Equality Magazine Spring 2011 by Human Rights Campaign

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s p r i n g 2011

Rep. Barbara Lee’s leading role on hiv/AIDS funding HRC Poll: Big Numbers Against DOMA ted olson A conservative makes the case for marriage equality TV’s Fabulous Beekman Boys Out on the farm & In a Bookstore Near you

Equality Interview

Suze Orman On Being Gay, our ‘second-class citizenship’ & HRC’s key role in changing Laws

Diversity and Inclusion A wide range of people and experience helps Morgan Stanley to think globally and act with deep local understanding. That’s why we want all of our employees to bring their full selves to the table. We take diversity seriously in all aspects of our business— from our employees, to our customers, to the companies that supply us with the goods and services that enable us to do business. At Morgan Stanley, we understand that diversity is not an obligation—it’s an opportunity.

morganstanley.com/diversity

Not all ifs in life are the same.

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LETTER FROM THE PRESIDENT

HRC SENIOR STAFF Joe Solmonese President Michael Cole Press Secretary Ann Crowley Membership & Online Strategy Director Robert Falk General Counsel Andrea Green Finance Director John Greene Human Resources Director

Winning Recognition and Respect for Our Families

Allison Herwitt Legislative Director Anastasia Khoo Marketing Director Don Kiser Creative Director Cathy Nelson Vice President for Development & Membership Jim Rinefierd Vice President for Finance & Operations Marty Rouse National Field Director

hile last year’s fight for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender equality was defined by the repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” 2011 is shaping up as the year when recognition of LGBT families takes a huge leap forward. In a historic move, the Obama administration announced that it would end its legal defense of the discriminatory Defense of Marriage Act, which denies married lesbian and gay couples more than 1,000 rights and responsibilities enjoyed by other married couples. Legislation to repeal DOMA was introduced in the Senate and a companion bill in the House of Representatives has 110 co-sponsors. In addition, Delaware, Hawaii and Illinois have passed civil unions legislation, while New York and Rhode Island are moving closer to joining five other states and the District of Columbia in offering same-sex couples full marriage equality. Also this year, the Obama administration’s directive requiring hospitals to provide equal visitation rights to LGBT families went into effect. And the political arena isn’t the only place where we’re making remarkable progress. A growing group of celebrities and other prominent Americans are calling on elected officials to support marriage equality, and 19-year-old Iowan Zach Wahls became an overnight sensation after his passionate testimony about being raised by his two mothers went viral. Meanwhile, The Kids Are Alright, a film about a lesbian couple and their family, which Equality magazine highlighted early on, garnered four Academy Award nominations. And a new Washington PostABC News poll shows a majority of Americans support marriage equality. LGBT families still face stiff opposition — as right-wing forces in the U.S. House defend DOMA in federal

EQUALITY

spring 2011

court using taxpayer money. Anti-LGBT state legislators are pushing to roll back marriage equality in Iowa and New Hampshire, add bans on same-sex marriage to five more state constitutions, and bar LGBT people from adopting children or serving as foster parents in three other states. Your generous support is fueling the Human Rights Campaign’s efforts to secure full marriage equality, end anti-LGBT workplace discrimination and economically empower LGBT families through working toward the passage of federal legislation like the Tax Equity for Health Plan Beneficiaries Act and the Uniting American Families Act. You’re also helping us ramp up initiatives like our Welcoming Schools program, which helps elementary schools teach children respect and tolerance before middle and high school, and our Call It Out campaign, which holds religious and political leaders publicly accountable for words and actions that create a toxic climate for LGBT youth. With your continued help, HRC will keep fighting for LGBT Americans and our families. Thank you for your steadfast commitment. Gratefully,

Fred Sainz Vice President of Communications & Marketing Susanne Salkind Managing Director David M. Smith Vice President of Programs Christopher Speron Development Director Cuc Vu Chief Diversity Officer HRC EQUALITY STAFF Janice Hughes Publications Director Sarah Streyle Senior Graphic Design Specialist Robert Villaflor Design Director OTHER CONTRIBUTORS Joanna Blotner, Alexa Delisle, Deena Fidas, Justin Giaquinto, Allison Herwitt, Ellen Kahn, Anastasia Khoo, Don Kiser, Andrea Levario, Mollie Levin, Jason Lott, Timothy Mahoney, Adam Marquez, Brian Moulton, Kevin Nix, Karin Quimby, Marty Rouse, Fred Sainz, Ben Shallenberger, Chris Speron, Monica Watson, Aaron Welo

