April 24, 2014 | Volume 3, Issue 27 | Stillwater, OK
www.theodysseyonline.com | @Odyssey_OKState | Facebook.com/TheOdysseyOklahomaState
SUMMER LOVIN’ PAGE 2
GREEKS OF THE WEEK: CULLEN DUKE AND BRANDON SAMPLES PAGE 4 SUMMER BUCKET LIST PAGE 7 DATING IS A GAME PAGE 13 SIGMA CHI DERBY DAYS PAGEANT 2014 Photo Credit: Trevor Greer
2
Editor's note
www.theodysseyonline.com
TITLE missing
LIBBY NICHOLAS Chi Omega
Editor-in-Chief
Libby is a senior studying multimedia journalism. You may contact her at elizabeth.nicholas@ okstate.edu.
THE ODYSSEY AT OKLAHOMA STATE EXECUTIVE TEAM President Breanna Fuller Alpha Delta Pi Distribution Executive Tori Brownlee Alpha Delta Pi Recruitment Executive Kade Goodwin Phi Delta Theta Sales Executives Adrianna Newport Alpha Delta Pi Hunter Kashwer Phi Delta Theta
CREATIVE TEAM Editor-in-Chief Libby Nicholas Chi Omega Contributing Editor Thomas Chapman FarmHouse Photographer Jamie Barnes Sigma Pi Megan Noble Zeta Tau Alpha
OLYMPIA MEDIA GROUP 888.272.2595 | OlympiaMediaGroup.com Managing Editor, Kate Waxler Designer, Grant Hohulin
We want a representative from every house! To apply for a writing, photography or sales position, TheOdysseyOnline.com/creative © 2014 Olympia Media Group, LLC All Rights Reserved. The Odyssey is a private entity not associated or governed by University of Oklahoma or OSU Greek life office. The views and opinions shared in The Odyssey are those of the writers and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of The Odyssey and Olympia Media Group.
www.theodysseyonline.com
TITLE missing
Scene on campus
3
4
Adventure traveling
www.theodysseyonline.com
EDUCATION FOR A GREATER GOOD
While most people were busy opening presents from Santa, the state of Oklahoma was welcoming its own gift – Oklahoma Agricultural and Mechanical College. That’s right. Oklahoma A&M was founded just 20 months after the Land Run and nearly 20 years before statehood.
HANNAH NEMECEK Chi Omega
Hannah is a junior studying agricultural communications. You may contact her at hannah.nemecek@okstate.edu.
The first students assembled for class on December 14, 1891 with no buildings, no books and no curriculum. Students gathered in local churches until 1894, when 144 students moved into the first academic building, now known as Old Central. Just two years later, in 1896, Oklahoma A&M graduated six males in its first commencement. While the college had been established for nearly six years, the groundwork for the institution had been laid for nearly 30 years. Congress passed the Morrill Act of 1862, laying the foundation for the establishment of land grant institutions throughout the country. This act granted each state 30,000 acres of public land for each of its members of Congress. The state could, then, sell the land and use the money to build educational institutions for agriculture, engineering and the military. Several years later, came the Hatch Act of 1887 and the Smith-Lever Act of 1914. The Hatch Act created federal funding for agricultural research stations operated through the
land grant universities. The Smith-Lever Act established a cooperative extension service to educate the public about agriculture, economics and more. So what does being a land grant university mean? And why should we, as students of Oklahoma State University, care about land grant institutions? Because it makes us different. Our university has a purpose larger than just educating students. It exists to serve Oklahoma. Because we are a land grant institution, our entire purpose is to better the state. OSU is structured based on the land grant model – a triangle of teaching, research and extension. Essentially, students are taught, research is conducted and knowledge is extended. The education and research conducted at the university is extended – or shared – with the general public. For example, if researchers discover a specific fertilizer is more efficient on a specific crop, that knowledge is shared with farmers so they can utilize the information to increase their yields and profits. And that is just one very small example. In 1952, Oklahoma A&M became known as Oklahoma State University, but its purpose still remains the same. Being students at a land grant institution should inspire us. Because our university’s goal is to share knowledge with others, we should strive to use our education for good. We should use our education to better the lives of those around us. After all, what is the point of being educated if we do not use it to improve our world? Take pride in our school. Its existence has shaped shape the future of Oklahoma and will continue to.
