Sussex Counselling and Psychotherapy Winter 2016

SUSSEX COUNSELLING AND PSYCHOTHERAPY NEWS WINTER 2016 www.sussex-counselling.co.uk

NEONATAL AND MATERNITY COUNSELLING

IN TRANSLATION: BILINGUAL THERAPY

SPORTS SCIENCE AND THERAPY

NEWS !AND VIEWS, SUSSEX COUNSELLING SEMINAR PROGRAMME, BACP CONFERENCE, ALL ABOUT THE LANDMARK FORUM

Therapy rooms to rent at the Brunswick Clinic, Hove We have both group and individual therapy rooms for rent on an hour-by-hour basis at our clinic in Hove, with two-hours free parking across the road in Tesco’s car park and plenty of on-street parking close-by.

To arrange to come along and view our rooms please call us on 01273 728 888

INSIDE

WELCOME...

4 Fun with TA SCAP seminar review

As we draw to the end of 2016 it’s time to reflect on another busy year in the local counselling/psychotherapeutic world.

Once again Sussex Counselling has organised a series of interesting and educational workshops and seminars and this continues into the New Year. Please have a look at the poster on the back page to see all that we have in store.

In this issue of the magazine we introduce Sally Meyer, the former manager of the Maternity and Neonatal Counselling Service at Sussex County Hospital in Brighton, who talks about setting up the hospital’s maternity and neonatal counselling service, her time there, the changes she instigated and the challenges she faced.

We also find out more about the Landmark Forum, which some have described as a ‘cult’ but SCAP’s Charles Baines believes has been a hugely positive influence on him and his practice.

SCAP’s Eileen Palmer interviews Ben Graves, sports scientist and fitness coach on motivational sports counselling and its parallels with talking therapies.

And Alice Hartmann talks about the challenges of counselling as a bilingual therapist.

We also have reviews of the SCAP TA workshop Fun with Drivers by Katherine Travis and the BACP conference on relationships, which Jan Irwin attended With news, views, book and radio reviews it’s a busy issue.

And don’t forget that in between issues you can keep in touch with us via our social media channels: Facebook and Twitter.

Wishing you all the compliments of the season and a joyous 2017.

5 Scripts, dreams, babies, reality and NLP SCAP Seminars and workshops 8 Maternity and Neonatal Counselling Eileen Palmer on a frontline service 10 BACP Conference SCAP’s Jan Irwin reports 12 Landmark Forum Eileen Palmer talks to Charles Baines on his experiences of the Forum 14 Motivational Sports Counselling Eileen Palmer talks to Ben Graves 16 Reviews 18 Bilingual Counselling Alice Hartmann 20 Diary

Astrid

Winter 2016 Sussex Counselling and Psychotherapy (SCAP) News is the quarterly magazine for counsellors and psychotherapists working in and around Sussex who are registered members of SCAP. Sussex Counselling and Psychotherapy News is the official journal of Sussex Counselling and Psychotherapy. Views expressed in the journal and signed by a writer are the views of the writer and not necessarily those of Sussex Counselling and Psychotherapy. Publication in this journal does not imply endorsement of the writer’s views. Similarly publication of adverts does not constitute endorsement by Sussex Counselling and Psychotherapy.

Contributions are welcome with a £20 book voucher for original material. Please email items for news, diary, feature or review to newsletter@sussex-counselling.co.uk Deadline: Monday 23 January for Spring 2017 issue.

Advertise in SCAP Newsletter Full page colour £80, B&W £78. Half page colour £55, B&W, £48.

Quarter page – £36.

Contact: advertising@sussex-counselling.co.uk or visit www.sussex-counselling.co.uk to book online.

4 Fun with transactional analysis Katherine Travis reviews a SCAP TA workshop I cycled enthusiastically through Brighton to a morning of CPD hoping to ‘discover my drivers’ in the Fun with Transactional Analysis seminar in October, held at Brighton Junction.

The seminar was presented by Sussex Counselling, with the experienced Jeanie Civil leading the session. I had very brief experience of TA from my training as an integrative psychotherapist, but had always been curious to understand more about ‘drivers’ and adult/parent and child ego states and how these might be helpful tools working with clients.

From the outset it was clear that Jeanie is a skilled trainer who welcomed us to the seminar, and engaged participants with humour whilst sharing her experience of working with TA. Attendees were drawn from those with experience of using TA in their practice to newly qualified therapists, all from different theoretical backgrounds.

We were given a training pack, summarising how to recognise different ego states such as Critical parent, Adult and Child, and identifying ‘drivers’. These psychological drivers were described as ‘talking monkeys,’ which can affect the way we deal with people, influence the way we behave, think and feel.

Drivers include ‘be strong’, ‘be perfect’, ‘try harder,’ ‘please people’ and ‘hurry up’.

A questionnaire helped us identify our own drivers and I learned from this that I have a strong ‘hurry up’ driver, which can mean everything is done in a rush, and I’m often moving from one thing to another very quickly!

I left the seminar feeling energised and enthused to incorporate what I’d learned in my client work, having gained a broad overview of TA from this excellent seminar as a valuable addition to my therapy toolbox.

Katherine Travis is a counsellor and psychotherapist.

Psychological Society’s best book awards The British Psychological Society Book Awards has announced it awards in four catergories.

The awards were made in academic monograph, popular science, practitioner text and textbook.

Professor Daryl O’Connor, Chair of the BPS Research

Board, said: “The number, the breadth and standard of submissions were incredibly impressive.”

You can find the list of books shortlisted in each category at: www.bps.org.uk/news/society -honour-years-best-psycholo gy-books

Pilot online CPD New packages from BACP are an excellent way to get low cost, quality continual professional development (CPD) from the comfort of your home or office.

Each package offers: A collection of comprehensive learning programmes, combining recordings from BACP CPD days with mini e-learning modules This pilot platform offers a taste of what is to come as BACP develops a larger online platform due to launch in July 2017.

