HR’s wellbeing stories

Human Resources shares personal stories and experiences of HR professionals managing their own mental health in the workplace. For privacy and out of respect for those who have contributed, names have been removed.

HR has a unique relationship with mental health in workplaces. Not only are we normally the first or second port of call for employees and leaders alike who are struggling with their own mental health and wellbeing, we are also the ones responsible for supporting processes where the effects of a lack of mental wellness can show up.

As HR practitioners, we rely on many of our own skills to support other people: empathy, compassion, logic, reason. Some are lucky enough to receive formal or informal training around supporting mental wellbeing in themselves and others, but many haven’t.

Other professions responsible for supporting others and managing conflict on an ongoing basis have professional supervision built into the foundations of their support infrastructure. Roles that deal with serious complaints or incidents (social workers, police officers, health professionals) all always have the provision for some kind of regular and easy-to-access supervision available to them; sometimes compulsory to their roles.

HR professionals can’t walk away from the difficult aspects of their roles; it’s inherent in supporting people and processes within an organisation or business. What is vital is understanding boundaries and limitations, how to keep ourselves safe so we can support our stakeholders in the best possible way, and how to talk openly as an HR team to support each other’s – and our own – wellbeing.

We asked several HR professionals working in different roles and industries in New Zealand about their own mental health journeys; how they support their wellbeing, and what their top tips are for other HR professionals when it comes to looking after themselves, so they can continue to support others.

What was your experience of your own mental health journey working through the pandemic for the past twoplus years?

“I’m always pretty aware of my mental health. I was 15 when I was first diagnosed with depression and was mentally well for many years following this, but being diagnosed at such a young age taught me some excellent lessons that I have been able to use through my career and through the pandemic. It taught me to put my health first, to take ongoing steps to manage it, and it also gave me an understanding and empathy for others. During the pandemic, I needed to take active steps to manage my mental health, as isolation and not being out and about can have a big impact on my wellbeing.”

“The past few years have been a real roller-coaster with a mix of highs and lows. When you’re working on organisational change, through lockdowns, thinking about other individuals’ wellbeing, it’s easy to forget about your own wellbeing. Personally, I’ve been dealing with anxiety and stress, which has been really challenging.”

“The pandemic kicked off just as I returned to the UK and was working in the NHS. Initially, things were hectic, and the overwhelming sense of never being enough really hit me hard. Having experience of PTSD, I was quickly able to recognise the impact on others – but not so much on myself – I didn’t take any leave for almost a year and was running on such a high mode that I wasn’t realising how exhausted I was until I stopped and hit a wall and ended up spending a four-day holiday asleep.”

“In terms of my mental health, I’ve come out significantly stronger. For me, the pandemic was a wakeup call that in my line of work boundaries are vital, and it’s okay not to be everything to everyone all of the time (things I tell others all the time!). I feel like I’ve really grown in the last three years, and the experiences of isolation, loneliness, fear, distance and reflection have helped me understand what I really need.”

How did you support your own wellbeing?

“During COVID, I put in a strong routine (usually not my forté). My routine involved “pretending” I was walking to work, same time every day, daily events (Taco Tuesday), trying my best to connect in with others as I am a strong extrovert, moderating how much news and social media I consumed, letting others know at work how I was going and how much I could realistically achieve (working from home with four kids). I managed okay for the first lockdown but found the second lockdown much more difficult, and made sure I reached out for more support during that.”

“I had a really busy period at work where all I was doing was working, eating and sleeping. I spoke to a few people and started slow – it’s all the things you know you should be doing that you end up neglecting (getting outside, getting enough asleep, taking a walk). Trying to rebuild habits can be difficult but I’ve found when I take a walk, spend time with my friends, get a good sleep, I’m in a much better space mentally. I’m also lucky to have a great group of friends and people that I can talk to about it. I’ve found that being honest with friends and family about where I’m at mentally has taken the pressure off.”

“Running. Literally running away from problems. Running is great because I have to forget everything and just focus on breathing. There’s also something quite rhythmic and meditative, especially in the rain. Journalling – I’ve NEVER been into this and always been a ‘there’s no way I’m writing my feelings down‘, but there’s something about just

splurging it all on one A5 page. I love having everything out of my head – some days it’s some bullets others it’s a sentence. I never look back at what I’ve written though!! Reading – the pandemic meant I had a lot of indoor evenings back in the UK, so I’ve rediscovered my love of reading (although never a wellbeing book – always a crime classic first).”

What does your organisation do well in the mental health awareness space?

“We take mental health seriously when dealing with employee issues. In one particular case, I had a meeting with someone who was currently not able to work effectively and it had led to an incident. When we met, they spoke about their mental health and were visibly ‘down’. They asked for some change, less responsibility and in a followup meeting a few weeks later, they seemed a different person. They spoke on how the incident had been a catalyst to start treating their mental health more seriously and were feeling really positive. Because of the space we’d created for them to talk about this issue, they were able to make positive change and positively impact others through role modelling some really great behaviours, which was a huge turn-around from where we had been. In this instance, it took an incident for the employee to notice their health needed treatment, and we were able to support this, but I’d love if we were able to provide support before it got to the stage where it was needed.”

