2.14 Acumen

as pe o Vo f c i a l. 1 t h e l e d 2. 1 - HiL itio 14 Iss it n .1 ue e 4 3

valentines day

KYLE CRAWFORD / COVER PHOTO

the valentines day issue LET TER FROM THE EDITOR

Dear readers, Valentines Day every year constitutes a large event at CHS from the flurry of carnation sales to couples exchanging gifts in the hallways.

In this issue, my associate editor Jason and I have tried to implement light hearted coverage to entertain readers from the graphic on page 6 about how to break up with a significant other to the love advice from our newspaper’s own managing editor Taylor Acton and ads Purpose Acumen is an issue-based publication serving to supplement the HiLite. Acumen is distributed to the students, faculty and staff of Carmel High School. Opinions expressed herein are not necessarily representative of those held by CHS, the Carmel Clay system faculty, staff or administration.

Staff

Acumen Editor in Chief Acumen Associate Editor Reporters

Contact information Mailing Address: 520 E. Main St., Carmel, IN 46032 Phone: (317) 846-7721, Ext. 7143 Website: www.hilite.org E-mail: Staff members of the HiLite may be contacted via email by using their first initial and their last name appending @hilite.org. For example, Julie Xu will receive an email sent to jxu@hilite.org.

salesman Case Pasanen. Also, the Acumen has covered topics that are especially prevalent in our generation, which include how social media and texting have changed relationships in this technology-filled era. We hope you enjoy the issue!

Your Acumen Editor in Chief, Julie Xu

Graphic Artists

Graphic Reporters Julie Xu Jason Klein Taylor Acton Christine Fernando Nida Khan Sarah Liu Maham Nadeem Case Pasanen Stephanie Zhang Jiva Capulong Rachel Chen Anthony Ko Aaron Shi

HOW MUCH TIME IS TOO MUCH TIME TOGETHER? Taylor: Case and I have classes together, have the same group of friends and hang out most weekends, so when he was searching for a job, I told him not to apply where I worked. You have to understand that everyone needs a little space. It takes a while, but you need to learn how to balance out time for your relationship and also balance the other aspects of your life.

LOVE ADVICE from TAYLOR ACTON AND CASE PASANEN Staff members Acton and Pasanen, who have been dating for nine months, give you their advice on common high school relationship problems SHOULD A COUPLE BREAK UP BECAUSE OF COLLEGE? Taylor: It kind of depends on the relationship.

College relationships are different from high school relationships. However, just because a couple isn’t going to the same school doesn’t mean it can’t work. It just takes a lot of commitment on both ends.

Case: If you are going to different schools, yes. It would be way too hard to stay with someone if you are miles apart. If you are going to the same school and you still want to be with the person, then why not?

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SHOULD THE GUY PAY FOR EVERYTHING? Taylor: I don’t think the guy should have to pay for everything. Dating in high school is expensive. They pay for gas, take you out to dinner and pay not only for their food, but for the girl’s.

It’s not a bad idea to help out every now and then.

Case: It depends. The guy should always pay when he asks the girl to go on a date or takes her somewhere.

HOW FAST IS TOO FAST? Case: You need to take time to get to know the other person before you commit to being in a relationship with them. There are many factors you need to take into consideration before making a big decision. I’d say, realistically, a few months is a good amount of time to get to know someone before you ask them out.

WHAT IS CONSIDERED TOO MUCH PUBLIC DISPLAY OF AFFECTION? Taylor: I don’t think it’s a big deal for a couple to hold hands or anything like that, but as soon as people start kissing in the hallway it gets to be too much. We get that you love each other, but you can go 90 minutes without touching.

Photographers

HiLite Editor in Chief HiLite Managing Editors

Principal Superintendent

Laxmi Palde Ellen Peng Kyle Crawford Jaymee Stout Annika Wolff Alex Yom Claudia Huang Taylor Acton Eric He Hafsa Razi Andrew Wang Mr. John Williams Dr. Nicholas Wahl

IS IT OKAY TO BE FRIENDS WITH EXES? HANG OUT WITH A FRIEND OF THE OPPOSITE SEX ALONE? Taylor: It depends. Some of my best friends are guys. Whenever I plan on being alone with them I definitely talk to Case about it first. Just be honest and take into consideration how you would feel if it was the other way around.