Equality is a publication of the Human Rights Campaign and the Human Rights Campaign Foundation. Equality (ISSN 1092-5791) is published quarterly by HRC, 1640 Rhode Island Ave., N.W., Washington, D.C. 20036. Copyright 2011. All rights reserved. Subscription rates: Free to members. Printed in the USA. The Human Rights Campaign and HRC Foundation names and Equality logos are trademarks of the Human Rights Campaign and HRC Foundation. To join HRC, call 800-727-4723, visit www.hrc.org or TTY at 202-216-1572. Are you an HRC member? Have a question? HRC’s Member Services Team, led by Dana Campbell, works every day to provide HRC’s more than 1 million members and supporters with the best membership experience possible. To contact Member Services, e-mail membership@hrc.org or call 800-727-4723.

Joe Solmonese P.S. Our nation’s LGBT families deserve the same rights, recognition and respect as every other American family. So I hope you will consider sending a generous special gift to HRC today or giving online at www.hrc.org/ spring. And if possible, please elevate your commitment by giving monthly as an HRC Partner or joining our Federal Club program. Thank you!

All advertisers in Equality magazine are Human Rights Campaign National Corporate Partners. Because of HRC’s commitment to improving the lives of LGBT Americans in the workplace, all of our National Corporate Partners must demonstrate their own dedication by achieving a score of 85 percent or greater on HRC’s Corporate Equality Index. Companies such as these have advanced the cause of LGBT equality in the workplace. For specific scores, criteria and more information on the Corporate Equality Index, please visit www.hrc.org/CEI.

Board of Directors

spring 2011

Lacey All WA, Kevin Bass CA, Bruce Bastian UT, Terry Bean OR, David Beckwith CA, Les Bendtsen MN, Paul Boskind NY, Stephanie Carreon TX, Dan Cochran NY, Jane Daroff OH, Bill Donius MO, Tim Downing OH, Linda Elliott AZ, Anne Fay TX, Chris Flynn MA, Jody Gates LA, Kirk Hamill DC, Mike Holloman TX, John Isa DC, LeeAnn Jones GA, Tom Knabel MN, Tom Kovach NV, Chris Labonte PA, Jani Lopez TX, Joan Lau PA, Anton Mack CA, Joni Madison NC, Josh Miller NV, Michael Palmer DC, Terry Penrod OH, Dana Perlman CA, Henry Robin NY, Cathi Scalise TX, Linda Scaparotti CA, Molly Simmons GA, Meghan Stabler TX, Faye Wilson Tate CO, Rebecca Tillet NY, Julius Turman CA, Alan Uphold CA, David Wilson MA, Frank Woo CA, Lisa Zellner OH

I NS I DE FEATURES

Board of Governors

Foundation Board of Directors Lacey All WA, Gwen Baba CA, John Barry IL, Bruce Bastian UT, Terry Bean OR, Ken Britt GA, Lee Carter NC, Dan Cochran NY, Edie Cofrin GA, Lawrie Demorest GA, Anne Fay TX, Sandra Hartness CA, Garry Kief CA, Andy Linsky CA, Judy Shepard WY, Mary Snider DC

Current as of 4/1/2011

9 Ted Olson leading Conservative lawyer Makes the Case for Marriage Equality

11 Big Numbers Against DOMA New HRC Poll: Opposition to DOMA is High across All Demographics

13 Suze Orman on changing lives, the ‘new american dream’ and life with k.t. 19 The Legacy of Harvey Milk Trevor Project & HRC Collaborate in San Francisco To Help Youth 21 out on the farm The fabulous Beekman Boys’ New Book: On TV, In the Muck & Still Together 23 Rep. Barbara Lee Sex Ed, the Next Global AIDS Summit & Why HIV/AIDS Funding Simply Can’t Be Cut

photos: (top to bottom): Alex Wong / Getty, Bill Clark / Getty, Rachel Jane for HRC

