The Lion - Issue 6

Eventful

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We Review the Christmas Ball Burns’ night

EDL

8

Marc Crosby on the rise of the movement

The

Heythrop Students’ Union Volume 1 Issue 6 Friday 4th January theheythroplion.co.uk

Book Review

13

hazel Dixon on Secret Diary of a Call Girl

Lion

ULU Pass No Confidence in Aaron Porter • Motion declares Porter “incapable of leading the student movement” • Heythrop remains broadly in support of Porter according to Online Lion Poll Alex Hackett news Editor Aaron Porter, president of the National Union of Students, has been dealt a heavy blow this week as the University of London Senate passed a vote of no confidence in his leadership of the organisation Passed on 25th January, the motion was ‘signed in a personal capacity’ by both uLu president Clare Solomon and Birkbeck Students union Chair Sean Rillo Raczka, both outspoken members of the of the anti-cuts movement. the motion cites apparent failures to support the student cause against the

nO COnFIDEnCE: Aaron at uCL Occupation Photo:uCLOccupation/Flickr.com Graphic Cross by Alex hackett

government cuts in higher education as well as “failure to assist students & occupations, and to coordinate or support further national Demonstrations against the cuts”. the motion also cites emails leaked to the Daily telegraph, that the nuS “ had put models of alternative cuts to Ministers, outlining where cuts could be made to the higher Education budget without raising tuition fees.” the motion goes on to claim that “these plans included cutting grants to the poorest students, and immediately charging a higher commercial rate of interest on student loans.” the uLu motion has however garnered criticism as to how legitimate the out-

come really was in representing accurately the views of member students unions. hSu President James Johnston abstained from the vote and is critical of the point and purpose of the motion being tabled. Johnston said “this motion is a fantastic example of how farcical, self-congratulatory and masturbatory student politics can be. there are many things that I could have done instead of being part of that ridiculous debacle such as stabbing myself in the eye with a knitting needle. the motion was quickly forced through, amid confusion and insufficient time for debate. Aaron may have done some pretty Continued on P3>

hSu unveil new Music Room For heythrop Students Gala Jackson-Coombs Comment Editor The Other Room (the room next to the HSU office) has been changed and cleared to become a music practice room.

Any heythrop student can use the space, which includes a PA system, keyboard and drum kit. there is also a student’s piano in the room, which should be treated with great care. the room can

be booked for 1 hour slots any time between 6-10pm daily. to use the room, students will have to sign up on the sheet on the door before 5pm on the day they wish to use it.

When it is their allotted time, keys can be collected from reception, where they are to be returned at the end of the hour.

Students are liable for any damage caused when they are using the room, and can be fined for the late return of the keys.

James Johnston, President of the hSu

said in a student email “A decent music room is a great resource. If you arse around and break things you will ruin it for everyone, so don’t!

tice and rehearse. the Other Room has been previously used as storage space for society equipment, chairs and hSu shop stock.

It’s going to be great getting music going at heythrop again.” the room will hopefully encourage more heythrop musicians to play, and for music-related societies to make good use of the space.

however, the space has now been cleared, so that the students can better benefit from it. the shop will continue to be run out of the hSu office, with the stock just moved to a different location.

this announcement will be music to the ears of the blossoming heythrop choir, newly relaunched this year. Also, Folk and Music society will be equally as thrilled to have some set space to prac-

To book a session in the Music Room email president@ heythropcollege.ac.uk or visit the HSU Office in the Union Basement

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FRIDAY 4th JAnuARY | THE LION

NEWS

heythrop to hold 2nd ever RAG Week VP Development Chris Nicholson introduces the start of heythrop’s Raising and Giving Week

THE BIANNUAL MAGAZINE FROM THE LION OUT NOW ON CAMPUS AND ONLINE AT dft.ba/-Paws

theheythroplion.co.uk

twitter.com/theheythroplion facebook.com/theheythroplion youtube.com/theheythroplion flickr.com/photos/theheythroplion

It is nearly that time of year again. no not Easter (despite me taking advantage of the rabbit and egg shaped confectionary) or the Oscars or even the Royal Wedding.

Please recycle your Lion at one of the many recycle bins around College

It is possibly more important than all three put together. It is of course RAG week. RAG Week is Raising and Giving Week, seven days in the college year where we as students put on and attend events aimed at raising as much money for charitable causes as is physically possible without causing Mervin King

A

Chris Nicholson VP Development

to increase the Bank of England base rate.

Last year heythrop saw its first ever RAG week which raised money for Project Paria, a small charity in Bolivia where a relatively modest sum made a huge difference to the lives of many within the community there. Aiming to build upon the success of last year, we are looking forward to a week of events and activities throughout the first week of March. the union shall be putting on events and hopefully a massive party with all proceeds going to a good cause at the end of it. the most exciting part of the

The Co-Creator and Editor-in-Chief Alex hackett alex@theheythroplion.co.uk

News Editor Alex hackett news@theheythroplion.co.uk

Co-Creator and Editor Gala Jackson-Coombs gala@theheythroplion.co.uk

Features Editor Josh Ferguson features@theheythroplion.co.uk

Editor Katie Plumb katie@theheythroplion.co.uk

Comment Editor Gala Jackson-Coombs comment@theheythroplion.co.uk

the Lion is the independent student newspaper of heythrop College, university of London. We distribute at least 1000 free copies during term time around campus and to popular student venues in and around Kensington. the Lion is published by hackJack Ltd. and printed by Mortons Print Ltd. All Copyright is the exclusive property of hackJack Ltd. no part of this publication is to be reproduced, stored on a retrieval system or submitted in any form or by any means, without the prior permission of the publisher.

Culture Editor John Arthur Craven Ord culture@theheythroplion.co.uk Sport and Societies Editor Katie Plumb sportsoc@theheythroplion.co.uk

whole shebang is that you get to nominate charitable causes for the union to support and also get to vote to choose which charity receives the money raised at the end of it. nominations close on Friday 4th February after which a poll shall open on the hSu website in which you can vote for which charity you wish to support.

All that remains is to tell you that RAG week shall run between 28th February and the 6th of March so clear the calendar, there shall be no excuses, not even essays, for missing the action! I shall leave you with the musings of a certainly once very wise man; “Get your RAG out!”

Editorial Team

NEXT dEAdLINE FOR SUBMISSIONS

09.02.11

Please send your submissions to: submit@theheythroplion.co.uk the views expressed in this publication are those of the author and not necessarily those of the Editors or of the heythrop Students’ union. Every effort has been made to contact the holders of copyright for any material used in this issue, and to ensure the accuracy of this fortnight’s stories. © hackJack Ltd. 2010, 639 nell Gwynn house, Sloane Ave, Kensington, London SW3 3BE Pages 1 -8 - Designed by Alex hackett Pages 9 -16 - Designed by Gala Jackson-Coombs

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FRIDAY 4th JAnuARY | THE LION

NEWS

Christmas and Burns’ night: THE VERdICT

uLu Pass Motion of no Confidence in Aaron Porter

Ashley doolan and Gala Jackson-Coombs discuss the last two big union events of the year

Alex Hackett news Editor

CHRISTMAS BALL

A

>Continued from P1

Ashley doolan LGBt Society President Katieffbvb

questionable things, but this public infighting makes us look like squabbling children.”

When asked why he abstained from the vote, Johnston explained that “the union executive voted on my decision, we all agreed that we wanted to make a decision that represented heythrop, not just a personal choice”.

A poll conducted on the Lion website indicates that in fact around two thirds of heythrop Students support Aaron Porter’s leadership of the nuS with only a third wishing for his removal.

Do you support Aaron Porter as NUS President?

68%

32%

In one what was quite possibly one of the coldest nights of the year, heythrop students descended on St Katherine’s Docks for what promised to be a night of fun filled frivolity on the River thames.

Joined by students from the Courtauld Institute of Fine Art, who had built up a strong relationship with heythrop over the course of the tuition fees protests, we boarded the steam powered beauty that was the Dixie Queen. With all the eccentricity that one comes to expect from heythrop events, we entered the boat to the sound of bagpipes being played from the upper deck as we slowly shuffled in. Of course not only were we on boat, with Courtauld, but the theme for the evening was a masquerade ball. Obviously there were varying levels of effort as far the masquerade side went, from elaborate bejewelled masks that would have made Louis XVI blush, to £3 attempts from the costume shop on Kensington high Street, to just a splash of face paint or thickly coated eyeliner.

As we finally entered the boat after the rather rigorous security search we were

greeted by the news that there was free wine behind the bar, so of course in true heythrop style there was a scrum for both bars which were soon dried of this costless booze. As the warm up act for the night played in the main ballroom, to a crowd of about five people, many of us made our way to the tables to sit and consolidate our surroundings, and for many of the girls to rest their already tired feet as they cursed the day high heels became necessary for wear with a cocktail dress. It was at this same time that the nicotine dependent among us made their first of many ventures onto the beautiful and pre-gritted deck and marvelled at the view of London from this unique angle. With many excitedly slurred outbursts such as, “look it’s the Greenwich Mean Line” or the more familiar “S**t I just dropped my mask over the side” the outside would be just as busy as inside throughout the night. After about an hour it was announced that the food was ready. After what seemed like a lifetime waiting in the queue those of us expecting just a few sandwiches or cocktail sausages were pleasantly surprised when what amounted to very fancy burger and chips was served along with pasta and salad.

already on the floor. Once one had made the split second decision that it was acceptable to do the dutty wine whilst wearing a suit/cocktail dress most of us overcame our sea legs and had a pretty good time. Although most of us were far too drunk to recognise half of the music we were dancing too, circles opened up all over

the floor as risqué dance moves were seen being performed by people who probably should know better, myself included. the flashes from a myriad of cameras logging all for Facebook to see on the morrow turned the room into the scenes one would expect from an epileptic’s worse nightmares.

As the night drew to a close and the boat moored back at the docks where there was a race for the doors as many of us realised our last tube left tower hill in about 15 minutes time. Although an amazingly enjoyable night I feel that many questioned the choice of serving food and also the choice of music, much of which many people commented they’d never heard before.

Overall though a brilliant choice of venue and one of those nights you know doesn’t come along every day, a pretty big success for the events team and union as a whole.

After we had all been fed and watered we moved into the ballroom where the DJ had started to play and people were

BURNS’ NIGHT Source: theheythroplion.co.uk Poll of Visitors to the Lion Website between 30/01/11 and 02/02/11 Correct at time of printing

this news comes after Porter was chased off a student demonstration in Manchester, when roughly 150 students broke off from the main march and began to heckle: “Students, workers, hear our shout! We want Aaron Porter out!” and “Aaron Porter we know you, you’re a f*cking tory too!”.

Aaron has denounced accusations of nuS inactivity in an article for the guardian, stating that ”[the] nuS has continued to lead the movement that was spurred into action by the government’s vicious attacks on young people in general and, more specifically, our education.

