Hinsdale Magazine June 2018

SERVING HINSDALE, BURR RIDGE, CLARENDON HILLS & OAK BROOK

JUNE 2018

HINSDALE’S FIRST MAGAZINE $5 US VOLUME 8 ISSUE 6

OAK BROOK

POLO

The Tradition Continues PLUS

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PUBLISHER’S LETTER Scott Jonlich FOUNDER & PUBLISHER

sjonlich@hinsdale60521.com

Thirty-two years ago, Oak Brook’s royal polo weekend Diveheart, and he has an inspiring story to tell. Jim is started out as a personal invitation from Oak Brook Polo the son of a disabled veteran and the father of a daughter Club chairman Michael Butler to his friend, Charles, who was born blind, and later learned to ski. Jim told Prince of Wales and heir to the British throne. This event Hinsdale Magazine how he dug deep inside himself, would mark the first time the Prince of Wales would play before deciding to leave his successful media career with with a British team on American soil. The U.S. team Tribune Co. to start Diveheart, a non-profit which has included Michael Butler, Adam helped thousands of disabled Butler, Stuart MacKenzie and people ranging from children with Geoffrey J.W. Kent, while Prince autism to wounded war veterans. I Charles’ team members included first met Jim at his Downers Grove Andrew Seavill, Martin Brown and world headquarters last October, Oliver Ellis. The final score of the and he told me how his dream to game was 12-10, in favor of the help others was inspired by his dad prince and his team. and his daughter. I hope you enjoy I interviewed Michael Butler Mike Ellis’s feature story on p. 60, three years ago to discuss that royal and consider getting involved with polo weekend, and he said from Diveheart, which needs volunteers 1954 to 1979, Oak Brook was the at local chapters. Contact Jim if largest polo club in the world, and you know of someone who can OAK BROOK there were patrons coming from all benefit from scuba-diving and its quarters of the globe. Oak Brook incredible zero-gravity benefits, or The Tradition Continues Polo had 13 polo grounds, an airwould like to offer your time and PLUS strip and people arrived in planes. skills.

Gifts for your man this Father’s Day Summer travel: northern exposure Country club chic As the tradition of Oak Brook Polo Finally, last summer, Hinsdale continues, Hinsdale Magazine is Magazine conducted its “Best of proud to serve as media partner for Reader Favorites Survey,” and the fourth straight year. more than 10,000 votes were The 2018 season swings into action on Sunday, cast spanning 40 categories, including 160 nominations June 10 with opening day ceremonies to celebrate Oak for businesses. The 2018 official results will be seen in Brook’s 96th year. The Oak Brook Polo team will be led our July “Best Of Reader Favorites” issue and online at by captain James Drury against Aranmore-Morgan Creek. www.hinsdale60521.com. Remember to go online and A June issue would not be complete without a vote for your favorites, or visit our Facebook page, @ Father’s Day feature. Jim Elliott is the founder of TheHinsdaleMagazine.

SERVING HINSDALE, BURR RIDGE, CLARENDON HILLS & OAK BROOK

HINSDALE’S FIRST MAGAZINE $5 US VOLUME 8 ISSUE 6

POLO

10

Hinsdale60521.com | HINSDALE MAGAZINE, INC.

JUNE 2018

CONTENTS | June 2018 10 PUBLISHER LETTER 18 TO DO LIST

June/July calendar of events

22 COVER STORY HM talks with Jim Pehta on the

privatization of Oak Brook Polo Club

26 FASHION & STYLE

The be-jeweled man

35 30 ARCHITECTURE & DESIGN

Country club chic

60

35 SUMMER TRAVEL

Northern exposure

40 GIVING BACK

Spirit of altruism

42 COMMUNITY SCENE

Casino Night Annual Tea Wellness House Walk Community House Walk Derby Day It’s a Wrap Hinsdale Cooks! Kitchen Walk

60 SPOTLIGHT

Change of scenery

64 INSIGHT

by Dan Meyer Good men

26 ON THE COVER: Charles, Prince of Wales plays polo at the Oak Brook Polo Club in 1986 as part of his tour during his visit to Chicago. Photographed by Mark Reinstein.

FOR THE LATEST NEWS, HAPPENINGS AND PHOTOS, VISIT HINSDALE60521.COM 12

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FOUNDER & PUBLISHER Scott Jonlich sjonlich@hinsdale60521.com CONTRIBUTING EDITOR Mike Ellis mike@hinsdale60521.com CREATIVE DEPARTMENT Cheryl Chrzanowski Julia Sinogeikina CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Julie Jonlich Kerrie Kennedy Madeleine Miller COLUMNISTS Jim Fannin Dan Meyer FEATURE PHOTOGRAPHERS Daniel Garcia Kyle Hampson Jennifer Lawrence Marco Nunez Marcello Rodarte ADVERTISING SALES Larry Atseff Renee Lawrence Advertise@Hinsdale60521.com

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No person, organization or publication can copy or re-produce the content in this magazine or any part of this publication without a written consent from the publisher. The publisher, authors, contributors and designers reserve their rights with regards to copyright of their work. Hinsdale Magazine, Inc. assumes no liability or responsibility for any inaccurate, delayed or incomplete information. The information contained about each individual, event or organization has been provided by such individual, event organizers or organization. The opinion expressed in each article is the opinion of its author and does not necessarily reflect the opinion of Hinsdale Magazine, Inc. Comments are welcome, but they should be on-topic and well-expressed.

Copyright Š2018 Hinsdale Magazine, Inc. All rights reserved.

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TO•DO•LIST 6/1-10

The Little Mermaid

Be part of something special.

Ariel will sing her way into your heart. Everyone will be humming the show’s irresistible songs, including “Under the Sea” and “Part of Your World.” www.thecommunityhouse.org

6/8

Book Release Event

This is the perfect time to purchase your copy of House of Belonging. Join author Andrea Thome for wine and cheese at this open house event at Barbara’s Bookstore in Burr Ridge Center from 5 to 7 p.m. andreathome.com

6/9-10

Hinsdale Fine Arts Festival

Located in the heart of historic

18

JUNE/JULY 2018

downtown Hinsdale, the Hinsdale Fine Arts Festival has been a cherished tradition for more than 40 years. The show hosts 130 artists throughout the shady trees of Burlington Park. www.hinsdalechamber.com

6/14, 21 and 28

6/16-17

Join us in June for our 16th season in Burlington Park. www.hinsdalechamber.com

Enjoy a variety of artists, inspired activities, fresh ideas and a colorful weekend. cantigny.org

6/10

A riotous ride, complete with audience participation, a delightful den of comedic genius, this fast-paced crowd-pleaser is likely to become one of your favorite shows. www.thecommunityhouse.org

Chicago Polo Day

The Club’s opening Sunday will feature a highly-anticipated Chicagoland matchup, pitting the Oak Brook Polo team against a local rival. www.oakbrookpoloclub.com

6/12

Free Taco Tuesday

Come to Burlington Park in Hinsdale for an evening of free tacos. The event will feature family fun, music and more. www.villageofhinsdale.org/pr

Hinsdale60521.com | HINSDALE MAGAZINE, INC.

