Luto Luto Din Pag May Time

Luto Luto manger manger

din le temps pag si vous alez

may time

Contemporary Filipino recipes for the Filipino Canadian

Also available:

GALAW GALAW din pag

may time

dĂŠplacer dĂŠplacer si vous avez le temps Filipino fat-burning activities for the fattening Filipino Canadian

Luto Luto

din le temps pag manger manger

si vous alez

may time

Contemporary Filipino recipes for the Filipino Canadian

For Kehrl

Unang Putahe

Lettuce Wraps a la

Kehrl ingredients

Boston Lettuce 700 g Ground meat of choice ~10 tbsp Hoisin sauce 150 g Crushed peanuts Garlic Onions Celery Carrots (shredded) Salt and Pepper Parsley

directions Hi Kehrl!!! Happy Birthday!!! Above is the recipe of a dish I made for my roommates here. Super easy to make. Just stir fry the ingredients (except the Boston lettuce) in a wok. Then serve with peeled cool Boston lettuce. The idea is for the diners to wrap the meat with the lettuce themselves! :D Hope this recipe makes for a good merienda there in icy Alberta! This will go great with beer too! Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday again! :D

1

Pangalawang Putahe

power

Puffs ingredients

Brown Sugar Spice and Everything Nice

directions Add in scoops of brown sugar, KFC’s secret herbs and spices, and a dash of everything nice! Warning: This is a very healthy concoction. It may win you awards. A trophy might even grow from you hand!

Happy birthday, Kehrlyyyy! You may not have Chemical X but you have Vitamin K as in Kehrl and kyut! See you soon!

P.S. Make sure the sugar is brown!

3

Gayuma ni Kehrl

Gayuma para sa babaeng mapangahas, ngunit may takot sa Diyos

Pangatlong Putahe

Cinnamon- Vanilla

Gayuma Mix

(may be added to any drink or food to let the person fall in love with you)

ingredients

2 drops of your tears 5 ml of your saliva 3 strands of hair from different parts of your body butter vanilla extract cinnamon

directions Cut hair into very fine, almost powdery parts. Set aside. Melt butter in a pan. Bring to a boil. Add saliva and tears. Add hair. Turn off your fire. Mix vigorously and add vanilla extract and cinnamon to taste. Add three to any drink or food your crush will consume.

NOTE: Good for only 24 hours

5

Ikaapat na Putahe

niyurakang

Kabute ingredients

1 kabute, preferrably from a wet brown pilapil 2 tbsp. katas ng Silver Swan 5 mg ipot ng maya 3 cow testicles 20 mg of Star Margarine

directions Put the kabute inside a plastic bag. Make sure it is the yellow SM Supermarket plastic bag. Add two tablespoons of katas ng silver swan.

No, not the toyo Silver Swan; a real silver swan! Stir using your hands.

Once the kabute becomes soggy from the katas, sprinkle ipot ng maya. The ipot should be pulverized. The kabute should now look like a wet espasol. Set it aside. Get the 3 testicles and put them in a bowl.

Mash with both your hands until it turns into something like ground pork. Add the ground testicles to the kabute. Heat the whole thing in a microwave set at high for 30 sec. Add Star Margarine for health.

Happy birthday, Kehrl! Yurak!

7

Panlimang Putahe

Black and Tan ingredients

1 bottle Guinness Draught 1 bottle Harp Lager Friends and family to drink with (Us when you get back!)

directions Pour the pale ale, or the Harp Lager into pint glass and fill half way.

Float the Guinness on top to fill the glass by slowly pouring it over the back of a teaspoon. Place the spoon down in the glass just above the lager (it may help to bend the spoon so it fits down in the glass). As your pour the Guinness, slowly raise the spoon until the glass is full.

Tada! Your beer has now two distinct layers! Hehehe happy birthday Kehrl! I’m sure you’re going to have a drink on your day so why not try more drinks (I’m checking out beer cocktails) Pagbalik mo, chef and bartender ka na! Have a great day and see you soon!!!

9

Hey Kehrl!

We’re all looking forward to your homecoming! Keep it cool and keep it thin. When you get here, all we’ll be doing is drinking and talking about how everyone got fatter!

Happy birthday! Enjoy your day and enjoy the rest of your life!

Waiting, Thursday Club

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®2013 HarperCollins Publishers Ltd. P.O. Box 1283, Upper East Side LA Rizal, Philippines This article is banned in Canada.

Mere possession is punishable by prison term in accordance with Canadian Law. Cet article est interdite au Canada.

La simple possession est passible de peine de prison conformément à la Loi canadienne.

about this book Luto Luto Din Pag May Time is a New York Times Bestseller whose existence is unbeknownst to all. The authors of this book are individuals of different cultural backgrounds who came up with several other literary works including Tweet tweet Din ng Spanish Pag May Time, Benta Benta Din Pag May Time, Gupit Gupit Din ng Hair Pag May Time, Aral Aral Din Kahit Wala ng Time and Urban Planning Planning Din Pag May Time. Luto Luto is the first of many books tailor-made for a specific Filipino Canadian market. Soon to be available in Edmonton is the sequel Galaw Galaw Din Pag May Time.

HarperCollins Publishers Ltd. www.harpercollins.com US$ 0.50 CAN$ 0.44 Not for distribution in Africa. They don’t have ingredients.