2. Preparing Families

1.4 Typically, how do adoptees feel about family reunions?

In general, adoptees have mixed feelings about family reunions. They are excited about meeting their birth family, but are also nervous about coming face to face with a life they do not know. For most transnational adoptees, family reunions are the first time they visit their country of origin. Many do not speak the same language as their birth family, which can make family reunions a daunting experience. The socioeconomic background, political views, and religious beliefs of adoptees may also differ greatly from those of their biological family, which can cause anxiety to both parties. Pro-Búsqueda has found that talking about feelings and emotions helps the adoptee greatly.

1.5 Does the organization help transnational adoptees with travel and accommodation?

Pro-Búsqueda provides transnational adoptees with information about El Salvador and travel to the country. It does not finance the transnational adoptee's plane fare or accommodation. The resources provided include a list of places to stay, recommended restaurants, safety tips, transportation options, and sightseeing suggestions, among others.

2. Preparing Families

2.1 What support is provided to best prepare biological families for a family reunion?

Pro-Búsqueda has an in-person conversation with the family members who will be meeting the adoptee. A staff member discusses the experiences of other family reunions—both the positive aspects as well as the negative ones so that everyone has a sense of what a family reunion is like. As with adoptees, the Psychosocial Unit explains how the day of the reunion will unfold (i.e., time of arrival, duration of reunion, who is accompanying the adoptee) and if it is a transnational adoptee, they have a conversation about potential language and cultural differences with the family.

It is also crucial to ask the family how they feel and share with them the most common questions adoptees ask (see section 1.2 above). It is important for the family to be prepared to answer difficult questions. Remind the family that every reunion is unique and, therefore, they need to be prepared for whatever comes. For example, family members need to be prepared that the adoptee may not want to hug them or call them by their nicknames (Uncle Tom, Mom, Grandpa, etc.). It is crucial to discuss family expectations and, if needed, to lower them.

As mentioned above, since economic disparities often exist between transnational adoptees and biological families in El Salvador, Pro-Búsqueda addresses this issue at length with the biological family. Staff counsels the birth family to recognize the pressure the transnational adoptee may feel and reminds them that the adoptee is coming to meet them, to find out about the family, and to form a relationship. It is emphasized that the visit may not necessarily result in access to greater resources or financial support and that if the family chooses to raise these issues it could jeopardize the future relationship with the adoptee.

Pictured Above: José Eduardo Giai Checco reunited with his biological brother Raymundo Ruiz Chacón in El Salvador.

Pro-Búsqueda also talks with the family about the best way to explain to the adoptee the basis for the adoptee's separation from the family. This is particularly important because almost all adoptees want to know the circumstances of the separation. Because some were separated under very violent circumstances, sometimes involving the slaying of other family members, the reason needs to be explained tactfully. In addition, recalling and retelling these events may cause family members to re-experience the trauma brought on by the war.

2.2 What are the questions birth families most frequently ask about the adoptee and the family reunion?

How long is the adoptee staying for? Who is the adoptee coming with (i.e., adoptive parents, adoptee ’ s own family, friends, etc.)?

comfortable with the family reunion?

2.3 What information concerning the adoptee is provided to the birth family before a family reunion?

As mentioned earlier, before meeting the adoptee at least one family member has communicated with the adoptee already. In these communications, the biological family asks questions about the how and where the adoptee lives, what he/she looks like, and what they like to do. Since the adoptee is the person leading the reunification process, the information provided to the birth family prior to a family reunion depends on what the adoptee feels comfortable sharing.

2.4 Typically, how does the biological family feel about the family reunion?

Birth families feel anxious about meeting the adoptee. From the moment the disappeared person is located, families are impatient to meet the adoptee. They want the family reunion to take place as soon as possible, sometimes forgetting that the adoptee might not feel the same way. Families are eager to reconnect with the adoptee, whom they knew as a young child and who is now an adult. While families are quite eager to meet the disappeared relative, the meeting may be tinged with great sadness and guilt on the part of family members, especially family members who, for years now, have felt responsible for the child's disappearance.

2.5 Does the organization help biological families cover expenses?

In general, a family reunion is a time of celebration for the biological family and they may want to host a party or an elaborate meal to mark this celebration. On occasion, Pro-Búsqueda will help the family to defray costs and may offer the organization's office as a venue to host the event if the family home is not an appropriate venue (i.e. too small, or located in an unsafe area). Other than this, Pro-Búsqueda does not offer any financial support to birth families (or to any other party).

What will the adoptee ask us? Is the adoptee angry at us? What will the adoptee think of us? How are the adoptee ’ s adoptive parents? Are they

Pictured Above: Carolina Cárcamo de Rivas reunited with her biological mother Josefina Osorio Henríquez in El Salvador.