Uniquely Thursdays

6/14-17

Spelling Bee

6/15-16

Villa Park Summerfest

Join us for food, beer, bags tournaments, children’s activities, live bands, arts and crafts, local vendors and much more. www.invillapark.com

Art in Bloom

6/17

Chuck’s Father’s Day Brunch

Join us for our annual Father’s Day brunch buffet, which will include breakfast items, soups, salads, carving station, entrees and desserts. Call 331-431-4000 for reservations. chuckscafedarien.com

6/17

Father’s Day BBQ

Bring dad for a fun noontime Father’s Day barbecue in our pavilions. Enjoy a complete, all-you-can-eat summertime buffet. Seating is limited and

Hear 33 country artists, including Rascal Flatts and Miranda Lambert, with food, drinks, vendors and more. lakeshakefestival.com

reservations are required. www.czs.org/fathersday

6/21

Solstice Bash

Exclusively for adults 21 and older, this evening offers you open access, unlimited shows and unique entertainment. www.adlerplanetarium.org

6/23

Craft Beer Festival

Sip on local favorites and explore new beers from more than 45 breweries, while enjoying the beautiful surroundings of The Morton Arboretum. www.mortonarb.org

6/22

Beer & Food Pairing Event

Join us for a six-course tapasstyle dinner featuring a unique dish created by Uncle Bub’s, and intentionally paired with a Blue Nose Brewery craft beer to suit your palate. www.villageofhinsdale.org/pr

6/24

Drake Challenge Cup

Oak Brook Polo is excited to welcome the Mexico polo team to play for one of the club’s oldest and most celebrated trophies, the Drake Challenge Cup. www.oakbrookpoloclub.com

6/22-24

Country LakeShake

6/29 - 7/1

Eyes to the Skies Festival

Hot-air balloon launches, flights and evening balloon glows, plus food, crafts, live music and nightly fireworks. www.eyestotheskies.org

6/29 - 7/4

Frontier Days

Family activities, live music, carnival, food, beer and wine, a parade and a weekend craft market at Recreation Park in Arlington Heights. www.frontierdays.org

6/30

Cardboard Boat Regatta

Watch crazy cardboard boats float or sink on Lake Ellyn in Glen Ellyn. Bring a picnic or shop from the food trucks. It’s

an afternoon of hilarious fun, whether you’re onboard or onshore. www.glenellyn4thofjuly.com

7/5,12,19 and 26 Uniquely Thursdays

Join us in July for our 16th season in Burlington Park. www.hinsdalechamber.com

7/15

Butler Challenge Cup

We invite you and your guests to a day of conservation and horses and horsepower. The afternoon starts with an on-field parade of new and classic Ferraris for you to admire, which is followed by the finals of the historic Butler Challenge Cup tournament. www.oakbrookpoloclub.com

Hinsdale Magazine’s event calendar is provided as a service to the Hinsdale area community. Hinsdale Magazine does not endorse or certify any of the community events listed herein or the accuracy of the listing of said events including dates. Please confirm dates and times with other sources. The information contained in this section is a simple listing of events happening around the area that the staff believes may be of interest to the general community.

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Hinsdale Magazine | Cover Story

OAK BROOK POLO

OAK BROOK POLO TEAM Captain James Drury, Horacio Onetto, Tomas Obregon and Mariano Gutierrez

The Tradition Continues

By Miguel Molina | Photography by Marco Nunez In 2016, the Oak Brook Polo Club underwent a radical change, from a town-owned polo club to one that was privatized. These changes brought forth a variety of different benefits to many of the sponsors, vendors and especially, the spectators of the game. Hinsdale Magazine interviewed Jim Pehta, former co-chair of Oak Brook Polo Club, to learn more about what the privatization of the club has accomplished two years later for the team, sponsors and spectators alike.

What are some of the major changes to Oak Brook Polo since privatization?

At the end of the 2016 polo season, it became clear that it was in the best

22

interest of the village that we privatize polo, and reduce the financial liabilities to the village and move them to the private sector. I went to James Drury, who was the captain of the Oak Brook Polo team, with reasons for the privatization idea.

James Drury worked with Dan O’Leary, the former marketing director of the US Polo Association, and came up with a business proposal to continue Oak Brook Polo as a private entity. It was accepted by the village. Village president Gopal Lalmalani was very helpful in the overall effort to privatize polo in Oak Brook.

The specific details of the plan included the fact [that] the polo club would lease the polo field for a fee from the village,

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and continue to grow Oak Brook Polo.

It was in the best interest of Oak Brook Polo, the Village of Oak Brook, as well as the future growth of polo. Overall, the privatization was a major step forward.

How did the management structure change with the privatization of the Club from before? The Village of Oak Brook sought volunteers to provide leadership and direction to the operation of the club in concert with professional event sponsors and others. I had the pleasure of working with fellow Oak Brook residents Kathy Maher, who was the other co-chair of Oak Brook Polo through 2014, and then Beverly

Taylor, who served as co-chair of Oak Brook Polo through 2016. Today, both continue to provide guidance and help to the Oak Brook Polo Club.

What are the major benefits to the patrons who will attend? The value of privatizing expanded the sponsor base dramatically, as well as the introduction of other Chicago area teams, international teams, which came back and forth to Oak Brook. Simply having a polo professional in charge of the operation, like Daniel O’Leary, made all the difference in the world.

What about added dates and international teams? Yes, based on Daniel O’Leary’s experience, he was able to broaden the sponsorship base dramatically. This was helped by adding the additional revenue and opportunities from both advertisers and participants, including the spectators.

What about the quality of vendor services, such as food and beverages? In the past, there was a catering company that handled the food and the beverage, and with privatization, they brought in [the] Drake Hotel, [which] handles the beverages and a variety of different options of food, from food trucks to other people with grills. It opened up an opportunity for hospitality for the sponsors, as well as the spectators in general.

In general, what do you see as the future for Oak Brook Polo? A couple of the new opportunities that showed up this year are two major events. Number one, they are going to have a Special Olympics Polo session on June 24; and September 23 is the US Polo Open. It’s going to draw teams from all around the country, and it hasn’t been played here since the 1970s. So, you see the dramatic growth and opportunities that privatization of polo, under professional polo leadership, has brought to the village. n

For more information about Oak Brook Polo, visit www.oakbrookpoloclub.com.

