Defusing Anxiety

DEFUSING ANXIETY & NEGATIVITY, Why Gratitude Is Key

Each year we say the next one will be different. But when life is packed with stressful obligations is it really possible to be content and happy? Yes, says Frank Kilpatrick—and it has less to with your circumstances than how you view them. Here's how to shift to a mindset of gratitude.

We all want to feel happy and productive. But here's the Catch 22: the things we do to try to feel that way—working long hours, rushing kids from one activity to the other and meeting all of life's obligations—can leave us feeling stressed, anxious and even resentful (and that's not counting the complications that spring up). Oftentimes, we find ourselves thinking: What's the point of all this hard work if I can't enjoy my life?

Frank Kilpatrick, producer of the new musical and visual meditation series, “Gratitude,” says we can feel contentment (and yes, happiness!) even when life is at its most chaotic. It comes not from trying to control your circumstances (which isn't always possible) but from shifting how you look at them. "I love the saying 'Gratitude doesn't change things for you, it changes you for things,’” said Kilpatrick. "When we can learn to come from a place of gratitude, we see things differently. There's a mindset shift that brings peace." In other words, instead of dreading a tough project at work, we feel gratitude for our job. Instead of feeling stressed about taking our aging mother to the doctor, we're grateful to be able to spend the afternoon with her. Kilpatrick and his colleagues, Grammy-winner Alex Wand and composer/vocalist Rayko, are on a mission to fill the world with gratitude. Their meditation series combines unique "microtonal" music, vocals, visuals and on-screen lyrical messages that will surely keep your attention. It is designed to help train the brain for gratitude and inner peace. This focus stems from their work on the “Stay Alive” video/ podcast documentary and is a central part of their strategy for supporting at-risk populations. The documentary couples global musical material from eclectic spiritual disciplines and non-religious sources with mystical microtonal arrangements, beautiful vocals, binaural beats and enchanting visuals with affirming on-screen lyrical messages.

Kilpatrick explained that you can't just flip a switch and automatically become grateful, because gratitude evolves over time. It's about building small, daily habits into your routine— and the new year is the perfect time to start. Here are a few simple tips from him on how to begin to develop a more grateful attitude:

MAKE ROOM IN YOUR LIFE FOR GRATITUDE Often, Fear of Missing Out drives us to stretch ourselves too thin. It's hard to feel grateful when you are overcommitted. Know that it's totally okay to turn down invitations if you don't feel like being around others or to spend the weekend recharging. In fact, immersing yourself in the “Gratitude” meditation series is a great way to utilize your free time once you cut back on all the going and doing. "The “Gratitude” program can be an alternative to giving in to the toxic phenomenon of FOMO," said Kilpatrick. "When people remove what they've been conditioned to see as a 'reward' they may feel empty, as if something is lacking. This program is a great replacement. It's fine to feel grateful for friends and opportunities, but we need to feel grateful for quiet moments and downtime as well."

PREPARE YOUR MIND It's important to make time for meditation or contemplation. Think of this as strength training for your mind. At first it might seem difficult to find the time, but it teaches you to be relaxed and centered, which are vital life skills. Over time, it will get easier and easier to drop into a space of quiet contentedness where gratitude is abundant. "Mind training" should be a part of your daily health routine, like brushing your teeth or stretching. But also, get into the habit of grabbing opportunities to meditate—like when you're getting ready for your day or waiting for your child at soccer practice. "There are very real advantages to this type of mind training," said Kilpatrick. "It helps you stay in a state of gratitude, which enables you to feel peace. It keeps you in the present moment, which is an incredibly powerful technique for keeping anxiety and depression at bay."

MAKE MIND TRAINING A PART OF YOUR SELF-CARE ROUTINE People tend to think of self-care in terms of diet, exercise and even sleep, but we often ignore what we put into our minds and ruminate on. This is a mistake. Getting intentional about what we watch, listen to and infuse into our consciousness is just as important. The matters that we focus on shape our mental state, impact our relationships and influence the choices we make. "Stop allowing junk food into your consciousness," said Kilpatrick. "We should monitor our cognitive input in the same way we regulate our intake of fats, carbs and calories. What you're doing is intentionally creating the best version of yourself."

