you walked out the door? Time to find your own style!

“What you wear is how you present yourself to the world” Yes! Read that again! What you wear is how you are perceived. How do you want potential clients, significant others and even bosses to see you? How you are perceived can help or hinder your personal or professional goals. Ever see a mini skirt or low cut shirt walk into an interview? If you haven’t, take a quick moment and think about how you would judge (not intentionally) before she opened her mouth.

“Style”, because your personality is not the first thing they see…

No worries, that nonsense stops here.So, how do you find your own unique style you ask? There are a few ways to find your own style while staying in your comfort zone. The goal is to understand your body and personality. Knowing what you like and what will work with what you like. ❏ Know Your Body Type. Knowing your body type will make sure you pick pieces to compliment areas you love and hide area you don’t ❏ The five main body types are ❏ Pear (large hips, legs, smaller on top) ❏ Apple ( weight in the mid section, no defined waist, average on top) ❏ Rectangle (hips aligned with shoulders, no curves, smaller top) ❏ Hourglass (defined waist, hips and bust larger, curves) ❏ Introverted triangle (large top, smaller bottom, no-small hips) ❏ Understand your personality. Knowing AND understanding your personality will assist you in making sure you create looks for you.

What works for my personality would work for yours. I’m usually over the top, dramatic and edgy..my looks represent that. ❏ Write down some words describing your personality.

Consider what others would say. ❏ How would you describe your personality style? Which one is more you? Be honest. ❏ Classic ❏ Trendy ❏ Street ❏ Corporate ❏ Boho

❏ Color Inspiration.

Colors affect how you feel and can be read in your style. Do you like bold statement colors or softer,earthly colors? Determine which colors represent you.

Colors have a major effect on you and how you feel. What colors make you happy or give you confidence. Depending on what I have planned for the day, determines what color I’m wearing.

When attending meetings and I want to be acknowledged, I’ll wear something red or pink.

Red can also be intimidating, be careful with that. ❏ Pinterest. Create a board on Pinterest of looks you like. You should start to see a trend of your likes and dislikes. Go back to knowing your personality and be honest with yourself with the looks chosen. ❏ Closet Detox. Get rid of stuff you don’t like in your own closet. Why are you holding on to it? You can use it for your Style Upgrade! ❏ Size Matters. Doesn’t matter how big or small you are. Wearing the right size will guarantee you will look good it that piece. Buying the wrong size creates muffin tops and bulging breast. Don’t Do It! ❏ Document. Take photos of looks when you feel great! You can late go back and see which looks you loved and why ❏ Identify What Works. Did you try something new and felt like a boss? Did you stick to a classic look or did you opt for edgy? What was the material? Brand? Color? How comfortable did you feel.

Take note, you’re coming into your own style. You’ll also need these notes when its time to go shopping. ❏ The Basics. See if you have any of the basics from your closet detox and Pinterest board to complete your new wardrobe. ❏ Complete. No outfit is complete without accessories. Regardless if you opt for statement pieces, a belt or just glasses. You need that one piece to bring it all together.

Finding your style should be exciting and fun, the moment you start stressing about it, its to much.

Enjoy each step and finding YOUR style. You will be comfortable and confident and ready to conquer the world when you do!

Basic Wardrobe Essentials Checklist How does your wardrobe measure up?

Do you have the basic foundation for the perfect looks? These basics will surely get you started. Adding to basic pieces will have you on your way to wardrobe with your personal style and comfort. ● Black Pants ○ Black pants can be put together with just about anything.

Guarantee, you will always have something to wear with a nice pair of black slacks and black denim. ● Perfect Blazer ○ Personally, I prefer color fitted blazers, however this can be your preference.

Having a go to blazer at all times will save you from running to the mall last minute to find one when needed. Believe me, you will need one. ● Leather Jacket ○ Motorcycle jackets are versatile and can be worn with oversized button ups or quoted t-shirts. ● Button Up Shirt ○ Everyone needs at least one button up. Colors preferred, white, black and one of your favorite colors ● Classic Leather Belt ○ You can go the classic route with a simple buckle or you can take it one step further with interchangeable buckles. My favorites are designer belts(Louboutin, Chanel,etc) Once you invest in one good one, You’ll have it for awhile. ● Diamond Stud Earrings ○ Must have...no explanation needed. Size based on your comfort. ● Pair of Nice Jeans ○ Those jeans that boost your confidence, make you look slim or just eel good.

Yes! Those. Once you find the ones that work for you and your body type, invest in them.

