It Takes Time

By Mark Pfundstein

How many times have you been told to act your age? Your mother may have said this to you once or twice because even though she gave birth to you fifteen years ago, you were behaving like a five-year-old child. You probably weren’t kicking and screaming on the floor, but you may not have been behaving appropriately for someone your age.

But what is acting your age? It is sometimes hard to know. You are neither a child nor an adult.You are too old to play with toys but not old enough drive yourself to the mall or to sit around the dinner table with adults as they discuss politics, work, and life in general.

So what is a teenager to do? What, indeed!

It is important to put everything in a little perspective. People don’t spring forth as adults, fully formed and ready for life. Instead, we enter this world completely helpless. It is only as we grow that we acquire what we need to mature and become an adult. Essential to this is the guidance and wisdom of our parents.

Your first steps were most likely hesitant and unsteady steps between your parents, who stood ready to catch you when you fell. Gradually, your steps became more confident. Still, you were unable to stray any farther than your front yard without your mother or father. Little by little you were able take on more responsibility and more complicated activities. Eventually, you were able to cross the street or walk to the park, at first with your parents, then by yourself. At some point, you were able to go places farther from home without your parents. Each milestone builds on one another. Some come quickly. Others come slowly. Sometimes they seem painfully slow.

As a teenager, I was often impatient for grown up things. “Wouldn’t it be great if I could drive?” or “I wish I could have my own house where I make the rules,” I thought to myself. As teenagers, we believe ourselves to be ready for real life and act as though we know what we’re doing. Sometimes we strut around acting like we have all of the answers and know how to handle things. In reality, we are just pretending.

But as much as I liked to think so, as a fifteen-yearold, I was completely unready to live without my parents. There is no way I was mature enough to have a job, maintain a residence, pay bills, and have a family. Surviving high school was stressful and responsibility enough. At this time, however, I was ready to learn how to drive, have my first job, and manage the money I made from my work. To be sure, it wasn’t truly real life, but I was gradually making my way there.

Through all of these things, my parents nurtured and instructed me. As my parents and as adults, my mother and father were mature people who had experienced these things before and could teach me the skills needed to be a mature adult. They could see when I was ready for some things but unready for others. They were prepared to encourage me, correct me, and discipline me when appropriate.

Finally, I left my parents, went to college, and eventually started life on my own. I had reached maturity, or at least maturity of a sort. I have come to find that no matter how old one is, there are always aspects of one’s life that will continue to mature and develop. There are always different parts of life that will challenge you, improve you, and make you grow. The most important part of life where we are never fully mature and where we are continually challenged is spiritual maturity.

Unlike our physical, emotional, and intellectual maturity, our spiritual maturity is not something that will naturally develop, nor is it something that we can achieve ourselves. While earthly maturity continually pushes toward independence, growing in spiritual maturity is an ever-increasing realization of our absolute dependence on God.This is not something that comes naturally, since the doctrine of salvation through Christ’s death and resurrection is foolishness to the unbeliever. But in our Baptism, we were reborn, and as we grow in our Baptism, we are continually instructed by the Father through His Word.

The world and our sinful nature are always pushing us toward trusting in our own strength, knowledge, and wisdom. Relying on our own strength, knowledge, and wisdom is the height of folly; we cannot save ourselves. Our salvation and our spiritual maturity come by understanding that because of our sin, only the sacrifice of our Lord Jesus Christ can save us. It is also important to realize that God forgives our lack of maturity and does not expect us to be perfect before accepting us.

As teenagers and Christians, it is hard to know how we fit into this world.The maturity we require takes time to develop. Our parents and our heavenly Father are ready, willing, and able to help us realize our full maturity. But be patient; it takes time.

Mr. Mark Pfundstein is a member of the Higher Things Board of Directors and lives in Washington, D.C. He can be reached at mpfundstein@gmail.com.