Robert Abernathy IL, Rick Aishman TX, Steve Amend NV, Andrew Arnold CA, Karen Aronoff OH, Varo Asorian CA, Matthew Bacon MA, Jessica Bair CA, Phillip Baker AZ, Ian Barrett MA, Vanessa Benavides TX, Bob Berry IL, Scott Bishop NC, Wendy Blenning OR, Eric Blomquist NY, Patricia Bolton WA, Chris Boone WA, Ebonee Bradford GA, Tim Bresnahan IL, Barbara Browning MA, Charlie Buchanan TX, Deiadra Burns TX, Rory Cahn OH, Nancy Caldwell TX, Frank Caliguri OH, Todd Canon TX, Carlos Carbonell FL, Christopher Carolan NY, Bill Castellani DC, Steven Cayton GA, Jeffrey Caywood OH, Kevin Cheng CA, Dawn Christensen NV, Jeff Coop WA, Thomas Cowley CA, John Cramer TX, Jeremy Davis TN, Fiona Dawson TX, Brad DiFiore GA, Candace DiGirolamo OH, Robert Dogens NC, Michael Dunning MO, Nikki Eason NC, Patty Ellis NY, Brian Endicott OH, Jill Federico CA, Michael Fifield UT, Steven Fisher CA, Brian Flanagan NJ, Randy Floyd NC, Tom Floyd CA, Donna Flynn TX, Jennifer Foster FL, Ralph Freidin MA, Charles Frew GA, Patrick Gamble AZ, Jeffery Garofalo NV, Sepi Ghafouri CA, Krystal Gilliam TX, Madeline Goss NC, Amos Gott TN, Deb Graves MN, Cherie Green NC, Deb Guidry LA, Paul Guillory TX, Ron Guisinger OH, Jonathan Gundersen PA, Edward Guzek MN, Suzanne Hamilton OH, Jim Harrison TX, James Healey NV, Jason Held IL, Katie Hill TN, Ron Hirth OH, Ted Holmquist CA, Miranda Hooker MA, Brian Irwin TX, Deanne Jockish MO, Ajit Joshi DC, Eric Kenney CA, Sheila Kloefkorn AZ, Tom Kovach NV, Jason Lambert FL, Brian Larios MO, John Leonard TX, Tedd Lesch CA, Billy Leslie TN, Ryan Levy TX, Char Ligo OH, Alex Lindquist CO, Michael Long OR, Raymond Manci CA, John Mancuso MO, John Marez CA, M. Mason OH, Robert Mason CA, Lori Megown NY, Beth Mejia MN, Andrew Melissinos CA, Ryan Messer OH, Gwen Migita NV, Patrick Miller LA, Tim Morneau CA, Kevin Moser WA, Dyshaun Muhammad MN, Christine Nelson MA, George Page TX, Joseph Palacios DC, Bryan M. Parsons NY, Darrell Parsons TX, Ed Patterson GA, Lester Perryman LA, John Piedrahita DC, Hank Provost CO, Anna Prow DC, Catherine Reid CA, Michael Reiser MO, Susan Reyes LA, Brian Rice CT, Wendy Ringe TX, Andy Rubinson MA, John Ruffier FL, Jonathan Russell GA, Terri Rutter MA, Claudine Sanchez AZ, Minita Sanghvi NC, Elizabeth Schleigh TX, Creg Schumann MN, Jon Shaffer OH, Lynn Shepodd CA, Mark Shura MA, Molly Simmons GA, Ashley Smith VA, Corey Smith MN, Michael Smithson OH, LaRence Snowden TX, Steven Spencer-Steigner CA, Colte Suggs DC, Deb Taft MA, Dan Tanner FL, Donna Tarabella OR, Andrea Torrence MO, Marjorie Troxel-Hellmer MO, Ben Waldman WA, Willis Ward NC, Julie Watson MN, Pete Webb NY, Bill Weeks IL, Edward Westreicher GA, Amy White WA, Sharon Wong MD, Julie Wood GA, Kathy Young AZ

32 up close Petitioning a Kansas City Pastor on his Anti-LGBT Work in Uganda

IN EVERY ISSUE 5 Up Front 31 Gala Events National Corporate Sponsors Foundation Partners

on the COVER: Suze Orman

Photo by Brian Bowen Smith

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Arkansas made the news Last fall in ways that many might see as typical — for an

