How Not to Become a Bridezilla

How Not to Become a Bridezilla

BY ZOIE KONNEKER

Wedding planning is hard work, so it’s difficult to stay focused on what’s most important — having a day dedicated to celebrating yourself and your future spouse. Oftentimes, unmet expectations, the mess of clashing families and tedious choices can push a bride over the edge, causing brides to be referred to as the most unholy of terms: a “bridezilla.”

There’s no foolproof way to avoid the drama that seems to go hand-in-hand with wedding ceremonies, and there’s no certainty that there won’t be a meltdown, but there are some steps you can take to prevent anger and unrest from putting a damper on your big day. Below are some tips for staying in the right mindset and enjoying your wedding without ruining it for anyone else and being called the “b” word. It’s your day, but remember other people will be there, too.

You’ll have friends, family and loved ones there to see you enter a new chapter of your life. Although this is your wedding day, you don’t want to make your guests miserable with ridiculous demands or a bad attitude. Make all of your own choices but keep your guests’ considerations in mind. Order whatever flavor cake you want, make your own crazy signature drinks, bring your cat down the aisle with you. Just don’t have an overly expensive dress code or wait until the last minute to make major decisions that may greatly impact your guests. You want your guests to have a good time at your wedding. Show them your best side by putting on a great party and staying positive. The wedding is important, but it isn’t the most important — the people you celebrate your life with are.

Have clear communication with guests, planners, caterers and all those involved.

Be kind but direct about your expectations for your wedding day by putting everything in writing. Double (or triple) check with your guests that they have received the proper information and understand the protocol. If you don’t want anyone to wear white, let them know. If you want cash instead of gifts, find a tasteful way to put that information on the invitation. If you have a registry with items you’ve been pining after for years, use a service that has priority settings. Effective communication will prevent any confusion, and hence, any disasters.

If you don’t want your phone strapped to you your entire wedding, have someone manning it for you at all times. Let your maid of honor or wedding planner be the point of contact for all things under the “Wedding Day Emergency” category. You want to live in the moment, but you also want things to run smoothly. emember to communicate with your partner about your feelings. If you need a moment to collect yourself, do that. If you need to be one-on-one with your spouse-to-be before you head to the reception,

do that. Show your love for them on your special day, and don’t be afraid to be honest about anxiety, irritation or sadness. Getting married is a big deal, and we are allowed to feel all those feelings that come along with making big life decisions.

Another important tip about communication would be to have those hard conversations with problematic family members before the wedding, which leads us to our next tip.

Keep family ties in mind.

Do Uncle Mark and Aunt Jenny not get along? Make a note of that in your planning, but also let them know that it is important that they set aside their differences for a few hours to celebrate your nuptials. Be strategic with your seating chart so that Mark and Jenny won’t know that the other person is there. Another great idea is to have plenty of decorations to look at such as photo albums and videos. Attractions such as cornhole, drinking games, couple-themed matching games and speeches, will keep everyone entertained so no one is bored enough to start another family feud.

Remember who you are marrying.

You are not marrying your future spouse’s parents and their crazy emotional baggage, but you are also marrying your spouse and whatever their baggage is too. If they have a kid from a previous relationship, you must fully accept their presence at the ceremony. If they have a brother you hate but they love, you must put your differences aside for one day and just be a family. After all, that is the end goal of the ceremony — to unite two people, two families to become one. If there are any grievances between you and your spouse, then air them before the wedding. Know who you are marrying and accept them without expecting them to magically change who they are into who you want them to be. When you put a ring on it, you’re promising forever, through thick and thin, through midlife crises and all chapters of life.

Do not over-invite and underdeliver.

This one seems simple. Don’t invite over one hundred guests if you aren’t prepared to feed, entertain and greet all of them at least once. Cutting corners to save money may seem convenient at the time, but when your 150 guests go home hangry and disappointed, you’ll regret inviting out of your financial comfort zone.

Don’t be afraid to say “no,” and “yes!”

At the heart of it all, it’s your day. If something makes you uncomfortable, then you don’t have to do it, and if you’re dying to make your wedding Harry Potter themed, well, go for it. Live your life. Presumably, this is your first and only marriage (and if it’s not, that’s okay — even more of a reason to really chase your bliss if the first time around didn’t fulfill your wildest dreams), so make it count. Remember, you want to be kind, courteous and do what you can to enjoy your big day. But it’s okay to be a little bossy too, as long as you’re tactful and have respect for those around you.

Make sure to eat!

No one likes a hangry bride. Stay hydrated, fed and remember to wear a bib! If anything goes wrong, remember that it will be a funny story you’ll tell your kids one day.

Remember, even if things go wrong, your wedding can still be great. Don’t sweat the small stuff and remember that every detail of your wedding day is going to give you and your partner a unique story, and bring the two of you closer than ever before.