Saving Sex

“As a teen, I played the third wheel because my twin had many boyfriends and I didn’t. I became depressed and wondered why guys didn’t like me. When I finally got a boyfriend, our values didn’t match and my family didn’t approve, but I thought Steve was “the one.”

I wanted to remain a virgin before marriage, but Steve and I got physically closer until one night I completely gave myself to him. After, I jumped out of bed and curled up in the corner crying. I knew I couldn’t take it back, ever. I felt like it no longer mattered. For years, we kept sleeping together.

I developed a dependency on him and knew something needed to change. Breaking up with Steve was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do because I had given him myself so many times. I told him I loved him and he was perfect for me except for one thing— he didn’t respect or protect my purity. I vowed not to date again until I was 100 percent sure whom I would marry and that he would respect my sexual integrity.

While I was single, I sought out a strong group of friends who shared my values. I met an honorable guy in the group name Aaron, who I ended up marrying! He understood that abstinence was important and we remained pure until our wedding night. I was his first girlfriend; his first kiss! I know what love is now and am so content to be with a man who showed me that.”

—Kayla

The conversation about waiting to have sex feels outdated and meaningless.

Who has enough willpower these days to actually hold themselves to that goal? It’s proven that couples that wait have higher satisfaction, contentment, and better sex. On the other hand, relationships that move rapidly into sex are often filled with distress.

There are countless other ways to show someone that you love them. Waiting to have sex until you’re committed, like getting married, is a beautiful expression of real love. You’re willing to use self-control, patience, and put real love into practice for another person. Not to mention, waiting to have sex is the number one way to find someone that truly loves you for all the right reasons.

Despite the choices you’ve made in the past, you can start over at any time. It’s up to you; what will you choose?

Want more? Visit j4gmagazine.com for additional dating do’s and don’ts, helpful information on STDs and hormonal contraception, and more.