Getting started in private practice will guide you through preparing for, setting up and marketing your private practice. It includes three learning programmes and three video presentations recorded live at BACP conferences.

Content: Approx 18 hours Price: £25 for BACP members, £50 for non-members The working with addiction and bereavement package includes expert presentations focussing on the topics of addiction and bereavement, including two learning programmes and three video presentations recorded live at BACP conferences.

Content: Approx 13 hours Price: £25 for BACP members, £50.

Details: www.bacp.co.uk/learning/pi lot_platform/?platform=ho otsuite

SUSSEX COUNSELLING NEWS

Seminar programme features a range of specialisms Dreams, babies and NLP on SCAP agenda Sussex Counselling’s successful programme of seminars continues into the Autumn and New Year so now is the time to mark your diaries and book a place.

On November 12, psychotherapist Sally McLaren will run her seminar on Birds, Bees and Babies - what babies have to teach us.

Sally, a psychotherapist Postgraduate Diploma in Counselling from Sussex University, is training with WPF Therapy in London in order to qualify as a Psychoanalytic Psychotherapist. She has a particular interest in the work

and ideas of Swiss psychiatrist and psychotherapist Carl Gustav Jung.

The first SCAP seminar of the new year takes place on January 14, 2017 with a focus on NLP. NLP is a set of beliefs, attitudes, and skills that enable people to achieve more than they could previously conceive.

It uses specific applications based on language and communication to promote wellbeing.

During this SCAP introductory session Kate Benson aims to share an understanding of the basic

principles of NLP, create positive states to make better decisions and explore a model for getting to the core of an issue quickly.

Participants will also learn the basics of a language model for changing unhelpful beliefs with clients as well as have fun learning new ways of thinking and reducing their own stress levels.

On 25 February a seminar on dreams, considered the ‘royal road to the unconscious’ will invite participants to work on one of their own dreams and move on to look at how we use dreams to enhance the therapeutic process.

Brenda Mallon will introduce you to a variety of techniques that will build both your understanding of the power of dreams and increase your confidence.

Brenda is the author of 17 books, including The Dream Bible, translated into 12 languages and Dreams, Counselling and Healing.

She presented In Your Dreams (Channel 4), where she interviewed a number of celebrities, including Toyah Wilcox, Robin Gibbs and James Hewitt, who revealed how dreams influenced their lives and creativity.

Book your place on these seminars at www.sussex-counselling.co.uk.

6

Adopted children symposium Latest research on improved outcomes A symposium featuring the latest research to improve the outcomes of adopted children and their families takes place at the University of Sussex on Tuesday 15 November.

Aimed at policy makers, national and local government, charities, and social care practitioners the symposium will review the very latest research examining family relationship processes and child and adolescent mental health outcomes, with a core focus on highlighting recent practice and policy developments in this area.

Hosted by Gordon Harold, Professor of Psychology and Director of the Rudd Centre for Adoption Research and Practice, the one-day event will feature a broad range of speakers and presenters from

the fields of child development, adoption, family policy, child and family law, education and social work.

Places can be reserved at http://alumni.sussex.ac.uk/r udd-centre-symposium.

The news comes not long after Prof Harold’s appointment as Specialist Advisor to the Early Intervention Foundation (EIF) on family relationships, mental health and intervention programme development.

The role is linked to specific topics of UK Government policy interest in the areas of family relationship support and youth mental health and represents the first phase of a wider programme of research and policy related activity plan.

Join the SCAP community on social media Don’t forget to keep up with Sussex Counselling and Psychotherapy between issues of this quarterly magazine via our website and social media?

Members receive e-newsletters between issues to keep them up to date with events. As well as checking our website for updates, remember that using Twitter and Facebook is a quick and easy way to keep in touch, share your news, give your opinion, educate others, and really connect to our SCAP community.

Find our Facebook page at www.facebook.com/SussexCounsellingAndPsychotherapy There are lots of interesting posts which you’re welcome to comment on and you can post some of your own therapy-related information too if you wish.

For Twitter, find us at https://twitter.com/SussexCAP.

Student survey Psychologists at Sussex University are recruiting international students for an important study looking at different aspects of life in the UK and the factors which lead to a successful student experience.

The research project, led

by Dr Matt Easterbrook in collaboration with the Students’ Union and International Student Support, will investigate how the friendship networks, cultural engagement and language skills of international students affect their well-being and academic performance. “We know from previous research that international students who engage with British culture have a better student support networks, cultural familiarity and language competencies they develop,” he explained.

“This study will take it a step further and will determine which factors are most strongly predictive of international students’ well-being and engagement, and will also evaluate the impact of actitives offered at Sussex by the Students’ Union (USSU) and International Student Support (ISS), for example, the Buddy Scheme, weekly language café and day trips.”

NEWS & VIEWS

The emotional body Inaugural lecture on distress and pain A free lecture on the emotional body: distress and pain in health and illness will be delivered by Professor Gillian Bendelow at Sussex University on December 1.

Professor Bendelow is a sociologist of health and medicine, whose research has addressed the complex relationship between emotion, health and illness.

Her work is influenced by Hochschild’s social theory of emotions as being biologically generated, but shaped and managed socially, hence providing the essential link, not just between mind and body, but across mind body and society.

Her doctoral research initiated sociocultural approaches to clinical and academic understandings of pain, presented and published in many formats, including her book Pain and Gender (Pearson Education 2000).

These insights have been used to address other complex conditions such as chronic illness, medically unexplained symptoms, stress and mental

illness in her empirical research and publications.

She was awarded a Senior Research Fellowship from the British Academy to work in collaboration with Sussex Police and Sussex Partnership Mental Health Trust to examine the extraordinarily high rates of police detentions of highly distressed and mentally ill individuals detained under Section 136 of the Mental Health Act 1983 from the seaside cliffs, highways, railways and othe public places across Sussex and the South Coast.

This programme of research is ongoing in the School of Applied Social Science.