POLO POINTERS

THE GAME Six chukkers, seven minutes and 30 seconds each. The field is 300 yards long and 160 yards wide. On the end line at each end are goal-posts, 24 feet apart. Points are scored by hitting the ball between the posts. The game is polo. Each time a goal is scored, the teams change direction of play. It’s like hockey on horseback. It is legal to “hook” the hitter’s mallet. The game is very physical, and can be dangerous. In between chukkers, there is a four-minute break for players to change ponies and get a drink. After three chukkers, there is a ten-minute halftime. With time-outs for penalties and the like, a typical match lasts an hour and a half.

PLAYERS There are four players on the field for each team, wearing jerseys numbered 1 through 4. The roles of each player are the forward, who is always out in front waiting for a pass; the hustler, quick and aggressive with fast ponies; the quarterback, which plays in the pivot; and the defender, who plays in back. There are no goalies. Athletes need to be very physical, and have a good “backshot.” Helmets are required, and some have facemasks.

Players wear padded knee-guards with long boots; some may choose to wear elbow-pads.

MALLET It’s a solid bamboo cane with a hard wood head. The mallet ranges from 50 to 54 inches in length, and the ball is struck with the side of the mallet, not the end. All players must hold the mallet in the right hand; left-handed play is not allowed.

THE BALL Today’s polo ball is solid plastic, weighing a quarter of a pound, and is a little larger than a baseball. Historically, polo balls were made out of wood.

THE HORSES They are called ponies. Most are former race horses, high-speed thoroughbreds with exceptional abilities. The tail is braided to stay out of the way of the mallet. The mane is clipped off so the player can see the ball, and to prevent the reins from being tangled in the mane. The idea is for each player to have six ponies—one for each chukker.

HORSE EQUIPMENT The saddle is English, and a girth, over-girth and breastplate help to hold the saddle in place. Two sets of reins are used, and a martingale—a part of the harness—keeps the pony from throwing its head and blocking the player’s view. The lower legs are wrapped for support and protection.

FOUL When you hear the umpire blow the whistle, it‘s just like basketball—somebody fouled. The other team gets a free hit. The most common foul is crossing the line. Forty percent of all the points in a game are scored from the foul-line.

THE SHOTS Players actually stand up in the stirrups when hitting the ball. The shots are made from the “off” side, which is the right side of the horse. (The left side is called the “near” side.) With reins in the left hand and a mallet in the right hand, the player is only holding on with his or her legs.

HANDICAP Players are rated on a scale of minus-2 to l0, with beginners starting at minus-2. In handicap matches, each team adds up the ratings of its players to arrive at a team rating. The difference of the two teams’ ratings is awarded as points to the lesser-skilled team as the beginning score of the game.

RULES Polo is governed by the United States Polo Association (USPA). The rules are so complex, more than 80 pages in the USPA Rule Book are required just to explain them. In a nut-shell, don’t hit your horse or anyone else’s with your mallet; you can’t play left-handed; no dangerous riding; abusive play and foul language are not allowed. If a player comes off his or her horse or off the field, the clock can continue to run. The team with the most points at the end of six chukkers wins. If the game ends in a tie, the teams play sudden-death.

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Q&A ASK THE EXPERT

Michael Jankowski

Founder & President, Wealth Planning Network

A frequent seminar leader and lecturer, Michael has been a financial advisor in the area for over 25 years, and has successfully helped hundreds of high net worth clients achieve their financial goals.

Cracking the Nest Egg: When Accumulation Becomes Distribution Throughout your working life, I am sure that you have been saving as much as possible into IRA’s, 401(k)’s, and investment accounts to save for retirement. During the accumulation phase, you save, and hopefully maximize total returns on all accounts. Your ultimate goal would be to have a large enough “nest egg” to support you and your family and fund your lifestyle for the rest of your life after your working years.

Though many may stress about the accumulation process, and if they have enough saved come retirement, the bigger pressures may come at distribution. How will you distribute the funds? Which accounts should you “crack” first? How often do you need funds? What are your potential tax consequences from these distributions? At the time of retirement, the ultimate goal is now to provide enough income to meet lifestyle needs and to allow the nest egg to diminish (as it must naturally) without letting it disappear. Entering retirement with a solid plan is something that we should all look forward to. Let’s take a closer look at some easy mistakes retirees can make, and how to avoid them by having a strategic plan in place.

Beware of Costly Distribution Mistakes Compounding (in reverse): Compounding, at its surface, is usually a good thing. The earlier you start saving, the earlier your investment will build into something greater than if you had started to save later. This also works when determining withdrawal rates: taking out too much too soon will diminish the impact of compounding on the remaining assets. Remember that the shorter the money stays invested, the less it will grow. This idea may sound simplistic, however those taking a rate of withdrawal that is too great without their knowledge usually do not realize until it is too late, and their nest egg is near diminished.

Dollar Cost Averaging (in reverse): As investing naturally works, investing a fixed dollar amount during volatile markets allows you to buy more shares when prices are low (buy low, sell high). This is a good thing. But, let’s say you withdraw a fixed dollar amount from a volatile portfolio. Now you may have done serious damage, because more shares must be liquidated to provide the same about of cash, as you are selling at a lower price. Again, a simple description of a costly mistake, that many do not realize until it is too late to fix.

The above only illustrates a few examples of potential mistakes. Part of transitioning into retirement is learning the fundamental concepts related to managing your nest egg, such as the dangers of volatility, excessive withdrawals, longer withdrawal period than expected, among others which can undo a lifetime of meticulous saving.

Income Planning Strategies There are many ways to approach retirement, and there are different strategies that are more appropriate for some than others. Some choose to “live off interest” while others set up a withdrawal plan at a specified rate, both of which are viable options. The classic strategy is to shift from a growth-oriented portfolio to investments that generate income, including bonds and stocks. Your income consists of the actual payments thrown off by the investments. Any assets not needed for current income generation may be invested in equities for inflation protection and long-term growth.

Another common, more constant approach is to set up a withdrawal plan. Say you plan on withdrawing 4% of your account balances per year, each subsequent withdrawal increasing by the inflation rate.

Under the 4% rule, the assets are invested in a diversified portfolio of stocks and bonds.

These strategies, however, differ depending on whether you are distributing from a taxable or nontaxable account. For example, if you want tax-free income from a taxable account, you can buy municipal bonds. If you want tax-free income at retirement from an IRA, you could convert to a Roth IRA (which you would pay taxes on at time of conversion). By retirement, you will probably have multiple accounts.

