Honi Soit - Week 11, Semester 1, 2012

HONISOIT

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ELECTION EDITION

Week Eleven May 23

The best creative writing from the Literary Society

USU Decides: This year’s candidates go into battle

What does the rise of the far-right mean for Europe?

LITERARY SUPPLEMENT

USU ELECTION SPECIAL

FEATURE

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Contents THIS WEEK

12 Profile 13 USU Election Special

Dan Zwi talks music and depression with Sydney producer Dro Carey

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How did the candidates fare on the Honi Soit union quiz? How do they stack up on politics, personality and policy? A special 3-page report

16 Third Drawer 17 Taboo

Dominic Wilcox wants to STOP THE CUTS at Railcorp Victoria Lui wonders why women and comic books supposedly don’t mix and Nathan Olivieri reviews Sacha Baron Cohen’s latest film, The Dictator

10 Feature

Are the Eurozone tensions playing straight into the hands of the far-right? Jackson Busse reports

The best poetry and prose from Sydney University’s Literary Society

Rob North reviews the new, Xbox 360 version of Minecraft

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Action-Reaction

Lane Sainty discusses the cute but notso-cuddly Kodiak bear

We acknowledge the traditional owners of this land, the Gadigal people of the Eora nation. We stand here today as the beneficiaries of a racist and unreconciled dispossession.

We recognise both our privilege and our obligation to remember the mistakes of the past, act on the problems of today and build a future free from discrimination.

Planner WED Speakers Program: Professor Gostin 6pm, The Foyer, Sydney Law School, $10

Professor Gostin, the Director of the World Health Organisation’s Collaborating Centre on Public Health Law and Human Rights, discusses President Obama’s Health Care Reform, the Supreme Court and the future of the American Health System.

FrenchSoc’s Wine and Cheese Night 7:30pm, Isabel Fidler Room, $10 members, $15, Access, $25 non-Access

Bringing a little bit of France to Sydney Uni, Frenchsoc is thowing a huge event that is like no other! There’s a raffle with fantastic prizes ranging from French lessons to audio packs to Parisian guide books. With thousands of dollars worth of cheese and wine, it is well worth every cent you pay!

Contributors: Rob Boncardo, Erima Dall, Gabby Florek, Misha Hardwick, Bianca Healey, Sam Lewin, Nathan McDonell, Nathan Olivieri, Mariana Podesta-Diverio, David Potter, Genevieve Stewart, Imogen Szumer, Lucas Tooth, Elena Zagoudis Crossword: Ghoti Cover: Bryant Apolonio Advertising: Amanda LeMay and Rebecca Murr publications.manager@src.usyd.edu.au Disclaimer: Honi Soit is published by the Students’ Representative Council, University of Sydney, Level 1 Wentworth Building, City Road, University of Sydney, NSW, 2006. The SRC’s operation costs, space and administrative support are financed by the University of Sydney. The editors of Honi Soit and the SRC acknowledge the traditional owners of this land, the Gadigal people of the Eora nation. Honi Soit is written, printed, and distributed on Aboriginal land. Honi Soit is printed under the auspices of the SRC’s directors of student publications: Rafi Alam, Peta Borella, Michael de Waal, Eleanor Gordon-Smith, Jeremy Leith, Leo Nelson, Astha Rajvanshi and Max Schintler. All expressions are published on the basis that they are not to be regarded as the opinions of the SRC unless specifically stated. The Council accepts no responsibility for the accuracy of any of the opinions or information contained within this newspaper, nor does it endorse any of the advertisements and insertions. Printed by MPD, Unit E1 46-62 Maddox St. Alexandria NSW 2015.

Honi’s Guide to what’s on THU

FRI

The Transit of Venus - Opening Night 6pm, Tin Sheds Gallery, City Rd, FREE

Schools Reconciliation Challenge

June 6, 2012, marks the second anniversary of the Transit of Venus since Australia was colonised in 1788. This rare astrological event led Captain Cook to Tahiti and has inspired Daniel Boyd’s exploration into Indigenous and non-Indigenous understandings of the universe.

An annual event looking at art and reconciliation through the eyes of young people. The Stiff Gins will also perform. If you can’t make this event then head along to the Sorry Day commemoration on Saturday 26th May, acknowledging members of the Stolen Generation.

Mamak Night 2012 6:30pm, Manning, $1, $2, $12

Vivid Sydney - Opening Night 6pm, Various Sydney Locations, FREE

Mamak Night is simply a feast of the senses including Nasi Briyani, Mee Goreng Mamak and Roti Canai with Vegetable Dhal.

There is even FREE Ben & Jerry’s ice cream for the FIRST 300 peeps. Don’t be the awkward one out when everyone is telling their grandkids about this.

From huge 3D mapped projections on the Sydney Opera House and Museum of Contemporary Art Australia to interactive light art sculptures, giant glowing dandelions and fibre-optic sea grass, this year’s lighting at Vivid Sydney will once again transform Sydney into a colourful playground of light.

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SAT

Editor in Chief: Richard Withers

Natasha talks stripping in Lifehacker and the EAG respond

20 Tech & Online

7 8 Culture Vulture

Sandstone Report

Reporters: Bryant Apolonio, Jackson Busse, Cameron Caccamo, Max Chalmers, Darcy Gray, William Haines, Aran Hirsh, Joseph Istiphan, Victoria Lui, Rob North, Justin Pen, Nick Rowbotham, Lane Sainty, Joseph Wang, Dan Zw i

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Op-Shop

Lecture Notes

The ‘Let it Joe’ campaign heats up

18 Literary Supplement

Joseph Wang sends in an update on the Fisher situation

SRC Pages

Editors: James Alexander, Hannah Bruce, Bebe D’Souza, Paul Ellis, Jack Gow, Michael Koziol, James O’Doherty, Rosie Marks-Smith, Kira Spucys-Tahar, Connie Ye

3 Spam

From vomit-stained papers to debate over college culture, it all comes out in this week’s letters

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6pm, the Australian Museum, FREE

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Sydney Craft Beer and Cider Fair 12pm, The Oak Barrel, Sydney CBD, $35-$45

Annandale Music Markets 11am, The Annandale, FREE

Photo & Art Student Exhibition

The Oak Barrel Liquor Store will be launching the Sydney Craft Beer and Cider Fair, an annual indoor event showcasing international and Australian craft beer and cider.

With 30 years supporting live music under their belt, Sydney’s favourite dirty pub is holding the only exclusively music related markets in town. Treasures to be found include vinyls, CD’s, T-shirts, instruments, posters, photos and memorabilia. Plus live bands and DJs, $4.50 tap drinks and The Annandale’s very own Pubcha, *Yum Cha with a Twist!*

Submissions close today for the University of Sydney Photo and Art Exhibition run by the FineArtSoc and PhotoSoc. Great opportunity for budding artists and photographers.

Eurovision Screening and Party

An annual charity auction extravaganza to help raise vital funds for education in developing countries such as East Timor, Papua New Guinea and Cambodia, with all Union Board candidates up for auction. There will also be free drinks for the first 50 Access cardholders PLUS there will be free pizza.

Backstreet Boys LIVE! 8pm, Allphones Arena, $99-$350 After being hassled by fans for years, BSB and New Kids on the Block are finally touring Australia, fo realz. These guys will show One Direction how it’s done. Get your tix fast!

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7pm, Hermann’s Bar, FREE for Access You know you want to. This year it will be held in Baku, Azerbaijan.

@honi_soit

Tues, Online, FREE, $6 non-Access

Oaktree Society Charity Auction Mon, 6:30pm, Hermann’s Bar, FREE

Spam LETTERS

Student conduct addressed Hugo Rourke Senior Student, St Paul’s College Dear Honi, Thanks for alerting us to Mr Lee’s concerns (“ANZAC Day antics gone awry”, May 16). I can assure your readership that the 201 College residents, who were not in his taxi, agree with the driver that the conduct of the three men in question was completely unacceptable. Their actions, as reported, were a long way from College’s clearly stated standards of reasonable behaviour Subsequently, direct contact with and apologies to the driver have been made and we have endeavoured to fully address all the issues raised.

College hijinks or new low?

Alex McKinnon Arts III Dear Honi, Back in O-Week a first-year St John’s girl was hospitalised after being coerced into drinking a cocktail of alcohol, dog food and shampoo whilst on her knees by her fellow college-goers in what we’ll call a ‘hazing ritual’ (it reads better than ‘institutionalised assault’).

In an unrelated article in last week’s Honi, editor Paul Ellis remarked that “the amazing and dangerous thing about college students is that, with a few exceptions, they do what they’re told (on your knees, fResher!)”.

It was not the first snide reference Honi has made to the incident; Week 4’s ‘Sandstone Report’ featured a “College Dinner Cocktail Menu” with cocktails such as “Bed and Shoulders” and “Pants-off Pro-V,” which apparently cost the drinker their “virginity” and “self-respect”.

While I enjoy implied rape jokes as much as the next misogynist fuckhead, something larger is wrong here. What’s really interesting is that Honi’s original article on the incident (“Trouble in the sandstone citadel”, Week 3) doesn’t mention a shampoo/dog food cocktail at all; editor Kira Spucys-Tahar wrote that the drink was “mixed with other substances but nothing illegal”.

Technically you’re right, Kira; shampoo is not an illegal substance. Neither is dog food. Putting them in someone’s drink is, though.

Why did Honi, despite obviously knowing about the shampoo, decline to mention it in the article only to jokingly hint at it weeks later? Does it have something to do with the ludicrously biased tone of that original article, which starts with the sentence “Another week, another attack against St. John’s College” and goes on to imply that the girl ingested the poisonous cocktail “knowingly and willingly”?

Is there some conflict of interest here we haven’t been told about? If so, what?

The best part about this whole thing is what kind of message this sends to female students, inside college and out.

Based on Honi’s track record thus far, if you’re harassed or bullied on a college campus, not only will the student newspaper meant to fight for you make jokes at your expense; it just might knowingly mislead readers to make the perpetrators sound like the good guys.

And the victims? Well, they were there “knowingly and willingly,” weren’t they? Practically asking for it.

White Ribbon experience a cultural shift Martin Seneviratne Grad Med II Dear Honi, The anonymous article “College Sexism: Exposed” (May 9) in Women’s Honi spoke disparagingly of the relationship between St Paul’s College and the White Ribbon Foundation (an anti-domestic violence campaign): “St Paul’s recently donated thousands of dollars to the White Ribbon Foundation, but have they changed anything within their own college?”

I am a fifth year resident of St Paul’s and, for the last three years, I have coordinated our involvement with White Ribbon. For the record, our commitment goes far beyond fundraising: we hold an annual White Ribbon Dinner, accompanied by a discussion forum (last year led by Adam Spencer) where men are encouraged to sign the White Ribbon Oath. Teams of Paul’s men have volunteered at White Ribbon events in Town Hall and Parliament House. Three College men are officially recognized as White Ribbon Ambassadors; and the USyd White Ribbon Club was started by a Pauline. These tangible events reflect very real cultural shifts in how College men see the issue of sexual discrimination.

There is room for improvement university-wide, but here is an example of Colleges moving forward constructively.

Game of Cronies Nathan Li Arts/Law IV Dear Honi, I’d like to commend you guys for a remarkably accurate depiction of the state of student politics at Sydney.

I completely agree that I’m the sexiest and most charming candidate for the throne. Given my death, I’d like to impart a few words to mark my epitaph (to which union board candidates should pay particularly close heed): Beware of the people who offer you their support - the treacherous man must get behind you first in order to stab you in the back.

My only grievance with your representation of me is that I never did get to have the sexytimes with my hunky knight before I died. But in all, I’m quite chuffed and I wish you all the best.

Too right on cuts Adam Adelpour Masters of Fine Arts Dear Honi, As you know, last Monday a desperate uni management sent in riot police to smash a sit-in launched by students in defence of both the quality of their education and the jobs of hundreds of staff. I opened the following weeks edition of Honi looking forward to seeing a student alternative to the ill-informed and hostile mainstream media coverage of the protest.

However, I was sickened to find that not only was the largest single featured response to those events given to the management, but that much of the remaining coverage was given to marginal right-wingers whose pro-cuts stance is as hysterical as it is unrepresentative of the 97 per cent of students who opposed the cuts in the recent referendum.

After wiping the vomit from my chin with said Honi pages, I was nevertheless heartened by the fact that management had resorted to using the student newspaper in an attempt to clean up their deservedly soiled reputation. This is a testament to the effectiveness of a broad based and militant campaign which has forced them to remove scores of academics from their hit-list; a campaign which, unlike Honi, is for students and against the management.

Non-autonomy is the future Josh Sprake Arts II Dear Honi, Re: Women’s Honi. Ms Brooks had an excellent point in her article on autonomy. I agree with her that environment and marriage equality have been placed in the forefront of debate and is achieving results whereas women’s issues have been placed in the peripherals. I believe that a reason for this are the negative connotations attached to feminism, which includes the push for autonomy. The reason environmentalists and queer-activists have been successful by comparison is by the inclusiveness of the debate.

All people are engaging in the debate and all people are encouraged become involved in as much or as little as possible.

Part of this comes down to the contact theory, which is that equal-status contact with minority groups, and the majority will breed understanding and acceptance. I believe it is vital for this new era of feminism that sympathetic men are brought into the fold if greater change is to occur. Change will happen when men start becoming more involved in the movement and it becomes more acceptable for men to become involved.

At the moment it is difficult to find a forum for men to discuss these issues, they aren’t welcome in many feminist movements, wouldn’t be able to discuss it with most men and many women get defensive when men try to get involved.

facebook.com/honisoitsydney

EDITORIAL

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nother extended edition has proven beyond any reasonable doubt that there, in fact, is a clear and very logical correlation between running extra pages and enduring multiple sleepless nights. In my delirium, a nauseating sense of optimism has allowed me to maintain the hope that reading Honi this week will provide you with the fuel to spark, motivate and inspire conversations that continue well after this paper has been put down.

In this edition we hone in on the Union candidates, with an offering of graphs, quotes, odds, election quiz results and details from interviews conducted during the early days of the campaign. You’ll be taken on a journey to Europe before returning to experience everything from Kodiak bears to poetry and prose from the university’s Literary Society.

This Sunday also marks the beginning of National Reconciliation Week.

This dreadfully neglected cause, so easily overshadowed by national holidays consumed with unbridled, patriotic celebrations that continue to register far greater significance, will again push for its rightful place on our calendars. The University of Sydney fosters an incredibly diverse student community, both young and old, of open-minded individuals who hold the privileged position of being able to thoughtfully generate constructive change. Reconciliation Week grants us the opportunity to enter into a dialogue with those who dedicate themselves toward the cultivation of necessary social change, to recognise the very real and current issues affecting our unreconciled country and to acknowledge the custodianship of this land’s true and traditional owners.

Richard Withers

Mr F-E and Ms O’Brien explored this idea in their articles.

The reason why the marriage-equality movement has been so successful is because it has called upon people of all walks of life and sexual persuasions to join the cause and have a position. The feminist movement needs to become more inclusive of men and encourage them to become involved and defend a very worthy cause; part of this, to my mind, is through examining the idea of autonomy. I think many pro-autonomy feminists would be startled by the positive contribution men can provide.

Correction: Week 10, May 16, “Performance Review”, failed to contain Brigid Dixon’s answer to question 1, ‘Which campaign promises have you helped achieve?’. Ms Dixon’s answer is as follows: “At this stage none. I am totally aware of that and I am working to remedy it. There are a few reasons why which I will explain below and there are a few things that I have achieved which I believe people would have expected when they voted for me...

1. I could say more electronic noticeboards but that was something that was brought in by facilities prior to my arrival. Amongst my workstreams I am looking at ways for us to communicate better with students with the noticeboards and outward facing point of sale screens.

2. A bunch of things I learnt during and campaigned for have come in handy with the Are You With Us campaign - I think it was always good to remember that not EVERYONE even knows who the USU is!”

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Campus WEEKLY NEWS

Spence releases the hounds

Nathan McDonnell contemplated the fate of our university in the back of a paddy wagon

Apart from the cops and robbers games of my childhood, I have never been arrested before. Yet this is indeed what happened to me on May 7 at the peaceful and legal protest against staff cuts. On that day, 25 riot police violently assaulted students. They threw ladies to the ground and pulled their hair, wristlocked students, and even choked one by his neck for all to see on YouTube and national news.

Along with two other students, I was randomly chosen to be arrested.

My wrists were painfully locked, I was handcuffed and forced into a seatbeltless, claustrophobic, white, plastic capsule of a paddy wagon and transported to the basement of Newtown Police Station.

There I was made to remove my shoes, belt, and jacket, and wait three hours in a cold holding cell where, discussing Tolstoy with another arrested student, I watched incompetent junior officers do my paperwork. We were, of course, all released without charges.

A true statesman shines at St Paul’s

He may be leaving Canberra, but Bob Brown has his sights set on the globe, writes Michael Koziol Senator Bob Brown’s endless optimism is perhaps one of the true mainstays of modern Australian politics. For a man who has served a life sentence in the public domain, fighting against persistent greed, corporatism, and homophobia, it is something of a wonder that his rosetinted glasses remain so bright.

Senator Brown’s intimate talk at the St Paul’s Medical Dinner on Thursday last week was light on medicine, but it reminded us of his early years saving lives on the Hobart ambulance rounds.

And he would not forget the formative lesson from that time tending to patients: “Take a history. Listen to what people have to say.” It has informed his politics ever since.

In his first major speech since announcing his retirement, the senator, who will leave office on June 15, shared the improbable story of how he unwittingly became the first person in the Commonwealth to legislate for the

criminalisation of lesbianism. Amid the amending of Tasmania’s criminal code to become gender neutral, the only exemption proposed by the parliament was Section 122 – which outlawed sodomy. In a moment of exuberant genius, Brown moved that this section also be made gender neutral – to his mind, nullifying the act. But the amendment passed and horrifically, accidentally, lesbian sex became a crime.

Bob Brown then adopted the wonderful position of having to lobby against his own amendment in the Tasmanian upper house. Ultimately, it was never enacted in to law.

And so the fight has gone on – not angrily, not bitterly, not even temperamentally, but steadily and stoically, and not without victories. The long march against global warming, and what he sees as the undervaluing of our ecosystem, continues.

On May 7, this heartless, patronising corporate executive proved that in order to transform our university into an undemocratic corporate publishing machine with overworked staff fearful for their jobs, he is fully prepared to use physical violence on his own students.

What have things come to when the million-dollar salaried VC forces through unjust staff and course cuts and then orders 25 NSW riot police on to campus to crush the peaceful and righteous objections of students?

Redundancies on the one hand, and arrests on the other. Economic vandalism on the one hand and physical violence on the other. A financial manager on the one hand, a gangster mafia boss on the other.

Our Mandarin-speaking Vice Chancellor would do well to learn from Lao Tze: ‘Violence, even well intentioned, always rebounds upon oneself’.

Nathan McDonnell is a member of the Education Action Group, organisers of the May 7 protest

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He is leaving politics to talk more about the big issues – the human community, globalism, and the need to save the planet for future generations.

The big challenges in the next 30 years, he says, will be finding space for solitude in the world, protecting the Great Barrier Reef and systems like it, security and nuclear weapons, and ensuring the rights of children.

But above all the challenge will be learning to share. Senator Brown, perhaps more than any intellectual I’ve recently heard, appreciates the importance of this change. It’s about welcoming our fellow humans in China, India, and Africa in to the global middleclass, but in a sustainable way. It’s about “not considering ourselves superior because we’re wealthier”.

And welcoming them also in to the folds of democracy, which Senator Brown speaks of lovingly but not pathetically. “Democracies are about getting people to talk to each other and accept losing,” he says.

We shouldn’t be shocked at the thuggish violence of those robots in blue pyjamas. What should shock us is that the dictatorial tendencies of the Vice-Chancellor, Dr Michael Spence, have not only exhausted the university’s annual security budget in three months (and threatened to make the SRC fund it), but allowed riot police on to campus grounds to confront a perfectly legal and peaceful student protest.

