The Bright Light of
in the Darkn I was raped. For a long
time, I grappled with feelings of fear, anger, shame and insecurity. These emotions led me to become secluded and not confide in anyone what had happened to me. Questions lingered and raced through my mind. What might happen to me? Pity, nagging questions, investigation, trials or rumors? My refusal to deal with these overwhelming emotions during this time caused a deep depression. I felt lonely and worthless. This struggle was reflected in my school work and friendships. I lost most of my closest friends due to my seclusion. My grades slipped and I was tempted to drop out of school. I went from being a happy, social high school student to a shadow of a girl with no hopes for the future.
As time passed, I was eventually able to confide what happened to my family and eventually, trusted friends. It was one of the most difficult things I’ve done. However, through this experience I have learned so much:
H HI GI G H HE RE R T T H HI NI N G G S S __ __ 20 20
That there is freedom in forgiveness. Jesus teaches us the power of forgiveness in the book of Luke when He is being crucified. He says, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.” What happened to me was not my sin. My rapist sinned against me. But my holding onto un-forgiveness was also a sin. I’ll never forget the moment I decided to forgive my rapist. I felt so freed from all the darkness I was holding onto. Reminded of Jesus’ forgiveness, I let go of the power the devil had been using to hold onto me. I also learned that I can always trust the Lord to help me through the struggles of recurring emotions from this trauma. It is not a sin to feel emotions but, it is wrong to use these
