The Clergy Connexion SPECIAL EDITION
Pastoral Self Care in a Time of Crisis
“May your unfailing love be my comfort, according to your promise to your servant.� Psalm 119:76 NIV
This magazine is a publication of the Office of Clergy Services of the Holston Conference of The United Methodist Church. It is made freely available for sharing within and outside the denomination. Please note that the articles in this magazine are not the property of Holston Conference. They are the property of the original authors and sources. If you copy and share them, please give appropriate credit. Photos are in the public domain and can be found on Unsplash.com. All photos are free to use on this site. Publisher and Editor Rev. Terry Goodman Director of Clergy Services Holston Conference of The United Methodist Church POB 850 Alcoa, TN 37701 Comments can be sent to: terrygoodman@holston.org
When the storms of life are ragin’ stand by me When the storms of life are ragin’ stand by me When the world is tossin’ me Like a ship upon the sea, Thou who rulest wind and water, Stand by me. —Charles Albert Tindley
This magazine is for those pastors and church leaders that are caught up in the raging storm of this pandemic. It offers articles from various sources. Most of them are not United Methodist, but good advice is good advice—no matter where it comes from. I encourage you to read these articles and do some of the things that they suggest to make sure that your spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical life stay in balance in the time of stress and uncertainty.
The Best Articles on Self-Care in the Church last updated June 2019 (I begin with an article filled with links to other articles. The links should work even though they are not the typical blue color you associate with a hyperlink. -TDG)
Several months ago I asked, Is Self-Care Part of Your Paid Employment, and Should It Be? Of readers who responded to the interactive poll, 50% said yes, 25% said no, 25% it depends. Since then, I’ve done more reading on self-care as it relates to church employment, and today I share the most helpful articles I’ve found with the title/link and a brief quote–not to summarize each article, but to encourage you to read the entire post. Some specifically address pastors, others speak more generally, some offer practical suggestions, others challenge the idea of self-care, one article might seem to contradict another, but together they stimulate a thoughtful approach to self-care when you work for the church. Wherever you see “pastor,” “clergy,” or “employee,” please feel free to fill in your own job title, and wherever you see “workplace,” substitute church or other Christian organization. If you have other articles to recommend, please add the link in the comments to expand this resource list.
1. WHY PASTORS SUCK AT SELF-CARE I have been asked what seminaries teach now about self-care, having only graduated 5 years ago. Self-care was one of most common mantras of my seminary education, and it seems obvious to me that you can’t really care for others, or fulfill your vocation with integrity, if you are a burned out wreck… yet so many pastors obviously feel the opposite. For so many professional ministers, a well rested, healthy pastor is a pastor failing at ministry. The Duke Clergy Health Initiative study on self-care among pastors, suggests that many ministers think self-care is selfish. My colleagues have told me that there was a day in seminary education when the message to students was that being a pastor meant giving your life to Jesus (or in other words, to your congregation 24/7). There is no room for self-care in ministry. [Read more about Why Pastors Suck at SelfCare….]
2. WHAT CLERGY DO NOT NEED I do not think clergy need more lectures about self-care. It seems that at every ordination or installation service I attend there is a charge given about clergy self-care. One minister stands up and tells another minister that they know they are about to work themselves to death, so resist the temptation. “Take your day off…set boundaries…don’t try to be all things to all people.” All this is done in front of an audience of lay people who are supposed to be impressed that we clergy would need such a lecture. It has become a cliché, and seems to have trumped prophecy, theology and the love of Jesus. [Read more about What Clergy Do Not Need….]
3. THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SELFISH CARE, SELF-CARE, AND SOUL CARE Quite simply, good self-care is attending to and respecting the limitations and needs that God has designed for humans. I find the analogy of caring for our car as a helpful starting point. Changing the oil and doing regular maintenance is simply being a responsible car owner. It is not selfish to ignore the flashing check engine light; it is not a measure of one’s strength to ignore our needs as a human, rather foolishness. [Read more about Selfish Care, Self-Care, and Soul Care….]
4. SELF-CARE AND SELF-DENIAL The topic of self-care, particularly as it relates to physical and emotional health, has long confused and challenged me as a Christian. While I’ve deeply resonated with much of the common sense in the philosophy of self-care, other aspects have troubled me and seem completely incompatible with Christianity. I couldn’t agree with Scripture and at the same time agree with arguments encouraging me to pursue a self-focused, indulgent, comfort-based lifestyle. On the other hand, I heartily agreed in principle with discussions of self-care as stewardship. Still, I usually came away with more of a sense of heavy obligation than of freedom and gratitude. I often saw God as an auto mechanic pacing around, irritated and inconvenienced by my failure to get my car in for regular maintenance. [Read more about Self-Care and Self-Denial….]
5. THE INSANITY OF ‘SELF-CARE’ The closest the self-care movement can get to truly good news is to tell you to stare at something big: • “Watch a sunrise.” •
“Hike in the woods.”
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“Go to the beach.”
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“Take a country drive.”
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“Watch a sunset.”
Each of these is an effort to put you in front of something bigger than yourself long enough that you forget yourself. The strategies hint at the Christian gospel because the sensations we feel gazing at
bigness begin to uncover the God-sized cavity beneath our guilt, stress, and anxiety. The care you really need is not buried somewhere deep inside of you, waiting to be unlocked by some dessert or diversion. No, you need the healing, forgiving, restoring, and transforming grace of a God who loves you. [Read more about The Insanity of ‘Self-Care’….]
6. WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY ABOUT REST AND SELF-CARE? When I was really struggling to understand why rest and self-care were important practices for Christians I conversed with various mentors and friends and couldn’t get a satisfying answer. I know of so many faithful pastors and missionaries who work tirelessly for the gospel despite their own deteriorating health– there is just so much need and good work to be done that carving out time for rest seems selfish and counter-productive. That is our human thinking– but what does the Bible have to say about rest and self-care? [Read more about What Does the Bible Say About Rest and SelfCare….]
7. SELF-CARE AND THE CHRISTIAN If we look to the Bible for signs of Jesus taking care of His personal needs, we can see that He was able to recognise His own needs and tend to them accordingly. He was able to comprehend that He had limits and that God had allowed for Him to care for Himself. When He saw the need, Jesus would escape to nurse his heavy heart in prayer, indulging in time to Himself because He needed it. Even Jesus had limits. This is humbling for us to remember. It’s so easy to hold ourselves to a level of perfection and feel shame when we struggle to meet our own expectations of what a Christian ‘should be like’. [Read more about Self-Care and the Christian….]
8. SELF-CARE IS NOT SELF-ISH When the Rev. Jeanette Hicks graduated from seminary in 2010, a mentor cautioned her about overwork. A retired pastor, the mentor hoped that Hicks and other young clergy would do better at staying healthy over the long run than she and her contemporaries had done. But just six months later, Hicks, a United Methodist pastor then serving in the Kentucky Conference, was a sleep-deprived wreck, surviving on sugar-fueled energy and calorie-dense church meals. . . . Hicks’ experience is not unusual. Even with the best intentions and all the knowledge and advice in the world, clergy of all ages often find it difficult to take care of themselves, the Duke Clergy Health Initiative has found. On the long list of items that must be done every day, they often put themselves last. [Read more about Self-Care Is Not Self-ish….]
