The Picador Volume 8, Issue 4
A PUBLICATION BY HOLDERNESS STUDENTS FOR THE HOLDERNESS SCHOOL COMMUNITY
November 9, 2012
Supporting Tabor Academy Students: A Humanitarian Effort dents were seen bending down to touch the dirt, amazed that bits recycled tires did not fill the gaps between the blades of grass. One particular student was knocked unconscious from the very smell of the fields, which he later deemed “too fresh.” It is up to the students of Holderness to protect these disoriented guests from harm.
By Lea Rice ’13 This coming Saturday, the students of Holderness School will be asked to reach into the depths of their hearts and welcome a pathetic group of people: Tabor students. They will emerge from their coach buses dazed and confused after their journey north. Sperry’s worn on the wrong feet; Ray Bans worn unrestrained by croakies; pastel colored polo shirts worn with the collars unpopped and the buttons undone. Suffice it to say that they will be in a state of desperation. The task falls to the students of our school to welcome these poor wanderers. The primary obstacle facing these students will be their
unfamiliarity with their surroundings. If a Tabor student approaches you asking where the shoreline is, please direct him/her to the Lower Fields to view the splendor of the Pemigewasset. Once they arrive,
however, they will be confused by the fields that stretch out before them. The Lower Fields lack the shine of the artificial turf to which these students are accustomed. Two years ago, some Tabor stu-
A Scientific Profile of the Seawolf Classification: Fish? Mammal? Confused? Natural Habitat: The clearance section of Vineyard Vines Diet: Scavengers, the lowest on the food chain; rely on saltwater and finger sandwiches for sustenance Migratory Habits: Stray from the sea for one weekend biannually Field Notes: The Seawolf is often called the “fruitfly of the sea” for its poor fighting skills and general lack of purpose. When threatened, the Seawolf has been known to begin to cry just a little bit in an effort to gain pity from its aggressor. In a controversial recent decision, the PETA decided to cut its funding for the protection of the nearly extinct Seawolf, saying ,“It just isn’t really worth it.” Unable to fend for themselves without debit cards and their aquatic environment, it seems that the Seawolf is headed towards extinction as it approaches its upcoming migration north.
It has been reported that some Tabor students debated whether or not to bring their sailboats up for their visit, growing anxious that they might miss a day out on the waves. These students must not be informed that they are many miles from the ocean. They are in a fragile enough state as it is, and this would destroy them. Their best bet may be to try the Frog Pond, but warn them to look out for low-hanging branches that (Continued on page 2)