I sincerely believe in the radical spiritual command ‘love your enemies’, and so I am not one for violence, opposing all the military, economic, and ecological violences that are businessas-usual in the modern world. But does Dr Spence, an oboe-playing Anglican priest and father of five, share the same principle? Certainly not.

It is clear from some audience questions that Bob Brown hasn’t won the philosophical battle even among this generation. “There is an intrinsic value of the environment,” Brown responds to a student who questions it. “But we can’t quantify it, it’s like love, or beauty, or wildness.”

Bob Brown has lost countless times in his quest to change Australian politics, but the good fight will continue outside the parliament. That tireless optimism will remain undiminished. He quotes, in closing, the great Emma Goldman: Bob Brown, right, is leaving parliament to spend more time with his partner, Paul. Photo: ABC

“I don’t want your revolution if I can’t dance.” Indeed.

Update: the future of Fisher Joseph Wang finds his inner bookworm Since opening in 1963, Fisher Library has served as a central destination for study and research on campus. The three-fold growth in student numbers, however, has put a significant strain on the dated infrastructure. In light of this, the university applied for and received Federal Government grants to undertake a major redevelopment of the library, which will address the increased demand for study spaces and modern facilities.

The upgrades to the former undergraduate wing (now Fisher North) and the nine levels of the stack (now Fisher South) will see the construction of new lifts, toilets, air conditioning, computers, power outlets, and several hundred more seats and tables. Each floor will have its own unique design, with one of the original Fisher architects, Ken Woolley, having assisted during the consultation process.

Fisher North (short side)

Level 1 is the new home of the Rare Books & Special Collections Library and microform collection, along with new staff spaces. During the course of the redevelopment, more than 20,000 books were found in the general collection and reclassified as a ‘rare’ book.

Level 1 will also feature a restored printing press and a media room with cable TV. Level 2 (open since May 7) is reminiscent of the other new Learning Hubs in Carslaw and PNR. As a digital learning and teaching space, the crimsonthemed floor consists of training rooms with computers, “pods” (tables of 5 with 64-inch touchscreen TVs and laptop compatibility), meeting rooms, and whiteboard marker-friendly glass walls.

Level 2 will also be the location of the restored exhibition cases. The Sydney College of the Arts will be curating a portion of these, with student art to be put on display.

Level 3 (opening early June) will contain the relocated Fisher 2 Hour Collection (formerly Fisher Reserve), an ICT services centre, and a new Access Lab of computers.

Level 4 (opening early June) will bring the much-anticipated quiet study areas with a host of individuallypartitioned glass desks. The floor will boast a soothing green colour scheme, complemented by views overlooking the treetops of Victoria Park.

@honi_soit

Fisher South (tall side) Level 3 (opening July) is being transformed into a 24-hour study zone, complete with assistive technology rooms, a parenting room and a cafe.

Level 6 and 8 will hold all of the research collection (including the Fisher East Asian Collection and Fisher Curriculum) while the construction continues. Infrequently borrowed items are being stored off-site, and are available upon request.

Once the construction is complete, levels 4-9 will house the research collection on lower-height shelving (similar to SciTech Library) to facilitate wheelchair access and address OH&S concerns. Each floor will also feature a quiet study area with views of the city.

A new elevator is currently being constructed that will run through Fisher South to assist in alleviating the current elevator congestion.

All construction work is expected to be completed by October. Ongoing updates on the project will be published via the Library website.

Joseph Wang is a reporter for Honi and Fisher Library employee

Campus HONILEAKS All your university gossip, rumours, allegations, and revelations with Kira Spucys-Tahar

OPINION: USU ELECTION

Uninspiring candidates - we’ve seen it all before

There is a distinct lack of original policy in this election campaign, writes Cameron Caccamo

The Clubs and Societies Committee has made a ruling on the results of the University of Sydney Economics Society (EcoSoc) Annual General Meeting. The decision still needs to be approved by the USU Board, but Honi understands the C&S Committee will recommend the AGM be held for a third time, later this semester.

In 2011, the Union Board election was characterised by a single issue: the continuing negotiations between the university and the USU regarding ownership of commercial outlets on campus. A common theme was whether candidates would and could negotiate with the university well enough to ‘save’ the union. This diminished the individuality of each candidate. This year, however, there is a different key issue.

After two hearings of the Committee, members were unable to find fault with the conduct of candidates in regards to stacking at the EcoSoc AGM, but labelled proceedings “unfair”. Honi understands it was a case of conflicting verbal evidence that led to the outcome.

Members of the previous elected executive contested the results of the second AGM amid allegations that stacking took place under the key conservative player James McLean in his bid for the society presidency.

‘Universal Access’ provision has been raised as a policy by every single candidate (so every student gets an Access card and union membership for free). It’s easy to see why: being able to say “I’ll save you $110” is rather persuasive to the average union member, and this belies the true appeal of the scheme - to get more people involved in the union. With the introduction of the SSAF (that extra $131 you paid this semester) it makes sense that this money contributes to a ‘free’ Access card.

There are no firm USU regulations against stacking of members at meetings.

The problem here is that a universal Access scheme is already being pursued by the Union Board. It was announced in November last year; it’s on the board’s blog page. So, essentially, we have seven candidates running on a policy which is already happening. What’s more is that these candidates have put this policy front and centre of their online and

Third time’s the charm?

It seems the Committee used its discretion in relation to the matter. When informed by Honi of the Committee’s decision, Mr McLean noted, “it would be exceptionally disappointing if the Committee were to depart from the established regulations and deliver a decision based on arbitrary considerations of self-interest.”

The complaints appear to have held sway with the Committee, which begs the question of the legitimacy of other AGMs that may have taken place along with accusations of stacking.

What’s left of the Right at UNSW? A controversial event took place on Tuesday May 22 at the University of New South Wales. The Liberal club was due to hold its Annual General Meeting to elect a new executive for the coming year.

physical presence, with A-frames and lecture bashing by certain candidates pushing this as their primary focus.

Yawn.

Let’s face it: as reported in Honi last week, policy is not considered as significant in these elections. Most are rehashes of policies of the year prior.

An open-air cinema was promised by Zac Thompson, and now again by John Harding-Easson and Sophie Stanton.

Brigid Dixon and Tom Raue have both promised campus grocery stores. Popup outdoor bars were promised by Mr Thompson, and now by Vale Sloane.

Thai on campus was promised by several candidates, and again this year.

Promised policies might already be on the way, like Jacqui Munro’s / Nick Coffman’s USU smartphone app. As seen on candidate Facebook pages, other policies raise questions over their validity and practicality. Clearly, policy development and originality has not been deemed as vital.

Last week’s soapbox was a chance for candidates to show what their online campaigns and policies thus far hadn’t: their vision for the union.

While there existed the opportunity for candidates to show off their knowledge of the union’s financial position (such as Hannah Morris) and

their public speaking ability (such as Mr Sloane), it was the overarching vision of where candidates would take the union that should have taken precedence. Mr Raue, to his credit, did have a consistent vision throughout the online campaign and the soapbox that was in tune with his left-wing stance.

Ms Stanton tried to paint herself as a representative of the disengaged - quite how you can represent students that are not union members while being a director of the union was not made entirely clear.

Mr Coffman emphasised USU-student communication and college integration.

Others simply trotted out their policy statements and slogans, under the vision of ‘improving student life on campus, with varying degrees of success. Mr Harding-Easson shunned ideology altogether, asking students to vote for him “because he’s competent”.

That last point is an important one; many candidates, and many more voters, are simply running on this idea of competency, happy to spruik their long list of credentials. Having competent directors is, undoubtedly, an important concern. The cost of this importance seems to be the dropping of proper policy development and cohesive vision for the union by most of the candidates.

ELECTION STATS

USU Elections week 1 statistics In association with the University of Sydney Statistics Society (StatSoc), Honi Soit helped conduct a poll with a series of questions relating to the upcoming union board elections. After the first week of campaigning, there were 340 respondents from a variety of faculties and year groups. Full results are available at: www.sydneyunistatsoc.org

Current preferred first candiate

Most visible campaign Percentage of voters who ranked exposure to candidates in their top two

The club is considered the last vestige of hard-right power within the student Liberal movement, controlled

by President Nick Kaurin, a staffer for the MLC David Clarke. Rumour has it members of the Liberal left aligned with Federal MP Alex Hawke are attempting a takeover in order to combat factionalism within the party.

As Honi went to print, the outcome was unknown, but in a close call, it was likely the left and centre right were going to take control of the club.

Representatives of both factions estimated there would be “easily over 200 members” present at the meeting.

According to 2011 statistics, the AGM attracted approximately 20 students.

An attempted takeover took place last year at the University of Sydney where the Liberal Club AGM had to be postponed amid allegations of factional stacking, with the far right attempting a takeover from the moderates. President of the Sydney University Liberal Club, Alex Dore said: “The key message Liberal clubs should take away is to be active and engage with students at university.”

28% percent of respondents do not know who their first preference will be.

Factors influencing vote The following factors will influence my vote:

Top reason for not voting was ‘Don’t care who is on the Union Board’

facebook.com/honisoitsydney

Most popular slogans

#1 Get Hans On! #2 KChau! #3 You’ve Got Vale #4 Get Your John On! #5 Sophresh! #6 Pow! For Raue #7 The Coff honi soit

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News Review EUROTRASH?

The show goes on

Eurovision powers ahead with characteristic bombast, writes Nick Rowbotham The Eurovision song contest is one of the more bizarre spectacles on the international calendar. This year’s installment, to be held in Baku - which is in Azerbaijan, apparently - promises to live up to the competition’s lofty standards of pop peculiarity. Two semifinals of 18 countries will be held this week, to be followed by the final on Saturday, which will feature 10 countries from each semi-final and the 6 automatic finalists.

Upon watching the preview video for the final two stages of the competition, I remained undecided as to whether or not Eurovision is something European citizens should be proud of. Perhaps it would be best to shelf the competition for a few years; Merkel, Hollande and co. could do without any more reasons to doubt the merits of the European project. But in any case, here’s what you can expect from this year’s competition.

One of the interesting things about Eurovision is that the vast majority of songs are sung in English. You’d expect,

Kurt Calleja, of Malta, right

then, that English speaking countries and countries where English is widespread as a second language would be at a distinct advantage - and you’d be right. Ireland has won the most Eurovisions - seven in total - and the UK, Holland, Sweden, Israel, and Norway are all in the top 10.

But the linguistic inequities of Eurovision make for some entertaining attempts to replicate the vacuity of English language pop music. Sweden have gone all out with a du jour, electropop entry, a development surely not worthy of the country that won the competition in 1974 with ABBA. Greece’s upbeat pop entry, ‘Aphrodisiac’, is equally incongruous. It’s unclear quite what the aphrodisiac is, but it seems unlikely that it’s to be found in Athens. The boyband (or at least boy-duo) has also made a comeback this year. Ireland’s Jedward, featuring identical twins John and Edward (funnily enough), are pretty much a slightly older, two-man version of One Direction. Though their quiffed blond hair and black and gold stage attire do give them a very creepy vibe.

Austria’s ‘Trackshittaz’, on the other hand, are pretty much the antithesis of One Direction: picture two poorly dressed, Pitbull wannabes with hair, that is Trackshittaz in a nutshell.

I implore you to find their song ‘Woki Mit Deim Popo’ on YouTube, it is truly outrageous (the pole-dancers make it).

The aptly named “Trackshittaz”, of Austria

Other interesting entries include Malta’s Kurt Calleja, who is probably quite an accurate depiction of Justin Bieber in 30 years; Montenegro’s Rambo Amadeus, who looks and sounds like your creepy Uncle at Christmas (check out ‘Urbano, Samo Urbano’); and of course it wouldn’t be a Eurovision without some countries just doing random shit on stage and hoping for the best: Holland, Russia and Belarus, we’re looking at you.

And I can’t neglect to mention San Marino’s ‘Social Network Song’, the micronation is one of the best performing European economies - it has next to no unemployment or government debt - but if this is the best it can produce for Eurovision it would probably do well to give up on music altogether.

Some of this year’s artists are astonishing in their complete lack of any discernible talent. But I guess Eurovision has never really been about who wins, and this year’s competition will be no exception.

Montenegro’s proud export, Rambo Amadeus

WAR ON TERROR

America to remain the land of the free, for now

As Connie Ye asks, if legislation falls in the woods and nobody is there to hear it, then what is the point?

Last Wednesday, the National Defense Authorisation Act reared its ugly head after months in obscurity.

It passed slyly under the radar in the bowels of Washington on New Year’s Eve 2011. The National Defense Authorization Act, specifically section 1021, affording the President “all necessary and appropriate force” in order to detain any citizens involved in terrorist activities; specifically, anyone who has “substantially supported al-Qaeda, the Taliban, or associated forces that are engaged in hostilities against the United States or its coalition partners”.

US District Court judge Katherine Forrest issued a preliminary injunction against the Obama government’s exercise of the controversial indefinite detention allowed by the Act. Ms. Forrest says the extensive power to detain without trial or charge could ultimately impede on civil liberties in the US. She describes it as potentially having “a chilling impact on First Amendment Rights”, labelling the section “facially unconstitutional”.

The lawsuit leading to the injunction was filed against President Obama, Defense Secretary Leon Panetta, and

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the Defense Department, by plaintiffs including prominent intellectuals Noam Chomsky and Naomi Wolf, Icelandic parliamentarian Brigitta Jónsdóttir, and Pulitzer prize-winner Chris Hedges.

The court’s major gripe was with the wording. The plaintiffs claimed the deliberately broad umbrella terms used brought their investigative work as journalists in contacting sources into threat. Worryingly, the administration couldn’t define this wording, even when pushed. Obama’s attorneys were consistently unable to define or clarify the wording of section 1021 when called to testify. When explicitly asked to give assurances that the behaviour of the plaintiffs would not warrant being subjected to detainment under section 1021, the attorneys were ‘repeatedly’ unable to give such assurances.

mentions of the NDAA on top American news network CNN were deliberately shifted out of primetime slots. In one instance a pro-NDAA lawyer was provided as the sole talking head on the issue.

as a “coup in two paragraphs”.

Instead, the main sources of commentary were predominantly online, such as in Huffington Post, smaller independent blogs and most importantly, via social media (especially on Twitter). Outside of the US, Naomi Wolf wrote in support of lead plaintiff Chris Hedges in March on The Guardian blog, citing the offending law

What is more worrying to Naomi Wolf, as she ended her Guardian blog, is the prospect that “our democracy hang[s] by such a tenuous thread that it relies on the sheer luck that this case was heard by a courageous judge with a settled belief in the constitution of the United States.”

Moreover, the Senate also rejected calls to amend the act to protect First Amendment rights. They would not support wording explicitly exempting United States citizens from detainment.

As for coverage of the hearing it remains disappointing that mainstream media missed or, perhaps more appropriately, ignored the news.

Described as a literal ‘blackout’,

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The plaintiffs paid their own way to the case, with their attorneys working pro bono. For a group of plaintiffs so heavily invested and so media-savvy, the continued press silence is worrying.

Plaintiff Jennifer “Tangerine” Bolen speaks to reporters during a news conference outside the Federal Court in Manhattan

Op-Shop LATTE SET

Fair, but flawed

Coffee certification can be a mixed blessing, writes Aran Hirsh The upcoming USU elections will mark the two year anniversary of the much publicised Fair Trade Referendum, in which the overwhelming majority (89.3 per cent) of voting members opted for coffee sold by Union outlets to be certified by Fair Trade. However, the Union’s contract with its current bean wholesaler Vittoria was not due to expire until the end of 2012, effectively imposing a three year moratorium on the sale of Fair Trade-certified coffee.

With the negotiation of a new coffee contract looming, students have again been mobilising to pick up from where the Fair Trade activism of 2010 left off.

The Fairly Educated initiative looks to coordinate university Fair Trade movements around the world, while at the local level, the push for the sale of Fair Trade coffee has been spearheaded by the Sydney University Oxfam Society as well as the recently unveiled KOFFEE2012 campaign.

Coffee certification systems reward farmers who adhere to production standards by attaching a premium to the price of certified coffee beans. The specific standards vary depending on the certifying organisation, with Fair Trade’s criteria being based on the ethical use of labour and environmentally sustainable production practices. In addition, Fair Trade establishes a minimum price for certified beans in order to mitigate the impact of price fluctuations which have repeatedly hit farmers since the breakdown of a global coffee quota system in the late 1980s.

As a proud ‘yes’ voter in the Referendum, I was excited that the ethos of

consumer responsibility we proclaimed would be able to yield real world effects through a price instrument that would benefit everyone from farmer to consumer. The opportunity to take a closer look at coffee certification schemes arose in February when I went to the Indonesian Field School run by the School of Geosciences. My unqualified support for the fair trade concept took a major hit as local coffee producers put the deceptively straightforward functioning of certification schemes into perspective.

As a type of social security net, small-scale coffee farmers in Indonesia (as well as the developing world in general) tend to grow a number of crops on their land, meaning the fair trade premium created marginal changes to overall income levels and its ‘sustainability’ provisions only covered a small portion of farming activities. While the stability of prices guaranteed by Fair Trade is a truly commendable initiative, advertising campaigns tend to overstate its importance to individuals’ livelihoods. I now cringe at the ‘promise’ that fair trade schemes will simply lift farmers out of poverty and create more sustainable land use practices.

And that’s assuming that the premium reaches the farmer. Attaining certification is a long-term liaison and third party auditing process that was often too expensive for farmers’ groups to pursue. Instead, the premium generated by the certification label went to the bigger processing estates to which local farmers’ cooperatives sold their beans.

This often left coffee farmers worse off in the supply chain, especially if they

had invested in growing export-quality beans without having their expenses offset by the higher farm-gate price promised by certification labels.

To be fair, the standards established

by Fairtrade International are different to schemes such as Rainforest Alliance and UTZ in that they attempt to establish the most direct link between farmers and importers by cutting out middlemen on the supply chain. But as is the case across the global coffee industry, enforcement of production criteria is often non-transparent and cannot be guaranteed by organisations.

Enforcing an all-encompassing model of standards has also been problematic at times. Critics point out that having younger family members participate in physical farm activities without monetary compensation (a practice many of our own famers are guilty of),

Noor Mayasari makes a latte at the Fisher coffee cart. Photo: Michael Koziol

is prohibited under the child labour provisions of Fairtrade criteria.

Despite the many shortcomings of the certification process, the sale of Fair Trade coffee by USU outlets would be a huge step forward for our university. The fairtrade movement is still a relatively recent phenomenon in the already short history of global consumer activism, and its growth only allows for constructive self improvement and experience-based recommendations to be effectively made.

I sincerely hope the USU will establish a supply of Fair Trade-certified beans from 2013 onwards. But I also hope coffee drinkers among us will embrace the same scrutiny that gave birth to the fair trade movement by questioning the promises that certification labels make to both farmers and consumers.

STOP THE CUTS

Cityrail: a love story

Dominic Wilcox wants to stop the cuts and start the love Why can’t we just leave Cityrail alone? On Tuesday, the O’Farrell Government announced their plans to fire 750 Railcorp staff, and to break Railcorp up into two agencies. Instead of angsty siblings Cityrail and Countrylink, we will now have a completely unrelated Sydney Trains and NSW Trains, in what is probably the most uninspired rebranding attempt since Van Diemen’s Land became Tasmania.

The Government will no doubt tell us that this will improve services and performance, and the unions probably won’t be happy, and if we’re lucky we might get some strikes, which are always exciting and make me feel like I’m in 1968 before Facebook ruined everything, but I digress.

This is just the latest re-incarnation of the Cityrail hate-bandwagon which has been rolling on for about a million years. Sydneysiders love to hate Cityrail. It’s what brings us together. We complain about everything: the lack of services, dirty carriages, late running trains, and the old ladies who talk really loudly when we’re trying to sleep.

