Just4Girls/Just4Guys 2024-2025 by Human Life Alliance

Just4Girls

It’s Up to You

It’s difficult to be a girl in the 2020s... You’re living in two demanding worlds: the real world and the online world. The pressure can build quickly between dealing with school, activities, sports, and even your home life. Never mind the complexity of relationships―both friendships and romantic ones. Or being influenced or bullied by online forces. Beneath that pressure, you have dreams and hopes for your future. You’re on a journey to become a strong, independent woman willing to work for a meaningful life. Inside this magazine, you’ll find facts and tools to empower you to make good choices. For example, have you ever heard of the Success Sequence? Probably not. According to the Brookings Institute, people who do these three things: 1. Get a high school diploma 2. Maintain a full-time job 3. Wait until marriage to have kids Have a 97% chance of living free from poverty.1 From understanding the importance of choosing who you surround yourself with to how you think about yourself and your body, if you should send a nude, or deciding when to start having sex, these choices can change your life. Your journey to a successful, fulfilled, and purposeful life begins with committing to learn how to choose the right things. Sometimes you might fail, or maybe you already have, but every day you get the opportunity for a new beginning.

You get to decide. Life is what you make of it. Live with purpose.

Table of Contents: Aaliyah’s Story Dear Livvy

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Do You Know?

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Forever Might Not Be Forever 5 Five Steps

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Body Image

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What’s Going On? .........7 Women & Porn Saving Sex

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I started high school...

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as a confident, kind, and fun girl. I had my crew and the four of us conquered freshman year together. I felt secure in who I was—but my friends did not. They wanted popularity and started making decisions I didn’t agree with. I stood my ground and told them I wasn’t willing to do certain things to seem cool. My friendships with them began to feel like a roller coaster. I never knew if they liked me or wanted me out of their sight. Sometimes they’d want to talk with me and other times I was given the silent treatment. Mostly, they pointed out how to “fix me” and how I was “such a drag” to them. It shattered my confidence. I couldn’t imagine losing my only high school friends. I began being willing to do or say anything to remain friends with them. I had a choice to put up with them or choose to be alone. Loneliness in high school was my ultimate fear. Shortly after, my friends asked to meet with me and told me that, behind my back, they had agreed to “throw me out” of our friend group. All of a sudden, I was given a new set of rules. No longer could I speak with them, sit with them at lunch, or hang out with them outside of school. I felt betrayed. It worsened when they began to bully me, spread rumors, and even turn classmates and teachers against me. My worst nightmare had happened—I was all alone and people were believing all sorts of lies about me. What could be worse? I felt the urge to lose myself in relationships with boys and superficial things to mask the pain. I wanted to show everyone they couldn’t get the best of me. I was desperate to be accepted because I had been hurt. Thankfully, I realized that if I chose to hook up with boys because of the pain I was in, the effect of those decisions would last far beyond high school. They’d be reminders I’d carry with me all my life from this broken time. With this perspective, I felt the courage to persevere through this tough time. I didn’t want it to ruin the life I was just beginning! Instead of losing myself in things that would bring me further down, I channeled the pain and loneliness into an opportunity for something new. I courageously made new friends and found genuine and supportive people that allowed me to be myself. I dove into hobbies I always loved: photography and cooking. I even turned my photography into a business. I became grateful I was no longer with my old friends. I learned that friends who tear you down aren’t real friends. The loneliness I was terrified of wasn’t as scary as I thought. To my surprise, it opened unexpected doors. I also learned how resilient, brave, and strong I was through that experience and it made me a more confident woman.

—Aaliyah

Live With Purpose 1 Haskins, R. & Sawhill, I. (2009). Creating an Opportunity Society. Washington D.C.: The Brookings Institution and Wilcox, W. Brad. (2017). Millennial Success Sequence. https://www.aei.org/wpcontent/uploads/2017/06/IFS-MillennialSuccessSequence-Final.pdf

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Dear Livvy... Dear Livvy, I was asked by my boyfriend to send a nude. I feel pressured into sending it because he said that I would be a “prude” if I didn’t and that all our friends are doing it. –Pressured to Sext Dear Pressured to Sext, Let’s be clear, you’re not a prude if you say no. And you’re not alone. You may think all your peers are sexting, but did you know that only 15%1 of adolescents have ever sent a nude? This number has been steadily going down! Standing up to someone else’s demands on the other side of the screen shows you value and respect yourself. You are not just a body. You are a whole and complete person with unique talents and gifts. You have a sense of humor and a personality. A sexually explicit image of yourself treats your body like a disposable object and often women who send nudes regret it. Dear Livvy, A random guy contacted me through social media and started telling me how beautiful I am. I have no clue who he is. What do you think of this? What should I do? –Randomly Beautiful Dear Randomly Beautiful, This is a red flag, and you should not respond. Just delete his message and block him. It’s scary, but this could be an online predator trying to meet up with you to kidnap, assault, or sell you into trafficking. Predators convince young girls and even guys that their beauty will land them a modeling job, only to find themselves victims of prostitution, pornography, and slave labor. If he continues to contact you, tell your parents or a teacher. If he sends you a sexually explicit image, report him to the authorities. Have more questions for Livvy? Write to her at j4gmagazine.com

Dear Livvy, It seems like all the girls at school have a boyfriend besides me. I can’t help but feel a little jealous and well, to be honest, desperate. I can’t help it. I just really want a boyfriend! What should I do? –Really Want a Boyfriend Dear Really Want a Boyfriend, I understand where you’re coming from. It’s natural to want to be chosen—you are not alone. But it’s also not really the case that everyone has a boyfriend! As you wait, I have a couple of ideas. Concentrate on developing into the kind of woman you want to be. Spend time on the things you enjoy. Develop solid friendships. This is the best thing you can do at this time. Friendships are important to have at every stage of life! It can be easy to find a boyfriend and become infatuated to the point where your identity is wrapped up with them, causing breakups to leave you feeling like you’ve lost yourself.