9. DEVELOPING A SELF-CARE PLAN Workplace or Professional Self-Care involves activities that help you to work consistently at the professional level expected of you. For example: Engage in regular supervision or consulting with a more experienced colleague; Set up a peer-support group; Be strict with boundaries between clients/students and staff; Read professional journals; Attend professional development programs. [Read more about Developing a Self-Care Plan….]
10. DO YOU FOSTER A CULTURE OF SELF-CARE IN THE WORKPLACE? This article cites the work of professor Marie Asberg, who describes burnout as an “exhaustion funnel” and offers tips to foster a culture of self-care, including: Create a healthy email policy – be mindful of the burden of e-mails on staff and implement ways to reduce it in order to increase productivity and efficiency. A new report by the London-based Future Work Center, which conducts psychological research on workplace experiences, found that two of the most stressful habits were leaving emails on all day and checking emails early in the morning and late at night. [Read more about Do You Foster a Culture of Self-Care in the Workplace….]
OTHER HELPFUL LINKS Four Gifts: Seeking Self-Care for Heart, Soul, Mind, and Strength My reading and reflection on self-care led to my writing this book, published by Herald Press, 2018. Table of contents, endorsements, and order information available here: Four Gifts: Seeking Self-Care for Heart, Soul, Mind, and Strength. See also this blog series of 100 self-care ideas for heart, soul, mind, and strength: 25 Self-care Ideas for the Heart: for singles, widows, married people, and everyone 25 Self-care Ideas for the Soul: for students, ministry people, and everyone 25 Self-care Ideas for the Mind: for intellectual and mental health 25 Self-care Ideas for Strength: for our bodies
How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand— when I awake, I am still with you. —Psalm 139:17
Unto you O Lord, I lift up my soul. My God I trust in you, I shall not be ashamed. ...Lord, show me your ways and teach me your paths. Guide me in your truth and teach me, since you are the God of my salvation, and I hope in you all the day long. —Psalm 24(25)
FIRST-PERSON: Healthy habits for pastors during COVID-19 culture by Willie McLaurin, posted Monday, March 30, 2020
EDITOR'S NOTE: Willie McLaurin is vice president for Great Commission Relations and Mobilization with the Southern Baptist Convention Executive Committee.
NASHVILLE (BP) -- COVID-19 will forever change the way we do life and ministry. Change is around us in every area of life. God often uses crisis to bring about changes that were overdue in our lives. Author Tony Robbins reminds us: Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change. The coronavirus did not catch God by surprise. We must not waste this season, but we must embrace it and allow God to shape our lives for His glory. Many pastors and church leaders are past due for a RESET in their regular routine. I am convinced that we must take advantage of this season to reinvent ourselves physically, spiritually and emotionally.
Physically Let me first acknowledge that more and more pastors are taking advantage of the benefits of regular physical activity. Health professionals continue to emphasize the benefits of regular physical activity. If you are in need of a physical tune-up, then this season is perfect for you. I would encourage you to carve out time in your calendar each day to engage in physical activities.
Activities such as running, walking, cycling and body resistance training are some options in this social distancing culture. Many home media packages offer a complimentary fitness channel with a variety of routines. Use this season to hit the "Reset" button on how you honor your temple. The pressure of ministry was already off the charts in a pre COVID-19 culture. The demands of ministering in a social distancing culture can be a challenge. The ongoing pressure of perfecting online worship, meeting budget, caring for the flock and not gathering with your congregation face to face can be overwhelming. The pressures can cause ministry leaders not to set boundaries in their schedule and neglect getting proper rest. God designed us as creatures that need rest. Be sure that you set healthy boundaries for yourself. I would encourage you to have a plan for each day. Spend time each day in self-care, family time, ministry engagement and a mental health block. Be sure that your ministry engagement time includes your sermon preparation time. Some simple ways to stay connected with your congregation are writing handwritten notes, scheduling pastoral care phone calls and weekly conference calls with your church staff and key leaders. Make sure you get proper rest. Healthcare professionals recommend you getting six to eight hours of sleep per night. Get your rest -- you will never regret it.
Spiritually Pastors and leaders get busy, and in the midst of the busyness, their personal devotion life takes a back seat. Use this COVID-19 season to move your devotion life back to the driver's seat. I read a church marquee that said, "Seven days without prayer makes one weak." Jesus said it best in Luke 18:1: "And he spake a parable unto them to this end, that men ought always to pray, and not to faint." Many leaders are running on empty because their spiritual devotion is on pause. Please use this COVID-19 season to reignite your passion for being in the presence of Jesus. That time could include listening to worship music on your device or reading through a book of the Bible and spending quality time talking to your Heavenly Father. This would be a great season to begin journaling. It is often during crisis that God speaks. Capturing those thoughts would be a great benefit. Richard Baxter, the great Puritan preacher, believed ministers must be prepared for greater temptations than the average Christian. "Take heed to yourselves," he once wrote to ministers, "because the tempter will more ply you with his temptations than other men. If you will be
the leader against the prince of darkness, he will spare you no further than God restraineth him. He beareth you the greatest malice to those that are engaged to do him the greatest mischief. As he hateth Christ more than any of us, because he is the General of the field, the Captain of our salvation, and doth more than all the world besides against his kingdom; so doth he hate the leaders under him, more than the common soldier: he knows what a rout he may make among them, if the leaders fall before their eyes."
Emotionally Much has been written about the emotional health of pastors. Mental health during a socialdistancing culture is vitally important. Sitting at home can really get the best of you. I want to encourage ministry leaders and pastors to spend time engaging in a hobby. If you don't have a hobby, find one. All of us need something that occupies our mind. Since God created us to be a whole people, what we do (our will), how we think (our mind), and how we feel (our emotions) are connected. Hobbies don't simply distract us; they can change the emotional and mental chemistry of our brains. Hobbies do not have to cost a lot of money. One of my hobbies is word-search puzzles. Those books can be purchased for as little as $1. You can even download them on your device. Have fun and laugh a little during this COVID-19 season. Also, every pastor and ministry leader needs to have some friends to connect with. Make sure to spend time each week to connect with friends with whom you can share life (taking care to stay six feet apart). I have three accountability partners I connect with on a regular basis. They encourage me, challenge me and refresh me. The apostle Paul points out the priority of receiving refreshment, "May the Lord show mercy to the household of Onesiphorus, because he often refreshed me and was not ashamed of my chains" (2 Timothy 1:16). Let me encourage you to use this different season to hit the "Reset" button on your life and develop some healthy habits that will benefit you today and tomorrow. Reprinted from Baptist Press (www.baptistpress.com), news service of the Southern Baptist Convention.
10 guidelines for pastoral care during the coronavirus outbreak
How can we accompany people through this valley of anxiety, fear, and death? by Eileen R. Campbell-Reed March 10, 2020
Officials are arguing over whether the novel coronavirus has reached the level of pandemic, as outbreaks continue to spread globally. Meanwhile, religious leaders still must care for people—many of whom are feeling a rise in anxiety verging on panic. How can ministers, chaplains, counselors, and educators accompany people pastorally through this valley of anxiety, fear, and death? Here are 10 brief guidelines. 1.Monitor and follow the health guidelines. The Centers for Disease Control, the World Health Organization, and your state health department are monitoring the situation closely. Follow their guidelines. Stay healthy yourself. (Like the flight attendant says: when the oxygen masks drop, put your own mask on first before helping anyone else.) Model for others how to show up without panic. Basic and accurate information is widely available, but sometimes when anxiety is high, even looking for the basics becomes especially challenging. Providing it can be part of pastoral care. 2. Be a non-anxious presence. Even if you zoned out during your pastoral care class in seminary, you probably heard this one phrase. That’s because showing up calm, emotionally present, and free from anxiety engenders trust and provides the right kind of care in any crisis, from papercut to pandemic. For caregivers to show up non-anxiously
means managing our own feelings, so we neither try to flee the situation nor flood it with our own emotions or anxieties. People will borrow our calm and compassion to assist them in reducing their own anxieties. 3. Show up for people, even if it’s not in person. “Avoid close contact” is becoming a mantra in this crisis, especially for people over 60. Some groups of people will experience social stigma around the disease. In this age, we can show up for people digitally. It is not the same as being able to reach out and hold a hand. Yet we are fortunate to have this viable option. You are likely already connected to people on various social platforms, so use them—with care—to offer your support.