Gala Jackson-Coombs Editor

Katieffbvb

On Friday 28th September, the hSu and heythrop Folk Society threw a ceilidh to celebrate Burns night, hosted in the Loyola hall. the SOAS band were already in full swing as we arrived, already getting you in the spirit to prance around. the ticket price was a very reasonable £4 (£3 for cheapskates) as free drinks were provided all evening. Most of the guests were quite shy on the first dance, many not quite being merry enough to overcome their nerves just yet. however, by the third song, everybody in the room was up and skip-

ping, galloping and stomping around the space. unfortunately, the official ceilidh band’s caller was absent, so the band took it in turns to walk the guests through the dances. Some were more talented than others, leading to some confusion, which was hilarious both to watch and be a part of. there were prizes awarded to the best couples and the best skip (which Bradley Smith and Alex hackett’s team won easily). At the end of the night, many couples attempted to waltz, which resulted in hilarious collisions as couples danced into each other. We were also treated to an exclusive performance by three 1st year heythrop students, who were fantastically talented and wonderful to watch.

Overall, I thought the evening was

great fun, with everyone up for taking part and getting into the spirit of the evening. As the band packed up at 10pm, I wished it had lasted longer, however much my lungs and calves ached from all the galloping. I also wish there was a bit more of a wider selection of beverages on offer, however I fully approve of the irn bru.

I can only hope it is repeated next year, with an even bigger turnout. I cannot wait until the next one.

What do you think about the events this year? Leave a comment on our website

theheythroplion.co.uk

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FRIDAY 4th JAnuARY | THE LION

FEATURE

“How I earned £535 for a single days work” 2nd year undergraduate Thomas Newman on his experience being a medical guinea pig

BEInG A LAB RAt: thomas newman on Clinical trials - Photo: e-MagineArt.com/Flickr.com

Thomas Newman 2nd year undergraduate no, I have not been wandering the darker parts of Soho in my hot pants and corset...again. I have instead been selling my body to science. I made this money by being a ‘lab rat’, testing new medication that could be used to help save or improve lives - if it is deemed safe enough for human usage. there is a slight stigma over clinical trials such as these which has only increased after the events of 2006, where one man suffered a serious adverse reaction to the medication (incidentally this event occurred in the same hospital I was to be in during the trial). the trial itself was to discover if the particular drug that would be tested on me would

have any effect on my ability to sense heat. It would be tested by having me put my hand in a tub of very hot water, and keeping it in there until it became painful. the people in charge were trained professionals, and if anything at all went wrong, I would be in the best of hands to deal with it. Despite this it was with a slight trepidation that I entered the trial.

I turned up at the hospital at 7 PM on the dot, and after signing in was shown to my bed and my ward, where I would spend the next day or so. I shared the ward with seven others, all like myself looking to get a bit of extra cash. After a few hellos and poor nervous joke we were sent to bed at 10pm, for the study was due to start early the next morning.

I was woken bleary eyed at 4:40 AM, to have a glass of water, and to make sure

I hadn’t become ill over night as for in the next few hours I was to be checked over to make sure I was healthy enough to participate in the test. Blood samples were taken, blood pressure checked, along with my temperature, culminating finally in the ‘hand submersion’ test. I was given the drug at 8 AM. From then on the day became very fuzzy and comfortable, as I sat in bed reading the paper, doing some work for an essay, with regular blood samples being taken, along with further hand submersion tests. After an ECG and check up at around 6 PM I was sent on my way.

I received my cheque for £535 a week later.

From my own experiences, drug trials are a great way to earn money quickly. there is no long term commitment, the ‘job’ itself is very easy, and the time spent in bed allowed me to catch up

on some much needed work and rest. there are of course reasons why they do pay you so much, and of course the more they pay you the higher the risks you take of causing yourself serious harm. If they’re offering to pay you £20,000 for a four day visit, expect there to be certain side effects, such as headaches light headedness and so on, as well as the possibility of more severe ones, such as temporary loss of sight, unconsciousness, and so forth. My advice would be any trial for over £5,000 should not be considered unless you are in desperate need of a lot of money quickly.

All possible risk and any other information you might need, are easily available, and at a screen a few weeks before the trail itself, a doctor will go through all information on the trail, and you are free to opt out at any time before

or during the testing. Of course there are risks, and people have sadly died from taking part in drug trials before. however the risk posed by ‘smaller’ trials seems worth it to me, and for that I would heavily recommend them to anyone.

For more information about clinical trials, visit nhs.uk/Conditions/Clinicaltrials For in college information about student welfare, contact the union welfare team malewelfare @heythropcollege.ac.uk femalewelfare @heythropcollege.ac.uk

What do you think? Comment on this article and others at our website

theheythroplion.co.uk

FRIDAY 4th JAnuARY | THE LION

the Vicar of Baghdad

FEATURE

Co-Editor Katie Plumb interviews the Anglican Chaplain to Iraq Andrew White on the work and role of faith in the country

FAIth unDER FIRE: Andrew White on his time in Baghdad

Katie Plumb Co-Editor

Skyping Baghdad is always precarious; the Internet and electricity often fail and you have this weird feeling as though your call is being watched by the Mukhabarat (Iraqi Secret Service.)

he leads the Anglican Church in Baghdad, St George’s. the Church boasts a congregation of over 2500 members.

Pastoring his flock is no small task. his charity provides both food and financial assistance for the parishioners.

Before the war, the church cost about $600 per year, last month it cost near to $100,000.

the call I made was a catch up on an interview I did this last summer when I nervously travelled down to hampshire to meet my former boss, Canon Andrew White. For a year I interned at his charity, the Foundation for Relief and Reconciliation in the Middle East. he is a larger-than-life character from his size 16 feet up. he is rarely in the country so I was lucky to catch him behind his desk. Surrounded by various peace prizes and a very large amount of crosses (of which he is an avid collector) he sips on his tea. White has been in Iraq since before the 2003 invasion which has enabled him to carry out much needed work in the war torn country. his official title is the “Anglican Chaplain to Iraq” but many refer to him as “the Vicar of Baghdad.” White’s work is threefold. In the first instance,

White also assists at the uS army chapel in the International Zone (IZ). this has allowed him to link uS troops with Iraqi Christians. the troops now arrange for the church’s children to have play days at the IZ’s swimming pool.

Swimming and a barbeque may be a small step but White insists they are towards a greater social healing.

Finally, White deals with the religioussectarianism dynamic in Iraq. he organises conferences between Sunni and Shia religious leaders to bring them together to work for reconciliation. In August 2008 they released a significant Sunni-Shia FAtWA against interfaith violence in Iraq. As we spoke on Skype, White updated me on how he had just helped to broker another FAtWA, this time condemning violence against Dhimmi (Christians and Jews in an

Molly mM

Islamic state.) Before the FAtWA had been released there had been violence against Christians from his community every day. Five days after they had all met in Copenhagen and released it, there have been no deaths. this is clearly important for the ever diminishing Christian community in Iraq but only time will tell, but at the time of going to press, things are looking brighter for the Iraqi Christian community.

White has a unique background and set of skills that have enabled him to do his job so well. his Director of Operations, Peter Marsden commented, ‘he has the advantage of being neither Sunni nor Shia, Arab nor Kurd.’ When interviewing him I thought it best to start at the beginning of his rather hectic life and ask him about his time at university.

“I was at St thomas’, first time round, same as you, part of the university of London.” White studied anaesthetics; he often draws from that time of his life when discussing his work in Iraq.

“It was the best place ever! the people I met there were very instrumental in my life not least because at St thomas’ I learnt how to deal with disasters.” After St thomas’ he moved to Cambridge to

study theology. “I learnt far more at St thomas’ hospital for my present work than I did at theology College.” he observed the huge difference between the study of Science and the Arts. he confessed that he found theology more of a struggle to master than anaesthetics. “the main thing is that there are not so many definite answers. In medicine, if you give someone halothane, they go to sleep. In theology, if you tell somebody about JEDP it doesn’t necessarily do anything to them!”

But despite his difficulty he doesn’t regret studying academic theology, he sees its importance in the secular world, “It is vital as it enables you to grapple with the difficulties of faith and practice and religions in all sorts of circumstances. It is very important, not least where I am now where our faith is really under fire to ensure that I can continually associate it with theology.”

St George’s Baghdad is an Anglican Church who’s parishioner were before the invasion predominantly expats and diplomats. today, St George’s is church to hundreds of Iraqi Christians from one of the oldest Christian communities in the world. the parishioners are

from a wide range of denominations.

When asked about the possibility of difficulties in reconciling different factions White answered, “ I take great notice of what my Catholic friend Lord hylton once said after he visited St George’s, “I have been to the church of the future”. It is very important for us to recognise that even though we are Catholic, Orthodox, Assyrian, Ancient Church of the East, Presbyterian, all sorts- denomination does not matter when you are under fire. At the end of the day, we are Christian. It is important to keep the practice of faith going in a place where so many Christians have been killed.” Christians in Iraq really are under fire, in the last year at St George’s alone nearly 100 people have been killed. thirteen adults have been baptised, eleven were killed the following week. White concludes, “But we continue and we must not give up and it is vital to all of us that, come what may, we keep the faith alive.”

For more information about the Andrew White’s work, visit The Foundation for Relief and Reconciliation in the Middle East http://www.frrme.org/

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FRIDAY 4th January | THE LION

FEATURE

EXPLETIVE DELETED JT White and Josh Ferguson discuss Free Speech, The Sky Sports sackings and using the “N-word” in Huckleberry Finn

All views expressed in the article below are those of the authors named and are not necessarily those of The Lion or the Heythrop Students’ Union.

JT White and Josh Ferguson Molly mM

Here’s a little tip for you: If you don’t agree with the fundamental right of man to free speech, go and f*ck yourself, you miserable slack-jawed witdeficient drool-dispenser.

We have a sacrosanct right to say what we want, and to express our opinions.

But, of course, with this great power comes pricks who misuse the power that they have been given. For every outspoken campaigner saying something daring and new in the name of progress (Dr King, Bayard Rustin, Jesus Christ etc.) you get a bumbling, mealy-mouthed farting cretin who thinks himself to be among the ranks of the aforementioned heroes when he is, in fact, just shooting his mouth off about how much he hates black people and gays.

Over the weeks off some of you, who are addicted to literature and politics or both, might recall such implosions as Jack Straw defecated through his mouth a load of nonsense about hordes of Asian men on the prowl in search of “white meat” and the censorship of the 200+ ‘n-words’ in Huckleberry Finn.

On the one hand a case of flat out racebaiting and on the other a situation which might be summed up as “political correctness gone mad”.

Though you might not remember the mud slung at dissident Jody McIntyre in a column by Richard Littlejohn, everyone’s favourite meat-headed gayand-foreigner-hating, sh*t sack at the ‘Daily Heil’. Most recently we have seen horny football pundits Andy Gray and Richard Keys sacked for making sexist remarks about female colleagues; apparently both of these men are looking for work at Al Jazeera where the views of football-loving white men with selfcontrol issues will be welcomed... In the interest of not offending people (which is a rare occurrence for us) we aren’t actually going to make our opinions known about Messrs Gray and Keys working at Al Jazeera. Just make up your own mind. So, has political correctness gone mad? Or has political incorrectness gone bat-sh*t f*cking insane?! Not that we are condoning the f*cking of bat-sh*t. Keep your genitalia away from bat excretia.