Case: As far as exes, it varies based on how long ago the relationship was and how serious of a relationship you were in with the other person. If it was a big deal and there is a potential for there to still be feelings there, then I would say no. It’s unfair to the person you are currently in a relationship with. Hanging out with a friend of the opposite sex alone is okay, as long as you talk to your significant other beforehand and make sure they know the person and are okay with it.

IS THERE A PURPOSE TO BEING IN A HIGH SCHOOL RELATIONSHIP? Taylor: The key to high school relationships is to not take them too seriously. Never let a relationship define you. It should be a learning experience for you to see what kind of person you are and what kind of person you’re looking for. Sometimes one person is more invested in the relationship than the other, and this can lead to stress and heartbreak.

Case: It’s a good way to find out who you work well with, what kind of person you like and sometimes even the type of person you don’t work with. The only downside is that relationships sometimes end badly, but the benefits definitely outweigh the risks.

The Truth About Love

The butterflies you get when you meet that special someone; the sparks when their hands brush yours—are these feelings from your heart or just impulses from your brain? Check out the stages of love in your heart and in your brain.

The Feelings of Love Stage 1

Stage 1

Hypothetically, everyone starts at the “lust” stage. This stage is characterized by “cravings” caused by testosterone and estrogen, sex hormones that tell you to search for a potential partner.

It seems as if everyone around you is in a relationship.

You crave the feeling of love.

You search for a potential partner everywhere, but you haven’t found them yet.

Stage 2 You finally meet the person of your dreams in a chance encounter, and feelings develop.

You can’t eat, sleep or stop thinking about this person. In other words, you’re lovestruck.

Stage 3

The Science Behind Love

Stage 2

1

During the attraction stage, neurotransmitters activate:

The most important function of the hypothalamus is controlling the pituitary gland, which secretes hormones directly in the bloodstream.

Dopamine, produced in the ventral tegmental area (VTA), works as a motivator, due to its connection to the brain’s reward system.

The positive feelings produced resemble that of cocaine and nicotine use. In essence, love is addicting.

Norepinephrine, a hormone produced by the locus coeruleus, increases heart rate and blood pressure. This is known as the “rush” of love.

The VTA receives information from other parts of the brain to effectively meet the needs of the organism. To communicate with other parts of the brain, the VTA utilizes dopamine.

The locus coeruleus is the alarm center of the brain.

When activated by stress, it will secrete more norepinephrine, which will promote motivation and awareness.

2

Levels of serotonin, a neurotransmitter that provides a sense of control, drop to amounts similar to that of obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). As a result, you may become obsessed with your lover. Temporary insanity may even occur.

You have a strong sense of attachment towards this person. You can see yourself married to them in the future, as well as having children. This step is normally not found in teen relationships.

ELLEN PENG, AARON SHI / GRAPHIC FORBES, YOUR AMAZING BRAIN AND BBC / SOURCES

Stage 3

3

The raphe nuclei produces serotonin, which is involved in aging, healing wounds and memory, just to name a few.

Oxytocin is released by the hypothalamus in the final stage of love, which strengthens the bond between lovers when they engage in sex. Though it is known as the “love hormone,” it is also associated with feelings of jealousy.

Vasopressin, also released by the hypothalamus, intensifies the feelings of devotion and protection. Vasopressin and its partner oxytocin can interfere with the dopamine and norepinephrine pathways, which tone down passion felt during the stage of attraction.

Scan this QR Code to take a Face Perception Test by BBC to see what your “ideal” partner looks like. http://tinyurl.com/vfv5

Feb. 14, 2014

03

discovering the differences between media and reality Students here find a disparity between how relationships are portrayed in media and in reality Written by Stephanie Zhang, Photos by Nivedha Meyyappan

E

very week this year, senior Jessie Meltzer developed a habit of turning on the TV to her two favorite shows: “How I Met Your Mother” and “Breaking Bad”. Despite the clear differences between the two shows, there are significant elements of romance in both of them.

Compared to Meltzer’s over two-year relationship with her boyfriend, senior Ethan Stanley, the portrayal of relationships on TV, in movies and in the media creates a clearly conspicuous disparity versus relationships in real life.