4. Listen in love. No matter what turn a crisis takes, one of the most enduring and powerful gifts we can offer is to listen. By listening we embody the love of the sacred, the love of a wider community, the love of life itself. Compassionate listening is exactly what people need when they are faced with the overwhelming, uncontrollable circumstances of a crisis. 5. Find ways to make community. The human desire to be helpful is incredibly strong. Although a crisis may lead some people to withdraw, it can also be a significant opportunity to pull together and support each other. Pastors who convey leadership and imagination can pull people together in organized, caring, and sustainable ways.
6. Help people take the long view. Find ways to remind people that God’s loving presence was here before the universe itself, and it will be here long after the universe has passed away. Seeing ourselves as part of a much larger picture offers groundedness and hope. It can help us maintain a sense of hopefulness about God’s loving presence in our lives, even when circumstances threaten to dim our hope. 7. Keep values alive. Hospice workers and chaplains often say that people die the way they lived. And while not every crisis will be a deadly one, we are all going to die. In frightening times, our job is to call on people to live into their best sense of how to be in the world. This does not mean being dishonest about a crisis and its threats. It does mean we keep leaning into God’s sustaining presence, loving our neighbors, and facing death with the same purpose and values by which we faced life. 8. Don’t be afraid to talk about death. When talking to people who are afraid, we may tap quickly into an underlying fear of death itself. When this turn in the conversation happens, don’t suppress it. Helping people grieve well—before, during, and after losses—helps them live better in every area of life. Making space to talk about death means expanding our capacities to live each moment as a gift. 9. Pray. Spoken prayers for people who are anxious and in great need can reshape a
situation’s meaning. Yet in times of trauma and crisis, using too many words can sound hollow—and prayers can come off as judgment or preachy advice. Perhaps the better path is the prayer of participation. We participate in God’s life and one another’s lives by showing up, by meditating in silence and renewing our sense of purpose, by bearing honest witness to the situation. 10. Tag out. Remember that you, too, are a finite and limited creature. Tend to your own needs. Lean into your own community for support. And take turns with others giving care. It is tempting to believe in a crisis that we must give or do everything right now. Mostly this is not possible. Sabbath is not a luxury. Self-care is not selfish. As this outbreak continues to unfold, take steps to renew your own energy and hope in the Spirit of God. As found at https://www.christiancentury.org/blog-post/guest-post/10-guidelines-pastoral-care-duringcoronavirus-outbreak April 2, 2020
For thou wilt light my candle: the LORD my God will enlighten my darkness. -Psalm 18:28
( I admit that this is not technically something that you do for yourself. However, you might want to share this article with those in the church that regularly pray for you. If you don’t have people regularly praying for you, then now is a good time to start. You can either share this magazine with them, you the link at the end of this article will take them to page on the web. -TDG)
10 WAYS TO PRAY FOR YOUR PASTOR DURING THE COVID-19 OUTBREAK By Dr. Mark A. Croston People often see pastors as strong and confident, yet most of us haven’t seen anything like what the world is currently experiencing in our lifetimes. In his work Lectures to My Students, Charles Spurgeon wrote: “As it is recorded that David, in the heat of battle, waxed faint, so may it be written of all the servants of the Lord.…Usually cheerful as we may be, we must at intervals be cast down. The strong are not always vigorous, the wise not always ready, the brave not always courageous, and the joyous not always happy. There may be here and there men of iron, …but surely the
rust frets even these… “ Please remember pastors in your prayers. Here are 10 ways to pray for your pastor during this COVID-19 season in human history.
1. PERSPECTIVE I’ve heard over and over people say about COVID-19, “This is the first time in history…” Well, it really isn’t. Just do your own search on “pandemics in history,” and you’ll see. Pray your pastor keeps this crisis in its proper perspective. “Whatever is has already been…” (Ecclesiastes 3:15a)
2. PATIENCE It may take us a while to get through this. Twenty of the most significant pandemics in world history have each taken a year or two before they were past. This one may take time, but we’ll get past it. Pray for patience. Romans 12:12 says, “Rejoice in hope; be patient in affliction; be persistent in prayer.”
3. PEACE Isaiah 26:3 encourages, “You will keep the mind that is dependent on you in perfect peace, for it is trusting in you.” Remember peace is not the absence of trouble, but confidence and calmness of body, mind, and spirit trusting in the power and grace of God. Pray that God grant a peace like Philippians 4:7 that surpasses our ability to understand.
4. PAYCHECK There are many people, families, and businesses under financial stress during this season. If members are struggling financially, the church struggles financially and sometimes the pastor along with it. Pray claiming the promise of Philippians 4:19: And my God will supply all your needs according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.
5. PARTNER The pastor is not alone. Whether good or bad, whatever affects him affects his wife as well.
Pray for your pastor’s spouse that she might be the kind of support, confidante, and companion needed during this time. Pray that “Strength and honor are her clothing, and she can laugh at the time to come” (Proverbs 31:25).
6. POSTERITY Need I mention the pastor’s children? Whether they are younger and missing school, older and missing work, or somewhere in between or maybe missing their health, the pastor can never do his best work for the community and the church while he is burdened by trying to meet the needs of his family.
7. PASTORAL SKILLS In times like this, a pastor must be both caring and daring. No seminary class has prepared us for this one. We must think out of the box about the logistics of connecting with the congregation, caring for the sick, comforting the grieving, feeding the hungry, housing the homeless, and handling the online experience too. Pray that your pastor will be more like a player-coach than a pretend Superman. There are minds in the congregation that can help him think, along with mouths, ears, hands, and feet that can help him act. Paul said, “I am able to do all things through him who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13), but he was not saying we had to do them all alone.
8. PHYSICAL WELLNESS Needless to say, when we’re sick it’s more difficult to be a help to others. Pray for your pastor to find balance, rest, good food, and his own self care. I’m often reminded that Paul, the great apostle, kept the physician Luke with him. I’m sure Dr. Luke did more than write the books of Luke and Acts. Maybe his main job was keeping Paul healthy. Sometimes our role in the expansion of the kingdom of God is caring for the one who leads us in the advance—our pastor.
9. PARISHIONERS Pray for the members of the church. Pray they remember that God is in control and that we can “cast all your cares on him, because he cares about you” (1 Peter 5:7). The pastor is always praying for the members of the church. If you would pray for them, you’re
joining in your pastor’s work, which means when you’re praying for them, you’re indirectly praying for him.