The lecture takes place on Thursday 1 December 2016 at 6.30 pm. at the Asa Briggs Lecture Theatre, Checkland Building, Falmer.

Free event. All are welcome.

If you would like to attend please register online at www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/theemotional-body-distress-and -pain-in-health-and-illness-t ickets-27756201546?aff=es2 no later than 48 hours prior to the event.

Getting the best out of supervision Mark Head from the Link Centre in Sussex talked about Making the most of Supervision at an online events live talk.

Read the transcript of Mark’s speech at: www.onlinevents.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/Transcript-Mak ing-the-most-of-Supervision-–-Mark-Head.pdf

Youth and barriers conference BACP’s online children and young people’s conference 2016 in November will focus on self and identity: breaking down barriers for inclusion.

The webcast will explore how children and young people's background and diverse experiences shape their identity and sense of self.

The live webcast will take place on Saturday 12 November 2016. The on-demand service will be available from Friday 18 November - Monday 19 December 2016 inclusive.

Speakers include John McMullen on Complex Trauma and Child Soldiers, Beverley Costa on Multilingual clients are different from monolingual clients, Myira Khan on Working with Muslim children and young people, Edith Bell on Diverse Development, Raymi Doyle pm The dissociated self and autism and Mike Shooter whose presentation is entitled I didn’t think you’d be interested in me.

Details and to book at www.bacp.co.uk/webinar/

8

Maternity and neonatal counselling Eileen Palmer talks to Sally Meyer on her role in hospital counselling Sally Meyer was manager of the Maternity and Neonatal Counselling Service at Sussex County Hospital in Brighton.

She began working at the hospital 12 years ago, setting up the maternity and neonatal counselling service, then spending two days a week as an integrative therapist, trainer and manager. She reflects on her time there, of the changes she instigated and the challenges she faced.

Q How did you manage the service?

A I set up a counselling service using short term therapy of six sessions, sometimes a few more for individuals or couples. The individuals could be the mother or the father, although it was usually the mothers that I saw. People were referred to me from their doctor, from any of the hospital staff such as midwives, nurses, consultants, health visitors, or they could refer themselves. They tended to be referred for still births, neonatal deaths, IUD (in vitro uterine death), terminations for abnormality as well as babies who were born prematurely, were ill or had genetic conditions.

Q How much did you liaise with medics and other staff?

A I made sure I was a visible presence as much as I

could. I’d walk around the wards, chatting to patients and staff explaining my role to them. Sometimes I’d be just talking at a mother’s bedside and other mothers would come to me asking for help too.

Q I can only imagine the depth of the grief you encountered.

A I did a lot of grief work with clients. This was a very important aspect of the work.

I found that couples grieve differently. Margaret Stroebe,

I also worked at the Trevor Mann Baby unit, where one of my roles was as a trainer to medical staff. I was eager to educate them and teach them how to communicate with grief stricken people.

an academic in grief studies, found that men and women do tend to grieve differently.

Men are restoration orientated and will often move away from reminders of the loss; they may get a new job, change social groups, or stop

MATERNITY AND NEONATAL COUNSELLING

going out, whereas women tend to be loss orientated; they want to work through the memories and feelings of the loss. These differences can cause tension within their relationships. This was much of the couples work I did there.

I would talk of the ‘tasks of grieving’, not ‘stages’. My clients told me their grief felt like tasks, so hard and painful.

Many people choose to see and hold their baby these days, but when I first started that would never happen.

Seeing the baby after s/he has died is a natural way to say goodbye; it’s much better now this happens.

Q As an integrative Arts Therapist, how would you work with clients?

A I used lots of images for grief. For example, I would talk of a flood covering the landscape so there are no landmarks anywhere.

Gradually the water reduces and the tops of buildings become visible, then other objects such at tree tops, hills and large monuments.

Eventually the water all goes underground and the landscape is restored – but the water is always there. I’d also talk of a waterfall, as if sailing up to it in a boat, then plummeting down. Another metaphor I’d use is that grief is like an ambush; being ambushed by grief.

I used art images, sand, water. I’d especially use

figures to represent traumatic births, enabling the client to project onto staff or friends as ‘monsters’, ‘angels’ and other archetypes.

Much of the work involved calming and soothing. I’d learn what would help each individual. I found that people often had huge anxieties around health and the health of others. Their whole world had become unsafe and they often had a general fear of life being unsafe.

Q Twelve years is a long time to work in this role.

What changes did you notice?

A I ensured there was easier access to the service, that people knew it was there, and knew of the type of work we did. I encouraged liaison between myself and clinical psychologists, nurses, midwives, doctors and consultants. We began operating as a team much more. I encouraged further training for all staff and became an EMDR therapist myself.

Q What personal qualities does a counsellor need to work in this challenging area?

A The skills needed involve resilience and a willingness to work in a hospital context.

Then being able to stay with the knowledge that you can’t make it any better, staying with trauma and grief without expectations of ‘recovery’.

A counsellor would absolutely have to be trauma trained and bereavement trained. Of course good communication skills are necessary to talk with medical staff and patients. Lastly, a counsellor who is willing to simply listen.

Q Are there any other such services available that people can access?

A Yes, the patients can now ask to talk through their medical notes with the midwife so that confusing aspects can be explained.

This is called ‘Birth stories’.

There’s also Sands, an external organisation to help people dealing with sudden infant and baby deaths. They have fundraising events such as coffee mornings and social activities as well as counselling and support.

And the Early Birth Association provides help and support to those whose babies are born prematurely.

Sands stillbirth and neonatal death charity www.uk-sands.org The early birth association http://earlybirth.co.uk Eileen Palmer is a psychologist and psychotherapist and taught counselling courses in FE as well as providing counselling training with various organisations in Sussex

10

BACP asks why do we bother with relationships?

Jan Irwin attended the annual conference in the Autumn This was the third BACP conference I have attended and was, once again, well organised, with high calibre speakers.

