The Lion - Issue 5

resistance

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molly Puttock on the latest student demonstration

tFhell

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chris Nicholson on tube strikes and the rmt

The

Heythrop Students’ Union Volume 1 Issue 5 Wednesday 8th December theheythroplion.co.uk

Jasmin Khosah: New Events Officer

Gala Jackson-Coombs comment Editor

Jasmin Khosah has been appointed to the post of Events and Entertainments officer in the Heythrop Students’ Union Executive Committee 2010/11. the Events and Entertainments team was formerly made up of Jazz Purewal and Alex Nandris. Unfortunately, mr.

Purewal resigned his position citing family commitments, leaving him unable to have enough time to fulfil his role. ms Khosah ran for the position in the 2010 hSU elections, and was an active fresher steward throughout Freshers’ Week. there were no official nominations submitted to the hSU Office when Advertisement

civilised Society?

marc crosby on tV torture

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nominations were open, therefore the hSU Executive have chosen to co-opt ms Khosah effective immediately. ms Khosah has a few new ideas she wants to implement in her new position. In an interview with the Lion, ms Khosah considered possible ways in which to get the most out of the events budget. “one of my aims would be to hold small scale fund-raising events, getting the student body together for fun-filled cheap activities in the hope of raising money for the hSU and charities. Ideas for this include calling upon the many talented at heythrop and putting on a night of entertainment and drinks, for everyone to get together have a fun night and raise money. Another idea is to have a bachelor(ette) or “slave” (though that may not be very Pc) auction. It’s quite a simple idea, get a group of willing (or coerced) people who would strut their fine stuff in front of the crowd and would have a list of their talents/attributes read out. bidding would commence and the highest bidder would then win themselves their own personal slave; the person they won would have to do silly things for them throughout the day.

Other ideas include a pub crawl where people could put money in like a fiver to take part, along the lines of the Portobello pub crawl from last year’s Fresher’s Week, which for me and many others was one of the highlights.

Continued on P2>

JASmIN: the New Events Officer for the hSU - Photo by James barber

heythrop on bbc London News Josh Ferguson 2 year Undergraduate nd

The BBC was present at Heythrop on the 17th of November, in order to cover the ongoing student protests.

Joe rennison, editor of the London Student, facilitated the coverage of the heythrop contingent of the protests on what is being called the “Day X” protests. mr. rennison put the bbc in touch with hSU President James Johnston, culminating in a filming of the preparations for the protest. A filming of the heyth-

rop contingent on the day itself followed President Johnston said of the coverage: “I’m massively pleased by the way the bbc handled it, especially the way that the days leading up to the protest were covered. I feel that there was far too much exposure given to the violent minority, when they shouldn’t have had any attention paid to them at all. What I find interesting, though, is that the first protests were focused on because of the violence, whereas these latest protests have got people talking about police tactics instead.” the current hSU President has been vocal in his condemnation of the violent minority, hoping to represent the

heythrop Students’ Union as a peaceful contingent of the overall protest. the bbc coverage of the student protests has remained balanced since the start, focusing on all student protests nationwide, such as the occupations of colleges within Oxford and cambridge. closer to home, there has also been extensive coverage of the student occupation of SOAS, UcL and other UL colleges. coverage has also extended to the appearance of NUS President Aaron Porter and ULU President clare Solomon on Newsnight to discuss the nature of the protests. the reporting of the protests by the bbc and other news networks has led to a divided opinion of the student protests by the public at large.

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WEDNESDAY 8th DEcEmbEr | THE LION

NEWS

MERRY CHRISTMAS

theheythroplion.co.uk

The lion Editorial Team and the Heythrop Students’ Union wish to congratulate everyone who Graduated on Wednesday.

twitter.com/theheythroplion facebook.com/theheythroplion youtube.com/theheythroplion flickr.com/photos/theheythroplion

New hSU Events Officer >Continued from P1

Please recycle your lion at one of the many recycle bins around College

Wheelbarrow racing is another, where bets could be placed upon the teams of two and race against each other; pretty much horse racing, but with people around the heythrop gardens.” ms Khosah also has grander plans for main hSU events, “As heythrop does not have a bar or club on-site and there is no set place where the student body can congregate. Only at organised heythrop events is there a chance for everyone to get together. So another aim of mine would be to put on more

big events within the year, maybe even themed ones such as saints and sinners, or a 90’s school disco”. the new Events officer has fresh ideas for rAG (raising And Giving) Week.

“I want to make rAG week a big event at heythrop to get everyone together doing fun and silly things in the name of charity...With events ranging from bake sales to pub styled quiz nights.”

She also had the novel idea of a refresher’s Week – “Not quite on the same scale as Freshers’ Week, but a

The Co-Creator and Editor-in-Chief Alex hackett alex@theheythroplion.co.uk

News Editor Alex hackett news@theheythroplion.co.uk

Co-Creator and Editor Gala Jackson-coombs gala@theheythroplion.co.uk

Features Editor Josh Ferguson features@theheythroplion.co.uk

Editor Katie Plumb katie@theheythroplion.co.uk

Comment Editor Gala Jackson-coombs comment@theheythroplion.co.uk

the Lion is the independent student newspaper of heythrop college, University of London. We distribute at least 1000 free copies during term time around campus and to popular student venues in and around Kensington. the Lion is published by hackJack Ltd. and printed by mortons Print Ltd. All copyright is the exclusive property of hackJack Ltd. No part of this publication is to be reproduced, stored on a retrieval system or submitted in any form or by any means, without the prior permission of the publisher.

Culture Editor John Arthur craven Ord culture@theheythroplion.co.uk Sport and Societies Editor Katie Plumb & Gala Jackson-coombs sportsoc@theheythroplion.co.uk

week of fun after christmas is the right way to start the New Year and the new term. Obviously, it would not be expected to be a full week but a couple of small scale events, to get everyone back into the swing of university and the student lifestyle.” ms Khosah’s first challenge will be the christmas ball, which is to be held on a vintage replica steamboat, with fellow small college, the courtauld Institute of Art. the ball also has a masquerade theme details of which are on the back of this issue.

Editorial Team

NEXT DEADLINE FOR SUBMISSIONS

07.01.11

Please send your submissions to: submit@theheythroplion.co.uk the views expressed in this publication are those of the author and not necessarily those of the Editors or of the heythrop Students’ Union. Every effort has been made to contact the holders of copyright for any material used in this issue, and to ensure the accuracy of this fortnight’s stories. © hackJack Ltd. 2010, 639 Nell Gwynn house, Sloane Ave, Kensington, London SW3 3bE Pages 1 -8 - Designed by Alex hackett Pages 9 -16 - Designed by Gala Jackson-coombs

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WEDNESDAY 8th DEcEmbEr | THE LION

NEWS

climbing Kilimanjaro heythrop Students Jack Williamson and Lucy Garner are attempting to climb the highest freestanding mountain in the world

thE mOUNtAIN: Jack Williamson and Lucy Garner climb for charity- Photo from flickr.com

Jack Williamson 2nd year Undergraduate Lucy Garner and myself, much to the surprise of nearly everyone who knows us, have decided to do something that doesn’t involve the pub. In fact it is pretty much the polar opposite of going to the pub. For starters there will be no beer, no crisps and definitely no lovely comfy sofas. there won’t even be a kebab on the way back! Well now I’ve told you what there won’t be let me tell you what there will be. there will be 5,895 metres of climbing; there will be deserts and glaciers. there will be barren rocky landscapes and snow covered peaks. there will be elephants, giraffes, monkeys and sunbirds. there will be beautifully clear mornings and days when we can’t see our own feet for fog. Well, if you haven’t figured it out by now, we’re climbing Kilimanjaro. this should be an incredible experience and one that neither of us are likely to be involved with again but we’re not just doing it for fun. We have decided to climb Kilimanjaro to raise money for one of the most worthy

charities in the UK; the NSPcc. the NSPcc was founded in 1889 (and was originally called the London society for the prevention of cruelty to children) and is the only UK charity which has been granted statutory powers under the children Act 1989, allowing it to apply for care and supervision orders for children at risk. this means that the NSPcc is the only charity of its kind in the country.

So why are we telling you? because as great as it sounds spending the summer trekking in one of the world’s most diverse continents for charity, what actually makes the difference are the donations. In order to complete the climb, Lucy and I must raise £5000 in donations. All donations go directly to the NSPcc, (just in case there were any worries about funding a few extra pints). to put into perspective the kind of difference that money would make; here are some figures. £5000 sends 200 trained practitioners to homes where they can help babies and toddlers who cannot call for themselves.

It could also pay for 119 children to receive one-to-one counselling sessions, and could provide 100 hours of support via the NSPcc helpline. It’s hard

children and a bit of good old bar work.

As great a contribution as this is for the next part we need YOUr help!

to imagine how much difference this could make to the lives of those children who really need it.

For those of you who think that this sounds like a lovely all expenses paid trip; you couldn’t be more wrong. both of us are paying £1200 each for this experience and this has seriously put a dent (more like a gaping hole) in our wallets. We have had to work hard for this money through both work with

On the 15th of December this year we are putting on an open mic night in Ealing. there will be performances from some of the best talent at heythrop, beer prices that won’t leave you skint for the next week and some big tunes from heythrop’s local resident DJ! there will also be a performance from an up and coming artist and hosting from the one and only Alex Nandris! this night will, or should end up being, a large part of the donation. We need you there to make it happen! Any artists are welcome to perform and this includes anyone from a guitarist to a comedian, from a poet to a poser. basically anything goes! there has been an email been sent round from President James Johnston with the facebook event included but if you cant find this the address is available via a link on the hSU Website. bring as many friends as you can as it is YOU that will make this event happen! this won’t just be a night to forget or a drunken fumble in Ealing.

Every single penny you donate will go towards helping those who can’t help themselves.

Follow Jack and lucy’s progress on The lion website

theheythroplion.co.uk

Anyhow, I think I’ve talked at you for long enough now. All I have left to say is please donate to the NSPcc if you can either through our websites, (listed below) or through our event, which I hope you will all turn up to!

All the best (and a merry drunken christmas) to you all.

The sites to donate through are: www.justgiving.com/kilimanjacko www.justgiving.com/ jackandlucyclimb The open mic night will take place: 15th of December 7.30pm, Upstairs at The Haven, 1a Haven Grn London W5 2UU 020 8810 5254 Anyone wanting a set for the night should contact Jack on 07739127488 or Lucy on 07544912465.

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WEDNESDAY 8th December | THE LION

FEATURE

“You need to do something awful; acknowledge that you are an adult and get a job!”

3rd year Undergraduate Katherine Goss on how to get employment in London, especially around the Christmas period.

Katherine Goss 3nd year Undergraduate For many of you, a vague feeling of dread may be setting in. No longer living at home, your loan is running out and your alcohol/pasty/hat habit may be draining your resources far faster than you realised. You need to do something alien and awful; acknowledge that you are a responsible adult and get a job. However, having been in education until you were 18, you may not have had one before. This is clearly a disadvantage in competitive London but worry not, you can still do it! Just before Christmas is the perfect time as many high street shops and bars will be after Christmas temps.

Step One: writing a CV is the most important step of all.

Give it time, get advice from as many people as possible and PROOF READ at least 3 times.

For more detailed tips on how to write a CV, simply Google ‘How to write a CV.’ As someone who has not been previously employed, the best way to make your CV stand out is with PERFECT spelling and grammar and a sparkling personal description. Exam results are obviously helpful, and you can list other school achievements in place of previous jobs. Creativity (but not outright lying) will make that babysitting job into housekeeping and childcare, helping out with school events will render you a Team Leader or someone experienced at advertising, and writing for the Lion really does mean journalistic skills. Don’t claim you have recognised qualifications that you don’t, but make sure employers think you spent your free time profitably, rather than setting local playgrounds on fire.

Step Two: Distributing that CV. Everything has to look presentable. CVs in plastic wallets, at least for transportation, don’t get crinkled or dirty. You too have to look like someone Average Joe or his middle aged mother would want to be served by. You may have to make compromises, like removing or hiding piercings, dressing more sedately or shaving off your pink Mohawk and having a mullet reminiscent of Julia Roberts in Hook instead. Once you have the job, and have proven yourself useful, you can slowly bring your unusual accoutrements back in if you absolutely must.