Adventure traveling
www.theodysseyonline.com
WHATEVER HAPPENED TO MONICA LEWINSKY?
5
Monica Lewinsky – you might recognize the name. You might recall it from Queen Bey’s song, Delta Delta Delta “Partition,” where she Sophia is a freshman studying agricultural education. claims that “he Monica Yo u m a y c o n t a c t h e r a t Lewinsky-ed all on my sophie.gibson@okstate.edu. gown.” However, with a scandal that happened 18 years ago, it’s easy to forget who Monica Lewinsky was, back then, and who she is now.
Despite, President Clinton’s claims that he did “not have sexual relations with that woman,” Monica Lewinsky lost all political credibility when news of their affair broke in January of 1998. The affair was repeatedly denied by Clinton until Lewinsky’s legal team produced a blue dress stained with Clinton’s semen, meaning that Beyoncé’s lyrics should really be that “he Bill Clinton-ed all on my gown.” Sorry, Bey.
Throwback to 1995: a bright-eyed girl with a brand new psychology degree entered the White House, excited to start her internship. She quickly became enamored with the charismatic Commander in Chief, President Bill Clinton, and started an on-andoff affair that spanned over two years.
In 2005, Lewinsky chose to escape the spotlight and she moved to London where she earned her master’s degree in social psychology. Although she has declined most interviews, there are rumors that an interview with Barbara Walter is in the works,
SOPHIA GIBSON
Although Clinton was impeached on two charges, is political career has stayed strong – perhaps only overshadowed by his wife’s political fortunes. Lewinsky, however lost all career credibility and resigned to a quiet life. As she puts it, “I’m well-known for something that isn’t great to be well-known for.” Using her semicelebrity status, she published a book in 1999 titled, Monica’s Story, and even started a handbag line.
which would be Barbara Walter’s final interview before retiring.
6
Adventure traveling
www.theodysseyonline.com
FRATERNITY LIFE IN RETROSPECT: CIRCA 1969
Although Stillwater seems like a somewhat conservative place, now, NINA things got pretty weird BLASDEL in the flower child era, Kappa Delta according to my dad. Nina is a sophomore studying My dad, Brett, was a hotel & restaurant administration. Sigma Nu at OSU from Yo u m a y c o n t a c t h e r a t nina.blasdel@okstate.edu. 1967-71. I asked him and his older brother, Mark (who was also a Sigma Nu), to relive some of their memories from the age of hippies, Vietnam and the Beatles. Between my dad and Uncle Mark, I got some funny stories – about half of them were not appropriate for the paper. “When we left for summer in ‘69, everyone was wearing slacks and starched shirts, with their fraternity pins, to class,” my dad said. “When we returned, it was like the Beatles had taken over – faded denim, overalls and tie-dyed t-shirts. Guys had long hair and the girls stopped wearing bras.”