“There definitely seems to be a dramatic difference between the two. Relationships on TV are pretty dramatic in that they show the extremes of both sides. You know, they show couples being really, really happy together, but they also show them being really upset and angry with each other,” Meltzer said, “And to an extent, I think it’s true, because there are times when you fight with your boyfriend or girlfriend, but there are also times when you’re happy, but it’s definitely not to that extreme.”

Stanley said, “The emotion that movies and shows portray, by stretching and exaggerating things, evokes those same emotions in the audience, which captivates and intrigues viewers to keep watching.”

Jeremy Osborn, director of the Center for Teaching Excellence at Grand Rapids Community College and author of a paper revealing the effects that romance in TV shows has on real-life relationships in September 2012, also said TV and movies typically focus more on the dramatic, more interesting parts of relationships, in addition to skewing the portrayals to the extreme, instead of

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the normal, ordinary interactions, which compose the majority of a relationship.

“One of the big differences is TV shows and movies don’t focus on the mundane, day-to-day kind of work and maintenance that goes into relationships. It focuses more on more exciting and interesting things like grand romantic gestures. I mean if you really look at what kind of the glue that holds together relationships, a lot of it is in the mundane, day-to-day stuff. It’s in the conversations around the dinner table. It’s in how you treat each other all the time and how you talk to each other and the little things you do for each other,” Osborn said. “It’s not in the grand romantic gestures, which usually get focused on, because if I’m going to write a 90 minute screenplay about a relationship, I’m not going to spend 90 minutes showing people having mundane dinner conversations.”

Senior Nik Karklins said he has also noticed the dramatized relationships in the media, in contrast to his relationship. However, he believes there is a reason behind this besides making the TV show or movie

more interesting and entertaining for the viewer.

Karklins said, “I know at times, (the media) almost over exaggerates the goods and the bads in some relationships.

But I think that they portray (love and relationships) dramatically to make sure that the audience understands what is happening between the two people, emotionally.”

According to Meltzer, in addition to those cheesy, romantic gestures, fights between couples are also a reoccurring aspect in TV and movies. Although real-life couples are also bound to face arguments, Meltzer said they are normally more private about fights than couples on TV shows.

“Obviously, TV shows are more dramatic, and in arguments they tend to pull in a lot of other people into their drama. Like, when couples are fighting, it’s like everybody’s business in the show, and it creates all this commotion where everyone that you see in the show basically takes a side,” Meltzer said. “But in real life, it’s definitely not like that.

Especially, I know, when me and my boyfriend get into a fight, I will ask for advice from someone, but I definitely won’t make it everybody’s business.”

“Obviously, TV shows are more dramatic, and in arguments they tend to pull in a lot of other people into their drama...but in real life, it’s definitely not like that.”

Senior Jessie Meltzer

Although highly dramatic, the fights couples have in TV shows and movies rarely are unresolvable, according to Osborn.

Osborn said, “When you have a show like “Modern Family”, you know, in shows like that, it’s not that the couples don’t necessarily have little spats, but it’s very rare that 30 minutes will pass and it won’t be resolved Common by then.” signs you have Movies are the same, according to Osborn. unrealistic Even when things seem expectations the worst of the worst in a relationship, there’s Always wanting always a way out. There’s expensive gifts always that moment when they realize they were meant to be together, and then they make-up and live happily ever after.

However, Osborn Expecting your partner to said, “At the end of the be extremely attractive day, in real life, there are sometimes conflicts that don’t have neat resolutions like that.”

This disparity between relationships in the media and in real life does affect real-life relationships, according Feeling like you have to be Osborn’s research. After together 24/7 surveying 392 married individuals, analyzing their relationships and comparing them to what kinds of TV shows they watched, Osborn concluded that the higher someone’s belief was JASON KLEIN, NIVEDHA in the TV’s portrayal of MEYYAPPAN, LUCUS CHENG / relationships, the lower his GRAPHIC or her commitment levels to the relationship was.

Both Meltzer and Stanley fall under the category of people who do not believe strongly in the media’s depiction of romance and relationships.

Stanley said, “The dramatized portrayal of love in TV shows and movies hasn’t really affected me or my relationship, because I was never really into romantic movies or TV shows. But I know girls sometimes will see the “perfect relationship” in some movies, when in reality, those things usually just don’t happen.”