Choosing your targets is easy-try EVERYWHERE. Pubs, restaurants, coffee shops, clothing shops, charities, call centres, fancy places, places you

go regularly, McDonald’s... You will never hear back from most places, but eventually, you will find somewhere that will take you. Although I appreciate that you are a University Student who is indubitably intelligent, strongminded and independent, you are not too good for any job. McDonald’s has brilliant benefits for their workers, and even cleaners are getting paid more than you are. Don’t patronise existing staff because you are more intelligent/ attractive/skilled at speaking English.

They have jobs, you don’t.

Another easy way to get yourself noticed when applying for jobs is to ask to speak to the manager about a job.

Simply giving your CV to a till worker means it will very probably get left under the counter and forgotten. Speaking to someone with authority means you also get the opportunity to impress them with any of your personality you couldn’t fit onto the CV. Asking them questions about the shop shows you are observant and ready to learn. Being a regular customer shows you already know a great deal about the products you will be hoping to sell.

Step Three: Repeating Step Two so many times you become convinced you will never become employed.

Find new places to apply, and reapply to places you feel especially suited for.

Try going further afield from home, or just walk in a new direction to find new places. If you’re in Halls, try heading away from the High Street and Notting Hill and back towards South Kensington or Earl’s Court. Try compromising your appearance even further (i.e. a disguise) or speaking to a different manager. Try job-seeking websites, although these are rarely aimed at people without industry recognised qualifications. Try applying for jobs you hadn’t previously considered, like cleaning, event custody, construction, office or secretarial work, or leaflet distribution (www.gumtree.co.uk is the best place for this). Do be sure to check that the work is paid, because padding out your CV is for when you live at home, getting fed. Unpaid jobs or internships might look great on the CV, but food is also nice.

If you are still managing to make your money stretch put far enough, a part time job will give you something to do and delay needing to devote yourself full-time to labour. Don’t leave job hunting to the absolute last minute, as you will not get paid immediately-most places pay monthly. This terrifying last step away from being a teenager simply has to be taken, so you may as well take it now, and have more money for the new year. Good luck and remember to have a good shower before you set out.

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WEDNESDAY 8th DEcEmbEr | THE LION

FEATURE

the carnival of resistance 2nd year Undergraduate Molly Puttock reports on the heythrop contingent at the latest student protest

Molly Puttock 2nd year Undergraduate

rESIStANcE: heythrop Students on the march again, Photo - coalition of resistance Flickr - INSErt: ULU Poster for the event

Molly mM

On Wednesday the 24th November both university and further education students (including the group of heythrop students). the Students, as well as lecturers, teachers and other sympathisers, assembled outside the University of London Union on mallet Street in order to protest against the rise in university tuition fees (set to rise to £9000 by 2012) and the cuts on E.m.A. (Education maintenance Allowance). the march started at about 11:30am when students started marching whilst waving banners, dancing and chanting, all to the beat of the samba band. the march went well with many peo-

ple coming outside of shops in order to support the students. there was a large police presence yet the mood was jovial and pleasant.

Yet when the group arrived at Parliament Street, the police had lined up on one side refusing access through to continue the rest of the march. As more students continued into the area the police then lined up behind them causing a large group of students to be kettled in between the lines of police.

At this point the mood appeared to turn and become more violent and aggressive with some protestors attacking a seemingly abandoned police van that had been left in the middle of the road. the van was broken into, climbed on and spray painted with profanities, although this be-

haviour was only shown by a minority. the kettling continued for many hours, during which camera crews filmed the vandalism that occurred. Yet the majority of people were protesting peacefully and the crowd grew tired within the confines of the police lines. those under the age of 16 were allowed to leave but the rest were kept in the cold with no food, water, heat or toilets until about 16:00 hours when the police placed two portable toilets by the scene and started to give out bottled water.

Groups within the kettle started making fires as well as using sound systems to set up small “grime raves”. the protestors could not yet be released due to more protestors on the other side of the police line blocking the exit and making it too dangerous to release them all at once. the police line was al-

most broken several times with protestors pushing up towards the police and a few people attempted to climb across walls in order to secure freedom.

Around a thousand protestors managed to break free from the lines and a minority caused further problems and were chased around London by the police, whilst only minimal damaged was caused during this chase. the rest of the protestors were allowed out around 21:00 hours which is about nine hours after the containment began. 32 people were arrested with 2 police officers injured and 11 others also injured It appears to this protestor that perhaps the reason for the police causing all the protestors such discomfort by holding them for hours in the cold may be to discourage further action against

the cuts. Yet it is rumoured that there are more protests to come and there are many occupations underway in universities such as Plymouth, royal holloway and the University of West of England with more expected over the next few weeks. the Deputy Prime minister Nick clegg stated on bbc radio 2 in response to the action that “I hate in politics, as in life, to make promises that you then find you can’t keep. We made a promise we can’t deliver - we didn’t win the election outright and there are compromises in coalition.”

For more information about University of London Union Demonstrations, Visit the their website ulu.co.uk

See exclusive videos of the Student Demonstrations

youtube.com/theheythroplion

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WEDNESDAY 8th December | THE LION

FEATURE

Republican Rhapsody

JT White and Josh Ferguson explain their views on the Royal wedding and why they think the taxpayer shouldn’t be footing the bill.

JT White and Josh Ferguson Molly mM

And so for the first time since Prince Charles pulled a Caligula and married a horse, we saddle up for another ROYAL WEDDING, where the taxpayer’s money is gleefully spent on an inbred family whose original purpose as figureheads has been buried under meaningless luxurious ceremony. Apparently an awful lot of cash is needed to make Prince Willy look like less of an absolute farting cretin, and to make Kate Middleton look less of a social climbing trophywife in waiting.

Unless you’ve been on the moon for the past couple of weeks, with your fingers in your ears and your eyes stapled shut, you will inevitably have heard that William Wales and Kate Middleton are engaged and will be married next year at the tax-payers’ expense. Yes, it’s true, the Prince has found a wife to cheat on, following in his illustrious father’s footsteps. Naturally the feeding-frenzy led by the parasites, who call themselves “journalists” and “paparazzi”, is underway with an enthusiasm rivalled only by a teenage boy’s yearning for privacy having just discovered masturbation. The media frenzy has barely got started and has yet to “climax”, the press has already shot down the Bishop of Willesden for expressing his views on the Royal wedding. It is obviously a grave crime to express indifference or opposition to the Royal Family, for it is an institution endowed by God with the right to rule us and live off our taxes, because their better than us and we’re their bitches, so sit back and watch all the fantastic ceremony kick off at your expense.

It is somewhat ironic that Christianity has been taken up as the religion of the ruling class. After all it was Christ – a radical middle-eastern Jew who came from the Middle East and looked like a goddamn hippie – who denounced the rich and the powerful, who held that the losers and deadbeats would inherit the earth, before being done to death by the state. Not an obvious hero for the British monarchy, with its family values derived from Henry VIII and pillaging most of the world in the name of “civilisation”, which also has a history of crushing dissent to prevent the rise of a mass-democracy. The vote was not a gift from above, it was seized from below. It was gained after centuries of struggle against a clan of inbred hypocrites and syphilis-ridden playboys “entitled” to rule only by a hereditary principle.

Actually, speaking as writers, it’s probably a good thing that this wedding has been announced, because damn it, we need material for this column. Prince William, our future King lest we forget, is being hitched to another hot piece of St. Andrews ass (don’t think too much about that metaphor, I certainly didn’t) whom he first “fell for” (i.e. made Prince Will’s little Wills go SPROING!!) at a University catwalk, where Kate was wearing a dress that left very little to the imagination. An adventurous lady could possibly replicate the effect us-

SMILEY SMILEY: Prince William and Kate Middleton, Photo from flickr.com

ing four cobwebs and three beer bottletops, but it would be a near thing.

So then, Prince William. Already balding, and always seen with an insufferable and inherently punchable smirk on his over-privileged face, is the centrepiece to this royalist burlesque show, and it’s hard to figure why he’s so popular. He’s not even that attractive.

His “brother” Prince Harry could, potentially, be considered attractive if one had just served a long voyage at sea, but William just looks like a New Yorker caricature of the stereotypical British toff, all braying laughs and absence of chin. More innocent or less cynical writers than we would wonder what Kate saw in him, but then one remembers that the prospects of a fortune and endless photo shoots for Hello and OK! Magazines would turn Jo Brand into a fanny-magnet. But there’s one thought that keeps circling the mind like a vulture, which is the thought of whether or not William is good in bed. The idea of William’s cut-glass English accent expressing explicit sexual pleasure is one that will haunt my dreams forever, as is the thought of whether or not William says “crikey” at the vital moment.

Though at this rate, the media coverage will catch the “vital moment” for YouTubers everywhere.

The current estimates for security alone are £20 million. That’s an astonishing amount of money to be throw-

ing around. The money spent on the caviar and smoked salmon alone could probably neatly settle my student loan.

Twenty million pounds is more money than the average working Briton will make in their lifetime, and here it is being thoughtlessly frittered away on lavish fripperies that make your average Bullingdon night out look like a monk’s lifestyle. The fact that this money is coming from the taxpayers, who have mortgages and bank loans and other plebeian concerns is the point that turns this farrago from merely an exercise in repulsive decadence into a downright insult. As we said before, the subtext of the glamour and luxury of this wedding is not to celebrate the union between two whinnying upper-class toffs, but instead to highlight the fact that some people are just born better than you. That’s right, they are better.

God says so. Nobody cares if you don’t believe in God or if you don’t like how they’re living, this family of scroungers descended from a line of murderers, madmen, syphilitic lard-arses and tyrants are better than you.

The affair brings to mind nobody less than a giggling little “People’s Princess” Diane Windsor nee Spencer. When so much money was spent on the wedding of her to that gloomy bat-eared man, only for the marriage to fall limply to the ground like an overused condom, how we would have laughed, had the population not been footing

the bill. The dress and ring alone cost the equivalent of £100,000 today, paid for with the wealth and land bestowed onto them by God and the public. Diana Spencer was a voluntary member of the dynasty in pursuit of a fairytale life as a Princess and Queen in waiting.

The media indulged her in this puerile quest and has succeeded in creating a cult to the Princess. As for philanthropy and the two days she spent in Angola and Bosnia, when you’re a borderline airhead with millions of pounds and nothing to do except shag the riding instructor and contemplate regurgitating lunch, these things are something to do. This also helped cement the cultish following in the press. So when the Spencer girl died the press lost control of this cult and had no choice but to suspend reality. The non-event of 1997 would be mourned incessantly in the mass-media, not out of genuine adulation but to retain circulation. No deviation would be tolerated. Banning and censorship were the penalties for doing so. Today the Memorial to Diana’s memory seems very similar to her as a person. Both pointless and gushing, though unless my memory fails, Diana never drowned any squirrels. Feel free to correct us on this point if you have proof. But we digress.

I guess that the point that we are trying laboriously to get to is that this wedding is, at best, ridiculous, and at worst a spit in the eye of the taxpayer. What needs

to happen is for us to reassess the position of the royals in society. The kind of unquestioning loyalty that so many people have is completely groundless.

Loyalty needs to be earned, and it cannot be wasted on these non-elected, inbred sponges. So many people never seem to question the privileged position of the royals in society, despite the omnipresent implications that some people are born better than others and that you should pay for the honour of being ruled by these toffs.

Not that we want to sound like Cromwellian abolitionists (we are, but we don’t want to sound like it) but the Royals are an utterly vestigial part of Britain today, a detriment to the equality of man and the last remnant of imperial rule and all the nasty baggage that goes with that. If we must have them, then let’s not waste our time harping on about the wedding, but have the incestuous pricks tone it down. Give Willy and Kate a registry office-followed-by-local-pub wedding.

Move the Queen into just one of her stately homes, and give the rest to the National Trust. Give Prince Phillip an ASBO for “racial insensitivity”. Tear down the Diana Memorial and replace it with the verdant beauty of Hyde Park once again. If we are to have the Royals, don’t have them be the symbols of a lingering aristocracy. Make them normal people. It’s either that, or we can dust off the guillotines.

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WEDNESDAY 8th december | THE LION

“COMMENT.” Kitty’s Sausage Review Katherine Goss 3rd year Undergraduate I have been an amateur food critic for over 19 years. I enjoy eating meat, vegetables and sweets. I was once imprisoned in a prison made of pork by the evil sibling of the three little pigs and I am, as such, uniquely qualified to test sausages and uniquely generous in letting you share in my findings.

Whole Foods Italian Pork, Fennel and Garlic Sausages Price £7.99 per kg Huge, handmade looking sausages with nothing funny in-organic and eco friendly, in as much as meat can be.

Two sausages are plenty for the average student appetite, and two is about as far as the student budget can stretch.