Political correctness is often slammed in the right-wing press in quasi-conspiratorial tones as a “cultural Marxism” and a new form of social control crafted by to erode freedom of speech and subdue the greatness of the white man, as well as to move away from true “Britishness” (see: racism) towards a God-forsaken multicultural Britain where people of all races work together in harmony to further the cause of the human race as a whole and build a better world. How dare they, those audacious b*stards. Apparently it’s the first

“DEFANGING” A CLASSIC: Why Jim’s Name should remain intact - Photo: Jonopoly/Flickr.com

sign of our descent into a totalitarian order in which the thought-police, formally known as the ‘PC Brigade’, are around every corner just waiting to spoil your innocent foreigner-hating fun and stop you from speaking your dirty, dirty mind. And yet this comes from people who couldn’t care less about the way that New Labour undermined civil liberties and sent innocent civilians off to be tortured, all in the name of the ‘War on Terror’… Of course all of these claims quickly become absurd once you remind yourself that all this hysteria is about defending the invaluable freedom to call black people the kind of names that would give Bernard Manning a grin all across his fat Mancunian face in his much-deserved grave.

First thing is first, the incorrigible arsehole himself, Jack Straw – the man who invigorated the debates about ‘Britishness’ and the veil in this country – sought to secure a by-election in Oldham through good old fashioned racebaiting and thereby legitimising claims by the BNP. This reminds us of nothing less than the Willie Horton ad and the Conservative Party’s electioneering strategy in the 70’s, festooned with the

anti-immigration slogan “If You Want a N*gger for a Neighbour, Vote Labour”.

Happy as we are to see that the modern Tories have opted to make the effort to crush all working class people regardless of race, creed or colour, it still summarises the extent to which, in the past as well as now, playing on the irrational fear of other races has been used as a tool to distract from the more important and relevant issue of the class struggle. By choosing to demonise gay people, people who weren’t born here, or people who have more melanin than you do, the fear of ignorant people who have never taken the time to learn anything about other cultures or lifestyles is cynically manipulated to control them.

We’re going to come clean with you here and say that we actually really can’t say where we stand on this whole issue. We realise that both sides of the debate, be it knee-jerk lemon-scented PC pussies on the one hand or ignorant scaremongering crypto-fascists on the other, are equally flawed in their arguments and conclusions. We also realise that it isn’t very cool or edgy to sit on the fence, but in this instance there’s no alternative. Much as we despise the

kind of people who talk about immigration like its swine flu or have an actual fear of the “Islamisation” of Britain, the political correctness camp is in no way blameless either. In terms of trying to encourage an institutionalised politeness, excising the character “Nigger Jim” (actual character name) from a classic Mark Twain story and kicking The Illustrious Frankie Boyle off Radio 4 for telling some jokes about Palestine doesn’t seem like a couple of steps in the right direction. Does anyone remember that rumour about not being able to use the word “brainstorm” because the epileptic community kicked up a fuss? That turned out to be an absolute mound of fresh, steaming sh*te, but the point we’re making is that you could easily believe it.

In the final sense, if you want to get to political correctness in its purest state, without all the baggage surrounding the term now, just consider the following piece of advice: Stop being an a***hole!

That’s right. It’s ridiculous to take the n-word out of a book that is anti-racist and in doing so “defanging” a classic.

It’s also just as appalling for Morrissey to say that he doesn’t feel like he’s in Britain anymore due to the amount

of people who don’t look like him walking through Notting Hill. There are just as many a***holes in either side of the debate, so we JT and Josh would like to preach a cool head, not a hot one, on the subject of political correctness. We must strive to avoid both offensiveness and needless censorship, context matters, in a way that allows both sides to openly debate, without compromising our lives and the steps that have been taken to encourage the admirable incorporation of people into British society.

Oh and we hope, on a completely unrelated note, you the readers are going to engage in the healthy (and quite lively) debate in Luton on the weekend, also known as the anti-degeneracy protest against the EDL. Yes, the group of convicted football hooligans who threatened to “protect the police” from us, the rowdy students who poked the future Queen with a stick. The EDL failed to deliver on that threat last week, so this week we ought to take to the “intellectual battlefield” of Luton where there will be a round of stimulating and thought provoking conversation over a lovely cup of tea. We recommend body armour and running shoes.

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FRIDAY 4th JAnuARY | THE LION

FEATURE

Biking to Brighton Annabel Sykes recounts her epic cycling journey to Brighton with Joe Walsh; facing harsh winds, heavy rain and airport shuttle buses

Annabel Sykes 3rd year undergraduate Molly mM

It’s 7.30am on a tuesday morning in October, and my blissful slumber is cut agonizingly short by my phone ringing. “nyughh?”, I manage to answer. It’s Joe Walsh. As he chirps on about innertubes (?), printing problems and some bike shop in Fulham, I grumpily scramble out of bed, stick my head through the curtains, and discover a heavily overcast sky. So I cynically ask Joe what the weather is like outside, and he cheerfully replies “Oh, it’s a lovely morning!”. Over-optimistic lies. Little did I know that Joe’s massive optimism (among other things) would be an imperative in the epic journey we were about to undertake, and that without it I would probably still be crying in a ditch by the side of a dual carriageway.

I only “re-took-up” biking in September, having only vague memories of cycling a couple of miles up and down a bog-like sugar beet field during my middle school year in norfolk. Apart from that I have never considered myself a real cyclist, but since Joe gave me his old (very old) bike, I’ve found myself not only the vice-president of the Bike Polo society but a regular cycling commuter. My fitness levels are pretty low compared to those types that go to the ‘gym’ and do things like ‘aerobics’ (no chance), so I was hardly prepared for a long distance cycle, but we’d agreed to challenge ourselves. how hard could it possibly be?

Alas, I had agreed to embark upon one of Joe’s insane adventures. he is fairly renowned for his ‘creative’ ideas (among other credentials), but even I severely underestimated the journey we were about to undertake. 50 miles.

2 completely untrained cyclists with highly dubious gear. A map printed off the internet from some random bloke called tom. Pyjama bottoms on, as all other trousers I own are too heavy or restrictive. What could possibly go wrong? the first thing I should tell you about this trip is that even before we started I was at a crippling disadvantage compared to my companion. not only does Joe have one more leg than me, he also has a much better bike. Joe’s bike (which he calls ‘Claude’) has wonderful

thin tyres and very decent breaks. My steed was a 2nd hand squeaky 11-speed ‘mountain bike’ designed for middleclass street-cred deficient 12-year-oldboys, weighing in at about 15kg, with an added 2kg in rust. together with my day pack and own body weight, that’s a hefty strain on the old legs. Even growing up in the Pennines doesn’t quite brace you for that level of abuse.

We set off from chez moi, Wandsworth Bridge (well, not literally. I am not a river troll.) at 9am and all was going well: very little traffic, a rush of excitement and a disturbing amount of enthusiasm drove us onwards. then we got lost around Wandsworth Common.

We were barely two miles in. Eventually, we managed to find our route again, but progress out of the city was slow. through tooting and into Mitcham, dodging busses and deathwish pedestrians, we came to the first bit of countryside- Mitcham Common. It is nothing more than a little meadow that had not yet been pounced upon by property developers (it won’t be long)but we knew we were finally on our way (it wasn’t until a good 20 miles out that we stopped seeing red busses, though).

As we slowly entered Surrey, we found ourselves on a gradual incline. A never ending gradual incline. We soon came to realise that, despite what my (in hindsight, sadistic) uncle had told me, the vast majority of the routes to Brighton are ever so slightly uphill. this was not too much of a problem at the start, but eventually it’s truly murder on the knees. We pulled into a small village containing not much except a church and encountered a confused middle age lady and her “gap-yah” son who were trying to find parking for a funeral. “Do you know the area?” she asked. Joe and I exchanged amused glances. In our high-vis apparel and overstuffed rucksacks, we blatantly didn’t.

It started to rain.

Zooming through a tunnel under the M25, we found a conveniently placed golf club (a building, not just one single club) with some soggy-looking logs outside and decided to stop for some oatcakes. We were barely 1/3 of the way there and already I was knackered. When we got going again we soon came to a very ordinary uppermiddle-class small town (Waitrose, M+S simply food, check), which eventually dissolved into the much grimmer

‘Salfords’. Salfords, ironically, looked surprisingly like actual Salford (in the north), albeit on a smaller scale.

The rain became heavier.

By this point, we were on Brighton Road, aka the A23. I checked my phoneGPS and was delighted to see that the unthreatening and fairly clear road we were on did indeed lead straight to Brighton, via Gatwick airport. Seeing as this was the general (but not specific) way that ‘tom’s map’ dictated, that we were running slightly behind schedule, and given the fact that we were sick of having to stop and consult bits of paper every mile or so, we decided to just go down it directly. not soon enough, we were at Gatwick airport. Curiously, there were several marked cycle routes taking us in elaborate loops around the parameter. Joe’s first bumbling fall occurred within this maze. Whilst absent-mindedly chewing a starburst on a short break, I noticed that Joe appeared to be sideways. I observed him casually, waiting for him to get up, and trying desperately not to laugh at his comical misfortune. It was a few moments before I realised that he couldn’t get up and was somehow stuck to his machine and/or the floor.

We were approached by a middle aged man, who thankfully managed to lift the entirety of Joe and his bike back to an upright position. It soon transpired that Joe uses pedals which he straps his feet into in order to be “more efficient”, but they also ensure a swift death in case of a road-traffic accident. Minutes later, the same thing happened again, but this time on a roundabout and within inches of an airport shuttle-bus. the rain began to forcibly remind me of the monsoon season I had experienced in Central Bihar, India.

Crawling through Crawley with its baffling system of roundabouts, we realised too late that the A23 does in fact turn into the M23, albeit with a little dirt path alongside it presumably only to be used by those in dire emergencies and certainly not for actually using as a regular means for travel. After wheeling our bikes down this rough track for half a mile or so, we found a cycle route entitled “Route 20” (leading ominously into some woods) and decided that we may as well give it a go. By this point, it was beginning to get dark, and I was

struggling to keep up with Joe on my horrendous machine. Gritting my teeth with determination and trying to resist the screaming that was coming from my thighs, I said something along the lines of having to go to the protest the next day in a wheelchair (surely not the first time someone has had this thought after spending a few hours with Joe).

Perhaps the most terrifying part of the entire ordeal was in the Burgess hill area. As the name may suggest, Burgess hill is, in fact, a hill. A hill without street lights, at least on this rural and patchily signposted part of the journey. It was pitch black, and I had only a very dim front light (fine in London, where you only need to be seen, but no good for actually seeing). We were on a rubbish muddy country track alongside the dual carriageway. I could just about see Joe’s back light, and was attempting to navigate my way using it.