10. PREACHING This time requires a whole new kind of preaching from our pastors: preaching to empty pews; preaching to cyber-followers who may have never heard a sermon before or even stepped foot in a church; preaching to new, greater, and ever-changing needs. We need to hear a fresh word from God. We need to be reminded there’s still a balm in Gilead and that God is our light in the time of darkness. We need to know God is still a waymaker, He’s still on the throne, and that He still has all power in His hands. We need to be reminded that God has been our help in ages past and is still our hope for years to come. Pray that your pastor would not be so busy doing everything others can do, that he does not have time to do what he’s called to do, “Preach the word; be ready in season and out of season” (2 Timothy 2:4a).
DR. MARK CROSTON (@MarkCroston07) is the national director for black church partnerships at LifeWay Christian Resources. As found at https://factsandtrends.net/2020/03/26/10-ways-to-pray-for-your-pastor-during-the-covid-19outbreak/ on April 2, 2020
Self Care for Spiritual Leaders in the Era of COVID-19
I was at the breaking point. Several weeks had passed since Haiti’s January 12, 2010 earthquake where an estimated 200,000 people had died and much of Haiti’s largest city and capital, Port-auPrince, had been leveled. The preceding days were overwhelming and exhausting. Counseling the bereaved, repairing my home, stockpiling and delivering relief supplies, and searching for lost colleagues was ripping me apart on the inside. Relationships were fraying. I finally realized that if I was going to be of any use to God and my fellow human beings, I had to stop and attend to myself. Today’s COVID-19 crisis is a global trauma. People are losing their jobs, being separated from families and friends, and experiencing illness and death. In times of trauma, people look to their spiritual leaders for care and support. Spiritual leaders willingly provide that support, often with little awareness of its emotional cost and the ways in which they themselves have experienced trauma. The more pain spiritual leaders encounter, the more they pour themselves into ministry and the less they pay attention to their own well-being. Spiritual leaders will neglect rest, prayer, exercise, socializing with family friends, and even meals. The result is predictable: mental and emotional exhaustion, frayed and broken relationships, and, in some cases, substance abuse, aggression, and mental illness. If we as pastors and lay-leaders want to be a light to our churches, employees, and neighbors during these troubling times, we must heed God’s call to attend to ourselves. Yes, God calls us to pick up our crosses and follow Christ. But we must remember that Christ who died once for all on the Cross for us. God calls Christian leaders to rest in the sacrifice of the Cross even as they serve selflessly.
There are ways we can attend to ourselves as leaders during these times: First, we can make regular times of prayer and reflection a priority. Even in the midst of governmental restrictions against travel and movement, we can regularly exercise. Be creative! We can make time to share our experience of stress and trauma with friends and loved ones even while socialdistancing. This is key for emotional health. Finally, we can make space for rest and sleep. By doing these (and many others), we can be the pastors, organizational leaders, and lay-leaders God is calling us to be in these challenging times. What God will do through us will be amazing! As found at https://network.crcna.org/faith-nurture/self-care-spiritual-leaders-era-covid-19 on April 2, 2020
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." -Philippians 4:6
Taking Care of Your Emotional Health
The outbreak of coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19), may be stressful for people and communities. Learn more about coping during COVID-19. It is natural to feel stress, anxiety, grief, and worry during and after a disaster. Everyone reacts differently, and your own feelings will change over time. Notice and accept how you feel. Taking care of your emotional health during an emergency will help you think clearly and react to the urgent needs to protect yourself and your family. Self-care during an emergency will help your long-term healing. People with preexisting mental health conditions should continue with their treatment plans during an emergency and monitor for any new symptoms. Additional information can be found at the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSAexternal icon) website. •
Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration’s (SAMHSA’s) Disaster Distress Hotline: 1-800-985-5990 or text TalkWithUs to 66746. •
People with deafness or hearing loss can use their preferred relay service to call 1-800-985-5990. Take the following steps to cope with a disaster: Take care of your body– Try to eat healthy wellbalanced meals, exercise regularly, and get plenty of sleep. Avoid alcohol, tobacco, and other drugs. Learn more about wellness strategiesexternal icon for mental health. •
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Connect with others– Share your concerns and how you are feeling with a friend or family member. Maintain healthy relationships, and build a strong support system. •
Take breaks– Make time to unwind and remind yourself that strong feelings will fade. Try taking in deep breaths. Try to do activities you usually enjoy.
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Stay informed– When you feel that you are missing information, you may become more stressed or nervous. Watch, listen to, or read the news for updates from officials. Be aware that there may be rumors during a crisis, especially on social media. Always check your sources and turn to reliable sources of information like your local government authorities. •
Avoid too much exposure to news– Take breaks from watching, reading, or listening to news stories. It can be upsetting to hear about the crisis and see images repeatedly. Try to do enjoyable activities and return to normal life as much as possible and check for updates between breaks. Seek help when needed– If distress impacts activities of your daily life for several days or weeks, talk to a clergy member, counselor, or doctor, or contact the SAMHSA helpline at 1-800-985-5990. Look out for these common signs of distress: •
Feelings of numbness, disbelief, anxiety or fear.
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Changes in appetite, energy, and activity levels.
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Difficulty concentrating.
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Difficulty sleeping or nightmares and upsetting thoughts and images.
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Physical reactions, such as headaches, body pains, stomach problems, and skin rashes.
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Worsening of chronic health problems.
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Anger or short-temper.
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Increased use of alcohol, tobacco, or other drugs.
If you experience these feelings or behaviors for several days in a row and are unable to carry out normal responsibilities because of Download the fact sheet them, seek professional help. [PDF - 224K] As found at https://emergency.cdc.gov/ coping/selfcare.asp on April 2, 2020
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Helping Children Cope with Emergencies Not every pastor is going to have children in the home. For those that do, this article from the CDC can provide some guidance. You can also share this with families in your congregation via the link at the end of the article. -TDG
Regardless of your child’s age, he or she may feel upset or have other strong emotions after an emergency. Some children react right away, while others may show signs of difficulty much later. How a child reacts and the common signs of distress can vary according to the child’s age, previous experiences, and how the child typically copes with stress. Children react, in part, on what they see from the adults around them. When parents and caregivers deal with a disaster calmly and confidently, they can provide the best support for their children. Parents can be more reassuring to others around them, especially children, if they are better prepared. People can become more distressed if they see repeated images of a disaster in the media. Early on, consider limiting the amount of exposure you and your loved ones get to media coverage.
Factors that Influence the Emotional Impact on Children in Emergencies The amount of damage caused from a disaster can be overwhelming.
The destruction of homes and separation from school, family, and friends can create a great amount of stress and anxiety for children. The emotional impact of an emergency on a child depends on a child’s characteristics and experiences, the social and economic circumstances of the family and community, and the availability of local resources. Not all children respond in the same ways. Some might have more severe, longer-lasting reactions. The following specific factors may affect a child’s emotional response: • • • • • • • • • • • • •
Direct involvement with the emergency Previous traumatic or stressful event Belief that the child or a loved one may die Loss of a family member, close friend, or pet Separation from caregivers Physical injury How parents and caregivers respond Family resources Relationships and communication among family members Repeated exposure to mass media coverage of the emergency and aftermath Ongoing stress due to the change in familiar routines and living conditions Cultural differences Community resilience
What You Can Do to Help Children Cope with a Disaster Setting a good example for your children by managing your stress through healthy lifestyle choices, such as eating healthy, exercising regularly, getting plenty of sleep, and avoiding drugs and alcohol, is critical for parents and caregivers. When you are prepared, rested, and relaxed you can respond better to unexpected events and can make decisions in the best interest of your family and loved ones. The following tips can help reduce stress before, during, and after a disaster or traumatic event.