My dad said that back in the day, the guys would go on panty-raids, which is something that I always assumed was just an urban legend. “A huge group of guys would go up to an all-girls’ dorm, stand outside and start chanting something along the lines of, “give us your panties,” and then, wham! It would literally start raining panties. From time to time, girls got a little too excited and even stripped in front of their windows for everyone to see.” To put an official end to the panty raids, OSU’s administration started taking pictures of the participants and expelling those they could identify. Back then, there was apparently a bigger rift between Independents and Greeks than there is today and the Sigma Nus had a major love-hate relationship with wintertime. “The independents hated us. Whenever a snowstorm hit, they would come for us in mobs, chanting in unison, ‘get the snakes, get the snakes,’ over and over. So, one day, after a particularly huge snowstorm, we heard this noise coming from somewhere far away. We climbed up to the top of our roof and saw that there was a massive mob of Independents headed for our house. We rallied a bunch of fraternities – Lambda Chi, Sig Ep, AGR and SAE, and we took on the mob. There were probably six hundred of them and three hundred of us. It turned into an all-out brawl. There were ice chunks, bloody noses and lots of ‘blankety-blank-blank’s.’ Their object was to knock the windows out of Sigma Nu, and those leaded glass windows were not cheap.” The sixties were not all fun and games, though. There was a constant fear of getting drafted for the war and almost everyone had at least one friend who was killed or injured in Vietnam. “The Vietnam war lasted too long,” my Uncle Mark said. “When I arrived on campus as a freshman, all males were required to enlist in ROTC.” Apparently, OSU was the biggest producer of army officers in the nation, except for West Point. The next year, when my dad arrived on campus, ROTC was no longer mandatory, much to his relief. My dad recalls that some of his favorite moments of college were simply sitting in a bar, called The Coachman, with his pledge brothers. They would be wearing a coat and tie, drinking beer from the pitcher and checking out sorority girls who were eager to enjoy a pitcher of beer, themselves. Some things never change.
500 words on summer
www.theodysseyonline.com
LET’S GO BACK A BIT I’m throwing it back to many years ago.
JAKE BLASDEL
Ever since humans arrived on earth, we’ve Sigma Nu known that fitness is Jake is a junior studying biological imperative to retaining the science. You may contact him at quality of life. Being fast jacob.blasdel@okstate.edu. meant being able to hunt prey or escape danger. Being limber made it easier to climb trees and find food. Being physically fit also improved the quality of survival by catering to reproductive success. There are many reasons why we hold fitness in high regard, so let’s throw it back and catch up on the trends in fitness over the past centuries. During the dark and the middle ages, the fittest hunters were able to catch the most food and bring it home to their families to fuel their survival. Similarly, the best gatherers were able to gather the most food in the shortest amount of time, so adaptation favored humans who were more physically fit than others. In the late 16th century, with the development of the microscope, improvements in its technology presented the Dutch researcher, Van Leeuwenhoek, with red blood cells and tissues of plants and animals. This led to their manipulation, which in turn led to discoveries of how they work, what’s good for them and how they react to different nutrients and diseases. Enter the Renaissance. From 1400 to 1600, the human body finally began to be appreciate for how amazing it really is. There were so many phenomena that the smartest minds couldn’t begin to understand, but at least we were beginning to question some of our capabilities and how we might be able to stretch them to our advantage with science. Nobles endorsed the idea that high fitness correlated with increased intellectual capacity, so again, fitness had a whole new meaning. In the 1700s, in Europe, gymnastics became the newest thing. Athletes would train in the sports of balancing, running, jumping, acrobatics and dancing in order to impress others and make a living. Education programs blossomed because so many people wanted to become physically fit. Americans, at this same time, were hard at work plowing fields, sailing the coast and fishing for food and herding domesticated animals. Thus, America was not necessarily focused on physical education. We were focused with trying to survive. In the late 1800s, after the Civil War, America began its Industrial Revolution, which opened many families to the option of moving to the cities and leaving behind tough, rural living. These people didn’t have to rely on their physical fitness as much as the early Americans did, so living in the city became a little too easy for some people, and their bodies took advantage of it. Thomas Jefferson recommended that people get two hours of exercise every day! This idea was not so well-received. The 20th century brought the two World Wars. Again, hundreds of thousands of Americans were forced to train their bodies to find new maxima. Many of the troops were deemed medically unfit, so fitness requirements for the military were even more intense after this discovery. This led to the government decision to implement physical education regimens in the school systems, so every child would be exposed to exercise
7
and living a healthy life. After WWI, America settled into a state of rest and apathy. This, along with the stock market crash of 1929, introduced Americans to the Great Depression and it was about time that America had a reality check. The strict policies of physical education enforcement in the schools was on a decline and Americans were getting bigger and lazier. Another check on the fitness of WWII troops found that half of them were not physically fit for combat. Again, America was faced with the importance of being active. In the early 1960s, President John F. Kennedy was also a key proponent to furthering American awareness of health and fitness, and his efforts led to many programs that promoted this idea to young Americans. I hope you’ve learned something from this Throwback issue. Keep in mind the importance of your health and fitness!