Obstacles included potholes, twisted branches, and even a manure pile at one point which brought me to a soft standstill. to make matters worse, Joe kept zooming off ahead of me, and cars were whizzing alongside me, buffering me in the wind and the rain. Effectively, I was cycling blind, and it’s a miracle I actually managed to stay on the path.

Quite suddenly, an unfamiliar-shaped red glowing light appeared in front of me, at ground level. It gradually got bigger and bigger, until I discovered a bike attached to it, and a Joe attached to the bike (and also the floor). I made a mental note never to take his advice on pedal choice in the future.

Finally, and triumphantly, we rolled into Brighton. I was pleasantly surprised at the provision for cyclists: never before have I seen a network where we are considered (in road markings at least) as important as cars. then I remembered Caroline Lucas and her green regime. Boris certainly has some catching up to do.

Soaked to the skin and buffered by sea winds, I have never been so cold in my life. I don’t know if I was shaking from that, or exhaustion, or both.

After parking our bikes outside some theatres, we staggered to the nearest all-you-can-eat Indian buffet for some rest. And, it goes without saying, to put a considerable dent in their profits.

Final statistics, according to Joe’s (probably faulty) miniature bike-pedometer-thing: 62 miles covered (including detours and getting lost several times) 2000 calories (I don’t trust the accuracy of this.)

6 hours’ cycling (plus 3 hours of breaks, walking bikes up hills, and baffled consultation of maps). the train back only took 45 minutes.

I’ve since got a semi-decent road bike.

Round 2 anyone?

8

Friday 4TH february | THE LION

“COMMENT.” Edited by Gala Jackson-Coombs

Matthew Wilkinson

Angry White Men of the World, Unite!

JT White st 1 year Undergraduate The English Defence League has taken a time out from the campaign of racebaiting against less than 2 million Muslims in Britain, particularly targeting Asian Muslims, to react to the student demonstrations in their own special way. The leader of the movement is Stephen Yaxley Lennon, who goes by the name of “Tommy Robinson”. He attacked the students in a speech this week. The former BNP member and football hooligan accused the students of “living off their dad’s f*cking bank cards” and not knowing what it means to be working-class. During the speech, Mr. Yaxley Lennon issued the threat that “The next time the students want to protest in our capital, the English Defence League will be there.” This is a part of the EDL’s new approach of ruining left-wing meetings and denouncing trade unions as “communist”. The

movement is now engaged in the kind of red-baiting that still goes on across the pond.

The EDL seems to adhere to a vicious brand of evolutionary economics, whereby the strong rise and the weak fall, which is a departure from the traditional third-way economics of distributism. This is in line with the “permissive” aspects of post-modern nationalism, which is why they will claim to be defenders of freedom of speech against political-correctness. The kind of individualism the EDL favours is no doubt subordinate to nationhood.

It may seem to be a defence of freespeech, but it’s really about defending what the EDL perceive as “English values”, as if freedom was exclusively British. This extreme economic shift began with the BNP supporting the cuts and putting forward proposal of £200 billion in public spending cuts over a year, which would have decimated the welfare state and devastated the working-

class. Though as this new strategy has accelerated the decline of the Party, the BNP have resorted to a vague list of cuts it advocates.

Not only would it appear that the EDL are now running with the stance that the BNP abandoned, but the growth of the League is now partly the cause of the decline of the BNP. The electoralist approach of Nick Griffin is perceived as a failure on the far-right and the EDL is a regression to street level thuggery.

As the EDL were originally just another force to collude with, the League have seized onto the “common cause” of stamping out the British Muslim community. From this, there is a kind of unity among neo-Nazis and angry white men in general, but now the EDL is seeking to harden it’s right-wing base in its opposition to student demonstrations and trade unions. At the same time, the EDL has sought to allign itself with the Islamophobic wing of the Republican Tea Party. The new line of

the League on cuts might strengthen the link to the Tea Party and the American chickenhawks, who have been on board for attacking Islamism for a long time.

In Fascist ideology, the class struggle is typically displaced, the EDL are no different in this sense. The idea of an English working-class is posited against an exploitative left-wing elite who have capitulated to radical Islamists. Notice that neo-fascists have yet to replace European Jewry as a scapegoat, which appeals to the upper-classes just as much as it does to the workingclasses. To the rich, the Jew was a communist and to the poor the Jew was a banker, the virulent anti-Semitism of the Nazis externalised the tension between classes onto a “common enemy” and we all know what happened thereafter. Instead the EDL have to stick to the same line as the BNP have been, that “Islamization” is being imposed as part of a conspiracy between a left-wing media and a liberal elite.

The “intellectual” leadership of the EDL is most certainly National Socialist in character, just as the leadership of the BNP has been since its emergence in 1982, complete with the same old genocidal intentions. The foot soldiers are typically the standard football thug, with just enough brain cells to hate everything foreign. But the base of the BNP and the EDL are not consciously fascist, which is the reason for the carefully maintained veneer of railing against a culture and not a race. Cultural chauvinism is something picked up from the New Right, which focuses on the incompatibility of the culture of a “race” and thereby targets the minority indirectly. Just as old-fashioned racism is making a return, race-related harassment and violence has increased in recent times from 13,000 in 1997 to 53,000 in 2005 - 35,000 of which constituted assault. Now we can see Bruce Forsyth and Jimmy Hill defend the use of slurs such as “Paki” and “nigger”.

The base of the EDL is no different than any other far-right group, it consists mostly of working-class men who have been dispossessed over the last 30 years and have legitimate grievances.

The working-class has been neglected and its grievances have been ignored by the establishment; Unemployment and stagnant wages being a serious concern. The line of the reactionary press is that the markets are efficient and produce enough jobs for all people. From this view the only explanation for unemployment is that the jobless are lazy scum or that their jobs have been “stolen” by foreigners. It’s assumed that the system is perfect and has only been disrupted by “meddlesome entities” (e.g. foreigners and scroungers). Actually the case is that the markets are inefficient and don’t provide jobs for all. Enter the EDL, who take advantage of a source of untapped rage and acknowledge the grievances by offering ways of restoring order - e.g. cutting off all benefits and putting a stop to Muslim immigration.

The malicious defence of authority and the erosion of welfare liberalism for the sake of “social order” is partly about solidifying a ultra-rightist base, it appeals to the bourgeois sectors of society. Equally, it is about the long-term future of the EDL, whether or not it is intended to be. The end of the welfare state does have the potential to enlarge and intensify support for far-right groups, as would a double-dip recession. It would ensure the kind of conditions that produce and sustain groups like the EDL, e.g. high unemployment, stagnant wages and greater inequality.

Although, it is possible that this manoeuvre will drive away working-class support for the League, as opposition to the cuts could increase rapidly as demonstrated by the student protests.

Hopefully the EDL will find itself outnumbered by going down this route.

Read more of JT’s work by visiting his blog, livinginphilistia. blogspot.com

9

FRIDAY 4th FEBRuARY | THE LION

COMMENT

My default Setting : Legal Intoxication Ms Mollie Puttock 2nd year undergraduate I lay here partially clothed, on my silk bed sheets, eating ice cream from a mug in a rather tipsy state - due to the empty bottle of Rose on my right and that familiar sinking feeling in my chest of having poured my heart out to an immensely brilliant new friend I only met in September. A notion which seems to follow me everywhere as an undergraduate is stuck in my skull; being involuntarily introspective about my own personality and situation. I ponder the reasons as to why some people dislike me (in my neurotic way). Is it how I dress? Is it my face which, I admit is crying out to be punched? My rather annoying newspaper articles? Or, most likely, my chronically disturbing personality flaws?

I suddenly recall my trip to university this morning which was rather normal. the tube was full, I was rammed in the smallest gap between two middle aged businessmen, tourists who refuse to move quickly or with any sense of direction and the walking on the left rule appears to have been struck off all records, despite constant signs outlining it. Yet as I left high St. Ken station, I walked just outside, fiddled around in my bag producing both a cigarette and a lighter. I took a few tokes and started weaving, like a dog at Crufts, between the waves of shoppers, who seemed oblivious to my rushing. Suddenly, there was an unwashed, long finger nailed hand on my shoulder. this hand, I quickly realise, belongs to the man I just said no to buying a Big Issue from. he whispers in my ear, “don’t smoke it will kill you one day”.

As a young smoker in the time after the country-wide smoking ban, I do wonder what it must have been like to smoke in a designated area that was not cold, too small and slightly degrading (ever been to the smoking shelter at heythrop?).

In fact, at any establishment I have ever been to, they either hide you away from where others would see you or throw you out on the street. Which is surely worse than having a designated smoking room or similar place, as when you are forced to smoke outside, you are in fact more likely to cause unsuspecting passers by to passive smoke than if you are in a proper area. Also, the way in which smoking shelters are hidden away out of view it can cause some mystery, exclusivity and excitement around the habit, that can make it appear interesting and enticing to young people causing them to want smoke.

I smoke because I like it, because I enjoy it and because I can. Obviously, no smoker chooses to smoke forever or become addicted, but after a few sneaky cigarettes when your out socialising, that number tends to grow and you just continue. there are so many horrific health problems that are associated with smoking tobacco and of course these do worry me, but I have a plan!

If you know me, you know I plan, plan and re-plan and now I feel I have it sorted. Later on in life, I imagine myself to have a family, therefore I will at some point be pregnant and therefore I cannot smoke. After 9 months of no smoking, I am relying on myself once again find the smell, taste and whole idea disgusting. then I may, perhaps, have less people looking down their noses at me!

So with my eyes hurting, body aching, the clouds of confusion slowly cascading and the inevitable hangover approaching fast, I am over and out.

© Wahlander

A Word About Welfare – Sex Awareness Week John Ord Welfare Officer As some of you may know, the hSu are planning a Sex Awareness week that is full of fun and informative events for you to attend and have a great time at. the purpose of the week is to raise awareness of a number of very real issues that surround sex. We will be conducting chlamydia testing with the help of the terence higgins trust; their previous visits have been remarkably well received and they are keen to come back because of how positive and upbeat everyone they met was. We do have other focuses than the sexual health that has bored you to tears throughout your time at school and the awkward mo-

ments when your parents try to explain ‘the birds and the bees’. there is the social stigma about sex that we are going to do our utmost to destroy. Sex is not something to be embarrassed or ashamed about, though details should of course remain private to those whom it directly concerns. these social pressures that people should or should not be having sex, that they should be doing certain things, that other things are wrong or unpleasant are all outdated. Frankly, we’d do a lot better if we had none of it at all and this is what we’re trying to do.

We’re going to show you that sex and talking about sex is healthier if it’s done in an open and stigma-free environment. Only in these environments can people address the issues that they are struggling with and can grow as people, and after all, that’s what education is all

about. heythrop is a very welcoming and open place to be, everyone knows everyone else and there’s a great sense of community here. this makes it perfect for open and honest discussions, even regarding things like sex and relationships. On Monday we have a Big Sex Quiz and Blind Date evening in the Loyola hall. John Ross will be playing the role of Cilla in a round of Blind Date that will take place at the end of the quiz, which has a series of fun and exotic questions. It’ll be just like a pub quiz, the only difference being that everything will be about sex. So gather teams and be prepared! Everything has prizes, and there’s a free raffle as well as gift bags filled with goodies on the tables already; all prizes are courtesy of Simply Pleasure.com, an adult supplier with a flagship store in Soho, London

that is very easy to find, and Creative Conceptions, manufacturers who make such products as the Screaming O cockring rage, the multi-award winning ID Lubricant range and Skins condoms.