You can taste every ingredient in thesechoose the rest of your meal accordingly. Bisto granules won’t really work

with fennel. I tried to make sausage sandwiches with these cold but they are oddly crumbly and don’t fit in normal bread due to their enormous length.

Try taking the skin off and cooking with tomatoes to make a pasta sauce.

3 stars Tesco’s own brand Stilton and Pork Sausages Price: £2.59 for 6 I bought these out of curiosity-Tesco’s sausages can be a little hit and miss but I was feeling optimistic and rightly so. After frying and being eaten in an plain sausage sandwich, I concluded that these were very fine indeed. The pork is tasty and juicy, and being fairly lumpy I feel reassured that these are mostly meat and not fake filling. The stilton flavour is very interesting-all the best parts of a nice cheese with none of the overpowering pong. The flavours go together so well that to anoint these sausages with mustard or brown sauce would be to do them an injustice. These

are a limited edition so buy them quick!

5 stars Tivali Meat Free Frankfurters Price: About £3 for a pack of 8, notoriously difficult to source I was brought up on these, and I feel these garlic-heavy impostors actually hold their own against normal frankfurters (a.k.a vile jelly filled pseudomeat tubes) and even some normal sausages. The best part about them is the time they take to cook-one whole minute in the microwave. A pleasing texture and cheap price adds further recommendation. Obviously not something to impress a date with when cooking a romantic dinner but great for sandwiches, bulking out fry ups or a quick dinner for one. Remember to brush your teeth after, they really are quite garlicky. Vegetarian only, not vegan.

4 stars Tesco Sweet Chilli and Pork sausages Price: £2.59 for 6

On The Age on Consent Chris Clarke 2nd year Undergraduate It seems to me that a bizarrely large proportion of the surface area of this newspaper is devoted to issues of a sexual/relationship nature (going by the Nov 17th issue here, this issue may be about as sexy as suet pudding). Wanting to add my not-so-humble opinion to the orgy of opinions out there, I am proposing that any idea of an ‘age of consent’ be wiped from our public consciousness as an embarrassingly illiberal mistake. I’m hoping this is a controversial opinion, but I’m not merely saying it to be controversial; there is a serious reason behind it.

The age of consent for sexual relations in the UK is 16 - for both heterosexual and homosexual couples; this is nothing unusual, in Europe it ranges from 13 in Spain to 18 in Malta and Turkey.

Worldwide one is looking at 16-18 in the USA depending on which state one is in, 14 in China, 16 in India; so we’re about average. Clearly an age of consent is well established in most legal systems, usually as a matter of perceived protection for younger people against older. The legal language that defines the age of consent is often more a case of ‘any individual over the age of X (often 19-ish) is committing sexual assault/rape if they have intercourse with an individual under the age of Y’.

Herein lies the main argument for an age of consent, that younger people can be exploited by those who are older, wiser or stronger.

However, this is a flawed argument; countries already have laws against sex crimes where there has been coercion

or violence and so the additional age of consent ‘protection’ does nothing more than to presuppose that any sexual relations involving an individual below the age of consent must involve coercion or violence. Of course this is not true, in the UK it is hardly a secret that many couples have sex at 13, 14 or 15; in the overwhelming majority of those cases it is not a creepy middle-aged guy (wearing a string vest with stains on it) tricking a young relative, but much as in any sexual relationship between a couple in their twenties. Naturally, the girl may be 13 and the chap 15 or 16 (he could be prosecuted if he is 16+) but if they both agree to a sexual relationship, why should they not have the same recognition as a much older couple?

The argument that younger people don’t really know what sex is about or aren’t mature enough to handle it is utterly false. It could be said (not unreasonably) that no-one can really understand sex until they participate in it themselves; there’s only so much one can learn from those excruciating school sex education classes. If we look at it this way then no-one is really ready for or fully understands sex until they do it; to speak philosophically, it can’t be known a priori.

The question of maturity is an important one and the basis of my argument.

Human beings become sexually mature during puberty; as we all know the age can vary by a fair few years in different people. However, the fact is that when a lady starts producing eggs and a gentleman sperm, they are biologically ‘good to go’. In almost all cases, this happens before the age of consent, so we get sexually frustrated secondary school students, unable to fully appreciate life or act in accordance with nature. It is

not too far-fetched an analogy to say that this is much like not permitting someone to use the toilet for several years. In any case, due to various factors (most social) most young people are pretty well clued up by 12/13; one only has to see all the sexual Facebook groups they join, or the fact that mainstream pop music with its sexual lyrics and body movements is enjoyed mostly by under 16’s.

‘Teenage pregnancy!!’ I hear you cry; surely doing away with the age of consent will increase this socially destructive phenomenon. Nope; you’ll recall that Spain has the lowest age of consent in Europe, and also the lowest rate of teenage pregnancies; less than a third of what it is in the UK. Of course, this is a deeply cultural thing and there are socio-economic issues; it won’t be fixed by more sex education but by a more open approach to sex and a part of this is removing the secrecy necessarily attached to many underage relationships as a result of the age of consent.

As a final point, let’s consider the very value of sex; it is a necessary part of the human life cycle and (usually) very enjoyable for its participants, how can that be justifiably denied to certain individuals because of nothing more than an arbitrary attempt at social engineering? Nature has already given us an ‘age of consent’, for some of us it’s 11, for others 12 or 13, for some 18; we don’t help matters by applying unnatural restrictions to this. It is impossible to see the age of consent as anything more than a misguided attempt to protect people that in fact does nothing more than prevent couples expressing their love in the most intimate way while not truly protecting those individuals who are in sexually abusive situations.

I’ll start with the good parts-affordable, high quality ingredients, filling. But such a resounding failure. All the ingredients individually would be delicious, but they’re so badly matched and proportioned. Far, far too sweet for the fried pork flavour and no spice to redeem them. Sweet chilli is a very fashionable taste at the moment, but it doesn’t

work being shoe-horned into perfectly decent sausages. If in some sort of bizarre but oddly domestic nightmare you somehow ended up with these sausages and needed to cook them, I would humbly suggest that you cut them up small and had them with spicy noodles.

2 stars

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WEDNESDAY 8th DEcEmbEr | THE LION

COMMENT Harry Potter and the Heythrop Philosophers Zahra Al-Kateb 1 year Undergraduate st

“Philosophy begins in wonder” said Plato. As a child, the feeling of wonder is constant. children are almost born philosophers, they often ask questions such as “who is God?”, “Who am I?” and “Why do we exist?”. No other piece of literature in recent years has reminded us of what it is like to wonder as a child does as much as harry Potter. the series invites us to almost ‘revisit’ our childhood through harry’s wide-eyed innocence, similar to how we begin to unravel problems in philosophy.

Although rowling’s books are obviously not written as deliberate pieces of philosophical literature, there is no doubt that the books are rife with philosophical significance. For example, there is an echo of Nietzsche in Voldemort’s words that there is no good or evil, only power and those “too weak to seek it”. harry Potter is certainly one of the most popular characters in the world, and JK rowling uses that character to teach us lessons how to live a good life. In the new upcoming movie Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, we see a fear-prone harry trying to face up to some of the greatest dangers in the wizarding world. So what gives harry his courage? Perhaps it is important to reflect and define what courage is. courage is doing what is best overall, rather than what is necessarily best for you, leaving behind those things that you value with the hope that they will return to you. the great philosopher Aristotle claimed that the brave man is the wise man, for they still have fears and the individual must be able to know what is that he fears before he tries to overcome it. Generally, we perceive cowardice as the opposite of courage

and bravery, but this in fact rashness.

A courageous action involves assessing what it is in particular that they aim towards. Aristotle looks down on those who rush in to overcome their fears, unaware of recklessness. courage is a virtue without which no other virtues are capable of existing. For example, an honest person has to have had the courage to not cover up circumstances where there is pressure to hide the truth. It seems, according to harry, by surrounding yourself with your friends, their support can encourage you in a way that nothing else can. For example, in the first book, whilst harry is playing Quidditch, he notices a banner reading ‘Potter for President’ in the crowds.

Immediately, ‘his heart skipped a beat. he felt braver’.

who they are as individuals. however, Aristotle does recognise the ‘admirable’ type of friendship. What we love in this case is primarily that the friend is a good person. We want good things for our friend for their sake. this does not mean that by helping a friend, we are ignoring our own interests.

Aristotle believes that by helping a friend we are in fact pursuing our own interests. he even goes so far to claim that a friend is like ‘another self’ – an extension. Friendship requires a mutual understanding between what

is good for our friend and what is good for us. this is the case with ron and hermione as they help harry find the horcruxes of Voldemort in the last book.

Another theme which appears within the stories is discrimination. For the purpose of this article, we shall claim that ‘moral discrimination’ is the treatment of equals as inferiors. this is often seen throughout the series, for example when the malfoy’s claim hermione is a ‘mudblood’ because she is a muggle-born wizard. hagrid is also ridiculed because he is a half-giant.

the philosopher Kant claimed that all rational beings deserved to be treated equally, simply on the basis that they are rational. In his works, Groundwork for the Metaphysics of Morals, he claims that it is irrational to treat a person as a mere means and not as an end in themselves. there are several other themes of philosophy that appear within the harry Potter series that can be discovered by us muggles such as feminism, space and time and the problem of evil which can be left for you to discover and explore for yourselves.

Friendship is of extreme importance within the harry Potter series. the ‘good’ characters mostly appear to have strong friendships, such as the trio of harry, ron and hermione, whereas the ‘bad’ characters such as Voldemort’s do not express any kind of desire to make friends. Voldemort appears to use his followers as merely instruments to be manipulated, rewarded and punished whilst they are meeting his needs.

According to Aristotle, within this kind of friendship, the most distinctive quality is that we don’t really care about our friends for who they are, but for what they can do for us. Aristotle states that when we love someone or something, we do so because ‘the object appears useful, pleasant or good’ (Nichomachean Ethics, Aristotle). We want friends not just for their sake, but also for our own. For example, we may wish to hang out with someone who is funny, primarily because we care about the laughs we get out of them – we are motivated by a desire for our own pleasure. For Voldemort, malfoy, Quirrell and Wormtail are all replaceable as followers. It is the services that they are offer that are valuable for Voldemort, rather than

Get a Cheapskates Card for Huge Discounts on Union Events £25 for a three year membership (available to 1st year undergraduate students) £20 for a two year membership (available to 2nd year undergraduate students) £15 for a one year membership (available to 3rd year undergraduate students) £10 for a one year membership (available to erasmus students and post-graduate students)

Available at the Union Office

I’m a Cheapskate!

9

WEDNESDAY 8th DEcEmbEr | THE LION

COMMENT Reflections on Day X JT White 1st year Philosophy A series of walkouts followed by occupations and demonstrations rushed across the nation on Wednesday. the participants were ordinary students, pupils of secondary schools and colleges as well as from universities. It has been estimated that around 130,000 people took to streets across the country that day, and 18 universities have gone into occupation. there were trade unions, leftist parties, activist networks and student unions involved but the vast majority had not been mobilised by any union or political party. It was down to the social networks through which activist networks have sprung up in recent months and word of the cuts agenda spread. but most of all it was the way that thousands of people acted to defend a basic tenet of social democracy - universal education. the unifying cause of the demonstrators was to stop the cuts to education and the raising of tuition fees. In other words, to prevent the coalition from taking us towards an educational system that is much more unequal than it is today. there was a heavy police presence at many of the demonstrations, it was a show of strength that the police were prepared and would not be embarrassed by a few rowdy students. the march that I was involved in personally, from ULU on malet Street to trafal-

gar Square was guided by police escort - two vans led the way until a portion of the demonstrators broke-off and made a run for it and the police were soon in pursuit. the rest were led through an alternate route to trafalgar, then down towards Parliament where the “kettling” commenced. It would last for many hours without much food or water and freezing weather. the mood of police ranged from hostile to sarcastic at best. there were many teenagers there who were still doing their A-levels and even GcSEs, one girl asked me why we - university students who would not be affected by the trebling of tuition fees - cared enough to stand alongside them. It’s a good question. here’s the answer: this is our society and it would be immoral to reap the rewards without defending it for others to reap also.