photo: Mario Castillo / Getty

anti-gay diatribe on Facebook by a senior school board official. HRC leapt into action by placing full-page ads in the local newspaper; coordinating with Arkansas LGBT groups; calling out the official, Midlands School Board Vice President Clint McCance; and demanding his resignation. He resigned in shame. But there may be a new typical in Arkansas. Recently, the Republican-controlled House and Senate passed — and the governor signed — a historic, comprehensive bullying bill that protects students on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity, and requires educator training. Only one other state in the South, North Carolina, has a bullying law specifically protecting LGBT students. Meanwhile, the state Supreme Court upheld a lower court ruling that said adoption restrictions on unmarried couples who live together were unconstitutional. Much of the progress in Arkansas has to do with Rep. Kathy Webb. The Democrat, elected in 2006 as the first openly lesbian state representative in the state’s history, is savvy and personable, and not afraid to call out former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee on his homophobia or to work closely with her conservative colleagues on issues of mutual concern. Webb also was instrumental in stopping the anti-gay adoption bill in the state House Judiciary Committee in 2007. Webb’s skillful balancing may come not only from her decades of working in the hospitality industry — she owns a popular restaurant in Little Rock (Lilly’s Dim Sum) — but also from serving successfully as an open lesbian in a conservative statehouse. In fact, Webb’s colleagues elected her chair of the House Budget Committee this year, the first time in history that a woman has held this post.

The early 1980s. New York City. The AIDS crisis. Larry Kramer’s landmark play, “The Normal Heart,” a powerful look at the sexual politics surrounding the epidemic, has premiered on Broadway for a special, limited run through mid-July. Jim Parsons, Ellen Barkin and others star in the play at the Golden Theatre. Part of the proceeds from ticket sales support HRC and three other non-profit groups. See thenormalheartbroadway.com for more.

UP FRONT “New York has always been about diversity and acceptance.” Actress Lucy Liu, a native of Queens, New York, joined HRC’s “New Yorkers for Marriage Equality” video campaign as the debate heated up in Albany on the topic. HRC recently released videos from New York chefs Mario Batali, David Chang and Tom Colicchio; former New York Police Dept. Commissioner Bill Bratton and criminal defense lawyer Rikki Klieman; Sens. Chuck Schumer and Kirsten Gillibrand; Russell Simmons, Joan Rivers, Barbara Bush, Moby and Mayor Michael Bloomberg — with more to come. See www.hrc.org/NY4marriage.

‘6,000 years of moral teaching?’ HRC Family Project Director Ellen Kahn (right, below) went head-to-head with anti-gay Virginia lawmaker Bob Marshall on the local Fox News affiliate in Washington about proposed regulations that would bar child welfare agencies from considering sexual orientation during the adoption process. Citing research by major medical and social welfare experts, Kahn calmly rejected Marshall’s repeated claims that “6,000 years of moral teaching” were a reason for banning LGBT people from adopting. Even Fox News anchor Shawn Yancy (center), pressed Marshall on his argument, asking, “Shouldn’t we continue to evolve as a nation?” HRC ran a full-page ad in the Richmond Times-Dispatch urging Gov. Bob McDonnell to support the proposal.

“As a former Marine, I take freedom and liberty very seriously.” When New Hampshire native Craig Stowell, who served a tour of duty in Iraq, wanted to speak out on behalf of his gay brother’s freedom to marry, he contacted HRC to support the marriage equality campaign HRC developed with the statewide LGBT group, New Hampshire Freedom to Marry. Stowell, a conservative Republican, was featured in a full-page newspaper ad and testified before the state legislature for marriage equality, drawing considerable media attention for his public stance supporting his brother, Calvin, 22. Craig’s testimony, along with the attendance of 700+ pro-equality supporters, helped prompt lawmakers to postpone the vote to repeal marriage equality until 2012.

WWW.HRC.ORG

spring 2011

hrc: calling it out, promoting respect “Words have consequences. Whether it’s a local school board member, a religious organization, national ‘advocacy’ groups or elected officials, anti-gay vitriol creates a toxic environment that can make LGBT people — particularly youth — think they aren’t worthy of the same legal rights and love that all

photo: Natacha Pisarenko

Americans deserve.” The Human Rights Campaign’s new Call It Out campaign aims to “call out” homophobia and transphobia and to promote respect and civil discourse. The main idea behind HRC’s webbased campaign is to hold anti-LGBT leaders and organizations accountable for their words. Specifically, it urges visitors to the site to report on any incidents they may see or hear about. HRC launched Call It Out after it was tipped off by Anthony Turner, a 1998 graduate of Midland

High School in Pleasant Plains, Ark., about some homophobic remarks by Clint McCance, a member of the local school board. When McCance posted on a public website a tirade of anti-LGBT comments, Turner took action. Turner hoped that national attention would help kids from his town — and other small towns — realize that people care about them and hopefully prevent other officials from creating the kind of environment that McCance fostered.