On Wednesday there will be a slave auction. Anyone can put themselves up to be sold and all proceeds will be going to Stonewall. I’m sure there are plenty of people who fancy a good night out (or in) with someone so come on down and see what you can find yourself!

Everything finishes on the Friday night with a Valentines’ Ball in the Lounge.

Again, there will be odds and ends being given away and it will surely be a fun night with the jukebox all loved-up.

London is a great place to be, and heythrop is even better so let’s stop beating around the bush and be open and honest about who or what you care about.

10

Friday 4TH february | THE LION

COMMENT

The Gay Agenda?

Bradley Smith looks satirically on the controversial topic of gay rights

Bradley Smith 3rd year P.R.E I know what you’re thinking – homosexuals are against God and nature (and, yes, it is a choice), and that the insidious spread of the acceptance of this vile perversion is bad enough, but I have bad news. As Melanie Phillips of The Daily Mail has written, ‘schoolchildren are to be bombarded with homosexual references in maths, geography and science lessons as part of a Government-backed drive to promote the gay agenda.’ So, now homosexuals are starting to brainwash our children into not only accepting homosexuality, but thinking that it is a normal and natural behaviour! As many commentators have written recently, we are witnessing the erosion of our British values and standards, which are being replaced with this nihilistic depravity, and for this to be taught in schools is, frankly, abuse. Our children will grow up without a moral compass, maladjusted and on a very slippery slope. If homosexuality is to become part of the national curriculum, who is to say what will come next? How long before we start regarding paedophiles with pity and mercy, instead of with revulsion and abhorrence? How long before paedophilia, one of the worst crimes possible, is made socially acceptable by the bleeding-heart liberals espousing the view of ‘what they do in the privacy of their own home is their business’?

This is all deeply worrying, however, it is only a symptom of a much wider disease. This moral erosion did not start with forgiving homosexuals for spreading HIV (and nor will it end with letting them control what our children learn.) No, we have to go further back than this. When did we see an explosion in homosexuality? The 80’s. Who was Prime Minister at that time? Margaret Thatcher. This, you see, is the problem. We started on this slippery slope as soon as we allowed feminists to entertain ideas above their station – sure, women were practically invaluable during our wartime efforts, but this is only because the men of our country had to leave to fight for the greater good. There was simply no one better to fill the gaps in employment created when mankind had to stand up for what was right. The options were to give women jobs, or give children jobs. And as we all know, children are stupid, lazy, smelly and annoying. At least giving the jobs to women meant the remaining men had something nice to look at.

After this, feminists began to get quite high-minded. They demanded a vote, political representation, equal pay etc etc... which all culminated in a female Prime Minister. As identified above, once this happened, it opened the gate for all manner of deviancy to flood society. Not only this, but do I need to remind everyone about the civil unrest during Thatcher’s reign? Poll tax riots, miners strikes – the country was not just protesting individual issues, it was realising it had made a huge mistake in allowing itself to be swayed by the feminist agenda.

It is telling that there has not been a female Prime Minister since. All is not lost... Yet. Look at what has happened in recent years – both Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin have been procuring increasing amounts of power in American politics, and look what happened to their economy. It has had a huge knock-on effect on our economy too!

We have unprecedented levels of female presence in government and big business, and our economy is failing.

We have unprecedented levels of female recruits in the military, and yet we are still unable to assert ourselves abroad!

Britain used to be a super-power, and look at us now.

All of this is evidence for what science has been telling us for years. Women and men are not equal. Women are smaller, slower; less physically capable.

You don’t need any tests to find this out, you can see it every day. Ruled and conflicted by their emotions, women might make good housewives, (as the roles of parenting and home-making are by no means the most strenuous

of activities) women do not, however, make good fighters, leaders or decision makers: its science.

So don’t allow the wool to be pulled over your eyes any longer. We must tackle not only the symptoms of Gay Britain, but also treat the root cause – militant feminism.

11

FRIDAY 4th FEBRuARY | THE LION

COMMENT

Silence is Golden Katie Plumb S&S Editor “Silence is the gateway to the soul, and the soul is the gateway to God,” says Abbott Christopher Jamison of Worth Abbey. I recently took the opportunity to go on a silent retreat at the Abbey, a Benedictine Monastery in West Sussex, just forty minutes train journey from London Victoria. A silent retreat, where someone takes time out to be silent and simply reflect upon themselves and God, are experiences that we enter more deeply into ourselves and come to a deeper understanding of who we are.

When we enter into silence, we start to see things with a far greater clarity than we did before.

I became interested in these retreats after my Spirituality and Mysticism lectures, where we as a class looked at some of the exercises that Christians can use to engage with God. As part of this we were encouraged to watch “the Big Silence” (watch it at www.youtube. com/SilenceAddict), a BBC television show that presents the journey of five people trying to bring silence into their daily lives. they did this using the spiritual exercises of St Ignatius of Loyola (the founder of our college) and then entered into eight days of silence. the five go through many emotions throughout their time, ranging from boredom, despair, frustration and finally, spiritual revelation.

In this short article, I want to share some of my experiences of a silent retreat. My main interest in going was born out of the realization that I have absolutely zero silence in my life. From the moment I wake up to the moment I fall asleep, I have the distractions of music from my head phones, the cacophony of busy streets, buses, tubes, tourists chatting, music in shops, iPlayer on my Mac, conversations and ironically, Church. London life is incredibly fast paced, we are always rushing, I have become so used to noise and so unaccustomed to silence that even basic tasks now need a sound track. We often say “if my life had a sound track, then this song would be in it…” but I became aware that my life does seem to have a sound track, and my times of silence were few and far between.

I arrived at Worth Abbey on the Friday evening without my iPhone, Mac, and headphones. I can safely say I was feeling a little apprehensive. I am usually confident and comfortable in new situations, but I felt a little out of my depth having seen the schedule for the weekend. I had only been to a Catholic church once and that had been on a field trip, I did not really know what the etiquette is in the Chapel, or in the presence of monks. As it happens I was to be greeted by two monks from the Abbey, Father Rod and Father Francis.

Both very welcoming indeed, which was a relief as I knew no one, but was immediately put at ease. I came to find out that one of the main virtues set by St Benedict for his monks was that hospitality for their guests was of the utmost importance; they certainly didn’t fall short. those of us on the retreat were staying in a separate building from the monks called “the Open Cloister”, designed in order to allow

people to come and stay and experience monastic life. the idea of the weekend had been labeled St Benedict today. the thirteen or so of us to experience life in the monastery and in particular to observe silence, which St Benedict states as important in his Rule. We as a group were to partake in all the formal activities of the monks, the morning and evening prayers, community mass, compline, eating together and to observe silence. My first evening involved going to Mass, which was a new experience for me, and even stranger to find myself heading back that way after thirty minutes for another time of prayer, and then once more after supper. the life in the Monastery revolves around set times of prayer that space out the day; A new experience for me, but I found the event different but comforting and relaxing.

Saturday was the day of silence. It began in the dark at 6:15am, with me pulling myself out of bed, sleepy eyes and tousled hair (my usual look) down to the unity room for Matins (a morning liturgy). Afterwards I stayed sat enjoying the stillness and the quiet and within the hour another Morning Prayer service had begun. I confess I may have fallen asleep in between the two services – that may be why I found it so peaceful. Following this, we walked back to Cloister to have breakfast at around 8am. I am very much a morning person, and quite happy to talk, however it was clear that for many silence and caffeine are the only things necessary for breakfast. there was classical music playing in the background, and we could look out at the stormy weather outside. In a monastery everyone is expected to chip in, so it was interesting to see people packing away in silence, everyone helping to tidy up (especially when my initial thought when I see cleaning equipment is to get away as quickly as possible). We managed to do it without communicating to each other. After joining the monks for Mass again, we had two short talks on why silence is important, and what techniques we can use to make the most of it. then it really began: absolute silence, throughout lunch and the clear up, and then we were free to go as we wanted, to experience the quiet garden, walk around the local forests and 500 acres of land owned by Worth Abbey, read in the library, sit in the Abbey narthex or the unity room. I opted for the walk round the forest and simply allowed the silence to wash over me. It was a very odd experience. My biggest fear when travelling down to the Abbey was that I would be bored or lonely, but as it turns out I’m a really interesting person to talk to and thoroughly enjoyed my own company… the experience was surprisingly enjoyable; it was interesting to go from the noise of London, to nothing but the wind and the bleating of sheep.

I wouldn’t usually describe myself as very good at praying; I find it very easy to get distracted. however given the space and the time, and the techniques we were taught, I found myself to have an uncharacteristically good clarity of thought and focus. I spent much of this time reflecting over my life, this past year and also on the year to come. I won’t pretend that I had an epiphany, or a life-altering experience, but I found the afternoon very serene. In this time, I did things that I had never done be-

fore. I took time to look at the detail of a leaf, I watched thirty or so deer run in front of me, I watched the sunset, and stargazed upon a cloudless (freezing cold) night. I’ll stop there before we all well up. But these brief experiences where I used my senses in a deeper way than I would normally were very profound and moving. It put me into scale.

I felt for the first time very small, and was no longer the centre of my world.

All these are experiences that I never would have had, or fully appreciated with the distractions that I so often find in my London life.

I returned back to the cloister for evening prayer and silent supper. this time when eating I found myself taking my time, eating more slowly and taking a lot more notice of what I was eating. So often I will shovel food into my mouth whilst watching iPlayer or reading a paper, without taking any notice. this time the food seemed to have more flavor, a better texture, and a stronger smell. Even a simple orange, I had never been aware of the smell that they have. I suddenly had quite an overwhelming sense of thankfulness for food that I am sure we all take for granted most of the time. needless to say, I was very surprised by my reaction to eating. All I expected to think was that not talking around the dinner table is the most unnatural thing to do, but it wasn’t - it felt comfortable, and there was a sense of unity amongst the group. though we were not talking to each other, we were united in the silence and were not solitary beings, which made it the most natural thing in the world.

to speak the following lunchtime, the first thing to come up was our night’s sleep. the general consensus was that it was one of the worst night sleeps of our lives. Most said they had suffered from nightmares and disrupted sleep, and others said that they simply could not sleep the whole night. We found out that this was a fairly normal experience on a retreat. I think that explanations for this are very varied, depending on what position you come from, I asked Dr Gemma Simmonds CJ of this college who helps on these retreats regularly and I think her view is very reasonable “in silent prayer we reach a depth of ourselves where much of our unresolved material and issues get touched into, and the processing starts to begin furiously… I always see this, now, both in myself and others as a very positive thing and a sign that we are getting down to proper brass tacks.” When I woke the next morning I did not feel distressed by my dreams (I never take much stock in them), but I was surprised to experience such vivid and aggressive dreams.

the day ended with us all going for the last communal prayers with the monks, and then to bed. When we were allowed

the monks allowed us a lie in the next day as morning prayers started at the late time of 7:20am (I am not sure it

is healthy to see Sunday morning before 11am). this time I entered into silent contemplation with the thoughts of my nights sleep in my mind, trying to seek some understanding from it.