Nearby bus-stops and a police van soon became the subject of the rage of some “kettled” students. Students climbed on top of the van as red smoke bombs were hurled about, firecrackers were set-off and music blasted out throughout the crowd. At risk of reverting to the good student-bad student dichotomy, it has to be said that the majority of demonstrators there understood why the police had left the van behind. the back doors had been left unlocked and the contents, including blankets and riotgear, were soon utilised by activists. It was bitter cold, food and water were scarce as the pub weren’t letting anyone in without ID. It was clearly bait to give the right-wing press just what

it wants, lots of shots of young people desecrating public property. Just like the demonstration on November 10th, the “violence” condemned by the media and the NUS was vandalism, there was violence at the march and it was the police on horseback who were charging on civilians.

A bus-stop was set ablaze in one part of the street; protesters sung songs, danced to music or simply huddled around the fires for warmth in other parts. the firecrackers were set-off before sunset because no one really thought we would be there for as long as 8 or 9 hours. the police eventually provided two toilets, which were kept behind the line of police so many

Christmas: Lost to Commercialism?

Tanya Leonard 2nd year Undergraduate What does christmas mean? Is it just a festive season to be merry, where we are emotionally blackmailed into buying presents by corporate companies?

Or is it a religious tradition, which has now been lost? I feel that christmas has actually become more of a cultural holiday, rather than a religious one, where people celebrated the birth of christ. christmas has been arriving earlier and earlier every year at an increasingly worrying pace. It is obvious that christmas, along with other holidays, has recently become a massive marketing ploy for corporate companies and shops to advertise their ‘Perfect christmas gifts’ and must-haves of the season. Everywhere I go, I see christmas decorations and advertisements and you are bound to see at least one advert promoting seasonal products. In turn, this has a huge impact on the young, as increasingly children watching christmas tV adverts and becoming spoiled little brats, demanding the latest high tech gadgets such as the new iphone or Xbox. big businesses like microsoft know this is the best time to release their amazing new product in order to gain high profits.

Now I love christmas, don’t get me wrong, but lately it has just become a complete travesty! this year, christmas advertising began in August, shocking

many people. Society keeps caving into consumerism which is sad, because it just gets repetitive. It also seems like society always needs an event to advertise for, whether it is mother’s day, Father’s day, Valentine’s day, Easter or halloween. Fair enough, mark all these holidays but is it necessary to go overboard with the continuous in-your-face advertising? there is no escaping as the adverts are everywhere, on tubes, television, internet, billboards, and shop windows! It just commercialises the events and allows companies to take advantage of people by ramming it down our throats!

though ‘they are aware it is early, they are just responding to public demand.’ but it is clear that all they are interested in is making profits and targeting tourists who are the easiest to sell to. retailers rely on the holiday season for a third of their yearly revenue. Another reason the items sell are because they are sold at reasonably cheap prices, and people realise that when it comes closer to the festive season, prices will soar due to the high demand and competitiveness to finish christmas shopping.

It looks as if sometime in the future soon, christmas products will be sold throughout the year.

In September, a friend and I walked into the co-operative to buy chocolates and there on the shelves, were mince pies and the cheapest chocolates being sold were christmas chocolates. I bought them, having no intention of saving the chocolates for christmas, but simply because they were the most cost effective! I mean, who buys mince pies in September? As if all this wasn’t irritating enough, I had to endure christmas songs being played in the background.

call me Scrooge, but I think it is completely ridiculous that christmas cards and calendars arrive in shops early, because we end up having nothing left to look forward to and the idea of christmas just gets strung out and boring! We have lost the significance of christmas and many people believe that it has become less special when it actually arrives, which I am inclined to agree with.

Another example of this is when halloween was approaching in October, shops were graced with both christmas and halloween products, although there were more christmas products available than halloween items. there was even a display of Santa and a witch, sitting next to each other in a store window. Is it me or is something very wrong with this picture? Next we’ll be seeing the Easter bunny sitting on Santa’s lap! how about we get halloween and bonfire night out of the way before the decorations go up and we start jumping straight to christmas?

Other shops, including harrods and Selfridges, opened their seasonal sales in August and started selling christmas decorations five months early. children were being persuaded to visit the newly opened Santa’s Grotto in Selfridges. I was completely horrified, since it was the height of summer and people were still enjoying summer holidays and the sunshine! the retailers argued that al-

relieved themselves against the local architecture. It became apparent that only the press were allowed to come and go, no protesters were allowed out unless they were 12 or younger or had a medical condition. the word ‘revolution’ was sprayed in red onto a wall as a few students ascended it to escape the unending “kettling”. Veteran activists climbed onto walls and gave speeches, seeking to inspire the next generation to not be deterred by the unpleasant side of protest and to continue to actively resist these cuts. the demonstrations of ‘Day X’ have roused talk of a return to the radicalism of ’68 and the kind of grass-roots action that toppled ted heath and later helped shunt thatcher out of governIt seems that marketers and retailers have taken the fun and magic out of christmas with their imposed ideals. there is this major emphasis and pressure on preparation and spending vast amounts money buying gifts that people don’t even need. Nevertheless, many people feel that it is good having extra planning time and a prolonged period for christmas. there are other things one could spend their time doing instead of planning months in advance. It is like planning your friend’s birthday and the presents you will buy for them a year before. Now where’s the fun in that? the new traditions being set also now include talent competitions and watching which ‘loser’ out of X Factor will be the next christmas number one. but after a few months, they are easily forgotten. christmas has also become a competition of who can sell the most singles. however, last year an anti-corporate campaign was launched whereby rage Against the machine’s Killing in the Name Of reached number one in order to break the sequence and express people’s anger at the

ment. those administrations collapsed under the pressure of industrial action and the transition of demonstrations to riots. but it is sad to note that the student movement is becoming factional. the way in which Aaron Porter and the NUS have distanced themselves from student activism, particularly demonstrations and occupations, is divisive and destructive. For the sake of unity, Porter should at least be in solidarity with the students who demonstrated on ‘Day X’ and occupied buildings across the country. the next two days of walkouts, occupations and marches will take place on tuesday and Sunday this week. Aaron Porter should be behind the student activism in full-swing to further the cause. hopefully he’ll act in the best interests of students this week.

commercialisation of the music industry.

Finally, as I mentioned before, the meaning of christmas is now replaced with materialistic views due to the increase of consumerism and celebrity obsessions. Although some traditions such as the christmas lights in Oxford Street remain a tradition, these are also being put up too early. but I do admit, they look amazing and really do raise the christmas spirit! Do I think christmas has been destroyed by commercialisation? Yes, but whether people agree or not is entirely up to them, since today, things are whatever you make it to be. truth is, christmas wouldn’t start so early if people didn’t buy the goods.

10

WEDNESDAY 8TH DECEMBER | THE LION

COMMENT Why Bob Crow, Gerry Doherty and their Cronies are Sh*t LADs Chris Nicholson VP Development So this year the tube strikes are over what is deemed to be “safe Tube staffing levels” with the plans to cut 800 jobs, mainly from ticket offices. Last year it was about pay and working conditions, and the year before it was probably over whether members should be allowed to have casual Fridays.

It may be of note here that London Underground has promised no compulsory redundancies and no loss of earnings. Mike Brown of London Underground was quoted as; “no individual who wants to stay with LU will lose their job or see a reduction in pay”. There only remains a further 250 ear-marked cuts to be made, meaning that this strike is becoming obviously increasingly futile as in this time of austerity, savings have to be made and services streamlined. The implementation of the oyster card system has seen a huge drop in ticket sales, with some offices seeing less than 10 sales an hour. It is rightly seen as an area where savings can be made, as the service in certain stations is no longer required.

So what are the safety concerns voiced by the Unions? The R.M.T. and the T.S.S.A claim that if ticket offices are shut, then there will be no safe haven for passengers at night, even if there are staff at the station. This claim is held by their respected (if not respectable) leaders, in opposition to the view

that the increased C.C.T.V. coverage of the London Underground network means that less people are inclined to commit crime, if they are likely to be recorded doing so. Even if so, the loss of 800 mainly ticket office staff does not mean that stations will be completely devoid of staff during operating hours, just that there will be less ticket offices open into the evening.

Unfortunately I cannot buy Bob Crow’s apparently ‘valid reason’ for the strike.

Bob Crow is busy having a shout and a moan and generally reminding us all that his penis is in fact longer than all of ours (Joe Walsh’s included) put together (I would have used sabre rattling but swords are no longer allowed at strikes so the phallus reference will have to do). Bob Crow is a dinosaur trapped in the past, where shouting and striking at an inconvenient moment once every couple of months meant that the Union leader was doing a good job; all Bob Crow is managing to do is to alienate the R.M.T. and the T.S.S.A (by association) further from the commuter and from City Hall as well as making me late for lectures.

I have a greater sympathy for the BBC journalists who recently staged a 48 hour walk out over the proposals to reduce their pension scheme despite it failing, somewhat ironically, to gain as much media coverage in the days leading up to the strike as a tube strike. This increased amount of sympathy might have something to do with the fact that it did not inconvenience me as much as a tube strike, but equally that they

belong to a union which doesn’t strike over whether pink wafers will be served in the staff room, or whichever trivial issue has occurred this week in order to remind us that they still exist.

It was suggested in The Daily Mail that the trade unions should be sued by those who had the unfortunate task of getting to work during a tube strike. I would like to sound a note of caution here for although The Daily Hate And Fear is usually the most sensible and rational of all the national papers, a trade union if it legally calls and conducts a strike has statutory immunity from any legal action brought against it. Although Bob Crow and his employed team of lawyers know how to call a strike legally does not mean that it is right to do so, with under a third of the R.M.T. Union members actually voting in favour of the strike; it seems that Bob Crow no longer has the overwhelming support of his Union but is still able to call a strike.

It has become apparent that the management of London Underground seem more than happy to wait out the strike and maintain their line than to cave in to the demands of a trade Union leader who takes a market wage. It now remains to see who shall win out in this protracted battle of wills, the talks that were scheduled for the 4th November ultimately failed as the T.S.S.A. refused to attend, meaning that only the R.M.T. attended in order to demand no job losses . It seems that the political theatre shall continue.

A Mature Opinion Thomas Kingston st 1 year Undergraduate I personally find the idea of walkouts and protesting rather childish, we’re students not workers that provide essential services, so us walking out hardly cripples the country. Striking just draws attention to the fact that a number of people have decided to throw their toys out of the pram and have a temper tantrum over “betrayal” by the Lib Dems, unless most people haven’t noticed the Lib Dems didn’t get enough votes to form their own government so therefore are in a coalition and like most relationships between adults (due to the scenes i’ve witnessed adult behaviour is not something a number of students are familiar with) the coalition relies on compromise to work and one thing that has been compromised is education funding. Is breaking into buildings, vandalising police vehicles and throwing fireworks and horses how students should be represented?

These protests are in fact taking a stand

against the democratic process of our country, 57 Lib Dem MP’s were elected, leaving a majority of seats in the hands of parties who support higher fees, so democratically the abolishment of tuition fees would be “betraying” the democratic process and the electors of 593 constituencies? Is this what students want? To leave and ignore the voice of the people? Do the radicals really think, that behaving like children who can’t get their favourite toy when both parents say no and can’t afford it, will do their cause any favours.

I’m tired of having a few people (even though protestors numbers seem large they are still a tiny fraction of UK students) tar the name of the hardworking and mature majority who accept that things are the way they are.

I personally favour the establishment of alternative reasonable alternatives to the seemingly radically dominated NUS and ULU as since these are just as equally mine as the raging left wingers and “liberals” surely they should represent my views too? Have a problem with the Government? Vote differently at the next election, thats how most adults deal with the situation.

C**T! Ms Mollie Puttock 2nd year Undergraduate Firstly, as a sideline to my main article I have decided to express my thoughts of the rebuttal featured in the last issue of The Lion. I would firstly like to thank you, Jesus Foghorn, as I write these articles to cause a little controversy, to make people think and perhaps to evoke a smile or two. I am very happy to receive rebuttals and comments. I would like to assure you that I do not see prostitution or any type of sex work as being glamorous, it is of course a horrible thing to have to do I was just trying to make people think twice before condemning these women (and men) as bad people. It should also be noted that I was in no way saying that prostitution “is a bold step forward for feminism”. Yes, I am a strong believer in equality but this was not my point.

Also, from my own background being a young woman in the lower class system and understanding the way sex has taken place not only in my life but also in that of my friends (a few of which I know to have worked in varying parts of the sex industry), perhaps I simply have a completely different view to the private school boy who has travelled to Amsterdam.

Now I would like to ask you how you would feel if I was to use the C-word in front of you? I am of course phrasing it as the C-word as it is difficult to publish otherwise. I am sure if I was to

survey the effects of using the C-word, there would be many different reactions ranging from those of you who would be shocked and upset to those who would not be bothered at all. I myself am in two minds about the use of the word, the feminist in me is split to wanting to say the word constantly to stop its value and on the other hand to only use it rarely to continue its severity.