Even when trains are delayed because someone has committed suicide

(an all-too-common occurrence for any railway system), we roll our eyes as if it’s Cityrail’s fault.

In the absence of any meaningful interaction with our fellow residents, complaining about the trains provides us with the opportunity to smile sarcastically at someone with whom we share a brief common experience.

“Besides, who doesn’t have a secret crush on the dulcet-toned announcing lady?”

So in response to this communal commuter vitriol, every new Government announces a review of Cityrail, with the intention of either consolidating it, or disaggregating it. Occasionally it will be re-branded. Sometimes they’ll order new trains, which will take 20 years to arrive and then won’t fit on our stations. Sometimes they’ll even announce a new line to be built, and then quietly shelve it once they’ve gained the publicity. And all the while, Cityrail will keep on delivering us to work and university, with unassuming mediocrity.

Because that’s what Cityrail is: mediocre. It has a ticketing system stuck in the 1980s, and doesn’t have anything like the reliability of the Paris Metro.

Yet neither does it have the problems and ridiculously high ticket prices that have plagued England and Spain’s privatised railways, nor the sheer pointlessness of Brisbane’s train lines.

But mediocrity isn’t a thing to be hated. In fact, in the case of Cityrail, it’s a thing to be loved. A journey on a train in Sydney may not be exciting or worldclass, but it’s cheap, and relatively clean and efficient.

With the glaring omission of the North-West, our trains can get you

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pretty much anywhere from Newcastle to Nowra, for a maximum of $4.10 on a student ticket. The carriages are spacious, the seats are comfortable, and Cityrail staff are the most friendly and helpful people in the world. Besides, who doesn’t have a secret crush on the dulcet-toned announcing lady?

So I think it’s time we stop hating Cityrail. Instead, let’s learn to love its quirks—the smell of brake fluid that permeates Tangaras, the inexplicable squeaking of Millenium trains, and the notable absence of the Waratahs.

Cityrail doesn’t need reviews and job cuts. It needs love, understanding, and more funding.

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Culture Vulture POP CULTURE

Women in the comic world

A recent Huffington Post article doesn’t have the balls to recognise female comic book fans, writes Victoria Lui Moviefone, an entertainment website owned by The Huffington Post, recently published an article about the latest superhero blockbuster, The Avengers. Considering the overwhelming avalanche of press about the movie, this wouldn’t have been all that noteworthy if it weren’t for the fact that the article, entitled “One Girl’s Guide to ‘The Avengers’: What You Need To Know If You Know Nothing”, was, well, solely that – a cutesy primer that offered girls, in insulting detail, “cocktail introductions a la Bridget Jones’s Diary” and “boyfriend impressing tidbits”.

The article naturally blew up on the blogosphere, inspiring posts of outrage amongst female comic book readers who were offended by its condescending tone and forcing Moviefone’s editor to hastily include a disclaimer that defended the piece’s satirical merits.

The article, along with its ensuing backlash, captures just some of the uneasy position women occupy in comic book culture. The misconception that comics are the sole providence of the male and the nerdy is one that remains firmly entrenched (thanks a lot, Big Bang Theory) and while female superhe-

roes certainly exist, their more prolific male counterparts often overshadow their place in the cultural spotlight.

Then there’s the problematic issue of female depiction. Female characters have often been drawn for the sole purpose of titillation or included merely to serve as a superhero’s Achilles’ heel with their imperilment, more morbidly, used as convenient plot catalysts. Female writer, Gail Simone, coined the ‘Women in Refrigerators’ trope after observing this phenomenon and noting how often owning a vagina seemed to correlate with a grisly death (in case you’re wondering, the trope was named for the way in which Green Lantern found his murdered girlfriend).

This dismal assessment is only further supported by the underrepresentation of women working in the industry. According to statistics collected in February of this year, only 11 per cent of the creators working at the two big publishers, Marvel and DC, were female.

You might feel inclined to agree then; hey, maybe it’s because comic books really are just a niche guy thing.

Yet, a cursory sweep of the comic book aisle at Kinokuniya or the Kings

Comics store will reveal an almost equal gender makeup amongst staff and customers alike and while no official data exists to account for female readership amongst comics, experimental statistics culled by one blogger from Facebook yielded a significant proportion of 25 per cent. (It’s interesting to note from the 1930s to 40s, during the ‘Golden Age’ of comics, that girls were comics’ primary consumers.)

There’s no evidence that female creators sell poorly either. High profile writers such as Gail Simone and artists like Becky Cloonan and Australia’s own Nicola Scott are responsible for best-selling titles and are often highly acclaimed in the industry. Women have done more than enough to prove that their interest in comic books is more than just guybait and female creators are just as capable at the craft, so why the discrepancy?

The complete answer is a tricky one that, nonetheless, boils down to a predictable truth. Comic books are a highly male-dominated industry and its already high barriers of entry are only further buttressed by that gender bias. While there’s no doubt that men are, and have been, capable of writing

strong female characters and drawing them respectfully, the fact remains that without proportionate female representation these instances will remain an exception rather than the rule. One needs to look no further than DC’s recent reboot, which courted much controversy over the publisher’s revamped depictions of its female characters. Not only was Amanda Waller, a heavyset supervillain, inexplicably slimmed down to waif-like proportions but we were introduced to Catwoman, or rather her boobs, as she struggled into her catsuit over two, uncomfortably exploitative pages. There’s no wonder that female readership may be a little low.

It’s not necessarily all doom and gloom though. Female representation has fared somewhat better with independent publishers whilst alternative channels of publishing, like the Internet, have given us the joys of creators such as Kate Beaton. However, until mainstream publishers work to actively rectify these gender disparities and women get to tell and draw the stories they want to from beyond the margins, it may be a long time before female readers get the sort of respect they deserve.

REVIEWS: MUSIC The Kaiser Chiefs: not only British, but slightly deranged too.

Justin Pen was Friesian cold in Canberra From the Kaiser Chiefs’ perspective, I’m sure we looked like a frenzied rookery of frozen penguins. Rooted to the spot and huddled together to collectively combat Canberra’s near-zero night-time temperatures, the horde of young and old, natives and pilgrims, hipsters and bogans bounced about to spite the cold and celebrate the closing act of 2012’s Groovin’ the Moo (GTM).

The touring festival, still very much in its infancy, began plodding along Australia’s various ‘regional centres’ in 2005. It was only two years ago that the University of Canberra earned itself a leg on the cultural cow’s annual cross-country journey.

Setting up Triple J’s and Channel V’s Udder Stage side-by-side was a good choice by organisers, allowing the festival’s herd to move between the day’s main acts without much effort.

San Cisco’s set was absolute warmth.

The crowd bubbled. The Fremantle four-piece played earnestly. Hell, I’m sure the sun started shining with a touch more intensity too. The band’s exceptionally youthful frontman, Jordi Davieson, told the crowd of a brilliant idea he had on his sleep-deprived and chilly trip to the Moo – “hot Red Bull.”

Big Scary followed suit, belting out

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tracks that alternated between alt-rock, guitar-driven ferocity and piano-led sincerity. After a shaky start, the two quickly seized the crowd with the seasonally-appropriate ‘Autumn’. In between blinks, Matt Corby began crooning to an ocean of swooning women.

Upon unleashing the first few bars of ‘Brother’, the sea seemed to rise as dozens sprang up and sat atop shoulders, gently swaying back-and-forth.

The Maccabees, the festival’s first imported act, next took the stage and delivered a resounding encore. The fivepiece revelled in enormous-sounding indie sock songs with soft-spoken, almost mumbled lyrics. Though I initially took their brevity for British turgidity, they quickly warmed to the crowd, cheekily admitting that they “didn’t always get the words right”.

A little later in the afternoon, 360 appeared in the Moolin Rouge – the festival’s lead location for drunken lads. Like herded cattle, a swarm of punters crammed under the tent to witness the Melbournian rapper in action. While his set was tight and punchy, I left early as he bellowed to the crowd, “yo, who wants to hear me rap over some Skrillex?”

To my delight, Ball Park Music threw

me into one of the most cathartic festival sing-a-longs I’ve ever had the pleasure of being a part of, exclaiming at the top of my lungs: “I haven’t had a friend in years/I only have sex with myself.” Cromack explained that his song ‘Sad Rude Future Dude’ was “for all you wankers out there – and I don’t mean those guys that drive fast cars and wear shiny jewellery.” Canadian Folk gods, City and Colour, followed the Brisbane six-piece and helped wind back the manic intensity with some smooth acoustics and honeyed singing.

replay them if his crowd didn’t meet his quota for keen. Kanye, the ‘King of Douchebags’, did this twice – the three-piece from Adelaide couldn’t do three songs without pulling the stunt.

Screaming to the crowd, “If you have any drugs, I want you to take them now”, Bluejuice launched into the riff-heavy ‘Medication’. Employing Tron-esque glow-in-the-dark body paint, rave lights, nudity and more energy and heat than a thousand cans of ‘warm Red Bull’, the quintet from Sydney transformed the crowd into a bouncing sweaty horde barely aware of the hypothermic temperature.

Due to its relative smallness, GTM managed to strike a balance between epic and intimate over its one-and-half stages – a complaint frequently levelled against Australia’s premier one day festival, Big Day Out. Despite the numbing cold – that isn’t hyperbole, by the way – GTM managed to squeeze every last drop out of its performers.

Hip-hop juggernauts, the Hilltop Hoods ran through a slew of singles from ‘The Nosebleed Section’ to ‘Rattling the Keys to the Kingdom’. Veterans of the scene, Suffa and MC Pressure toyed with the crowd to mixed results.

During his tour of Australia, Kanye West prematurely ended tracks only to

@honi_soit

GTM went a long way to help promote the Young Turks of the Australian music scene. It was the Kaiser Chiefs, as stalwarts of British Indie, though, that nearly stole the entire show. Climbing pylons, breaking cameras and jumping on a fucking tilt-a-whirl during a song, Ricky Wilson certainly didn’t believe in phoning it in.

Indeed, rather than sounding like glorified support acts, a healthy heap of the early-afternoon Aussie bands managed to hold their own against the festival’s international heavyweights. Punters dragging their feet to Canberra expecting a festival as boring as its host city were pleasantly surprised; the day (and night) was certainly milked for all it was worth.

Culture Vulture REVIEWS: FILM

REVIEWS: TV

The Dictator

They’re not getting any more high-brow, writes Nathan Olivieri threat of war, to deliver an explanatory oration to the UN. A botched assassination attempt, however, sees him stranded in New York, unrecognisable, his only hope lying with a woman the complete antithesis of his own oppressive self.

Cohen manages to strike an appropriate balance here with his characterisation, for ultimately his Aladeen had to be moronic enough to ensure the audience could abandon any idea of real tyranny or suffrage. Cohen’s preternatural ability to disappear into numerous guises is on full display here: Aladeen is an absolute riot, with his caricatured and deliberately outlandish nature proving quite paradoxically likeable.

Sacha Baron Cohen dresses up again

One of the most hotly anticipated films of the year, The Dictator opens this week on the back of a flurry of fanfare befitting of the status of its fictional namesake. After the worldwide PR tour, ballsy publicity stunts, and hilariously awkward interviews (I think Today is still recovering), Sacha Baron Cohen humbly submits to us his latest lampooning of modern culture. On the back of the much-loved Borat and the much-loathed Bruno, there seems to be one question resting on everyone’s lips: has he done it again? For brevity’s sake, I shall be blunt: yes. And no.

The film occupies a firm middle ground between the aforementioned two, and while frequently concocting moments of uproarious hilarity, there is a lingering pang of emptiness where you lament over what could have been.

Comments such as the above, however, would surely see me executed at the hands of Admiral General Aladeen (Cohen), supreme dictator of Wadiya, whose petulance sees him dispose of men at the flimsiest of whims. His stranglehold on the nation, embodied in his morosely childish antics, sees him an enemy of the West, who force him to America, under

The presence of Ben Kingsley as Aladeen’s deviant assistant is bliss, and heightens the ludicrousness of the affair.

There are an abundance of beautifully formed jokes and witty ‘blink-and-youmiss-it’ throwaways, and a few cheap shots that we all expected. Fantastical, and at times suitably gross-out, the film relies heavily on suspension of disbelief, and if you pledge as such you will be rewarded accordingly.

Worth noting in relation to the reception of the film is that it is the first of Cohen’s films to be entirely scripted. A foundational part of his previous ventures were his spontaneous interactions with unsuspecting citizens, the unease of such confrontations palpable offscreen. Admittedly, the subject matter leaves him little choice, as his targets are no longer at the base but rather at a much higher and delicate plane.

In this respect, the film plays out like a traditional comedy, albeit an excellently formed one, yet a part of you pines after the ‘shock-doco’ format that Cohen made his own.

Indelible scrutiny aside, The Dictator is an infinitely palatable blend of clever satire and exceptional character acting: well worth an inspection.

Game of Thrones

Winter is finally here, writes Bianca Healey To those of you who have not yet become acquainted with this wonder of an HBO series, sir, I do not tip my hat to you. Based on the series of books “A Song of Ice and Fire” by George R.R. Martin, Game of Thrones tracks the fortunes of several families as they tussle to attain a big old chair made of swords called the ‘Iron Throne.’

Season 1 introduced the world of Westeros, where the death of the king created the trajectory for new alliances, betrayals, a mad rush to capture the Throne, and a lot of lady nudity. What’s that line again? Oh right. Sex sells.

in the grandiose speech department.

Similarly, the loss of perhaps the most sympathetic character at the end of the last season is remedied by the reliability of the remaining leads. John Snow is as brooding and pure-hearted as ever. You just want to dress him up in Abercrombie and Fitch and take him home to your mother, don’t you! Tyrion Lannister too, has returned on form, with the delightful job of playing the ‘not-entirely evil’ villain to the ‘mostlygood’ (at best) heroes of this piece.

Cloudy morality. Much like cloudy apple juice, it just tastes so much better.

Well done. Where some Mormon authors who shall not be named have taken the chaste route, torturing their readers into a frenzy of unconsummated hysteria, our good friends, creators David Benioff and Dan Weiss have nipped down the back alley to the brothel, bringing a sensual, graphic and often brutal depiction of the sex lives of the ruling powers. However, season 1’s success came as a result of the creation of intelligent, engaging and visually sumptuous television that did not reduce itself to mere fan-fodder or sell out to glorified melodrama/soft porn (just). Now, at last, the second season of Game of Thrones is upon us, amidst us, within us- galloping posthaste towards its halfway point.

The most exciting development is the introduction of a red-haired priestess and enthusiastic de-rober (bearing more than a passing resemblance to a mid90’s Tori Amos) who has taken one of the four claimants to the throne under her guidance, spouting apocalyptic prophesies in an accent that veers from Irish to Italian in the space of the scene.

Despite the inevitable necessity of exposition to introduce the many new characters and sub-plots, the early episodes have managed to balance this with a mounting sense of eerie anticipation regarding the appearance of a red comet, and some deliciously melodramatic dialogue.

Episode 3 in particular brings it

Game of Thrones plays into the Lord of the Rings generation’s demand for cool-looking high-budget shit, but also doesn’t get caught in the ‘Transfomers trap’ by focussing, at it’s centre, on the failings of human nature in the face of potential power (many have fallen into the Transformers trap.

John Carter is soon to visit. Megan Fox lives there. Beware, filmmakers!

It’s cold down there and smells like Michael Bay’s self-hatred.) So far, at least, this viewer’s lofty post season 1 expectations have not been let down.

So how about it, son?

REVIEWS: SYDNEY WRITERS’ FESTIVAL

Spies Infiltrate Writers’ Festival

Max Chalmers snuck into the Sydney Writers’ Festival event ‘You Must Have Something to Hide’. In his case, it was sandwiches.

Under the gaze of the imperial Sydney Town Hall organ, a panel of judges, journalists, and spies convened. The first member introduced was Stella Rimington, a British spy who worked her way up the MI5 ranks. By 1992 she was the organisation’s first female head. She was the inspiration for Judi Dench’s portrayal of ‘M’ in the contemporary Bond films and has published seven spy novels of her own since retirement. Remington portrayed intelligence services as fundamentally humanitarian. “The job of a security agency is to protect our civil liberties”, she said, arguing that legal checks and balances prevent overreaches of power.

However, the oversimplification this assessment represented was exposed

by Glenn Carle, CIA agent of 23 years.

Carle discussed his concerns about the US rendition practices which have been used by the CIA to repatriate suspects to countries with lax human rights enforcement (think Mubarak’s Egypt). Carle is here touring his book The Interrogator, which details his trip to one such country to question a man believed to be a senior al-Qaeda financier. When host David Marr asked Carle a series of questions about the real names of the characters and places featured in his account, Carle responded with patient repetition: “I may not say. I may not say. I may not say.” Forty percent of Carle’s novel was cut when he submitted it to the CIA for approval, and answering these questions remains legally impossible for him.

British based journalist Heather Brooke berated this kind of information protection. Brooke rose to international prominence after a successful freedom of information court action which exploded into the MP expenses scandal.

Despite her personal distaste for Julian Assange, Brooke endorsed Wikileaks and described the internet as a potentially powerful tool in democratising information. “[Governments] are no longer the information gate keepers or the power gate keepers” she said.

Blogger Jeff Jarvis complimented this and argued against the need for surplus government internet regulation.

Localising the discussion, retired High Court Justice Michael Kirby revealed his personal freedom of information

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battle. Despite having served the highest judicial post in the nation, Kirby is still prohibited from examining a file on him prepared by the shadowy New South Wales Police Special Branch.

Ultimately the discussion’s meandering meant interesting talking points were left underdeveloped. The intellectual jibes between Kirby and Marr kept the crowd laughing but exasperated this problem. Worst of all, on attempting entry to the Town Hall guests were ordered to leave food outside. The door guard (CIA? MI5? KGB?) saw through my paper-bag disguise and sent me back outside to finish my sandwich.

Another victory for the security state.

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Feature

the

rise

of the

right

The hunt for scapegoats has seen far-right parties surge in Europe, writes Jackson Busse As Francois Hollande took the stage to be sworn in as France’s new President, a sombre-looking Evangelos Venizelos addressed the media in Athens, informing them that attempts to form a coalition had failed and that Greece would have to head to the polling booths again within the month. At the ceremony, Mr. Hollande vowed that he would help put an end to the crippling Eurozone crisis; while a visibly shaken Mr Venizelos could only muster a plea to God: “For God’s sake, let’s move towards something better, not something worse”.

Mr. Venizelos’ cause for concern ostensibly extends beyond the failure to form a coalition government and the prospect of Greece ceding from the Eurozone. Days before, 21 members of the extreme right-wing party Golden Dawn were sworn into parliament.

Golden Dawn is undoubtedly the most extreme right-wing party to be active in mainstream European politics today.

Their leader, Nikolaos Michaloliakos, is an open admirer of Hitler, calling him a “great personality of history”; his party have adopted what seems to be a reworked swastika as their emblem; and their policy espouses virulent anti-Semi-

in order to advocate a process of solidification, or fortification of the nation state, as opposed to a policy of expansion. Moreover, even the more extreme parties, such as Golden Dawn, still choose to operate within the confines of a parliamentary democracy. Their acceptance of capitalism, and particularly, apathy towards communism, are further indicators of how they might rightly be conceived of as new.

tism, anti-Islamism, and Euro-scepticism.

The far-right has always been a part of the European tradition. However, the emergence of remodelled far- and extreme- right parties in the past decade, and the increasing palatability of these parties, is seen by many as the alarming rise of fascism. While acknowledging the idiosyncrasies of each party and their differing degrees of extremism, there is a large ideological overlap between them. For the most part, these parties adopt inflammatory rhetoric to paint a picture of the nation-state and national identity as under siege from immigrants: mostly Jews, Muslims and Roma. These migrants, it is believed, are sapping national culture, and are ultimately responsible for the existential and financial hardship of struggling Europeans.

