I Am Simply Urging You to Be a Christian

By Lynnette Fredericksen

I DON’T WANT TO DO IT!

I am scared! What will I say? What if what I say sounds stupid? What if I make a fool of myself? What will others think of me if they find out I do this “churchy” thing? What will pastor think of me? Can I trust my pastor?

Auugh! Why has pastor reinstituted private confession and absolution? He says it has been around from the time of Reformation. Martin Luther even said that he would not exchange it for all the wealth of the world for he knew what strength and comfort it had given him. I check my Book of Concord, and find this: Holy Absolution is the “voice of the Gospel,” and says “we must believe the voice of the one absolving no less than we would believe a voice coming from heaven.” But why couldn’t pastor have left it hidden on the back shelf like it has been for the past couple hundred years?

Do I really need to do this? I have not robbed a bank or killed anyone, but I am troubled by guilt because of little, dumb sins. I need to dump this load of guilt.

But preparation is scary. There is nothing pretty about looking at myself and seeing what sin I have committed against God. It is hard to face the hurt I have caused others by what I have said or done; or the things I have not done. The evil in my heart is horrible to dig out and look at. It is hard to face the truth of my sin once I strip off all the excuses, blaming of others, and explaining it away. I am not very good at accepting responsibility for my sin.

What about pastor? Can I trust him not to reveal to others what I confess to him? Will he think less of me when he hears what sin is in my heart? As pastor, he has sworn before God in his ordination vows “never to divulge the sins confessed to you.” I just have to trust. It is what God has ordained. I see my pastor go to confession. It is reassuring to know that he understands what it is like to be the penitent.

I go to confession. I confess my sins to God. My pastor is just the puppet for God. He is there with his ear facing me as a tomb. My sins will be buried in forgiveness, hidden as if in a tomb. Still, it is hard to confess my failures, and the words do not come easily. I have prayed before confession for the Holy Spirit to help me since I cannot even repent or confess my sins without God’s help. Then, the truth pours out.

God absolves me of my sin through this man I know as my pastor. What peace knowing my sins are removed as far as the east is from the west. I know my sin has been crushed in the nail prints in Christ’s hands as my pastor puts his hand on my head during the absolution. I am reminded of the forgiveness of sins I have received through my Baptism when he makes the sign of the cross. He even sometimes does it on my forehead just like when I was baptized as a baby. I am sent off knowing I am free. Free from the sin and the guilt. When Satan brings up sins of my past, I can confidently tell Satan to get behind me as God has forgiven my sins. Absolution is what this whole process is about.

Why go though such angst? Is personal confession and absolution worth it? It certainly is! I now know a peace through forgiveness of sins that I never received in the general absolution I had heard thousands of times. It even has made hearing the general absolution in church more meaningful. Why did our church fathers take away such a wonderful gift from people for all these years? Now I feel as if I have been cheated.

Martin Luther sums it up best: “If you are a Christian, you should be glad to run more than a hundred miles for confession, not under compulsion but rather coming and compelling us to offer it...Therefore, when I urge you to go to confession, I am simply urging you to be a Christian” (LC: A Brief Exhortation to Confession, 30, 32, Tappert).

Lynnette Fredericksen is a teacher at Christ Lutheran Academy in Pleasant Prairie, Wisconsin. She is the treasurer and business manager of Higher Things.