Before •
Talk to your children so that they know you are prepared to keep them safe. Review safety plans before a disaster or emergency happens. Having a plan will increase your children’s confidence and help give them a sense of control.
During •
Stay calm and reassure your children. Talk to children about what is happening in a way that they can understand. Keep it simple and appropriate for each child’s age.
After •
Provide children with opportunities to talk about what they went through or what they think about it. Encourage them to share concerns and ask questions.
You can help your children feel a sense of control and manage their feelings by encouraging them to take action directly related to the disaster. For example, children can help others after a disaster, including volunteering to help community or family members in a safe environment. Children should NOT participate in disaster cleanup activities for health and safety reasons. It is difficult to predict how some children will respond to disasters and traumatic events. Because parents, teachers, and other adults see children in different situations, it is important for them to work together to share information about how each child is coping after a traumatic event.
Common Reactions The common reactions to distress will fade over time for most children. Children who were directly exposed to a disaster can become upset again; behavior related to the event may return if they see or hear reminders of what happened. If children continue to be very upset or if their reactions hurt their schoolwork or relationships then parents may want to talk to a professional or have their children talk to someone who specializes in children’s emotional needs. Learn more about common reactions to distress:
For infants to 2 year olds Infants may become more cranky. They may cry more than usual or want to be held and cuddled more.
For 3 to 6 year olds Preschool and kindergarten children may return to behaviors they have outgrown. For example, toileting accidents, bed-wetting, or being frightened about being separated from their parents/caregivers. They may also have tantrums or a hard time sleeping.
For 7 to 10 year olds Older children may feel sad, mad, or afraid that the event will happen again. Peers may share false information; however, parents or caregivers can correct the misinformation. Older children may focus on details of the event and want to talk about it all the time or not want to talk about it at all. They may have trouble concentrating.
For preteens and teenagers Some preteens and teenagers respond to trauma by acting out. This could include reckless driving, and alcohol or drug use. Others may become afraid to leave the home. They may cut back on how much time they spend with their friends. They can feel overwhelmed by their intense emotions and feel unable to talk about them. Their emotions may lead to increased arguing and even fighting with siblings, parents/caregivers or other adults.
For special needs children Children who need continuous use of a breathing machine or are confined to a wheelchair or bed, may have stronger reactions to a threatened or actual disaster. They might have more intense distress, worry or anger than children without special needs because they have less control over day-to-day well-being than other people. The same is true for children with other physical, emotional, or intellectual limitations. Children with special needs may need extra words of reassurance, more explanations about the event, and more comfort and other positive physical contact such as hugs from loved ones.
Additional Resources For more information about how to cope with a disaster, visit the following: •
American Red Cross: Recovering After a Disaster or Emergencyexternal icon • Substance Abuse Mental Health Services Administration: Disaster Technical Assistance Centerexternal icon • National Institute of Mental Health: Coping with Traumatic Eventsexternal icon • National Child Traumatic Stress Networkexternal icon • Emergency Preparedness and You • Real Stories- Reunification Plans • Practice Parameter on Disaster Preparednessexternal icon • The Emotional Impact of Disasters on Children and Families pdf icon[6.07 MB / 43 pages]external icon • American Academy of Pediatrics: Children & Disastersexternal icon • Federal Emergency Management Agency: Coping with Disastersexternal icon • Helping Children Cope During and After a Hurricane: A Resource for Parents and Caregivers pdf icon[PDF – 822kb] As found at https://www.cdc.gov/childrenindisasters/helping-children-cope.html on April 2, 2020
This is an activity page for younger children to learn about coping after a disaster. Download and print the activity sheet [PDF – 904 KB, Print]
“Through the praise of children and infants you have established a stronghold against your enemies, to silence the foe and the avenger.” -Psalm 8:2
Helping Children Cope During and After a Hurricane: A Resource for Parents and Caregivers pdf icon[PDF – 822kb]
To learn more about how Holston Conference provides ministry to children, please follow the link below: https://www.holston.org/childrens-ministry
THE PASTOR’S SELF-CARE IN FOUR EASY STEPS Marty Duren - February 28, 2018
When I was much younger, I heard preachers say, “I’d rather burn out for God, than rust out for the devil.” It sounded true enough; but—setting aside the false dichotomy for a moment— there is no biblical basis for it. Give all for Christ? It’s there. Dying for the faith? It’s there. Spend our energy for kingdom purposes? Yes, it’s there.
Working ourselves into an early grave? Failing to take care of ourselves? Burning the candle at both ends and melting the middle? Not there. It’s clear that extreme situations call for extreme sacrifice, and in those situations believers live at the breaking point and often die there. But, most of us do not see those extremes. Rather, we give-in to outside ministry expectations, self-pressure, self-promotion, and workaholism which lead to poor health and, sometimes, early death. Self-care is not flexing in front of a mirror alternately kissing each bicep. Or, if applicable, wishing you had biceps to kiss. Self-care, rightly understood, is not an inflated sense of self-
importance, or selfishness that keeps us from serving others. Instead, self-care, is a realistic view of how to take care of the only bodies we have in this life; bodies which house our minds and our souls. Self-care is the physical, emotional, and spiritual equivalent of automobile maintenance. Change the oil, check the transmission fluid, check the air-pressure, and get weird noises checked out, then your car or truck should last. Ignore the “clunk, clunk” or the smoking tailpipe long enough and expect a costly repair later. Hopefully, the following reminders will help us not to overlook things we often do.
EAT RIGHT When I was young with light-speed metabolism, I gave not a thought to what I ate. Snickers, SweetTarts, jelly beans, you name it and I ate it. Sadly, I did not give up this diet as I got older. I have probably eaten more processed sugar in my life than all the kids at your church’s last ten Harvest Festivals. I could regularly eat a Quarter Pounder with cheese, large fry, and a drink a shake while driving a 5-speed Datsun company truck and never spill a thing or gain a pound. To put it bluntly: I treated the temple of the Holy Spirit like a restaurant dumpster. I do not have a miracle, “I started eating salads, lost weight, and feel great,” testimony. But, I am eating right because good food is the first key to good health. Hippocrates is widely quoted, Let food be thy medicine, and medicine by thy food. This is sound advice for every pastor or church leader.
EXERCISE RIGHT Wrestling with God is fine when wrestling is needed. But hiking, rowing, swimming, or simply talking with God are okay, too. After all, we only have two thighs and if God touches both of them even limping is hard to come by. You can join a gym without becoming a gym-rat. If you do not have a lot of money, a good pair of walking or running shoes are a great investment. Push-ups and sit-ups can be done in the discomfort of your own home. If you cannot buy the Charles Atlas kit once advertised in comic books, you can get a couple of dumbbells to use in the basement or bedroom. Most of us are not training for the Olympics, but we are training for long haul health. We can’t ignore it. The Bible does not talk much about exercise, but it didn’t need to. Biblical characters walked, herded, and gardened all the time. Exercise was part of life. We should, as much as
possible, adopt that mindset.