The success, and perhaps even existence, of these far-right parties is largely sustained by their populist approach to politics. Given the negativity associated with the charge of fascism, most far-right parties have tried to publicly distance themselves from such an image. The trajectory of the Austrian Freedom Party in the last 13 years is a case in point. Adopting a euro-sceptic, anti-immigration, and pan-German vision of culture, the party managed to win 26.9 per cent of the vote in the 1999 national election: enough to form a coalition government with the Austrian People’s Party. The coalition, however, was subject to sanctions from the European Union, which bemoaned the victory as a legitimisation of the “extreme right in Europe”.

The dismissal of these parties as ‘fascists’ and ‘neo-Nazis’ is, however, ultimately reductive and beyond the point. There are fundamental differences between the fascist parties of the interwar period and the far-right parties of today.

Monsterrate Guidbernau, a Professor of Politics at the University of London, has argued that it would be an error to mistake these parties as fascists. Rather than disregard them, it is important that we understand these parties and the reasons for their growing popularity.

Following this condemnation was increasing controversy surrounding leader Joerg Haider’s openly pro-Nazi stance. On numerous occasions he defended the policy of Nazi Germany and the actions taken by its members. Upon his election, he attempted to reject comparisons with the Nazi Party by remarking: “The Freedom Party is not the descendant of the National Socialist Party. If it were, we would have an absolute majority”. The party soon lost public favour.

Whilst still capitalising upon xenophobia, anti-Semitism, and anti-Islamism, contemporary far-rightist parties exploit this sentiment

Left: Joerg Haider, former leader of the Austrian Freedom Party Above: France has not been immune: the farright National Front captured more than 18 per cent of the vote Opposite page: Nikolaos Michaloliakos of the Golden Dawn party

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After dying in a car-crash, Haider was replaced by Heinz-Christian Strache. Distancing himself from Haider’s pro-Nazi stance, Strache was able to gain popularity by tapping into the concerns of voters vis-à-vis immigration, and the state of the Eurozone. His campaign slogans read: “Too many foreigners does no one good”, “We believe in our youth, the SPO in immigration”, “More strength for our Viennese blood”.

In 2006, he was able to reclaim an impressive 11 per cent of the vote, and many now anticipate that he and his party will win the 2013 election. Whilst Strache is one of the most effective populists in Austrian politics today, and is invariably less controversial than his predecessor, he has been frequently accused of having ties with the Neo-Nazi community. Numerous videos and pictures have been distributed which depict Strache partaking in militia training, giving the Nazi salute, and distributing anti-Islamic election posters.

In trying to make sense of the increasing popularity of far-right parties, such as the Austrian

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Feature Freedom Party, many commentators have been quick to explain this trend in terms of the economic turmoil currently affecting Europe. It is believed that much of the support for these parties comes from lower-middle class voters, many of who are self-employed, or form part of the skilled and unskilled working class. Such voters, it is believed, are anxious about rising rates of unemployment and impending austerity measures.

Immigrants are seen as both causing and aggravating this financial hardship.

In the recent French election, far-right National Front’s Marine Le Pen was able to capitalise upon this sentiment in order to gain support. Adopting a farright agenda, similar to that used by the Jobbik party in Norway, Le Pen promised voters that if elected, she would opt out of the Eurozone and limit immigration to only 10,000 people a year.

Whilst unable to outdo Hollande, Le Pen was still able to attract 18 per cent of the vote; the highest percentage ever won by a National Front candidate. Interviewed upon exiting a polling booth, a supporter of Le Pen told a reporter: “We have to get out of the euro currency. And with unemployment on the rise, we hardly need mass migration”.

The increasing popularity of the National Front in France demonstrates the extent to which the policies of far-right parties across Europe resonate with voters. Associate Professor Judith Keene, a specialist in movements of the Extreme Right in Sydney University’s Department of History, told Honi Soit that many far-right parties are engaging with issues (particularly immigration) which are of genuine concern to voters. Dr Keene suggests that many voters are apprehensive about the high rate of immigration across Europe, and are fearful about the potential financial and cultural problems that this might have.

The question of migrants in countries like Greece and Spain is “a boiling unidentified problem”, Dr Keene says.

From January until Easter, roughly 40,000 migrants entered Greece, mostly from North Africa. In Spain, almost half the youth population is unemployed.

Voters believe that the influx of migrants poses a grave threat to job security, and the government, Keene suggests, is “lost in exactly how to deal with this, especially when the economy is so bad”.

Given the inability of governing parties to deal with this problem, let alone adequately articulate it, many voters are now looking beyond conventional parties for a solution to the problem.

Many fear, however, that anti-migrant sentiment is slowly translating into acts of racism and discrimination. A recent report by the Council of Europe (ECRIS) warned that economic hardship, (particularly cuts to public services), had created a ‘vicious cycle’, causing the resurgence of age-old prejudices. “Old myths about yielding influence in the financial world are revived”, the report stated. “Discrimination in employment is rife. Racism and intolerance are on the rise in Europe today and the resulting tension sometimes leads to racist violence”.

“He is an open admirer of Hitler, calling him a “great personality of history”; his party have adopted what seems to be a reworked swastika as their emblem; and their policy espouses virulent anti-Semitism, antiIslamism, and Euro-scepticism.”

The leader of the extreme-right Golden Dawn party, Nikolaos Michaloliakos. The party won 21 seats in the Greek election.

Professor Konrad Kwiet, a Holocaust survivor in the Sydney University Department of Hebrew, Biblical, and Jewish Studies, told Honi there has been a “dramatic increase in anti-Semitic attacks and campaigns” across Europe.

Professor Kwiet believes that much of this had been caused by the current financial crisis: “In this current economic crisis and climate, which all European countries are facing, anti-Semitism is

Economic explanations, however, are unable to fully account for the success of the far-right in some of Europe’s most affluent countries, such as Switzerland and Austria. Unemployment in Switzerland and Austria are well below the OECD average, and their social welfare systems are among the best in Europe.

In countries like Switzerland and Austria, it seems that migrants are not only being blamed for financial insecurity,

“The Freedom Party is not the descendant of the National Socialist Party. If it were, we would have an absolute majority” Joerg Haider, Austrian Freedom Party

now being reignited”. Discrimination against Jews has now become conflated with resentment towards migrants, particularly Muslims and Roma. Professor Kwiet suggests that anti-Semitic, antiIslamist, and anti-migrant sentiment now “serves as a marvellous instrument to blame others for misery and hardship”. For extreme-right parties and many in the community, migrants have now become scapegoats.

Alain De Benoist, founder of France’s Nouvelle Droit (New Right), believes that the existence of far-right parties is contingent upon the existence of enemies. Since the fall of Communism, the far-right has had to develop a new ideological weapon, and the easiest way to do so was to “make foreign workers a target”. De Benoist suggests that the far-right has been so successful at rendering ‘foreign’ workers enemies, that they have perpetuated a fantasy of them being the root of all problems.

“It is easy to see how this culture of risk becomes a culture of fear”, De Benoist says. “And how this culture of fear then becomes a culture of fantasy.”

He cites the legitimate anxieties caused by an increase in insecurity and unemployment’, as reasons giving rise to a “multitude of fantasies, beyond whatever real problems might be posed by immigrants”. This has led, he believes, to immigrants systemically being “thought to be unemployed, drug traffickers, Islamists, and revolutionaries, who want to transform France into a mosque”.

Many believe that far- and extremeright parties have benefited from these ‘multitude of fantasies’. By blaming migrants for the financial woes of Europe, far-right parties are able to use their cuts to immigration policy as a way to remedy economic turmoil.

they are being blamed for the apparent erosion of national culture. Globalistion, particularly in the form manifest by institutions such as the EU, together with immigration, are seen as carrying the risk of standardisation.

Dr Keene says that in countries like Spain, which have no history of immigration, the influx of migrants is particularly overwhelming. Many in the community have found themselves “suddenly confronted with a great wave of refugees”, she said, and are baffled as to how to deal with this. The speed and the rate at which migrants have flown into the country has taken many by surprise, and has perpetuated a fear of the unknown other. This fear has been enhanced by the genuine belief of many: that national culture and the culture of migrants are incompatible.

The term ethnopluralism (coined by De Benoist) is now used by many farright parties to expound their migration/cultural policies. Ethnopluralism advocates a respect for cultural and ethnical difference, but maintains that the best strategy to protect these is to avoid their mixing.

Bruno Megret of Italy’s far-right Front National has used this term to proffer a revised version of democracy in Italy - one based upon cultural unity.

“Democracy cannot take place among a collection of individuals sharing no bonds among themselves and having incompatible cultural references,” Megnet says. The only way a nation can sustain its existence and culture, he continues, is “to recognize each other as close by means of a language, culture, faith, blood and history”.

these parties, and the potential effects that they might have on Europe. For many, it seems prudent to hastily dismiss them as extremists and/or fascists.

Others have encouraged a discussion of these parties, but only in the most polemical and vitriolic terms. It is a truism that much of what these parties advocate could be construed as xenophobic and racist. This does not mean, however, that we should avoid discussing their reasons for having adopted this policy, and the reasons behind its growing traction in public debate.

When asked about the spectre of these far- and extreme- right parties coming into power, Professor Kwiet incredulously replied: “They are not the main political parties…they are not a determining political force”. Of the extreme right parties (such as the neo-Nazis), Professor Kwiet acknowledged that in deep crises, the hate ideologies of such parties can “play a very fateful role”.

He added, however, that: “I don’t think that at the state Europe is in, a situation where these ideologies will become state ideologies will emerge.”

Given the unlikelihood of these parties having state control, the biggest influence that they currently and will continue to wield is the shaping of political discourse. Many see recent government restriction on migration flow, and Sarkozy’s ban on the burqa, as examples of how the far-right are now affecting the political agenda of much of Europe.

This is not necessarily a bad thing.

Reflecting upon the political effect of the far-right, Dr Keene said that much of it has been positive. In shifting the political discourse, and forcing parties in the centre and left to engage with it, people are able to voice their concern about the rate of immigration, and the state of the economy, without having to identify, or absolutely align themselves, with the far-right.

Currently, Dr Keene says, “people feel disempowered to speak about those things. I think that we have a problem here. One doesn’t want to speak about those issues because they don’t want to line up with the ‘crazy people’”.

If these issues are of genuine concern, then it is important that they no longer remain taboo, and that they be open to discussion and debate on all sides of politics. It is a question of democracy whether these ‘issues’ ever become hate ideologies.

Jackson Busse is on Twitter: @jacksonbusse

Many commentators have been alarmist in the way that they have discussed

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Profile

Honi reporter Dan Zwi delves into the background, music and depression of Sydney producer Dro Carey.

T

h e terraces

of leafy Lewisham are perhaps an unlikely setting from which to create dark, unearthly, discombobulating electronic music.

Yet it is from a small bedroom in these surroundings that Dro Carey makes his music, track after track, so prolifically that a new song appears every week or so on his blog.

Imbued with sadness and grit, a lot of what is written about Dro Carey’s music centres on its congruence with the UK experimental electronic scene. Speaking to Carey - real name Eugene Hector - in a quiet café near his house, though, it is clear that he pays scant regard to the view that one’s surroundings leave an indelible mark on one’s art.

“I’m always a bit mystified when someone on Twitter says, ‘how did this music come from Australia’, because as much as there’s some relation between where you live and the music you make, at the end of the day you’re not just distilling your surroundings. It’s a personal thing. Hopefully it’s coming out of nowhere.”

That’s not to say that Carey denies the impact that UK artists have had on his development. “It’s a conscious influence. When you listen to a certain genre, it will infiltrate your music. I definitely listen to more of that then Australian music.” And the affection runs both ways. In his short career, the self-effacing nineteen year old has pricked the ears of influential UK labels RAMP, Trilogy Tapes, and Hum + Buzz, all of whom have released his recordings.

When Carey mentions Burial among the UK artists that have inspired him, I ask what he thinks about that musician’s commitment to anonymity.

Should artists be expected to reveal something of their character to the public? “If they make really good music it probably doesn’t matter how they

“

Being a bedroom producer has its drawbacks.

For one thing, he finds it difficult to recreate his complex and densely layered recordings in a live context.

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”

handle their persona. They can be really mysterious or public and unappealing, but if they’re a genius with their recordings then people will listen to them.”

He acknowledges that he has a similarly clandestine public persona, though denies that it’s deliberate. I ask if he has ever turned down interviews or refused to be photographed. “No, none of that.

I didn’t do any of that but people still thought I was mysterious for some reason. Maybe they just meant the music made them think that.”

I ask Carey if he has considered moving to London in order to be closer to the artists he admires. “Not really. In terms of what I know my strengths are, everything that I do can be delivered over the Internet. You tend to move if you’re a really brilliant DJ or a popular club DJ because you need to physically be there to perform. Whereas pretty much any other involvement in electronic music, you can basically do it via email. And since I really like Sydney a lot – there’s no career necessity.”

The Internet has been good to Dro Carey in that it has made his music globally accessible, however being a bedroom producer has its drawbacks.

For one thing, he finds it difficult to recreate his complex and densely layered recordings in a live context.

“Playing live is still something I’m figuring out a bit. If you’re someone with a lot of analogue equipment, and you know how to work an 808 and a synth and a step-sequencer then you can set them up and do a live set. [But] all the arranging and writing I do on my computer. I don’t play any of it.”

The logistical complexity of live shows is not the only thing that has kept Carey from performing. He had already begun a national tour in early

“

He had already begun a national tour in early 2012 when he decided to pull out due to depression. It is something that Carey has dealt with for a while...

”

2012 when he decided to pull out due to depression. It is something that Carey has dealt with for a while, and sitting across from him, all floppy-haired and sensitive, I am a bit hesitant to bring it up. Yet when I do ask him about it, he is forthcoming and generous with his response.

“Leading up to it I was feeling really confident and well prepared, and then suddenly I had this crisis, basically.

And it was really difficult as well, being away from home.” I put it to Carey that he could have given the public a less personal reason for the tour’s cancellation - one that would have enabled him to keep his depression private. He seems bemused by the proposition.

“No, definitely not. I mean you should always try and tell people as much as you can about what’s going on. But particularly at that short notice, I feel there really was a responsibility to give detail, at least to some extent.

Because there can be a bit of a culture

The problem is perennial in a generation for whom professional-grade sequencing software is only a few hundred dollars or a cheeky download away.

To construct elaborate music is easier than ever; to reproduce it in real time without automating everything remains a challenge.

“Some people find vocalists to perform with them, or they integrate a live band, like a live drum kit, and those aren’t necessarily bad ideas, but it can still be like its compensating for the fact that they haven’t figured out how to do their stuff live. So I’m still working on that.”

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in all levels of music of cancelling shows for not very good reasons, or without information, and there’s a perception of arrogance. So I try and stay away from any of that. I felt I couldn’t do anything other than explaining exactly what it was.”

When the cancellation of the tour was announced, the Sydney and Brisbane dates were turned into benefits for Beyond Blue, a national depression foundation. A suite of prominent Sydney artists agreed to perform in support of their colleague.

Melancholy seems pervasive in Carey’s life. It is what makes his music so compelling; it is why people compare him to UK artists; it is the reason that, despite his gargantuan reputation, he has only played one or two live shows.

Oscar Wilde said that there is no truth comparable to sorrow, and that is why sorrow in art is beautiful. Maybe that is why people the world over who enjoy electronic music wait for each new offering from this prodigiously talented teenager with baited breath.

Dro Carey is on Last.fm: http://www.last.fm/music/ Dro+Carey

Union Board Election Special USU ELECTIONS: AN INTRODUCTION By now you would have realised that the mood around campus has altered slightly. People are more tense and there is an air of anticipation. Campus is also covered in chalk. Yep, it’s the University of Sydney Union Board election.

Not to be confused with the SRC elections, the Union Board elections involves the election of five (and in odd years, six) students to the Union Board of Directors. What exactly is the University of Sydney Union? It’s the organisation responsible for providing services to students, or as the candidates will no doubt tell you, “the student experience”. They own Manning, Wentworth and Holme, support the Clubs & Societies program and publish Bull Magazine and Hermes. The USU is the biggest student union in the country and also the only completely independent one. In short, it’s a pretty big part of Sydney University and the students on the Union’s Board of Directors have a large say in how the Union goes about its business.

This year, five candidates will be appointed via general election. All students are eligible to vote, including postgraduates. In this USU election special, we take you through the big issues currently facing the Union, explain the President and Board Executive election and evaluate each of the candidates based on interviews and a quiz we had them undertake. We know for a lot of students, elections can seem completely nonsensical, so we’ve done our best to cover them in a way that is as engaging as possible, whilst still remaining in our humble opinion, fair and informative.If you disagree, tell us; whatever the case, we strongly suggest you make your opinions known on election day.

In any case, we encourage you to read up on all seven of this year’s candidates so you can make the right choice for you. We strongly encourage you to vote - it doesn’t take a lot of effort and is crucial for ensuring the Union, and by extension our university, stays vibrant and strong.

USU DECIDES

Honi Soit’s guide to the 2012 Union Board Elections: Page 5: Honi Soit and Statsoc opinion polls Page 13: Overview and breakdown of key issues Page 14: Candidate interviews and Honi Quiz results Page20: Infographic - campaigns in social media Page 25: Test yourself with the Honi candidate quiz and answers

USU ELECTIONS: THE ISSUES Universal Access A ‘universal’ ACCESS scheme has become the policy du jour this election season, with every candidate promising its implementation. Centered around the newly-introduced SSAF, candidates are looking for votes with the promise of ‘universal’ (i.e. free) ACCESS cards and ACCESS discounts. The reasoning is simple: if the Union has received money from the SSAF, surely they could skimp the $110 I pay them for my ACCESS card, right?

A lot of confusion has arisen due to the clear similarities between the SSAF, universal ACCESS, and compulsory student unionism. Yes, the University can make you hand over a new chunk of money every year. No, the University cannot make you join the Union. Much of this SSAF money goes to other student organisations. The Union is not even its biggest benefactor. Most candidates think that the best way to make themselves attractive to voters

is to offer them a tantalising $110 in Union fees. For those who haven’t joined the USU, Universal ACCESS means the discounts without fees or Union membership.

Universal ACCESS opens the doors to increased student unionism from decreased costs, but will also put increasing strain on the USU. It is also important to note that the USU is currently moving towards implementing a universal ACCESS scheme at the present time.

Union Takeover 2011 was the year of the takeover.

2012 is the year of the SSAF. Candidates in years past have faced the impending doom of a Vice Chancellor Dr Spence who wanted to take away students’ bars, their clubs, and their fun. The Union is now looking more stable – Dr Spence has said a full takeover is not in the University’s plans. The Union’s commercial operations, however, are

still under threat. That means the coffee you bought today, the baguette you’ll buy tomorrow and the beer you’ll buy later may all come under University control. The Union has faced critical issues with the profitability of its commercial services – for obvious reasons, as it has prioritised cheap costs over a good business model. The pool of SSAF money allocated to the USU [figures] will help to keep the Union afloat, but more long term plans need to be made.

Candidates are thus attempting to differentiate themselves as directors who can take the USU through to economic stability in years to come, without sacrificing the student experience.

Affirmative Action Affirmative Action ensures female representation on the Union Board. In this year’s election, it means that two of the female candidates are assured of getting a place on board. This is

regardless of the results of the male candidates. It does not prevent all three female candidates from getting elected however. Affirmative Action has not come into effect since 2009.

Preference Deals One fact of life surrounding Sydney University elections are preference deals. On election day, candidates and their supporters will hand out ‘how-tovote’ leaflets, which mimic the design of the actual election ballot with the exception that they show you which name to put a ‘1’, ‘2’ and ‘3’ next to.

The names these numbers appear next to are usually determined by preference deals made between candidates. Usually, candidates preference other candidates with similar political views. If you notice a candidate preferencing another candidate of a notably different political persuasion, it is often a sign that they are disingenuous and more interested in gaining a position of power than they are in building a stronger Union.