Thanks to the joys of Southern Railway, I arrived after the first speaker Mary Morgan from the Tavistock Clinic had started!

Fortunately her presentation What is it we are doing in Relationships? will appear as an article in the December 2016 issue of Therapy Today.

After coffee the 250 delegates split up for seminars.

I chose Working Safely with Domestic Abuse with Gary Williams. Gary was a police officer for many years and now works as a therapist and educator.

He challenged us to ask ourselves ‘What risk model do I use?’ He also suggested that we add; ‘have you ever experienced domestic abuse?’ to our standard assessment protocols.

After lunch, Julia Greer used clips from the TV series The Affair to illustrate separation, mourning, and openness to change in relationship breakdown.

Research suggests that most children feel a pervasive sadness after their parents separate. Most survive well-enough in the long-term, but a significant minority (25%) do not thrive. How can

parents help their children through and beyond divorce?

Contact with both parents, a reduction in both overt and covert conflict, resilience in the resident parent, and as few transitions as possible, seem to be key.

Following that Anne Power made an excellent presentation on how therapy can help clients make different relationship choices.

She said a good-enough adult pair bond contains the capacity for intimacy, capacity for boundaries, and capacity for conflict and repair. A good-enough fit

‘Once we love ourselves, people no longer look good to us unless they are good for us.’ between care-giving and care-seeking styles was also important.

Anne quoted Richo (2002): “Once we love ourselves, people no longer look good to us unless they are good for us.”

Our role in couple (or individual) therapy is to foster the client’s sense of curiosity through the use of ours, and to observe the process and reflect it back, helping the

client mourn the idealised relationship.

Finally, Emmy Van Deurzen gave a memorable keynote address on Love in Relationship. She sees the idealisation of romantic love as the enemy.

Love is not just a feeling, but an attitude, an action, a movement towards, a way of being.

A truer teacher of love teaches conflict resolution, through dialogue, listening, co-operation and gratitude.

Emmy suggests her client couples take half an hour each day to communicate, but before that to have half an hour of their own space, so that they come to the couple time more lovingly.

These themes are explored in Emmy’s 2013 book, Existential Perspectives on Relationship Therapy.

It was a packed day. This time the food was unusually good as well!

It was also therapeutically nutritious, and good value for a London CPD event.

Jan Irwin is a counsellor and a member of the Sussex Counselling and Psychotherapy Committee

SUSSEX COUNSELLING SEMINAR

12

What the Landmark Forum did for me Eileen Palmer asks SCAP’s Charles Baines about his experience The Landmark Forum has been criticised for being money-making, called a cult, described as a harming deconstruction of one’s identity and an arena for hard-selling courses to friends and families.

SCAP’s Charles Baines attended the Landmark Forum over 10 years ago so who better to ask about it?

Q Charles, I’ve known you for a long time. I remember you attending the Landmark Forum and noticing changes in you afterwards. What did you think of the three day course?

A Looking back I think it’s the best personal development course I’ve ever done in my life. It had an immediate impact on my being, I felt more energetic, more productive and happier.

In those three days I made some important insights about myself and also altered my perception of the world. I saw that I had made many negative interpretations of events in my life that were not helpful. Unhelpful thinking habits if you like. The Forum helped me to become a more confident and resilient person, and that has helped me in my life and also in my counselling work, which often requires me to be resilient.

Q What can you tell me about the three days? What happens?

A We all assembled in a room and prepared to listen to the rules. We were all there to be empowered to do what we wanted with our lives.

There’s a fixed syllabus and one Forum leader who takes the whole three days. The rules demand strict timing, no substance misuse, attendance of all sessions, and the usual therapeutic ones of confidentiality, creation of a safe place, empathy and so on.

Self-discipline is advocated and keeping to the rules of the course is very strict. Some people get angry about the rules and one or two people leave the course at that point.

One of the main ideas of the courses is to ‘be your word’ because if you can be your word and keep your promises, your life works better. It’s such a simple thing and it sounds obvious, but on the course I saw many areas in my life where I wasn’t being my word and the mess it created!

‘Being your word’ is an important phrase and we were taken back to it all the time. It helps us to look at our integrity.

Q Can you explain a bit more about ‘being your

word’? Did Landmark use any other catchphrases?

A Yes, there were a few of them. One of the messages on the course was that when there was a good reason for not ‘being your word’ you must ‘clear it up’. ‘Clear it up’ was another phrase – meaning make good, be responsible if you don’t deliver what you promised, either to your self or to others.

Another concept was ‘running a racket’. A racket is a persistent complaint we have about life and often we don’t do anything about it.

We might spend ages complaining rather than doing what we need. That’s ‘a racket’. We were encouraged to look at the ‘payoffs’ and the ‘costs’ of ‘the racket’. For example, I was always feeling tired and I didn’t do things because I was tired. I was always complaining about being tired. This was my racket. After the course I stopped complaining, started doing more things with intention. I discovered I didn’t feel tired at all.

Q What else did you find useful? What are ‘distinctions’?

A The word ‘distinction’ covered the phrases which were the fabric of the weekend. ‘strong suit’ was another ‘distinction’. This is something you do to give you

LANDMARK FORUM

an advantage in life. For example, I was always trying to be nice so people would like me. It was my ‘strong suit’ but it didn’t always work and nor was it satisfying for me. It wasn’t really me. This was a useful learning.

Even though the three days ran from 9 am to 10 pm at night and were extremely hard work I found the format of the course very useful because we had no time to avoid ourselves. Even at lunchtime we were given homework to work on in groups. There were two microphones in the room and we were encouraged to stand up and speak about our rackets and our insights. I did some sharing and I’d never have thought I’d have done that before the course.

There was some similarity with CBT and psychodynamic theory in analysing the way we interpreted our lives. We were encouraged to change our perspectives on unhelpful interpretations.

Q It sounds like the course worked well for you.

What does it lead on to if someone wanted to progress further?

