Meet Beth Jeffery, Founder of Cairn Connection

The closest I have come to meeting Beth in person was a missed encounter on a trail I consider "in my backyard". I didn't know she was hiking so close to me or I would have made a point to at least say hi to her at the trailhead. I only knew she was there because I saw her car (with her personalized plates) as I was leaving.

Even though I have not met her in person, I feel like I know her. She wears her heart on her sleeve and shares her candid experience surrounding the loss of her son, Shamar, and the struggles and emotions that she experiences from such a tragic loss.

It's heartbreaking.

But Beth is one of the strongest women I think of when I think of strong women. She has turned an experience that would cripple most mothers into a way to connect other women who are also dealing with loss with the healing power of nature. They hike together, cry together, and in turn are healing together. It is inspiring to witness and the hope that Beth exudes is contagious.

In addition, Beth is an amazing outdoors woman and badass. I am constantly in awe of the scope of her knowledge and willingness to do the hard things (like dangle from a helicopter for Search and Rescue training). You might want to grab a tissue or two for this interview!

Jaime: How did Cairn Connection begin?

Beth: I often joked at work about quitting my job and thru hiking full time. I had a wild dream to teach women backpacking skills and guide trips. After losing my son, Shamar, in 2018, I struggled with resuming life as it was before. I felt a desire to do something more than just be a Vice President at the local Credit Union. I had a vision for a different path. So, a year after my son passed, I gave a 30 day notice at my job where I had worked over 20 years. I went on a backpacking trip during that summer and then enrolled in a Wilderness First Responders course. Then, I applied for my business license, created my webpage, Facebook, Instagram, and Meetup pages. I wanted to help women who had lost a child or any type of loss. It was slow at first. But, then I posted on a local community page and women began coming to events. We hiked, we talked about gear, we went on backing trips, and then I saw women smile again.

Jaime: How has the hiking and the outdoors helped you through the loss of your son, Shamar?

Beth: When you hike for 8 hours a day, 7 days a week, for 3 weeks, you have a lot of time to think about things. You think about the good times, the things you wish you could have done different, you cry, you get angry, and everything gets left on the trail. Hiking helps you be present and live in the moment. It also strips you down to all the raw emotions you have inside. You have no choice but either be happy or cry.

Jaime: Now that you are navigating a different life without Shamar, what have you learned that helps you to help other people going through their own loss?

Beth: We all deal with loss in life. Not many people talk about it, we hide our emotions, and we are not honest about how we are doing. People would freak out if you are crying in the breakfast isle of the grocery store, because you heard a song or you are no longer buying pop tarts for your son. When you find someone who understands the pain you have endured, it’s comforting. I encourage women to talk about their loved ones, let their emotions show, and be honest with how they are truly feeling. I often say it’s okay to not be okay.

Jaime: What is one positive thing someone can do that is suffering from a major loss in their life?

Beth: Find your people. When the dust has settled, and everyone moves on with their life, you need people to check in on you. Have someone who supports you through the holidays, anniversaries, birthdays, and bad days. Grief doesn’t go away in a year or two, it’s a lifetime of missing someone you deeply love. Do what makes you happy and find time to exercise, even if it’s just a walk in the neighborhood. Maybe go for a hike in the mountains, listen to the wind blow throw the trees, enjoy the bright colors of the flowers, enjoy a sunset at an alpine lake, and see if the wilderness brings you some comfort.

Jaime: Your strength shows in many ways including your extensive outdoor experience. What advice would you give to a woman just starting to get outdoors?

Beth: We all start somewhere. Start small and do your research to be prepared on the trail. There are many resources on line, including the Cairn Connection Facebook page. Bring the 10 essentials, tell someone your itinerary, make sure your backpacking gear is lightweight, and don’t pack your fears. Train well for your trips and know when to turn around

Jaime: Tell us a little bit about your SAR experience! What has been the most exciting aspect of becoming a part of it?

Beth: I wanted to give back to the trail someway and found myself on Riverside Mountain

Rescue Unit. Helping find lost or unprepared hikers and bringing them home is so rewarding. What I didn’t realize was I would be repelling off cliffs and lowered out of helicopters. Also, being one of the few women on the team, and the oldest active woman in the field made me feel pretty proud.

Jaime: You just recently climbed Mt. Hood- did you have any “magical” moments on the mountain?

Beth: Magical? I was scared going into Mt Hood. I had done my research and read about the chute to the peak. I had seen the photos. Someone had recently slipped on the chute and passed away a week before our climb. When I previously climbed Mt Shasta, I knew how fatigued my legs became on the 7 hour climb. On the day of the climb for Hood, we met our guide at 12:30am. We were moving well in the dark with headlamps,

and I could hear water nearby in the fumarole. The smell of rotten eggs was strong. We reached the hogback and saw the next steep section of the mountain. We roped up together and continued our climb with ice axes in hand and crampons on our boots. Then we reached the old chute. Our guide placed ice anchors at the top of the chute that we were tied to incase we slipped. We began our vertical crawl up the ice wall, as pieces of ice were falling down. My husband was tied into the rope, just below me. As I kicked in steps, I was basically ice climbing, I had to make sure I didn’t kick his hands or head. Before I knew it, we had made it to the peak. It felt much easier than Shasta and we were off the mountain by 10:30am.

Jaime: What is your all-time favorite trail and why?

Beth: That’s hard to choose just one. I would have to say the John Muir Trail; 222 miles from Yosemite to Mt Whitney. It’s a difficult trail, climbing 9 passes, 47,000 feet of elevation gain, one peak at 14, 508 feet, but it’s some of the most beautiful mountains, creeks, and alpine lakes. I’ve hiked it 3 times and a 4th time in sections.

Jaime: What does “Hike It Off” mean to you?

Beth: It’s when life doesn’t go as planned, you throw on your hiking shoes and head to the mountains. There you can be angry, mad, scream, cry, and find happiness again. You leave it all on the trail, by “hiking it off.

Jaime: What do you have planned next? How can we support you?

Beth: The end of August I’m headed to Washington to hike the 92 mile Wonderland Trail that circles around Mt Rainer. Maybe I’ll climb Mt. Rainer one day. Once Covid is under control, we have a deposit for a 14 day trek to Everest Base Camp. Hopefully one day I will complete the Pacific Crest Trail. I’ve hiked about 700 miles of it in sections, but I would like to hike the trail completely in one attempt.

I appreciate the support by letting me tell my story about my son and how I have turned a bad situation into helping others. If anyone out there is struggling with grief or loss, please send them to Cairn Connection.