● Flats ○ Those times when we are running errands, working or just don’t feel like wearing heels.

Make sure you have a stylish pair of flats to save your day. ● Strappy Sandals ○ Something about the strappy sandal that brings out the confidence in you. I have some in every color, just in case.

● Quoted Tee ○ Love, love quotes tees! Now you see them being paired with maxi skirts, jeans with a bad heel. Make sure you have a few you can go to. ● Denim Jacket ○ My absolute fav!! Denim jackets can be worn over sundresses, tshirts, buttons ups, and just about anything. Don’t worry, denims don’t have to match. ● Little Black Dress ○ Just that one! Fitted, flared, maxi or mini. You need that one little black dress! ● Print Scarf ○ Scarves can be used to add spice to any look. Use as a headwrap, belt and if big enough, shirts and/or cover ups ● Fashionable Sunglasses ○ Another favorite! Regardless of the style or shape, Having a pair of fashionable shades will complete any look.

Of course there can be more but with these basics,Your wardrobe is off to the right start!

Tip: Swap pieces based on the season

Shawna Solomon, “Style Mother” Fashion Entrepreneur, Image Consultant www.styledbyshawna.com

Shift: From Business and Branding to Developing YOU

Build, Brand, Create, Execute, Innovate, Launch, Leverage, Market and Sell. These are words we’ve all come to know, love and sometimes dread. They are also some of the most costly and pressure filled words in our world today. Entrepreneurship along with coaching and consulting is big business. The pressure to be more and do more is causing us to create more, as well as perform out of character.

Leaving many people empty, isolated, confused and frustrated because they don’t know where to start, what to do or how to stay relevant in a world that only captures the up side of life. With those types of symptoms, it’s hard to consistently brand and build your business without first Developing YOU. No one develops without a proper Vision. The problem with Vision is that most people think the vision is outside of them. This is why people consistently create a vision for their businesses, but fail to create and develop a vision for their lives.

However, the bible says “write the vision and make it plain so that those who read it, may run with it” This is proof that the vision is built in, meaning, it’s engraved in our hearts, etched in our minds and planted in our souls. It’s the standard, so no matter what happens in our lives, that vision remains and leads us to significance.

Glimpses(snippets) As we grow and develop the vision presents itself to us in glimpses. Those glimpses are your edge to stay relevant and ahead of the game. They provide you with a lane that is all yours, by showing you Who You Are Not, and Qualifying Your Existence.

In an ideal situation, you put the glimpses together and create a life that continually puts you on center stage and in the winner’s circle.

The problem that most of face, is that we dimiss the glimpses. This keeps us at a disadvantage and we then continue to live life by watching, learning and observing what everyone else is doing. When we should be taking cues from the roadmap within.

Blindspots We all have beliefs and experiences that block our point of view. This keeps us locked into a perception that is based on the perspective of others. The problem with this is, you can’t fix what can’t be seen or acknowledge and articulate what doesn’t appear to be there in the first place..

Every blindspot you have is costing you yourself worth because you know something is wrong, but you’re unable to properly see the problem that’s creating a harmful situation in your life. This is why it’s important to get silent and listen from a place within where blindspots don’t exist to gain clarity.

Taking the journey to expose the hidden treasures inside yourself...........

Identity Everything begins and ends with a vision. You never have to look outside of yourself to experience or explore the possibilities of you are becoming.

The missing link to who you are can only be found in moments of silence. Those moments of connecting with your inner being allow you to unlock your potential, regain your power and create new possibilities for yourself. If you are still missing the mark in your life, it’s likely that you have become accustomed to surrounding yourself with noise for fear of missing out on something or someone. The Reality, the only thing you're missing out on, is yourself. If this sounds like you, I encourage you to seek silence and restore your vision.

Clarity Taking the journey to expose the hidden treasures inside yourself require a level of vulnerability that most people aren’t willing to embrace. However, if you never take to the journey to find yourself, you'll never get what you came for.

Clarity is the awareness of your authentic self in action. It’s the place where you finally get to live out the glimpses that your vision provided. The place where you get to present everything you have to offer. It’s that balance of who you are and what you do.. It’s the place where all the little things that didn’t add up on paper begin to come together to form a united front and finally it’s the place that cancels out all your dysfunctions.

Final Words There are many steps to developing You. Finding your way from average to extraordinary requires you to take a shot. Don’t limit yourself because of lack of time, and money. In today’s world, all you need is information to get started. No one has ever become better without going through the struggle of choosing, deciding and believing.