Do You Know the Facts?

1. What percentage of sexually active young women have had a genital Human Papillomavirus (HPV)?1 a. 30%

b. 15%

a. 1 out of 4

b. 2 out of 3

c. 80%

d. 70%

c. 1 out of 3

d. 1 out of 2

3. True or False: You can get an STI if you have oral sex.3

5. According to the most recent CDC data, at least 43 million people nationwide were infected with HPV in 2018.5 More than ___% of cases of cervical cancer are linked to HPV.6 a. 30%

b. 63%

c. 91%

d. 99% Answers: 1. C, 2. True, 3. True, 4. D, 5. D

2. True or False: The younger a person is when they start having sex, the greater the chance of getting an STI.2

4. ___ out of ___ teens who have had sex wish they had waited.4

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Forever Might Not Be Forever My boyfriend and I had been dating for over a year. We were both in college. We hadn’t talked about marriage, but I assumed we would always be together. Then I learned I was pregnant. John told his parents about the pregnancy. They said he was too young, that he should leave me and “just forget it happened.” John even told me he had been thinking about breaking up with me anyway. I was absolutely devastated. I asked him if he could at least be there when our daughter was born, but he decided to travel to England to study and I was left alone. I called John when my daughter was born, but he denied she was his and demanded a blood test. I never expected someone who said they loved me to leave me feeling so alone and abandoned.

—Kylie

I Think I’m Pregnant... Have you ever thought about what you might do if you experienced an unplanned pregnancy? Or how you might respond to a friend who is pregnant and worried? Here are some steps to help you or someone you know:

1. Take a breath, don’t panic. Panicking tends to take your mind to the worst possible outcomes of a

situation. Take a deep breath and confirm whether or not you’re pregnant. Stay calm and remember you don’t have to go through this alone.

2. Don’t judge yourself for your emotions. You’re going to feel a lot of emotions―let

it happen and don’t judge yourself for it. Talk through your feelings with a friend or counselor, or write it out. Bottling up your emotions won’t get you anywhere and will only add to your stress and anxiety.

3. Take care of yourself. Your body is doing a lot during pregnancy. Make sure you’re

getting rest, proper nutrition, and plenty of water. Talk to a healthcare provider about proper prenatal care, and don’t be afraid to advocate for yourself.

Scan for more help.

4. Get a support system together and ask for help. Surround yourself with people who will support

you, and don’t hesitate to ask for help if you need it―whether it’s financial or emotional. You can ask your support network for help planning a baby shower, getting baby supplies, or even setting up a GoFundMe to buy supplies in the future.

Dear Livvy 1 Giordano, A. L., Schmit, M. K., Clement, K., Potts, E. E., & Graham, A. R. (2022). Pornography Use and Sexting Trends Among American Adolescents: Data to Inform School Counseling Programming and Practice. Professional School Counseling, 26(1). https://doi. org/10.1177/2156759X221137287 Do You Know the Facts? 1 “Human Papillomavirus.” Office on Women’s Health, 29 Dec. 2022, www.womenshealth.gov/a-z-topics/human-papillomavirus. | 2 Christine E. Kaestle, Carolyn T. Halpern, William C. Miller, Carol A. Ford, Young Age at First Sexual Intercourse and Sexually Transmitted Infections in Adolescents and Young Adults, American Journal of Epidemiology, Volume 161, Issue 8, 15 April 2005, Pages 774–780, https://doi.org/10.1093/aje/kwi095 | 3 “STD Facts - STD Risk and Oral Sex.” Center for Disease Control and Prevention, 31 Dec. 2021, www.cdc.gov/std/healthcomm/stdfact-stdriskandoralsex.htm. | 4 Barna Group. (2015). Teens Speak Out survey. Ventura: Author. Albert, B. (2012). With One Voice 2012. Washington, DC: the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy. Retrieved March 18, 2015, at https://thenationalcampaign.org/sites/default/files/resource-primarydownload/wov_2012.pdf This older survey shows that among younger teens, the regret is even more pronounced. | 5 “STD Facts - Human Papillomavirus (HPV).” Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 12 Apr. 2022, www.cdc.gov/std/hpv/stdfact-hpv.htm. | 6 Okunade KS. Human papillomavirus and cervical cancer. J Obstet Gynaecol. 2020 Jul;40(5):602-608. doi: 10.1080/01443615.2019.1634030. Epub 2019 Sep 10. Erratum in: J Obstet Gynaecol. 2020 May;40(4):590. PMID: 31500479.

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Body Image

Being able to think a multitude of thoughts at one time makes you a great multi-tasker and an over-thinker. Especially when it comes to self-image. Sometimes it can feel like you are your own worst enemy. Your mind goes through doubt after doubt about yourself in a matter of a minute.