RELAX RIGHT I have openly confessed my aversion to taking a Sabbath. I am not averse because I hate a day off. I am averse because I feel guilty if I am doing nothing, and I don’t like feeling guilty. I love the idea of spending an afternoon watching college hoops, but if I am not reading a book related to ministry, or sending emails, or texting a LifeGroup leader, I feel guilty—like I am wasting time or being lazy. A day of rest does not imply a day of sleep; rest is more than that. It means to stop for a while to let your body, soul, mind, and spirit catch up with each other. Without rest we cannot recharge and without recharging we become like a spent battery: good for nothing except to be trodden under foot of man.
SLEEP RIGHT I am an early riser and, apparently, it is only getting worse the older I get. Most mornings I awake before my 4:00am alarm. Some mornings it’s an hour before. I cannot sleep-in on weekends. Only after the most strenuous weeks would I sleep until 5:00am on a Saturday.
People who talk about “getting up early today, it was like 6:00” make me laugh. To compensate for my early rising, I go to bed early. It is a running joke with my friends that any text message after 8:00 or 8:30pm may go unanswered until the next morning. Early the next morning. Sleep is essential to optimal functioning, but sometimes it is hard to come-by. During a recent busy stretch, I woke several nights in a row very, very early, my mind spinning with things needing to be done. Sleep is so important that if I wake up in the middle of the night two nights in a row, unable to go back to sleep, the third night I take a sleep aid. Certain herbal teas help me sleep well, as does melatonin. Self-care is not unspiritual or unbiblical. I argue it is both spiritual and biblical. Neither rusting out nor wearing out is of God. But, avoiding one in fear of the other is itself unwise. We should practice self-care not for fear of extremes, but because it manifests this truth: we belong to God—body, soul, mind, and spirit. And, we can love God better with each if we are taking care of them as we should. As found at https://factsandtrends.net/2018/02/28/pastors-self-care-four-easy-steps/ on April 2, 2020
Developing a Self Care Plan
A self-care plan can help you enhance your health and wellbeing, manage your stress, and maintain professionalism as a worker with young people. Learn to identify activities and practices that support your wellbeing as a professional and help you to sustain positive self-care in the long-term. This will help you to: • • •
understand self-care develop your self-care plan put your self-care plan into action.
Aspects of self-care Self-care is a personal matter. Everyone’s approach will be different. It relates to what you do at work and outside of work to look after your holistic wellbeing so that you can meet your personal and professional commitments (find out more). Below are the different aspects to self-care and example strategies that other people have found useful: • Workplace or professional • Physical
• • • •
Psychological Emotional Spiritual Relationships.
NOTE: The activities and suggestions below are a guide only and it is important to choose activities that are meaningful to yourself and your own goals. After discovering the different aspects of self-care, complete the self-care plan activity below. Workplace or professional self-care This involves activities that help you to work consistently at the professional level expected of you. For example: • engage in regular supervision or consulting with a more experienced colleague • set up a peer-support group • be strict with boundaries between clients/students and staff • read professional journals • attend professional development programs. Physical self-care Activities that help you to stay fit and healthy, and with enough energy to get through your work and personal commitments. • Develop a regular sleep routine. • Aim for a healthy diet. • Take lunch breaks. • Go for a walk at lunchtime. • Take your dog for a walk after work. • Use your sick leave. • Get some exercise before/after work regularly. Psychological self-care Activities that help you to feel clear-headed and able to intellectually engage with the professional challenges that are found in your work and personal life. • Keep a reflective journal. • Seek and engage in external supervision or regularly consult with a more experienced colleague. • Engage with a non-work hobby. • Turn off your email and work phone outside of work hours. • Make time for relaxation. • Make time to engage with positive friends and family.
Emotional self-care Allowing yourself to safely experience your full range of emotions. • Develop friendships that are supportive. • Write three good things that you did each day. • Play a sport and have a coffee together after training. • Go to the movies or do something else you enjoy. • Keep meeting with your parents' group or other social group. • Talk to you friend about how you are coping with work and life demands. Spiritual self-care This involves having a sense of perspective beyond the day-to-day of life. • Engage in reflective practices like meditation. • Go on bush walks. • Go to church/mosque/temple. • Do yoga. • Reflect with a close friend for support. Relationship self-care This is about maintaining healthy, supportive relationships, and ensuring you have diversity in your relationships so that you are not only connected to work people. • Prioritise close relationships in your life e.g. with partners, family and children. • Attend the special events of your family and friends. Arrive to work and leave on time every day. Create your own self-care plan For each category above, select at least one strategy or activity that you can undertake. You might notice areas of overlap between these categories. It is important to develop a self-care plan that is holistic and individual to you. Download the self-care plan template or create your own. Fill your self-care plan with activities that you enjoy and that support your wellbeing. Here are some suggestions. •
Keep this in a place where you can see it every day. Keeping it visible will help you to think about and commit to the strategies in your plan. You can also share it with your supervisor, colleagues friends and family so they can support you in your actions. •
Stick to your plan and practice the activities regularly. Just like an athlete doesn’t become fit by merely ‘thinking’ about fitness, as a worker you can’t expect to perform effectively without putting into practice a holistic plan for your wellbeing.
Re-assess how you are going at the end of one month and then three months. Plans can take over a month to become habits, so check-in and be realistic about your own selfcare plan. After a while, come back and complete the self-care assessment again to find out how you are going with your new habits. A word of caution: Once you have created a self-care plan it is important to ask yourself, “what might get in the way?” What can you do to remove these barriers? If you can’t remove them you might want to adjust your strategies. Think honestly about whether any of your strategies are negative and how you can adjust your plan to avoid or minimize their impact.