We were then allowed to speak again.

We entered our final session where we expressed all that we thought we had gained from the weekend, and what we could take back to “the real world.”

I think what I gained most from my experience was that I actually could be silent. I didn’t need my headphones, my iPhone or Mac. I could simply sit and reflect for a time and just be still. this is something that I have hopefully taken back with me. Ask me in a month whether I am still doing it, but I like to think that I can take a little part of my day just to sit, reflect and be. I also found the early morning rises valuable, as it allowed me to see as much of the day as I could (although first day back I set my alarm for seven and snoozed in until ten). I have honestly found this a really beneficial experience, and I think judging by the wide variety of people on the retreat, it can be effective for lots of other people too. If you would like to sign up online or for more information go to www.worthabbey.net/cloister.

Christian Unity James Barber 2nd year theology two weeks ago it was the Week for Christian unity and looking at that Sunday’s readings, it is not hard to see why. Paul implored us to settle our differences because these matters of disagreement are serious, yet he calls for us not to proclaim our particular slogans, but instead the name of Christ (1 Corinthians 1:10-13,17). however, how can this unity come about when many ecclesial communions are so divided among themselves, and the Church seems growingly in crisis? Interestingly, the reading from Corinthians uses the term “slogans” which currently are common place. not only does Paul disagree with what these slogans say, but also the multiplicity of them which present nothing but Christ divided. Again, how can we bridge these divisions?

Paul provides only one tenet here: the abandonment of Philosophy. however the face value of this verse in unhelpful and only serves to undermine, instead he seems to reject the simple doctrinal approach to dialogue, by which I mean the exchange of dogmas to the detriment of human interaction; there must be more. In the history of ecu-

menical dialogue, as little as I know, there have been two emphatic lessons: 1)Explicit condemnations of erroneous doctrines do not work.

2)Forcing each other to worship together causes awkwardness and confusion on both sides.

It is clear the issues are deeper than simple doctrine or splits within religious practice which can be overcome by ignoring them. the Christian life spans more than just these issues.

Looking upon the nature of the practical life within the Church, there are three separate layers which follow very much the ancient Jewish model of life present at the time of Christ: home, temple and Synagogue. Of course times have moved from these strict boundaries, however this system of human life with God still exists and inter-Christian dialogue, to succeed, must act on all three levels. Synagogue is represented in the Church by her teaching office, where open debate can take place so that both sides of particular doctrinal disputes can move forward from their historical shackles and where truth can be sought, no matter where it leads. temple is represented by the priesthood, but effective discourse does not take place by awkwardly forcing both to celebrate pseudo-liturgies together but instead to simply get to

know each other, undermining any perceived animosity between groups which often causes dialogue problems.

Lastly the home is represented by the laity who can invite each other into their homes, to make friends and to exchange their experiences. Difficult at many levels as I realise all of this may be, perhaps it could produce genuinely beneficial dialogue rather than the stale and awkward ecumenical conferences and events that often take place.

As a Catholic there is something which jumps out, particularly because of my theological studies; that of the doctrinal debate. the mutual debate that can take place leads all involved towards the truth if all genuinely seek it. Alarm bells instantly ring because it appears, probably to even non-Catholics, that this entails the abandonment of doctrines at some level. however, as a Catholic I believe that the entire truth of revelation resides within the Church, so what should we fear when pursuing the truth? It is the same of every denomination that regards itself as true, so surely theological exchange is acceptable. until something considerable happens, then all most of us can do is but pray and love our neighbours, as Christ loved us, and trust in God, that he may guide all of us to Christian unity in the truth so that we may proclaim, like Paul, the one Christ.

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Television: A Christmas Carol - Doctor Who Special Marc Crosby 1st year Undergraduate If you will, please enter my TARDIS (that’s a time machine for all you weirdos who have a social life) as we return to Christmas Day 2010. The day chosen for the celebration of the Birth of Christ is an odd one; after the capitalist’s wet dream of the giving and receiving of useless and over-priced gifts we all settle down and feast on the carcass of a mass farmed animal who we have chosen should traditionally suffer at this time of year. Come the evening and the TV is littered with ‘Christmas Specials’ of just about everything, regardless of how secular these programs profess to be. Since Doctor Who has returned it has produced one of these Christmas Specials each year, to varying levels of success. A Christmas Carol, its latest offering, is possibly the strongest yet.

Before I, in utter fanboy mode, explain why, perhaps some further travelling in time is needed.

The show returned in 2005 under head writer Russell T. Davies with Christopher Eccleston as ‘The Doctor’ (you remember him don’t you? The guy who kept David Tennant’s seat warm for a

year. No?! He was actually quite good…)

Davies remained in charge until 2009 and left at the same time as Tennant, rather traumatically, ‘regenerated’ (again, for those of you who have a boyfriend/girlfriend: changed actor) into Matt Smith, a walking talking Easter Island Statue with a fetish for tweed.

Davies’ contribution to the show was, in all fairness, phenomenal, transforming the show from the butt of every scifi prop department joke to something of a British institution. It brought incredible characterisation, deep emotional resonance and progressive writing (his subtle inclusion of homosexuality in a family drama was superb and far more maturely handled than the first series of the supposedly adult Torchwood).

However, Davies seemed to struggle immensely with writing logical and satisfying plots, with far too many of his scripts descending into childish nonsense with incredibly dark undertones.

Taking over from Davies was Stephen Moffat, a writer who had delivered some amazing scripts for both Eccleston and Tennant. His first series, which began April 2010, was largely positively received but something of a fan divider.

For a critical examination you can time travel all the way back to the first issue of The Lion, where Gala presents a rather harsh view of the new series.

For me, Moffat has provided a breath of fresh air, described by some as ‘darker but more innocent’, it has managed to get rid of much of the baggage of the Davies era and kick the Doctor off subtly but confidently into a new direction.

A Christmas Carol, the latest penned Moffat episode, was a brilliant example of how great the show can be. The premise was Doctor Who does A Christmas Carol, with a time travelling take on the classic Dickens novel. Starring Michael Gambon as Scroo…I mean Kazran Sardick, it told the tale of The Doctor’s struggle to redeem Kazran in order to save the lives of travellers aboard a space cruiser, including his two companions, Amy and Rory. This was perhaps the best Moffat story since he became head writer; it was witty, emotional and great fun. Like the best of his work, everything within the story came together to deliver a satisfying and uplifting, if slightly bittersweet, conclusion.

It’s fair to say that the Dickens story has been done to death (of course the Muppets’ version is the best), but Moffat manages to make it a tale worth seeing.

Most importantly, when this version strays from the original it does so in a smart and enjoyable way. Without giv-

ing away the plot (in case you are exceedingly odd and decide to watch this Christmas Special in the middle of summer or something) there is a fantastic twist on the ‘ghost of the future’ concept which really demonstrates how cleverly Moffat has adapted the original concept. He could be criticised for changing the message of the story; the way in which the Doctor attempts to re-write Kazran’s life takes away the redemptive feature found in the original tale, however Moffat finds a moral of his own; of living each day to the full, which has to be commended.

Matt Smith as The Doctor is rapidly becoming my favourite incarnation, delivering a stunningly alien performance. Playing the character like a kid on Christmas Eve, it’s amazing how well the Christmas context suits him and delivers a welcome contrast from the more ‘emo’ Tennant Doctor, who Davies seemed to be using increasingly as a fictitious punching bag. Amy and Rory, the two companions from the previous series, take a back seat in this episode which is something to be grateful for.

Amy Pond, you can’t help but feel is Moffat’s fantasising getting the best of him. Sexually promiscuous, beautiful and very leggy, Moffat manages to contrive a scenario which gets her back in

her short skirted police uniform…the devil! Unfortunately she’s quite a bland character, occasionally plain unlikable and just not as well rounded as past companions (well, she’s better than Martha…but that’s not saying much).

Gambon, unsurprisingly to those familiar with his work, is brilliant, taking the role seriously (something I’m not sure all actors who guest star in the programme do) but still having fun at the same time. A bigger surprise is the inclusion of singer Katherine Jenkins (the perfect woman) playing Abigail, Kazran’s love interest. As a shock to many critics she really does do a good job in the role, cast perfectly as the ‘sleeping beauty’ of the story, and the welcome opportunity for her to show of her vocal talents in the episode feel natural and unforced.

If you can’t quite tell, I’m a big fan.

Doctor Who manages to be totally ridiculous escapism (I haven’t even mentioned the bizarre focus on fish this episode has…the monster of the day is a shark!), but at the same time meaningful and poignant; illogical and fantastical whilst being clever and witty. It seems the show is in good hands and the glimpse of the new series looks very promising. If you haven’t yet, embrace the inner geek and give the show a chance!

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FRIDAY 4th FEBRuARY | THE LION

Theatre: Roald dahl’s Twisted Tales John Ord Culture Editor It seems the Lyric hammersmith theatre is going through a bit of a dark phase at the moment, as following on from Sarah Kane’s Blasted there is now the twisted and brutal world of Roald Dahl’s tales of the unexpected in this new adaptation by Jeremy Dyson. Dyson is an accomplished writer already, winning fame through his work on the League of Gentlemen and winning and being nominated for a number of prestigious awards for his short stories, including winning the 2010 Edge hill Award. the combination is thus an obviously exciting prospect.

It loses none of the gruesome world that provides the background for the deceptively cruel characters. Reading even a small way into the life of Roald Dahl and you begin to understand why

CULTURE the drop-down wall were also very good and prove that the simplest solutions really are often the best.



this adaptation is as dark as it is. the abusive scene at boarding school echoes his own life and was clearly the informative period that inspired his work. the stories themselves work to disguise the subtle shadows beneath a veneer of uneasy humour. At many points throughout the show people were laughing and it was a mixture of comedy and awkward tension.

Probably the best thing about the show was the set. A fake back wall sat in the middle of the space as a revolving circle of stage would turn, the area behind the wall being prepared for the next scene as the current scene was being played. the props were mostly simple but all were good at setting the mood. the dark lighting was well engineered, lighting designer James Farncombe and costume and set designer naomi Wilkinson make a good team, both understanding the mechanisms behind the show very well. the mechanisms to introduce the train and train station, namely the chairs on wheels and

Literature: Intimate Adventures of a London Call Girl by Belle de Jour.

Hazel dixon st 1 year undergraduate I’m going to make a speculation here.