USU PRESIDENT AND EXECUTIVE In the days immediately following the USU Board election another much smaller, but arguably more important election takes place. The election of the USU Board Executive sees the eleven directors, including five newly elected, vote on who their executive and President will be for the following year.

It is known for backstabbing and broken promises and is why board directors in their second year of tenure ‘run’ their own candidates: successfully elected board directors usually repay the person that helped them.

Traditionally, the Union Board Executive has been controlled by NLS (Labor Left). They would run multiple

candidates who would then vote for each other for executive positions. Only one or two successful non-NLS candidates would have to be won over for Labor to keep control. This was usually achieved via the promise of their own executive position, or of high-ranking positions on the Students’ Representative Council.

This changed in 2009 with Independent Pat Bateman becoming the first non-NLS USU President in years. Since then, the independents have monopolised the position of President.

The trend looks like continuing, with NLS not even fielding a candidate this year (though they are helping three of them).

This year, two people have put their hand up for the position of President: current Hon. Treasurer Rhys Pogonoski and Board Director Astha Rajvanshi.

Who will triumph will largely be decided by who is elected from the current crop of candidates for Board. At this stage, if one had to guess though, Astha Rajvanshi seems to hold a slight edge.

Of the current board eligible to vote, it appears that Rajvanshi definitely has the support of Brigid Dixon and possibly Zac Thompson. Mr Pogonoski definitely has Jacqui Munro’s vote and will probably also receive backing from Mina Nada.

Of the current candidates running,

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Tom Raue, John Harding-Eason, Sophie Stanton, and Nick Coffman are all expected to vote for Ms Rajvanshi, while Mr Pogonoski can almost certainly bank on Karen Chau and Hannah Morris, should they be elected. Mr Pogonoski also has the best shot at securing Vale Sloane’s vote.

However, these predictions should be taken with a grain of salt. Board executive elections are notoriously hushhush and usually see at least one director betrayed in order to secure the numbers.

It is always safer to base your vote on a candidate’s personality and policies, not the way you think they’ll vote for President (if you even care).

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UNION BOARD ELECTION SPECIAL

Union Candidate Report Card I

n election season, it’s often hard to differentiate between the obnoxious primary colours lining Eastern Ave. In order to learn more, Honi conducted approximately half-hour long interviews with each of this year’s Board candidates. Before the interview, we asked the candidates to complete an extensive 50-question quiz pertaining to several facets of university and Union life.

You can take the quiz yourself on page 25. Be warned, it’s thorough and challenging, as the results to the right indicate. All the interviews were recorded on camera and by the time this goes to print, they should be available on the Honi Facebook page and YouTube channel.

HONI TAB Odds of First Past the Post: Nick Coffman: $1.10 John Harding-Easson:$10 Hannah Morris: $16 Karen Chau: $18 Tom Raue: $110 Sophie Stanton: $160 Vale Sloane: $290 Odds of election after Affirmative Action and preferences: Nick Coffman: $1.03 John Harding-Easson: $1.50 Karen Chau: $1.80 Hannah Morris: $2.15 Sophie Stanton: $2.60 Tom Raue: $3.10 Vale Sloane: $3.60 ODDS of President: Astha Rajvanshi: $1.80 Rhys Pogonoski: $2.20

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KAREN CHAU

TOM RAUE

SOPHIE STANTON

QUIZ RESULT: 75% DISTINCTION

QUIZ RESULT: 56% PASS

QUIZ RESULT: 56% PASS

Politics: Karen Chau technically falls under the ‘independent’ tagline, however this shouldn’t be read into that much. Last year Karen managed the campaign of SRC presidential candidate Tim Matthews and is part of what she terms a bloc of “collectivised independents”: an amorphous group of student politicians that could be loosely described as ‘centrists’. Karen has stated that she doesn’t think this undermines her status as ‘independent’ as it isn’t “so much…a negative thing”. When asked whether she thought patronage networks had an influence on the composition of USU Boards past and present Karen gave no clear response.

Politics: Tom Raue is a left-wing candidate supported by the broad left group known as ‘Grassroots’. He is open about his political nature and was the only candidate to explicitly tell us that he was not asking for everyone’s vote, just those of people who also identified as left-wing. On this front he has a strong resume: He’s an activist, strongly opposed to the staff cuts and is keen to make the Union more environmentally sustainable, and less corporate. Whether Tom will be able to work productively with a Union board so further afield politically remains to be seen.

Politics: Sophie Stanton is another purported ‘independent’ in these elections. When asked about the emerging brand of ‘collectivised independents’ at USYD Sophie seemed perplexed, admitting to not “being educated enough” on the state of student politics. She did however express that she hoped the other independents running would not feel “bound by the views of a collective”. Sophie has not admitted to any personal political affiliation.

She has recently claimed to represent the “entire disaffected student population”; her rationale for this claim is the fact that she abstained from buying an Access card in second year because she thought she had gotten as much benefit out of the union as possible.

We found it curious that Sophie felt it appropriate to label herself as embodying such a large group of students.

Personality: Karen came across like a generic student politician. She said a lot, very quickly, without really saying anything of much substance and dillydallied around most of our questions.

We appreciated her enthusiasm for the USU, also reflected in her excellent quiz results and substantial clubs and societies experience, but felt like the ‘real Karen’ never showed up. Given that this probably represents to her an important step in what is likely to be a very successful career we’re not surprised.

Personality: Tom came across as remarkably earnest. Despite being visibly hungover (something he announced upon arrival), he walked us through his ideas for the Union with by far the greatest clarity of all the candidates. He seemed inherently polarising (“Mars bars are basically made by slaves” he explained to us), and clearly did not feel the need to represent all students, suggesting the colleges fund their sport via “their daddy’s trust funds”. Tom saw himself as “very different” to the other candidates, and believed John HardingEasson would also be good on Board.

Policy: Karen is not looking to rock the boat too much. Her flagship policies are a USU Music Festival and Twilight Noodle Markets. While we liked the idea of cheaper food on campus, Karen appears to be piggybacking off populist sentiment without having given much thought as to how these ideas might actually be implemented. This aside, we were convinced that if elected Karen would be a very competent Board Director as she has the skill set required to force policies to a head, even if not her own.

Policy: Tom wants to introduce a host of progressive policies, including solar panels and Fair-Trade, the latter of which is already being undertaken by the USU. He wants the Union to be open to running some services at a loss if important to students. Perhaps surprisingly to some, he was the only candidate to explain in detail how Universal Access could be implemented and expressed good knowledge of the Union’s finances. He also sees himself as a potential negotiator for the Union, basing this experience in his role as Vice-President of the SRC.

QUIZ BREAKDOWN:

QUIZ BREAKDOWN:

UNIVERSITY: 77% USU CULTURE: 65% USU REGULATIONS: 79% USU FINANCE: 80%

UNIVERSITY: 77% USU CULTURE: 38% USU REGULATIONS: 50% USU FINANCE: 60%

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Personality: We talked to Sophie about her role as president of SUBSKI, which was recently disaffiliated from SUSF. Sophie was upfront about the issues leading to the disaffiliation, citing them as: “inappropriate photos on [their] Facebook…and in newsletters”, “two accommodation related incidents where people made messes”, and their “party culture”. We were shocked to hear the reasons described in such detail but were impressed by her honesty.

SUBSKI aside, Sophie was calm and personable throughout the interview, though her answers were often longwinded and vague.

Policy: Sophie has the most extensive policy document of any candidate.

Upon interrogation however it appears Sophie has gone for quantity over quality. She wants to see changes in the compositional structure of the board but only lists ‘Colleges, Postgraduates and all campuses’ as those requiring more representation.

QUIZ BREAKDOWN: UNIVERSITY: 69% USU CULTURE: 23% USU REGULATIONS: 64% USU FINANCE: 70%

INTERVIEWS CONDUCTED BY BEBE D’SOUZA AND JACK GOW. PROFILES

HANNAH MORRIS

NICK COFFMAN

QUIZ RESULT: 54% PASS

QUIZ RESULT: 53% PASS

Politics: Hannah Morris is probably as close to the “everyday student” as exists in this year’s election. She got to know the Union the way most members do, via hanging out at Manning, Hermanns and the Clubs & Societies program. At the same time, it’d be wrong to say she is independent.

Along with Karen, she’s also enjoying support from the power base that is ‘collectivised independents’, with USU Presidential hopeful Rhys Pogonoski calling the shots (though not officially managing her campaign).

Politics: Nick Coffman is the college come Liberal candidate. He joined the Liberal Party two weeks before nominations were due, presumably as a condition for attaining their support. He says he wants to more fully involve residential students in the USU, but has no new policy directives on how to do that. He also had little idea about Union funding or SSAF negotiations and had never heard of the Sydney Life Fund.

Personality: You wouldn’t be far off in calling Hannah an anti-hack, at least in how she presents herself. She’s got verbal diarrhoea and to be honest, we didn’t take in half of what she said, but she gave the impression at the very least that she truly did love the Union, if nothing else. If she sticks to her guns, the ones that have led to her having what has clearly been a fantastic university experience, she could make a positive contribution to Board.

Policy: While Hannah’s policies are solid, if not overly inspiring, big questions hang over Hannah’s experience.

Ostensibly, it is there. She’s the only candidate who can say they founded a society, for example. However, Hannah fared poorly in the USU culture part of the Honi quiz, getting just 38 per cent of answers correct (second last, before Sophie, see below). This is coming from someone who until recently (she resigned after deciding to run for Board), held the position of USU Campus Culture Director.

QUIZ BREAKDOWN: UNIVERSITY: 69% USU CULTURE: 38% USU REGULATIONS: 79% USU FINANCE: 20%

Personality: In our interview, Nick bordered on aggressive. While clearly very intelligent, he struggled through some parts of the interview, and was particular cagey when faced with questions regarding his supporter base. Despite every possible sign, Coffman was unwilling to own the term “college candidate,” admitting only to being “college associated”.

When buzzed on his recent decision to join the Liberal Party, Coffman said he was told that “if you are Liberal, which I am, then it makes sense to join the Party. So I did.” Why he had to wait for directives pretty much sums up our impression of ‘The Coff’: a puppet.

Policy: Nick is running to maintain the intercol agreement. He does have a few other policies, but don’t expect them to be prioritised nearly as highly as the intercol agreement should (and we think it’s almost a certainty) Nick get on. One of these other policies, Coffman’s proposed USU app, turns out to already be in the works. This hasn’t stopped Coffman from keeping the policy up on his Facebook page.

QUIZ BREAKDOWN: UNIVERSITY: 58% USU CULTURE: 58% USU REGULATIONS: 50% USU FINANCE: 30%

OFILES WRITTEN BY BEBE D’SOUZA, JACK GOW AND PAUL ELLIS

JOHN HARDINGEASSON QUIZ RESULT: 52% PASS Politics: John Harding-Easson is the Student Unity (Labor Right) candidate, although they have not officially endorsed him. John appears to be keeping his Labor allegiance quiet though, drawing on an extensive circle of friends of various political persuasions. We asked John about whether his party affliations were simply a stepping stone to a political career, and while he asserted that it wasn’t, we remained unconvinced, though it is clear he does care for the Union.

Personality: John didn’t show us much. He answered our questions in more detail than most, but came across as a little lifeless. Don’t get us wrong - by Unity standards John is charismatic, he just hasn’t bucked the obvious “This Is Just The Beginning” trend in Labor candidates. In John’s defence, he’s very good at what he does. Despite our best efforts to get John to drop the “party line” he never cracked, even when we brought up the Labor family heritage John had that other candidates could only hope for.

Policy: Like every candidate John is running on amongst other things Universal Access. He gets a mention for being one of the few, though, that actually seems to have an idea of what this means and how it might be achieved. He also has one of the more inclusive campaigns, promising to get students from different faculties to contribute to how the Union runs in terms of business plans, building designs, and other infrastructure.

VALE SLOANE QUIZ RESULT: 49% FAIL Politics: Vale Sloane is a registered member of the Liberal Party of Australia. Despite this he readily admits he has received “no organised party support” and believes that “party politics should not be determinative on how people act as board directors”. Despite his conservative roots Vale said he would not actively oppose Voluntary Student Unionism if elected, as per regulations stipulated in the Union Constitution, suggesting he may be more moderate than college candidate Nick Coffman.

Personality: Vale spoke like a young politician, a skill probably honed from his time in Youth Parliament.

While he was undoubtedly confident in delivery his responses often seemed rehearsed and were circular. Vale has not held executive positions on any clubs and societies, though he stated that he believed it was enough to be involved on a “general basis like attending PolSoc’s how to write an HD essay”.

Policy: Vale’s policy document is incredibly brief. Vale explained to us in some detail how he could legally run a pop-up bar around campus.

When asked to explain his policies in more detail Vale assured us that more documents were “on their way” and that he was “still working through his ideas”. He commented that he didn’t see any problem with not having a fully thought-out policy document “this early in the campaign”. A few days after speaking to us, Vale released an extended version of his original policy document.

QUIZ BREAKDOWN:

QUIZ BREAKDOWN:

UNIVERSITY: 62% USU CULTURE: 38% USU REGULATIONS: 50% USU FINANCE: 60%

UNIVERSITY: 46% USU CULTURE: 57% USU REGULATIONS: 50% USU FINANCE: 40%

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honi soit

15

The Third Drawer CHALLENGE ACCEPTED

TOP FIVE...

Tips to avoid campus hacks Lane Sainty runs away, very quickly

Brace yourselves fellow students - for Union Board elections are here. Eastern Avenue and other campus hot spots are overrun with candidates in brightly coloured t-shirts asking you if you would mind hearing about their policies. If you in fact would mind, read on for some top tips on how to avoid being hassled by a campus hack!

Look angry

Joseph Istiphan accepted the ultimate Honi Soit challenge: run for union board. This is part two of his ongoing series There are a number of longstanding traditions associated with the University of Sydney Union Board elections. Perhaps one of the best known is the ritual castration of the Chancellor’s goats, a custom inaugurated by the university’s founder, Weary Vanderbilt University. On the night before the campaign season officially begins, the liberated testicles are blended in to the prospective candidates’ chalk mix in a symbolic gesture intended to represent the coming together of the University and the Union in the spirit mutual respect and support. As I was not “registered” as a “candidate”, I was forced to make do with some falafel balls I had brought from home, but the effect was much the same.

First up was John Harding-Easson who tendered his resignation from the Student Representative Council amid allegations that he was a florist from the future.

Sophie Stanton then stood up and proceeded to speak for all 30,000 students at this university (whom she’d met when she didn’t buy an ACCESS card in her second year), before defeating sexism once and for all by declaring that there was a provision for both a male and female Vice President in the SUBSKI constitution.

Really angry. Like, OUT TO KILL angry (Honi Soit does not condone actual violence against any Union Board candidates). Wearing black clothing can enhance this technique. Another helpful tip is to sport a pair of big headphones and blast the tunes - just don’t take them off under any circumstances.

Yell “I don’t even go here!”

Obviously, say this regardless of whether or not you actually go here. This is not only a logical reason why you wouldn’t be able to vote, but also a Mean Girls reference that will probably brighten the day of the serially rejected hack.

“I’ve already voted” This often works, but the hack probably won’t believe you and might even ask where you voted or whom you voted for. It’s a good idea to brush up on the various candidates and polling booth locations so you can shut them down at this point.

Steal a campaign shirt This is an almost fail-safe way of avoiding election harassment, but has the unfortunate downside of making you into a campus pariah whenever you are wearing it. Your friends will avoid you, and people who don’t even know you will cross to the other side of Eastern Avenue. It’s a tough road, but worth it in the long haul.

Don’t come to uni

Another takes place at Manning the following Tuesday: the University of Sydney Union Soapbox. All of the candidates are invited to take to the stage so that they might speak to their policies and field questions both from the floor and from a learned panel.

This year the learned panel was made up of USU president Sibella Matthews, Bull editor Bronte Lambourne, and Honi Soit’s own Bebe D’Souza.

However, those who were present on the day would have played witness to this University’s very own Tiananmen Square: I, the people’s candidate, was not permitted by the USU to take my rightful place alongside the other candidates on the stage. As I tried to negotiate the armoured tank of repressive censorship, I was forced back into the bosom of the masses from where I looked on with impotent rage.

16

Next up was Tom “Left Wing” Raue who spent twenty minutes reading aloud from the Communist Manifesto.

We then listened as Karen Chau pushed for a violent uprising; she insisted that food on campus was “shit” and things needed to be kicked.

The next speaker, Hannah Morris, went on to discuss astrophysics while ruminating on the nature of memory and experience.

She was followed by Nick Coffman who continued the highly academic turn of the session by engaging in a semantic confrontation with Sibella over the term “stakeholders”.

The final speaker, Vale Sloane, was then subjected to a thirty page question submitted online.

After spending more than an hour listening to the other candidates speak, I left Manning more certain than ever that the only way forward is Joe-motion. So ignore the meaningless buzzwords and put aside the empty promises and join me as we Joe Joe Joe our boats gently down the stream of freedom.

Clearly, some of the chalking got out of hand.

Honi’s not betting on an Alistair redux, but hey, anything could happen.

honi soit

@honi_soit

If you’re just too polite to effectively tell a hack to fuck off, your best bet is to skip class for the entire election period. Sad as it may seem, a total avoidance of campus itself is really the only way to guarantee an election-free university experience. Good luck!

THE

HACK

Illustration by Bryant Apolonio

Taboo DISSENT

‘We think Honi got it wrong’

As cuts continue, Honi should be the voice of students, not management, write Rob Boncardo, Erima Dall, Sam Lewin, David Potter and Imogen Szumer, members of the Education Action Group (EAG) It is not surprising that VC Dr Michael Spence and his PR Director Andrew Potter would want to use our student paper Honi Soit to run a procuts-anti-campaign diatribe, as they did last week. Desperate times call for desperate measures, and these managers are desperate to contain the anti-cuts campaign (which has already saved 45 academics from redundancy, nine from punitive teaching-only positions, and the Refugee Language Program), to restore their reputations, and to shore up their six-digit bonuses.

What is surprising is that the Honi editorial team would grant them a half page to do this. Another quarter page was given to pro-cuts student Dominic McNeil who advised protestors to “put down their placards and pick up their textbooks”. The SRC Education Officer’s column, squeezed in-between, makes the only sensible argument: namely, that a Vice-Chancellor who sets riot police on students on their own campus is clearly facing a “crisis of legitimacy”.

The tactics of mass rallies alongside occupations, walkouts, pickets and sitins have given this campaign its strength.

The unreasonable, anti-democratic and arbitrary nature of the cuts has demand-

ed the use of these tactics, none of which have been “violent”.

Andrew Potter may applaud “spirited debate and well-reasoned arguments” and plea for “acceptable standards of behaviour”, but how is it well-reasoned or acceptable that Dr. Adrian Heathcote, of the Department of Philosophy, who has five journal articles in the process of being peer-reviewed and a book ready for publication, is still being made redundant?

No reason has been given for not reconsidering his case, which is only one example of the disgraceful treatment by University management of academics.

Even the Dean of Arts Duncan Ivison, who defends the cuts, had to admit that “This process has had a negative effect on morale and a negative effect on the reputation of the University”.

Honi should have used its coverage to add to the chorus of calls for Spence to resign, and the cuts package – which includes a further 190 general staff, $28 million of non-staff expenditure, and a host of courses – to be scrapped altogether.

That would have reflected the overwhelming majority of student and staff opinion. 3935 students participated

in a referendum and 97 per cent voted against the cuts; 70 lecture theatres passed motions opposing the cuts; 1500 staff and students rallied against the cuts in week five; and 300 students, from eight lecture theatres, walked out of their classes to join the successful ‘siege on management’ in week seven. It is these voices that need to be heard. Spence has endless opportunity to sway opinion through mass emails, the university website, YouTube videos, and mainstream coverage.