Cassandra Spearman

WEOP was founded in 2011, by Patricia Sallie. Pat started WEOP with the objective of networking, supporting and educating. In, 2011, she began bringing women business owners together who could relate to one another, professionally and personally. Her love for others is extraordinary. Just be in a room with her..You'll know exactly what I'm speaking of. She has worked in the medical field exuding that same love to patients at West Penn Hospital & LifeCare, she is also Senior Manager with Legal Shield.

Exposing The Reality Of Mental Illness In May 1949, the National Association for Mental Health started Mental Health Awareness Month in the United States. The purpose of Mental Health Month is to educate and raise awareness of the 18.1% of Americans that suffer with various mental health diagnosis and to reduce the stigma associated to mental illness.

“Mental Health Illness or Mental Health Disorder” carries a negative connotation causing many individuals with the diagnosis to suffer in silence. The National Institute of Mental Health status estimates suggest that only half of people with mental illness receives treatment. Mental health issues, like many medical issues, has no respect of age, race, gender, educational status, or financial status. Experts say we all have the potential to develop mental health problems. Half of all lifetime mental health conditions manifest by the age of 14 and 75% by age 24. In much of the developed world, mental disorders are one of the leading causes of disability. In the United States, one in five adults; lives with a mental health condition, and approximately 10 million adults with a serious mental illness diagnosis.

In order to get a grasp on Mental Illness let’s first get a definition of what is Mental Health.

According to the WHO (World Health Organization), MENTAL HEALTH “Is a state of well-being in which the individual realizes his or her own abilities, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to contribute to his or her community.”

As you review the above definition on Mental Health, it should become obvious that almost everyone will experience an episode of MENTAL ILLNESS or MENTAL DISORDER at some time in their life. The root definition of mental illness could be expressed as when an individual loses the ability to adequately function resulting in temporary or permanent lack of productivity.

Some of the most common types of mental health problems are anxiety disorder, mood disorder, and schizophrenia disorder. Anxiety disorder is the most common of the three disorders. Within the anxiety disorder are found panic disorder, phobias, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and posttraumatic stress disorder. Under the mood disorder are found depression, persistent depressive disorder, bipolar disorder and seasonal affective disorder.

A quick glance of the three most common types of mental health problems shows why I stated earlier everyone will experience a mental health disorder some time in their life.

The mental illness problem does not totally lie in the diagnosis as much as within the individual’s reaction and handling of the problem. Because of the stigma connected to mental illness, many people will refuse to seek help or if receiving treatment will attempt to hide their participation in treatment. This reaction is more a result of the reaction of others to a person’s illness.

As we educate ourselves to the mental illness field, we should also educate ourselves to the affect the diagnosis has on individuals and in educating ourselves become more sensitive to the feelings of that individual. I remember the sting of being shut down one time as I tried to express the pain and numbness of the period of depression I was experiencing.

People with mental health diagnosis need to feel open to reach out verbally and emotionally without feeling minimized or insignificant. Once a person is shut down or made to feel unimportant, that person will be less like to open again. We must remember mental illness is like other illnesses; something that can be treated, and it is not something that defines an individual. People with mental health diagnosis are beginning to speak out from every arena: actor/actress, athletes, legal, and yes even preachers of the gospel are now admitting to struggles with mental disorder issues.

We must recognize the need to help those reaching out for reconnection. This illness, in most cases, is not a result of the person’s personal behavior/choices, but due to something usually beyond their control. Let’s not through ignorance, be guilty of inflecting additional pain to those already suffering in silence We can SEE them now or VIEW them later!

CROSSROADS YOU GOT ME GOING IN CIRCLES…BUT I’M NOT SINGING A SONG I’LL TRY TO HOLD ON…BUT I DON’T KNOW HOW LONG I NEED TO HEAR FROM…JUST ONE KIND VOICE REASSURING ME…THAT LIFE’S A BETTER CHOICE I’VE BEEN PRESENTED THIS TICKET…FOR A FREE RIDE THE JOURNEY IS SHORT…TO THE DARK SIDE THERE’S MORE PEOPLE ON BOARD…THEN I THOUGH THERE WOULD BE THEY’RE ALL ASKING HOW…COULD THIS HAPPEN TO ME SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME…PLEASE NOTICE MY CHANGE YOU NO LONGER HEAR MY LAUGHTER…I’VE BEEN ACTING STRANGE I’VE BEEN IN THIS DARK PLACE…FOR A VERY LONG TIME SOMEBODY GRAB ME…PEASE HELP ME UNWIND.