The C-word has been used for hundreds of years, firstly as a descriptive or naming word for female genitalia.

The usage of it then changed to mean a woman of ill repute, and then to modern day where it can be used as a name or to describe something or someone, making it interchangeable within language just as many swear words have.

To me the word is a noun, it simply explains a part of every woman’s anatomy and this is the reason why I would like the word to be used more as there is nothing shameful or wrong about a vagina. If I was to call someone a dickhead the person involved would not be half as annoyed as if I called them a c**t, now I do not understand why either male or female genitalia is seen as offensive but even more so as to why a vagina is deemed worse than a penis.

This could be for many reasons such as social, religious or cultural understandings. Yet, on the other hand, I do enjoy the way in which there is a word that links to the female that has so much power, and it is great to use such a word on a very chauvinistic male!

Got something to say? To get a comment article published, send it to comment@theheythroplion.co.uk

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“COMMECOMMENT NT.”

WEDNESDAY 8th DEcEmbEr | THE LION

WEDNESDAY

I Simply Love You : A Rebuttal to “I Love You like a Ball and Chain” Gala Jackson-Coombs comment Editor When Fran first told me she was writing an article on the pros of arranged marriage, I was fascinated as to what insight she might uncover. I must admit, after reading the article, I was left thinking there were even less pros to arranged marriage than I first thought.

As lovely and eye-opening it is to have a muslim man’s opinion on the issue, I would have liked to see some other people’s views referenced in the article, especially as it is the women’s side of arranged marriage I take greater issue with. Also, arranged marriage isn’t just prevalent in the muslim community, many different religions encourage inter-family marriage to continue their beliefs, such as hinduism and mormonism. most of the article justifies arranged marriage because love itself just isn’t enough for a marriage to work. I agree. marriage cannot just be based on love; it must also be based on mutual respect and the agreement that both parties will work their hardest to make it work. however, this is the same with all marriages, and I am somewhat bewildered by the implication that unarranged marriages are in some way less responsible and more “luxurious” than those arranged by your parents. most couples court each other for years before making the decision to marry (like Prince William and Kate middleton), it is hardly taken rashly and it is taken in

the knowledge that you love and know your other half, possibly having previous relationships which you eventually deemed unsuitable for marriage. the argument that the idea of marrying for love is a relatively modern one is both untrue and irrelevant. many of those who were married in the past heard fairytales and dreamed of romance, but were never able to have the “luxury” of love because they were married off to the highest bidder. I’m sure most, given the choice, would have married for love not money. Secondly, just because we did something in the past in no way means that it is a justified way to behave now.

It used to be ok to pour excrement away out of your window, it used to be illegal to perform homosexual acts, and we used to be able to hang people for their crimes. Yet, we wouldn’t consider those things acceptable by today’s standards.

I am not saying arranged marriage is as appalling as the death penalty, I’m just saying this is no way to justify it. my next point is that it is unnecessary to marry someone of your ethnicity or religious background to necessitate the continuation of your culture. many couples I know thrive on theological debates from their separate religions and celebrate both their cultures and viewpoints. I would say most people are open-minded, and will respect your views, beliefs, culture and opinions. So why would you limit yourself and your future happiness based on race and religion? Surely that is somewhat narrow minded. It is hardly enough to justify marrying a cousin, or make that in any

Civilised Society?

Marc Crosby st 1 year Undergraduate It was around the time that Gillian mcKeith’s corpse-like body was dragged out of a make-shift grave swarming with rats that I began to question exactly what I was watching. the particularly unhealthy looking doctor, and star of ItV1’s ‘I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here’, had indeed fainted due to some form of anxiety attack whilst partaking in a Bush Tucker Trial. As medical experts swarmed around her, pumping her with oxygen and air, the bite-size duo Ant and Dec were clearly forcing back a grin. that’s right fellas; you’ve caused a middle-aged woman’s body to enter into a state of fear-induced shock! Well done! Ant and Dec, by the way, are now the public face of british torture. Sure, I laughed with the rest of them at Paul burrell doing what looked like his impression of a toad reaching climax, but for three weeks Ant and Dec schoolboyishly fight back the laugher whilst some celebrity undergoes some god-awful act in the deluded belief that this will further their career (“If I eat a Kangaroo’s Phallus thEN the british Public will love me”). the worrying thing is, of course, the audience is laughing with them!

Let’s be honest, a quick glance at our entertainment industry shows it ain’t all Disney movies is it? In fact, the hype surrounding the release of the painstakingly uninspired call of Duty: black-Ops (seriously, when will gamers

get bored of paying annually to shoot each other in the face over an internet connection and instead play a game with an ounce of creativity?) reveals a particularly sobering thought; millions of people de-stress by carrying out pixel-murder. this was predominantly brought to our attention when coD: modern Warfare 2 enabled you to partake in playing as an undercover agent (yes that reads UNDErcOVEr to all those news outlets who grossly misrepresented this story) in a terrorist organisation committing an airport massacre (fun right…?). A small media frenzy followed, with one commentator saying she was “brought to tears”. Although the phrase ‘grow a pair’ may be aptly applied here, I can’t help but feel this wasn’t just a GIGANtUAN lack of judgment on the part of the game developers, but a cynical view that some people (read testosterone driven sexually repressed young-males and sick bastards) may like the power of playing as a villain, even if the villain in this case is insanely close to tragedies unfolding around us today. Equally, the latest medal of honour game is virtually paralleling the war being played out as we speak; I mean what greater sign of respect can be shown to the hero’s dying for their country than making a cracking good shoot-em-up out of it, so that Joe bloggs can experience the joy of taking a life during the horror of war? (Oh, and in case that wasn’t enough, you can play as the terrorists in multiplayer…charming!) many of the big movie releases of the

way palatable.

“I love you l

Francesca Go sling 2nd year Under graduate

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17TH NOVEMB

Edited by Gal

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“Home-made yoghurt is mor ible than som © scholesyfynn eone else’s curd e digestfamily members This old Turk led ish saying, supp milk”. ticular boy force . She quotes one parjustifying inter -family marriage osedly 16 in Septemb d to marry at the age of really add muc doesn’t er h to the image when you have 2005: “it’s really bad, modern west most of us to erne sex with a relat force yourself to have idea of arranged rs already get of the marriages. Our scenarios, bein ive...it’s sick”. In these common reac most g tion family there is so far from friends and of recoil in horr tends to be some sort very little one get out of it. can do to are antiquate or. All we can picture Som d etimes these are tricked into ing underage scenes of families forcpeople girls and boys on holiday by the union by being sent rimony with into mattheir parents relatives or peop only their passport don’t like at le they s taken and be to have all with noth into marriage ing man ture of misery with a stranger acled to look forward but a furival on ar. This is all to. that such mar because of the belief But what a lot of us fail to close-knit fami riages will strengthen that some of lies these marriage realise is hugely importan as social cohesion is have evolved traditions alongside the munity in Germt to the Turkish comzation of wom modernien’s rights and cases the “vict any. Even in these individual freed general ims” have no ligation to go its most extre om. Fair enough, in through with legal obme and oldHowever, they the union. it as their duty forms, the conc fashioned are often blac to gratify in som kmailed or beaten and the ure the other riage (or rath ept of arranged marpres partner’s desi e meas- nerve-testing er, forced mar bear rom phen re”. ing family can sure from an overantic. omenon that How of wom prives both men riage) debe virtually, thou a lot en would not explicitly a result, you freedom to choo and women of their gh , inescapable. when that emo happily sacrifice! And are much less argument agai The main wake up one tional drain is likel During the voluntary com se and devalues the y to day nst from the equa ancient Mes mitment of two risk of restrictin this concept is the made complete and realise you have tion a woman removed opotamian period, for love for each persons’ the untapped at last has ly exam othe that couples like g gene pools: we worry freed let’s not forget, the wrong choice. And more like a busi ple, marriage was on what we mea r. But this depends stability to purs om and background ness transacti n when we talk ing babies with this will end up breedof the match of course, that the man ue her own purp freedom, choi on. The is whether thro six an iden toes indiv ce and, most impo about handose was essentially for tity or four noses. idual too! ArAgain, Al gave ugh ranged marriage a man love. Besides, rtantly, over his daug thing that does a career or just anyties him dow ther hter as property to ised, family expeme his, more westernBut the task n’t involve male another man of what we migh e are varying levels to of dating isn’t n young! ference! But riences. in interisn’t the pligh easy ride for always an mate heirs. Religorder to ensure legitimarriage” that t today call “arranged t of the sinthe gleton a nece don’t involve ion kicked in ssar of women prot guys, as much as a lot “If you are brou love had noth being frogmarched dow later but into such mod y stage in developing est that it is. ing to do with n the aisle with ght up in a ern coun it abou different unti and your head. Inste a bag over try from a cous t several hund l only savvy Perhaps. But in you are to ad it can even red years ago. the lessons one women? Another it’s not really course we’ve as a blessing marry Of male from an early can learn the same. I know all read fairy with many adva be seen mar of first cousins stories and have to admit friend of mine, who I Ancient Gree ntages! a pair dervalued. Ima riage must not be unk myths that who were enco is a genuine gine you agre show gooey, marry by their gentleman, described the besotted coup uraged to A young doct som e to dating process eone with who les mar or cause they are families; maybe it’s befor men as other...but have finding love in each m you are perh ry “long, arduous a large Muslim friend of mine, Al, from not relat one and aps to hundred per costly” and it much in common ed that they have so tends to be whe you noticed that this time “takes cent compatib that the poin family explained to me with – maybe n but they get le whic to break down a girl’s wall t of he ingly and are rialistically com both parties are mateh he means s” the modern worl arranged marriage in with you or he never wants to go out another one on amazpatible? Ther getting to know (by pies d (in his cultu plays terrible of the hapand gain her few stori e are very t and most preserve the her loudly or perh music too trust). So may Islamic commun re) is to is perm es where the prince or prin aps he’s just I have ever seenheart-warming couples through with country where cess itted to actually awkward. If sexually... an arranged mar be going .” Even this notio it is an ethnic ity in a they have you mar cons alrea ry way riage the anguineous matr to successfully dy commit your n of slave I sat in his car minority. the affair with self before thes skip these nast is a seem - for men contemplatin ! primitive and imony, which can y bits as he added g the idea just as well as surface you are e little horrors start to cruel in some that women!Anoth prob does bene ably n’t cases, This particula fit ally for the pare the tradition is usunece mor of er find yourself arranged mar ssarily have to r road-trip with learning how e likely to as it may riage, as crue be quite so sickening. the day before Al was on eroned meetingnts to organise a chapto soun l these things his own date and find a stronlook past can provide d on the surface, is that organised for with a girl date – with som – much like a blind it mor with ger e deep certa and the him er bond. Hop In his opinion, more unfortun inty a partner for sister. “The who by his mother and out from anot eone they have picked efully. ate among her family of quite frankly, any arranged “the only problem with in Islam is diffe le concept of marriage background after similar wouldn’t stan us who, Al explained marriage is that to d a chance on their own. very family use it to begi rent,” he told me, “we it is still count their own having taken into acthat “the mos me his similar opinion orientated as n t it is traditional in Islam two people ratha relationship between interests in a child’s preferences and marriage relat important thing in a er partner. If the than to ions sanc families. This to have large close-knit I went to scho that hip is for two goes well the tify one to learn abou ol with a pers people means that if couple usually meeting in has already been establishe t each on have rum a couple who numbers and othe this case does d”. But oured to have a problem it rs’ differences was and really reac arrange anotherexchange into can be really one not risk an arranged h keep riage an et cetera. If hard to unde getti it mee a mar and I always private from the relations rstanding of ng ting one another it thought rest of the fam– ily and to just probably mor won’t, in fact, hip with someone they the next one! doesn’t, well, bring on rally after this. real love comes natue of a bless this was fall in love with But ing than a It also means sort it out themselves.