When considering distributions, look at your nest egg overall, and determine how you will start to use these accounts to your advantage.

Impact of IRA Withdrawals If you will plan to use IRAs in your retirement planning, you will need to consider the current, and future, tax impacts of these withdrawals.

This could take planning years ahead of distribution. It may not make sense to defer distributions for traditional IRAs until the last possible moment if doing so might create such a large required minimum distribution placing you in a higher tax bracket.

Once you start the distribution phase, your accounts require much closer attention. Not only must you invest the assets in a prudent manner, you also must watch the amount, and timing of the distributions to ensure the funds last. Retirement is something that we all want to enter with a solid plan. It is a big transition when you leave the workforce to live off your savings and requires an attitude adjustment in both you and your advisor. Transitioning into retirement stress-free is something you should look forward to, after all, you have been working for this your entire life.

If you have any questions regarding how you should be saving for retirement, or if you would like your current plan reviewed, please contact our office for a COMPLIMENTARY CONSULTATION today.

ONE PARKVIEW PLAZA, SUITE 117 | OAKBROOK TERRACE, IL | 708-481-4000 | WWW.WPN360.COM This article is not intended to provide any specific tax, legal, or financial planning advice, and is meant solely for informational purposes only. If you would like more information, please contact Wealth Planning Network to speak with an advisor directly at 708-481-4000.

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Hinsdale Magazine | Fashion & Style His and hers.

Maya Brenner 14K gold asymmetrical letter necklace (Prince Harry and Meghan Markle reportedly both own one, each with both of their initials), $240 at mayabrenner.com

The be-jeweled man Gifts for your man this Father’s Day

By Kerrie Kennedy Rappers have long rocked heavy gold chains and dental grills, but it’s only recently that mainstream attitudes have shifted regarding male jewelry.

Think Prince Harry and David Beckham and their beaded bracelets; Bradley Cooper and his silver dog-tag necklaces; Harrison Ford, Will Smith and their “diamond-stud” earrings; Chris Hemsworth and his statement rings; and of course, Johnny Depp with his full-on pirate bling. It’s a whole new world out there, but for those men not ready to take the metrosexual leap, there’s always the wristwatch, the longtime acceptable face of male jewelry.

Ring with bling.

David Yurman Cable Classics Band Ring with 18K gold, $750 at Nordstrom in Oakbrook Center, nordstrom.com

Brace yourself.

William Henry Boots & Denim Bracelet, $1,495 at Bella Cosa Jewelers in Willowbrook, bellacosajewelers.com That’s a wrap.

Alexander McQueen Double Wrap Leather Bracelet, $275 at Nordstrom in Oakbrook Center, nordstrom.com

Watch what happens.

Piaget Polo S watch, 42 mm, Sapphire crystal case back, prince upon request, Merry Richards Jewelers in Oakbrook Terrace, merryrichardsjewelers.com

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An apple a day.

Apple Watch Hermès Stainless Steel Case with Fauve Barenia Leather Double Tour, $1,299 at apple.com

Captain of your heart.

Breitling Superocean Heritage II Chronograph 44 in steel and blue, price upon request at Razny Jewelers in Hinsdale, razny.com

Chris Hemsworth

For your caveman.

Sterling and 18-carat yellow gold arctic lace with dinosaur bone center cuff-links, $1,395 ring, $1,150 at Caffray Jewellers in Hinsdale, caffrayjewellers.com

Need for bead.

David Yurman Hex Bead Bracelet, $595 at Nordstrom in Oakbrook Center, nordstrom.com

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Arrow and leaf chandelier Neoclassic in style and the quintessential club chandelier, this large EF Chapman fixture in antique burnished bronze casts a gorgeous glow. www.visualcomfort.com

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Display case Tall, dark and handsome, this classic, mahogany Glover display case with an exotic painted-forest interior, adjustable glass shelves and touch lighting beautifully displays trophies, awards and the like. www.bakerfurniture.com Wing chair The iconic club chair is present in virtually every clubhouse—especially near the fireplace—, because of its “wings” mounted to the back of the chair to protect it from drafts and trap heat from the fireplace. This Pascal chair takes on modern lines in stylish fabrics. www.bernhardtfurniture.com

Bar cabinet A mainstay at every club, elegantly store your “water of life” and barware in this Clarendon Vienna Walnut Bar Cabinet with steel metal collars and center stretcher. www.bernhartfurniture.com

Drink Table The perfect wing-chair companion, this shiny and sleek Lexicon black lacquer and polished-bronze drink table styles classic lines with up-to-the-minute design techniques. www.bakerfurniture.com 30

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Hinsdale Magazine | Summer Travel

Black sand and pink granite beach on Lake Superior

Northern Exposure

There’s something magical about an old-school lake resort. Like summer camp for the entire family, it’s a place where friends are made, and families return to summer after summer, its memories sustaining them throughout the winter. While many traditional lake resorts are disappearing, transforming instead into private vacation retreats, there are plenty still around in northern Minnesota, most of them just an eight-hour drive from the Hinsdale area. Here are some of the best:

By Kerrie Kennedy

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Grand View Lodge www.grandviewlodge.com Old-school in the best way, the historic Grand View Lodge on Gull Lake with its own sandy beach has been a popular summer destination since 1916, offering a huge range of family-friendly activities—including two championship golf courses, fishing, pontoon boat rides, inner-tubing, horseback riding, yoga, a zero-depth pool for little ones and a variety of children’s programs, not to mention a full-service spa and six different restaurants and bars.

Accommodations are just as vast.

Besides the main lodge, Grand View Lodge features a variety of rustic chic cabins, cottages, townhomes and even golf villas with private game rooms. A number of packages and price points are available, and parking and WiFi are always free.

Madden’s on Gull Lake www.maddens.com Built in the 1920s, this one-stop vacation destination features four golf

courses, five swimming pools, three beaches, a lakeside spa, a tennis and croquet club, a marina and a variety of water sports and activities. There’s even a Roman-Catholic church onsite, so you don’t have to leave the property if you want to attend Sunday services.

Madden’s offers seven different dining options (be sure to try the Friday night walleye special at the main lodge restaurant) and its very own Irish pub complete with karaoke and live music.

Lost Lake Lodge www.lostlake.com This all-inclusive resort, nestled in a romantic pine forest in the Brainerd Lakes area features 14 cabins and cottages, all with fireplaces and daily housekeeping service, and all just a short hike away from its self-named Lost Lake. If you want to bring your boat along, this 70-year-old resort offers complimentary boat slips, but there are also a variety of boats (pontoons, motor boats) available to rent, not to mention kayaks and fishing gear. Besides the Continued on page 38

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Grand View Lodge Golf Resort & Spa / Graddy Photography

Hinsdale Magazine | Summer Travel

Hinsdale60521.com | HINSDALE MAGAZINE, INC.