Shelia V. Davis

www.macedoniapgh.org

Content to Change We often forget that complacency and contentment walk hand in hand. We ponder how exactly they are similar and when truly defined do the weight of their meanings change depending on the circumstances? If after all of the hard work, effort, resources and time invested in “It”, “Them” or “Us” we find ourselves slowly sipping from a cup of despair, are we allowed to ditch the brew, throwing it and the entire kitchen sink out and start anew? Or, will we allow the guilt of self-disappointment to force us to keep the pot hot and settle for pouring ourselves a matching cup of grief?

We seem to always convince ourselves that throwing in a few lumps of sugar will make “things” go down a little easier. Yet, ingesting sugarcoated bitterness, forever guarantees that we are left sour on the inside.

As much as we may want to fight or deny it we must come face to face with our “ Fictional contents.” There are times where it may be manageable to handle a bit of hardship or reasonable compromise with understanding and a bit of grace. Nevertheless, we must always challenge ourselves to push past complacency and experience true content (peace & happiness)even if it means embracing the discomfort of change.

Affirmations: Content to Change Bold: God, help me to be honest with myself in all things.

Blessed: Lord, guide me so that I am a reflection of what you crafted me to be.

Bossy: God, help me to welcome the change needed to push through to my purpose.

Writer, Angela Christina www.BoldBlessedBossy.com @BoldBlessedBossy

Not My Plan But..... God's Plan

It’s funny how the very thing you find yourself running from becomes the very thing you find yourself running to. Life…it’s truly a funny thing. In my first book, ‘When I Stopped Being Angry with God’, I tell you how I fought tooth and nail to avoid church or anything that represented God in any way because I was just so angry with Him. Well, after 31 years of running and fighting, I got tired and I stopped running and I stopped fighting and everything I do, everything I say, everything I plan for my life, begins with God and ends with God. Funny isn’t it? The good news is, God did run to me and fight for me while I was running from Him and fighting Him. Just like the gentleman that He is, he was with me every single day of those 31 years, keeping His loving eyes upon me and His strong arms around me, protecting me from dangers, seen and unseen, guiding me through each and every trial, tribulation and storm, and when I became weary and felt like giving up, He carried me. And the best part is, I never asked Him to be with me, hold me, or carry me, He did it simply because He loves me, even though I didn’t show Him that I loved Him. I am so richly blessed to be here to share my testimony with you because had my fate been up to man, I probably would have died a long time ago because I don’t know too many men (people) who would have stood by my side throughout all of my mess and continue to take care of me and bless me the way God did, well, at least not without eventually giving up on me. I like to call those 31 years my gift of unmerited favor.

I have learned so much about life, the world, myself, everything, since I have grown in my spiritual walk and have strengthened my relationship with God. Life has continued to happen to me over the years, but the way I have dealt with it is completely different from how I used to deal with life as it happened in the past. I no longer plan an attack against whatever/whoever comes up against me, I pray and ask God to help me understand the things in which I don’t and I ask Him to give me the tools to help me work on the things that are in my ability to work on, and I ask Him to give me the patience to wait for Him to take care of those things in which I have no control over.

I have found such an amazing sense of peace since I have adopted this new mindset and approach to life. Now, please don’t mistake me, I do get upset, even angry sometimes, because I am still human; however, I have learned how to channel my anger and other counterproductive emotions in a more productive and effective manner. That’s the key to learning how to deal with life, it begins with a change in our mindset. There is no magic wand, no miracle powers, no secret words, just a change in our mindset, which means, all change begins with us.

One simple key, change, the key that unlocked the door to an indescribable sense of peace, an unexplainable sense of joy and an overwhelming amount of happiness that only God can provide.

I wish I had learned this a long time ago. Perhaps, I would have bypassed all of the hurt, pain, heartache, turmoil and trauma I suffered throughout the course of my life. But had I bypassed all of that, I wouldn’t be living out my dream and my passion of counseling and advocating for victims of domestic violence. I look at my life way back then and I see this broken, wounded and scarred little girl, who everyone said was useless and wouldn’t amount to anything. The sad thing is, for years, I believed those words because I couldn’t see anything more in myself than what other people saw.

But today, as I help victims of domestic violence take the steps to begin their journey of moving from victim to survivor of domestic violence, I feel like my suffering was not in vain. All things work together for our good when we have faith and believe in God and my life is proof positive that regardless of how difficult life gets, God has a plan that we know nothing about until if comes to fruition right before our eyes!