But the Education Action Group (EAG) had to defend the campaign by producing its own, alternative coverage of the events (see it on Facebook at: USyd Students Against Staff Cuts).

It is heartening that, this week, members of the Honi editorial team requested this response from the EAG. Clearly, some of them grasp the legitimacy of the campaign and the fact that there is still a lot to fight for. But as the campaign carries on into the second semester, and as we continue to keep Spence on his toes, we call on Honi to get into line with the student voice that opposes the staff, budget and course cuts.

Join us at the next action to demand transparency; we want a list of all courses that will be cut due to reduced staff. “SPEAKOUT TO SIT IN”, Wednesday 23rd, 12.15pm, Eastern Ave (Fisher end).

LIFEHACKER

“I’m a stripper, and I’m a feminist”

If you think you’ve got strippers all figured out, think again, writes ‘Natasha’ People’s responses generally follow one of two lines when I tell them what I do for a living. It’s either “but that’s so degrading!” or “wow, you must be so confident!”

Yes, I’m a stripper. No, I don’t have “daddy issues”; no, I won’t do anything for money; and no, I’m not addicted to heroin/crack/meth. I’m a perfectly normal, 20-year-old Media & Communications student who happens to take her clothes off for a living.

Since everyone’s always so curious about my job, I’ve decided to clear up a few misconceptions, so the next time you meet a stripper, she’ll be spared the usual interrogation, and you can start treating her like a person, not some exotic animal on display at the zoo.

“ISN’T THAT DEGRADING? WHY ARE YOU SELLING YOUR BODY?” No, it’s not degrading, because I’m always in control: I determine who I dance for, I determine when, and I determine what they’re allowed to do.

I think that people who think sex work is inherently degrading are people who think sex is, by its very nature, dirty and bad and wrong. There’s nothing wrong with taking your clothes off, and there’s nothing wrong with doing it for money, as long as everyone involved is a consenting adult.

Honestly, the most degrading job I’ve ever had would have to be either working as a checkout chick, or a face-

to-face fundraiser – you know, those people standing on the street saying: “Hi it’s ___ from Oxfam, give me your credit card details!” The amount of abuse and vitriol you get as a fundraiser is unbelievable, and the way people look down on you working in a supermarket is equally so. I think it’s a lot more degrading to work your ass off for $14 an hour than it is to earn up to $100 in twenty minutes, when you just happen to get naked.

As for selling my body: let’s have a think about that, shall we? When you sell something, you lose possession of it. My body is definitely still here, and since men aren’t walking out of strip clubs with the severed limbs of strippers, I think we can safely assume that no one is actually selling their bodies.

What we do sell is time. I sell ten minutes of my time for $60, during which time I will dance, and take all my clothes off. At the end of the ten minutes, I’ll put my clothes back on, and walk out.

People who claim to be feminists and say that strippers or other sex workers are selling their bodies are the most irritating people, because they’re the ones who think that all a woman is worth is her body.

“YOU’RE SELLING YOURSELF.” No, I’m not. If you think that’s all I’m worth, that all I am is my body, and how good a person I am is directly

correlated to what I do with my body, then I’m sorry, but you’re not a feminist. If you don’t respect sluts, or strippers, or whores, then you don’t respect women, because the amount of respect you give a person is not contingent on how much clothing they wear.

“I THOUGHT YOU WERE A FEMINIST.” I am a feminist. In my Arts degree, I minored in gender studies. I run anti-oppression workshops on weekends. I go to Reclaim The Night every year, and I volunteer with Women for Women International and UNIFEM. ‘Stripper’ doesn’t equal ‘anti-feminist’. I’m a sex-positive feminist, who believes women have the right to do as they please with their bodies, and prescriptivism about said bodies is pretty damn anti-feminist. I don’t believe women need to cover up to have selfrespect, and I resent assumptions being made about me because of my job.

And if you’re a customer: • Yes, they’re real. You can touch them if you pay for it.

• For all intents and purposes, my real name’s Natasha. You really don’t need to know any more than that.

• Yes, I’m smart. Not just “for a stripper,” because most strippers are actually pretty smart. At my club there’s a med student, two nurses, someone studying for her Masters in Biochemistry and a girl with a Commerce Degree.

facebook.com/honisoitsydney

• How much to take me home? You know you’re in a strip club, right?

Stripping is a job. I don’t care how turned on you are after a dance, I’m just doing my job, and that’s all it is. Girls who do “extras” are a small and universally hated minority in strip clubs, because if you can get a blow job from one stripper, no one else is going to make any money.

There’s nothing wrong with consensual prostitution, but a brothel is the place for that, not a strip club.

• I’m gay, so no, I’m not going to go out for dinner with you. I don’t do that. Don’t ask. Don’t try. It’s not going to happen.

• My phone number is 1800-NOFUCK-OFF • NO I DON’T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR WIFE/GIRLFRIEND/ CHILDREN WHO ARE OLDER THAN ME. Natasha keeps a secret stripper blog at http://www.doubledhonoursdegree.tumblr.com

honi soit

17

Literary Supplement POETRY Foreword:

Gabby Florek

By William Haines

W

elcome

to the first Honi Soit literary supplement.

While there are avenues through which students can publish pieces of creative writing at Sydney University, they are few and far between. The Sydney University Literary Society and Honi Soit have therefore joined forces to try and create a space for student writers to regularly expose themselves to readers and other writers.

We feel that collaboration and feedback are essential components of growth, especially as we live in an age where the role of poetry and fiction has become increasingly hazy. What original literary work is there that needs to be done in Sydney during 2012? What can poetry achieve for us today? Our hope is that answers to such questions will become increasingly clear by allowing a greater level of communication between, and exposure for, young writers on campus.

We have intentionally chosen a format which leaves space for annotation in the hope that it will encourage the writing of criticism or the unearthing of somehow related pieces. I encourage anybody who has anything to say about the pieces, or would like to join the society, to send some thoughts to: secretary.literarysociety@gmail.com.

This is very much not only an attempt to keep the readership entertained or impressed. Our most important criteria were a clear voice, or a clear attempt at idiosyncratic or original form. You may not like them all (I certainly don’t), but I hope readers will recognise that each of the pieces selected are attempting to avoid (entirely) derivative writing (and that some of them are meant to be comic).

William Haines is the Literary Society President.

Silent Conversation

Marriage

Snails like to ponder in puddles -

You were juicy and red

thoughts lulled by the dull sounds of chewing.

this morning my love

Comments on weather exchanged over breakfast

this morning

because company enhances - the delectable foliage.

juicy and red.

You hung from a vine

I keep faith that giant feet will simply miss them in the grass

overlooking the sky

but their shells are never broken -

plump and proud

they are the home of withered souls.

you looked, over sky.

Pride in your cheeks

And when it’s raining softly

you wait eager for rain

I can hear them humming gently.

to cool down the warmth

They dream of turning green

you have stored in your skin.

just like a leaf

Last time I saw,

but they cannot - and so?

you were twisted and broken

They eat the leaf instead.

a hand clasped you roughly and tore at your stem.

She said she was mother come to pick a tomato.

Please return vine is naked without you.

Elena Zagoudis

Mariana Podesta-Diverio P.L.A.C.E

I

Imaginative heart

Scenes and vats, cut in half,

Asphalt asphalt

Fed with kindling.

So that I may write, the earth’s delights

And so that the world may take its

Catering

Etiquette lonesome

And love might kill stone dead

Greedy, deep inhalations, so too

Asphalt asphalt

Catering plants

The poet of yearning

Must beauty be created,

Plants

A lead followed by a path,

Asphalt catering

Clear, is hollowed

The ecstasies and miseries bequeathed

And in the capacity of

Asphalt plants

Out. Destroy, chainsaw,

Now upon us

One’s heart

Asphalt asphalt

Destroy, chainsaw

The memories that’ve taught us better

Catering plants

Catering to plants set

Too keen to wither quietly

Mutilations, intrinsic

In asphalt breaking

So, burrowing?

Etiquette as drilling

And I would say that freedom

The world will marvel, simply and lost;

The end is oft unreachable

Resounds and vibrates

Is within;

Transfixed in the macabre illusion

Chainsaw chainsaw

Disturbing regrowth and

The bounds of the soul speak

Catering plants

Stalling progress.

Elusively

Voiceover tremors ground

So that lonesome hollowed

Wacky ideas

Maps meet book-leaves

And the canter of a sweet heart

And though we remember them as dead

Chainsaw

Floating around back-hand

Tears holes, as the eyes of its

Their beauty fills an air around us

Etiquette lonesome

Maps, carting once known

Indecency

Etiquette lonesome

But oft-forgotten advice

And in this moment may we notice them,

Asphalt chainsaw

Influence and wisdom down

Catering plants

IV

Briefly creating our survival

Hollowed asphalt tunnels

Unearth treasure mapped

Where a resounding drill

What is in the deepest fear

For if the thing of beauty is a joy,

Backs of hands with

Caters to plantations

Then may it never pass into

Puzzles intrinsic to manual

Stabilising etiquette.

Of human existence is the Absence of beauty

Nothingness

Cartographers

Lonesome?

Books with endless leaves removed. Advice and

Catering plants.

Influence flood arson crime

18

honi soit

On the demand of the millions

And that the thing of beauty may be killed, Of love and loss and alas, exhaustion,

So these angels sidestep us in The quiet morning streetlights

As knowledge be a selfless and lifeless Thing, beauty must come from the

@honi_soit

Literary Supplement PROSE William Haines * Untitled

the enlightened.

A young man scrambled through the crowd, waving off the hawkers while trying not to bump the young or old. He anxiously flicked his cigarette away, though it was far from finished, entered the station, threw it a glance, identified the closest gate and walked to it as briskly as face would allow. He got through but not without and cursing himself for fumbling his ticket while his patent leather shoes skipped down the stainless stairs. The tracks were empty.

After a brief private apostasy he eased, body and soul, into a bench. He sat next to a girl ‘of about his own age’. He glanced at her, she glanced back. He looked away quickly and blushed; he never knew what these funny people thought of him, their expressions so neatly inscrutable. He had only lived in China for several weeks.

Rick picked a coin from his pocket, and gives me that old crooked Rick smile.

“Her majesty’s wrinkles and I drive home; tails and you give me the end of your finger”, he winked. I never liked these games, but it’s just how it is with Rick, you have to let him do his thing. “Fine, flip it”. He gives it a real flip, sent the thing spinning like a confused drug addict in a hula-hoop competition. It sails high over the bar, we watch it with rapt attention and Rick catches it perfectly.

He screens the coin with his other hand, sequestering the result with his wicked Rick look. “Do you have a knife?”, he asks earnestly. “Bullshit, let me see it”.

He tosses the coin at me, laughing that laugh. Typical Rick. I sigh. “Which one?”, “Pinky”. I got the thing off, pretty rugged and all so I wrapped it up in the stinky harry handkerchief I found on the bar. Tell you what, he says, pocketing it, “I›ll drive you home anyway”. Typical Rick, what a man. He goes to get the car and when he comes back he takes off laughing and leaves me to walk home. What a hoot. I love hanging out with Rick.

Watching them from the other side of the tracks one would have been presented with an amusing scene. The girl sat with her knees close, ankles apart, pigeon toed – like all good Chinese girls do. She stared straight ahead, or sometimes nailed away on her Samsung. He slouched back with his legs crossed wide, searching for something to take him out of himself, his moment of rest had not helped him forget his hurry.

Misha Hardwick * Daisy Chain

He saw somebody buying printer ink from a vending machine, but it held his agitated gaze for only a moment. Had he paid more attention he might have noticed the girl’s eyes slip a look sideways at him. Even so, he heard the slightest stirring of laughter.

When the next train came he got up hastily only to stand aimlessly while he waited for the train to come to a stop and the doors to open. He looked through the reflection on the train window as he boarded, she remained on the bench. She was watching him though.

The train was empty except for an ancient man diagonally opposite. The statue paid him no attention and so the young man (or boy, really, with his new companion) averted his gaze also, so as to abide by the rules the old man had somehow laid.

He tapped his foot and wished the train would move faster.

At the iron table on the veranda there was a man with a V-shaped dent in his head where his old hairline was. He was turning a glass in his fingers.

A woman with her hair in a shock came down the front steps of a big house. She stood puffing while the electric gate opened.

Up at the house, a very tall man stood in his lounge room between a couch and a coffee table. His clothes hung off him. Pinching his pants around his thighs, he hitched them up as he dropped onto the couch and his knees reared up like scissor blades.

A waiter folded a white cloth over his brown hand, then he took it off and dropped it on a bench. He picked up a wooden broom and stuck his chin on the end. He looked at the bald man who wasn’t ordering food today.

The woman walked along the footpath by the veranda of a cafe. Chunks of hair had escaped her clip and they flapped on her head as she walked. A man sipping a drink at one of the tables gulped what was in his mouth and got up to chase after her. But then on the street he hung back and followed her around for a few minutes. She got on a bus and he ran his hand over his smooth head and decided to walk back to pay for his drink.

Lucas Tooth * Typical Rick

A man stretched his long arms. He raked his glasses off his nose and dropped them on his desk. His eyes were glowing. He rubbed them, with his elbows shooting out at the sides of his head. He turned off his reading light and opened the blinds. The daylight clicked on.

The car was gone, it was done for, it car was wrapped around a pole. “I guess we better get out then”, he grunted. Julia was still in the back, but she was dead, and we had given up talking to her long ago. So the decision was mutual, we were getting out. I had no idea where to go, I was totally stumped. Micky’s would have closed hours ago; and we were two hairy Persians with a dead girl, we wouldn’t have been allowed in anyway. No way, at least I hope they wouldn’t, they have standards, that place.

Half stepping, half vaulting, Rick was out of the front seat and running. So I ran too, after disentangling the busted seatbelt like an impatient foetus and giving Julia a quick goodbye. Through some acidic clairvoyance I knew exactly where he was headed, and I’d have been damned if I didn›t beat him to it. Rotten Harry›s was the only place in the country that would accommodate two rotten scoundrel hooligans like us, dressed as we were and being like we were. No time for nonsense, I pulled over the first car that came past and employed their services. When I opened the door, Goddamn Rick was sitting there smug at the bar, a bit dusty but grinning from ear to ear. “Busted through the back wall. Thankfully there was no one in the crush, no worries”. Always one-upping me. What a bastard.

Harry is one of the ugliest people you will ever see. He sits on a rotten stool behind his rotten bar like a queen toad on a nest of regurgitated flies. His beady eyes squint from behind his old spectacles like two odd, cracked buttons on a homeless man›s overcoat, his nose hisses from a position so high on his face that officially it’s not even a nose. His mouth looks like an inflamed penis. “Two sherries please, Hazz”. He chokes and gurgles in reply, fixing the drinks and leaving brown sticky Harry-smudges on the glass. “I say, he’s a queer old josser, that harry”. Words of

The waiter cleared the tumblers and the glass jug. He stripped the cloth and gave the iron table a quick rub with a serviette. The bell tinkered and the man approached the counter with wrinkles piled up on his head until a point where his scalp was suddenly smooth. He placed his palms flat on the counter as though he was gentle and centered, but he kept his wrinkle-mask on.

The woman had her hair in a glossy bun. She came through the electric gate as it slowly swung. The door handle turned easily. She went straight to the kitchen, blended up some ice cubes with fruit and milk, and slumped in a couch to watch television. Her face retreated into her neck as she sipped her thick drink.

He stroked his smooth head, tracing out curling patterns. The layers of his forehead weighed on his brow. He was sunk in a big pillow with his legs spread wide and his feet sticking up at the ends. He lay right back with his neck exposed and his arms spread across the back of the lounge. He pried the shoes off his feet and left his legs stretched out with the crotch-portion of his pants propped up like a small hill.

He came down the steps in his socks and slid around on the floorboards like a gangly foal. He noticed the television was on. He looked over the dimpled couch and the cup with dregs at the bottom. A documentary was on which he liked so he pushed his glasses up his nose, crossed his ankles, and watched it till the end.

The waiter found a menu with a cracked spine and dumped it in the bin. The bald man was back at the iron table, like usual. The striped umbrella cast his face in blue shade. He ordered an expensive sandwich, folded his newspaper into a thin strip and left it on the table while he read a book.

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honi soit

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TECH NEWS: CAMPAIGN EDITION

REVIEW: VIDEO GAMES

Minecraft: Xbox 360 edition

Rob North discovers why Minecraft, even on the 360, is more than just a lego simulation

Minecraft Xbox 360 Edition: Same addictiveness as the PC original but with a better multiplayer experience

A game with no natural ending or even a main goal sounds like a recipe for disaster, yet Minecraft is exactly this and it is unbelievably rewarding. Originally released in 2009 for the PC, the game garnered a cult following, with players littering YouTube with videos of their gameplay and creations. Now available on the Xbox 360 via the Live Arcade, Minecraft: Xbox 360 Edition maintains much of the allure of its PC predecessor whilst adding new features and offering increased accessibility for new players.

Fans of the PC title may feel that the game is a step backwards, but overall the game provides hours of unstructured fun.

For those unfamiliar with the title, the core gameplay of Minecraft consists of (funnily enough) mining and crafting.

Everything the player makes requires resources. The world is constructed out of square blocks of varying materials which the player can harvest and use to

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create new structures and items. Basic materials such as dirt, wood and stone are in abundance, and will allow players to build simple structures and items to protect themselves from the dangerous zombies, spiders and suicide-bombers known as ‘creepers’ which inhabit the land. But more advanced items, weaponry and armour require rare minerals, requiring players to dig deeper and delve further into dangerous territory in order to find diamonds and gold.

The game consciously imitates the graphical style of yesteryear. The small square blocks which make up the world are reminiscent of the pixelated 8 bit era.

It lacks the high definition of modern games, but this approach gives the game a certain charm.

While the game is an amazing experience, players of the PC original may find the transition to the Xbox 360 platform jarring and relatively unfulfilling. For those unfamiliar with the title, Minecraft is periodically updated by its creators, offering new content and features to its gamers for free.

The Xbox rendition is based on a beta (public trial) version of the game released last year, meaning that anything added to the PC version over the last year or so is absent from the Xbox version. The Xbox version also lacks the user-created modifications, such as new texture packs and in-game items, which have made the title so appealing.

Rewarding experience: Examples of structures built by players of the original PC version Minecraft. Top: Floating Island, bottom-right: Millenium Falcon

Fans of the PC version will also be disappointed by the lack of a free-form creative mode, but it’s not a huge detraction from the overall experience.

However, what the PC version lacks, the Xbox version contains. While the original PC version gave little advice or indication of what to do in order to succeed, the Xbox version adds a number of tutorials and a streamlined crafting system, making it much easier for new players to approach the game.

The Xbox edition also addresses the PC version’s unstable multiplayer issue directly, providing an extremely robust

#honitech

and enjoyable multiplayer experience supporting up to eight players online and four players split-screen offline. In both cases, guests can drop in and out of the game at any time, helping their host gather resources and build structures. It’s a really fun experience exploring dark caverns with friends, and provides a great way to show off your creations.

It’s an incredibly charming game, and while it may not quite entice veteran PC players, Minecraft: Xbox 360 Edition will keep newer players (and those with friends) entertained for hours.

Action-Reaction SCIENCE FEATURE

Sydney University harnesses the sun’s energy

Hushed away in their labs, our resident physicists are up to something, investigates Darcy Gray energy (E). Many of us will recognise the equation, E=MC2, which governs this conversion.

As C2 is approximately ninety quadrillion (m2s-2), even a small amount of mass change results in phenomenal amounts of energy. On top of this enormous energy output for the amount of fuel, fusion creates none of the dreaded radioactive waste which typical nuclear (fission) reactors produce - the only side effect of its waste is a slightly higher voice.

When asked to conjure up a mental image of renewable energy sources, many people will picture solar panels sitting static on rooftops, or wind turbines turning lazily in the wind.