Within hours after HRC urged Los Angeles Lakers’ star player Kobe Bryant and the National Basketball Association to speak out against his apparent use of a homophobic slur during a game, both did. HRC acted after TV cameras caught Kobe lashing out against a referee, calling him a “f***ing f***ot,” during a Lakers-San Antonio Spurs game on April 12. In a series of public statements, HRC began pressing for a clear apology and condemnation of the incident. In an unprecedented move, Bryant was fined $100,000 by the NBA.

Upon getting the tip, HRC — alongside two local groups, the NWA Center for Equality and the Center for Artistic Revolution — urged McCance to resign in a full-page ad in the county newspaper about anti-gay bullying and its tragic effects on LGBT and questioning young people.

“I applaud Kobe Bryant for his swift apology,” said HRC President Joe Solmonese after the player called him later in the day. “We had a very sincere conversation in which he expressed his heartfelt regret for the hurt that his words caused. He told me that it’s never OK to degrade or tease.” It was “a teachable moment for the millions of fans — many of them young — who saw that outburst on the floor,” Solmonese noted.

“We hope that all persons in positions of authority, whether they be school officials or pastors, reflect on the language they use and what we can all do to make our youths’ lives better,” said HRC in its ad. HRC also posted a “Fire Clint McCance” Facebook page, which drew 70,000 followers.

250+

The number of clergy and religious leaders — coming from all 50 states and Washington, D.C., representing more than 25 different faith traditions — who will be joining HRC May 22-24, 2011, for Clergy Call in the nation’s capital.

photo: Dakota Fine for HRC

Full Court Press

“What HRC has figured out is that the best antidote to the Religious Right is a mobilized, messaged, Religious Left.” Rev. Canon Susan Russell of All Saints Episcopal Church, Pasadena, Calif., at the recent HRC Los Angeles Gala, speaking about HRC’s Clergy Call this spring.

‘we’re all right’ “Strangers, people I’ve never met before, have told me that my testimony changed their thoughts on the issue, that they’re rethinking it,” Zach Wahls, 19, told HRC leaders at a recent national volunteer and board meeting in Washington. The University of Iowa student became famous after a video went viral of him delivering a powerful speech on behalf of same-sex marriage to Iowa’s House of Representatives. His speech, Wahls said, was among the first times he had spoken out publicly about his family. The ensuing national media attention was a “roller coaster of a ride,” sparking a nationwide discussion about equality, he told HRC leaders. Wahls is part of HRC’s We’re All Right campaign, which challenges the notion that LGBT parents cannot successfully raise loving, stable families. The campaign urges those with LGBT parents to record a video with their story and upload it to YouTube. See www.hrc.org/allright for more.

WWW.HRC.ORG

spring 2011

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Ted Olson M

photo: Jahi Chikwendiu / Getty

arriage equality should be supported by everyone, according to one of the country’s top conservative litigators. No matter what political party you hail from. For two years, Theodore B. Olson has been leading the charge in court to overturn Proposition 8, the California ballot measure that amended the state’s constitution to limit marriage to one man and one woman. The case, Perry v. Schwarzenegger — which is likely to reach the Supreme Court — seems a far cry from another case Olson successfully argued: Bush v. Gore. That case helped put George W. Bush into the White House. The tall, folksy Olson, who teamed up on the Prop. 8 case with David Boies, his former rival in the Bush v. Gore case, addressed HRC’s spring board meeting in Washington. Excerpts follow.

leading conservative litigator makes the case

On why Perry v. Schwarzenegger is so crucial. “It’s a matter of human rights and human dignity, and whether the state of California or other governments in this country, will place in the law of the land, in the charter of California, language that tells everyone in the state that some of its citizens are less equal and less entitled … and that their relationships are less respected. … We can’t conquer discrimination in this country unless we’re capable of dismantling things like Proposition 8 in California.” On why marriage equality is not just for liberals. “People keep asking me, as a conservative, how is it that I can be involved in this case? … What are conservatives doing, standing up against discrimination with respect to people who wish to get married? It is a conservative value. … It isn’t a conservative case for gay marriage. It’s not a liberal case for gay marriage.