Enjoy the pure beauty of golf with a deluxe golf package on Madden’s Pine Beach East and Pine Beach West courses.

Hinsdale Magazine | Summer Travel fact that this resort has its own selfcontained lake, what really sets it apart is its world-class cuisine, all of which is included in the reasonable nightly and/ or weekly rates.

Lutsen Resort www.lutsenresort.com At Lutsen, founded in 1885 by a Swedish immigrant, you’ll find examples of its heritage throughout, from the Scandinavian architecture of the historic Edwin Lundie lodge to the stone fireplaces, hand-hewn beans, log cabins and laid-back woodsy vibe where you can smell wood smoke in the air, and hear wolves howling at night. Located on a private cove on Lake Superior, Lusten is not only the oldest resort in Minnesota, but it is also the largest ski resort in Minnesota. Lutsen offers a range of summer activities as well, from fly-fishing to paddle-boarding, kayaking to hiking, golf to swimming, free kids camps and live music by the campfire.

Not surprisingly, fresh fish is the highlight of the menu at the lakeside

dining room. And whether you choose to stay in a log cabin, river condo or sea villa, you’ll enjoy sweeping views of what is the largest of the Great Lakes.

Breezy Point Resort www.breezypointresort.com This 90-year-old Minnesota institution on Pelican Lake in Breezy Point offers a little something for everyone—spa, golf (there are three courses), sunbathing, swimming, saunas, boating, tennis, live entertainment at the Dockside Lounge and four different restaurants, including one featuring lakeside dining. Boaters might want to pack a picnic and head out to Gooseberry Island, a short ride away. Breezy Point features a variety of accommodations—hotel-like suites, condos, townhomes, apartments—, but some of the most interesting include the four-bedroom boathouse that’s right on the lake, the Prairie Style BP Wright Cabin that sleeps up to 14, and the Fawcett House, a log mansion from the 1920s. n Breezy Point Resort, Antlers Pond

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The Lodge at Lutsen Resort has been the classic Lake Superior vacation destination for generations. Unwind while taking in the beauty of the historic Edwin Lundie Lodge, built with charming Scandinavian architecture.

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Hinsdale Magazine | Giving Back

Tony and Maria Nasharr of Hinsdale

Spirit of altruism Hinsdale couple leads charge for Rush Associates Board

By Mike Ellis | Photography by Daniel Garcia

I

n May, a Hinsdale couple chaired the 12th annual Rush Associates Board casino night, supporting Rush University Medical Center.

Local philanthropists Tony and Maria Nasharr have been involved with Rush for more than two decades, and have been instrumental in growing casino night since its inception in 2007.

Roughly 660 tickets were sold for the fundraiser, setting an all-time record for the event.

Casino night has been held at designer Tom Kehoe’s The Geraghty south of the Pilsen neighborhood on the west side of Chicago for the

40

Hinsdale60521.com | HINSDALE MAGAZINE, INC.

Casino night has raised more than $200,000 each of the past five years, and in consequence of the fundraiser, associates board membership has swelled from roughly 50 to 150 over the past decade. past three years.

“It’s a big event space, very open; so you have to style it your own way,” Tony Nasharr said.

Maria Nasharr said her friend Cindy Clark’s father was a trustee at Rush, and that she engaged her “in the early ‘90s to really start up this associates board.”

Roughly a decade later, she said Rush wanted to reconstitute its associates board, and hence, the casino night concept was born.

“The event was really designed to see if we could raise some additional money beyond our own contributions,” Tony Nasharr said.

Maria Nasharr said in the incipient years of the fundraiser, it was run exclusively by volunteers, adding that roughly 90 percent of Rush medical students volunteer with the organization in some capacity.

“All contact that I have had with the different centers at Rush—personal practitioners, everything is exceptional,” she said. “I’m just awed by the dedication.”

According to Tony Nasharr, casino night began as a black-tie event held on Saturday night, with tickets priced at about $300.

“We raised ‘okay’ money, but there was a point in time when we decided, ‘We’re just like every other blacktie event, so maybe we should do something a little different,’” he said.

After about five years, the Nasharrs and their fellow core group of board members elected to revamp the fundraiser, moving it to Friday night, and adopting more relaxed attire.

“It’s become a real event that people look forward to,” Tony Nasharr said, “and it’s not your standard black-tie fundraiser.”

Each year, casino night supports a different department of the medical center, starting with the neonatal intensive care unit back in 2007.

“Across these 11 years, it’s been fun to get to learn about the various aspects of Rush Medical Center,” Maria Nasharr said.

At the 2018 event last month, Rob Stafford of WMAQ Ch. 5 spoke, describing Rush’s involvement in helping him recover from a rare blood disease, before introducing the

department head at Rush’s Autism Assessment, Research, Treatment and Services (AARTS) Center.

“He got everybody’s attention; he was wonderful,” Maria Nasharr said.

“There was a lot of attention [devoted] to when he was up at Mayo [Clinic in Minnesota], and everything went fine there, but it didn’t quite get him where he needed to be in terms of remission,” Tony Nasharr said. “[He] came back here, and was introduced to Rush, and they’ve been caring for him.”

The Nasharrs said casino night has raised more than $200,000 each of the past five years, and in consequence of the fundraiser, associates board membership has swelled from roughly 50 to 150 over the past decade.

According to Maria Nasharr, Rush is particularly focused on the University Village neighborhood in which it is located, wherein residents have significantly shorter life expectancies than their counterparts in the Gold Coast and other more affluent neighborhoods in the city.

“They’re very dedicated to the area that they are centrally located in,” she said.

Tony Nasharr said in recent years, the organization has conducted “Rush rounds,” at which a panel of doctors addressing concerns about a particular topic, both in the city and in suburban locations like Hinsdale Golf Club.

“They usually pick a topic—maybe it’s heart health, maybe it’s sleep disorders, maybe it’s aging,” he said. “They bring out a panel of doctors, and they have a dialogue with those people in attendance.”

Encouraging fellow west suburban residents to explore Rush, the Nasharrs said it is easy to be involved in the associates board at a “concierge” level, but members must genuinely care about the institution in order to be effectual.

“It affords us incredible access to the best practitioners in the city,” Maria Nasharr said, “and also affords us a way to reach out into the community.” n

For more information about the Rush Associates Board, visit www.rush.edu/giving-rush/volunteer/rush-associatesboard-giving-rush.