Do these jeans make me look fat? Why don’t I have her waist? If only I had her style! I wish I had her hair...What will others think of me? All this overthinking is a vicious cycle of believing you must perfect yourself to have value. You look for things to fix like new clothes, the latest technology, or maybe just checking out and doom-scrolling. But you’ll still find those things will never remove insecurities and often make them worse. Becoming confident in your body starts with your mind. Nothing anyone says about you, your body, or your appearance can ever change your value. You always have the opportunity to redefine how you think and feel about yourself. If you constantly believe you aren’t enough, your imperfections will drive your thoughts, decisions, and mental energy. Struggling with body image is exhausting because it all happens in your mind! You are your own worst critic when it comes to your body and now is the time to start re-framing how you think about yourself.

Here are some tips:

Appreciate what your body can do. Write positive thoughts down to •serve as a reminder to you when you feel like you aren’t enough. What do you like about yourself that isn’t related to your weight or •physical looks? You are more than a body. Pay attention to things that might make you more critical of •your body. For example, are there certain magazines, TikTok or Instagram accounts that always leave you feeling bad about yourself? Unfollow them!

•

Talk about it! You aren’t alone in the struggle. Opening up can be a path to support and encouragement. Still, nagging or negative doubts and questions about yourself will come back from time to time. By choosing to re-frame how you think about yourself, you can throw those negative thoughts out as quickly as they come.

“Your body is part of who you are, but your body doesn’t define you. It was a life-changing moment for me when I recognized that. There’s so much more to me than how I look. It’s liberating to realize that what I see on Instagram doesn’t need to define who I am, what I should look like, or how I should act. Deep down, we all know that there’s no such thing as a perfect person or a perfect life. Defining yourself by who you are and what you do, rather than how you look, is a brave choice to defy the deception of perfections that society tells us to buy into. It can be scary at first, but the world needs to know that real, imperfect women exist. Let’s dare to break the rules. We don’t need to add a filter to hide or mask our imperfections. We need to be ourselves, telling our own stories and thinking our own thoughts. We don’t have to follow the crowd. We can choose to surround ourselves with people who encourage and uplift us. We are bold enough to reject deceit and believe we are beautiful.”

—Jada

Women & Porn

3. Pornography sets unrealistic body standards.

“I felt trapped and alone... People don’t see what it does in the heart and mind of those that it affects. They don’t see what it does inside the homes and relationships of those that it holds captive. They don’t see the lives that it ruins.”

Pornography use worsens body image and decreases self-esteem.11 What makes you truly beautiful and attractive is your intelligence, personality, and your natural body. The pornography industry treats women as sex objects, valuing them only for their bodies while setting completely unrealistic standards.

In the past, pornography and masturbation have been framed as male issues, leaving many women feeling isolated in the struggle against pornography. The reality is that 62.1% of women have seen pornography before the age of 18,1 and 17% struggle with it.2

4. Pornography normalizes objectification and sexual violence.

The pornography industry profits from abuse and exploitation,12 fuels sex trafficking,13 and portrays sexual violence as normal. A team of researchers found that 88% of the scenes in the most popular pornography films contained physical violence and 49% contained verbal attacks.14 No one should ever treat you like that, especially not in a vulnerable situation. Degrading women isn’t sexy and it certainly isn’t love.

Pornography is far from harmless. There is nothing normal or healthy about it. It alters the brain, normalizes sexual violence, and sets unrealistic expectations. Even so-called “ethical” pornography hurts the people who use it and often continues to exploit the people involved in producing it.3 A growing number of young people are saying no to pornography and there are a lot of good reasons to be part of that number:

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5. Your relationships are healthier without it.

Pornography use decreases relationship satisfaction15 and commitment to one’s partner,16 as well as dramatically increasing the likelihood of divorce.17 Your current and future relationships will be much healthier without pornography!

Your mind matters.

Pornography changes your brain. It’s addictive, decreases sensitivity to pleasure,4 and reduces frontal brain matter.5 It has also been found to decrease self-control6 and it’s harmful to the mental health of those who use it.7,8

Are you using porn to escape real life? “I ran to porn whenever I was lonely, yet it only breeds loneliness. It also became a crutch if I ever was bored, disappointed, or angry at myself.”

2. Your time is valuable.

47% of pornography users reported consuming for 30 minutes to three hours per day.9 In one year, that can add up to over a thousand hours. Unsurprisingly, 30% of users reported that their work performance suffered because of their pornography use.10

If you are struggling, seek real help from health professionals. Talk to your parents or friends. You might be surprised that they want to help you and be with you in whatever difficulty you’re going through.

What’s Going On? Have you ever wondered why you feel or think differently during your cycle? Take a look at these two hormone charts.

Female Hormone Levels

Progesterone

Menstruation 7

In women, FSH stimulates the growth of ovarian follicles in the ovary before the release of an egg at ovulation. It also signals the body to increase oestradiol production.2 Your reproductive hormones change your body’s internal chemistry, which can and will affect how you think and feel.

Estrogen FSH LH

Days of Menstruation Cycle

Guys

Girls

During your cycle, progesterone, estrogen, and luteinizing hormones (LH) all surge and fall, impacting your moods, appetite, and energy.1

In men, FSH acts on the Sertoli cells of the testes to stimulate sperm production (spermatogenesis).3 That’s it. Men are hormonally consistent daily and don’t experience a rollercoaster of twenty moods in an hour.