FOCUS ON THE SMALL THINGS There are plenty of things you can (and should) be grateful for in life's simple moments: a hot cup of coffee, toasty sheets fresh from the dryer on a cold evening, a catchup phone call from a dear old friend, the smell of a delicious dinner wafting from the kitchen and the look of wonder in your toddler's eyes when they see the first snowfall of the year. Just start paying attention and let yourself feel the wonderment.

SAY "THANK YOU" (AND REALLY MEAN IT) When someone does something kind for you, recognize it with a sincere "thank you." Be specific about why what they did matters. This helps you mean it, which is important; mindless "thank you’s" don't count. Recognition, even in small doses, makes others feel great, but it also gives you a boost of joy. And it exercises those gratitude muscles.

MANAGE YOUR EXPECTATIONS Real life doesn't look like a Norman Rockwell painting and your home most likely will never look like a spread in “Better Homes and Gardens.” Parents get old. Kids get bad grades. Tempers flare from time to time. Even during a wonderful meal with family and friends, someone might get sick, make a judgmental comment, or burst into tears during the salad course. That's life. It's messy and complicated...and beautiful. "It's hard to be grateful and focused on perfection at the same time," said Kilpatrick. "Keep in mind that even best-laid plans seldom go off without a hitch. Remember to savor the good moments and seek out loving feelings toward your friends and families. Find the love in every situation."

SPREAD THIS ENERGY TO OTHERS "The best thing about gratitude is that it's contagious," concluded Kilpatrick. "If you put it out there, chances are very good you will get it back! And don't forget that others are watching you and will see how empowered you have become just by being happy. Make the effort this year to focus on gracious and loving feelings and that peace will find its way to you," he added. "You will be amazed at the new and joyful places this attitude of gratitude will lead you."

'THE ANTI-COOKBOOK' A LIBERAL SAUNTER THROUGH THE KITCHEN

BY MUSTAFA ABUBAKER

At 97 pages, “Anti-Cookbook: Easy, Thrifty Recipes for Food-Smart Living" represents the new age of cookbook content. I know this much about the AntiCookbook: Onderdonk and Bloom have the gift of gab. The ways in which the authors utilized story in this cookbook must be similar to the way that servants weaved dreams for kings in medieval times.

Released in 2018, “Anti-Cookbook” opens with a quote to pierce and puncture the preface. “One can perfectly well philosophize while cooking supper,” said self-taught scholar and writer of the 17th century Mexico Sor, Juana Inez De la Cruz. This quote has me conflicted. Why is it so “fake deep” but also “everyday struggle” at the same time? You want me to philosophize and cook? At the same time? I kind of like it. The speaker’s background piques my interest and creates ideas concerning the role of diversity and Latin America specifically within the greater cooking community.

The recipes are well-written and clear, but they assume that the reader already knows their way around the kitchen. Not every recipe is methodically broken down. Thus, the writers credit the readers with a culinary grasp.

We learn that the book was written by two mothers in the preface. I enjoyed its M.O. “Anyone can eat well with a lot of time and money… this book is for all of those who want to do so even if they have neither of those.” It’s a noble sentiment to start off a cookbook.

The writing format offers virtual anecdotes. Storytelling is their thing. They relate the recipe to you in familiar language. It’s a light, breezy, fun read… a perfect beach book to thumb through out there with all the sea, water, sun and wind. The editor seemed lax with the content, as there are mentions of Oxycontin, furthering the idea that this is truly an “anti” cookbook. The cookbook tips its hat to the “Eat, Pray,

Love” institutional influence with a passage about mindfulness on page 90. I appreciated the fact that there was an iMessage

screenshot with emojis inserted into the page. The image of the hand-written recipe on an index card on page 77 also comes off as very hipster to me. These provide examples of how recipe sharing has changed over time. If there’s one thing Onderdonk and Bloom have that functions well, it is taste. This is a maximalist text, not particularly interesting in pulling the reigns or tucking the shirt in, but instead fascinated with the plain, crazy about the ordinary and relentlessly deriving meaning and stories out of the food that they are creating. This is a gratifying cookbook for those interested in nuanced, motherly recipes and also for those who want to fall in love with the kitchen all over again.