A Along with the three days you get 10 session seminars after the course, one a week in the evening, to go over the course more slowly. In these

seminars you begin to support each other in putting changes into place for yourself. It’s called Forum on Action. After that there are more seminars if you want to do more on subjects such as money, relationships, living life powerfully, quite a list.

Q It sounds like you focussed on the content of the course rather than consider the criticisms from certain sources.

A Yes, I was interested in and changed by the content. I understood the Forum was taken from Werner Erhard who invented it. He had created it from lots of sources – from Zen Buddhism, humanistic theory and philosophy. The course derives from a philosophical standpoint. Ontologically, ‘what is it to be a human being?’ We had much discussion on this and this was important to me.

Landmark keeps the prices low to bring it to as many people as possible and there’s quite a focus on this.

Some people say Landmark is a cult. Maybe because people get very enthusiastic about the course and are keen for their friends and family to do the course as well. But I definitely don’t think it’s a cult, and I wouldn’t be talking so positively about it if I thought it was.

How the Landmark Forum works Landmark is quite open about its courses, what is expected of a participant and how intense the weekends usually become.

Briefly, 150 people are together in a large room for three consecutive days, keeping set rules and guidance, in which they talk about, think about, listen to what it is to be themselves and what it is to be human.

They are encouraged to critique their patterns of behaviour, to rethink what is meaningful to them in life.

The idea is that people will form new meanings and realise new perspectives on their lives, in this way changing themselves without instruction from a leader or therapist. From within.

The cost for the weekend is a few hundred pounds. www.landmarkworldw ide.com

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The psychology behind sports science Eileen Palmer talks to Ben Graves, sports scientist and fitness coach, on motivational sports counselling and its parallels with talking therapies The rise of sports science and sports psychology degree courses over the last 10 years has been in response to a cultural shift, seeking to understand the connection between well-being and physical fitness.

Ben Graves, sports scientist and fitness coach, has an approach to physical training which mirrors much of the work of CBT talking therapies.

Ben became a manager and trainer at gyms in Brighton before moving to Dubai to manage a high-end ‘no equipment’ gym.

“Sports psychology was a third of my degree alongside physiology and biomechanics. I was drawn to the psychology side and focussed my study in this area,” he explains.

“We learnt to assess personality types and what would work for a client depending on their type. We studied internal and external cognitions, revealing those cognitions to the client, trying to remove negative ones or improving positive ones.

“I’m interested in clients’ self beliefs, including the influences of exercising for plaudits as opposed to exercising for oneself. I took a course in Neuro-Linguistic-Programmi ng as I’d recognised the

importance of visualisations as internal skills. I developed the use of the five senses to improve clients’ performances. ” Ben says GPs can refer people to him who’ve been ill or have disabilities, have psychological distress, or are recovering post operative clients, all of which can cause low mood and inertia.

“I put safeguards in place after liaison with the GP and clients. Other people come to see me on the suggestion of friends or family, or refer themselves. I explain how

willpower was the key to unlocking progress.

“Getting a change of mind was definitely the most important step.

I also watch out for resistance to success, try to identify the secondary gains from resistance and explain them to the client. This offers the client the opportunity to challenge their resistance and develop new ways of thinking about being successful.

“The most important factor for creating change is mindset. If a client can recognise their mindset isn’t

‘Resistance to success is the most challenging aspect to overcome in clients, says Ben. “People won’t follow a nutritional plan, they may under-exercise or over-exercise. I try to find little victories out of whatever a client has done’ fitness is a continuing trend and we build an exercise routine suitable to the client’s level.

“As the client improves the routine adapts accordingly.

I’m alert to changes in mood, to intention and expectations.

I work carefully with the client, monitoring mood changes as a consequence of changing cognitions as well as changing exercise routines.”

Bex explains that he quickly realised that people’s

helping them then we can move forward confidently towards a desired outcome.

Exercise is only a part of the whole sports counselling approach. I try very hard to prevent exercise causing a stress response in clients. I want them to approach exercise as a pleasant, do-able activity.

“I often use a stealth approach where I address exercise differently to the ways the clients negative thinking might be working. I give ‘frameworks’ to clients,

SPORTS SCIENCE AND PSYCHOLOGY

where they follow a programme that isn’t too complicated and in which they are sure to succeed.

Using NLP, I include lots of encouraging phrases and imagery to stimulate their imagination and belief in personal success.”

Ben also trains people in a mindfulness way of exercising, where they are present in the moment, simply an observer of how things are.

Resistance to success is the most challenging aspect to overcome in clients, he says.

“People won’t follow a nutritional plan, they may under-exercise or over-exercise. I try to find little victories out of whatever a client has or hasn’t done; if they haven’t achieved a goal they will have done something. I reinforce the good things that have happened.

Sometimes I get a client to sign a contract with me to say they are going to try this or that. I see any step towards fulfilling the contract as a success.”

Ben adds that fitness is not something you ‘do’. It’s a way of life. Far too often people think fitness is about all or nothing. There’s no need to put your body under stress to get fit.

“If you get a stress response that can be

counter-productive to our aims. The fitness routine people choose has to be manageable for the rest of the person’s life. I see the opposite happening all the time – the ‘weekend warrior’ type of person who hammers his body at the weekend before returning to his desk job the other five days of the week. This type of training can be wrong.

Most people these days are what I call ‘desk athletes’ – experts at sitting at a desk working, for hours a day.

“We can be fairly sure they aren’t producing much by the way of endorphins, brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF) or serotonin.

They have to take exercise slowly, gradually. It’s a much easier way to get fit than smashing yourself and overdoing it. You can get just as fit with a gentle approach.”

‘I’m alert to changes in mood, to intention and expectations. I work carefully with the client, monitoring mood changes as a consequence of changing cognitions as well as changing exercise routines’

The science behind exercise Julie Warren, writing in livestrong.com, a website dedicated to excellence in fitness, explains how mood enhancement happens after exercise: “Endorphins are released by the pituitary gland in the brain during sustained, vigorous exercise.