8
Sports local
www.theodysseyonline.com
THROWBACK THURSDAY: STADIUM EDITION Oklahoma State history is deep and rich with success. As fans, we love to remember those moments former athletes brought to this great school. But in the spirit of Throwback Thursday, lets remember the places those successful athletes perform.
THOMAS CHAPMAN FarmHouse
Thomas is a freshman studying sports media. You may contact him at tmchapm@okstate.edu.
Boone Pickens is also one of the oldest stadiums in the country, but recently underwent some dramatic changes. In 2009, the full renovation that is Boone Pickens Stadium was completed. On September 5, 2009, the Oklahoma State Cowboys rededicated the stadium in their season opener against the Georgia Bulldogs. In honor of ThrowbackThursday, here is a recap of the game that began a new era in Cowboy football. Thirteenth-ranked Georgia visited the ninth-ranked Cowboys to begin the 2009 regular season. The contest featured many well-known players many of us grew up watching. Zach Robinson and Dez Bryant led the charge, as Oklahoma State clashed with the SEC opponent.
Over the years, Gallagher-Iba was revived through multiple renovations helping it become the “rowdiest arena in the country” while staying true to its old traditions like the hard wood floors, which have not been changed or removed since 1938. Let’s throw back to when history was made in our rowdy arena.
Georgia took a touchdown lead early, but the Robinson to Bryant connection answered. At the end of the first half, OSU lead 10 to seven. In the second half, Oklahoma State came alive. Parish Cox, our top cornerback in 2009, shut down the Georgia wide receivers and recorded a 74-yard kick-off return. Dez Bryant caught only three passes the entire game, but his first and third both went for scores. Zach Robinson showed off his dual threat ability by connecting for two passing touchdowns and running for another. Other great OSU football players, like Kendall Hunter and Dan Bailey, lifted the Cowboys to victory with a 24 to 10 win.
The most notable change was in 2005, when Eddie Sutton passed Henry Iba in career wins. In an important conference game versus Iowa State, Eddie Sutton coached his 768th win as Oklahoma State’s head basketball coach. Joey Graham and Ivan McFarlin scored 20 points, each, to clinch the 10-point victory over a Big 12 rival. After this game, OSU dedicated the court to Sutton. The legendary coach’s signature is now on display, painted onto the maple wood floor.
OSU students love and cherish these places in which we choose to watch sports. They are more than buildings or structures to our community and are full of history. As we throwback and remember how these remarkable sights came to be, let’s continue to roll out and fill these stadiums next year on game day. History is made every time athletes take the court or field. Let’s be a part of that history and continue to be the rowdiest fans in the nation.
Here at Oklahoma State, we pride ourselves on our sporting venues. Gallahger-Iba and Boone Pickens Stadium are both recognized as premier spots for Big 12 basketball and football.
OSU SPORTS FLASHBACK C u r r e n t l y, the Oklahoma State ALEX University athletic DEWINTER p ro g r a m i s d o i n g Phi Kappa Tau extremely well in many Alexis a sophomore majoring areas. The football, in finance and accounting. men’s basketball and Yo u m a y c o n t a c t h i m a t baseball teams were all alex.dewinter@okstate.edu. ranked pretty highly in the NCAA top 25, during their past respective seasons, and the wrestling, equestrian, golf and women’s basketball programs are also excelling. However, we have seen success in a variety of sports over their lifetime (not just of recent), from individual achievements to conference and national championships.
decade, including going back to back in 1961 and 1962. Aside from that, the Pokes sports teams did not fare well at all. Looking back at the two decades of the 1970s and 1980s lets us see how lucky we are with the current success our teams. We have been in the running for conference championships in each of the big three sports for America (football, baseball, and basketball), and it can be relatively easy to take it all for granted.
