Village Eye Mortimer/Burghfield/Theale/Tadley Issue

Page 14

What it’s really like to be

BRITISH eye Giggles

UR IF YOU DON’T NOD YO

HEAD AND SAY “Y

TRAVEL

• Worrying you’ve accidentally packed 3 kilos of cocaine and a dead goat as you stroll through “Nothing to declare”. • Being sure to start touching your bag 15 minutes before your station, so the person in the aisle seat is fully prepared for your exit. • “Sorry, is anyone sitting here?” – Translation: Unless this is a person who looks remarkably like a bag, I suggest you move it. • Repeatedly pressing the door button on the train before it’s illuminated, to assure your fellow commuters you have the situation in hand. • Saying “anywhere here’s fine” when the taxi’s directly outside your front door.

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. THE CHANCES ARE EP’, I’VE DONE THAT..

THE SHOPS

H!

- YOU’RE NOT BRITIS

rglar and d like a bu n u ro a g in reep in. op, then c them aga iend in a shan to avoid seeing fr a to llo e e exact • Saying h hind anything you c ing with th th e m e so b r g fo hidin ying e after pa on to leav si is rm e p r fo out saying • Waiting ange with h c t . c e g xa n e a ch the ething with pay for som to le b a n • Being u at’s right”. to assure “I think th cashpoint, the wait is e th t a rs e and r fing for money pping you • Loudly ta e that you’ve asked the queu hands. r y enters out of you one nearb neck. e m so s a your iolently away so v lly dislocate • Looking that you accidenta their PIN


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