Of course, curse. This all, let’s not rangements alwa the meetings and arit is hard to particular pers that I would forget, divorce ? After distinguish betweven then tremely be under a lot of pressure on was exsituations is intention of mar ys take place with the in these awk is een ward love virtu and wha and what has and had been riage in mind criticism from own family if leaves both part ally impossible and start. kept so just become rou-t sheltered by her from the my tine, but this I chos very religious is a from a different e to marry a woman that she was in a much undeies (women especially) parents marriage. My risk anyone takes with just not com grandmother if they do acce culture to ours, even fortable in social situations grace. And is sired position of disOften, people was forced to marry and the pressure criticise that my grandpar to make.” Thenpt that it is my choice intelligent enou . And she wasn’t quite to not end up in such the the parents the happiest ents were gh to know how again, most of kick-start ever fact that pression a state a form of fema and have with mos us to deal close fami them regardles le opt loving coup who wrong in itsel ything is that we cann I know. I thin le ate, f ot accept in this complication lies will admit that the day and age? but had that s. Maybe I exaggerchild’s independbecause it restricts the had the time k this is because they of to really get to relatives isn’t over-bearing and nosey ranged marriage person not had an aring them the ence by not even allowgrow to love know and spec chan each other.” riages. Perhaps, ific to arranged marprobably have in process she would Yet in most mod partner. But this ce to find their own So, if the case, does such a marriage this is to find a part struggled considerably positive obstacle, in a way it presents a that a woman’s ern scenarios the idea fact that the insti complaint ignores the soun ner d reall more mise she y thing tution of mar that when they encouraging couples ing undervalu right to choose is bein common with really had somebeen around riage has the single wom rable than the life of really do have ed doesn’t have for on her own! an greement of a disacase. Today the idea of love thousands of years and insecurities and still battling with her som women do not to be the them to face the e kind, it’s only up to But does any more rights, only have most importan and choice being the to find the perf impossible standards music and danc but of t ect man? e. tion of consanguthis justify the instituthem. In mos they are also aware of modern! Goo factors is actually fairly t of these arra gle any articles ineo us (inte So ngements a marriage? Agai woman r-family) gin and definition when we cons on the I think not. Part n there are man ider all of thes of marriage and ori- a man has the freedom to turn ly tors, som due ly will you find y gruee tales of this e facarranged down to the fact that rareshe really does there is an actu anything abou happening n’t like. Furleast a sligh marriage becomes at modern Euro ther particular favo t riage in the firstal reason for your martly less vom pean countries in other urite of mine, “love”. A famimore, she is legally able to place that goes it-in concept. Of as our own, on oldandsold.com mer leave a ly that inten a romantic course we cann ducing where young , as well beyond ely whim makes the more extre people are pressured by though it wou ds to force her – even ot matrimony “imp states that the bond of it cally more likel me and inhuman ignore ld be by no mea lies the righ y not to end in statisti- relatives as their family into marrying but when the On the othe intercourse” e cases, ns easy!

Whether it is close divo pain r hand, agre and even goes t of sexual rce. they as first cousins for eing to take gle life outweigh of dating or the sinpart in arranged as far as to suggest that have been who benefit of your the financial or social part family this is, tradition seem s the pleasure, such a Spiegel Online brought up with. In a ed bonus of rem marriage has the addmate as to “gen ners become so intistill more mor arguably, s erally speaking ally and reasonab to provide a pragmatic ports how in article, Katrin Elger relife the dreaded oving from a woman’s , regard riage for the sake acceptable than marle countries like drama of datin in cultures and solution...particularly youn of, say, an accid Germany, g – a pregnancy or ental from g men or women are situa just to be rebe freed impo om to explore tions where the places such llious. As as Turkey to rted idyllic our romantic suitable husb mak imag and e e of love is an ands and wive unaffordable – and, much s, often for less, desirable – “luxury”.

Also, apparently there are different levels of arranged marriage. I am content with parents setting up “blind dates” for their children, and introducing them to prospective partners, but I feel that is not really arranged marriage, to the extent a friend introducing you to someone she thinks you would be perfect with isn’t an arranged marriage. As most of us know, these suggestions are very rarely helpful, as your friends never know you as well as you know you. the same applies with your parents. however close they are to you, you will always know better.

It shows your child very little respect to believe they cannot decide on their own life partner. It is not the setting up I disagree with, but the situations in where the couple feel pressured, almost forced to get married to appease the family. there have been situations in this country in the past few years where women have been killed for refusing to marry men they have been betrothed to, or for running off with another man, because they brought “shame” on their family.

Pressure of any kind to marry a certain way is wrong, the same way I would feel my family pressuring me to marry a white non-religious man would be wrong. Whatever religion or race my future husband is, that is of my choosing.

I think it is the idea of seeing love as a luxury that one can do without is what I cannot accept, call me a hopeless royear, from the bowels of mediocrity itself The A-Team to the utter crapfest that was The Expendables, people find escapist value in the protagonists butchering hundreds of henchman; and, admit it, who’s not hoping for a particularly gory death for the lead villain? It’s almost as if the villains are made more unlikable so that the audience can get more pleasure out of their sadistic end. Of course there are the real nasty movies, the sicko’s dream ‘Hostel’, and the stomach churning, just make sure you don’t do it into my orifice, ‘The Human Centipede’. however, hopefully one watches these films with an ironic view of the depravity on show, or else are we not as morally bankrupt as the film’s lead villains? can no-one else see the irony in watching a movie about torture voyeurism for the ‘gory’ (good) scenes?

Don’t worry, I’m not going all mary Whitehouse on you, or suggesting that it is censorship that is needed (although should people who enjoy ‘The Expendables’ really be given the vote…. rEALLY…?) I’m merely suggesting that us homo-sapiens are much more unhinged than we often think we are.

Sure, we’ve written sickly love songs, cheesy rom-coms and created Super mario games (games that are ActUALLY good), but that doesn’t rid us of our darker nature, the nature that secretly thinks the above listed things are namby-pamby, something to mature out of for the real good stuff. We laugh at celebrity torture, we relax killing virtual enemies and we escape watching the deaths of many at the movies. make of that what you will, but I better go, right now Gillian mcKeith is about to tackle another trial…and maybe this time she’ll do more than faint.

mantic who idolises fairytales, but I think most people would agree that it is important in a relationship. I know feelings can build, after you have married a person, but what if they don’t? Some people are incompatible, and it is impossible to know for sure if the person is perfect for you unless you know then reasonably well. Furthermore, the idea that this is a preferable option to dating is absurd. Yes, it means you suffer heartbreak sometimes, but isn’t it better to suffer it now rather than get married and suffer an even more painful divorce? Dating is awkward, terrifying and exciting. You alone are in control of who you end up spending your life with. to insinuate that there are ugly people, who might benefit from an arranged marriage, doesn’t make much sense, either. beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and I would like to believe there is someone out there for everyone, and marriage is based on more than just the superficial. Also, mar-

riage is not contractual, just because they agreed to marry you in no way means that they have to stay with you. Usually, if you think you aren’t gifted in the looks department it’s usually about your own self esteem rather than you being unattractive. the best way to ensure you live happily ever after is to get to know your partner, and let them get to know you, both inside and out. to conclude, arranged marriage is an option for some, but not necessarily an attractive one. As far as I can see, there are few benefits over that of traditional marriage, except for your parents being more involved which can be as much a con as it is a pro. the best advice I could give is to trust your own judgement and make your choices.

Family can be helpful as guides and introducing you to prospective partners, but it should always be you making the decisions.

12

WEDNESDAY 8th DEcEmbEr | THE LION

CuLTUrE

Music: Kanye West My Beautiful Twisted Dark Fantasy Almaz Messenger

2nd year Undergraduate he’s back. Fresh from the most famous interruption in the world ever, some pricey teeth/diamond swaps and a high profile relationship with a shapely, bald blonde Kanye West offers up his latest LP complete with a full-length feature film and some imaginative artwork. It’s certainly not the melancholy diversion of 808s and heartbreaks. my beautiful twisted Dark Fantasy is a return to Kanye’s ingenious use of sampling and hip-hop hooks and riffs worthy of stadium status and returns to the feel of his earlier stuff. but more grown up, more developed. And darker.

Unlike other artists who chuck big names willy-nilly all over their albums, it is clear for Kanye his selection of artists is careful. Each track sounds like it has been thoughtfully crafted. From the haunting collaboration on ‘Up in the World’ which samples the equally great ‘the Woods’ by bon Iver to the laid back sung/rapped hook of ‘Gorgeous’ provided by Kid cudi, it is clear each artist has been chosen specifically for the feel of the song. ‘All of the Lights’ hits you (with the help of a bombastic slew of big artists including rihanna, Elton John, Drake, Fergie and Elly Jackson of La roux fame), with an equally bombastic brass riff and very creative layering of instruments and use of breaks.

Lyrically, West still stays on the ball and distinct. ‘So Appalled’ contains a stripped back, arguably generic hip

hop beat provided by Swizz beats, and joined by other big boys Jay Z and Pusha t, Kanye relies on his lyrics to carry the interest. ‘Devil in a New Dress’ feels very much like Kanye’s earlier production on ‘Slow Jamz’, all those years ago with twista (whatever happened to him?!).

It is evident that Kanye still thinks he is God’s gift to the world with lines such as ‘Address me as Your highness, high as united / thirty thousand feet up and you are not invited’, but also realises that he is, indeed, an arrogant arsehole as seen in his track ‘runaway’ which is an ode to, well, all the douchebags of this world. ‘monster’ is exceptionally egotistical, Kanye simply asking ‘have you ever had sex with a Pharaoh?’. characteristically modest, as ever. however in all his big-headed rantings, it’s clear on this album that he knows just how much of an idiot he can be. many of the lyrics, sometimes sung by other artists, become rather dark. It’s like a journey into the mind of West – Egocentric and attention-grabbing but reflective. And sometimes a little mad.

Scratch that, plain barmy taking into account the deranged imagery in ‘monster’, all rapped without the use of an Eminem-esque alter ego.

It’s worth checking out the ‘runaway’ film. It’s thirty minutes long, features an impossibly beautiful woman clad in a few artistically placed feathers, around 40 ballet dancers, a soundtrack which is great (apart from Nicki minaj’s cringe-worthy posh-to-mockney at-

The Student Hob: A Christmas Cocktail Francesca Gosling 2nd year Undergraduate Welcome, everyone, to the last hob, and last Lion, of 2010! Although christmas hasn’t quite arrived yet there can be no mistaking the jingling of approaching sleigh bells and roy Wizzard as our December calendars gradually fill up with parties and shopping dates. When hosting a party of your own, however, we almost always underestimate just how many hours of rushing around and prepping it takes to stun everyone with our festive culinary skills! So I came up with a few ideas for some creative christmassy canapés that are as simple to make as they are to enjoy. but, of course, you can’t have a real christmas party without some homemade tipple! So I asked a couple of beautiful friends for their favourite festive flavours and concocted a fruity Yule cocktail - for those strange nonmulled wine drinkers among you – of my own which could only be affectionately named...a “Naughty Little Elf”.

Naughty Little Elf

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In a saucepan gently heat two cartons of classic, unsweetened cranberry juice with a few cloves, grated orange zest, a couple of cinnamon sticks and some apple slices. Keep the pan warm all evening and serve with two shots of Amaretto and a splash of cointreau per glass. measures for this recipe are really a judgement call as it depends on taste and the amount of people you are serving. this recipe fills about 12 average glasses – just enough for three or four of you to get a little jolly!

Now for some nibbles: Cheese-Berry Crackers Unroll a sheet of Jus’ roll puff pastry onto a floured surface and cut it into 12 squares. In the middle of each piece place 1 heaped teaspoon of grated cheese and top with ½ teaspoon of jarred cranberry sauce. Now roll the square into a tube shape and pinch in the pastry on either side of the blob of filling to form christmas cracker shapes. tie with trimmed chives, brush over with a little milk and bake until golden brown.

Or alternatively...

tempt at an English accent in the intro, although she partly redeems herself in ‘monster’) and some utterly appalling acting from Kanye himself. this album works because Kanye knows what he is doing and executes it

If you prefer a more carnivorous canapé then replace the cheese with some herby sausage stuffing mix and swap the cranberry sauce with a thin apple slice.

Baileys’ Tarts With your fingertips, rub together 100g plain flour; 20g caster sugar; 55g cubed unsalted butter and a pinch of salt in a large mixing bowl until the mixture looks like soft breadcrumbs. then stir in 25g cocoa powder. Using a widebladed knife mix in 3 tablespoons of cold water (more if necessary) until you have a ball of dough. Wrap the ball in cling film and leave in the fridge to chill for 15-30 minutes before rolling it out onto a floured surface to about ½ cm thick. cut into circles big enough to line the cups of a well-greased muffin tray (no pun intended, you naughty, naughty children). bake in a pre-heated oven for 15 minutes and allow to cool. Just before serving use an electric whisk to whip a tub of whipping cream into soft peaks. then add 3 shots of your favourite flavour of baileys and fold into the cream for a few seconds so it isn’t completely mixed in but has a rippled effect.