1920s to the 1960s. These were the golden years for the Cowboys, as multiple teams won national championships and many teams experienced success. Coach Henry Iba coached the Cowboys men’s basketball team for over 30 years and the highlight of his tenure was his back to back NCAA championships in 1945 and 1946. The teams were led by the game’s first seven-footer, Bob Kurland. In 1959, Coach Toby Greene took the baseball team to a National Championship title, during a season in which only four players remained from the previous season and the team managed to achieve a 17-3 in conference record. The wrestling team was better than both of the other sports combined, as they won 21 national championships from 1928 to 1959.
1990s. Beloved Coach Eddie Sutton just about single handedly brought the Pokes back into the national spotlight. They made the tournament in his second season, after a multitude of losing seasons from past coaches – the Pokes had reached postseason play just three times since 1957. During his time in Stillwater, the team made 14 of the 17 postseasons, with three regular season conference championships and three tournament conference championships. The highlight of his time at Oklahoma State was in 1995, when Bryant “Big Country” Reeves led the Cowboys to the NCAA Final Four. Reeves averaged 21.5 points as a senior and was eventually the Vancouver Grizzlies first ever draft pick (6th overall).
1970s. The wrestling program won five national championships during this
1980s. The most outstanding part of the 1980s, for the Oklahoma State athletics program, was Barry Sanders and it wasn’t very close. After backing up All-American, Thurman Thomas, in his first two years (1986 and 1987), Sanders stepped in and had one of the greatest statistical seasons in college football history. He set all kinds of records and rushed for 2,628 yards (3,248 total yards) with 39 total touchdowns and he even scored two TDs in 11 consecutive games. The icing on the cake was his 222 yards and five touchdowns in three quarters of the Holiday Bowl and, that year, he went on to win the Heisman trophy.
Scene on campus
www.theodysseyonline.com
9
HOT IN STILLWATER Fashion Through The Decades 70s Bell bottoms (for men and women). Platform shoes. Head scarves.
ANNA-MARIE AHRBERG Pi Beta Phi
Anna-Marie is a sophomore studying sports media. You may contact her at anna-marie. ahrberg@okstate.edu.
Plaid. 80s Shoulder pads. Leg warmers. Track suits for men. Feathered hair. 90s Chocker necklaces. Bleached/ frosted tips for guys. Babydoll dresses. Roller blades. Early 2000s Juicy Couture sweatsuits. Dooney and Bourke purses. Livestrong bracelets. Denim miniskirt. ** NOTE: the first 3 pics go with the 70s, next 4 go with 80s, then the next 2 go with the 90s, next 3 go with 2000s, the last pic of justin timberlake goes with bleached hair goes with the 90s also. I’m sorry that is confusing! If there are certain ones you like and other ones you don’t you can pic and choose which ones are best!!***
10 THROWBACK THURSDAY MEMORIES Lookbook fashion
With every day of the week, comes an acronym that most people around the world use almost every day. Kappa Alpha Order Sunday, you get to show your social media friends Nick is a senior studying international all the fun you’re having business and pre-law. You may contact with #SundayFunday and him at nick.vela@okstate.edu. then, on Monday, you get the chance to show the world who your man crush is with #MCM. Tuesday is the chance to show everyone your transformation with #TransformationTuesday and Wednesday, you get the chance to show the world who your woman crush is with #WCW. Thursday is the day you can throw it back a little with #ThrowbackThursday and Friday you can have a flashback moment with flashback Friday #FF. Saturday and Sunday are selfie days with #SelfieSaturday and #SelfieSunday. Today, it’s Thursday, so you know what that means readers, Throwback Thursday!