It’s an American case for gay marriage. It’s a matter of equality.” And why everyday conversations are key. “My experience has been that, if you can talk to people, they will listen. It’s remarkable. They will open their eyes and say, ‘I see. I see that that’s wrong. I recognize now that the people living next door to me are gay. Or the people that I buy my books from at the bookstore, or the banker I deal with, or the doctor, or the people that I ride to work with in the carpool, who have sons and daughters and brothers and sisters. They’re just like me. They want the same kind of happiness that I do. They want a relationship that’s respected. They want a relationship that they can invite people to celebrate, just like the rest of us. Why not?’” continued on p. 27

“It isn’t a conservative case for gay marriage. It’s not a liberal case for gay marriage. It’s an American case for gay marriage. It’s a matter of equality.”

WWW.HRC.ORG

spring 2011

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T:9.75”

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What do the groups above have in common? Pluralities of all of them oppose the Defense of Marriage Act, according to a new poll released by the Human Rights Campaign. The majority of Americans in each of the groups — white, non-white, men, women, 20-somethings, age 65+, high school grads, Southerners, Catholics, Protestants — don’t support the discriminatory law, according to the poll carried out in mid-March in partnership with Greenberg Quinlan Rosner Research. Fifty-one percent of those polled believe DOMA should be repealed, the poll found. DOMA, which Congress passsed in 1996, denies

legally married same-sex couples 1,000-plus federal rights and benefits, including social security survivor and tax benefits. The poll, released in March, also found that 54 percent of voters oppose the House Republicans’ intervention to defend DOMA and would rather see lawmakers work on economic priorities. (See below.) The poll is the first in a series of quarterly surveys analyzing public opinion on critical lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender issues. See www.hrc.org/DOMApoll2011 for more.

As more Americans back repeal of the Defense of Marriage Act, the Republican-controlled U.S. House of Representatives seems

photo: Alex Wong / Getty

fixated with keeping it in place. House Speaker John Boehner, R-Ohio, has directed the House general counsel to defend the discriminatory law in court. Also, the House Judiciary Committee’s Constitution subcommittee held a hearing, titled “Defending Marriage,” in support of DOMA. Like Boehner, Committee Chair Rep. Trent Franks, R-Ariz., seems a bit obsessed with DOMA, even saying he thinks the president should be impeached for his decision to no longer defend it in court. Meanwhile, fairminded lawmakers in the House and Senate have introduced legislation that would repeal the law.

At Equality presstime, King & Spalding, the law firm that House Speaker Boehner hired to defend DOMA, announced its plans to withdraw from the case, saying “the process used for vetting this engagement was inadequate.” HRC initially spoke out strongly and swiftly against King & Spalding, but then praised the firm for its decision to “stand on the right side of history.” In its criticism, HRC noted that King & Spalding touts on its website its commitment to LGBT equality, including its 95-percent ranking on HRC’s Corporate Equality Index. “Law firms that value LGBT equality should remain committed to those values,” said HRC President Joe Solmonese after King & Spalding announced its decision. HRC’s involvement in the issue began a month earlier when it wrote a letter to major U.S. law firms, urging them not to take up the case.

WWW.HRC.ORG

spring 2011

suze orman

[under construction]

Suze Orman our favorite Finance guru on changing laws, the ‘new american dream’ and life with k.t.

By Janice Hughes

veryone knows Suze Orman. She’s smart and authentic and tells it like it is. And she knows how to empower. She’s the woman that millions of Americans have turned to for advice on how to handle their money, even their lives. The two-time Emmy Award-winning TV host, author

photos: courtesy of Suze Orman

and writer/producer — who will have a show on OWN, the new Oprah Winfrey Network — has a new book out, The Money Class, and it’s already a New York Times bestseller. It’s a master class on every aspect of what she calls the “New American Dream,” including home, family, career and retirement.

Orman — an HRC supporter — spoke recently with Equality about being openly gay, her longtime partner, K.T., our community’s “second-class citizenship” and the laws we so desperately need to change so we, too, can reach for that dream. Whether she’s talking about her early years as a waitress at the Buttercup Bakery or the couple’s plans to board their boat and disappear on the warm, blue waters, Orman lets loose. continued on p. 15

WWW.HRC.ORG

winter 2011

Be Proud. Be Free. Be You. BV.