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Hinsdale Magazine | Community Scene

Rush Associates CASINO NIGHT Photography by Daniel Garcia The Rush Associates Board hosted its 11th annual casino night at The Geraghty in Chicago on May 4.

This year’s event will raise funds for the programs and services provided by the Autism Assessment, Research, Treatment and Services (AARTS) Center at Rush University Medical Center.

The evening featured live music, dancing, food and drink, networking, a silent auction and a series of table games, including blackjack, craps and roulette.

Rob Stafford, co-anchor of the WMAQ Ch. 5 evening news, and an oncology patient at Rush, served as event emcee.

Al Wooldrige, Lynn Schaub, Tracy and Brian Frizzell

Hinsdale area supporters of the AARTS (Autism Awareness, Research, Treatment Services) Center at Rush at the Rush Associates Board Casino Night.

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Hinsdale Magazine | Community Scene

The National Charity League ANNUAL TEA

Photography by Daniel Garcia The National Charity League (NCL) Inc. Hinsdale-Clarendon Hills chapter held its annual tea on April 22 at Hinsdale Golf Club in Clarendon Hills.

It is a time-honored tradition of NCL to celebrate chapter accomplishments and award members for philanthropic service.

The chapter collected more than 400 books for donation to the Pillars Head Start program and Willowbrook Corner, while welcoming new members and bidding farewell to its graduating senior class.

In the chapter’s third year, it provided more than 4,000 hours of service, bringing its three-year total to 8,500 hours of service to local philanthropies such as Ronald McDonald House, Family Shelter Services, The Community House and Wellness House.

This all supports the organization’s mission of empowering women for generations through community service, leadership development and cultural experiences.

Graduating class of 2018

New Tick-tockers joining for the 2018-2019 year, representing the classes of 2021, 2022 and 2024

Paige and Kelly McMahon Received the chapter mother-daughter award for serving the most philanthropic hours together in the chapter.

46

Julia and Christie Cashman Julia received the Merci award for most philanthropy service hours in the chapter, Yellow Rose award, mother-daughter award and Heart of Gold award.

Hinsdale60521.com | HINSDALE MAGAZINE, INC.

Olivia and Elizabeth Beargie Olivia received the Modelette award, given to the Tick-tocker who best modeled the three organizational pillars of philanthropic service, leadership and cultural experiences.

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Hinsdale Magazine | Community Scene

Wellness House ANNUAL WALK Photography by Daniel Garcia About 2,800 cancer survivors and their families and friends assembled to support people suffering from cancer at the annual Walk for Wellness House on May 6.

The walk raised more than $600,000 for Wellness House’s non-medical programs for cancer patients and their family members, which it offers at no charge.

Ben Bradley of WGN Ch. 9, a Hinsdale resident, functioned as emcee of pre-walk programming, while Wayne Messmer sang the national anthem prior to the walk, surrounded by an enormous American flag conveyed by multiple trucks from the Hinsdale Fire Department.

For more information about Wellness House and its programs and services, visit www.wellnesshouse.org.

Fifth-grade students at The Lane Elementary School in Hinsdale delivered a heartfelt song in memory of their departed classmate, Brooks Tonn, who died of cancer last year at the age of 10.

Participants raised more than $600,000 through the walk.

Wellness House provides non-medical programs for cancer patients and their families.

Community House WALK FOR AUTISM Photography by Mike Ellis More than 1,200 area residents collaborated to raise a record-setting total of approximately $116,000 for Charlie’s Gift Autism Center through the 11th annual Walk the Walk for Autism at The Community House (TCH) in Hinsdale on April 22.

Walker Elementary School broke its own school fundraising record by generating more than $22,000, while Prospect Elementary School raised about $9,300.

Prospect student Braden Tausk earned the title of top individual fundraiser, securing roughly $5,300.

Bob Agnoli, director of mental health services at TCH, briefly spoke to attendees concerning the Charlie’s Gift Autism Center.

For more information about The Community House, visit www.thecommunityhouse.org.

48

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Emcee Judy Hsu of WLS Ch. 7 poses with Walker Elementary School students and parents.

Judy Hsu speaks at the walk for autism.

More than 1,200 area residents participated in the walk.

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Hinsdale Magazine | Community Scene

Children’s Home + Aid DERBY DAY

Photography by Daniel Garcia Several hundred area residents supported the Hinsdale auxiliary of Children’s Home + Aid (CH + A) at the annual Derby Day gala at Hinsdale Golf Club in Clarendon Hills on May 5.

For the first time in nearly a decade, the party got underway early so that guests could view the Kentucky Derby live on a large projector screen.

Adam and Jen Beringer, Stacy and Rob Johnson and Kim and Mike Burchill

Derby Day functions as the largest annual fundraiser for the auxiliary, which is composed of 22 area women, and is held at various local private golf clubs on a rotating basis.

Addressing an audience of finely-attired guests, auxiliary president Eydie Jarosz thanked attendees for their support of the cause.

After welcoming guest speaker Keith Polan, director of CH + A’s Rice Child + Family Center in Evanston, Jarosz complimented Derby Day chair Natalie Ryan on her “energy, charisma and enthusiasm that made this year’s Derby Day event a huge success,” and introduced emcee Rob Johnson of WBBM Ch. 2.

Eydie Jarosz and Joan Dillon

CH + A has operated since the 1880s, and currently serves more than 40,000 children in above 60 Illinois counties.

For more information about Children’s Home + Aid, visit www.childrenshomeandaid.org.

Joe Hartney, Matt Guido, Steve Berger and Mike Shean

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Hinsdale Magazine | Community Scene

HJWC

IT’S A WRAP Photography by Daniel Garcia Members of the Hinsdale Junior Woman’s Club (HJWC) gathered to celebrate the 2017-18 club year at “It’s a Wrap” at Ruth Lake Country Club in Hinsdale on May 9.

The Hinsdale Junior Woman’s Club raised more than $206,000 during its 2017-18 club year.

During the ceremonial portion of the evening, the final club meeting of the year, it was revealed that the HJWC raised more than $200,000 in 2017-18.

Most of the funds raised were generated through the HJWC’s annual benefit in February, and these will be directed to HCS Family Services.

Outgoing club president Shazia Sultan distributed awards to a number of members, and a group of ladies created a video tribute for Sultan.

Melissa Salo, Christy Hernandez, Shazia Sultan, Emily Ziporin, Julie Langdon and Mistie Lucht

Former HJWC presidents Kirsten Douglass and Megan Hickman conducted the installation ceremony, fixing the new officers in their executive board roles for 2018-19.

Irene Wood of Hinsdale is the new club president, and Jennifer Ashley of Hinsdale is the new first vice president and presidentelect.