Women & Porn 1 Sabina, C., Wolak, J., Finkelhor, D. The nature and dynamics of internet pornography exposure for youth. (2008) Cyberpsychology and Behavior, 11 (6), pp. 691-693. | 2 Logue, Ph.D., Jeff. “Pornography Statistics: Who Uses Porn?” SAGU, 22 Oct. 2015, https://www.sagu.edu/ thoughthub/pornography-statistics-who-uses-pornography/. | 3 Fight the New Drug. “How Ethical Is ‘Ethical Porn,’ Really?” Fight the New Drug, fightthenewdrug.org/how-ethical-is-ethical-porn-really/. Accessed 12 Dec. 2023. | 4 Fight the New Drug. “Why Porn Can Be Difficult to Quit.” fightthenewdrug.org/why-porn-can-be-difficult-to-quit/. | 5 Kuhn, S., & Gallinat, J. (2014). Brain Structure and Functional Connectivity Associated With Pornography Consumption: The Brain on Porn. JAMA Psychiatry, 71(7), 827-834. doi:10.1001/jamapsychiatry.2014.93 | 6 Negash, S., Sheppard, N. V., Lambert, N. M., & Fincham, F. D. (2016). Trading Later Rewards for Current Pleasure: Pornography Consumption and Delay Discounting. Journal of sex research, 53(6), 689–700. https://doi.org/10.1080/00224499.2015.1025123 | 7 Harper, C., & Hodgins, D. C. (2016). Examining Correlates of Problematic Internet Pornography Use Among University Students. Journal of behavioral addictions, 5(2), 179–191. https://doi.org/10.1556/2006.5.2016.022 | 8 Koletić G. (2017). Longitudinal associations between the use of sexually explicit material and adolescents’ attitudes and behaviors: A narrative review of studies. Journal of adolescence, 57, 119–133. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.adolescence.2017.04.006 | 9 Katie Szittner, “Study exposes secret world of porn addiction,” Sydney.edu. May 10, 2012. http://sydney.edu.au/news/84.html?newsstoryid=9176 | 10 Ibid | 11 Ballard Brief, “Pornography Use in the United States” https://ballardbrief.byu.edu/issue-briefs/pornography-use-among-young-adults-in-the-united-states | 12 Fight the New Drug, “How Porn Can Fuel Sex Trafficking” https://fightthenewdrug.org/how-porn-can-fuel-sex-trafficking/ | 13 Ibid | 14 Bridges, Ana J et al. “Aggression and sexual behavior in best-selling pornography videos: a content analysis update.” Violence against women vol. 16,10 (2010): 1065-85. doi:10.1177/1077801210382866 | 15 Tylka, T. L., & Kroon Van Diest, A. M. (2015). You Looking at Her “Hot” Body May Not be “Cool” for Me: Integrating Male Partners’ Pornography Use into Objectification Theory for Women. Psychology of Women Quarterly, 39(1), 67–84. https://doi.org/10.1177/0361684314521784 | 16 Minarcik, J., Wetterneck, C. T., & Short, M. B. (2016). The Effects Of Sexually Explicit Material Use On Romantic Relationship Dynamics. Journal Of Behavioral Addictions, 5(4) 700-707. Doi: 10.1556/2006.5.2016.078 | 17 Ballard Brief, “Pornography Use in the United States” https://ballardbrief.byu.edu/issue-briefs/pornography-use-among-young-adults-in-the-unitedstates. What’s Going On? 1 “You and Your Hormones,” www.yourhormones.info/hormones/. url. Accessed 1 Feb. 2024. | 2 “Follicle Stimulating Hormone,” https://www.yourhormones.info/hormones/follicle-stimulating-hormone/. Accessed 1 February, 2024 | 3 Ibid.

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saving sex “As a teen, I played the third wheel because my sister had many boyfriends and I didn’t. I became depressed and wondered why guys didn’t like me. When I finally got a boyfriend, it became an abusive relationship. I ended it, but even with that freedom, I still didn’t know who I was and ended up with more exes. Then I met Caden. Even though our values didn’t match, he made me feel special. I thought Caden was ‘the one.’ I wanted to remain a virgin before marriage, but the only thing I remembered from sex-ed was ‘don’t have sex.’ I took that to mean anything but sex was fine. We kept getting physically closer until that one night we went all the way. I regretted it immediately. I couldn’t take it back, ever. I felt like avoiding sex no longer mattered so we kept sleeping together (in secret.) I felt like I was leading a double life. I kept ignoring the nagging problem of our mismatched values. He was perfect for me except for one thing―he didn’t understand my value of saving sex for marriage. Breaking up with Caden was the hardest thing I ever had to do, but it changed my life and made me the person I am today. I vowed not to be physical with someone again until I was 100% sure whom I would marry and that he would respect my sexual integrity.

Dating Do’s & Don’ts ▶ Stay with the group

If you don’t know the person well, it’s better to date in a public setting or to go on a double date with a couple you know. Be aware of the dangers of human trafficking. Don’t be tolerant of a guy who violates your personal boundaries. If he doesn’t respond when you tell him to stop, leave the situation.