Meltzer, who does watch TV shows with romantic relationships, said, “If you’ve ever been in a serious relationship, I think it’s easier to see that (couples in TV) are not very realistic because of what you’ve experienced, so it hasn’t really affected me in being like, ‘Oh, I want to be like them’ or something. It’s more like ‘I know that’s not real, so I don’t really have any desire to be like that.’ However, people who are wanting a relationship or have never

really been in a serious one, I think those people are more likely to look at it and think, ‘Oh, look how unrealistically happy they are. I want to be like that.’”

Although Meltzer said that she and Stanley aren’t affected by the skewed romance in the media, Osborn said that there are some people who do watch romantic comedies and start to let those movies influence their expectations in their relationships.

Karklins said although his relationship now isn’t influenced by romance in media, he did have a few, slight preconceived notions before going into his first relationship.

“Before my first relationship, I felt like it would be all happy and fun, but that just shows producers do over exaggerate relationships in media, TV and movies to make us want it to be like that in our relationships,” Karklins said. “I don’t expect my relationship to be perfect where we never fight. I expect to have some

True Love?

rough times, but that’s normal in a relationship.”

While Meltzer, Stanley and Karklins all fall under the category in Osborn’s study of not being very influenced by how relationships are portrayed in the media, Osborn said people who are, in turn, influenced by the media, want the “fairytale.”

Osborn said, “It’s like at the very end of “Pretty Woman”. Julia Roberts says, ‘I want the fairytale.’ That’s what she says—‘I want the fairytale.’ And that’s what people want; people want the fairytale.”

However, Osborn said, “There is a take-away point there; it’s that knowledge is power. Just have some self-awareness; just kind of look at yourself and try to figure out what is the real problem in whether these expectations are realistic. Is it driven by media, is it driven by books or is it driven by something that’s actually grounded in the real world, and not the MTV show, ‘The Real World?”

Some movies have been labeled as notoriously unrealistic, while others portray love faithfully. A University of Nevada-Los Vegas survey found the most commonly cited realistic/unrealistic films.

“Titanic” (1998)

“(500) Days of Summer”(2009)

“My Best Friend’s Wedding” (1997)

“The Notebook” (2004)

Summary: Two lovers, Jack Dawson and Rose DeWitt Butaker, meet on the ill-fated trip of the R.M.S. Titanic.

Rose has a lover, but Jack pursues her anyway.

Verdict: Unrealistic

Summary: When Julianne Potter discovers feelings for her best friend, George, just before his wedding to another woman, she has to find a way to break it off.

Verdict: Realistic

Summary: Summer Finn has always believed that relationships are a fantasy, but when Tom Hansen comes into her life, she is forced to make a choice.

Verdict: Realistic

Summary: Allie Hamilton, a girl from a rich family, falls in love with a poor man, Noah Calhoun. She has a fiancé, but still has to choose her true love.

Verdict: Unrealistic

RACHEL CHEN, LAXMI PALDE / GRAPHIC UNLV / SOURCE

Feb. 14, 2014

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Breaking It Down 1

Speak face to face

:(

2

It’s Valentines Day, but maybe you don’t want to get a gift for your significant other. Whatever the reason, most relationships end at some point. Here are some tips on what to do and what not to do when breaking up.

What To Do

Do it in private

3

Explain why

4

Give them space

</3

1 meter

No, but seriously.

Well, maybe not that close...

What Not To Do

1

Text them

2

Pretend he is a stranger (Jack)

3

It’s not you, it’s me.

bae <3

Contact

I don’t know you.

Hey

Anti-clichés

We can still be friends.

4

Cheat on them

It’s not me, it’s you.

Uh...what

Jack

Messages

Clichés

Uh...what Let’s never talk again.

Hey Wanna see a magic trick?

Sure Poof ur single iMessage

5

6

Insult them Hey. You’re really attractive today.

Thanks, is it my new dress?

Send

Terrible pun

7

No, you’re so fat you have your own gravitational pull.

Dump them...

Literally

8

This

Look! It’s my ex-boyfriend’s house.

This is my house...

Exactly.

Do you have bad reception? I think we’re breaking up.

ALEX YU / GRAPHIC

For the singles out there...