Anne Otzen, Megan Brotschul and Rebecca Marinaccio

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Hinsdale Magazine | Community Scene

Hinsdale Historical Society HINSDALE COOKS! KITCHEN WALK Photography by Daniel Garcia Hundreds of ladies from Hinsdale and surrounding communities attended the annual Hinsdale Cooks! Kitchen Walk during the day on May 11.

Julie Sutton, Jill Angelopoulos, Stephanie Brzozowski, Tina Weller and Kim Hoddle

The event is an annual Mother’s Day tradition, featuring six homes spread throughout Hinsdale.

Prior to the event, dozens of ladies who purchased VIP trolley tickets gathered at Fuller House in downtown Hinsdale. These ladies all enjoyed the VIP trolley experience, being shuttled around from house to house in style.

The homes on the walk this year included an historic Victorian home perched on a hill at Garfield and Fifth, as well as the immaculate residence of premier realtor Dawn McKenna.

Proceeds from the Hinsdale Cooks! Kitchen Walk support the Hinsdale Historical Society.

Red trolley

To learn more about the Hinsdale Historical Society, visit www.hinsdalehistory.org.

Chef Paul Virant performed a cooking demonstration at one of the homes on the kitchen walk.

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Purple trolley

Shazia Sultan, Shari Cornies, Kristin Camplese, Megan Arndt and Natalie Pieczkowski

Annette Fryzel, Lisa Radandt, Kirsten Douglass, Laura Glosniak, Tina Weller, Alexis Braden, Melissa Salo, Sarah Vossoughi and Allison Dolph

Dining room

VIP trolley-riders gathered at Fuller House in downtown Hinsdale prior to the kitchen walk.

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Diveheart provides scuba diving opportunities for people of all ages with disabilities.

CHANGE of SCENERY

Photography provided by Diveheart

Hinsdale Magazine | Spotlight

Suburban man leaves media conglomerate to launch scuba-diving organization for disabled individuals

By Mike Ellis

bout this time of the year, it is a frequent resort of commencement speakers, whether decorated or relatively anonymous, to tritely inform graduates that young adults right out of college have a tendency to bounce around from one job to the next, before settling on their career path.

But there is another type of career shifting that, while less common, is no less important in the lives of the individuals that make such maneuvers; and that is the transition from a stable, prosperous career to something more adventurous or risky, generally impelled by a certain passion or interest of the individual. As one might expect, this proverbial rolling of the dice is attended with variable success; but those who effectively

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make the transition are often glad they decided to change course.

Jim Elliott was such an individual, pursuing a successful career at Tribune Co. (WGN Radio) in the city up until 1997.

Having recently played a part in launching CLTV (Chicagoland Television), Elliott was coming off what he described as his best year in the industry, when he abruptly elected to shift gears, and become a scuba instructor for people with disabilities.

Certainly a bit of prefatory information is required to comprehend the impulse for this transition.

Growing up, Elliott visited his father, a disabled veteran, at the Hines VA Hospital in the western suburbs.

“I’ve been around people with disabilities since I was a kid,” he said.

Decades later, disabilities entered his life in a different manner, when his oldest daughter was born blind.

Floyd Brown, a colleague of Elliott’s at WGN Radio, introduced him and his daughter to a downhill skiing program designed for disabled individuals.

In time, Elliott became an instructor, inspired to tackle the challenge in part by marveling at his daughter’s ability to ski, despite not being able to see.

“People with disabilities can really inspire this society,” Elliott said, adding that he served as a ski instructor from the mid-1980s until 2013.

During college, Elliott was introduced to scuba-diving, and it was here that he initially conceived the idea that ultimately led to Diveheart, his non-profit organization dedicated to serving individuals with disabilities.

Elliott said he began scuba-diving with the intent of securing “another arrow in my quiver as a journalist.” “[I] really fell in love with it, because it really is the closest thing to being an astronaut that a human being can experience here on earth,” he said.

When Elliott made the decision to depart from Tribune Co. two decades ago, he said he wanted to leave on a highnote, so that the door would remain open for his return to the industry should his new endeavor fail.

Launching Diveheart in 2001, Elliott has never drawn a salary from his organization, instead relying on investments and the savings he accumulated during his career to cover his personal expenses.

Initially, Elliott said he envisioned Diveheart as beneficial for paraplegics and other individuals suffering from physical disabilities. From the incipient days of the organization, Diveheart has featured a “military wounded” program for disabled veterans, and has since that time conducted programs at Ft. Knox, Ft. Lewis and with Hines VA veterans at the Vaughn Center in Aurora.

“I thought we were going to be a little club,” he said. ... “I thought it would be simple; I thought it would be local. I had no idea we’d be training people all around the world.”

According to Elliott, “anecdotally,” he and other volunteers began to observe utility for individuals with other disabilities, such as autism.

“We know from our autism study that pressure is a therapy for young people with autism,” he said. ... “What going underwater allows someone with autism to do is escape surface-level distractions.”

Elliott said research has indicated that at sufficient depths under water—that is, approximately 66 feet—, autistic individuals can derive benefits from increased serotonin levels.

He described one experience with a Waubonsie Valley High School student on the autism spectrum that was believed to be non-verbal.

Jim Elliott, Diveheart President and Founder

According to Elliott, after the underwater session, the boy, who began the day unruly, said to his teacher, “I really enjoyed that; I think I’d like to try that again.”

Diveheart’s offices are located in the US Bank building on Main Street in Downers Grove, a community in which Elliott has been active for years.

But its programming extends across a much wider vicinage, with Elliott and other instructors working with individuals with both physical and mental disabilities at high-school pools, hotel pools and other underwater venues throughout Chicagoland.

One of the pools Diveheart employs is at Oak Lawn High School, with a maximum depth of 13 feet.

It also has teams of instructors based in south Florida, southern California and Washington, D.C., and is in the process of organizing in Dallas.

Elliott said the depth of the pool isn’t the most significant factor in yielding a productive experience for divers, adding that their primary objective is to get people neutrally buoyant, so “they feel that astronaut moment right away.”

“We don’t push the limits,” he said.

According to Elliott, research indicates that the first pool Continued on the next page

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Hinsdale Magazine | Spotlight Continued from the previous page session is the most important one on average for divers, as they are not accustomed to breathing underwater.

Elliott’s ultimate vision for Diveheart is the construction of a modern, permanent facility with a “revolutionary design,” specially suited for his organization’s purposes.

“It’s going to be the only facility of its kind on the continent; and it’s going to draw people from all over the world,” he said.

