Dealing with loss and loneliness at the holidays

How to cope with a sense of loss during the holidays

written by ROBIN MORRIS

LICENSED CLINICAL SOCIAL WORKER BROOK LANE HEALTH SERVICES

The 2020 holiday season is approaching and likely will be very different this year due to the COVID-19 pandemic.

Family gatherings might be limited, with less travel and the addition of social distancing. Public events, concerts and worship services might look different, if they happen at all.

These changes could result in a sense of loss for some people. Others might experience a swell of grief during the holidays due to the loss of loved ones and friends. Family and togetherness are key themes for the holiday season, which can make this time of year difficult for people who are grieving. Such stressors can make it challenging to cope.

Here are some strategies to better deal with the feelings of loss you might experience this holiday season: Don’t make comparisons

Remind yourself that the holidays are stressful for everyone, and they are rarely the magical gatherings depicted on greeting cards, social media and television. Try to embrace what you have, rather than compare yourself and/or your circumstancesto what you think others have. Set healthy boundaries

You don’t have to force yourself to face every holiday event or celebratory tradition. Others might try to convince you to participate, but you don’t have to try to please everyone. When speaking with others about your wishes not to participate, stay focused on your goal to protect your peace of mind. Be kind to yourself

It’s important to get the rest and nourishment you need and try not to take on more than you can handle. If you need to be alone, then honor that. If you crave the company or affection of others, seek it out, while being mindful of what is best for your well-being. Offer yourself some grace

One of the best things you can do is give yourself permission to feel whatever it is you are feeling. Try not to fall prey to the belief that you have to feel a certain way or do certain things in order to make the holiday “normal.” The

holidays can bring a wide range of emotions; you might feel joy, guilt and sadness, all within a few minutes. Trust that grief is part of healing

Grief is the process by which we heal. Experiencing the pain, rather than constantly trying to escape it, can actually help you feel better in the long run. It might be tempting to numb the pain with mood-altering substances, such as alcohol, but that will only prolong the anguish. Create new traditions

It’s OK to get creative and do something a little out of the ordinary. You also can alter old traditions to make them fit into your life. Do something kind for others

Performing random acts of kindness can be uplifting for anyone experiencing a loss. Ask for help

Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you are struggling. Reminding loved ones that you are having a rough time might be enough. You also can reach out for more assistance from support groups or contact a mental-health professional.— Places

Create new traditions.

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