It can be challenging if your workplace is not supportive of self-care activities, but you can still do things outside of work to help yourself. It is import that your plan resonates for you and that you put it in to action starting now. Useful professional resources Self-care starter kit for social workers Self-care exercises and activities Staying mentally healthy and taking care of yourself at work Next steps •
Discuss your self-care plan with your supervisor/mentor and close friends and family. Review your plan after some time to check if the activities continue to suit your needs. As found at https://schools.au.reachout.com/articles/developing-a-self-care-plan on April 2, 2020
How to avoid burnout in ministry: Principles of self-care Series: MTF Core Values by MTF Communications | May 9, 2017 “Self-care is the wisdom to ensure, as far as humanly possible, a wise and orderly work that conserves and lengthens a pastor’s ministry. It means understanding the meaning of positive health and working toward it as a way of ensuring that we will remain effective in the great work God has given us to do.” -Peter Brain, Going the Distance While there may be hesitancy or cynicism with the idea of self-care, the reality is, as pastor and author Thabiti Anyabwile says, “the more your life involves you giving yourself away to others, the more necessary is self-care.” The authors of Resilient Ministry found that selfcare depends upon the connectedness between these five elements: Spiritual self-care asks where pastors derive their identity and sufficiency: from their position in the church or from their position in Christ? This dimension of self-care requires personal spiritual disciplines in the Word and prayer, not just for sermon preparation, so pastors can and will practice what they preach (1 Tim 4:6-8). With 40% of all pastors saying that it is somewhat difficult to find time to invest in their own spiritual development, this is a critical issue. (1) “Pace your life. Acknowledge your limitations. Don’t be too slow…you have a stewardship to account for (Matt 25:14-30). Don’t be too fast…we’re called to plant and water for our joy, but God makes it grow (1 Cor 3:6-7). We have to do life and ministry as humans, which means we cannot be everywhere at once (omnipresent), we cannot know all things (omniscient), and we cannot fix everything (omnipotent). Those things belong to God.” (2) Emotional self-care involves working through four key identity issues: personality, family of origin, the distinction between role and person, and comparisons to others. This process may
involve a close friend or a counselor (Phil 4:11-12; Eph 4:26). Relational self-care involves having a support system of strong, safe friends who can help and hold you accountable and who love you enough to tell you when you are wrong. This includes various levels of friends both in and out of your local church as well as your peers in ministry (Prov 17:17, 27:17). Physical self-care engenders ministry fitness. With 76% of clergy listed as either overweight or obese, we must return to rhythms of regular exercise, healthy eating and rest, including regular days off, vacations, Sabbaths and sabbaticals (1 Cor 6:19-20, 9:25-27; Prov 24:5, 31:17). With the exception of those who work in slavery-like conditions, chronic overwork arises from a disbelief in God’s provision and attempts to take matters into human hands. (3) Jesus rested. Jesus regularly got away and sought the Lord. Why do we think we don’t need to? Most of us run hard and all day long, running on empty until we breakdown where we are. And we begin to equate that as “productivity” and “hard work” when really we’ve been diminishing in productivity all the while. (4) Intellectual self-care is important because it is possible for pastors to fall into intellectual ruts and not be renewed in their minds. Dedicate time for enrichment reading, reflection, informal (leisure reading and interactions), non-formal (structured and intentional), or formal (classroom) education (1 Pet 1:13). (5) Self-care is not selfish. It is a way to address the disintegration in our lives and remain fruitful for the length of our lives. Reflect • What would help you value self-care more, even in the midst of expectations, exhaustion, and excuses? • What have been your levels of frustration, depression, and dryness this past year? What can help you manage them well? • To what extent are my needs for connection with others met? Who are my true confidants? • What is one bad habit that you would like to replace with a new routine toward better physical health? • In what areas would you like to pursue professional development? What would you hope to learn? (1) Barna, State of Pastors 2017 (2,4) Thabiti Anyabwile on Self-Care, message at MTF Twin Cities event (3) Rest & Work, Theology of Work (5) Self-Care notes adapted from ncdefca.org As found at https://www.madetoflourish.org/resources/burning-not-burning-principles-self-care/ on April 2, 2020.
FIVE FIT PRACTICES FOR CLERGY April 14th, 2016
By Todd Outcalt
In the past decade there have been several initiatives and studies centered on clergy health and wellness. Among these, a ten-year study was undertaken in North Carolina beginning in 2007 (The Clergy Health Initiative) that revealed higher than national averages of obesity, stress and diabetes among clergy. The National Clergy Renewal Program, offered through the Lilly Endowment, continues to provide up to twelve weeks of sabbatical/renewal for selected clergy across the country. These programs, and others, are also lifting up the need for clergy care — which would certainly include better practices of fitness, diet and management of stress. The United Methodist Church some years ago also instituted a nationwide Health Ministry Network (managed through the General Board of Pensions) and has established wellness programs to assist clergy in their health questions and practices. However, as all of these initiatives point out, clergy first need to have a self-awareness and a desire to live a healthy lifestyle. And lifestyle is about practices and disciplines that lead to healthy living. Here are five that can help clergy begin, and maintain, a healthy lifestyle.
Exercise For many clergy, exercise may be a frightening word. Images of world-class athletes may spring
to mind, or piles of sweat-stained clothing. Others may be frightened away by the prospect of beginning an exercise program or may feel that they are too far “out of shape” to begin. Our sports-crazed culture does not help to alleviate our fears about exercise, and often we clergy live vicariously through other athletes (or favorite sports teams) to satisfy our own sense of activity and accomplishment. But exercise can be many things; just as there are many stages of ministry and life, so it is with exercise. When I was a younger man (still in my twenties) I continued to play basketball, racquetball and even contact sports with some regularity. But as I grew older, I learned that I needed to adapt and spare my body from injury. Spending 20-30 minutes in a gym (4-5 times a week) became my go-to routine. And now that I am older yet, I have found that walking and hiking provides enough aerobic work to burn those calories and strengthen the body. Clergy, especially, have certain flexibilities of schedule that many other occupations do not have. Finding a time to exercise — in the morning, at lunch break, or even at night — is essential. Consistent walking, time on a treadmill or lifting weights can have an enormous impact on one’s health. Scheduling these self-directed exercises is just as important as scheduling a time for Bible study, sermon prep or family time. And for those clergy who feel that they lack the necessary self-discipline to oversee their own exercise routines, don’t despair. There are now thousands of health coaches and trainers across the country who can design routines for anyone at any age or station of life. These experts are not that expensive (especially when one considers the higher financial cost of chronic pain, medication or stress-related symptoms that might be relieved through consistent exercise). Clergy looking for a fit practice should first and foremost begin with exercise. Other options here could include walking, jogging, bicycling, kayaking or any number of aerobic programs that one can find in the community or on DVDs.
Diet Diet is another of those scary words. But in essence, we are always dieting (either gaining weight or losing weight through our eating habits). What we eat (and how and when we eat it) are part and parcel of our healthy practices. Of course, most people can remember learning about a healthy diet in school. Having a balanced diet with emphasis on fresh vegetables, whole grains and fresh fruits is paramount to health. But in the new era when there are so many allergies and special dietary needs, there is now an emphasis on learning about additives and how processed foods impact our overall health. Think fresh when it comes to diet. One woman in my congregation (now ninety-eight years old) has made a lifestyle from her
gardening expertise. She sees gardening as not only her path to a healthy diet, but it has also been her exercise. She has taught me much about organic gardening and the refreshment and renewal that can come from growing a portion of one’s own food. Gardening is not that time consuming, and being outside, even tending a small garden space, offers momentary relief from other worries and stresses, too. Again, like exercise, there are many expert sources that can help. There are thousands of dietary books, recipe books for healthy cooking and many options for those looking to improve their diet as a healthy practice.
Use Technology This may seem like a contradiction of terms — especially when so much of our technology leads to sedentary practices (sitting, bending, lying on the couch in front of a TV or computer screen). However, there are now many ways for clergy to use technology to a healthy advantage. Consider, for example, the new line of Fitbit® products and other types of gadgets and gizmos that can help us to monitor our steps, our heart rates and even our blood sugar levels. Many clergy are finding these bracelets and devices to be a fun and energetic way to create routine. I know some clergy who are now walking to the church office instead of driving, and others who are creating support groups designed to cheer each other on to greater levels of success. Wearing one of these monitor devices can not only be motivating, but fun. Likewise, there are now whole exercise routines that one can follow online. These videos offer energetic and creative ways to keep exercise fresh and combat boredom. New routines can be found daily online, and clergy can complete an exercise routine at home in just a few minutes. Again, even 20-30 minutes a day of vigorous activity makes a difference.
Restful Sleep Some years ago I researched and wrote an article for a fitness magazine about the importance of sleeping on a good mattress. My research also revealed that many people simply don’t get enough sleep. This lack of restful sleep can lead to other problems — among them, certain types of heart problems, stress, chronic pain and fatigue. These issues, and more, can be linked to a lack of sleep. Resting well helps clergy to work well and think well. Likewise, there is certainly a correlation between proper rest and our abilities to recuperate from exercise. For example, one needs proper rest after weight training in order for the muscles to recuperate and strengthen. The same holds true for work proper. The human body (and the mind) cannot operate at an optimal level without proper rest. Clergy looking to work harder (and smarter) would do well to monitor their sleep habits. Keep
a chart. Make sure that rest is figured into the equation of healthy and fit habits.
