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Be the Bigger Man Confrontation is oftentimes unnecessary, people should reassess conflict before being upfront LEAH TAN, CALINA HE SPEAK-UPS, PHOTOS
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There’ve been many times when I hen in an argument realized I was getting frustrated over a with a friend, I always petty argument. For example, as much make a conscious decias I think night showers are the way to sion to take a step back and reassess go, wasting both time and energy to arthe situation. In doing so, I often find gue only proves how problematic conmany of the issues I was concerned frontation can be. Is it really necessary over were small and petty, making me to voice your thoughts on everything ask myself the following question: how all the time? Even if it isn’t over somemuch messier would the situation be if thing controversial, it can leave a sour I confronted the person immediately? taste in everyone’s mouths. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not The old saying “You catch saying you should completely more flies with honey than conceal your feelings and opinwith vinegar” holds a lot of ions; you have every right to truth; approaching each be entitled to them. Howsituation with the intent ever, I’m saying that voicing to listen more than talk is every minor concern you a much more collaborative have with the purpose of and peaceful approach that trying to convince the other benefits all parties of the arguparty otherwise is a rash acin the end. It’s easy to tion and can complicate the SOWMYA IS WRONGER ment think otherwise especially in situation even more.
S P EA K U P !
How do you confront your friends? “My friends and I don’t usually have any problems. It never really comes down to having to confront them. It’s like “I don’t really wanna do this” and then we all just agree on it and it’s always a good compromise.”
Senior Anna Berger Romeu “I tend to avoid confrontation. For the most part, I like to diffuse the situation by taking a step back and letting people have their own space as it’s the best way to avoid more tension and drama.”
Sophomore Caleb Suhy
did you know? Many people avoid confrontation because of the way it makes them feel, appear in the eyes of others or because of some bad experiences they’ve had. ELITE DAILY SOURCE
LEAH TAN COLUMN
the heat of the moment, but that’s exactly why it’s best to not take action immediately. Just think about it: which is more important? Trying to prove you’re right or resolving the situation? If your only goal is to try to prove you’re right, you won’t gain any benefits except for a shallow sense of satisfaction. Instead, you are left with even more tension among others which can significantly damage relationships. However, if you were to approach the situation calmly and rationally, you are bound to resolve the situation, benefitting everyone in the end. In today’s social climate, most people believe approaching every situation with confrontation sends the message that you demand respect, but they fail to realize that remaining silent does the same. Be the bigger man; if you talk less and smile more, you let others know you are mature enough to move on from a situation and don’t need to make additional remarks that would escalate it further. It doesn’t necessarily mean you passively agree or concede that you’re wrong. In the end, it’s important to understand that time and reflection can avoid conflict. If you take the time to calm down and reassess the situation yet still believe that it’s an issue to be talked about, then it’s justified to be more assertive. But regardless, when confronting, just listen to others’ concerns while also carefully voicing yours. Don’t approach with the intention to try to shove your ideas down their throat—it won’t be pretty. h The views in this column do not necessarily reflect the views of the HiLite staff. Reach Leah Tan at ltan@hilite.org