Every day I sit across from women who are crying out for help to leave an abusive relationship, listening to them tell me how they have lost themselves, how they don’t even recognize themselves anymore, how they don’t realize how they allowed themselves to be in such a horrible situation….and the how did I…how could I lists go on and on. As I listen to them pour their hearts out to me, I hear my own cries from way back when, asking myself those very same questions, and wondering if I would ever be free. Now, today, 15 years after I was blessed to walk away with my life, from my last abusive relationship, I give God praise, honor and glory for using me to share my testimony of how He saved me so many years ago!

If you or someone you know is a victim of Domestic Violence, take the first step to stop it in its tracks. You can start by calling the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1 (800) 799-7233 (SAFE) or 1 (800) 787-3224 (TTY), or www.thehotline.org, where support services are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year, including weekends and holidays.

Robin Sample

I Choose Me How many times have you heard that we are spiritual beings having a temporary human experience? I personally have heard this phrase countless times before: at church, in women’s fellowship meetings, on TV and even at marriage workshops. This truth became painfully clear while working as a medical provider at a job that was neither serving my family nor myself. As a matter of fact, the position simply brought the worst out of me. I was worn down, ineffective, and visibly unhappy. I tried everything naturally and spiritually to shift the weight of the burden. Still, it seemed to be more than I could bear.

One day, I picked up a book on my shelf written by Denise Riley. Even though I had read it before, I was drawn to pick it up again, but I didn’t know where I was going to start; at the beginning, in the middle, or simply just pick a chapter and begin reading. The title on the cover, however, jumped off the page! “Love and Love First”.

Immediately, I stopped. This was my epiphany! How can I take care of anything or anyone, if I’m not taking care of myself? Further along in the book, it said “Wellness begins in you”. I had just talked with my doctor and close friends and family about starting a wellness journey. I had already began exercising and eating less and eating clean with a goal to keep my body in an alkaline state. I had been on this journey for several months when it hit me. “The reason my job has become a burden and I less effective, was because my job had been in direct opposition to my wellness goals. Here are just a few events that followed.

First, as part of my wellness journey, I had already declared that I would go to bed earlier and prepare myself for bedtime. This meant to turn off all distractions and put phones on silent. It also meant to put on pajamas. I was going to make “self-care” my top priority. Unfortunately, when working long hours, this goal was nearly impossible. I was working 7 days straight, 12 hours a day.

Then I would have 3-4 days off and repeat. Getting up early to exercise was difficult because I had not had adequate sleep. Exercising in the evenings was during the hours of dinner, homework and family time. It became a source of frustration and in that moment, after many, many years, I felt a need to make a bold decision.

The choices were: 1. Me or 2. My job. Choosing me was to choose wellness. Choosing my job meant I would remain in a cycle of “burnout” and declining health.

Then I began reflecting often on the nature of my work. I traveled. I rarely had a home cooked meal anymore and I spent an awful lot of time in my car. The fruit I took along would spoil if not refrigerated right away and my hot food would get cold too fast. Store bought smoothies were expensive and weren’t as good as mine

bruce mars

I didn’t grocery shop because hotel refrigerators were simply too small and sitting at restaurants waiting for food was very time-consuming. Needless to say, looking for healthy options was a bear.

The last straw for me was when my blood pressure started creeping up. One day I became very hot while working and developed a pain in my neck. I asked a nurse nearby if she would check my blood pressure. Sure enough my blood pressure was 165/90. My usual blood pressure at the time was 110/70. It was on this day that I decided I would find a new job and take my life back. I went home and told my husband, “I choose me”. I refused to die prematurely as so many of my elders had already done. Within 2 weeks, I gave my employer 2 weeks’ notice and resigned. My blood pressure was back to normal as well. The beautiful thing that resulted from choosing me was I had a job lined up within that 2-week period and I got my “HAPPY” and my “HEALTH” back.

These valuable lessons I also learned: • Self-Care is paramount to my overall health • Sickness is directly linked to my lifestyle choices • Wellness begins in me I challenge you to begin your own wellness journey by first loving yourself. Love yourself enough to refuse to be sick, tired or abused. Live, instead of wearing yourself out making a living.

Look in the mirror and say, “I CHOOSE ME”. Give yourself permission to say “no” because that often means you are saying yes to yourself. Sleep more, eat less and always know when its time to make a bold decision. You are worth it, whatever it is!

Tonya Gilbert GrowGurl.com

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