Hugo Bragheto

How to Sing the Blues (Not Really) 1. Most blues begin with “woke up this mornin.” 2. “I got a good woman” is a bad way to begin the blues unless you stick something nasty in the next line: “I got a good woman, with the meanest dog in town...” 3. Blues are simple. After you’ve got the first line, repeat it. Then find something that sort of rhymes: Got a good woman with the meanest dog in town, Got a good woman with the meanest dog in town, He gots teeth like Mick Jagger And he weigh 500 pounds. 4. The blues aren’t about limitless choice. 5. Blues cars are Chevys and Cadillacs. Other acceptable blues trans- portation: a Greyhound bus or a southbound train. Not acceptable: BMW, hot air balloons, an R.V. 6. Walkin’ always plays a major part in the blues, as does fixin’ to die. 7. The best places to get the blues are Chicago, St. Louis, and Kansas City. 8. The following colors don’t belong in the blues: beige, mauve, violet, periwinkle. 9. You can’t have the blues in an office or mall. Th