Endorphins decrease stress, create euphoric feelings, decreased appetite and improved immune response….

Serotonin is another neurochemical released during exercise. Serotonin is a natural mood enhancer. Brain-derived neurotrophic factor, known as BDNF, is a neurotransmitter also found to be released into the brain in response to exercise. This chemical has been shown to help reduce the symptoms of depression.

The number of positive emotional effects gained from regular exercise include improved self-esteem, enhanced mood, better memory and mental functioning, and decreased stress.”

16

An everyday tale of domestic violence Jeanie Civil on the harrowing storyline and murder trial in The Archers The domestic violence storyline in BBC Radio Four’s The Archers is an everyday story of country folk? But it isn’t, is it? It’s a story of so many women, from town, hamlet, village, religious community or inner-city.

For anyone not following the story, the nation has been gripped by the plot of Helen and her young son Henry becoming entrapped in a relationship with an abusive, controlling husband, Rob, culminating in her stabbing him in an attempt to protect her son and finding herself in court charged with attempted murder.

It’s no surprise that relationships alter: they do.

However, not so insidiously as from those early, loving beginnings when Helen got together with Rob. Many therapists will have worked with women who have been abused both mentally and or physically. As I listened I found myself remembering many clients, revealing so much mental harm that they had suffered.

It was so well written. Like so many other therapists and listeners, some of the episodes left me questioning the many story endings. As in counselling, we have many bits of the jigsaw before we are able to acquire a fuller picture.

When I am working with clients I suspend several

questions hoping that they will give me the answers without my questioning them.

Depending on your training, knowledge and expertise of a particular approach or theory, many of you will have empathised with some of the questions running through my mind as I became enveloped in the drama.

You may recognise some of my training (‘what’ and ‘how’ questions not ‘why’). What had transpired with Rob’s previous wife? Had she rejected him; maybe he had had to handle devastating rejection by her as she left him for his best friend? This is a story I’ve often heard over my decades of counselling, from both men and women.

What were his true concerns for his desire to wish Helen to give up working in the shop?

It felt a bit like the start of his wish to control her and his need to know where she was and to whom she was relating.

My TA thinking was revealed as I listened to the normative words he used of ‘should’ and ‘ought’; his critical parent ego state.

What was his real motive behind his supposedly, casually mentioning to Helen about her cousin Adam's illicit kiss? Was it deeply ingrained homophobia or was it, again, jealousy and his need to posses her?

I felt angry as so many relations, friends and

neighbours were taken in by his smooth, phoney interactions (my Gestalt viewpoint of phoney rather than genuine behaviour popping up).

As a therapist, I know that feelings are facts. I am recalling a client describing her abusive partner ‘pub angel, house devil.’

And did Rob really want to be a positive stepfather or was it another lever to split the most precious relationship Helen had - that of loving her son?

Rob’s constant nibbling away at Helen’s self worth resulted in her believing that there was something wrong with her until she was finally able to meet and address his ex wife, Jess. She discovered that when she was married to Rob, Jess had also experienced his bullying, controlling, aggressive attitudes and behaviour.

Then came the trial and my thoughts of the classic film Twelve Angry Men stayed with me throughout as I recalled how brilliantly the film demonstrated how we make our decisions on our value systems and life experiences. In the film only one man voted not guilty; by the end, all 12 agreed. This change of attitude happened as each one recounted their own traumatic experiences, which then resulted in their realisation of their projection

REVIEWS

of their values onto the accused. The same format was played out in Helen’s trial.

What a relief that she was found not guilty.

What remains with me mostly is the anger I feel at how Rob tried to influence hate in Henry towards his mother, as so many separated couples do to their children.

I’m also angered at the repeated rapes Helen had to suffer.

My other sadness has been in talking with women, who thought that the story was far-fetched and couldn’t possibly happen! ‘No woman would put up with that, she would just have left him taking her son with her,’ I am told.

But women do stay; they rationalise that it would disturb their children too much and are unable to support themselves. They think that it isn’t bad all the time and their children would be devastated if dad wasn’t there.

So often the woman has such little self love that she believes that this is all she deserves. Now we have a new law recognising how being mentally abused can damage a person (see right). And, finally let us remember domestic violence also happens to men.

Jeanie Civil is a counsellor and former tutor in a women’s prison.

The new coercive control offence, which carries a maximum penalty of five years’ imprisonment and a fine, can be invoked if a victim suffers serious alarm or distress that impacts on their day-to-day activities.

Rise freedom from domestic abuse is a national award winning charity providing sanctuary and support in Sussex. www.riseuk.org.uk

Tracking trauma from generation to generation It didn’t start with you Mark Wolynn This book is an interesting read, combining case studies, and drawing on burgeoning research evidence to argue that trauma can be passed down through generations. It also offers self help tools for ‘how to end the cycle.’

The author suggests that issues such as depression and anxiety; “may reside not in our immediate life experience or in chemical imbalance in our brains, but in the lives of our parents, grandparents/great-grandpare nts.”

Wolynn suggests that by identifying core issues and the language we use to describe them, we can trace back to ancestral issues rooted in traumas, such as abandonment, detachment from the mother, deaths of a parent etc. The author’s examples include grandchildren of Holocaust survivors, children of 9/11 survivors and the generations that followed the Rwandan genocide. In each case, there were ‘core complaints ‘and ‘core language’ that traced back to the trauma experienced by an ancestor.

Some of the underlying ideas in the first part of this book are compelling as an introduction to epigenetic research, and raise some interesting points for discussion. The second half focuses on self-diagnosis and ‘treatment’ where Wolynn describes his ‘Core Language’ therapeutic approach, using tools such as genograms and written exercises. KT Katherine Travis is a counsellor and psychotherapist

18

Counselling in other words Alice Hartmann on working with clients with a different language ‘Initially I became conscious of myself through others, it is from them that I receive the words, the shapes and tonality that constitute the first image that I have of myself’ Tzvetan Todorov (1981).¹ A central kernel of psychotherapy is that the gradual process of transformation in the client is mostly taking place non-verbally as part of a good enough therapeutic relationship.

