THE PERFECT 10’s
THE BEST CAMPUS EYE CANDY
THE WAR AFTER THE WAR WHY WOMEN VETERANS ARE STILL FIGHTING T immy K nudsen
BLAST FROM THE PAST
THE NEWEST FASHIONS BRING FLAVORS OF THE ICONIC 50S
H ot I ssue
TIMMY KNUDSEN ARE WE LOOKING AT OUR FUTURE PRESIDENT?
THE
HOT ISSUE
Dept Section
TITLE || 1
42 See why Alexia Theodorakis is our perfect woman.
2 || TITLE
INTOXICATED
IMPULSE 3
contents 7 Editor’s Letter 8 Editor’s Picks 9 Students Tell All
IGNITE 10 THE SHOW STOPPER
Polly Bland’s unique look makes us stare.
12 THE STROKES OF GENIUS Ben Barber is more than good on paper.
13 THE CLASSIC
Is Laura King the next Ingrid Bergman?
14 THE STAR MAKER
Djordje Gasic can make you or break you.
IMPRESS 15 PASTEL PLEASURES
Sweeten your look with soft colors.
18 ACCESSORIZE!
Accessories: Don’t leave home without ‘em!
ON THE COVER: TIMMY KNUDSEN
ICONIC
photographed by
21 BURN THE ROOF
Gino Baileau
Dress so you won’t come home ‘til dawn.
nordstrom tie. shoes
24 WET AND WILD!
to boot new york
Don’t let a little water dampen your day.
shoes. h&m suit, shirt.
BULLETIN
FEATURES
28 BINGING by Anita Margarita
32 HIS SIDE OF PARADISE
29 HAZING by Stephanie Tsismis
40 THE TEN TENS
29 SEX ED by Lady Chastity
51 WHEN THE DUST HAS CLEARED
30 MUSIC by Zak Stemer
54 GET SOME COLOR
31 MUSINGS by Your Gay Best Friend
56 RETRO ACTIVE
The one item that turns you into a party god. It’s time for students to take action.
How to earn an A+ in bed and in class. The pop princess has been revamped. The thoughts that we think but don’t say. 4 || IMPULSE
Timmy Knudsen might be just what we, and this nation, need. They’re more than just beautiful, they’ve got personality to match. Women veterans fight even when they’re not on the battlefield. Men, take note: Brighten your image and make ladies look twice. The past comes back with a sexy, modern flair and a sultry show of skin.
AMENITIES INCLUDE: GRANITE COUNTER TOPS
STAINLESS STEEL APPLIANCES HOT TUB POOL FITNESS CENTER STUDY LOUNGE SECURE GARAGE 24-HOUR MAINTENANCE
THREE-O-NINE EAST GREEN ST. [P] 217.351.8900
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CHAMPAIGN, ILLINOIS 61820 WWW.ROLAND-REALTY.COM
THE STAFF
Check out who’s on the ItList. No one knows how you get on, but everybody wants to make it. RYAN MORAN COLLEEN WARD KEVIN PINKOS SUPO SANNI GINA JENERO CATHY SWANSON
EDITOR CHRISTIAN GOLLAYAN PUBLISHER ALEKSIA CULAFIC DEPUTY EDITOR ALLISON PIWOWARSKI
CREATIVE DIRECTOR GINO BAILEAU
LIFESTYLES EDITOR
MEDIA DIRECTOR
JESSE GODDARD
ROSE-ANN ARAGON
SENIOR PHOTO EDITOR
SENIOR COPY
RAMZI DREESSEN
CHRISTINA BONGABONG
ELYSSA MCNEIL STEPHANIE CAMBA MEGAN MANGAHAS
EDITORIAL GINA CHININO CANDICE NORWOOD
TAYLOR ELLIS LIZ FAERMARK PATRICK FILBIN AUSTIN PAULIK MARYLIN RODRIGUEZ NATE SCHUELER JORDAN SWARD
JEREMY LEWINSKY
PHOTOGRAPHY NATHAN ADHIKARI
YMIJAN BAFTIJARI JON DAYRIT LINDSEY LAW KAYO OSHIN
ASHLEY DUNN RYAN MCGRATH
STYLING ALEXANDRA BIZIOS
POLLY BLAND
CRISTAL ESPAÑA BART URBANEK
6 || IMPULSE
VIRCELL DAYAP
SPECIAL THANKS ALEXANDER STEMER
KENNETH CROWDER
PUBLISHED BY 46 EAST
JANEL ANGELES
COO KATERINA BIZIOS
BROCK GEBHARDT
CLIFTON RAFFEL
WEB
NEIL THOMAS
LYNA TOME
JESSIE WHITMAN
HUGH SANTO
PAUL KOVAK
JULIA SAMES
CHRISTINE HOPKINS
VIDEO PRODUCTION EUNICE LEE
MEYERS LEONARD
JACK HICKEY
SAIGE HOOKER
JAVON MARCIANO
LOUISE ZHANG
PRESIDENT AND CEO ZAK STEMER
FOR INFORMATION REGARDING ADVERTISEMENTS, PLEASE EMAIL ZAK.STEMER@DMIXMAGAZINE.COM. Those submitting manuscripts, photographs, or other content to 46 East for consideration, please do not send an original copy unless requested by 46 East to do so. The publisher and editors are not responsible for unsolicited material, and it may be edited as seen fit by 46 East.
page 56
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page 32
EDITOR’S letter
The Perils of Looking Back
Ask Gen Y students that grew up north of Route 80 what their favorite novels are, and they’ll probably mention F. Scott Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby. For those who skimmed through it in high school, the novel takes place during the 1920s Jazz Age on the heels of World War I, and everyone was beautiful and glamorous, and everything was bought on credit. Gatsby, the protagonist, is a workingclass guy from Minnesota who weaseled his way into New York’s high society as a bootlegger so he could reunite with his first love, a married woman named Daisy Buchanan. Gatsby ends up shot in the back. It’s quite a tragedy. Yet something about that boy-
meets-girl narrative still resonates with us so deeply. Maybe we love Gatsby because he embodies our hopes and longings and romanticism, that perhaps we can relive our glory days. Or maybe we love the absurdity of the time period, when a generation was sandwiched by two world wars, and the only respites were lavish house parties and booze. Lots of it. We’re all feeling a little nostalgic lately, and it’s not just because of the semester-end blues. Just take a look around us. Shows like Boardwalk Empire, Pan Am and Mad Men fill our television screens. This year’s summer blockbusters include franchise sequels, ‘90s comic book adaptations and a handful of Oscar-bait period films. Fashion runways are filled with A-line skirts, elegant lines and billowing dresses (see our women’s style section) that hark back to the early ‘60s. Politicians still haven’t gotten over their obsession with Ronald Reagan’s presidential reign, saying that it was a simpler era back then, and if more leaders were like him now, the U.S. would be in a better place. We face uncertain times. We’re stuck in this odd rut of post-modern, post9/11, post-whatever era that hasn’t been defined, and the Change that the Obama administration had promised still hasn’t come. We’ve managed to collect more than $1 trillion in student
loans, and if Congress still can’t agree on anything, that number could skyrocket. Unemployment is still high. Across the Atlantic, things aren’t much better. Threats of military violence and civil unrest sprout throughout the Middle East. Developing nations continue to collect nuclear weapons like Birkin bags. It’s easy to yearn for a time when things were easier, when we didn’t have to worry about homework, student loans or our slowing metabolisms, but alas, as David Granger once put it, very little good comes from looking back longingly. Just look at how Gatsby turned out. But we have a lot to look forward to. From music mogul Djordje Gasic to artists like Laura King and Ben Barber, this issue celebrates the students who are forging their own paths during these uncertain times. No one better epitomizes this than our cover story, U of I’s political golden boy, Tim Knudsen. While not everyone will agree with his positions, Knudsen’s searing ambition to push our country forward reflects some of the best qualities of our generation and the potential each one of us has. We hope you enjoy the issue,
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qSLEEK GEEK CHIC More advanced than a watch-calculator and more stylish than an Omega, Sony presents its SmartWatch ($130). With an LED touchscreen, it’s designed to sync with your Android phone, letting you read texts, emails and Twitter updates as well as answer calls and use apps.
pSUSTAINABLE STYLE The new Conscious Collection by H&M brings eco-friendly fabrics to red-carpet looks. The clothes have already become staples to Amanda Seyfried and Michelle Williams, who know that you don’t have to spend a fortune to look like a million bucks.
EDITOR’S PICKS USHER! USHER! USHER!u His new album, Looking for Myself, is sure to be a chart topper as the one-and-only Usher croons out his R&B dance beats. Out June 12.
qNIKE POWER The latest in physical fitness tech, the Nike+Fuelband ($150) measures your calories, steps and what they’ve dubbed Nike Fuel. The band syncs wirelessly with your phone and computer and lets you track, well, pretty much everything.
8 || DMIX
OMG IT’S USHER! AHHHHHHHHHH!
uSHADY LADY Add pops of pastel to your daily outfit with Topshop’s new series of sunglasses ($32). Affordable, sturdy and fashionable, the glasses are the perfect way to add a soft touch of femininity.
USE PASTELS SPARINGLY. NO ONE WANTS TO LOOK LIKE THE EASTER BUNNY’S BIMBO.
DIED: WENT TO ALCOHOLIC HEAVEN. #YOLO.
uFRANZIA JUST GOT OWNED Bagged wine revolutionized the college-budgeted binge drinking scene, but it’s finally time for its evolution. Ladies and Gentlemen, drink in Stacked Wines ($15). Cheap, easy to store and no corkscrews or glasses required. Though, speaking from experience, it is really hard to chug merlot.
“PERSONALITY...” —Daniel Knorps
Dept Section
“I LOVE A GIRL I CAN JUST HANG OUT WITH.” —Barry Trilla
w h at d o yo u f i n d
attractive? - students tell all -
“AN OLD-FASHIONED MAN—POLITE, HAS MANNERS AND IS CHIVALROUS.” —Louise Zhang
“CONFIDENCE.” —Chinedu Nwoko
“A GOOD SMILE AND SOMEONE WHO CAN MAKE ME LAUGH.” —Kat Bors
“A SENSE OF HUMOR... AND ORANGE PANTS.” —Kelly Del Valle
“A GIRL I CAN TAKE HOME TO MY MOTHER.” —Chris Coon TITLE || 9
IGNITE
10 || IMPULSE
}
The SHOW STOPPER
{
story by roe aragon photo by nathan adhikari
Polly Bland The cool thing about Polly Bland is that her name says little about who she is. “Bland” is probably the last word to describe this bubbly, 22-year-old fashionista. The woman, who greets everyone with an unrelenting smile, walked into the interview sporting polka dots and bright turquoise espadrilles. Bland is the self-employed owner, designer and executive manager of her online vintage clothing, artwork and accessories store, “Paulie Antiques.” “Don’t you know?” Bland laughed, “People know me as the ‘suitcase lady.’” No, she wasn’t homeless, nor did she resemble anything like the dreaded “bag lady.” She explained, “I have this obsession with antiques. I collect a ton of antique suitcases in almost every color…I am an antique hoarder.” Her collection features equally colorful fashion pieces, which she plans to sell on her online shop. “My life-long dream is to have my own physical store,” Bland said as her hands eagerly shaped what it would look like. “It’s going to happen, and I have to prepare.” And that is precisely what she is doing. A senior in costume design and technology at U of I, she’s helped stitch and design clothes for more than 20 shows on and off campus—five of which she spearheaded herself. “One of the hardest parts is that I’m one of the only undergrad students in my program,” Bland said. “People expect me to know what they are talking about, and sometimes I just don’t know. The pace is fast, and it’s a high stress, long hours environment.” Putting those hard-earned skills to work, she created her own line called “Candy Land” that was inspired by the childhood board game. Playful pastels and stripes paint the vision of her line, which she showcased at U of I’s College Fashion Week in April. Everything about Bland, you can find at www.pollybland.com. It features DIY tips for your wardrobe, sneak peeks of her latest projects and pictures of her creative brain station (a.k.a. her room). Just like everything else, it’s 100 percent Polly: bold, bubbly, innovative and anything but bland.
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{
The STROKES OF GENIUS
}
Ben Barber Ben Barber stares thoughtfully through a sunny window looking onto the corner of Sixth and Daniel streets trying to articulate the effect that art has had on his life. Barber, now a sophomore pursuing an art education major at UIUC, began drawing when he was very young. His earliest works were still-life drawings of plants and cars. A neurotic desire for precision shaped his style. He would use tape dispensers to make perfect wheels and study motor trend books to memorize the wheelbases of certain cars. A young kid with that kind of accuracy is destined to have a penchant for perfection. Though he experiments with many mediums, Barber primarily likes to work with pen and pencil, a preference that stems from his constant desire for control. “As for the actual process,” he says, “I like to be in charge.” Yet, he knows that the control offered by his medium can only carry his pieces so far. “Having control over something is therapeutic even though when I’m done I give up all of the control that I had over that piece, because it’s not mine anymore,” he says with such assurance that it almost sounds like he has rehearsed it before. Barber’s black and white drawings, etched in pen and pencil, radiate his own unique, unmistakable style. He depicts his subjects with such soft shading that they almost seem to be lost in a fog. Still, these dreamy depictions are grounded with compelling content, exploring themes like sexuality and government. Beyond assignments for his art classes, Barber busies himself with creating commissioned pieces of artwork for friends, family members and other customers. “All that money has bought many Bud Lights,” he spits through his trademarked devilish laugh. story by liz faermark photo by kayo oshin 12 || IMPULSE
Ignite Actress
{
The CLASSIC
}
Laura King With cropped, curly brunette hair and a vintage wardrobe consisting of scarf headbands and colorful patterns, Laura King looks as if she’s stepped out of a 1950s movie. If it were up to her, that’s exactly where she’d be. Following her last production for the Krannert Summer Season, this doe-eyed senior plans on moving to Los Angeles to pursue her dream as an actress in hopes of becoming a movie star. “I always had dreams about being in the movies, but I would always think that I’d never get there. But why not try?” she said. King first realized her love of acting after playing Tinkerbell in Peter Pan in 8th grade. She soon set out to reach her dream and, thankfully, had the complete support of her friends and family. Instead of running off to California immediately, however, King knew she needed to stay in school. “My education has always been really important to me and to my parents,” King said. “I do think it’s important to have a degree and to have rounded learning.” Despite being compared to Zooey Deschanel and Maggie Gyllenhaal, King isn’t in it for the fame — she sees acting as a way for her to make a change. “I act because I think I have a lot to say about the world,” King said. “I want that opportunity to affect a range of people.” Though she occasionally doubts herself, King realizes she isn’t going to be everyone’s cup of tea. King continues to work through her struggles and will keep pushing until she makes a name for herself.
story by taylor ellis photo by gino baileau IMPULSE || 13
{The STAR MAKER} Djordje Gasic From promoting shows for Big Sean, Mike Posner and Wiz Khalifa to currently working with the hottest commodity in the rap world, ASAP Rocky, it’s hard to believe that Djordje Gasic is only 19 years old. Growing up, Gasic was always ahead of the game when it came to finding up-andcoming artists and new music trends. By the age of 15, Gasic was already producing and making his own beats. By the end of high school, Gasic had promoted countless numbers of shows for new artists. As a way of keeping in touch with high school friends and sharing his musical preferences, Gasic created a music blog called Urbana Poppin’ Champaign, a portal to keep students updated on the hottest and newest artists in the music industry. “Now it’s a team of people working and writing seven days a week posting music and editorial articles, and it’s really transformed into a lot more than what I was expecting it to be.” Gasic said. “The most important parts of success is staying humble and staying true to yourself.” Despite all of his success and slew of tempting job offers that most people would have taken in an instant, Gasic is determined to leave with a college degree. “It’s good to have something to fall back on,” Gasic explained. With the music industry constantly changing and independent artists having more power now than ever, Gasic knows that his dream job of becoming a record label A&R, which is a talent scout for record labels, may not always be reasonable. “It’s a changing industry, and it’s cool to change with it. Blogs weren’t as popular as they are now. It’s changing as we’re changing too. Potentially the dream job that I want doesn’t exist today, but it will tomorrow.”
14 || IMPULSE
story by marylin rodriguez photo by ramzi dreessen
Pastel Pleasures Soften your style with creamy yellows, baby blues and dreamy pinks. Follow the lead of Helen Lee and Mercedes Johnson.
THIS PAGE: ON HELEN LEE: URBAN OUTFITTERS HEADWRAP ($16). PAULIE ANTIQUES NECKLACE, EARRINGS AND BRACELT (PRICED ON REQUEST). TOPSHOP JUMPER($64), VEST ($28), JEANS ($80). AMERICAN APPAREL SKIRT ($46). CHARLOTTE RUSSE SHOES ($30).
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THIS PAGE: ON MERCEDES JOHNSON: TOPSHOP BLOUSE ($72), SLEEVELESS SHIRT ($64). ASOS MINI SKIRT ($55), PURSE ($51). AMERICAN EAGLE SUNGLASSES ($10).
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Impress Fashion THIS PAGE: ON MERCEDES: PAULIE ANTIQUES EARRINGS, NECKLACE, GLOVES (PRICED ON REQUEST). URBAN OUTFITTERS WATCH ($29), SHOES ($18). ASOS SOCKS ($15), ALL ELSE PREVIOUSLY LISTED. ON HELEN: CHARLOTTE RUSSE SUNGLASSES ($6). MODEL’S OWN SHOES. ALL ELSE PREVIOUSLY LISTED. CREAM AND FLUTTER MACAROONS. PAULIE ANTIQUES PLATE SET, PERFUME BOTTLE.
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LINEA PELLE PURPLE TRIFOLD WALLET ($170). URBAN EXPRESSIONS ORANGE CLUTCH($57). HADLEY EMERSON YELLOW PURSE ($55). MARKET BRACELETS ($40 EACH).
Accessorize! 18 || IMPULSE
Impress Accessories
REMI AND REID BELT ($60). CHARLES ALBERT CUFF WITH STONE ($138). MARKET GOLD AND BLUE CUFF ($55). IMPULSE || 19
20 || TITLE
BURN THE ROOF Whether it’s a night at the club or a cocktail with friends, Nathan Lubock, Orfeus Shankle and Yigit Tokman drink to good style. Shayan Asadi styling by Michael Stanley photos by
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PREVIOUS PAGE: ON ORFEUS (LEFT): STEVEN ALAN BLAZER ($475), CULTURATA SHIRT ($165), RALEIGH DENIM JEANS ($250) VERT & VOGUE; TANNER BELT ($84) NORDSTROM. ON NATHAN (RIGHT): HUGO V-NECK ($65), AG PROTEGE PANTS ($172), TANNER BELT ($84) NORDSTROM.
THIS PAGE: ON YIGIT: J. CREW CARDIGAN ($108) AND BRACELET ($12.50) J. CREW; CULTURATA SHIRT ($154), STEVE ALAN JEANS ($275) VERT & VOGUE; TANNER BELT ($84) NORDSTROM.
22 || IMPULSE
Iconic Style
IMPULSE || 23
WET AND WILD! This is the season to get hot, go crazy and maybe jump in a pool fully clothed. Olympic hopeful diver Nick McCrory shows you how. Victoria Scott styling by Zak stemer photos by
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Iconic Style PREVIOUS PAGE: DIESEL SHIRT ($50), JOES JEANS ($158) NORDSTROM.
THIS PAGE: 1901 SHIRT ($65) DIESEL JEANS ($180) NORDSTROM. NICK’S OWN LUCKY NECKLACE
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THIS PAGE: BOSS SHIRT ($95). NORDSTROM.
26 || IMPULSE
BULLETIN ANITA MARGARITA ON BINGING ± STEPHANIE TSISMIS ON HAZING ± LADY CHASTITY ON SEX ED ± ZAK STEMER ON MUSIC ± YOUR GAY BEST FRIEND ON MUSINGS
IMPULSE || 27
BULLETIN
I Just Met You. This is Crazy. by
I’ve officially found the greatest invention of the century: the portable breathalyzer. My life changed forever when I bought one. It’s about the size of a Tamagotchi (Whoa, throwback!) and only takes a five second blow into a small clear tube to find out what your Blood Alcohol Content (BAC) is. So with mine in hand, I followed a group of friends* for an evening. This is the story:
Anita Margarita binging
10:00: “Call Me Maybe” has officially played five times. Two more shots have been consumed, and people blow a 0.07. This seems aggressive, and I like it. 10:30: At this point, I’m probably holding god-like status. Everyone loves me for my $40 investment. They ask where to get one, but I pretend to not to hear the question…can’t have the competition. No shame. 10:35: Missed the legal driving limit with a 0.13. I’m bummed. Everyone else is ecstatic that we’ve hit a new milestone. Vodka shots to celebrate! 11:00: The novelty is gone, and my title has gone from “celebrated deity” to “photographer.” “Call Me Maybe” plays again, and everyone is squeezing in one more shot before we go to the bar. 11:15: We roll out of the pregame and head out. I “bother” everyone with one last blow. 0.17. I think back to when the breathalyzer was the “it” thing to have. Those were the days. 11:30: In line, I meet some outof-towners. I tell them about the breathalyzer (god status reinstated). They blow a 0.19 and are impressed with themselves. They insist that I 28 || IMPULSE
1:00: Cha-Cha Slide doesn’t look good. He excuses himself to the bathroom; I make a mental note that he now gets his own mouthpiece next time he blows. The rest of the group take a short intermission and decide not to use Cha-Cha’s absence for shots on his tab. Who are these people? 1:15: It happened. Cha-Cha’s friend just “serenaded” me with an impromptu performance of “Call Me Maybe.”** She blows a 0.20. A decrease is suspicious, so I order a round of shots. 1:30: Carly Rae Jepsen, Cha-Cha and friends are aware that the bar will be closing soon, so they order one more round of vodka cranberries. I’m sensing some competition amongst the group; everyone wants to have the highest BAC. My money is on Cha-Cha. He’s a tank.
9:30 p.m.: The evening commences with a sobriety test. Everyone clocks in at 0.00, so we’re starting off on the right foot. 9:45: I’m excited to test everyone after two shots. The average is 0.03. Due to my rookie status regarding BAC, I’m impressed with this. The only number I really have in mind is 0.08, and that’s only because I am a successful D.A.R.E graduate.
tears welling up in her eyes. I buy them a round of vodka cranberries.
1:35: Cha-Cha blows a 0.24. I’m proud to call him my friend… Science says that at 0.25 BAC you shouldn’t be able to walk by yourself. Challenge: Accepted.
{
“chill” with them. My ex-friends are nowhere in sight, so I accept the invite. 12:00 a.m.: I’m chilling with my new pals, and they all order vodka cranberries. One is dancing by himself, and by “dancing,” I mean he is doing the Cha-Cha Slide. I’m impressed this can be done without the music. 12:30: Onlookers are interested with the breathalyzer and order a round of shots for my crew and me. I have no regrets calling them my crew. They blow a 0.22, but the shots don’t go down well. I think one of them almost started crying, but I pretend like I don’t see the
1:45: Carly Rae might have just dozed off at the barstool. New low for tonight. 1:48: Cha-Cha’s friend thinks he has a higher BAC. He blows a 0.22. In celebration of a higher BAC, Cha-Cha spills the remainder of his drink all over me. I start to think we can’t be friends anymore. 2:00: The night comes to an end, and my crew and I know this is goodbye. We’ll most likely never see each other again. But tomorrow morning, they’ll probably be happy with this. * Everyone who participated was 21 years old. ** “Call Me Maybe” was NOT playing.
CHUG. CHUG. CHUG. New Drinking Games to Try MARIO KART DRINKING GAME The rules are simple: Start the race with a drink, finish it by the end and no drinking and driving. You have to come to a complete stop while you chug.
BASS DROP SHOTS This game is absolutely lethal if done for too long. Turn on dubstep music. Every time the bass drops, take a shot. So easy even a raging alcoholic can do it.
IMPULSE DRINKING GAME Go through this magazine, every time someone you know is mentioned, take a shot. Double if you’ve made out with them. Bombs away.
}
➺
hazing
NEW LINE PLEASE!
The worst ways to pick up a TA.
Power to the People by
Toss your hair, bite your lip and say, “I think we both know we’re not talking about MRSA epidemics in third-world ophanages.”
Stephanie Tsismis
Rolling Stone’s recent exposé of the Greek system at Dartmouth College has unleashed a heated debate about the university’s alleged “culture of silence” surrounding the abuses of fraternity and sorority hazing. The controversy began with an op-ed written by Andrew Lohse, a former Dartmouth frat star, who brazenly decided to publicly detail all of the gut-wrenching rituals he endured as an SAE pledge. Suggestions for an appropriate response to the hazing allegations have ranged from the extreme to the absurd: allow only co-ed Greek organizations on campus, abolish the Greek system altogether, let hazing happen because it builds camaraderie. While I understand the call for administrative action, I don’t see why no one has looked to find the answer to Dartmouth’s hazing problems among the students themselves. Critics have largely blamed the supposed atrocities brought forth by Lohse and the RS article on intangibles like “culture” and “tradition,” as if fraternity brothers were indefensible against the power of such forces. Administrators, alumni, and
faculty should trust Dartmouth students—known to be among the best and brightest young minds in the country—to take action against what they see as the flaws of their school’s character. Thinking that banning fraternities and sororities will rid Dartmouth of its problems is naïve. There is nothing inherently evil about Greek organizations that breeds an unhealthy social scene. With or without Greek letters, Dartmouth students will continue to endorse Animal House-style debauchery if that’s what they want. To take any sort of meaningful steps towards improvement, students need to honestly evaluate the lifestyle they are promoting and if they decide it’s something they want to change. Only they have the power to do so. The problem is not unique to Dartmouth. It’s happening here on campus where Greek life is such a crucial part of the social scene. Usually it’s below the radar, but occasionally stories seep to the surface. While everyone has the right to make their own decisions about the validity of rough pledge tasks, it’s a decision that must be made. Whatever we decide, we have to live with.
Ask her to review your résumé after you added “My tongue is doublejointed” to your Special Skills section.
Remotely trigger a small chemical fire so you can rush to her aid.
T&A by
sex ed
Lady Chastity
If you’re anything like me, obsessing over older boys has always been a guilty pleasure. The first weekend of college, I shacked with an older frat star. After a few months, I became sick of the immature bullshit— the blacked out drunkenness, the filthy frat houses and the dumb way that they talk. Did I really want someone who constantly talks about how “hard they go” or how “yoked” they got at the gym? Pass. Then, a friend recently came home with one of the best hook up stories I’ve ever heard, and it dawned on me—a TA needed to be my next conquest. A TA is the perfect person for a fling. They’ve got plenty of experience, their own place and, hey, who wouldn’t mind exchanging sexual favors for a few bonus points on an exam? I solicited the help of the friend with the scandalous and impressive experience. Not only did she hook up with her TA, but she did the deed in a university building. Fittingly, the main topic of the class that the TA assisted with was sex. Coincidence? I think not. Here’s the advice she gave to get hot and heavy with the grad students who grade our papers: KNOW THE SIGNS There would be nothing more embarrassing than thinking you had a chance of banging your TA and ending up with a sexual harassment charge. So if you can’t tell if they’re actually into you, don’t go for it. On the other hand, if your TA is blatantly eye-fucking you during discussion, you’re in. To stay on the safe side, waiting until the end of the semester is a smart idea. But if you really can’t wait any longer, what your classmates don’t know won’t kill them. SECRECY IS KEY
Tell your paleontology TA that you “Want to bone like a caveman.”
If you do begin an affair mid-semester, it’s pretty important to keep it hush, hush. Sexual relations between students and faculty are considered unacceptable by the University. Yes, even if it was just once. Plus, sneaking around definitely adds more fuel to the fire.
Ask your chemistry TA if this rag smells like chloroform to her. No? Smell again. Deeper. Perfect.
ASK FOR EXTRA HELP My mom always told me to make the best of every situation. Okay, I suppose that’s definitely not what she meant, but you should still take advantage of the opportunity. And if you’re talented enough, there’s nothing better than multitasking... IMPULSE || 29
BULLETIN
POP FRANKENSTEIN MUSIC MIGHT HAVE HIT A CREATIVE LOWPOINT IN HUMAN HISTORY (I’M LOOKING AT YOU, NICKI MINAJ) , BUT WHAT IF YOU COULD HARNESS THE BEST ASPECTS OF ALL THE BIGGEST STARS? LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MEET THE FUTURE (BUT YOU CAN CALL HER FRAN). EYES Adele Her oversized baby blues let us see straight to her soul and make us weep uncontrollably. If we ever find the guy who dumped Adele, we should send him a gift basket or something.
CURVES Katy Perry Usually dressed as a Hershey Kiss or spraying whipped cream, Ms. Perry’s chest is what the world would be like if the Swiss Army made boobs.
LEGS (AND DANCE MOVES) Beyoncé Beyoncé is the queen bee of shaking the ample amount of flesh her mother gave her. Plus, no woman has inspired more men to wear tiny lycra onesies and YouTube videos of themselves dancing in heels. And after Cher, that’s saying something.
TECHNOLOGY Hologram Tupac Oh, did we forget to mention that our girl Fran died in a tragic shooting at a Panera in Ohio? The Fran of the future is a computergenerated hologram designed to freak you the fuck out.
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music THE LOOK Rihanna Sexy, strange (but not Lady Gaga strange) and irresistible, Rihanna is the chassis for our ideal girl. We could probably live without the weird songs about suicide though. VOICE, (ASSUMED) SEXUAL PROMISCUITY Christina Aguilera circa 2002 She’s got one of the world’s greatest voices, and 10 years ago redefined “Dirty.” No matter how bitchy she acts on The Voice now, she will always be our genie in a bottle, and we’d rub her the right way. ABS Britney Spears circa 2001 In 2001 Britney gyrated while singing “I’m a slave for you,” with a snake. Now, we understand that slavery was a terrible system, but this once we would make an exception...
musings
A Gay in the Life:
The things that we think but never say. 9:00 a.m.: I am not a slut. I am not a slut. I am not a slut. But seriously, who is this guy next to me? I think he’s a freshman. What happened last night? I’ll call him a cab and wait for it with him because I’m a gentleman… and not a slut. Oh, he has a chipped tooth. That’s kind of endearing, I guess. I should compliment him on it.
to tell him, “Talk like me! Just try!” 7:45: Dates are awkward. What do we talk about? He likes politics, I like watching mind-numbing television. He likes Dave Matthews Band, I like things that aren’t totally douchey. I’m not being nitpicky, but he was wearing brown pants with a green shirt. He looked like a tree, and while I’m a fan of wood, I don’t like my men dressed as timber.
9:02: …He didn’t know that his tooth was chipped. This is awkward. Sorry ‘bout your tooth, brah, have a nice day, bye.
8:15: End of the quickest date ever. I think I sealed my own fate when he asked who I was going to vote for and I told him that I don’t really follow American Idol anymore. I’m more of a Voice person. Love me some Adam Levine.
9:05: Fuck. I think I’m a slut. Why is it that when you black out nothing good ever happens? I never wake up next to my exercise equipment or finished homework. Instead, I wake up next to empty fast food bags or, like last week, a full pizza…that I then ate in bed like an animal. 10:00: I am starving. No, I can’t eat. It’s almost summer, and I’m fat. Not like straight people fat, but I’m gay fat. Gay pounds are like kilograms to the straight people’s pound. My current diet consists of gummi bears and vodka. Vodka is really low in calories, plus alcohol leaches calcium from your bones meaning that I’m also losing bone weight. Score! 10:30: I have to go the library for a group project. I could say I’m sick. If only shame and regret were diseases, I’d be on chronic leave. I look a little worse for wear. This is what I imagine celebrities look like when they check into rehab. 11:30: Our group project is to design an exhibit documenting human rights. The group consists of one girl, Lauren, who might be pretty in some cultures (but not this one); a guy, Adrian, who is ungodly hot; and Matt, who is also gay and kind of cute but whose teeth are totally fucked up. He’s talking about his dating life again. As a friend, I don’t want to overstep my bounds, but I feel like I need to tell him that every choice he makes about everything is monumentally wrong. 11:45: Adrian just described something as “money” when it was not, in fact, money. He’s hot, but he talks like Howie Mandel. That’s a deal breaker, ladies. 1:00: We are still working on this god-forsaken project. Why is Lauren giving me a stank face? Or is that just the way her face is and I didn’t notice? She looks like she smelled a bad fart. Or maybe she has to fart. That would be hilarious. 2:00: Finally get back home to take a nap. My roommate is a slovenly, overweight Filipino with a penchant for walking around in his boxers and making chili that smells like hot beef and ass. Love the guy. 6:00: Nap apparently equals four-hour coma. 7:30: Dinner date with super hot Australian guy named Winston. Pluses: Hot, intelligent, taking me to a fancy restaurant. Minuses: Can’t understand a damn word he says. The accent was cute for like a minute. Now I just want
8:25: He dropped me off and told me we’re better as friends. 8:30: He curb-stomped my heart. Open freezer, pull out vodka and destroy myself. 8:50: Do I have a drinking problem? It seems like in movies, only alcoholics take shots by themselves. Let me call my neighbor. If she takes shots with me then I don’t have a drinking problem. I hope she’s not in one of her court-mandated AA meetings tonight. 8:55: She’s home! And she wants to do something called Liquid Cocaine shots. Now, I don’t use drugs. Not that I really have anything against them, I just don’t think I can handle another addiction in my life right now. Between alcohol and ironically playing Paperboy on Super Nintendo, my days are pretty full. Oh, they don’t have any cocaine in them. Apparently, they are just Jaegermiester, Goldschlager, and Bacardi 151 in a shot glass. I love making good life choices. 9:30: Currently four shots deep. Fuck Winstom. He’s dumb. Blahhhh. 9:45: When I get drunk I slur. Like racial slurs. It’s awkward and can totally ruin a picnic. Last time I was black out, I told an African man that he was “Really, really black.” 10:30: Where the party at? 11:00: Call cab. More shots before we go hell yeah! My grandma is a racist! Just sayin’. 11:20: Real talk: I love touching boobs. I don’t know why either! But they’re awesome! ---No Memory--2:30: Yeah, Jimmy Johns? Hi! You sound hot! Wanna come over? And bring me sandwiches. ---No Memory--10:00 a.m.: I am not a slut. I am not a slut. IMPULSE || 31
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HIS SIDE OF
PARADISE TIMMY KNUDSEN (NO, THE ‘K’ ISN’T SILENT) IS A POLITICAL DYNAMO IN THE MAKING. BRILLIANT, OUTGOING AND, WITH A STATUESQUE JAWLINE AND MEGAWATT SMILE, HE’S THE GUY YOU WANT ON CAPITOL HILL (OR MAYBE AT 1600 PENN). STORY BY CHRISTIAN GOLLAYAN PHOTOS BY GINO BAILEAU
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I "I believe that no matter how big and crazy a dream or goal is, a dreamer is better than someone who settles." 34 || IMPULSE
nside the Illini Union, 30 people are seated in a second-floor room. Most are students, all are baking from lack of air conditioning on this warm night while the constant thuds of construction work from the outside hallway pound through the walls. Some attendees loosen their shirt collars and glance at their watches. They are here for the Institute of Government and Public Affairs’ Young Alumni Series, where UI graduates return to share their professional experiences in politics. This is the institute’s last young alumni event for the semester, and tonight’s speaker has worked as an aide for various Illinois politicians. He’s a soft-spoken man that occasionally fumbles his words and pauses between thoughts which, from the room’s back row, get drowned out from the hallway noise. In the front corner of the room sitting in a jet black suit, occasionally glancing at the speaker and then the audience, and under the soft glow of the amber lamp and haze from the damp evening heat, Tim Knudsen is the spitting image of an F. Scott Fitzgerald character. He is inoffensively handsome, with squarejawed, blonde-haired, blue-eyed features that could be framed and hung as a portrait in an Ivy League university, or printed on currency. When the speaker is done answering questions, Knudsen walks to the front of the room and thanks everyone for attending. He stands with his shoulders rolled back and speaks with assertive politeness. Knudsen is the institute’s Charles P. Wolff Intern, a prestigious year-long apprenticeship that introduces one UI student to a career in public service. He essentially serves as a liaison between the institute and the student body. Some of Knudsen’s responsibilities include public policy research, helping with the Illinois State Summit on Pension Reform and hosting tonight’s Alumni series event. Past interns have worked in the State Department, White House and for the Obama campaign. Tonight, as he addresses the audience with his perfect posture and horseshoe smile, Knudsen also looks poised for a career in politics. A left-moderate democrat, Knudsen wants to hold a political office by the time he is 30. A James Scholar, an Illinois General Assembly Scholar and a member of Phi Eta Sigma Honor Society, Timmy (as his friends call him) was also the social chair of his fraternity, Delta Tau Delta. The UI senior, born in 1990, is a political science major with a minor in business and Spanish, and a member of the UI business council. He spent a semester in Rome, where he wants to return someday. He is naturally bright, sharp and friendly, and he’s been like that throughout tonight’s event. But up close, his face is a hot shade of red, maybe from the heat or maybe he’s nervous. He hesitates a little when he speaks and his hands whirl around one another like a windmill. His suit is slightly loose on his five-foot-seven frame, the cuffs of his
jacket inching over his shirt sleeves. These are the little markers that reel him back to college student status versus political rock star. But Knudsen is quickly approaching the latter. He’s worked on campaigns since his freshman year when he was the media intern for Raja Krishnamoorthi’s run for Illinois State Comptroller. During his sophomore year, Knudsen was a finance intern for Alexi Giannoulias’ Senate campaign. He did everything from secretarial, data-entry labor to selling multi thousand-dollar tickets for dinner fundraising events and eventually found himself one of few in a room with the President, Senior Advisor Valerie Jarrett and then-Chief-of Staff Rahm Emanuel. Knudsen struck up a conversation with the President before he was on to speak. They talked about the UI and how it’s a great school. Knudsen was starstruck despite Obama’s closed-door candidness. Knudsen was a 20-year-old kid unsure about his future when he was in that room with Obama. Ever since, he knew he wanted a career in politics. And now he won’t have it any other way.
T
hree-thirty in the afternoon, it’s cool and depressing, and, outside Knudsen’s window, the sky is cast in a permanent gray. We are waiting for a stylist to dress him for his IMPULSE cover shoot. He apologizes for his natural style and jokes that he has the sartorial tastes of a dressed-up dad. His closet is full of sweater vests, button-ups, trousers and a hanger’s worth of bright silk ties, mostly from Banana Republic and J.Crew. His favorite pieces are the ones he bought during his semester abroad: the asymmetricallypatterned polo he got in Rome, the burnished leather messenger bag that he bought in an open-air market in Florence, one of his favorite cities. His room at his childhood home in Wheaton, Illinois is cluttered with photos of his parents, older sister and close friends. Known for having the most churches per capita in the country, Wheaton is a mostly homogonous town of white, Christian, conservative, tightknit families; the kind of town where neighbors keep their doors unlocked after sunset. An innocent place. His father is partner in an electronic cigarette company. His parents both went to Wheaton North High School and have stayed in Wheaton ever since. Even though Knudsen’s father votes Republican, Tim persuaded his mother to put an Alexi Giannoulias sign during the 2010 Senate campaign, the only one on their block. It was a typical suburban childhood. Gradeschool summers were spent at Christian camps, he played competitive tennis until high school, he was an A student and was part of the high school homecoming court. The type to strike up conversation with anyone, Knudsen knew
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Square-jawed, blonde-haired, and blue-eyed, he could be framed and hung as a portrait in an Ivy League university, or printed on currency.
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almost everyone in his high school class of about 550. There is something about Knudsen that makes him effortlessly approachable. He can be slightly self-deprecating and gets uncomfortable if he talks about himself too much. Because of all his accomplishments, most of the people he meets want to know about his experiences, but when a conversation centers around him, he flips it around. He will ask why you went to U of I, what your goals are and dreams and what you’ve done to accomplish them. He tries to connect with everyone on a certain level. He once befriended a homeless man and wrote about it in his past column, “Tuesday’s With Timmy,” in the Daily Illini. On Knudsen’s wall and table are notecards scribbled with Bible verses. His whole family is Christian and his mother’s side is Catholic. “I wouldn’t consider myself ‘religious’ by definition,” he says. “I do value a strong faith. I look into religion a lot and believe if I were born in Afghanistan, I would be a devout Muslim. I happened to be born in Wheaton, so I was bound to be a devout Christian and have grown up to be.” This February, Knudsen was awarded the opportunity to usher for the annual National Prayer Breakfast—an international event where world leaders come together to talk about religion—in Washington, D.C. “When people hear ‘National Prayer Breakfast,’ they think ‘Christian fundamentalists,’” Knudsen said. “The conference was about was looking into these other religions and not only learning about them, but appreciating them. It’s based on these sort of values, these human values, that can be used in political cooperation.”
T
here is a certain restlessness in Knudsen when you talk to him in person. He’s constantly on the move. He will greet you with a resounding hey!, pat your shoulder or give you a half or full hug (depending on how well he knows you), then sit down with his forearms pressed against the table, ready for any questions. Words like “vetted” and "supplement” are staples in his everyday language. Ask him what he thinks of Mitt Romney’s presidential campaign and the syllables multiply. Ask him about current events, and he can seamlessly articulate his thoughts on Obama’s Israeli foreign policy, Illinois’ declining unemployment rate, Clinton’s party pictures in Colombia, and George Clooney’s cosmetic surgeries. Knudsen is constantly tapping his foot. Sometimes, he’ll tap his fingers against the table to make typing sounds. When emphasizing a thought, he clasps his hands together like a prayer. He’s been drinking coffee lately. For the past couple of days, he’s been busy sorting through applications for the 38 || IMPULSE
institute’s next Wolff intern, and he wants to choose the perfect candidate. The institute has given him so many professional opportunities, and he wants to give back as much as he can. Knudsen says his Wolff internship has been his biggest accomplishment in college. “Not many people know what the Institute of Government and Public Affairs is on campus, yet there is a former governor on our staff. There are also a former legislators and some of the state’s best economic scholars,” Knudsen says. “This internship has allowed me to build so many relationships with student leaders, Illinois faculty and people in the political world.” Last summer, Knudsen was responsible for drafting a 70-page research report for IGPA’s Paul H. Douglas Award for Ethics in Government, an award that’s annually given to an elected official who has made a lasting impact on U.S. politics. In the next month, the IGPA will send Knudsen to Washington, D.C. to be part of the awards ceremony for one of his political idols, George Mitchell. Senator Dick Durbin and UI President Robert Easter will present the award. “It’ll be an amazing ending to what has been the most amazing undergrad experience,” Knudsen says.
K
nudsen’s favorite novel is F. Scott Fitzgerald’s “This Side of Paradise.” Set in the 1910s, the story follows Armory Blaine, a Midwest, upper-middle-class man who attends Princeton University and falls in love with a debutante who jilts him in the end for a wealthier man. Like every Fitzgerald novel, it explores the glamour and greed of the Jazz age, before an entire generation was flattened by the Great Depression. Knudsen read the novel three times his sophomore year. Several parts are highlighted on his Kindle. Fitzgerald’s complex, conflicted men constantly try to do good, despite their oftentimes doomed circumstances. To Knudsen, it’s a compliment to be compared to one of Fitzgerald’s star-crossed characters. “I think it’s a good thing in humanity to always try to be a good person,” Kundsen says. “That’s what I hope to bring to my career and to my life. No one person has the answers, so it’s good to attempt to understand everyone, and you do that through treating everyone as you’d want to be treated, which I do try to do; obviously I’m not perfect at it." Toward the end of the novel—Knudsen’s favorite part—Fitzgerald writes about how young people give up their progressive ideas of social and political reform, becoming jaded by the world around them. “Some politicians compromise themselves to advance their political standing and a lot of people see that and think that’s all politics is,
"It's my dream to be the person who's representing the people during this time of progress." that you can’t stay true to yourself. But, I really feel like I can. I love the way our country is going. I think in the next 20 years, there’s going to be a lot of changes. I think our economy is going to come back. We’re going to get used to a healthcare plan that provides for a lot more people, we’re going to see advancements in education, and we’re going to get to a point of equal rights for all Americans on marriage and equal pay for women. These are some of the issues I’m passionate about, and it’s my dream to be the person who’s representing the people during this time of progress.” He speaks with a tonal clarity, a certain assurance and eagerness and optimism that anyone could get behind, and you believe he really could follow through with his searing ambitions. Right now, Knudsen is deciding between law schools. He doesn’t see himself as an attorney, but he thinks a legal education is a powerful tool for legislating. During the summer, he will travel to Palestine to do peacekeeping, NGO volunteer work. His parents worry that he’s stretching himself too thin, that he’s too busy, but Knudsen is at the summit of his youth, feet planted, wide-eyed and looking out into the horizon of boundless opportunities. “I want to go into politics and I have recognized that I need to be very well-rounded for such a career, and somewhat of a dreamer,” he once wrote in a blog entry titled The Brand of Timmy Knudsen for his marketing course. “I believe no matter how big and crazy a dream or goal is, a dreamer is better off than someone who settles… It’s good to feel limitless.”
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40 || TITLE
Dept Section
The most gorgeous students on campus prove that true beauty is more than skin deep. photos by ramzi dreessen
Alexia Theodorakis senior
∙ communication major ∙ kappa
Plans after graduation? Working for Conmed Endosurgery. If you can have a dinner date with one person, dead or alive, who would it be? My grandpa. Who is your celebrity crush? Ryan Gosling. If you knew you could get away with it, what crime would you commit? I'd rob a bank. You're stuck on a desert island, what three movies do you bring? I’m a huge sucker for stupid funny movies, so probably Zoolander, Not Another Teen Movie, and White Oleander. Guilty pleasure? Greek food and ice cream. What's one thing you need to do before you die? Travel to Southeast Asia. Most embarrassing moment with a guy? My boyfriend had this elaborate plan to ask me to prom before one of his volleyball games, and I came a half-hour late. I was sitting with his family and they were so upset with me. Biggest turn-on? Sense of humor. Biggest turn-off? Someone who gets upset easily. What’s the worst gift a guy has ever given you? No gift is a bad gift. It’s always a nice gesture even if it doesn’t hit it out of the park. What does a guy have to do to get your attention? I don’t like people who are really shy about things. Put in the effort and come talk to me. What’s your perfect first date? I’m a huge going out to dinner person and a huge movie fanatic. It’s a typical dinner and a movie, but that’s all you need to do to make me happy.
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ben mcclellan senior
∙ food industry and business major ∙ acacia
Plans after graduation? Working for AT&T doing business-to-business sales for corporate in Atlanta, GA. What do you look for in a girl? Confidence, sarcasm and long hair. What is your favorite feature? You tell me... Complete the sentence, "I feel hottest when...": I just finished a lacrosse game. What is the worst pick-up line you've used? "What's your major?" It's bad, but I still use it. What's one thing you need to do before you die? Skydive or bungee jump.
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Dept Section
emily cleary senior
∙ news-editorial journalism ∙ delta delta delta
Who is your celebrity crush? Where to start? Ryan Gosling, Zac Efron, Paul Walker, and my main man: JB (even though he's a little young). Most embarrassing thing on your iPod? Is it sad that I can rap Aaron Carter's "Aaron's Party"? You're stuck on a desert island, what three things do you bring? Computer, cell phone and a friend. Guilty pleasure? Anything chocolate. What's one thing you need to do before you die? An extended travel throughout Europe. What's the worst pick-up line a guy has used on you? You have something on your shirt. Biggest turn-on? A guy who doesn't take himself too seriously. Biggest turn-off? When a guy thinks he's God's gift to Earth and is an asshole. What’s the biggest compliment you've ever gotten from a guy? That I changed his life in a positive way. What does a guy have to do to get your attention? He has to have a big heart and help people simply to help and has no alternative motives. One piece of advice to men? Nice guys win in the end.
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meg graham senior
∙ news-editorial journalism major ∙ kappa alpha theta
Plans after graduation? Spending the summer in Turkey working on a reporting project. If you can have a dinner date with one person, dead or alive, who would it be? Bob Dylan. Who is your celebrity crush? Bill Clinton. You're stuck on a desert island, what three movies do you bring? The Goonies, The Darjeeling Limited, and The Royal Tenenbaums. Guilty pleasure? Flaming hot Cheetos. Biggest turn-on? Being really passionate about something Biggest turn-off? When guys don't like politics. What’s the worst gift a guy has ever given you? For my birthday, a guy gave me a card that he made with markers. It was the thought that counts, but it was a weird thought. What’s your perfect first date? I had a really good first date in Europe with this Australian guy. We went on a hike in the mountains. I would take the word "hike" very lightly; we ended up just drinking wine. It was a lot of fun.
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thomas mcmillin senior
Dept Section
∙ accounting major ∙ beta theta pi
Plans after graduation? I'll be working as an external auditor at Deloitte & Touche. What do you look for in a girl? I like a girl who's athletic. What is your favorite feature? Smile. Complete the sentence, "I feel hottest when...": Katerina Bizios puts makeup on me before a photo shoot. What is the worst pick-up line you've used? I have many leather-bound books, and my apartment smells of rich mahogany. What's one thing you need to do before you die? Go on Saturday Night Live.
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josh smith senior
∙ business administration and marketing major ∙ pi kappa alpha
Plans after graduation? Modeling with Ford Models, and I'm also interested in real estate. What do you look for in a girl? Confidence. It seperates the girls from the women. What is your favorite feature? My smile. Complete the sentence, "I feel hottest when...": I'm not in Illinois. What is the worst pick-up line you've used? I see you've talked to a lot of ugly guys tonight, now you should talk to me. What's one thing you need to do before you die? Swim with sharks.
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Dept Section
johanna drucker senior
∙ speech pathology major ∙ delta gamma
Plans after graduation? Graduate school at the University of Wisconsin at Madison. What do you look for in a guy? Height and a sense of humor. What's your favorite feature? My eyes. Complete the sentence, "I feel hottest when...": I'm at an IMPULSE photo shoot. What's one thing you need to do before you die? Travel to Africa.
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dustin elmer senior
∙ technical systems management major ∙ alpha gamma rho
What do you look for in a girl? Confidence and flirtiness. What is your favorite feature? In a girl? Face first, then down from there. Complete the sentence, "I feel hottest when...": Her clothes are lying on the floor. What is the worst pick-up line you've used? Oh you're in Agger, do you like country music? What's one thing you need to do before you die? I've always wanted to be in IMPULSE.
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Dept Section
anna whitek senior
∙ communications major ∙ gamma phi beta
Plans after graduation? Law school. What do you look for in a guy? A good pair of shoes. What is your favorite feature? My butt. Complete the sentence, "I feel hottest when...": The panties match the bra. What's the worst pick-up line a guy has used on you? Some guy slipped his business card to me while I was serving him and his date. His date totally knew. What's one thing you need to do before you die? Travel Europe to the countries I've never been to. TITLE || 49
alex dardi senior
∙ accounting major ∙ delta tau delta
Plans after graduation? I'll be taking the CPA this summer and start working in the audit department at Deloitte in the fall. What do you look for in a girl? Someone who is outgoing, attractive and can understand my terrible jokes. What is your favorite feature? My blue eyes. Complete the sentence, "I feel hottest when...": I'm in a sauna. What is the worst pick-up line you've used? "Hey, vodka on the rocks! Want to get nipple to nipple?" What's one thing you need to do before you die? Fly to outer space.
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There are about 70 female veterans walking around campus as students. At a glance you wouldn’t recognize the service they’ve paid or the battles they’ve faced. Jordan Sward investigates.
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P Posters and television commercials paint a picture of women in the military: hair pulled back in a slick bun, barefaced and dressed head to toe in uniform. There are over 350 veterans on the UI campus, 20 percent of which are female. They’re camoflauged, blending in on campus. Their painted nails, curls and makeup a far cry from the army posters. But there’s just one glaring difference: Their experience serving our country is something other students can’t come close to relating to. While speaking with these women, they never complained about their service. Rather, it was what came after that was the struggle. They’ve formed close ties with each other, and there’s one thing they all agree on: Adjusting to campus life wasn’t always easy. Veterans, like most students, found themselves in a sea of frat partiers, pajama wearers and never-done-laundry-in-their-live‑ers. Ryan DeGooyer attended ISU after high school, and after realizing her classes weren’t going smoothly, she dropped out and joined the Air Force in 2000. “It seemed like a good idea before 9/11,” she says, half jokingly. She served in the Air Force as a Spanish linguist from 2000 to 2006, then decided to get her political science degree at U of I. Although most of her friends are now students in her master’s program, her undergrad experience was lonely. DeGooyer felt she had no place at U of I. In the military, “you’re surrounded by amazing people who are going through the same experiences,” she explained. “Here, they didn’t understand me. I didn’t understand them.” Liz Ambros also didn’t understand a few things in the beginning. As a pre-med kinesiology student who served in the Navy, she says with acerbic humor that one of the first things she had to get used to 52 || IMPULSE
was the lackadaisical, unstructured nature of the students: from the ones with pink hair to those roaming campus in pajamas. Standing in the middle of the U of I quad, Ambros points to various buildings and explains that campus doesn’t differ too much from the base where she was stationed. “I feel like I’m still on base. There are still rules you have to follow. There’s still responsibility,” she says—just not rules against pink hair and pajamas. Not the biggest fan of students who lack discipline, Lauran Tyler agrees that the most difficult part of transitioning to a university is immature, fresh-out-of-high school peers. Although she accepts everyone—a lesson she attributes to her mom—Tyler prefers to keep her social group mostly veterans; they just understand her better. Despite the immaturity, this transition to campus life goes far beyond adjusting to casually dressed students who text and tweet during class. While enlisted, the process of “becoming military” requires females to assume masculine behaviors in order to effectively adapt to the patriarchal structure that is inherent in military culture. Geri Young, who is pursuing a master’s in social work with a concentration in female veteran issues, explains it can be difficult for women to transition to civilian society where they are expected to fulfill specific societal and gender roles. Gricelda Watts served in the army as an analyst after realizing her first go at college wasn’t working out, and is now enrolled in the part-time MBA program. When she reveals her veteran status, a typical response usually includes “Really?! You went to Iraq?” She believes the surprise comes from her appearance and gender. “It’s the way I dress, the way I carry myself. I’m a real girly girl,” she said. “After the initial reaction, most people utter a simple ‘thank you.’ It’s usually pretty positive.” A surprising number of veterans don’t acknowledge their military service, Young says. She also added that on our campus a disproportionately low number of female veterans participate in established, veteranspecific programs. DeGooyer has been out of the military for six years, and no longer tells most people she’s a veteran. “The military defines you,” she admits, “But as more time goes on it becomes less of a defining aspect of who you are.” Unlike DeGooyer, Ambros ,in search of well-deserved respect, says she often feels the need to boast about her accomplishments when asked about her military career. Simply stating she served in the military does not give light to the sum of her contributions. Through multiple deployments, her job as a Fleet Marine Force Corpsman required her to do clerical work as well as treat patients. As far as respect from her male counterparts goes, Ambros sums it up as: If you’re a female in the military, “you’re either
a whore or a bitch.” Or so it seems, based on the stereotypes. It’s “the hardest stereotype to try to not fall into.” Every grain of respect was hard earned and, when it’s time to relocate, the women to prove themselves again by working hard and exceeding expectations. “Because there are so few female Marines, every indiscretion made by a female Marine seemed to be magnified and affected the [perception] of female Marines as a whole,” Tyler said of military members’ tendencies to hold women to higher standards than men. Some Marines even twist the common promotional phrase “The few, the proud, the Marines,” to: “Female Marines: The fewer. The prouder.” Watts faced similar challenges in leadership roles where she oversaw a number of men; she had to prove herself to people who didn’t respect her authority. Ambros, despite the nail polish and pink shirt, assures us that if she needed to reach a heavy box, she wouldn’t dare run to a guy for help. She’d “drag a chair and get that heavy box” herself. DeGooyer says she didn’t experience negative treatment because of her gender while enlisted. She was in a field with a large number of women—it’s encouraged for females to serve as linguists. During her enlistment following 9/11 military members could receive a standing ovation while pumping gas, such was the enthusiasm our nation had for its soldiers. Male or female, the main reaction DeGooyer recalls was patriotism. After being discharged from military service, many female veterans face skepticism about the significance of their contributions, says Young. This is due in part to the Combat Exclusion Policy, a federal statute preventing women from occupying combat roles. But the reality is that today’s wars lack a definitive frontline and more and more women are taking roles that put them in contact with enemy forces. Just like men, women are going “outside the wire,” and into the heart of combat. Society, however, isn’t ready to accept it. Beside overcoming the hurdles of being judged by her gender, Tyler experienced a very unique situation while serving: She gave birth to her first daughter, Nadia, while stationed in Okinawa, Japan, and her second daughter, Evalice, while stationed in Kansas City. Through dirty diapers and adjusting to motherhood, the most difficult challenge was the absence of her family. And if men already have trouble understanding women, adding the military and pregnancy to the equation doesn’t make things easier. Few non-commissioned officers have commanded females, let alone pregnant females. Despite all the odds they have faced, these women set the bar, gaining the respect they deserve from campus. They are part of Illini Veterans, a registered student organization founded in 2009, that helps veterans find their place on campus.
“We have to see
things from a young age that hopefully nobody else will ever have to see. There’s a seriousness...a depth for a veteran that’s especially uncommon at U of I.” “It’s really the veterans group that has held me together here,” says Watts (whose husband is also part of the group). Similar to pledging a sorority, veterans feel immediately connected to their military peers. The bond created by the military is one as strong as a family’s and is hard for outsiders to fully comprehend. “It’s very confusing when you get out of the military,” DeGooyer explains. “You’re used to people telling you what to do. When you get out and nobody’s telling you ‘go here or do this,’ having [the organization] as a resource is so helpful.” As for support from the University, the veterans agree that resources aren’t perfect, but the administration has been trying. The GI Bill helps with costs and the state-funded Illinois Veterans Grant provides benefits to veterans attending public Illinois colleges and universities. On campus, however, there have been cases of lost paperwork, and for veterans who don’t have help from resources, like their parents, late payments could be disastrous. “The university fails in communicating with veterans and really recognizing that there should be some efficiency in our handling,” DeGooyer says. Overall, serving in the military has taught these women responsibility, time management and accountability. Whether right or wrong, veterans have learned that you often have to explain your actions to someone. “We have seen things from a young age that hopefully nobody else will ever have to see,” DeGooyer says. “There’s a seriousness — even though we like to have fun and can be crazy, there’s a depth for a veteran that’s especially uncommon at the U of I.” She adds, “Students just don’t get it, it’s not their fault. And I hope they never do get it.” IMPULSE || 53
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