VALENTINES DAY MIXTAPE Compiled by Nida Khan No Valentines Day is complete without love songs. If your significant other loves music, gift him or her a playlist with songs that can represent your relationship. Play it for him or her on your way to the date or just while hanging out at home. Some songs you might want to include:

Silly Love Songs Wings

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Dream a Little Dream of Me Ella Fitzgerald & Louis Armstrong

I Was a Fool Tegan and Sara

Close Your Eyes Single Ladies Michael Bublé (Put a Ring on It) Beyoncé

ITUNES / SOURCE

f

Texting, Social Media, and Relationships

Have you ever broken up with someone via Facebook, text or email?

67%

DREAMSRAIN.COM / SOURCE ANTHONY KO / GRAPHIC

33% Yes

No

Yes

Would you ever break up via Facebook, text or email?

ANNIKA WOLFF / PHOTO ILLUSTRATION

HIGH SCHOOL relationships through a technological lens Social media and texting have positive and negative impacts on students here

40%

60% No

More men (44%) than women (37%) say mobile devices make it easier to flirt and get acquainted.

On average, how many texts do you send to your significant other every day?

0

11+ 38 %

19%

17% 6-10

26% 1-5

Written by Christine Fernando

O

n a typical day, junior Sophia Gould spends nearly three hours with her boyfriend, senior Keith Lovingfoss, through the use of texting and social media websites. Despite her frequent use of these technologies, Gould said relying on texting and social media to build relationships is dangerous, and spending time with a boyfriend or girlfriend in person is more effective.

“It’s a lot better to spend time with your boyfriend or girlfriend in person instead of social media because you can’t find out who that person truly is or understand them on a deeper, more personal level without talking to them or seeing them face-to-face,” Gould said.

Over 40 percent of Americans spend more time socializing through the Internet than in real life, according to a 2012 study by Badoo, a social experimentation site.

Gould is not alone in her regular use of social media.

However, a study released in June 2013 by the Journal of Cyberpsychology suggests a strong correlation between social media and texting usage and relationship issues.

Sophomore Olivia Miller, on the other hand, said social media and texting are beneficial to relationships and allow her to stay connected with her boyfriend Dominik Govek, a sophomore at St. Theodore Guerin High School.

“I think social media and texting have a positive effect on dating because it allows more flexibility, and it lets you

stay in contact with people more easily, especially if it’s hard to see them in person,” Miller said. “Since my boyfriend and I go to different schools, we don’t really get to talk a lot in person. It really helps out a lot that we can use (social media and texting) to keep in contact when we can’t see each other in person.”

Theresa Ramos, media and communications department chair and media specialist, said although she often uses social media to promote the library or connect with loved ones, media can also harm relationships by causing misunderstandings.

“People, students especially, read into comments or the lack of comments a bit too much sometimes,” Ramos said.

“This leads to misunderstandings that wouldn’t normally happen if you were speaking in person, and that can seriously harm relationships.”

Gould said she agrees that communicating through social media and texting can create needless drama through misunderstandings.

“People kind of read into stuff too much on social media or texting because you can’t really tell how the person is saying it or if they’re using sarcasm or something, so it’s easy to misunderstand people,” Gould said. “These misunderstandings lead to drama, which is never very good for a relationship. It’s definitely a lot better spending time with someone face-to-face because you can

understand each other more easily, and it’s just easier to get your feelings across.”

According to Ramos, the main danger behind social media and texting is that they make relationships more detached and cold.

“It’s impersonal that you can have ten people sitting at a table just hunched over their phones, not talking to each other,” Ramos said. “I’ve definitely seen kids, especially high schoolers, get too deep into social media or texting or whatever technology that they’re using, and they lose touch with all the relationships around them that are in the real world.”

Ramos said relationships require one-on-one time outside of technology in order to be strong. Therefore, students should recognize the value of a personal relationship they share with loved ones in the real world.

“Relationships require work to remain strong, so that means investing yourself in the other person, and this is a lot harder when you’re so focused on social media or texting to connect with people,” Ramos said. “When you take a step back from your phone or computer and actually connect with a person one on one, I feel like there’s a much more personal connection, and that allows stronger, more durable relationships to build. Sometimes, you’ve got to just try to build relationships the old-school way and maybe leave some of the social media behind.”

