Dating in the 2020's?!

After a year of being online with school, friendships, and everything else, it's time to actually date in real life.

What it looks like:

• You add her on Snapchat or maybe she slides into your DMs.

• You message each other back and forth.

• Eventually, you either tell each other the other person’s hot or cute (over text not face to face, of course).

• You start hooking up with each other.

If you like a girl, ask her out in real life. Not online. You will have no relationship or even friendship if it only exists online. Dating is good. It’s also much more fun in person than online! You and whoever you're asking out are designed for in-person connection and friendship. Having a "thing" online will only give you a sense of relief for a time, but there is no real support or love because there's actually no relationship.

"We couldn’t communicate in person because we had built the relationship online. - Sarah

Tips to date well and safely:

▶ Stay with the group If you don’t know the person well, it’s better to date in a group setting or to go on a double date with a couple you know. Be aware of the dangers of human trafficking. ▶ Stand your ground Don’t be tolerant of a guy who violates your personal boundaries. If he doesn’t respond when you tell him to stop, leave the situation. ▶ Watch your beverage Don’t accept beverages from people you don’t know and don’t drink out of anything you’ve left unattended. “Date rape drugs” can be slipped into your drink when you’re not paying attention. ▶ Trust your instincts If you sense something isn’t right, end the date or get out of the situation.

Is it "silly" to not want to have sex yet?

Short answer: no, it's not. You don't need to be embarrassed about it either. Actually, sex is designed for pro-creation (making other human beings). While it's also to express real love to your significant other, if you are not ready to have a baby then you are not ready to have sex. Think about it: physically your body might want to have sex, but your body also wants to do a lot of things all of the time. However, sex isn't just physical - it's emotional. If you are emotionally not ready to have/care for a child, or emotionally not ready to have sex and the relationship end, don't have sex.

The conversation about waiting to have sex feels outdated and meaningless. Who has enough willpower these days to actually hold themselves to that goal? It’s proven that couples that wait have higher satisfaction, contentment, and better sex. On the other hand, relationships that move rapidly into sex are often filled with distress. There are countless other ways to show someone that you love them. Waiting to have sex until you’re committed, like getting married, is a beautiful expression of real love. You’re willing to use self-control, patience, and put real love into practice for another person. Not to mention, waiting to have sex is the number one way to find someone that truly loves you for all the right reasons.

Did you know?

Teens having sex are statistically more likely...

• To experience pregnancy

• To live in poverty and have less financial net worth

• To contract sexually transmitted infections

• To experience sexual abuse and victimization

• Among 15-17 year olds, 69% of boys and 72% of girls have never had sex.

• Young adults contract about 10 million new STDs each year, costing about $8 billion in direct medical costs.

• 50% of 18-19 year olds wish they had waited longer to have sex.

• Most youth support reserving sex until marriage. Both in general and for themselves.

Want more? Visit j4gmagazine.com for additional dating do’s and don’ts, helpful information on STDs and hormonal contraception, and more.