NICK VELA
Let’s take a look at a few throwback moments at Oklahoma State. “My favorite memory would have to be when we had that epic snowpocalypse and school was cancelled for a few days,” says senior Zeta Katie Keil. While talking with Katie, she explained that she lived by herself in the dorms and didn’t want to get stranded alone,
PECKS LODGE
www.theodysseyonline.com
so hanging out at Zeta was the only way to spend the snow days. Katie recruited her two best friends and ventured out into the snow to rescue her friends from Wentz and take them to Zeta to have a fun filled snow day. After putting on every article of clothing they owned and going through the snow, the girls finally made it to Zeta where they took over the study room to make a gigantic fort. “The fort spanned the room,” says Katie. “We spent rest of the week watching movies and acting like goofballs.” The only reason the girls left Zeta was to go sledding or get more hot chocolate. Thanks, Katie, for sharing your throwback moment with us. My Oklahoma State throwback moment would, hands down, be the day my roommate Reid and I decided to go down the hall to my best friend’s room and scare her. First, we scared her roommate, Paige, who was sitting in their room. Then, we decided to scare Hope while she was in the shower. We flipped the breaker and all the lights turned off and Hope flipped out and began to scream. We made her roommate Paige go along with it and start screaming, too, so that Hope wouldn’t think it was a joke. Well, after she almost started crying, we ran out of the room and we laughed about this moment every day of our lives,afterwards. That was definitely my most favorite memory my freshman year; best Throwback Thursday moment of my life. Throwback Thursdays are great days to look back on your favorite memories of your life. Hope everyone has a great Thursday. Tweet in your favorite picture of your throwback Thursday moment at Oklahoma State to The Odyssey’s twitter page @Odyssey_OKState. Happy Thursday, everyone!
500 words on life
www.theodysseyonline.com
#TBT - YOUR PERCEPTION OF GREEK LIFE
This edition of throwback Thursday goes all the way back to before our lives as we know them began, back to high school. Beyond the Sigma Pi throws of our awkward Jamie is a junior studying stages, there were the Landscape Architecture. You may dreams and aspirations of contact him at james.barnes@ our futures in college. The okstate.edu. somewhat far-fetched ideas that we had and the not so unrealistic realities of college and Greek Life are the emphasis of this article.
JAMIE BARNES
I’m assuming a majority of us watched the much beloved TV show that aired on ABC Family called GREEK, I know I did. Some of the most prolific forecasts that I made for myself about college and Greek life came from this show. I was absolutely certain that no matter what school I ended up at, even though I was fairly certain I would be a Cowboy, that there would be some stereotypical Greek houses that had been perpetuated in that show. I hoped that I could somehow be just like Cappie, with a wild and crazy free spirit. But I also expected to be just like Rusty Cartwright; shy, timid and confused by all of the
MORE ‘90S, PLEASE?
Throwback Thursday, or #TBT, has become a staple of social media culture, with people posting everything from some of the most exciting high school moments to a very embarrassing picture of their best friend as an awkward 12-year-old. Today, I am throwing it back to some jams that you were probably quite familiar with in their day. From Will Smith to Christina Aguilera to Incubus, this playlist probably was heard in its entirety on the radio on a given day in 1999. While several of these artists would be considered one hit wonders, that one hit made the ‘90s that much more LANE awesome. I’m currently ripping up my jeans, putting my hoop HUGHES earrings in, and spiking up my Sigma Chi bleached hair in anticipation of this playlist. With that, enjoy the Lane is a junior studying animal nostalgia, my friends. The ‘90’s science. You may contact him at ruled. lane.hughes@okstate.edu. Butterfly – Crazy Town Wide Open Spaces – Dixie Chicks Inside Out – Eve 6 Steal My Sunshine – Len Livin’ la Vida Loca – Ricky Martin Mambo No. 5 – Lou Bega All The Small Things – Blink-182 Waterfalls – TLC Mmmbop – Hanson Getting’ Jiggy Wit It – Will Smith What a Girl Wants – Christina Aguilera Semi-Charmed Life – Third Eye Blind
11
new scenery. I was definitely looking forward to meeting a good number of girls and hoped to maybe one day find my very own Casey Cartwright, and fall madly in love with her. I was so excited about making new friends like The Beaver and to be part of insane shenanigans all of the time. Naturally though, this was just a TV show, so no one can expect too much of it to become reality. I was honestly expecting there to be a house on campus with a parking lot dominated by Land Rovers, just like the one that Evan Chambers drove. I was expecting some life changing experiences and to meet a bunch of people who would become significant parts of my life. Back in the day when I was still in high school, I expected to have the time of my life while involved in Greek life. I hoped to meet tons of new people and go to all sorts of date parties. Luckily, I have had a blast and have made a lot of new friends. And not to say that my college experiences in Greek life are comparable to some of the antics from the TV, but many of them have thrown me back to long lost lofty goals for my life being achieved. Everyone loves going to date parties and being part of other chapter’s philanthropies. And talk about a #TBT, Greek Week was a lot of fun. While some of my perceptions for college and Greek life may have been slightly misguided by the media, I was sufficiently excited about the new experiences I would have, and the new friends that I
12
Humor lol
www.theodysseyonline.com
TITLE We all loved the ‘90s, but what’s not to love? The only things we had to worry about were spelling tests and not getting caught passing notes in class (because if your classes were anything like mine, your teacher would read your notes aloud after she took them).
