3 minute read
WELLNESS The Liberated Woman
The liberated woman
A story of self-care that goes beyond the surface
BY YETTA YOUNG
I was moved to tears… My friend Denise had just shared her testimony and some hard, authentic, vulnerable truths about herself as a mother and where she needed to improve – all in front of a circle of 50 women at the Women on the Grow Retreat. I could relate to her story and couldn’t stop weeping. Although I was trying to cry ‘silently’, my entire body was in a state of convulsions. Women started passing the tissue boxes down my way as my friend consoled me. She asked, “Do you want to go up and share your testimony?” I shook my head no and through the tears, silently mouthed, “I’m scared.”
That retreat was a huge part of my self-care. Our stories connected as Denise and I had both had strokes in our 40’s. It was during my eight-day hospitalization at 47 that I wrote off self-care as I knew it. My recovery depended on me disrupting the narrative that self-care was just pampering, pedicures and prosecco. I needed a radical plan that would liberate me from my own self-imposed limitations. The kind of self-care that would take me into the shadows of my deepest fears. The kind that would be a refuge and would bring me back to myself, renewed, restored and healed.
I also began exploring ‘community care’ as the backdrop of my plan and how the two complimented each other. I became more active in Jewel Diamond Taylor’s Women on the Grow group, which she curated as a holistic incubator for women to reflect, renew and rejuvenate.
As I approached the middle of the circle, weeping, I could barely speak. My friend kept her promise and stood behind me, like the ladies do in church to catch you if you fall. Through barely inaudible words, I shared with them about not taking up space and how I was still learning to trust myself. Denise had my back and I could feel Jewel, off to the side, holding me up spiritually – like they had done on other occasions.
I“I’m newly in love and I want to be 100% authentic with him. When do I tell him that because of my medication, I’ve lost all of my hair?” I asked the ladies rhetorically. At that moment, I unconsciously reenacted a conversation I had had with him one morning when he video called me and God had told me that NOW was the time to share. At that moment, I removed my wig in front of the 50+ ladies. EVERY lady in that room was moved to their feet. They closed ranks around me and the circle got smaller, while others waited in line to hug and love on me. As I heard the African drums come through the speakers, Jewel shouted, “LIBERATION!” and started to dance. I danced a little as the ladies waited in line to affirm me: “You are beautiful.” “Honey, you should be on the cover of Vogue!” “You freed me today, Yetta” as she took off her scarf to reveal her shiny beautiful head, bald from chemotherapy. “I’m not ready to date because I’m afraid to show anyone my alopecia, but I thank you for giving me the courage, should I change my mind.” And of course, many asked, “Well, what did he say when you showed him your hair?” They danced around me, hugged and affirmed me until my tears dried. Although I haven’t quite found the courage to unveil publicly like I did with my sister cohorts, what I discovered that day was a healing balm that was so very needed for my soul. Self-care is a beautiful act of loving you back to you. It is not a selfish pursuit, but the very tool that can be used to liberate you. Z
– Veronica Very
Dr. Yetta Young is a producer, director and playwright and she creates sacred spaces for women to connect and heal. She attends 1-2 retreats per year for restoration, renewal and fun.She is a self-care advocate and Chief Scent Curator of Incense, Love & Meditation, premium self-care products, curated as a therapeutic ritual for creatives, healers and those seeking to vibrate higher. IG: @IncenseLoveMeditation FB: Yetta Young