A large number of us know very little about prostitution; most of you have probably never been or hired as a prostitute. I certainly haven’t. In fact, my first and most meaningful experience of prostitution to date came in Fresher’s Week. not having a laptop or enough money to go to all the Fresher’s events, I sat in my room and read the Intimate Adventures of a London Call Girl by Belle de Jour. the book consists of various blog posts published on the “Belle de Jour” weblog between 2003 and 2004. At this early point in the article, I want to discourage you from believing that this is the book of ItV2’s Secret Diary of a Call Girl because, although the events are ever-so-loosely based on the blog, it is also largely dissimilar. the book contains exactly what it says on the cover. however, this would probably be more accurate if the book was entitled the Intimate, Explicit and sometimes just plain Icky Adventures of a Perfectly normal Londoner. As you can probably guess, it’s mainly focused around Belle’s exploits as a £300/hour call girl but it also looks at her general “normal” life too. It’s not beautifully written. Perhaps that’s all we can expect of someone who’s a blogger and not a novelist. It certainly doesn’t make for great novel-reading and is hardly a page-turner unless what makes you turn pages is trying to find out how someone is going to be anally penetrated today.

I think one of the reasons people tend to find this book annoying is that Belle de Jour’s life is just too gosh-darned

normal. there are no scenes of her injecting heroin into her arms while her 8 illegitimate children watch Sesame Street. She texts her boyfriend, gets annoyed at the underground, visits her Mum, has break-ups and buys light bulbs. Sure, somewhere in the middle of that you’ll read about a guy peeing on her in the bath while she cries for erotic purposes but unfortunately she generally has quite a normal life. And to add to the sheer mundane nature of it all, you then find out that she was using her money to fund a PhD in informatics, epistemology and forensic science. I’m not going to make a big deal out of the fact that a prostitute would have a PhD and go on to become a researcher in child cancer because I think we’re past seeing prostitutes as drug-taking depraved desperadoes. Oh, she also used the money to buy lots of underwear but that probably goes with the territory… nonetheless, it’s probably time we sat down and accepted that sex doesn’t need to be something sensationalised.

I have little doubt that the main reason that people are buying this book and subsequent others that Belle has published is because they feel that they are missing out on something and, rather than try it out themselves, want to read about someone else doing it.

I should probably add some sort of public warning here saying that although being a high-paid prostitute may seem like a good way to pay off your student loan at the time, it may lead to, amongst other things, nuns being displeased in you.

So, if you see yourself as the sort of person who might enjoy reading about fisting over a light lunch at Pret, then Intimate Adventures of a London Call Girl is the book for you.

the performances from the actors don’t let the action down at all. It can’t be easy to transition between so many characters so quickly, including the costume changes and differences in character.

Each character was individual and different from the rest, which was a good achievement for such a small cast tackling a large number of characters that changes so quickly. they never looked lost or hasty, always having a collected and precise control of what was going on. there was no obvious weak link in the cast. trevor White attracted attention every time he was on stage, especially as the mysterious stranger who has a fondness for telling stories, and nick Fletcher was also well suited to his roles, the difference being stark between his Perkins and his fingerfriendly gentleman. George Rainsford also had a few characters that were very different; the senior at boarding school was utterly different to his young and ambitious American. the women also give strong performances, Selina Griffiths making a good effort playing so many disenchanted wives and spinsters and Alexandra Maher mixing up an

equally diverse mix of characters. the whole cast had a lot to deal with; the swiftness of changing from one character to the next, one set to the next, one costume to the next, must have been difficult to keep up with and must have presented a challenge to keep the plot flowing throughout.

It was a very controlled performance throughout, which rendered both good and bad results. It was good because it gave the show a sense of detachment that worked well with the material. Because they are all forays into the power of imagination, it was quite unsettling having the sparse and dream-like stage (I’m a big fan of the clock that remains throughout) seem so far away and surreal. the actors were very sharp and precise, giving it a stylised feel that also fitted the quick and detached angle, working well. the whole thing seemed very mechanical, as if they were going through the motions of the show. this added to the detached atmosphere but I’m not sure whether or not it was a good thing. the scenes themselves moved from one to another with a swiftness that characterised this formality.

I think that’s the main problem with the show. It’s almost formal. As an exploration into imagination it is suitably

dream-like and has the feel of a fairytale about it, however this does create the detachment of the half-waking halfsleeping world where we drift in and out of imagination and this runs the risk of being too detached. It ends with the narrator, a young child played well

by Jonathan Dancinger, sitting on the train and encountering characters from the stories that have just been told. A good an fitting ending, leaving the show in your imagination as you leave, wondering what will befall the lonely child on the train.

It’s a good show that boasts a very good design, the stage and the costumes being suitable highlights. the acting is also strong and the whole show is done in a very surreal and imaginary way, which is good. It’s a good show and worth seeing for any Roald Dahl fan, and even if you’re not all that familiar with tales of the unexpected or any more of Dahl’s more adult fiction, it’s still very interesting to see.

Written by Roald Dahl; Adapted by Jeremy Dyson; Directed by Polly Findlay; at the Lyric hammersmith; Starring trevor White, George Rainsford, nick Fletcher, Selina Griffiths, Alexandra Maher, Jonathan Dancinger; Runs from 14 Jan 2011 to 26 Feb 2011.

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FRIDAY 4th FEBRuARY | THE LION

CULTURE Post-Christmas Cocktails

50ml cream (or milk) if using cream, use a cocktail shaker to blend all elements together with ice. If using milk, pour the heaviest liquer in first (creme de cacao, kahlua, or similar) then add ice, then the brandy, then pour frothed milk over the back of a spoon to create a layered effect. sprinkle cocoa powder & nutmeg to finish.

The Student Hob: A Saucey New Year!

WHITE RUSSIAN Another classic - and rightly so. It’s beautiful. try it, be converted.

25ml Kahlua/tia maria 50ml vodka milk sprinkle nutmeg

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Marianne Levi 3rd year undergraduate January is a hideously depressing time of year. take into consideration the christmas and new year comedown, bankruptcy, cold weather, weight gain, month-long hangovers, &, in my case, the most treacherously icy staircase in chiswick, & then see how much you want to leave your bed in the morning to face the day. not a lot, I gather. But, even though I welcome my sister’s gift of a hip-flask for christmas [mine had been worn somewhat], there comes a point when pouring whisky into your breakfast coffee or buying cheap nasty mulled wine from pubs is just not enough to warm your winter woes. this is why I am bringing you the most delicious, cheering, and occasionally medicinal winter drinks to cure your january hell.

SPICy WINTER WARMER A chef friend of mine came up with this when I had a weird selection of juices, lots of rum, one of those mulled-wineheating-things & a kitchen full of spices. drink this, you’ll never go back to winter pimms or mulled wine!

50ml[or however much you want to

pour] spiced rum 75ml apple juice 25ml pomegranate juice tsp/squeeze of honey cinnamon & nutmeg to taste Rum in first, followed by honey & spices. heat the apple & pomegranate juice SEPARAtELY (or you will burn the alcohol off the rum) until they are warmed through, & add. this also works well cold.

WHISKEy & GINGER A classic. Essentially, as much whiskey as you want followed by some green ginger wine - or ginger ale. Why not warm it and add in some grated orange zest or grated ginger root? It adds to the flavour and ginger is genuinely brilliant for colds & winter disease. Put some honey in to lessen the strength of the whiskey if you’re not a fan.

BRANdy ALEXANdER A classic - second only in ridiculous indulgence to a white russian (explained later).

50ml brandy 25ml creme de cacao (or, if that isn’t available, try baileys if you like creamy drinks, tia maria or kahlua if you want a hint of coffee, or amaretto for a hint of almond - or anything else, it’s up to you!)

Music: Reviews Almaz Messenger 2rd year undergraduate

ten times better than the released version. Eat your heart out Cher X-Factor, eat your heart out.

7 out of 10

JESSIE J - dO IT LIKE A dUdE

dUFFy - WELL WELL WELL

Jessie J is like an Essex-bred version of what a white Rihanna/nicki Minaj/ M.I.A lovechild might look and sound like, but with a better voice. ‘Do it like a Dude’ is a slice of bass-thumping, floor-shaking chart-friendly hip-hop, with plenty of attitude and distinctive vocals. We’ve kind of been over the concept of the ladies being all hard and manly many times before in the top 40 though, and although the song is catchy, it’s not massively original. having said this, she is way more convincing than Beyonce’s soppy ballad and Ciara’s attempt at being just like a man and she certainly has made an entrance. You can’t deny the girl’s got a pair of lungs on her. If you’re interested, the acoustic version of this is crazy,

It’s just something about Duffy’s voice that makes me want to crawl away and

beg for mercy. From the get go, true to form, that’s exactly what this song does to me. It’s like ‘Mercy’ but way more persistent on the eardrums, once her voice kicks in, it doesn’t relent for the whole two and a half minutes. there’s no respite. the song doesn’t have much range either, so it consists of Duffy meandering around the same notes, with no variation in volume. And when the imaginative chorus comes is (well well well well well well) you are left pleading ‘please, please make it stop’. And then it does. the saving quality of the song is it’s short length. Please leave the retro warbling to Adele, Duffy. Please.

You seem lovely and everything, but... it hurts.

2 out of 10 HUMAN LEAGUE NIGHT PEOPLE Absolutely barmy. It’s all 80’s synths, 80’s style vocals and some nutty lyrics,

there are tWO WAYS to mix this drink - one is to add everything to a shaker shake - obviously, and then serve over or without ice. Sprinkle nutmeg over the top.

Or, in absence of a shaker, pour in kahlua, & add ice. Vodka over the top.

Pour milk over the back of a spoon for layered effect, sprinkle nutmeg in. this looks beautiful, but remember to stir it before you drink. (tip; froth some baileys & cream together and add to the top in a cappucinolike foam and top with cocoa powder as well, but that might just be a little too heart attack inducing) And no winter drinks list could be complete without: THE ULTIMATE HOT TOddy traditional & delicious. Also, it’s good for your health. I used to be given it to cure my colds when I was little, & that’s one of the bonuses of coming from a scottish family. Yeah. any amount of whiskey - be generous, but make it SCOtCh honey to taste juice of half a lemon hot or near-boiling water optional - grated ginger root (this may just be my family) Mix whiskey, honey, (optional ginger depends if you like it!) & squeeze & drop the lemon into the glass. Pour over hot water, stir again, drink. ahhhhh.

We don’t have to settle for overpriced mulled wine from pubs, & following our breakfaste-coffee-and-whiskey we can move to bigger & better things. When your student loan comes through, spend on something cheering, warming and tasty. n.B. this article does not encourage alcoholism. Much. like ‘time to go out from your houses, Must we creep round like the mouses?’

It sounds like a 4 year old has been told to come up with something in ten seconds that rhymes. Another gem ‘Leave your cornflakes in your freezers, Leave your chocolate and your cheeses’. Yes, so, um, I don’t really know what to say.

Inescapably catchy chorus though, arguably annoying, like a brainworm. But it’s all good fun, in all it’s glorious sillyness. And it does capture the feel of those weird late night/early morning moments.