times out of 10, the family who rented it prior to you didn’t rewind it. That was the worst.
HOPE FRISBIE
Alpha Chi Omega
Hope is a sophomore studying business / pre-law. You may contact her hope.frisbie@ okstate.edu.
Between the sunset curfews and terrible hairstyles, those years were a heck of a place to grow up. Today I’m going to jog your memory about some of the best and worst things that came with being a ‘90s kid. Anyone remember Lisa Frank? This pink unicorn fest is something I’m sure fills a lot of girls memories. Backpacks, pencil cases, stickers, pens, coloring books - I think they even made clothes at one point. Moral of the story, if they made it, you can bet your bottom dollar that every girl on this side of the ‘90s probably owned it. And who could forget those plastic glow stars everyone plastered all over their bedroom walls? I’ll never know exactly why this was a cool thing to do, but if one thing’s for sure, it definitely made the night light-to-total-darkness transition a whole lot easier. Also, I bet some of your favorite memories are renting your favorite Disney movies from blockbuster to watch with your family. This dates us, not only because Blockbuster isn’t a thing anymore, but also because chances are that movie you rented was a VHS, and nine
TITLE missing
ALEXANDRA ADKINS Chi Omega
Alex is a sophomore studying entrepreneurship. You may contact her alexandra.adkins@ okstate.edu.
Speaking of things that are the worst, can we please just take a moment of silence for all of the girls who ever wore chokers? Those little atrocities would suck the life out of you if you weren’t careful. Ladies, just go ahead and take a look at all the old composites in your house from the mid ‘90s until about 2003. They’re everywhere. Why do bad things happen to good people? And then I’m sure you all remember waking up on Saturday mornings and watching Blue’s Clues. Before Steve “went off to college,” that is. Looking back on it now, that show was twisted in so many ways. Really, how do salt and pepper make paprika? Is this a joke? And for the next iconic ‘90s fail, we have inflatable furniture. If you had an inflatable chair, you were pretty much the coolest thing since confetti cake. Why did we think that was a good idea? Those were such a colossal waste of money. They adopted mystery stains as soon as you could blow them up, and they popped at virtually the slightest touch. They were really cool, though. I had one and my Barbie had one to match it. I was really cool as a kid, OK? This time period was a great time for a lot of things. It was also a terrible time for a lot of things. Take product advertisement, for example. Anyone remember that L’Oreal shampoo that was shaped like a fish and advertised as being a “no tears formula”? Well I, think I can speak for myself and anyone who ever used the stuff as a child, and let you know that they lied about the whole no tears thing. That stuff was like acid. Getting that stuff in your eyes was quite the traumatizing experience. While some of these things were great, and some completely terrible, I think we can all agree on the fact that the best days in gym class contained giant rainbow parachutes.
www.theodysseyonline.com
by Kade Goodwin Remember when you were a kid and you felt like you could do whatever you wanted? Most of the time what you wanted to do was be a jerk.
Humor tweets
KIDS ARE JERKS KADE GOODWIN Phi Delta Theta
Kade is a senior studying political science. You may contact him at kade.goodwin@okstate.edu.