However the Plasma Physics group at the University of Sydney (occupying labs merely 160 metres from Manning House) imagines using one of the most energetic processes in existence, the very process which powers our own Sun.

Nuclear fusion Nuclear fusion occurs at huge temperatures, in the range of millions of degrees Celsius, naturally only achieved at the centre of the sun, and combines the lightest element on earth, Hydrogen, into Helium (the second lightest). In this process some mass (m) of the Hydrogen is lost, converted directly into

So why are the fantastic advantages of fusion technology over, say, solar or hydro power generation, not a focus of copious amounts of government funding and public advocacy? Well the technology is still in its infancy; with the first reactor demonstrating power generation ability (the International Thermonuclear Experimental Reactor, or ITER) in the pipeline to be online in France within ten years at an estimated construction cost of 13 billion euros. The first commercial reactor, DEMO, is to follow some time later.

This long development process is primarily caused by the need for a huge device (generally weighing thousands of tonnes), known as a Tokamak, which confines the extremely high temperature plasma with magnetic fields while fusion takes place.

This is where Sydney’s Plasma Physics

FREAKS OF NATURE

Kodiak Bears

group steps in. After Sydney’s Tokamak went offline in the late 90s this group has been pursuing an alternative form of fusion reactor, an inertial electrostatic confinement reactor, which is small and simple enough to be built in a home garage (and it has been!). This version of the reactor, initially invented by Philo Farnsworth (inventor of the television), Lane Sainty has found some uses electric fields to confine the high relatively gentle giants energy plasma long enough for fusion to In many ways, bears are highly mistake place. understood. Perhaps in an attempt to compensate for our lack of contact with This version of the fusion reactor is bears, humans have produced various very promising; with the Sydney team one of the few groups in the world pur- inaccurate representations. For example, most of us have possessed a teddy bear suing this area, another notably being at one stage or another. We may have the fairly secretive research performed experienced life-threatening bears in their by the US Navy. This military investnatural habitat— but usually, only on epiment stems from the potential to miniasodes of Man vs. Wild with Bear Grylls. turise the reactor, which could be used It’s clear that bears are seen as one in, amongst other things, a submarine. or the other; forced into a dichotomy Matthew Carr, a PhD student on the consisting of gentle and aggressive that no project, is convinced of the technoloone ever questions. But there is more to gies’ potential, stating it may be what bears than meets the eye. drives future generations of space craft Enter the Kodiak bear. Found only on as the deuterium fuel required is abunthe islands of the Kodiak-Archipelago in dant on the surface layers of the moon. South-Western Alaska, these bears have been genetically isolated since at least the “Some of the estimates for our machines are not very impressive. But it is last ice age. This means that while most North American brown bears have been the first machine, the first design,” he categorized into a single subspecies— says. ursos arctos horribilis, or the infamous If you take only one thing from this ‘Grizzly Bear’— the Kodiak bear is still article let it be this: we have a tiny considered a unique subspecies. replica of the sun twinkling in our own university.

SPORT

Chelsea’s crown, England’s reputation

Easily lie the heads that will wear this crown, reports Richard Withers the beginning of an incredible journey under new manager Roberto Di Matteo, who somehow galvanised a disgruntled group of ageing Chelsea stars.

In what could prove to be the final match in the distinguished Chelsea career of club-stalwart Didier Drogba, the Ivorian striker coolly tucked away the penalty that cemented Chelsea’s place in history as the 2012 champions of Europe’s elite club competition.

Even reaching the final looked near impossible a mere few months ago as Chelsea battled turmoil on and off the pitch, slipping to sixth in the league (a position from which they did not recover) and sacking their recently appointed manager, Andre Villas-Boas, only half a year into his troubled reign.

With English teams faltering in the UEFA Champion’s League, Europe’s main stage, Chelsea appeared set to join Arsenal, Manchester City and Manchester United in not making it as far as the quarter-final stages of the elite competition. A gutsy comeback in their last 16 tie against Napoli, however, was to be

With very real concerns hanging over the English Premier League’s status as the most competitive league in the world, Sunday morning’s victory went great lengths toward quelling fears that this mantle would soon be passed on.

But how much will this do to augment the standing of the top English Premier League sides?

Despite the UEFA Champion’s League being respected as the competition that showcases the best club football worldwide, Chelsea has been slammed by football ‘purists’ for playing an unattractive style of football.

After reaching the latter stages of the competition, Chelsea adopted an approach that favoured gritty defence and tactics designed to curb the influence of some of the world’s best players. Barcelona’s Lionel Messi and Andres Iniesta were well held over two semi-final legs before Bayern Munich’s daunting threepronged attack of Mario Gomez, Arjen Robben and Frank Ribery looked equally ineffectual against an undermanned but defiant Chelsea side.

While the brand of football exhibited

by Chelsea is unlikely to win over a new legion of fans, it’s hard to imagine them winning any other way. Quite frankly, they won’t care in the slightest and nor should they.

Bear-wise, Kodiaks are outstripped in size by only the Polar bear. An adult male Kodiak stands at approximately 1.5 metres when on all fours, and can measure up to 3 metres tall when standing. That’s 10 feet. To put it gently: that is a big fucking bear.

Despite their enormous stature, Kodiak bears are generally shy and solitary, happy to live out their days in relative peace. Far from being inherently aggressive, they would prefer to avoid interaction with humans. However, if they are threatened, frightened or startled, they will not hesitate to attack - sometimes with dire consequences.

As current Real Madrid manager Jose Mourinho said in reference to the styles of Spanish, German and Italian football: “English football has a few things to learn from them in the same way they have a lot of things to learn from English football.”

It would be a misnomer to label the Kodiak bear a gentle giant, but it would be just as incorrect to say they are dangerously aggressive. Only one person has been killed by a bear on the Kodiak-Archipelago in the past 80 years - and with all due respect, they were hunting in the bear’s territory.

Sunday morning’s victory reaffirmed something that has characterised the English game in recent years; an ability to negate the world’s best and when the right moment comes, to pounce on it.

If you’re enthralled, there are viewing tours available to see these majestic bears in the wild. But first, a word of warning: don’t go too close in pursuit of the perfect Kodiak moment.

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SRC Reports President’s Report

PRESIDENT @ SRC.USYD.EDU.AU

Phoebe Drake implores you to get involved and vote spent. You will see this emerge sometime in June and it will be sent to your email, so please also fill that in.

On another note, there can be, for many students, slight confusion between the activities of the USU and the SRC, because both student organisations exist for students, and are run by students.

STUDENT PARTICIPATION = STRONG STUDENT ORGANISATIONS As you will have no doubt noticed, Sydney University is, this week, dotted by a flurry of colours as candidates and campaigners compete for both your attention and votes in the USU Board of Directors election.

The SRC is, in a nutshell, the chief representative body for undergraduate students on campus. I sit on committees and boards within the university and advocate for change around issues, whether it be appeals process, alterations to degrees, academic honesty, or a number of other issues.

That’s not to say there won’t be student consultation, because there will be - and, at the moment, the student organisations are working with the university to develop a survey to gauge where students feel money should be

HONOURS UPDATE Quite recently, the university held its first Honours Working Party. Recently, universities such as Macquarie have actually gotten rid of their honours year and other universities are now looking to do the same.

At Sydney University, however, 1500 students undertake honours each year.

It’s something that is valued because it allows for one extra year, intense research, and an opportunity to pursue an area of interest. And, as many of you know, the SRC has conducted a survey on the future of honours and students’ perception of the value of honours in their degree.

And, as is the case every year, in every student election, only a small proportion of you will actually head to the polls and cast your vote. The thing is that this year, voting in student elections and participating in student organisations is more relevant than ever before as all student organisations are now funded by the Student Services and Amenities Fee. So in a sense, when you elect someone, whether it is SRC or USU, you are also indicating (by virtue of supporting one particular policy over another) where exactly you would like the SSAF - your money - to be spent.

So, quite clearly, Sydney University has two distinct but important organisations. Additionally, student organisations mean very little without their membership. Whilst organisations will define this in different ways, it is your participation, be it though voting in an election, filling in a survey, or participating in an event, which makes organisations like the SRC valuable.

Additionally, the SRC provides a free legal service, casework and policy advice, a secondhand bookshop, our departments run campaigns and a number of other things. The USU is quite different. It looks after your social life on campus by running the food and retail outlets, the bars, clubs and societies, and festivals such as Verge and O’Week.

Thus far, nearly 200 students have filled in the survey (if you still want to you can), and consequently, in my meeting, I was able to take the voice of 200 students with me.

While complete data is yet to be collated, it was interesting to see in the category of those currently studying honours that students came from seven different faculties and 15 different degree backgrounds. All students commented on the value of honours and saw benefits when it came to research,

General Secretary’s Report

employment, pursuing an area of interest, gaining an extra qualification or enabling further study (either required or desired).

Students, on the whole, felt that Commonwealth Supported Places made a difference too.

The remaining categories, yet to be sorted, include students wishing to study honours, students who have already studied honours, and students who do not intend to study honours.

The information you provide will be used by the SRC to guide honours policy in the university over the next several years, so your voice does count.

At the moment, whilst the Working Party looks to standardise the system, comments on the value and benefits of honours will be used to inform the decision making process.

All this and more will be available on the SRC website at the completion of the survey, so please, head online at: http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/ CVSRDJZ to have your say.

Phoebe Drake is the SRC President Twitter: @srcpresident

GENERAL..SECRETARY @ SRC.USYD.EDU.AU

Tim Matthews ponders an honourable future another year to a degree that already looks set to swallow a decade of my life.

Therefore, the conversation that the university is currently engaging in about the future of its honours program is very close to my heart. The SRC was involved in a consultation meeting for this process last week.

It is great to see that so many students have filled in the SRC’s online honours survey. Respondents broadly concurred that they believed an extra year of independent study was in their interests intellectually, creatively, personally, and for future employment opportunities.

I am currently at the point in my degree that I know many of you are either at or heading towards, where I am considering undertaking an honours year. I’m completing the prerequisites, have read the materials, and am deciding whether I can really afford to add

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The reasons that students cited for wanting to undertake this year of study varied – for many it was about an opportunity for independent research; for others it was to attain and apply new skills; for some it was to overcome the ‘shame’ of declaring: “I have a Bachelor of Arts” (which, as a proud Arts student, I don’t think you should be nervous about!).

There are tangible reasons that the university ought to continue offering an honours program as well. At a meeting of university academics and administrators on the theme of ‘internationalism’ last year, a number of academics opined to me that the program was the only way that foreign institutions (particularly in the UK and US) would fully recognise an undergraduate qualification from Australia.

Perhaps the most persuasive reason to maintain an honours year is its comparable affordability to similar options such as a masters or other postgraduate qualifications. Honours, unlike many other qualifications, is open for Commonwealth Supported Places, meaning that the government pays for some of your education. #winning (apologies to international students – the system will continue to fuck you no matter what you do).

Honours may lead to this not happening

This is an ongoing conversation with the university. I would encourage you to fill out the survey to tell the university what you think – it might make my degree planning a little easier too!

Tim Matthews is the SRC General Secretary Twitter: @Tim_Matthews

For more information about the SRC, visit: www.src.usyd.edu.au honi soit

@honi_soit

SRC Reports Women’s Officers’ Report

WOMENS.OFFICERS @ SRC.USYD.EDU.AU

The Women’s Room is unsuitable and should be moved, writes Kate O’Brien Lots of women have magically been able to find the Women’s Room - which is great, but also a surprise since it’s down the bottom of the Holme Building and completely unknown to the average, unsearching eye.

It’s always a thrill when I am chilling down there between classes and see a few women come and go.

Except recently I have begun chatting to the women who breeze into the room, asking them how they, you know, came across the Women’s Room AT ALL. Most of them inform me that they are third or fourth year students who just happened to hear about it through the grapevine. Occasionally they’re postgrad and searched out such a place.

Which is lovely.

But I predict that many, many more women would use the Women’s Room if it were in a more present, accessible location.

That is why we are trying to get the Women’s Room moved!

The Women’s Room is an important space for a number of reasons:

the only location on our campus in existence for such a purpose.

The Women’s Room is the ONLY place on campus women can go to breastfeed or change a nappy with the exception of the toilets, which, let’s face it, are not a particularly appealing environment.

The lack of reception (both for mobile and internet) is generally troublesome because the Women’s Room is supposed to be a safe space. It is supposed to be somewhere women students and visitors can go at basically any time for any purpose. There is nothing safe about an area down steep stairs, where you have to walk through often dim corridors with no reception.

I have had the pleasure of bumping into two mums in the Women’s Room on different occasions. One of them explained that she was forced to leave her pram at the top of the stairs because she couldn’t lug it down with the baby and all of her stuff. The other explained that due to the lack of reception, she was concerned when her sister was looking after her baby in the Women’s Room that if something happened she wouldn’t be able to be contacted.

Similarly, the lack of accessibility to the Women’s Room has enforced an element of exclusion - women with any physical disabilities basically cannot access the Women’s Room. There is no

option to get down there aside from the stairs, and it is deep inside the building.

The purpose of the Women’s Room is not being entirely fulfilled while this sector of women struggle to have access to the same resources and space made available to all other woman-identifying students.

We want all women to be welcomed and able to utilise the Women’s Room.

It’s unfair and unjust for any woman to be barred from accessing a space designed specifically for women;

Education Officers’ Report

The Holme Building also closes quite early, which means it cannot be accessed for safety or other purposes at night.

The room itself is not very large - the Women’s Collective struggles at times to fit in all of our enthusiastic members, but we manage to deal.

Ideally the room would be a little hub for women on campus in a location easily and comfortably accessed by all women who wish to utilise the space.

Kate O’Brien is one the SRC Women’s Officers

EDUCATION.OFFICERS @ SRC.USYD.EDU.AU

Some costs invoked by students are actually illegal, writes Sam Farrell Anybody who has ever paid for a textbook, a lab coat, a reader, a field trip, or an accompanist knows that education comes at a cost. Once or more a semester, these ancillary course costs put a dent in our sometimes droopy student bank accounts.

However, it comes as a surprise to many students that many of these costs turn out to be illegal. The Higher Education Provider Guidelines, in tandem with the Higher Education Support Act, set out a list of criteria upon which a university can or cannot charge a fee that is incidental to the course or program of study.

To preface this list of criteria, the SRC will be conducting an information-gathering and lobbying campaign to begin a more rigorous regulation and ultimately the eradication of illegal course costs. If you come across a ridiculous course cost

that does not comply with the following criteria, let us know. We’re hungry to know about more possible breaches.

Sydney University can charge a fee IF: •

It is for a good or service that is not essential to a course

•

It is charged for an alternative form of access to a good or service that is essential to a course, but is otherwise made available for free by the University

•

•

•

It is for an essential good or service, but can be sourced from somewhere other than the University AND is for: Equipment that become the property of the student and aren’t consumed during the course of study OR; Food, transport and accommodation for field trips

•

It is imposed as a disincentive and not in order to raise revenue or cover administrative fees

The overriding principle that enshrines the ideal of a free and accessible tertiary education is also found in these guidelines – if there is any doubt as to whether an item is essential or not, a charge should not be made.

It’s also important to note that the legislation is more complex than this list, and covers a range of extensions and exceptions to the guidelines.

Broadly speaking, the goal of this campaign is to initiate the inception of an ancillary course cost regulatory committee in order to raise awareness of the reach of these provisions during the process of course design. The University of Queensland has successfully introduced such a committee, much to the

Vice-President’s Report

Sam Farrell: artist’s impression

benefit of students’ hip pockets.

It is important to note, however, that blame cannot be laid solely upon Sydney University’s sandstone doorstep – base funding for higher education is chronically deficient and incongruous with the standards that universities are held to.

That said, this law exists for a reason: it should be enforced.

Sam Farrell is one of the SRC Education Officers

VICE.PRESIDENT @ SRC.USYD.EDU.AU

The independence of the SRC is under threat, writes Tom Raue The SRC cannot function properly because our independence is under threat. To understand why, I’ll give a brief overview of how we receive our funding. For the last several years, the university funded us out of its own coffers. This year, the uni has withdrawn that funding and replaced it with increased student fees from the Student Services and Amenities Fee. These two situations share the same basic problem: The university is in control of the SRC’s money. This is true whether the money is sourced from a tax like SSAF or more directly from the university.

This is problematic because the university and the SRC are often in con-

flict. When the SRC fights for smaller class sizes, getting lectures online, or an end to staff cuts, we are attacking the university. An institution like the university is often slow to change, and the administrators might find it more convenient to eliminate their opposition rather than compromise.

Because of this, the SRC cannot push too hard on sensitive issues. We are hamstrung by our reliance upon the university for funding. With current funding arrangements, the SRC cannot help students as much as we should.

There are no easy solutions to this problem. There are no viable sources of money for the SRC aside from the

university. A return to compulsory student unionism, with the government funding the SRC directly rather than via the uni, would suffice. This is unlikely to happen under the wishy-washy Gillard government or a terrifying Abbott government.

One option would be to secure funding from the university for more than a year. Renegotiating every year gives the university many opportunities to cut our funding. If we locked in longer term contracts, this would solve the problem.

However, we may be locked in to an unfair arrangement for many years, so this is still not a perfect solution.

Even outside of the yearly funding

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arrangement, the university can restrict our independence. The Vice Chancellor, Dr Michael Spence, has threatened to charge the SRC for extra security he puts on at protests. He seeks to blackmail the SRC and make us shut up about staff cuts. The SRC only supports peaceful protests, and I don’t think there is a need for extra security. If Spence loves guys in uniform so much, he should pay for it, not us.

I haven’t offered any great solutions to this threat to our independence, because I see none. The university will always seek to suppress scrutiny and criticism. Dang.

Tom Raue is the SRC Vice-President

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SRC Help

What are your Rights with Police?

Ask Abe

Police have the right to ask for your name and your address. It is usually a good idea to give them these details, but you don’t have to tell them anything else.

You have to give the police your ID if: • you are under 18 and they suspect that you are drinking or carrying alcohol; • the police suspect that you have been involved in or have witnessed a serious crime; or • you are driving.

The police can only take you somewhere else if you agree or if you have been arrested. If you are under 18, there must be a responsible adult with you when you talk to the police. You should not answer any questions or sign anything until you have received legal advice.

If you are arrested, the Police have to tell you: • that you are under arrest; • what they have arrested you for; • the name of the police officer/s involved; and • which police station they are from.

The police can arrest you if: • they suspect on reasonable grounds that you have committed a crime; • they suspect you have breached your bail conditions; • they think you are about to commit a breach of the peace; or • there is a warrant out for your arrest.

Police can use reasonable force to arrest you. When talking to the police,

you should be careful not to swear, because they could charge you with using offensive language. The police can also charge people with resisting arrest, so it is best to be careful and not use any physical force when interacting with them. The police can detain you for up to four hours. After this time, they either have to charge you with an offence or let you go. They have to let you talk to a lawyer or a friend. If you are under 18 years old, you have the right to have a support person with you. If you are Aboriginal or Torres Strait Islander, the police must call the Aboriginal Legal Service.

If police are going to search you, they have to tell you: • that they are a police officer (if they are not wearing a uniform); • the reason for the search; • the officer’s name; and • which police station they are from.

Police have the right to use sniffer dogs without a warrant in the following places: • around locations where alcohol is sold;

has drugs on them. If a dog sits next to you, this gives the police reasonable grounds to suspect you have drugs, and they might search you.

Be careful about the language you use when talking to the police. If you swear at the police, you could be arrested for using offensive language. But you do not have to go to the police station unless you are arrested.

Police have the power to pick up people who are affected by alcohol or drugs, and who are behaving in a disorderly manner or who need physical attention. They might take you home or place you in the care of a responsible person. If the police can’t find a responsible person, they can keep you at a police station until you sober up.

They can also use reasonable restraint to make sure you don’t injure yourself or damage any property. If they detain you, they should make sure that you are kept separate from people who have been charged with criminal offences.

help@src.usyd.edu.au Phone: 9660 5222

• at public events such as dance parties;

Satellite Campuses:

• if you are on public transport, or at a train station or bus stop.