'WATER WELLNESS' A New Way to Look at Hydration

BY ABBEY WALKER

“W ater Wellness: The Ultimate Guide to Restore, Rejuvenate and Refine Your Body” is an informative, photogenic book that explores the science behind hydration and offers numerous infused water recipes that would be a hit at any social gathering.

Having experienced success in the health and fitness industry via his phone app “WaterMinder,” Kriss Smolka has introduced water to the cookbook market. “Water Wellness” is comprised of eight chapters filled with thorough research, enlightening statistics and beneficial suggestions that aim to educate the reader on how important hydration is to our health. Despite the informative nature of this book, Smolka communicates his evidence in a clear and concise way, allowing his readers to follow his logic.

While drinking water may seem like a commonsense topic to most people, “Water Wellness” goes a step further and provides a new way to look at hydration. The book examines the following topics: the difference between hydration and dehydration, the reasons you should stay hydrated, the myths surrounding hydration, the factors that influence hydration, the ways to stay hydrated and the importance of food as a source of hydration. By the end, you’ll have an extensive knowledge about drinking water and how crucial it is to your body, but you’ll also have the choice to apply what you’ve learned to your life.

“Water Wellness,” in this way, is a self-help book. Smolka gives us the hydration tools to move forward and to make a potential change in our consumption.

Additionally, we can’t discount the elegant cookbook-like design of this text. Smolka chose visually pleasing, vibrant photos to pair with his research-filled writing, creating a sense of balance and life in his pages. The book is pleasing to the eye, so much so that some of photos may end up making you thirsty, especially those in the recipe section of the book. Smolka rewards his audience for their hard work by providing them with 18 infused water recipes, which include

measurements, ingredients and instructions for each. The recipes consist of a wide range of fruits, berries and spices that, in combination, are likely to invigorate the taste buds. Each recipe is accompanied with an exquisite photo of the completed drink, and simply, they make you want to try them. Not only do these infused waters spice up a party’s pallet and look appealing on social media, but they offer us delightfully tasty ways to stay hydrated.

If you are looking to learn more about hydration and are wanting to make a healthy change in your life, I recommend you check out “Water Wellness.”

5 Women-Focused Races Every Runner Should Try

BY GABBY DANCE

Here at Hers Magazine, we take the age-old insult, “you run like a girl,” as a major compliment. Whether competitive runners or friends looking for a fun group workout, women around the world have created an empowering community of strong women through women-focused 5k races, half marathons, marathons and triathlons. This supportive environment is the perfect way to have some healthy fun. Here are five women’s races around the country that every runner should try.

DISNEY WORLD’S DISNEY PRINCESS HALF MARATHON WEEKEND If you’re looking to unleash your inner child who always longed to be a princess, grab your finest tiara and sign up for this race. Located at Disney World in Orlando, Florida, this race goes throughout the park, even offering photo stops with your favorite Disney characters. The event offers half marathon, 10k and 5k race options. If you’re feeling really motivated, you can even earn a special medal by completing the Fairy Tale Challenge, where runners finish both the 10k and half marathon races. This year’s races take place from February 20–23, 2020.

DIVAS RUNNING SERIES This series of half marathon and 5k events lets women feel glamorous and strong while visiting some extraordinary places. The races take place in a long list of popular destinations across Canada, the U.S. and Puerto Rico, including San Juan, Myrtle Beach and Toronto Island. Runners wear tiaras and pink tutus throughout the race and are greeted with a champagne toast at the finish line. Races take place throughout the year.

NEW YORK MINI 10K As the first women’s only road race, this 10k has been bringing women together since 1972. It was named “mini” after the miniskirt, a fashionable form of resistance during the women’s liberation movement. The race weaves through Manhattan’s Central Park. This year’s race takes place on June 8, 2020.

ATLANTA WOMEN’S 5K Taking place in April 2020 when spring will be in full swing, this family 5k has special mother-daughter and sister team award categories. Runners will get to run through the warmup facility where athletes prepared for their events at the 1996 Olympic Games. Runners even receive flowers at the finish line to congratulate them on their run.

IRON GIRL This women’s version of the Iron Man triathlon series has three locations: Clearwater, Florida; Grimsby, Canada, and Pleasant Prairie, Wisconsin. With less frills than the previous two, these races are great for anyone looking for serious competition. Races take place throughout the year.