In today’s society, the conversation about waiting to have sex can feel outdated or meaningless. Do people still do that? Who has enough willpower these days to actually hold themselves to that goal? But did you know that couples that wait to have sex have higher levels of satisfaction, contentment, and better sex?1 Relationships that quickly move toward sex, on the other hand, are often filled with problems.

Don’t accept beverages from people you don’t know and don’t drink out of anything you’ve left unattended. “Date rape drugs” can be slipped into your drink when you’re not paying attention or without you even realizing it.

There are countless ways to show someone that you love them, other than having sex. Waiting to have sex until you’re fully committed to one another, like getting married, is a beautiful expression of real love. It shows you’re willing to use selfcontrol, patience, and put real love into practice for someone. Not to mention, waiting to have sex is the number one way to find someone that truly loves you for all the right reasons.

If you sense something isn’t right, end the date or get out of the situation.

Maybe you’re reading this and you’ve already had sex with someone. That doesn’t mean you can’t start over now. Just because you’ve had sex in the past doesn’t mean you have to do it with the next person you date.

▶ Stand your ground

▶ Watch your beverage

▶ Trust your instincts

While I was single, I found a group of friends who shared my values. An honorable guy in the group, Tyler, later became my beloved husband. I was his first girlfriend―his first kiss! He understood that waiting was important so we waited to have sex until our wedding night. Now I am content with the real man who showed me I was worth waiting for.” —Peyton

Want more? Visit j4gmagazine.com for additional dating do’s and don’ts, helpful information on STDs and hormonal contraception, and more.

Despite the choices you’ve made in the past, you can start over at any time. It’s up to you―what will you choose? Sassler, Sharon, et al. “The tempo of sexual activity and later relationship quality.” Journal of Marriage and Family, vol. 74, no. 4, 13 July 2012, pp. 708–725, https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2012.00996.x

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Are You Ready to Take on Your Future? The stress of being a man can add up. Maybe that pressure comes from school, family, your coach, or even your friends’ expectations of you. Do you feel it? You want to make good grades, have some money, and play your favorite video game, but ultimately you want to finish school, get a great job, and build the perfect life. Knowing the decisions you make today really will make a difference later on is tough. Every guy wants success, whatever that looks like. One major barrier to success for your future revolves around how you develop relationships today. That’s what this magazine is all about― building new relationships and the life you want. All of that and more, you can read in this edition of Just4Girls/ Just4Guys. On this side, you will get the “Inside scoop on girls” and finish with a healthy dose of information on things you may not know―even some hard-hitting truth. Now is the time when you decide what kind of man you want to become and what type of life you want to live. You get to choose what your future looks like. This is your time.

Table of Contents: Lucas’ Story

...................................3

The Inside Scoop ...........................4 Dating in the 2020s .....................4 Did you know? ...............................5 Five Steps ........................................5 Are You a Consumer? ..................6 Breaking the Habit .......................7 Saving Sex .......................................8

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Why save sex for marriage?

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What a deep and intricate question. One that has caused major changes in the way our world views sex. They tell you that it’s just sex. It feels good, right? Why not enjoy it? I had to answer this question for myself when I began seriously pursuing a relationship. Why should I wait? If I truly love someone and I am attracted to them, isn’t it in our nature to desire sex, especially at our age? I found my answer to this question several years ago while sitting in my room reflecting on my beliefs. I decided someday I wanted to get married, I wanted to love someone completely. To do this, what must I do? Well, I think that means I need to save sex for marriage. If I don’t wait, what happens? Well, I demonstrate my complete lack of self-control, and a selfish desire to feel good. Frankly, it makes me look like a pathetic man who follows sudden whims and cravings. To me, it just seems... well, it seems rather easy to have sex before marriage. If I’m going to take the easy path in a relationship, how can I look her in the eye and tell her I truly love her? If I’m not willing to make this sacrifice for her, it isn’t love. It’s selfish. So, I found my answer. I will save sex for marriage because it shows that I actually do love this woman; not only her, but myself, too. Many people have given me grief for this decision. My classmates do not seem to agree with my line of thinking, which has made things more difficult. But no one said love would be easy, so I take this difficulty as a direct challenge and one that I can overcome. So, what about you? Will you take this challenge with me? Now is the time to prove your manhood to the woman you claim to love. Do you love her, and will you wait for her? Or do you want to give in to your weakness? I chose the difficult path, and I believe it will lead me to happiness.

What will you choose?

—Lucas

“Sex was the dominating force in our relationship. It wasn’t communication or love that held us together; it was sex. I now understand this is not how relationships were designed to progress.” —Connor

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The Inside Scoop On Girls Progesterone

Female Hormone Levels

Have you ever said to yourself, “I never know what she wants? I’m not even sure she knows what she wants. One minute she’s fine... then she suddenly isn’t! Is she nuts, or is she just not into me anymore?” Before you decide to give up, there’s a logical answer. Take a look at these two hormone charts. In women, progesterone, estrogen, and luteinizing hormones (LH) all surge and fall, impacting her moods, appetite, and energy.1 Males on the other hand, are hormonally consistent from day to day. This isn’t an excuse for girls to be mean, but it might help you understand a little better why your mother, sister, girlfriend, or classmates seem to have twenty different moods in one hour. The next time you’re trying to figure out what she wants, remember she isn’t on the same “wavelength” as you― literally―so give her a little space. You’ll be glad you did.

Menstruation 7

Estrogen FSH LH

Days of Menstruation Cycle

Guys

Girls

In men, the follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH) acts on the Sertoli cells of the testes to stimulate sperm production (spermatogenesis).2

In women, FSH stimulates the growth of ovarian follicles in the ovary before the release of an egg at ovulation. It also signals the body to increase oestradiol production.3

Is This What Dating in 2024 Has to Look Like? You add her on social media or maybe she slides into your DMs.

Then you text and message each other back and forth, sharing what you think of each other.

You start to think every notification is from her and race to check them.

Then you start hooking up with each other... but you both stare at your phones when you go out on dates.

“We couldn’t communicate in person because we had built the relationship online.” Does this sound familiar? If you like a girl, take the time to interact with her in REAL LIFE. It’s hard to build a relationship with someone you never speak to in person. Ask her out so you can get to know the real her―and she can get to know the real you, too! View and share the entire magazine at j4gmagazine.com The Inside Scoop On Girls 1 You and Your Hormones,” www.yourhormones.info/hormones/. url. Accessed 1 Feb. 2024.| 2 “Follicle Stimulating Hormone,” https://www.yourhormones.info/hormones/follicle-stimulating-hormone/. Accessed 1 February, 2024. | 3 Ibid. Did you know? 1 Tollestrup, Jessica. Teen Birth Trends: In Brief, Congressional Research Service, Sept. 2022, crsreports.congress.gov/product/pdf/R/R45184. | 2 Ibid | 3 Bradley, B., Green, Am (2013). Do health and education agencies in the US share responsibility for academic achievement and health? Journal of Adolescent Health. 52:5213-532; and Finger R, Thelen T, Vessey JT, Mohn JK, Mann JR. (2004) Association of virginity at age 18 with educational, economic, social, and health outcomes in middle adulthood. Adolesc Fam Health. 3:164-17. | 4 Kugler, Kari C., et al. “Long-term consequences of early sexual initiation on Young Adult Health.” The Journal of Early Adolescence, vol. 37, no. 5, 2016, pp. 662–676, https://doi.org/10.1177/0272431615620666. | 5 Kastbom, A., Sydsjo, G., Bladh, M., Svedin, C., (2015, May 4). Sexual debut before the age of 14 leads to poorer psychosocial health and risky behavior in later life. Acta Paediatrica 104:91-100 | 6 Ibid. | 7 Center for Disease Control and Prevention, “Youth Risk Behavior Survey.” 13 Feb. 2023, www.cdc.gov/healthyyouth/data/yrbs/pdf/YRBS_Data-Summary-Trends_Report2023_508.pdf. | 8 Barna Group. (2015). Teens Speak Out survey. Ventura: Author. Albert, B. (2012). With One Voice 2012. Washington, DC: the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy. Retrieved March 18, 2015 at https://thenationalcampaign.org/sites/default/files/resource-primary-download/wov_2012.pdf | 9 CDC (2021) Sexually Transmitted Infections Prevalence, Incidence, and Cost Estimates in the United States. Accessed at https://www.cdc.gov/std/statistics/prevalence-2020-at-a-glance.htm National Overview - Sexually Transmitted Disease Surveillance, 2019. (2021, April 13). National Overview - Sexually Transmitted Disease Surveillance, 2019.

Did you know?

j4gmagazine.com

Teens having sex are statistically more likely... •

To get pregnant1

•

To live in poverty2 and have less financial net worth3

•

To contract sexually transmitted infections4

•

To experience sexual abuse and victimization5

•

To have poor self-esteem and mental health struggles.6

Among 15-17-year-olds, 71% of boys and 69% of girls have never had sex.7

50% of 18-19-year-olds wish they had waited longer to have sex.8 Young adults contract about 10 million new STIs each year, costing about $4.16 billion in direct medical costs.9

Five Steps to Help Her... Of course, sex can cause pregnancy―your biology textbook tells you that. But have you ever thought about how you can support a friend/girlfriend/family member when they’re faced with an unplanned pregnancy? Here are five steps you can take:

1. Be there for her. When she finds out she’s

pregnant, she’s going to feel like life is changing too fast. This can cause a lot of anxiety. Let her know that you’re there to listen and that she’s not alone.

2. Be Positive. The last thing she needs is for you to

respond with alarm when she’s already stressed— choose to be calm and reassuring.

3. Help Her. Identify ways you can help and offer to

lend a hand. Could she use help finding a doctor, picking up her latest pregnancy cravings, or getting supplies? Don’t be overbearing. Just be available.

4. Provide Rest and Relaxation. This might be the

most challenging period of her life. Support and encourage her. Let her know she still deserves a little pampering. Treat her to a meal, have a movie night at home, or indulge her with a spa day.

5. Create a Support Network. Have friends and

family join in to help her on her journey to motherhood. Throw a baby shower, set up meal trains to help feed her, raise gas money or offer to drive her to appointments, start a GoFundMe page, or fundraise to help pay for baby supplies.

Start to think about this today, just in case. Plan to be there for her. She’ll need support. The key is not to panic if you or your friend faces an unplanned pregnancy.

Just4Guys

ARE YOU A CONSUMER? When was the last time you consumed pornography, on your phone, laptop, or tablet? Do you find you can’t keep those images out of your mind? By 11-years-old, 51%1 of boys have seen porn and by 17, 79%2 of young men have.

While some casually view pornography, many experience a real addiction to it. Society and pop culture perpeturate the belief that all men watch pornography by making jokes and crude comments about it. Pornography is treated as normal and good. But it’s not. So, if everyone watches it, why should you stop? Pornography has consequences. There’s nothing healthy about it, which is why a growing number of young people are refusing to be consumers. There are a lot of good reasons to be part of that number: 1. Pornography messes with your mind. Pornography changes your brain. It’s addictive, decreases sensitivity to pleasure,3 and reduces frontal brain matter.4 It has also been found to decrease self-control5 and it’s harmful to the mental health of those who use it.6,7 2. Pornography keeps you from achieving your goals. 47% of pornography users reported consuming for 30 minutes to three hours per day.8 In one year, that can add up to over a thousand hours! Unsurprisingly, 30% of users reported that their work performance suffered because of their pornography use.9 Your goals matter―pornography gets in the way of achieving them. 3. You respect your body. Pornography not only affects the way that users view themselves by worsening body image and decreasing selfesteem,10 but it can also lead to physical problems, like sexual dysfunction.11 4. You refuse to fuel exploitation. The pornography industry profits from abuse and exploitation12 and fuels sex trafficking.13 Even so-called “ethical” pornography shows a disrespect for the sexual integrity of others and often exploits the people involved in producing it.14 5. Your relationships are healthier without it. Pornography use decreases relationship satisfaction15 and commitment to one’s partner,16 as well as dramatically increasing the likelihood of divorce.17 Your current and future relationships will be much healthier without pornography. It is possible to break the habit and there are countless people and resources to help you. Visit www.fightthenewdrug.org or joinfortify.com to find resources to help you!

“For 10 years of my compulsion, I didn’t pursue my dreams. I didn’t discover my hobbies. For 10 years I played video games, watched TV, and watched porn. That was pretty much my life. Yes, I went out with friends and did social things, but when no one was around, that’s all I did. Now that porn is out of my life, I can pursue my dreams again. I can’t begin to describe how much I want the last decade back. The relationships I could have had and the growth I could have experienced. Porn prohibited me from having any real relationships. By taking up hundreds and hundreds of hours of my life, porn stunted me from growing as a person.”

—Zack

ingtheHabit k a

j4gmagazine.com

e r B

Fighting against a pornography addiction can be mentally exhausting. You might feel as though you are all alone but you’re not the only one feeling guilt or shame. Pornography addiction is becoming a global epidemic that plagues too many. It is possible to create positive habits that will eventually break the addiction to pornography, but the images you viewed in the past may re-surface in your brain down the road and lead to relapses. Simple adjustments in your everyday routine will help you steer clear of pornography and keep it out of your life.

• Avoid problem websites and browsing the

internet when you’re bored, tired, or stressed.

• Are there certain social media accounts that

always end with you watching pornography? Avoid them.

• Block pornography sites in your browser. You could also use a text-only browser for a while.

• Don’t keep your smartphone next to your bed. If you need it for an alarm clock, get an actual alarm clock or switch your phone onto airplane mode.

• Did you just suffer a bad breakup? If so, only browse during the day.