Paradoxically research² shows that an important idea around the interactivity between emotional life and

In this context emotional depth encompasses both the symbolic and metaphorical linguistic landscape, as well as the prosody, pauses and rhythm of each particular language. In other words the way we learn sounds, rhythm and words, the way we feel and embody that language is affected by the relationship within which that language was learnt.

With more than one language at birth or acquired later, the repetition of interpersonal experiences within the different languages acts as an organiser of the self, resulting over time in the

words is that emotions are language specific: the ‘mother tongue’ is the container of emotional depth. Infant observation describes how the vocal and language-based dimension in the embodiment of traumatic experience originates within the multifaceted mother/baby dyad³.

development of multiple selves within the individual in each language.

This means that when a language is learnt at a profound level, interactions taking place within it gradually become integrated into the self. With two languages or more It is known as the linguistic

phenomenon of ‘language independence’ — the simultaneous access into, and proficient use of the brain’s two (or more) separate linguistic systems.

Therapists training and working in another language, as well as people immersing themselves into a new language and a culture could be said to construct or reconstruct a ‘self’ in that language. It is as if a ‘self’ is superimposed onto a ‘self’ as a distancing occurs from the original language.

Additionally what was split off in the first language can remain split off in the second, or third. So a distance from the original representations is being kept. However, sensations and emotions linked to relational experiences in one language can also be reorganised in another later in life. In fact for some people that distance from the mother tongue is precisely what allows them to safely explore their losses and start to mourn.

The regressive aspect to learning a new language and incorporating a new culture is an important part of the reorganisation. It can feel like starting all over again: for example, it has its own particular struggles in groups and its meaningful silences when the learner is immensely processing the whole of the experience. In that regressive place, and specifically in the context of a

BILINGUAL COUNSELLING

good alliance with an attuned therapist, the mourning of the primary relationships can take place and the incorporation of new reparative objects can happen in the second language. It can be a painful experience but some hope and resilience are involved in this very active process: “One’s own language, the mother tongue, never becomes so invested with libido as when one lives in a foreign country with a different language. All the experiences of infancy, memories and feelings related to the first object relations are bound up in the new experience and saturate it with special meaning.”

Grinberg and Grinberg (1984) Unbearable states that have been split off, or avoided in the mother tongue, can sometimes be recognised within the use and tone of the second language in therapy.

For example a therapist working with clients from a different country and whose English has been acquired later in life, may find that words sound flat, they sound somewhat not alive, although

understood well, they do not sound right.

Another consideration is when the flow of words is fast, that there is much intellectualisation, and not much emotionality in the second language. The therapist may have a sense that the client may be thinking about the issue rather than being emotionally connected with it. Or the therapist themselves might feel that they are struggling for words, corresponding to a sense that there are words missing in the client’s first language.

These embodied experiences can take place within any therapeutic relationships but they can be helpful signposts of affects lost in translation, and therefore be gently explored with the client. Certainly these perceptions may add to what the therapist is already attuned to in the developmental trauma of their client.

Alice Hartmann is a bilingual psychotherapist trained at The Minster Centre

Therapists training and working in another language, as well as people immersing themselves into a new language and a culture could be said to construct or reconstruct a ‘self’ in that language.

It is as if a ‘self’ is superimposed onto a ‘self’ as a distancing occurs from the original language.

References 1.Todorov, T. Mikhail Bakhtine, Le principe dialogique, p148, In Language et Courants Sexuels (2010), p166.

Association Psychanalytique de France, Presses Universitaires de France. Personal translation of a quote by Todorov in this book 2.Pavlenko, A. Emotions in Multilingualism (2005). Cambridge and University Press 3. Brazelton, T.B. And Cramer, B.G.(1990) The Earliest Relationship. Da Capo Press 4. Grinberg,L. and Grinberg,R. (1984), A psychoanalytic study of migration: its normal and psychopathological aspects. In Jounal of the American Psychoanalytical Association, 1984, 32:13-38

20 SUSSEX COUNSELLING SEMINAR

SUSSEX COUNSELLING WORKSHOP

NOVEMBER 12

NOVEMBER 17

Birds, Bees and Babies Come and learn what babies have to teach us

One day Choice Theory and Reality Therapy

with Sally McLaren Details: www.sussex-counselling.co.uk NOVEMBER 13 Trauma in Children. One day workshop. Wealden College. www.wealdeninstitute.co.uk NOVEMBER 16 Wellbeing Wednesday. Link Centre, Newick. Leilani Mitchell talks on ‘do we have a social responsibility?’ Free. www.thelinkcentre.co.uk

Details: www.sussex-counselling.co.uk

NOVEMBER 19 Ambiguous Loss with Andrea Perry. Details: www.emotionaldevelopment. co.uk NOVEMBER 19 Perspectives on interpretation:what makes a good intervention in therapy?

www.brightontherapypartne rship.org.uk/events NOVEMBER 19-20Brainspotting training phase two, Brighton. Details: www.bspuk.co.uk NOVEMBER 19 Ambiguous loss by Andrea Perry. One day workshop. www.emotionaldevelopment. co.uk NOVEMBER 19/20 Introduction to Educational Transactional Analysis.Link Centre, Newick. www.thelinkcentre.co.uk DECEMBER 3 Gender identity. Brighton. www.brightonbapca.co.uk/# !workshops/cfvg DECEMBER 3 Always hurting the ones we love: understanding intimate violence from an attachment and trauma perspective. www.emotionaldevelopment. co.uk

SUSSEX COUNSELLING WORKSHOP JANUARY 14 Introduction

to NLP Techniques for Therapists

Details: www.sussex-counselling.co.uk

Sussex Counselling and Psychotherapy (SCAP)