With everyone rushing to have kids nowadays, do we really need another jerk in this world?
13
Don’t get me started with kids and their sense of entitlement. Have you ever opened up a bag of Skittles around children? It’s like goats at a petting zoo. They’ll come up to you with their mouths open expecting candy. Yeah, because what you little heathens need right now is more sugar. I feel like “mama” and “dada” might be the first words that come out of kids’ mouths, but the most used word by children is “mine”. How often have kids come up to you while you’re holding something that you own and said, “mine?” It’s happened to me a lot. Do kids even know what the principle of property and ownership is?
Yes, children can be jerks in certain ways, but we should never forget that we were once all children. Remember on this Throwback Thursday For Throwback Thursday, I want you to think back to when you were to act like a child, just don’t be a jerk. a child. Ah, it seems like not too long ago you and I were six years old, vibrant, innocent creatures of nature whose only worry in the world was how much peanut butter Miss Koehn would put on the celery sticks at snack time. We would play – well, not you and I since I didn’t know you then. You would play with your friends and I would play with my imaginary friend, Eugene, all day. Being a kid was awesome. You didn’t have to worry about anything. If you wanted something to eat, someone made it for you. You can start crying over the stupidest things and someone will be there to comfort you. You can say the dumbest things in the world and no one will call you an idiot. Kids may say the darndest things, but so would you if the extent of your education was the color wheel. Also, when you were a kid, whether you know it or not, you were a jerk – a jerk that could get away with things that you or I can’t get away with. All kids from age three to 11 are jerks. Once a boy turns 12, he knows he can’t be a jerk anymore because if he is, he’s liable to get smacked around. Kids also love to break stuff that isn’t theirs. They will find the one thing you love in the world and they will destroy it. No matter how many times you tell them not to touch something, they will find it, touch it, break it and laugh in your face and then cry whenever you get mad at them. I would hate to live with kids. They would be the worst roommate in the world. They would make your first college roommate – that really weird former pledge brother who had all those Facebook pictures of him holding knives and swords – look pretty appealing. Imagine a roommate who refuses any compromise when it comes to watching TV and will throw a fit if you don’t allow him to watch what he wants. Then, he eats all of your food, leaves a huge mess and expects you to clean it up. That’s what it would be like living with a kid.
14
Humor lol
@UberFacts: JFK ordered over 1,000 Cuban cigars for personal use right before he made them illegal. @trevso_electric: I have the flu and will sneeze in your enemy’s mouth for $25. @skullmandible: the social implications are bad but it’s hard for me to hate somebody sincerely trying to save me within the reality they perceive as valid. @evagdrew: “I had my mom bring me clothers for hondos in case I got asked” –anonymous chio. she didn’t get asked. @dave_ndconfused: Last night @krissygilbert tackled me to the ground and shoved 7 @ChickfilA nuggets in my mouth.
www.theodysseyonline.com
@DLarge20: When you’re playing your playlist and a guy says “wait can I play a song” is the worst type of person. @Katie_Mathewson: “You’re so American I’m going to make you my pet” – girl with multiple lip rings says to me after class. Look at me guys, making friends! @JakeAkinStrips: My favorite part of every day is when I go to sleep. My least favorite is waking up. Bed is a dramatic experience. @garrshaf: s/o to mktg group 4 talking Chinese about how they didn’t want me in their group, but I knew what they were saying so tricks on them. @rachelventura: Kate Hudson touched my arm and said excuse me. I said sorry and moved. It
was the best exchange of words I’ve ever had. #favoriteperson. @alyssawolf: Dad: You’re still in bed?! What are you doing with your life? Me: Loving it? @baileybrunsey: 95% of my hopes and dreams will be fulfilled the day I can bursar Quik Trip. @NolenTraylor: It’s funny how age and expectations have an inverse relationship. @travisstinnin: If this rain keeps up you better believe I’ll be heading over to Pike’s boat. @K_Franklin_A: There is a zombie and a human in my class and needless to say it is awkward.
PAGE 15