Fill each tart with a tablespoon of the cream mixture, dust with cocoa powder and serve. have a wonderful, sparkly christmas!

almost flawlessly. It’s thought through but not over thought, he has tried his hardest but hasn’t come across as too try-hard. his unfaltering ego does become a little overbearing at times but without it he wouldn’t be the Kanye we all love/hate so much. Added points for

the line ‘I’m Socrates, but my skin more chocolatey’ in ‘See me Now’. I’m sorry though; I have to deduct points for the unforgivable ‘Nicki’s-horrible-attemptat-an-English-accent’ fiasco and the ‘Kanye-acting-worse-than-a-woodenplank-in-the-feature-film’ situation.

Comedy: Bill Bailey Dandelion Minds Katie Plumb Sport & Socs Editor Everyone has that Uncle, you know, the one who bought you amazing presents when you were a kid, funny songs and magic-thumb-tricks being his forte. A trip to a bill bailey gig is like a visit to your favourite Uncle, comfortable in his presence and eagerly awaiting his antics with wide-eyed wonder. the theme of his show is doubt –‘or is it?’ he asks. A fair chuck of time was spent on voicing his thoughts on the conDem coalition, drug legalisation and particle physics. ‘monday’, as bailey affectionately dubbed us, was fortunate enough to have a particle physicist in the audience to enlighten us about the ‘God Particle.’ religion and evolution were also discussed at length with

humorous banter between bailey and the audience. the musical interludes were fabulous as always; a treat to be looked forward to. I can never forget PokerFace in the style of the Wurzels (they are worth a Google for their West country goodness!) the Nick clegg Prostitute song is a classic bailey insight of the current times, ‘you don’t have to wear that dress tonight…..you don’t have sell your body to the right.’ bailey’s wit and charisma charged the show. celeb spotting is pretty lush in Kensington but I may well venture West to hammersmith to see if I can spy bailey in his natural environment, chilling out in record shops such as ‘the Vinyl Solution’ and correcting grammar of street signs. many refer to Stephen Fry as a ‘national treasure’, I personally think bailey more than competes for the title, he trumps Fry every time- no doubt about it.

Seen a good film/band? Send us a review to culture@theheythroplion. co.uk

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WEDNESDAY 8TH DECEMBER | THE LION

Culture

Music: A Whole New Pride of Lions Amy Simpson 3 year Undergraduate rd

Whenever someone mentions that they are going to a gig in Camden the immediate reaction is to think Gothic Underworld and extreme alternative bands screaming death metal down a microphone to a crowd of pierced, velvet-clad teenagers. This may be true for some venues but Camden has come a long way from the above stereotype in the past decade.

Enter Proud Galleries, a wonderfully quaint venue situated in the Stables Courtyard. The walkway leading up to the entrance can only be described as magical; think fairy lights and cobbled streets. Originally used to care for sick horses (cue awww), the building

was erected in 1850, and its 10,000 sq feet has been the home to some pretty iconic artists including Pete Doherty, The Kooks, Stereophonics, The View and Dirty Pretty Things, to name but a handful. I also have it on good authority, for all you Twilight fans, R Pattz hangs out there on a regular basis.

Like A Lion were headlining. It is a real testimony to promoters who can handle all of life’s little dramas that tend to be thrown in the way every now and then. Shifting the line-up is no easy feat when you have a crowd to please, but please they did.

If Proud has struck a chord with you then I heartily recommend you head on down there every second Wednesday for an ‘I (HEART) PROMOTIONS’ night. Relatively new to the music scene, I (HEART) have been hosting an evening at Proud since June this year and boy, can they deliver.

Kicking off the evening were the delightful Archie Wah Wahs, an Indie/ Alternative band from our beautiful London town. They had a fun, catchy sound, with the lead singer having a deep, rich tone accompanied with delightful backing harmonies. Definitely no complaints there, they managed to get the crowd up on their feet.

Having been to a handful of their events in the past I was lucky enough to be there on November 17th. I figured it would be a spectacular evening as Out

Following them was the amazingly talented Out Like A Lion. An aesthetically pleasing foursome from Bath, they are definitely a band worth keeping your

Film: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt. 1 Sartaj Singh 2nd year Undergraduate “These are dark times, there is no denying” says Rufus Scrimgeour with a hint of a quiver in his voice at the start of Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows. That line sets up what is the penultimate Harry Potter movie in the long running and popular franchise.

With Dumbledore dead, Voldemort quickly rising to power, the wizarding and muggle worlds are under threat and the only one who can save them is Harry Potter, who may have found a way to destroy Lord Voldemort forever. Right from the start this movie felt quite different than any other prior Harry Potter movie. Gone is the sense of wonder, the schoolboy antics and coming of age story that permeated the other movies.

In its place, we are given a movie where danger is lurking around every corner, the stakes are high and the world has become a whole lot bigger than the three main characters. The movie is directed by David Yates who has two other Harry Potter movies under his belt, these being “Order of the Phoenix” and “Half Blood Prince”. While his previous endeavours have been a mixed bag for me, Deathly Hallows is his best directed Potter film and I think that is because this movie finally plays to his strengths as a director. Coming from doing mostly dramas for the BBC, Yates’ strongest point is doing projects that are very earnest in tone and in previous movies that didn’t really fit with Harry Potter as the movies needed to be whimsical and charming. But because of the nature of this film Yates’ direction is spot on. His decision to split the adaptation of the final book into two movies was a bold one as it allowed for making Harry Potter’s send off on film that bit more spectacular.

So this being a ‘Part One’ movie, how does it hold up as a standalone? In my opinion it is the best Harry Potter movie since my favourite movie in the

franchise, “Prisoner of Azkaban” which was just a cauldron of charm, wit, great characters, story and underlying darkness. It is what a Harry Potter movie should be. While this movie does not have the charm of that instalment, with its intriguing premise and the way the whole Potter universe is shaken up, it manages to deliver a wholly satisfying movie experience and by the end you will be clamouring for more as opposed to feeling cheated that you’re watching essentially half of a movie. While the movie does have a few weak performances its pacing, new musical score, direction and plot make it an essential watch.

Daniel Radcliffe is someone I have always had a slightly split opinion on. In some of the movies such as “Prisoner of Azkaban” and “Order of The Phoenix” he gives pretty good performances. However in other movies I feel as though he is not even trying and this being the second to last movie he was just okay. This is unfortunate since most of the film lies on his shoulders and I was expecting a much better performance from him than just average. I am not writing him off yet, because he may deliver a knockout performance in Deathly Hallows Part 2, but he was probably the most disappointing aspect of this movie.

The one performance that I say carries this movie is Emma Watson as Hermione. Right from her first scene when she makes that heart-breaking choice I was invested in her character. She is an integral part to the journey that Harry takes in this movie and along the way she has some great scenes. Ranging from good dramatic scenes where you can feel she is really caught between Harry and Ron, to some great comedic moments, some quite early on in the film, during the scenes in the Ministry and some along the bleak trek where she explains to Harry how her thinking works.

Rupert Grint as Ron has always been a consistent actor for me though too

eye on. Signed to EMI records, their songs are intelligently structured with a beautiful sound and just damn well enjoyable to listen to. Their album X Lovers will be available from early 2011, and if the songs Hand Art and Back to Front are on there, GO OUT AND BUY IT! You will not be disappointed.

A difficult act to follow The Sunbirds were, I have to be honest, a slight disappointment. Although upbeat, their music became something of a repetition. They failed to blow my mind. In fact, their set would have been a lot quicker if they had just merged everything into one song. I wouldn’t have to sit there thinking ‘oh dear god, I am going to die from absolute boredom.’

For our headlining act came The Friday Nights; a band close to my heart

as they herald from the lush county of Bedfordshire (my own home shire).

Not just another stereotypical British Indie band are the Friday Night lads. If Noel Gallagher and Pete Doherty had a love child, this is what their lead singer would sound like. Great bass lines, a strong drumbeat and well thought out lyrics. Another band worth keeping your eye on.

Overall, a pretty awesome night; I certainly heard no complaints. Kudos definitely go out to the DJ however who at one point in the evening actually had people up jiving to some 50’s rock’n’roll. Well done that man! So yes, I (HEART), at Proud, every second Wednesday. Cheap fun (it’s only a fiver if you’re on the guest list), not so cheap drinks (you’re used to that by now guys, you live in London!) and an experience that a MasterCard cannot get you. Find all of the above bands on Myspace/ Twitter/Facebook, and all that internet jazz.

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much throughout the series he has been a source of comic relief. I am glad to say that is improved upon in this movie. While he does have some funny moments, he is allowed to flex his dramatic muscles a bit more, which results in his best performance. He has some great scenes during the long trek and you can feel his frustration and anguish at being considered a third string and his overcoming his jealously of Harry and Hermione.

As this is a very different movie from the prior Potter films we do not get to see as much of the great supporting cast compiled of some of the best talent Britain has to offer. This is a weakness of the movie and the two British actors to enter did not really leave a mark for me. Bill Nighy was pretty good but he was not in the film enough and Rhys Ifans started off really good although his major acting scene near the end was a little disappointing and he was just average. The film did not have a major British actor that stole the movie like previous ones, such as Gary Oldman in “Prisoner of Azkaban” and Jim Broadbent in “Half Blood Prince”.

One of the best things about this movie was the score. French composer Alexandre Desplat has big shoes to fill given that the first three movies were done by John Williams and the other composers did pretty good jobs to follow suit.

He does a magnificent job, creating a new theme that appears at the opening of the movie that signifies a theme for the three main characters and he also captures the sense of doom and gloom that is needed in this film with themes that he has created; just a solid score.

Overall, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 is the best film in the franchise since the “Prisoner of Azkaban”. This is due in part to Yates’ direction. He deals with the material he is given very well; the sense of pace is excellent, the tone (which was one of the things that plagued his prior Potter films) is very well done here. He gets the best performances out of the two

leads. He does some stylistic things that are to be commended, such as the origin of the Deathly Hallows in a wonderful animated sequence. However, with a very mediocre performance from Harry himself and no new standout British actor the movie falls down a little bit, as well as few scenes that feel like they came out of nowhere. De-

spite these problems, this is an essential watch that will have you excited for Part 2 which comes out Summer 2011.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 is out in cinemas now.

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CUlTURE

Theatre: The Glass Menagerie John Ord culture Editor tennessee Williams has often been heralded as one of the best playwrights in the history of the English-speaking language and, being unfamiliar with any of his work other than A Streetcar Named Desire, I wasn’t too sure what to expect as I walked into the innovative space at the Young Vic theatre. I can happily say that I was very impressed indeed. For those of you unfamiliar with the play, it is a memory play. this means that it is a play written from the perspective of someone looking back at events of the past and often, as in this case, it is narrated by said person. the intertwining of the narration with the story itself was something that director Joe hill-Gibbins put together very well. Often within the action of the play the narrator (tom played by Leo bill) would signal to the musicians on the higher level and they would begin playing and the lights would change in what was a regular and effective fashion. Which brings me to the musicians.

I have said many times that having a constant score underlying the play and cropping up here and there is something that has to be done very well to succeed and that I have not yet seen it done well. Intermittent birdsong to give

the illusion of being in the countryside often makes you far more aware that you are sitting in a West End theatre so it’s always my policy to avoid it unless it really works. thankfully in The Glass Menagerie it really works. the constant ditties on the piano make it feel like a painful memory, which makes the structure of the play more solid and gives Leo bill an easier job in his narration. the music did astound me. the majority of it was in perfect keeping with the glass theme of the play; a series of wine glasses filled with water played beautifully and subtly. my praises go to Simon Allen and Eliza mccarthy for doing such a fantastic job of the music. the acting was not substandard either.

Leo bill gave an assured and suitably torn performance as the anguished tom, who seems to have nothing but thankless responsibility on his shoulders. he took his dual roles of tom and narrator in his stride and made it seem a natural link and not a ham-fisted theatrical technique.

Deborah Findlay plays a fantastically overbearing and unbearable mother figure, whether that be a compliment or not, and within a few minutes you were in cahoots with tom and his inability to put up with her. her performance is an energetic one that doesn’t drop the ball once throughout the whole show, which is impressive indeed.