5 out of 10

Francesca Gosling 2nd year undergraduate happy belated new Year and welcome back to another gruelling, yet hopefully worthwhile, year of heythropian life.

Round about now most people should be caving in on their new-year-diets and realising that, pretty as the student loan figure is, it doesn’t actually cover all that much for very long! So if you want something flavoursome, frugal and easy on the fat, I have a few saucy options to help spice up your detox. I came up with these two recipes while I was living with a friend over the summer. he was one of those people who really has actual food in the kitchen, but the cupboards are nevertheless packed with obscure spices and flavourings. So on the evenings when he was out and I had little else to do, I played around with them and, while some of my concoctions were genuinely vile, a couple did work out pretty well!

Fajita Salsita!

If you’ve ever made a Mexican meal you probably know that buying all these jars of specific sauces and seasonings is actually pretty expensive. But you can make your own salsa, just as tasty, with standard cupboard ingredients.

Firstly, slice and fry together a red onion and two peppers of any colour. As they begin to soften mix in red chilli powder (quantity really depends on how daring you feel) and half a teaspoon of powdered sweet red pepper. next, add a tin of chopped tomatoes (or two if you have lots of ponchos to fill) and allow to simmer for about 5 minutes. Season with salt and the juice of half a lime before serving with sour cream for your fajita fiesta!

White-Wine Cream this is my own twist on a retro classic and goes really well with chicken, bacon and mushrooms!

Finely chop and fry together half a red onion, two small cloves of garlic and a bunch of fresh parsley. then pour in half a bottle of white wine, any leftover will do, and simmer for a few minutes. take a tablespoon of this mixture and stir it into a cup of single cream mixed with a teaspoon of mustard or mild spicy sauce (so that it blends easier in the pan). If your new Year’s diet is going better than mine you can use 2/3 of a tub of crème fraiche instead of cream, sweetened with a teeny blob of honey.

Mix this back into the pan, lower the heat and season with a little salt. After about 5 minutes, when the sauce is an even golden colour and has a runny but creamy consistency, it will be ready to serve!

With these sauces you can feel free to experiment with your favourite flavours, like I did, and see what works best with what. Bon appétit!

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FRIDAY 4th FEBRuARY | THE LION

Sport & Societies

Bike Polo Update

‘improving in leaps and bounds’ Joe Walsh head of Bike Polo It’s a new year and a new set of wildly improbable plans for the heythrop Bike Polo Society. So far this season we have played 8 games. to put it bluntly, we aren’t as good as some of the players who have been playing for 2 – 3 years, but we did recently receive accolades from a veteran of 2 years ‘Dublin Kevin’ and John Marshal, one of the best polo players in London. John described us as, “improving in leaps and bounds.

Luke got an awesome goal in the second game when he caught Kevin and I sleeping.” Whilst Kevin said, “heythrop should be given some sort of contributor/achievement award by the league at the end. they’ve turned up to every scheduled game, played against well established teams while never dropping their heads, and improving.

Fair play to them.” I’m pleased to say that, despite never quite having the same team, we always turn up and give it a really good go.

So far this season we played 8 matches in the ‘division B’ of the London League, scoring, on average, about a goal a game. I realise that this sounds distinctly unimpressive but consider this, out of the teams we’ve been playing most players have been playing for at least a year. they have custom polo bikes (which I will explain as a concept below) and have played at least 2 major tournaments. three of the teams we play are European and World contenders. We are the only complete novices in the league and I’d say, considering it was only last game that we finally created three polo bikes, we are doing pretty damn well! Mid-February we’ll be heading to Cambridge for a 24 hour tournament knockout and in the summer, we’ll be playing most weekends, in exercise based procrastination.

In the light of an improved budget my plans for the society are as follows: to build a ‘loaner’ bike for beginners to play on before they commit to the sport to have at least 2/3 spare mallets to have a fully equipped toolkit and work stand to have team hoodies and wheelcovers. to do up the remaining spare bikes to a standard where they can be used as transport.

Established practices on a thursday in

our new(ish) court!

A standard polo bike has a number of characteristics. For the layman.. Bike Polo bikes tend to be either ‘freewheel’ (meaning you can spin your pedals backwards and the wheel is not directly attached to the pedals) or ‘fixed’ (meaning the wheels move as the pedals move). typically these bikes will have a single gear, which will be a very high gear, meaning a good rate of acceleration, but not a particularly high speed. the handlebars are extremely short to allow a good swing with the mallet and a high degree of control. Furthermore the tyres are combination of wide, but slick allowing stability and speed. now the bike geek version...typically, a polo bike runs either BMX chainrings (39t or less) with a similar sized sprocket giving it an almost 1 to 1 ratio with 45 chain inches or less. It can run either 700c or 26” sized tyres although polo players run everything from 24”700c tyres. I run 700c x 38 as of this month and that seems to work fine.

Additionally, for most bikes, their forks cut down making the stem sit practically on top of the frame. Most people again use BMX stems because they are, frankly, indestructible. Polo bikes have either a ‘double brake’ lever that works both front and back (typical on the free wheel models) and most polo players prefer to use ‘V-style’ MtB brakes because you can stop much more effectively. For fixed gear, calliper brakes are fine, since you can control far more by yourself. Generally oversized 31.5 or 26 (25.4) sized handlebars make sense for the tougher demands of the sport and grips are vital. Bar ends MuSt be plugged before the game. nO KILLInG OF OthER PLAYERS. Pedals straps are a matter of choice, but quite useful for the goalie. If you are interested in this particularly absurd sport, log into ‘lfgss.com’ and look at the Bike Polo section for all things polo related or just talk to me about it!

What I hope is that new people try Bike Polo and get to enjoy it as much as we are at the moment, because the key thing is to try it! We have spare bikes and mallets and practice on a thursday and would love if you gave it a go, if only to try out the game. What we are hoping is that, whilst we always have a team to field at various polo tournaments, we’d begin playing regularly at thursday practices in notting hill so anyone can have the chance to give it ago.

“I went to a Jesuit College and it made a difference” Fr dave Stewart SJ Fr Rocco Viviano Chaplaincy Your new Chaplaincy here at heythrop College is continuing to grow & develop and we want to tell you about it. Some plans are being enacted already and many more are in the pipeline.

We’ve already had a couple of meetings with a group of students, to talk about the idea that we might form a link with a school or college in the Developing World. nearer home, we’ve started looking at ways of working with the Jesuit Refugee Service locally and already our first heythrop volunteers are in touch with them. Fr.Rocco has made great progress in gathering interfaith and ecumenical groups while Fr.Dave is working on ways to make Ignatian Spirituality better known, including the offer of quiet times of prayer and meditation, to begin after Reading Week.

Each chaplain is kept busy by students, and staff, just dropping in – and we will always try to be as available as we can be for that, too.

Rocco and Dave are getting more used to the College; we’ve both been here before, of course, as students but this time it’s a bit different. Already we’ve been talking with many of the students, and with staff colleagues, about how this important ministry can be enhanced and developed for the life and the unique mission of the College.

It’s already been said in many places, and it will continue to be said, that this College, founded by the Jesuits in 1614, is part of a world-wide phenomenon that we call Jesuit Education. Part of Dave’s role as the Chaplaincy is redeveloped is to make that dimension better known and to discern what might be the implications for people here.

Almost three million students attend Jesuit educational institutions of one kind or another worldwide. these can be students and pupils from the world’s poorest and most disadvantaged places, such as the Dalit (“untouchable”) children, so beloved of Ghandi, in rural India, or hIV/AIDS orphans in an East African slum. Yet they can also be research students at some of the world’s finest universities, such as the Jesuitrun university of San Francisco or new York’s Fordham university in the uSA

(our next-door neighbours here in Kensington Square); and every level of educational work in between.

So, what do these people and places have in common? At one level, of course, is their founding at some point in history by the Jesuits. But it goes much deeper than that. Jesuits have, since the time of their founder St.Ignatius (1491 – 1556) himself, have included education in our broad range of ministries because of a firm belief in the power of education to set people free and thereby to allow people to become all they can be – we’d say, to grow in the dignity of a unique daughter or son of God. this is sometimes called “Ignatian humanism”. this involves academic rigour, of course it does, and the sort of world-affirming attitude that was so fresh and revolutionary in the sixteenth century. Slavish adherence to doctrine and dogma this is not! But it also engages a concern for that world and its people, particularly where there is suffering and injustice.

In every Jesuit educational institute you could ever visit, you’d find the same concern for those less privileged, and that ethos extends to asking why so many people are suffering in poverty. It was for refusing to stop asking just such questions, at an academic level, that six

Jesuit professors (and their cook and her daughter) were assassinated at the university of El Salvador just over 21 years ago.

In 1973, the great Jesuit Superior-General, Fr.Pedro Arrupe SJ, first coined that ringing phrase “forming men and women for others”. Fr.Arrupe wanted a contemporary definition of the purpose of Jesuit universities & schools. Almost 40 years on, it is just as relevant and, arguably, more urgent than ever in a world where inequality has increased and so many are suffering from violence or, for example, an increasing risk of food and water shortages. Students at Jesuit Colleges identify their gifts and talents, but then place these at the service of others, particularly the poorest, for the glory of God and the common good. that’s an awareness that we like to see develop here through the new heythrop Chaplaincy, whether it’s volunteering at Jesuit Refugee Service in Wapping or being one of the first heythropians to travel overseas, or to offer your talents for College Choir or help set up the meditation & prayer groups. We’d love it if you were able to say “I went to a Jesuit College and it made a difference”. It will make a difference, if you take the opportunity -- a difference to you, yes, but also to other people who, through your generosity, are able to live life to the full.

Islamic Society - Guest Speaker Joe Walsh VP of Islamic Soc Dr Damian howard SJ, will be presenting an open discussion on the subject ‘how can Christians and Muslims find common ground?’. this is more of a discussion rather than a lecture where everyone can share different views and ideas.

the event is on the 9th of February and will start at 3:30pm and finish at 5:00pm, in Seminar Room 1. this is part of the Islamic Soc’s ongoing program of lectures, starting with a lecture in the winter term from Achmed Achtar on the importance of seeing ‘various Islams’ and not a single ‘Islam’ where we, as a society, attempted to provide both Muslims and non-Muslims with a

chance to have a discussion on the nature of Islam itself. this term, we will be focusing on the relation between Islam and other religions, particularly Christian-Muslim relations. For the first of these lectures we have the honour of having an expert in the field, Dr howard, give us the chance for a discussion that should prove informative and illuminating!

Dr Damien howard SJ, according to the heythrop website, is an “English Jesuit priest and has been a lecturer at heythrop College since September 2010. he is a graduate of trinity College, Cambridge, the London School of Economics, the Centre Sèvres in Paris, the School of Oriental and African Studies of the university of London, and gained his doctorate in contem-

porary Islamic thought from the university of Birmingham.” his research interests include relations between Christians and Muslims. he is particularly concerned to help Christians develop a theological response to Islam. this will be an interesting talk from an expert that should prove useful for both Muslims, non-Muslims. We hope you’ll come along!

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