a hellinconverses zine(?)
things I picked up from fanfiction
so I found some old, old fics in a 2009 desk computer a while ago and as I read through them I realized how much of me, of stuff I say and think and do came from fanfics. so I decided to make this little thing, I’m saying it’a a zine but whatever.
things I’ve reapeated for the last 10 years* *mostly in my head “orgasms are wonderful sleeping aids” using ‘taire to refer to Grantaire and Enj for Enjolras using ‘tasha to refer to Natasha liberté, egalité, beyoncé the words delirious, glorious, delectable and divine “I’m about to have an aneurysm” (which hasn’t been around for 10 years but it easily could have) “Maybe he’s just getting senile.”
liking the band fun. dude, there was this author, his tumblr url was batty4u, he wrote an Avengers College AU that build at least 1/3 of my personality and one day he posted barlights by fun as a song that described Clint, Tony and I am trying really hard to remember what was the other pairing he wrote on that fic. it was from back when people shipped Clint and Bruce, CALL ME FUCKING OLD.
once I read a fic where Jehan Prouvaire wore green eyeliner and I don’t know why but I always pictured Jehan wearing a lot of bubblegum pink, then proceeded to wear green eyeliner and light pink nail polish to school for months. I almost bought pink Converse hightops too but I ended up buying forest green ones because of Grantaire.
daisies “What happened to your soulmate, Harry?”
and I’d choose you a the next day and the wonderful, and I’m n Harry lets out a shuttering laugh, “We’ve some potential future never met. I’m fifty four and we’ve never no, if you tell me to— met.” self, stops the warble points an accusing fi Eggsy hurts, from the story behind those “to go. Then that’s on words and the pain in Harry voice, raw and mark that makes tha unguarded, “would you—if your soulmaI—I don’t care if you h te showed up, would you stop loving me? fucking daisies Harry Would you walk away?” Harry’s expression ch “Eggsy,” Harry looks fractured, “you have curl inward halts and a chance, a chance at a real life with your like the world is new. soulmate. I—I don’t.” “Harry, what—” Eggsy fights against that, against Harry speaking of himself in such a way, doesn’t And then Harry’s goi he know what a man he is? How his nobi- undoing his suit jack lity of character bleeds into the world and shirt with fumbling (H makes it better, even just a little. gers. Once he’s pulle pushing up his unde “Harry,” Eggsy lets go of his hands, he chest, right over his h doesn’t want to squeeze them too hard, been pointing, is his and hates how Harry lets them fall limp at his sides, how he looks like Eggsy the one A delicate bunch of d who’s going to leave him, “I don’t care—I with a blue ribbon. don’t care about soulmates, I choose you,
again tomorrow and e next. We could be not going to let some— e ruin that. If you say —” Eggsy catches hime in his voice, and inger at Harry’s chest n you. It’s not the soul at decision, it’s you and have a-a bouquet of y, you—”
hanges, that continual d Harry looks at Eggsy w.
ing at his own buttons, ket and then the dress Harry, fumbling) fined the sides apart, he’s ershirt and there on his heart where Eggsy’d soul mark.
daisies tied together
I have daisies hand painted on my bedroom wall because of this scene. Link to the fic:
wanting to be good and obsessed with my “job”
She hums as his hands find her bare back, roaming up and down her spine. “Do you enjoy it?” “Yes.” The answer’s immediate. “I love my job.” “Even with the amount of stress it causes you?” she asks, hands finding his face and running her thumbs under the dark circles under his eyes that seem to be a permanent fixture on his sharp face. “Even then,” he replies. “Nobody can do what I do without committing suicide within a year.” “That’s morbid,” she mutters. “It’s true.”
Link to the fic:
Link to the blog:
ever since I read this fic I 1) started a blog to talk about fashion (I have adegree in fashion design?) and popculture 2) started looking for something I can be as good and obsessed with as Kylo Ren Editor Chief was with his magazine, it woke up ambitions I didn’t know I had.
“She closes her eyes, breathing in the musk of his cologne. She can’t remember which one it is, some Tom Ford something. She remembers seeing it on the desk in Paris. Fuck, she’s missed it. Missed smelling it on his skin and not just his suits.”
Link to the fic:
tom ford fragrances see I already loved tom ford things because of the lips&boys collection and also because it’s known in the Colin Firth fandom that he wears Grey Vetiver by Tom Ford, which became my daytime perfume, but after this author wrote NOIR DE NOIR as Kylo’s perfume, it sealed the deal, my nose has never been the same.
getting drunk on it’s about Grantaire from Les Mis, I spent most of my teenage years reading about my baby getting drunk on wine because of Enjolras, I don’t have a specific fic because he is canonically a drunk baby so basically most of them mentioned it back in the day. when I’m in the mood for wine, I will drink from the bottle and I will walk around the party holding it.
the tas
not exactly becau a hartwin playlist was my downfall
love jack honey to
n wine
ste for jack honey
use of a fic, but it’s because of a playlist so I’m counting it. there’s t on spotify that contains the song > american honey by borns < it in my 21st birthday.
o this day and can’t help but think of Eggsy.
Link to the playlist:
*
ky c i p y r e v being oo p m a h s y about m these ar e * you probably noticed Snow Fairy is a shower gel, it didn’t stop me using it to wash my hair every now and then.
correlate
I don’t have the fic aro I read a supernatural I’ve thought about it e
d becau se i started u n the search for b sing che rry scen ub ted sh
silk washcloths I read a fic where Harry was a sociopath once and it made me want fancy washcloths.
Link to the fic:
ound anymore to show the exact passage, but when I was 12, fic where sam used tutti-frutti shampoo to wash his hair and everytime I bought shampoo for myself ever since. I’m 22.
bblegum sc hampoo ented shampoo I
cherr y fl avoured stuff in g eneral
I don’t remember exactly but I am pretty sure I picked this up full force in the MCR fandom, frerard (not proud) or Danger Days fics, or something like that. there’s also a fic I read recently that made me buy cherry flavoured chapstick.
“Trust me, Peter, it’ll work. Now hold still ,” she carefully smears gloss over his lips. It smells sweet and faintly fruity, and when she pulls back and Peter runs his tongue over it, curious, it tastes like cherries.
Link to the fic:
saying I’d k
if you read reylo and ne saying he’d kill for som then IDK what fics you’
started saying it as a jo away and it became a v saying I really want som coffee or new shoes.
kill for stuff
ever came across Kylo mething, usually Rey, ’ve been reading.
oke but it never went very dramatic way of mething like an iced
Link to the fic:
drinking spiked earl grey I am pretty sure it was from this fic but I can’t find it in the fic, whatever, earl grey and whisky were made for each other.
the song cherry wine by hozier
Link to the fic: