Manpuccino, issue 1 of 3

To An, to us.

“I KNOW HOW TO SOLVE IT, THE POST-COLLEGE UNEMPLOYMENT CRISIS.” “HOW?”

“IF WE JUST VACATE HALF OF THOSE SEATS AND PLACE A BUNCH OF NEWLY-GRADUATED, ENTREPRENEURIALLY-MINDED SHINING INDIVIDUALS THERE, THE WORLD WOULD BE A BETTER PLACE.” SHIT, MAN, BRAX FOR PRESIDENT!.

SHEEPISHLY COMPLACENT.

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SEE, THOSE OLD CRANKS SITTING IN BIG CHAIRS? CEOS, POLITICIANS, ALL KINDS OF LEADERS.

I’M SERIOUS. ALL OF THAT MIND-EXPANDING COLLEGE EXPERIENCE IS WASTED IF YOU FEED THEM THROUGH A 9-TO-5 GRINDER. THEY GROW COMPLACENT.

AND THINK ABOUT IT, WITH THE YOUNG AND IDEALISTIC AT THE HELM, OUR FUTURE IS TAILORED FOR THIS GENERATION. NOT FOR SOME OLD RICH GUY’S JOB SECURITY WHO IS ONE FOOT IN THE GRAVE. I’D REIN STARBUCKS THE FUCK IN, MAN. KUDOS. AND HOW ABOUT CORTADO AS STATE BEVERAGE?

A FEDERAL COFFEE CUPPING AGENCY.

EXACTLY! SEE? ALL ON THE SAME PAGE. NO MORE GOVERNMENT BIPARTISANSHIP. NO MORE FAST FOOD COFFEE.

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HEY, NEW GUY, YOU'RE AWFULLY QUIET.

EVEN IF YOU’RE HERE BECAUSE OF A PROJECT AND SHIT, YOU STILL GOTTA CONTRIBUTE TO THE CAUSE A BIT, MAN.

YOU’RE NOT TO STEP FOOT IN A STARBUCKS OR A DUNKIN’ AGAIN.

I KNOW, IT’S THE COMMERCIAL SEWAGE YOU’VE BEEN DRINKING, RIGHT? NOT EXACTLY CEREBRAL.

AND YOU HAVE TO GO TO OUR COFFEE-TASTINGSLASH-HOUSEPARTY THING ON WEDNESDAY.

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THINK HE’S READY?

WE’VE GOTTA DETOX YOU OF THAT SHIT, OH BOY.

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ARG! HAD SUGARLESS ARTISAN COFFEE TODAY.

WAS IT AS DISGUSTING AS YOU ALWAYS IMAGINED IT TO BE?

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ENOUGH TO MAKE ME WISH I WASN’T AN ANTHRO MAJOR. NO MORE ETHNOGRAPHY REPORTS ON “LOCAL SUBCULTURES”.

HEH, MAYBE HIGHER ED ISN’T FOR YOU AFTER ALL. Y’KIDDING? I’VE GOT MY PH.D. IN NUZZLING.

LEX, ISN’T IT WEIRD THAT BRAX LETS YOU HANG AROUND AND TAKE NOTES? WHAT? WHY WEIRD? CUZ, HE’S ALMOST 40, AND COLLEGE KIDS ARE ALL HE KEEPS COMPANY.

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I’M A “KID” NOW? WELL, ISN’T IT OH, COME WEIRD THAT YOU ON. I WAS A USED TO DATE THE FRESHMAN, VERY SAME ELDERLY STARRY-EYED. INDIVIDUAL? AND BRAX’S BUNCH ALWAYS SEEMED NICE, ...FROM A DISTANCE...

ANYWAYS, HE’S JUST DESPERATE FOR MORE GOONS.

...OF A MILE.

ALWAYS ROOM FOR YOUNG, IMPRESSIONABLE MALE SOPHOMORES TO JOIN THEIR LITTLE TREE HOUSE CLUB.

AGAIN, OFFENSE IGNORED. BUT MALE? WEREN’T YOU WITH THEM ONCE?

GOD NO. BRAX DIDN’T WANT ME “GIRLING” UP THE PLACE, HIS WORDS.

BESIDES, I THINK HE WAS AFRAID THAT THE GUYS WOULD TAKE TOO MUCH OF A LIKING TO ME, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

ECH, HIS RAT PACK? I WOULD KEEP YOU AWAY TOO.

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UH-OKAY. LOOK, LEX. I APPREARE YOU EVEN LISTENING?

...

OOOM YEAH, WHAT?

LEX, I APPRECIATE THE CONCERN. BUT YOU’VE GOTTA KNOW THAT ALL THIS TALK OF “KEEPING ME AWAY FROM THIS AND THAT” IS THE EXACT REASON WHY I DUMPED BRAX.

THAT’S NOT THE POINT! IT’S ABOUT ME NOT WANTING ANOTHER FUCKING DUDEBRO TO TELL ME WHAT I CAN AND CANNOT DO.

AGAIN WITH THE OLD BAGGAGES? REALLY, WHY GET WORKED UP ABOUT IT? IT’S NOT LIKE YA WANNA HANG OUT WITH ANY OF THEM ANYWAYS.

TREATING ME LIKE I’M ALREADY GUILTY BECAUSE I HAVE TITS AND GUYS HAPPEN TO LIKE THAT.

ALRIGHT, STEPH, MY MISTAKE! YOU’RE A FUCKING NUN AND AIN’T NEVER DONE WRONG.

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WOW.

YOU’RE RIGHT - THAT STUFF’S BEHIND YA NOW.

YOU’RE GOING THERE?

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...THE SHITTY THING TOO IS THAT I DIDN’T EVEN NEED TO REBEL OR “GO WILD” TO MAKE POINT.

I COULD HAVE JUST SAID, “PLEASE TRUST ME.” AND THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN THAT. BUT MISTER BRIGHT LIKES HIS BIMBO CAGED, SO FUCK HIM.

HE MIGHT HAVE HAD A DIFFERENT IMPRESSION OF WHAT WAS GOING ON.

SINCE YOU VALUE HIS OPINION SO MUCH, WHY DON’T YOU ASK HIM ABOUT IT WHEN YOU BOYS ARE HAVING YOUR LITTLE COFFEE GET-TOGETHER THIS...

WEDNESDAY. AND PLEASE STOP CALLING ME “BOY”. WE’RE ONLY THREE YEARS APART.

PLENTY.

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Manpuccino Issue 1 of 3

Produced and published in Vietnam.

Manpuccino is also available for free @ issuu.com/hienquy/docs Story, art, and book design by Ian Quee. Don’t let the nom de plume fool you, because he is as Vietnamese as it gets. Ian has habitualized zine production, making them almost out of impulse.

Since his stint with independent publishing began last October, Ian has authored:

Ế/Unsold art-lit magazine (co-author)

Photo zine They Covet Your Home Mini-story Of Self-Inflicted Crises As well as contributions to other zinesters:

Hanoi Panic

Vănguard

The Vietnamese Queer Lexicon (Tuyền Từ Quêêr) But why do I even bother with ego stroking? This isn’t a damn CV.

Primadonna girl, Ian Quee Aeonghe@gmail.com Twitter @HienADay