Contact Us Sussex Counselling and Psychotherapy Group PO Box 308, Brighton BN2 0WA Editor: Astrid Stubbs: newsletter@sussex-counselling.co.uk Advertising : advertising@sussex-counselling.co.uk Membership: membership@sussex-counselling.co.uk Chair: chair@sussex-counselling.co.uk General Enquiries: info@sussex-counselling.co.uk New Counsellors: newcounsellors@sussex-counselling.co.uk Paper Directory: paperdirectory@sussex-counselling.co.uk Secretary: secretary@sussex-counselling.co.uk Finance: finance@sussex-counselling.co.uk Website: website@sussex-counselling.co.uk Web: www.sussex-counselling.co.uk Twitter: @SussexCAP Facebook: www.facebook.com/SussexCounsellingAndPsychotherapy Printed in the UK www.dpsltd.net

Wealden Psychology Institute Established in Crowborough, East Sussex since 1986

www.wealdeninstitute.co.uk Over the last 30 years Wealden Institute has built a solid reputation in the South East as a centre of excellence for specialized and advanced learning for counsellors, psychotherapist and supervisors, offering courses from beginner to post graduate level, accredited by the BACP, UKCP and EATA. The Institute has many years’ experience in providing the highest levels of practice through our Trauma Clinic, Supervision Service, Expert Witness Service and Animal Assissted Therapy at our local, Soil Association registered organic farm. We offer popular and acclaimed training in each of these fields through the highly respected Wealden College of Counselling and Psychotherapy.

Wealden Trauma Clinic Our clinic offers TA, EMDR, Mindfulness and Animal Assisted Therapy for child and adult survivors of abuse, violence and trauma.

Supervision of Counsellors, Psychotherapists, Clinical Psychologists and Supervisors Face to face, on line or by telephone, for trainees and qualified practitioners.

Specialist training for counsellors and psychotherapists in working with survivors of trauma Transactional Analysis Counselling & Psychotherapy training – 4 year training programme leading to UKCP accreditation as a Psychotherapist Year 1: TA Foundation Certificate: (ten weekend modules or 20 fortnightly Monday modules.

Years 2 to 4: TA Clinical training (ten weekends or 20 Mondays per year over three years.

Diploma in Humanistic Integrative Counselling 40 days per year for two years – BACP Accredited course Specialist training courses at introductory and diploma level for counsellors and psychotherapists in Trauma Therapy, CBT and Animal Assisted Therapy.

We have a full programme of one and two day short courses and CPD workshops – see our website for details.

If you would like to get further information or arrange to come in for a chat, please contact the head office in Crowborough. You will receive a warm welcome.

Wealden Psychology Institute, 2 Quarry View, Whitehill Road, Crowborough, TN6 1JT

www.wealdeninstitute.co.uk Email: admin@wealdeninstitute.co.uk Telephone: 01892 655195

The learning environment is rich, safe and dynamic ~ explore, learn, ask questions, challenge and be challenged.

Please visit our website to enrol

www.thelinkcentre.co.uk or for further information, call us on 01892 652487

ENGAGING AND THOUGHT PROVOKING WORKSHOPS AND COURSES For those who wish to challenge and be challenged.

BDSM in the Therapeutic Relationship

TA101 Introduction to

19th November Transactional Analysis BDSM, the terminology, legality and use of kink. 28th/29th January, 25th/26th March We will consider the avoidance of mentioning Want to understand yourself and others? TA is a great tool sexual practices, specific issues that BDSM’ers might for personal awareness and professional development. This bring to the relationship, how to work effectively weekend course will introduce some of the main concepts with them and how your own experience and of TA including: life script, psychological games, ego states culture may influence your thinking and practice. and transactions. It leads to an internationally recognised Course Tutor: Deborah Fields certificate and is a starting point for those wishing to continue with further counselling / psychotherapy training.

Introduction to Educational Course Tutor: Leilani Mitchell

Transactional Analysis

19th/20th November An introduction to what it means to be an educational transactional analyst as well as reconnecting with what it means for us to be learners and educators. A look at education, different perspectives on teaching and learning practice, within a TA frame of reference. The workshop will be particularly relevant for school teachers, adult trainers, informal educators and those already in the TA field.

Course Tutor: Giles Barrow

Free Wellbeing Evening – “Do we have a social responsibility?”

Weds 16th Nov 7pm – 9pm Free evening event – Leilani Mitchell speaks on “Do we have a social responsibility?”. There is also the opportunity to network, and find out about our part-time counselling and psychotherapy courses and workshops.

Diploma in Supervision

Starts 28th January 2017 (6 weekends over 7 months) For those who already have significant experience working as a practitioner within their field who want to further their career and qualify as a supervisor. Now in its 9th year, this cross-modal course covers a range of topics, including the supervisory relationship, working ethically, differing models of supervision, philosophy of supervision, responsibility and others. For those that want to, this course will help to prepare you to apply for BACP accreditation as a supervisor.

Course Tutor: Mark Head

Open Day

Saturday 25th February 2017 – 12.30pm to 1.30pm Visit us during one of our training weekends – get a flavour of the Link Centre by meeting tutors and students and see our training environment.

Part-Time Counselling / Psychotherapy training courses

Part-time weekend courses (10 weekends a year between October and July), leading to national and international accreditation. Start to plan now for starting in October 2017 – come and visit us, get a flavour of TA on our TA101 weekend, and then start the application process.

Workshops and Events coming up in Spring 2017

Engaging Creatively in Therapy Work Therapy Marathon.

The Link Centre training rooms are at Newick, East Sussex.

www.thelinkcentre.co.uk

Seminars 2016/17

Sussex Counselling and Psychotherapy Birds, Bees and Babies - Infant Observation November 12 Introduction to NLP techniques for therapists - January 14, 2017 Using Dreams in Therapy -February 25, 2017 Details: www.sussex-counselling.co.uk @SussexCAP www.facebook.com/ SussexCounsellingAndPsychotherapy/