Feb. 14, 2014

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Opposing Viewpoints No. Popular culture has made it nearly impossible for men and women to be just friends. By Maham Nadeem

I

n second grade, my teacher would let us out for recess everyday. Upon walking out, I saw swing sets to my left, a jungle gym to my right and a glorious castle in the middle. Yes, a castle. It was red, blue and yellow with domes, had slides every way and even a draw bridge right in the center. I clearly remember a game we used to play; it was a game of pretend. As I mentioned earlier, this playground resembled a castle, so one of the girls would take on the covetous role of a princess and a boy would take on the role of a prince. Inspired by fairytales, we naturally had the prince and the princess fall in love and live happily ever after.

The key word in the above sentence is “naturally.” From a young age, popular culture has ingrained certain societal values into our minds. Since we were little, we have been exposed to fairytales like Cinderella that cemented the notion of romantic love between the two genders in our minds. Through popular TV shows, movies and books, society has created a natural order of events: first comes friendship and then a romantic relationship. This order has been deemed an accepted process.

Research by Professor Emma Renold at Cardiff University highlights the pressure to turn a close boy-girl friendship into a relationship. The study, which interviewed

Is it possible for boys and girls to be “just friends?”

Reporters Maham Nadeem and Sarah Liu debate.

125 school children between the ages of of sexual desire. You and someone Yes. Platonic friendships absence 10 and 12, concluded that the children of the opposite gender do not have to date talked about boyfriend-girlfriend culture or be romantically attracted in order to be can exist between as something they had little choice about close friends. Think about your relatives. opposite genders; in participating in. Moreover, the study Certainly, some of your relatives must be of continued to state the benefits of being the opposite gender, but you don’t show fact, we should value in a romantic relationship; being in such sexual affection toward them. Even so, your a relationship shielded the children from love toward them is equally affectionate, them more. By Sarah Liu bullying and gave them a desirable status. correct? If such love exists between you In this way, societal norms have made it nearly impossible for men and women to be just friends. From grade school, it has been embedded in our minds that men and women are romantically related, not platonically.

Because we have been exposed to this idea presented in books, movies and television, our actions and our interactions have come to express it. From romantic movies such as “The Notebook” to TV shows such as “How I Met Your Mother”, we are exposed to the same story: boy and girl meet; they become friends and then they fall in love. It’s the classic tale that resurfaces in nearly every story.

Just like after a new movie comes out and suddenly men start cutting their hair like the hero and women start dressing like the heroine.

The story which likely follows this pattern is bound to have a profound impact. It is naïve to assume otherwise.

L

et’s face it. We commonly see girls and boys together talking in hallways, classrooms and other places. Most students here, including myself, have close friends of the opposite gender they don’t consider a “boyfriend” or “girlfriend.” It’s a very common sight, but some believe these kinds of relationships cannot exist because romantic feelings bubble just beneath the surface. Even so, we should recognize and treasure their existence.

Many often think platonic friendships cannot exist because they misinterpret the term. Being platonic friends is not being “just friends.” The key factor to platonic friendships is outlook because affectionate intimate connections of the minds of these friends epitomize such ties.

Being “just friends,” however, is not as deep because both parties do not intend to be physically involved.

While such cognitive affinity may make two people of the opposite gender seem like lovers, the other key factor is

and your relatives, it can certainly exist between two friends.

As human beings, intimate friendships give us pleasure, which we can find in sexual relationships. However, friendships have varying degrees. According to Aristotle, the highest degree of friendship is platonic as closeness builds up through thoughts and ideas. So there is still pleasure, but it’s a better pleasure, bolstering affections like ionic bonds in chemistry. From this, regardless of gender, friends can enjoy sharing similar values, such as music in the case of composer Pyotr Tchaikovsky.

A lady named Nadezhda von Meck loved Tchaikovsky’s works. They shared ardent passion for music, and furthermore, von Meck supported Tchaikovsky financially, yet they were never physically involved, demonstrating platonic friendships can exist and, in a sense, be beneficial.

Women and men can and should nurture platonic friendships despite their biological nature, but by no means am I telling you to break up your dating relationship (if you even have one, that is) today. You can still enjoy time with your loved one(s) and follow whatever plans you two have. All I’m saying is you don’t have to completely focus on each other today.

Just make sure to make it just as special for all your friends. They deserve your favor as much as a significant other does.

Graphic Perspective on Platonic Friendships By Jiva Capulong

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Feb. 14, 2014