Cumberland: Tuesdays and Wednesdays in the Library

The police can’t make you stay in the one spot while the dog sniffs around an area. The sniffer dogs are trained to sit next to a person who they suspect

Conservatorium of Music: Thursdays, Room 2125, level 2 Dentistry: Fridays, Room 8, Level 8,

The right to silence: Why this is important The right to silence is one of the basic rights in our legal system. There is a very practical reason why you should assert this right whenever you are questioned by The Police.

A crucial element of every criminal offense is intention which is the state of mind of the accused at the time of the commission of the offense. The onus is on the prosecution to prove the intention of the accused beyond reasonable doubt.

This can be difficult if you have not given a statement to The Police. They will often ring you and ask you to go to the Police station to give a statement.

You have a right to refuse to say anything with regard to the circumstances of the alleged offense. You should give only give your name and address at the time of arrest.

Cases that have come before me where this has been found to be really important are drug offenses, Centrelink offenses, offenses relating to the alleged theft of property, and trespassing or squatting offenses.

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For example when you have failed to declare your income correctly to Centrelink, any statement made by you may be taken to be an admission that you didn’t report your income correctly because you intended to defraud the Commonwealth of the money you were incorrectly paid.

that they were invited in by the occupant who, the law has recognised, does not need to be the legal owner of the property. There is also a defense that you did not intend to trespass because you did not know the legal circumstances surrounding the occupation by the person who invited you in.

Or in the case of a drugs offense a statement from you as to why you were carrying more than one ecstasy tablet, might be enough to increase the seriousness of the charge to supply. Similarly with a charge relating to a theft, an admission by you might make it impossible to mount a defense that you walked out of a shop with something accidentally.

It is important to remember that exercising your right to silence cannot be used against you in court.

In the case of trespassing or squatting offenses, you have a good defense if you were not the first person to enter the property. Anyone else can claim

We handle all criminal matters at the SRC Legal Service, including representing you at court. If you need help ring 9660 5222 and make an appointment, or just drop in on Tuesday or Thursday between 1:00 pm and 3:00 pm.

Maggie Hayes Solicitor, SRC Legal Service

@honi_soit

Dear Abe, I have just received a letter from Centrelink saying that I have been overpaid. I had been reporting my income according to my jobs’ pay fortnight, but they wanted it to be according to their pay fortnight. I didn’t try to hide money from them.

I’ve declared everything, but they’re getting really angry because it makes a difference to my student income bank.

Fortnight Mismatch

Dear Mismatch, As you need to report your gross earnings you should be able to just keep records of the amount of hours you have worked during your Centrelink fortnight and multiply that by your hourly rate. That will help you for future reportings.

However, for this situation you need to first establish whether or not you have been overpaid. Ask for a copy of your file (Freedom of Information Act). Your file will be huge so it will take weeks to compile. When you do get it calculate what you should have been reporting and how this would have affected your Student Income Bank and therefore your payments. Of course you can ask the SRC for help with this.

In the meantime Centrelink will probably start taking money out of your payments to pay off the debt. If this will cause you extreme financial hardship contact Centrelink and see how small a payment they will allow you to have. Also consider going to the Financial Assistance Centre of the University to be able to pay it off as a lump sum. If you can show the debt to be incorrect you will be able to get this money back.

If they ask you to attend an interview in their offices I would advise you to decline, but instead offer to answer any written questions that they have. Do not do this without talking to SRC Help.

Abe Abe is the SRC’s welfare dog.

If you would like to ask Abe a question send an email to help@ src.usyd.edu.au. Abe gathers his answers from experts in a number of areas. Coupled with his own expertise on dealing with people, living on a low income and being a dog, Abe’s answers can provide you excellent insight.

Lecture Notes THE QUIZ Part 1: UNIVERSITY (13 marks) 1. Who is the Vice-Chancellor of the university? Who is the Chancellor? (2 marks) 2. Name four campuses of the University.

3. What day is Honi usually distributed?

This is the quiz which was given to the current USU election candidates.

Answers on our Facebook page.

Full report: page 13

You cant have it Ti evah tnac uoy

Part 2B: REGULATIONS (14 marks)

1. What year was the Affirmative Action Requirement 4. How many privately owned, residential colleges are there introduced to the Board’s constitution? on Camperdown Campus? (NB: International House is owned 2. Name all current members of the board, indicating any by the university) Name each of them (2 marks) executive positions.

5. Who was the last Rhodes Scholar appointed from the 3. How many editors are there of Hermes?

University of Sydney?

4. How many undergraduate students voted in the Union 6. Approximately how many international students are elections last year, to the nearest thousand? enrolled at the University of Sydney? (to the nearest 1000)

TEASER

TARGET

7. Name the current president of the SRC.

5. True or False. The USU has an Indigenous officer.

R

M

8. What is STUCCO?

6. True or False. It is possible to be President of more than one USU club or society.

E

R

9. What is the maximum number of days you can receive for a simple extension?

7. Where is the International Students Lounge?

10. The University of Sydney is situated on Aboriginal land.

To which tribe and/or nation does it belong?

8. Which two former board directors were expelled from the board last year? What were their positions? (2 marks)

11. What food outlet recently closed in Wentworth?

9. Approximately how many members does the USU have to the nearest thousand?

10. Is ‘Debates’ a club, society or other?

PT 2: UNION A) CULTURE (13 marks) 1. Name any two SUDS and/or MUSE productions performed this year.

2. True or False- Tuesday Talks takes place on Tuesdays.

A T

D O O Make as many words out of the letters above, always including the letter in the centre.

12 = Well done son.

26 = Doing better than that other guy.

11. Everyone can attend Board meetings of the USU, but only certain people have the right to speak and vote on decisions.

Who can speak but not vote? (2 marks)

59 = Three letter words don’t count.

12. What product did the Union cease commercial operations of last year?

3. What time and day does Theatresports occur?

4. Where are the majority of USYD Revues performed?

C) FINANCE: (10 marks)

5. What was the theme of last year’s Verge festival?

1. How much does it cost for one year of ACCESS? How much does membership cost for Semester 2 only? (2 marks)

6. How many beers are available at Hermann’s?

Name all of them

2. Name four off-campus outlets that accept ACCESS.

7. How many days did it rain at O-Week this year?

Circle one: 1, 2, 3 or 4?

3. How many organizations received SSAF funding? Name all of them. Who received the most? (3 marks)

8. How many editions of Bull Mag have been published this semester? Who edited in 2011? (2 marks)

4. What is the ‘Sydney Life Fund’?

9. Name one club or society that started in 2011?

5. What was the highest polling answer to the university’s survey question: “What should SSAF money be spent on?”

10. What was the theme of C&S Awards night in 2011?

6. Approximately how much did the USU rebranding cost?

11. Under what building is the cellar theatre?

7. What was the operating budget of the Union last year?

CROSSWORD ACROSS

DOWN

1. I’m Aunt’s shambolic disaster (7)

2. Suggestions limit us somehow (7)

5. Homer’s work for headless body’s returned in the affirmative (7)

3. “Evening sir,” we hear (5)

9. Call circle (4)

4. Virgin Mary is off her head on sodium (7)

10. Not enough for the swimmers in ocean, say? (10)

6. Education has no time for motorbike (6)

12. Dog on old sheep (6) 13. Vicious without girl (8)

7. Sean Connery’s egocentric mollusc?

(9)

14. Lone crusader is leaving it broken (9)

8. Covered the finish embracing argument (7)

16. Rear me in Indian tongue (5)

11. I am Adam? (5,6)

17. Room is awfully dusty (5)

15. Make dem ill standing like dis? (9)

19. Inside of E.T. is his minor kinkiness (10)

18. Neither moves in that place (7)

23. I like certain contained portions (8)

21. Fight! Fight bird! (7)

24. Rod is within pupil, largely (6)

22. Smaug to take a long time (6)

26. Creatures hold extended possessions (10)

25. Enjoy going back for handle (5)

20. I’m not fashionable in stalemate (7)

27. Swing via Troy, oddly (4) 28. Aerial worker and Ms. Frank taken aback (7) 29. He prepares Bible chapter (7) Please direct any questions or complaints to ghoti.cryptic@gmail.com

facebook.com/honisoitsydney

Brain Teaser Answer: You can't have it both ways

Ghoti

honi soit

25

The Sandstone Report UNION BOARD ELECTION SPECIAL

I

n election season, it’s often hard to differentiate between the obnoxious primary colours lining Eastern Ave. In order to learn more, Honi conducted approximately half-hour long interviews with each of this year’s Board candidates.

Before the interview, we got the candidates to complete an extensive 50 question long quiz pertaining to several facets of university and Union life.

You can take the quiz yourself on page 25. Be warned, it’s thorough and challenging, as the results to the right indicate.

We encourage you to read up on all of the candidates, so you can make the most informed decision possible.

HONI TAB Odds of Common policies: universal access: $1.01 Fair trade coffee: $1.04 better food outlets: $2.35 inauguration day party: $6.89 disaffiliation with the colleges: $23.70 rickshaws on campus: $71.54 compulsory student unionism: $104.43 apartheid: $235.07 slavery: $262.90 steak holders: $512.63

26

honi soit

TRACY MEADOW

IBIS #142

QUIZ RESULT: 98% HIGH DISTINCTION Slogan: Squawk!

Buzzwords: Squawk, Squawk, Squawk CV: • Daily scavenge through bin outside Taste • Bird Flu

AKA ‘MATURE AGE STUDENT’

QUIZ RESULT: 65% CREDIT

• Nest in Victoria Park • Squawk!

Politics: Ibis #142 is far and away the best candidate in this year’s election.

Not a member of any political party, the Ibis also does not answer to a current board member, or ‘overlord’ as they are more commonly known.

The Ibis is a centre-left candidate with progressive views on the role of the Union, tempered by a strong emphasis on fiscal responsibility. The only true independent of the entire field, the Ibis decided to run when she became aware of the dismal lack of quality candidates. She remained coy about who she would vote for as President if elected, preferring to rummage through an abandoned baguette packet.

Personality: #142 is probably the closest to a regular university student of all the candidates. Unlike the rest of them, she seems to be running out of a genuine passion for the Union as opposed to merely stacking her CV and stroking her ego. She enjoys hanging out on the Law Lawns and pooing on unwitting passers-by.

Policy: The Ibis is the only candidate with specific policy ideas that are actually implementable. She has shied away from the blatant populist pandering, insisting that her policies be grounded in reality and not just thought up to get her elected only to be abandoned once a Board member.

She believes that would be irresponsible. This is a radical departure from the mind-numbingly conformist policies of the rest. When quizzed on why the other candidates were all so similar she opined that it was because they didn’t have a single original idea between them.

@honi_soit

QUIZ RESULT: 52% PASS Slogan: STOP THE CUTS

Slogan: Tracy Is Running For Union Board

Buzzwords: Balaclavas, Boltcutters, Bombs

Buzzwords: Experienced, Loving, Married

CV:

CV: • Mature Age Student Representative - Department of Media & Communications

• Tagged by CSIRO

ARTEMIS DREAMCATCHER

• Senior Administrative Assistant, Fairfax Group, 2000-2012 • Mother of two • School captain, Caringbah High School, 1977

• Founded community action group Fund For Children of Israeli-Palestinian Descent as a year eight high school project • Holds ‘Women’s Workout: Fitness in Confined Spaces’ at Villawood Detention Centre • Taught school-children guerrilla tactics in East Timor for a year

• Fourth place, Miss Sutherland Shire, 1978

• Detained and released once for living in his/her car parked outside Parliament House

• Reporter, Honi Soit, 2012

• Reporter, Honi Soit, 2012

Politics: Tracy is not a political person. In fact, she’s not really a person per se at all. She’s a fictional character made up by this year’s Honi editors for the purpose of satirising the cliches expressed by many mature age students at Sydney University.

Politics: Artemis made it clear that his/ her politics were “pretty fucking selfevident” and that (s)he was not here to pander to “corporate scum”. (S)he also stated belligerently, although we didn’t ask, that (s)he would refuse to make preference deals. Cf ‘Policy’.

Personality: Tracy’s personality could be described as bipolar. The first time she appeared in Honi Soit she was a fitness freak, set on preserving her looks as she moved into middle-age and enrolled at university in a failed attempt to hold onto her youth. Then changes in the Honi office took place.

Tracy got a new writer and became a neurotic media student baffled completely by the fast-paced, politically vibrant world around her, continuing this way until her decision to run for Union Board.

Personality: Throughout the interview Artemis appeared very calm, if calm can be described as suppressed angry delusion. To their credit, (s)he only slammed his/her fist into an open palm twice during the interview.

Policy: The last time we met Tracy, she was running to represent mature age students on the Union Board.

Readers were waiting to see how she would balance this goal with that of her prime backers, the Greens on Campus. Little did readers know that the editors would get all Community on their ass, throwing them a metafictive curveball, Abed style. Lets just say that we like to keep you guessing.

Policy: We drilled Artemis on his/her main policy: ‘Abolish the Union’. As expected, (s)he rambled about the corporatisation of the Union but we only caught words like “crush” and “kill”.

What we didn’t expect was for Artemis to bring along a map of the Holme Building with all emergency and fire escapes marked. We thought it was clever to address the financial insolvency of making the Union not-for-profit with his/her other policy of sacking Spence and redirecting his paycheck.

It was difficult to prevent Artemis from bringing up ‘Stop the Cuts’ but we put it down to a hangover from his/her time with the Socialist Green Anti-Cuts Alternative Collective. We also appreciated Artemis’ honesty for proposing a Room for Transgender Womyn-Identifying Engineers - “they really just need their own bathrooms”.

The Sandstone Report

SARA WORTHINGTON AKA ‘STRICTLY SARA’

JOHN LEIGH

AKA ‘SRC ANTI-PRESIDENT’

QUIZ RESULT: 50% PASS

QUIZ RESULT: 30% FAIL

Slogan: Hottie not a Trottie

Slogan: Vote Leigh - From The Purest Bloodline In Sydney

Buzzwords: Rich, White, Single CV: • Year 12 Formal Commitee Member, Ascham, 2011

Buzzwords: Rugged, Masculine, Defiant CV:

• Life member, Kit and Kaboodle Supper Club

• Sergeant - Army Cadet Corp, 200912

• Quarter-Finalist, Bond University Mooting Competition

• President, Young Liberals, 2012

• Semi-Scholarship Recipient, Bond University • SULS Newsletter Subscriber 2006present • Pedestrian TV Bachelorette of the Year Nominee • Formal Date, Blue and White 2007-present

• President, Economics Society, 201112 • Secretary, St Pauls College Students Club • Contributor, The Australian, 201012 • Contributor, SMH Letters Page 2010-12

JEREMIAH SMITH

QUIZ RESULT: 20% FAIL Slogan: The Lord Lives On Campus!

Buzzwords: Father, Son, Holy Spirit

Slogan: Get Some Dong Up Ya!

CV:

Buzzwords: Rumbos, Rawson, Rootin

• Vice-President, Evangelical Union, 2011

CV:

• Chosen One (Founder and President – Eds.), Christians on Campus, 2011 - present

• General PCL

• Brother in Christ, Hillsong Church, second birth - present • Youngest guest pastor, Hillsong Church, 2001 • Worship leader, Switchfoot Fan Club, 1998 - present • Camp counselor, Straight for God Conversion Camp, 2008 - present • Bible study leader, Kellyville Community Church, 2006 - present

• Daughter of Arthur Robertson

• Reporter, Honi Soit, 2012

• Reporter, Honi Soit, 2012

• Reporter, Honi Soit, 2012

Politics: John is a hard-right conservative. He is sickened by Affirmative Action and would like to increase the cost of Union membership should he be elected. He told us that his goal was to eventually destroy the union, but said he might not be able to achieve this until the second year of his term.

Politics: Jeremiah Smith is this year’s Christian candidate. The former Vice-President of the Evangelical Union – the traditional support base for Christian candidates – Jeremiah defected from the society last year to set up his decidedly more fundamentalist group ‘Christians on Campus’.

When quizzed on the reasoning behind the move, Jeremiah explained that in his opinion the EU had become too accepting of “pagan heresy” as evidenced by the series of debates that had been held with “terrorist hatemongers” (Sydney Univeristy Muslim Students Association – Eds.)

Personality: Sara came across as confident and well, pretty fucking hot.

Policy: When we quizzed Sara on her policy she proclaimed that she stood for ‘Habeus Corpus’. We deduced that Sara must be proposing a freelegal service for students who found themselves in trouble with the law.

Sara quickly corrected us saying we had “grossly misinterpreted the role of the union” and that if we were “at all interested in non-profit services we really should work for the SRC”. We politely told her that she was currently seated in the SRC offices. As it turns out, Sara’s policy was in fact entitled ‘Habeus Corporate’.

Personality: We would love to say what we really thought about John here, but we CoUldN’T. We found him impersonable, moderately insane and completely full of shit. He portrayed all the characteristics of an ignorant, over-privileged white boy who had never left the suburbs. God help us all should he get elected.

Policy: John’s main policy, as alluded to above, is destroying the Union.

While this is his long term goal, he also promises to wreak havoc upon the environment and to further marginalise minority groups on campus.

In fact, he appears to only be interested in the protection of residential or ‘college’ students.

AKA ‘DONGER’

QUIZ RESULT: 2% FAIL

• SRC Presidential Candidate, 2011

Politics: Sara was cagey about her personal politics, stating proudly that “it’s totally not relevant”. Unshaken, we pursued her position on a number of key issues including Affirmative Action, Universal Access and MixedThread Count Sheets. Each was met with Sara raising from her seat, arms flung high above her head and exasperating “I object”. Sara later admitted this tactic was one she was practicing for her appearance in the up-coming first year Mooting competition.

DAMIAN THOMSON

Personality: Jeremiah came across as expected: a Bible-bashing evangelist.

His insistence that we refer to him as ‘the Chosen One’ not only came across as narcissistic but downright blasphemous.

Policy: Jeremiah’s policy hinges on the controversial promise that he will abolish the entire Faculty of Science.

“Those witch-doctors have been undermining the good Lord for too long with their evidence-based reasoning and baby murdering”, says Jeremiah.

He does not support fair trade and believes that the coffee tender should be given to Gloria Jeans in perpetuity so that “they can continue their fine work in Israel!”

facebook.com/honisoitsydney

• fResher Representative • Fucking top bloke • Joey’s first XI Rugby (halfback) • Joey’s first VIII Rowing (stroke) • Took four days to get back from Walkabout – fuckin got taken to Singapore, aye!

• Reporter, Honi Soit, 2012 Politics: ‘Donger,’ as he insisted on being called, confessed to no party political ties – except his repeated boasts of his position as ‘fRep’ in his college Students’ Club. His politics, revolving around “more piss, looser parties and more money for colleges” were decidedly conservative, emphasised by his aversion to the possibility of a female senior student in his Students’ Club.

He is openly backed by residential colleges; when questioned on his support, Donger replied “Oi yeah nah, we don’t want no muggles on Union, aye!”

Personality: Donger presented as misogynistic and elitist, although it was unclear from where this elitism stemmed. Presented was the right word - unprovoked, he showed us just exactly the origin of his slogan, and nickname.

Policy: Donger seemed to think the USU exists merely as a money-funnel to college coffers. Donger spoke about how important C&S is – although the only club he could name was SUBSKI. He thought O-Week was an important student experience, whilst not having attended himself. “Nah bro I was too busy cutting piss and putting chicks away at the Wesley Toga party!” he said. Defining the relationship between college and Uni O-Weeks, he said “oi nah… they’re different things. See, us kids at col don’t want to hang out with youse cunts, we’re coming to live somewhere.”

He did not seem to think College OWeek could be moved forward a week to accommodate both.

honi soit

27

Students’ Representative Council The University of Sydney

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