Play Play is different than exercise. As Dr. Leonard Sweet has pointed out in his excellent book on “re-creation,” (The Well-Played Life) we were created to participate in God’s work, not work to create God’s outcomes. Maintaining a well-played life is vital to one’s overall health and wellbeing. This sense of play should include family, friends and encompass the church as well. Where are we finding renewal? How are we best able to let go of the demands of work in order to experience ministry as “re-creation” and revival? In our work-saturated culture, others will be drawn into the abundant life that we proclaim through our witness and our testimony of God’s goodness. Clergy should always keep in mind that our efforts alone will never be good enough. God’s strength and goodness, and the grace provided through God’s love and the gifts of creation, are gospel. Healthy practices here can include regular and intentional time with family and friends, vacations, retreats, and, of course, the daily practices of laughter and appreciation of God’s good gifts. Emphasizing recreation in ministry can be a vital practice in our overall health and well-being.
Todd Outcalt is lead pastor at Calvary United Methodist Church in Brownsburg, Indiana and author of more than thirty books in six languages. He also writes for health and fitness magazines, including regular columns for Midwest Outdoors and YouthWorker Journal. He enjoys kayaking and painting, and in May of 2016 will be travelling to Spain to make pilgrimage on the Camino de Santiago. As found at https://www.ministrymatters.com/all/entry/6850/five-fit-practices-for-clergy on April 2, 2020
Healthy Self-Care: An Essential Discipline for a Pastor
ON OCTOBER 10, 2017 BY BARRYSNOTES
A pastor may be deeply committed, extraordinarily faithful, highly educated, and extremely hardworking, but for a pastor to be effective and durable, a pastor must practice healthy self-care. Self-care includes developing and maintaining good physical, spiritual and mental health practices. While these three areas of wellness are intertwined and inseparable, in my own life and the experience of many of my colleagues, I recognize that more attention has been given to physical and spiritual health, and mental health is often neglected, causing all three to diminish.
Mental health includes our emotional, psychological, and social well-being. Every human being experiences highs and lows in mental health. Although some forms of mental illness are genetic, other expressions of mental illness may be related to circumstances or body chemistry, and may be preemptively avoided or proactively addressed by practicing good mental hygiene. A common, but naïve misconception is that pastors, or persons with strong religious faith, are exempt from mental distress. The Apostle Paul is noted for his courageous ministry but he confessed, “Besides everything else, I face daily the pressure of my concern for all the churches” (II Corinthians 11:28 NIV). In his book, Surviving the Stained-Glass Jungle, veteran pastor Dr. Bill Self contends that, “Selfcare is not destructive self-indulgence, but rather it is being a steward of some rather special gifts— the human body and soul, along with the capacity to bring joy to others as well as to experience it.” Those in every vocation experience varying levels of stress, distress, and duress. However, because the pastoral task requires remarkable investment in the lives of others, a pastor who neglects mental hygiene can gradually slip into a state of melancholy or emotional chaos, and then compound the dilemma by ignoring the symptoms for fear of stigmatizing his or her ministry.
I have observed at least five areas that commonly place stress on a pastor’s mental and emotional health: Unrealistic expectations– These expectations can be real or perceived, and they can be generated by vocal congregants or be self-imposed by a minister with a “messiah complex.” Within most congregations there are mix of expectations that fluctuate between market-driven goals (e.g., attendance, budgets, denominational recognition) and missiondriven goals (e.g., life transformation, ministry participation, stewardship practices). The wider the gap between these two categories, the more intense the stress on the minister. Perpetual preparation– The task of perpetual preparation can be a mentally exhausting chore. Many professional public speakers have 4-5 niche speeches that they give over and over to different groups. Professors and teachers have lectures and lesson plans that are updated and revised from semester to semester but they usually follow a core curriculum. A preaching pastor is unique in that he or she is generally expected to prepare and deliver 40-50 different Sunday sermons per year to virtually the same group of people, in addition to devotionals, Bible studies, and speeches for community events. A pendulum of emotional encounters- A minister deals with grief, grace, and everything in between on a daily basis. Perhaps more than any other vocation, a pastor regularly moves in and out of situations with polarizing and intense emotions such as death and birth, divorce and marriage, perversion and conversion, and conflict and resolution. If a pastor is not careful, the residual emotions from these encounters will linger and intermingle creating either emotional apathy or spiritual neuropathy. Problem people- Not to be confused with people with problems, problem people are unusually high maintenance individuals who consume an exorbitant amount of a minister’s time with petty complaints or unconstructive criticisms. Marshall Shelley refers to these “wellintentioned dragons” as “sincere, well-meaning saints, but they leave ulcers, strained relationships, and hard feelings in their wake.” Confidentiality cache- Because the pastoral role is not only prophetic but also priestly, a pastor is entrusted with a lot of confidential information that is locked away into a pastor’s mental storage. The volume of this information can become a heavy emotional weight if it remains in a pastor’s mental inbox and is not appropriately archived. In light of these factors, how can a pastor preserve good health and promote longevity in ministry by practicing good mental and emotional hygiene? Each pastor has to identify and adopt hygienic habits that fit his or her context and personality. Here are some practices I found to be helpful in my own pastoral routine: •
Establish and maintain a consistent prayer and devotional life.
•
Maintain a relationship with a counselor or trustworthy conversation partner, outside of your church.
•
Convene a small accountability group, establish a confidentiality covenant with them, and
meet with them monthly. •
Read regularly in multiple genres including biography, history, and fiction.
•
Pay attention to diet, especially limiting intake of sugar, caffeine, and other foods that can trigger emotional swings.
•
Develop a regimen of moderate physical exercise.
•
Follow a consistent routine for sleep and rest.
•
Periodically disconnect from the work of the church, especially from mental labor (problem solving, conflict management), cellphone calls, and social media.
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Have an annual physical examination, as well as eye examination and dermatology screening.
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Participate in a peer network of pastors who convene with a covenant of confidentiality, and who vent and vision together.
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Learn to delegate, equipping and enabling others to employ their spiritual gifts.
Be alert to seasons when your mental distress leads to dysfunction, manifested by ongoing and overwhelming symptoms of depression, chronic anxiety, paranoia, and/or insomnia. Immediately enlist the care of a medical professional. To procrastinate getting care prolongs the process of recovery. Life in the stained-glass jungle has unique rewards and challenges. Self-care is absolutely essential. Bill Self reminds us that, “It takes courage to take care of yourself. One of the hallmarks of a professional is the ability to keep healthy— physically, emotionally, and spiritually. You must take responsibility for yourself and not expect others to take the initiative to care for you.” Practicing good self-care can strengthen and lengthen a pastor’s ministry, empowering a pastor to be mentally sharp, emotionally perceptive, and spiritually grounded in all seasons. (Barry Howard lives in Pensacola, Florida and serves as a clergy coach and congregational consultant with the Center for Healthy Churches.) As found at https://barrysnotes.wordpress.com/2017/10/10/healthy-self-care-an-essential-discipline-for-apastor/ on April 2, 2020
Thank you for reading this magazine. You deserve a reward. For reading this magazine, you can be awarded .1 CEU’s. Please contact Sue Weber at sueweber@holston.org. Tell her that you read the magazine Pastoral Self Care in a Time of Crisis to receive the CEU. --TDG
“The joy of the Lord is your strength.” Nehemiah 8:10