“We surveyed our staff, and the top two areas they wanted us to focus on were mental wellbeing and physical wellbeing. We’ve run sessions on building resilience and mental health training for leaders, on the physical side we have a staff activity fund where we contribute towards sports teams, we have staff who lead lunchtime walks and runs.”

“Last year, we had a wellbeing break, and that was received positively, we are doing this again this year. We are lucky to have a few mental health experts in our team that are always available to have chat with staff who need support. We also looked at how we can break the stigma around counselling and therapy and brought our EAP provider in to speak at a staff meeting which was well received.”

What are your top tips for other HR professionals?

“If you are struggling, don’t keep it all to yourself – talk to your manager, family and friends.”

“Build your boundaries – life is hard, we can’t always be a superhero. Learn where your boundaries are and stick with them – it’s not easy but if you want to prevent the one-way ticket to burnout, I suggest you make it this year’s professional goal.”

“COVID-19 has changed how we work, and sometimes it feels like we are ‘always on’, it’s important to set some real boundaries with work (ie, the email can probably wait until tomorrow and if you’re on annual leave for one day don’t look at your emails). I also recently turned off all email and social media notifications off my phone, which has been life-changing!”

“Get help – therapy is the single best thing I ever did. It was uncomfortable, I was self-conscious and awkward but I don’t regret a single moment.”

“Being aware of your own wellbeing (and limitations) can help you and help others. In terms of HR, my depression and awareness of my own mental health has made me a better employee and a better HR professional. Now if I am not happy in my work or feel overwhelmed, I always speak up. I am proactive and constructive, genuine and honest. I recognise that my role enables me to directly influence and by doing this I hope it leads to others being empowered or comfortable to speak up also. I often talk to people about my mental health. I want others to feel safe to share with me if they want and ones that have excellent mental health to see people who can look bubbly and happy on the outside – can still suffer.”

“Find your ‘Rat Park’ – it’s a phrase from an Australian series called the Let Down (on Netflix) – essentially it means find what you love and do it – dance in the dark, swim, run.”

Self-care for HR professionals

HR professionals are known for focusing on how your organisation’s staff are performing, but are you taking time to look after yourself?

Here are wellbeing consultant Lauren Parsons’ six quick tips to help you thrive.

1. Have a daily nonnegotiable

Make an appointment in your calendar (and set an alarm on your phone) to get out for that 15-minute walk, sit and eat lunch in a relaxed setting, or read your book for 10 minutes with your favourite cuppa.

Small breaks in the day help your biochemistry reset and switch you out of fight-or-flight mode that demands and deadlines can trigger.

2. Avoid time confetti

Block chunks of focused time to work on critical projects to avoid days filled with time confetti (where you shred useful blocks of time into tiny pieces). Switch off all alerts and remove visual distractions. Set a countdown timer and get in flow on that project so you can knock it out of the park.

When you’re done, ‘snack on exercise’ or have a dance party.

Movement boosts your mood and energy, ready for the next block of focused work.

3. Celebrate the small stuff

Sign off the day by sharing your wins with a colleague (or your notebook.) Reflect on the day’s highlights. This doubles your happiness factor because your brain doesn’t distinguish between these great things happening and you reliving them.

4. Set clear boundaries Have personal policies like:

• I only attend meetings with a clear purpose and agenda

• 6pm to 8.30pm is family time

• I get outdoors for a walk every day

• I don’t check emails before 8am, after 6pm or on the weekend.

Get good at clearly and respectfully communicating your boundaries (rather than longwinded excuses.) As Tony Gaskin says, “You teach people how to treat you by what you allow, what you stop, and what you reinforce.”

5. Dial the right things up and down

Sick of listening to negative news on repeat, doom scrolling or watching people’s highlight reels on social media? Take practical steps to limit the negatives. Choose one reliable source of news and tune in just once a day, once a week, or whatever frequency suits you. Remove social media from your phone and access it only via your laptop.

On the flipside, ring-fence time for uplifting content such as inspiring TED talks, podcasts, articles and magazines (like this!)

6. Switch on your internal motivation

Want to nail that fitness habit?

Rather than picturing yourself out there pounding the pavement, your lungs aching, muscles burning, instead, picture yourself running back up the driveway feeling proud, elated and energised.

You need to ‘picture the satisfied feeling of completion’ to switch on your motivation to get started. This works for anything you’re putting off. Imagine the joy of working at that decluttered desk, holding the published book in your hands or getting those tax records sent off.

Lauren Parsons is a awardwinning wellbeing specialist who helps leaders boost staff wellbeing and productivity. Get your complimentary copy of Lauren’s e-book 5 Keys to a Positive, Energised, High- Performance Culture at www.LaurenParsons Wellbeing.com.