Elliott said the facility would feature two pools, the first of which would be shallow, ranging from 3.5 to 20 feet in depth, and situated above ground like an aquarium. The second pool would descend to great depths exceeding 130 feet, which would double as a training environment for scuba-diving professionals, and thus serve as an alternative revenue source for the organization.

“With this facility, we can potentially serve tens of thousands of people, if not hundreds of thousands of people, who have disabilities...and give them this zero-gravity experience,” Elliott said.

Elliott said he is currently looking for a large gift of land and some startup capital to get the ball rolling, after which time Diveheart will conduct fundraisers in order to secure the revenues needed.

“It’s going to be an exciting journey; I’m looking forward to it,” he said. ... “We’re looking for as much help as we can

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get—corporations, individuals, foundations.”

On this project, Diveheart is working with Case Construction, whose handiwork may be noted in the form of the “spire,” or a vacuous cylinder that extends deep beneath the ground, in downtown Chicago. (This physical black hole was originally supposed to serve as the foundation for a towering skyscraper.) Elliott said he has been discussing the concept with the Aurora Rotary Club, and is currently looking at lots in or near Aurora.

“Once we get the land, it’s off to the races,” he said. ...

“This will be a template, and I believe these pools will be built all over the world.”

Elliott’s passion for Diveheart is palpable, and it is clear he has enough ideas and projects to keep him from returning to a media business that he acknowledges has changed dramatically in the 20 years since his departure from Tribune Co. “We’re really excited about where we are, and the growth that has occurred since we incorporated in 2001,” he said. ... “It’s really not about scuba-diving; it’s about taking the unrealized potential that exists in people with disabilities.” n

For more information about Diveheart, visit www.diveheart.org.

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JENNIFER MEEHAN Managing Broker/Principal 312.877.2685 | JEMLUXURY.COM

I CAN DO DISCOVERIES DISCOVER THE YOU THAT CAN DO Diveheart works to build confidence, independence and self-esteem in children, adults and veterans of all abilities through scuba diving, scuba therapy and related activities. Utilizing certified adaptive dive buddies, Diveheart provides safe and inclusive activities for adaptive divers to enjoy the wonders of the aquatic world. Diveheart focuses on abilities not disabilities to instill the can do spirit, it is our hope to inspire participants to take on challenges that before might have seemed impossible.

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Hinsdale Magazine | Insight

Good men #WeToo? We’re living today in the midst of an important uprising of women’s voices in our culture. To an extent that has been invisible or ignored, many women have had experiences of being used or abused by men, and are finally being heard.

It is not only women, of course, who have been at the receiving end of sexual assault or abuses of power. Google “Spacey,” “Sandusky,” “Shanley” or “Swogger” to be reminded that there are men who have some stories, too, and sometimes at the hands of women.

Nonetheless, I’d have to be very tuned-out or in fairly strong denial not to be aware that the predominant problem has been with the way some guys manage their passions. This is a women’s issue and a male problem. If we, as guys, aren’t honest about that, nothing’s likely to change. It won’t be good news for our sisters, daughters or granddaughters.

The problem typically starts in adolescence with talk that subtly and progressively casts women as objects of lust or pleasure. It gets fed by the unprecedented availability of pornographic music and media.

It ramps up in college, where a stunning one in five women experience some form of sexual assault from a fellow student. Add in the influence of power, entitlement or unaddressed intimacy needs, and few guys aren’t at least vulnerable to making mistakes in this zone.

And we do. From counselors and clergy, to newscasters and politicians, to actors and artists, to coaches and doctors, a pattern of failure of respect or self-control seems to permeate every educational strata and vocational sphere. Who of us men looked at Bill Cosby, Charlie Rose or Matt Lauer and thought, “Yeah, that guy’s probably treating women pretty badly.” Yet who of us now wouldn’t say, “Yup, I have some sense of how that could happen.”

Again, not every individual man has a problem in this zone of life, but it is a universal issue. The same sorts of stories are being told by women on every continent in every culture on earth. Theologians would say that it is a problem as old as the Fall, when the first man and woman stopped living as rib-to-rib helpmates, and Adam started to blame Eve for the fact that he hadn’t curbed his appetite (Gen. 3:12).

Has every woman been treated the way being described in today’s headline stories? Thankfully, no. Has every woman talked to other women who can describe a painful or upsetting experience in this area of life. Probably, yes.

So, what do we do?

Step 1: Ask and listen to women Part of the process involves personally grasping the breadth and depth of the phenomenon, and that only happens by asking and listening.

After the events in Ferguson, Missouri a few years back, I asked various African-American friends if they’d ever experienced what

might be called “racism?” The people I asked were well-heeled, highly-educated professionals. Every single one of them went on to tell stories that broke my heart. Some were tales from growing up; others were about encounters that had happened this month.

For most of us men, it is an eye-opener and a heart-breaker when we really start to listen. For me, it has meant fighting past my defenses, my own guilt about the misdeeds of my adolescence, or all the ways I rationalize and excuse certain behaviors. I wonder what we’d learn as men if we went on our own investigative journey.

Step 2: Sponsor further talk among men It’s probably time for more of us men to have honest conversations within the circle of safe brothers about what this whole “MeToo” movement is stirring up in us.

I’m guessing we’re going to talk about what makes us mad about the blanket characterizations we fear are being made. We’re going to describe the anxiety and irritation we feel over all the “rule changes” and “role changes” that make being a man in our age more confusing and complicated than ever before.

But we’re probably also going to do some confessing. We’re going to see some things in our way of thinking, talking or acting that, if changed, can make us more honorable and more influential for good.

Step 3: Cultivate modern-day knights Last week, I buried one of the great men of our church. He wasn’t a perfect guy, but he was an incandescently bright and bold personality.

He helped build one of America’s great businesses, contributed profoundly to the expansion of innumerable charitable institutions, and most of all, invested wisely in the spiritual development of his children and grandchildren.

One of the traditions he established within his family was a coming-of-age ritual. When a male child reached adolescence, a few of the older men in the family took that young one away for the weekend, and formally instructed him in what it meant to be a “modern-day knight.”

The instruction involved the importance of prioritizing living for the good of others over the gain of self. It involved lessons in how to spot and stand up for the vulnerable. It included the call to integrity, courage and self-restraint in matters of lust, anger, power and greed— the internal dragons males must battle successfully if they are to be good men.

During this month, when we honor fathers, let’s give thanks that despite the bad actors out there, there are already a lot of very good men in our families and communities. But let’s also undertake some of the additional steps that may help to assure that, going forward, the world will be filled with even more of them.

DAN MEYER Columnist Dan Meyer is senior pastor of Christ Church Oak Brook.

His additional writings and messages can be found at www.christchurch.tv.

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