Try doing something else to overcome watching pornography. Start working out to use up excess energy and fall asleep more quickly at night. One thing proven to be the most helpful is talking about it with someone else and setting up some sort of accountability system. You’re much less likely to view pornography if you have someone to help and keep you accountable. This should be someone you trust and report to frequently. It may seem like a scary thing to do; however, just the knowledge that your web activity can be seen by someone else will most likely keep you out of the darkest areas of the internet. Are You a Consumer? 1 Bbfc. “Children See Pornography as Young as Seven, New Report Finds.” Home, BBFC, 26 Sept. 2019, https://www.bbfc.co.uk/about-us/news/children-see-pornography-as-young-as-seven-new-report-finds. | 2 Robb, Michael B, and Supreet Mann. “Teens and Pornography.” Edited by Jennifer Robb, https://www.commonsensemedia.org/, Common Sense Media, 2023, https://www.commonsensemedia.org/sites/default/files/research/report/2022-teens-and-pornography-final-web.pdf. | 3 Fight the New Drug. “Why Porn Can Be Difficult to Quit.” fightthenewdrug.org/why-porn-can-be-difficult-to-quit/. | 4 Kuhn, S., & Gallinat, J. (2014). Brain Structure and Functional Connectivity Associated With Pornography Consumption: The Brain on Porn. JAMA Psychiatry, 71(7), 827-834. doi:10.1001/jamapsychiatry.2014.93 | 5 Negash, S., Sheppard, N. V., Lambert, N. M., & Fincham, F. D. (2016). Trading Later Rewards for Current Pleasure: Pornography Consumption and Delay Discounting. Journal of sex research, 53(6), 689–700. https://doi.org/10.1080/00224499.2015.1025123 | 6 Harper, C., & Hodgins, D. C. (2016). Examining Correlates of Problematic Internet Pornography Use Among University Students. Journal of behavioral addictions, 5(2), 179–191. https://doi.org/10.1556/2006.5.2016.022 | 7 Koletić G. (2017). Longitudinal associations between the use of sexually explicit material and adolescents’ attitudes and behaviors: A narrative review of studies. Journal of adolescence, 57, 119–133. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.adolescence.2017.04.006 | 8 Katie Szittner, “Study exposes secret world of porn addiction,” Sydney.edu. May 10, 2012. http://sydney.edu.au/news/84.html?newsstoryid=9176 | 9 Ibid. | 10 Ballard Brief, “Pornography Use in the United States” https://ballardbrief.byu.edu/issue-briefs/pornography-use-among-young-adults-in-the-united-states | 11 Park, B. Y., Wilson, G., Berger, J., Christman, M., Reina, B., Bishop, F., Klam, W. P., & Doan, A. P. (2016). Is Internet Pornography Causing Sexual Dysfunctions? A Review with Clinical Reports. Behavioral sciences (Basel, Switzerland), 6(3), 17. https://doi.org/10.3390/bs6030017 | 12 Fight the New Drug, “How Porn Can Fuel Sex Trafficking” https://fightthenewdrug.org/how-porn-can-fuel-sex-trafficking/ | 13 Ibid. | 14 Fight the New Drug. “How Ethical Is ‘Ethical Porn,’ Really?” Fight the New Drug, fightthenewdrug.org/how-ethical-is-ethical-porn-really/. Accessed 12 Dec. 2023. | 15 Tylka, T. L., & Kroon Van Diest, A. M. (2015). You Looking at Her “Hot” Body May Not be “Cool” for Me: Integrating Male Partners’ Pornography Use into Objectification Theory for Women. Psychology of Women Quarterly, 39(1), 67–84. https://doi.org/10.1177/0361684314521784 | 16 Minarcik, J., Wetterneck, C. T., & Short, M. B. (2016). The Effects Of Sexually Explicit Material Use On Romantic Relationship Dynamics. Journal Of Behavioral Addictions, 5(4) 700-707. Doi: 10.1556/2006.5.2016.078 | 17 Ballard Brief, “Pornography Use in the United States” https://ballardbrief.byu.edu/issue-briefs/pornography-use-among-young-adults-in-the-united-states Breaking the Habit 1 Park, B. Y., Wilson, G., Berger, J., Christman, M., Reina, B., Bishop, F., Klam, W. P., & Doan, A. P. (2016). Is Internet Pornography Causing Sexual Dysfunctions? A Review with Clinical Reports. Behavioral sciences (Basel, Switzerland), 6(3), 17. https://doi.org/10.3390/bs6030017 | 2 Fight the New Drug. “Why Quitting Porn Can Give You More Time and Energy to Get Back Into Hobbies.” Fight the New Drug, https://fightthenewdrug.org/porn-kills-hobbies-how-a-porn-habit-can-drive-consumers-away-from-doing-what-they-love/. | 3 Fight the New Drug. “National Trafficking Awareness Day: What You Need to Know about Porn, Trafficking &amp; How to Fight.” Fight the New Drug, https://fightthenewdrug.org/national-human-trafficking-awareness-day-everything-you-need-to-know/.

Just4Guys

saving sex “Every person, no matter how well rooted they are in their values, gets tempted at one point or another―this is my story. I went through high school without dating anyone, had strong morals and an innocent mind for the most part. I knew I wanted to save sex for marriage. These values were infused in me from my family. I dated my first girlfriend during my sophomore year of college and things started with hand holding and hugging. I learned about her past with an ex-boyfriend and that she had done somethings she regretted. I forgave her, but at the same time, I struggled and hated picturing her with another guy. When we became ‘official,’ we made-out quite a bit and my desire to be more physical took over. As we focused on each other’s bodies, we crossed the line numerous times. It plagued my thoughts and I began to think, ‘If she was willing to do those things with another guy, would she do them with me?’ I became curious and began looking up sexual things and how to push her further in our physical relationship. It was wrong and I knew it. But my body was taking over my mind. Several months passed and it became the only reason why I’d see her. When I was with her, all I thought about was, ‘How can I get what I want from her?’ It was a horrible poisoned mindset. I realized that I wanted out.

The Success Sequence According to the Brookings Institute, if you do these three things:

Eventually, after much soul-searching and guidance from family and friends, we ended our relationship. I apologized for how I hurt and mistreated her. I was humbled when she forgave me. It takes two, but I should have led with sexual integrity and real love. This leadership role is one I decided to strive for ever since. I took time to renew myself and learn how to live with integrity. And I’ve realized that it’s through pure motives and selfless actions that the best and greatest of relationships can thrive.”

—Jayden

1. Get a high school diploma 2. Maintain a full-time job 3. And wait until marriage to have kids You have a 97% chance of living free from poverty.1 1 Haskins, Ron, and Isabel V. Sawhill. Creating an Opportunity Society. Brookings Institution Press, 2009.

So now you’ve read some important—if not life altering—information about relationships. Are you willing to seek success for your future? Each man is different. Each of us grows at our own pace and finds real love at different times. Perhaps today you’ve realized pornography is destroying your life. Maybe you see how it will influence your future and want to stop consuming now. You can, but you’ll need help. Knowing the facts, recognizing relationship pitfalls, and seeking help from someone you trust are the first steps in accomplishing your relationship and life goals.

Visit j4gmagazine.com to share an article with a friend, get additional help to quit porn, tips for relationships, and more.

It’s time to rise to the challenge, make good choices, and create a great life for yourself.