Music: The Great Classics James Barber 2nd year theology Entering the Albert hall for the first time was overwhelming enough, but once the royal Philharmonic Orchestra emerged, it was clear it was to be a magnificent evening. Playing part of their great classics series, they began with Edward Elgar’s cockaigne Overture. You could hear its strong string components, painting a midsummer’s afternoon in the country, and slowly powerful wind instruments came into play, gradually moving us from the countryside into London town, this piece’s nickname. It seemed likened to 20’s New York, encouraging endeavour and innovation and encompassing the crazy world of industrialised London, which Elgar would have been surrounded with during his financial troubles. this playful piece, inspired by cockney influences and Salvation Army brass bands passing by, perfectly framed the high quality we were all about to pay heed to.

Suddenly, the headline-maker gracefully floated out from the dark. Nicola benedetti, the long-standing violin star from Scotland, draped in silver silk, depicted for us max bruch’s Violin concerto No.1 in G minor. A sombre woodwind theme introduced benedetti’s impassioned violin solo flourishes; before long the soloist and the orchestra ascend in competition with each other, playing both beautifully yet sorrowfully. the pieces second movement slowly builds the violin through its higher echelons introducing high thrills

and ecstatic solo flurries. Entranced in emotion, this movement forms the body always introduced by benedetti’s outpourings leading us towards the peak of this piece in its third movement. Probably his most heard composition, energising his crowd with savage thrills, moving effortlessly towards his tantalising finale. It is something well worth listening to live.

After the mid-concert, avoid-the-expensive-drink dance, we settled down once more to witness a highly favoured composition by Gustav holst; the Planet Suite. Opening with the tune so synonymous with First World War films, mars, the bringer of War; with its sinister wooden rattle before really opening up into epic flurries encompassing terror and magnitude deserving of war and ending powerfully with an organ booming a colossal discord, penetrating Gustav’s audience. Quickly following is Venus, the bringer of Peace to settle our hearts, soothing our thoughts with sleepy tunes expressing the magnificent expanse of space, in stark contrast to mars’ hammerings. mercury, the Winged messenger then dances onto the scene dazzling us with light sprinklings of strings and harp seemingly accustomed to a ballet. Jupiter, the bringer of Jollity interrupts with its familiar enterprising attitude clearly depicting a thriving and joyous nation in the throes of development.

Jupiter’s booming second theme inspires Gustav’s audience to dream, such a popular theme it later wound up in Vaughan William’s hymns. It seems Saturn, the bringer of Old Age lurches into the hall after such enthu-

 Kyle Soller is the other cast member, who plays the self-assured to the point of arrogant Jim. When he enters the stage the dynamic changes and his bouncing character is so full of vibrant life that it contrasts beautifully with the trapped and tortured family he has come to visit for dinner. his performance is strong and brings out the best and more nuanced aspects of Sinead matthews’ Laura.

Any review of this show would be remiss if it didn’t make a special mention of Sinead matthews. her Laura was the most powerful female performance I have seen all year bar none. I found myself wondering if they had cast her because she already had a limp and a stammer or if she was putting them on beautifully. It appeared that such beauty would be the watchword for her performance, carrying off the dignity and troubled soul of Laura with a grace that is necessary for the role. She is wounded and doesn’t over-play her hand. She is coy and quiet and her performance was, I think, the main success story of this brilliant show.

Without exception the cast slotted in to their characters with such poise that it was easy for the audience to drop in to the setting of the play and empathise with the turmoil of all the characters. the script was masterfully interpreted and the painful scenes at the end al-

 siastic themes, slowly ticking from side to side almost as if waiting for you to die. though slowly through the piece it seems to burst from its own world into

most had me in tears, certainly squirming uncomfortably as the extremely relatable characters’ hopes fell apart despite their best efforts and the apparent turn of good fortune. Again, Sinead matthews is at the heart of it all. the use of what is a very versatile stage was suitable varied. hill-Gibbins made good use of the levels with people often marching up and down the stairs and across the balcony past the musicians. the partition that they used in the second act made for both intimate and grander scenes, giving the actors a chance to play with much more space than there actually was. Everything seemed to fit the show and there was nothing that stood out as excessive or unnecessary. there were very few things that ran ours likening to a funeral procession, the deathly tone ticks on reminding us of our own impending mortality. Uranus, the magician wreaks havoc soon after lifting us out of sombre reflection and tossing us around in both mischievous and menacing ways, climaxing with a massive glissando on the organ apparently played by rolling elbows over the keyboard. Finally Neptune, the mystic seeks to leave us bewildered by

against the strength of the show. A few stumbled lines were close to becoming a problem but as it were they were taken and swiftly forgotten as the play marched on. Other than that and the badly timed change of Sinead matthews’ hair colour from the blonde of the poster to a brunette there was little to pick at.

I would thoroughly recommend seeing this production and with it being extended for two weeks they’re doing all they can to make sure you do.

Written by Tennessee Williams; Directed by Joe Hill-Gibbins; at the Young Vic; Starring Leo Bill, Deborah Findlay, Sinead Matthews, Kyle Soller; runs from 11 November 2010 - 15 January 2011.

clothing itself in the scale and mystery of space enchanting us with voices and harps eventually dying out by the choir slowly leaving the hall, dumbfounded.

After experiencing such high quality from the composers and the orchestra, I remain to this day in ethereal confusion from the bedazzlement presented to me. truly worth going!

Adrián Pérez

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Sport & Societies

Have a pluck of my G - String Amy Simpson President of music the Greyhound. For all of you first years who haven’t cottoned on yet, that’s our local. Literally two minutes across the road from heythrop’s front door, it really is a delightful pub. In fact, it’s pretty standard as far as traditional pubs go, apart from the occasional man in a suit with a briefcase, martini and shouting loudly down a blackberry you wouldn’t think that you were in the middle of London. the Greyhound has something that sets it apart from all our other standard local pubs, and this is thursday evenings. head over there on a thursday evening around 7.30 (ish) and you will be greeted with the sound of some awesome local (and non - local) talent (by talent, I don’t mean girls in short skirts leaning against the bar, although you’ll probably find those there too). thursday nights are open-mic nights and they are something of a sensation.

So, knowing all of the above, I moseyed on down there on 18th November, after being informed that there would be a few new artists that were not to be missed, as well as Alex hackett promising free wine. the nights are usually kicked off with Jamie (he’s the guy that organises it) playing a few acoustic covers of absolute classics. I joke you not, within the space of several minutes he’d sung a medley of all my favourite songs. One of the best things about acoustic thursdays is that there will be something for everyone, although I have yet to meet someone who isn’t a

fan of Steeler’s Wheel. the evenings are so laid back and the music is not so loud that you have to scream to make yourself heard. there are no straining of the vocals for locals in this pub.

After Jamie had set the tone for the evening, he was followed by some soloists, either playing their own stuff or covers and I have to say I have yet to meet someone who I have disliked, and this particular night was no exception.

I have to say though that there were two acts that really stood out for me. the first was a trio of three fabulous ladies by the names of Jules, ronnie and Olive (I really hope I’ve spelt your names right). three girls, 2 guitars and a set of bongo drums. What more could you possibly want from life? I sat there thinking ‘If I die now, I’ll be happy’. their sound was reggae meets acoustic.

Fun and catchy, I loved every minute of their set and would love to see them performing at bigger venues. the second act which really made me sit up was The Cheek of Her. A ‘fabulous female fronted lyrical rock band’ is how they described themselves on a flyer I was given and they were not lying. the female vocalist has such a rich voice she reminded me of Gwen Stefani in her No Doubt days. With a strong rhythm guitar and an enthusiastic drumbeat they’re also a band I would love to see at a larger venue.

So if you haven’t had the pleasure of acoustic thursdays I strongly recommended you pop down there at some point. If your mum’s down bring her too.

A President of a Society? Want to publicise your events? The Lion is a great opportunity to let Heythrop Students know how to get Involved. Email sportsocs@theheythroplion. co.uk with your article/advert or fr more information.

Up to the Rigs of London Town!

Ben Lund-Conlon President of Folk Society On the evening of Saturday 20th November, a small number of excited heythrop students could be found taking refuge from the cold, huddled in a corner of Shepherd’s bush O’Neill’s. Were we there to watch the match that was being shown on several large screens around the bar? No. Were we there to get drunk? Not entirely. We were there as members of heythrop Folk Society for a quick meal and a few drinks before moving next door to attend one of the most exciting gigs of the year on the London folk scene. having been suitably fed and watered, we took our places standing in the stalls at the 02 Empire and waited for the bevy of musical excitement to begin. the first act was a stunning duet (musically and aesthetically) named Johnny and Lucy, who provided us with half an hour of beautifully mellow songs with guitar and fiddle accompaniment. After that, we were treated to something a little more upbeat from matthew and the Atlas, whose brilliant performance was only enriched by the trumpeter who sported moustache of almost Nietzschean proportions. but the main event of the evening began a little after 9pm when the stage was filled by ten of the british folk world’s favourite sons, and one of its favourite daughters; for this was the one and only London performance on bellowhead’s tour ‘hedonism’, to promote their new album of the same name. Sam on fiddle and pipes; Paul on fiddle and oboe; rachael on fiddle and ‘cello; benji on guitar, bouzouki, banjo and other strummy-type things; John on various squeezeboxes; Pete on percussion; brendan on bass clarinet and saxophones; Andy on trumpet; Justin on trombone; Ed on helicon (a sort of tuba-y thing); all headed up by lead vocalist, fiddle player and all-round genius Jon boden make for a fantastically huge, complex and exciting sound.

Winner of the bbc radio 2 Folk Award for best Live band four years out of

the last six, and described by the Independent as “With the exception of the Who...the best live act in the country”, we knew we were in for a good night. they did not disappoint. As you may guess from the title of the album and tour the topics of the songs were as racy as any good folk song should be; including Yarmouth town, a really fun chorus number about a very accommodating young lady who does her best to please any number sailors who may venture into her tavern; Amsterdam, a macabre waltz about all the delights of that fair city; and not forgetting, of course New York Girls, a fantastically energetic number about a particularly wily prostitute. the band played a very well constructed set, getting through most of the songs and tunes from the new album, while finding enough time to slip in a few old favourites, including cholera camp, a delightfully jaunty

song about a whole lot of people dying of that most poetic of diseases. by the end the crowd were hot, drunk, sweaty, exhausted and thoroughly satisfied, exactly how all good nights should end, and managed to elicit two encores from the group. the heythrop contingent left the venue singing the most memorable bits and made their respective ways home with huge smiles on their faces.

If you’ve never heard of bellowhead, I heartily recommend you look them up; they’re not just for the hard core folkies, but take traditional English songs and tunes, mash them up to fit to their ridiculous line up, and eventually come out with really exciting, fun, happy music that everyone can enjoy. I am yet to meet anyone who, having been properly exposed to them, dislike bellowhead; and even if you’re unconvinced by their recorded work, they are one hundred times better live.

Islamic Experience Week Update Joe Walsh VP Issoc the Islamic Society managed to put on the following events: monday: Despite all the will in the world (and many prayers by Aisha) our film night was cancelled due to the projector failing. tuesday: Our ‘Poetry hour’ was a great success! With readings from tolu, Qaiser, the famous John Ord and not forgetting our own poet Aisha. the attendance was good, the snacks even better and the atmosphere jolly. We enjoyed a variety of poems.

Wednesday: ‘What is Islam?’ - the lecture from Ahmed Achtar was brilliant,

establishing for many Non-muslims the importance of not seeing a single ‘Islam’ but many ‘Islams.’ the question and answer session proved helpful in dispelling a few misconceptions. thursday: We went on a trip to regent’s Park mosque (central London mosque) and the guide was exceptionally informative. As a former neuroscientist, he somewhat put in the shade with his intelligence. We got to witness the evening prayers and were given an explanation of the mosque’s role, in particular the duty of each mosque to have a library. this was a brilliant, enlightening and fun trip with a level of interest that, I think, none of us anticipated.

Friday: Fundraising! the Loyola hall was packed to the brim with samosas, chips, snacks, scarves and perfumes.

We had a brilliant time and managed to raise, to my slight disbelief, £100 for the Pakistan flood appeal!

I’d like to say a big thank you to all the volunteers who made the week possible and a further personal thank you to the following individuals: Aisha: Your enlightened leadership, endless optimism and ability to listen to my insane ideas made the week possible! tolu: thanks for all the help, especially with the bombay mix. You’re an extraordinary Vice-President! mr John Ord: helpful to the last with brilliant poetry on tuesday! thanks for all the help.

Qaiser: came to every event and even helped put away the chairs at the end.

Above and beyond the call of duty!