“We work, we pay taxes and yet when it comes to leaving inheritances or estates, we are treated like secondclass citizens.”

con’t from p. 13 Equality: In your new book, you talk about “standing in our truth.” Suze: Well, when one is gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender, whatever it may be, the strength comes in not you just being it, but you not being ashamed to tell the truth about who and what you are. It is an essential step in order for you to be a powerful person. And it is a step that if you do not take, for whatever reason, then chances are you never will progress in life up the ladder as far as you should progress. You may be doing extremely well, but … it would be impossible for you to be doing as well as you could be doing if you literally just stood in the truth, and especially within the gay community. If all of us who were gay just stood in our truth, said we were gay, introduced our lovers, introduced our husbands or our wives, or however you want to refer to them, people would see we’re out there in even more numbers than they have any idea. Equality: A key part of your book is about being honest and authentic. Where did you learn about the importance of honesty? Who taught you that? Suze: As far as money, nobody. What taught me that was money. And when you are not honest with your money, it’s really [that] you’re not honest with yourself because money cannot do anything without you. And that became very obvious to me when I was lovers with a very wealthy woman and I had no money whatsoever but wanted to impress her with money. And then I fell flat on my face. So I taught myself to be honest with money, by what I did with money. Equality: And in terms of us being honest about our lives?

Suze: When it comes to being gay, I pretty much was always honest. I’ve never been with a man and even though I went on dates and I tried here and there, I always had crushes on women from Day One. A rumor started about me in high school by someone who I’m still very good friends with to this day, and of course I denied it … . But once I was in college and on my own, I very quickly became active in the gay liberation movement … . Even when I became a stockbroker, and I was the first female stockbroker at Merrill Lynch’s Oakland office, they knew. I never thought to hide it. It wasn’t until I started to get “famous” that, I never hid it, but nobody asked me, so I didn’t tell. The greatest thing that ever happened to me was in 2007, in my interview in the New York Times Magazine, [where] it came out that I was gay. And it has been great ever since. Equality: You say that the “family has always been at the heart of the American dream,” and you talk about your mom and your spouse, K.T. Suze: There’s nothing more that anybody wants than that their parents accept them. I think I can honestly say, even though my mother, who is now 96, loves me and adores K.T., that in her heart of hearts, even to this day, she wishes her daughter [were] straight: Because every once in a while, she’ll say to me, “Is there any hope?” And every time she says that to me, it’s like somebody taking a knife and sticking it right into my stomach. Again, she’s 96. So I get that. But then my mother probably wouldn’t like any man I brought home either. … But everybody wants to be accepted by their family. Equality: Marriage equality is a key priority for us at the Human Rights Campaign. It seems a number of members of the LGBT community, as well as our straight allies, can’t seem to get past the word “marriage.” Or at least they’re missing

the financial impact of it, all of the key benefits we don’t receive without marriage. Any thoughts on that? Suze: I can mainly talk about K.T. and myself. It is so very, very, very sad to me. K.T. and I both grew up in families that really didn’t have much money. We both made money ourselves — when I met K.T., she was a multi-millionaire already, all selfearned, all on her own. Number one, when one of us dies, we are going to lose about 50 percent above the estate tax limit, of what we’re going to leave to each other. If we were heterosexuals and we were married, she could leave me $10 billion, and I wouldn’t have to pay estate tax on it. Number two, there is something radically wrong with the fact that you can be with somebody for 10, 20, 30, 40 years and not get Social Security [survivor] benefits. K.T., let’s just say, is getting $2,000 a month, and let’s say I didn’t work, and I was getting $1,000 a month. In a heterosexual couple, if she dies, if it were legal, I could take over her $2,000 a month and just give up my $1,000. There’s something radically wrong that we can’t do that, as gays. And the list goes on and on and on. There’s tax planning trust: Married couples can do that, allowing them to leave millions and millions of dollars to their children, and we can’t do it the same way. There are so many reasons why it is just plain wrong. We work, we pay taxes and yet when it comes to leaving inheritances or estates, we are treated like second-class citizens. Now I truthfully would be fine with that, if they changed it for heterosexuals as well. And that’s what I think we should go for … if they won’t give it to us, and we continued on p. 17

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spring 2011

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con’t from p. 15 are in such trouble here in the United States of America, then take it away from the heterosexuals. It is not their birthright that they get to pass money on and we don’t. So, let them feel what we’re feeling, and you watch how quickly marriage equality will be passed. Equality: We’re also focused here at HRC on trying to change laws and make lives better, encouraging people to speak up and write letters. Suze: It all goes back to standing in the truth, and when one person is silent, that may just have been the person that was needed to make somebody change their mind. So silence for one is almost as if it’s silence for all. It is our duty to be able to do what’s right, not just what’s easy, but what’s right. And what’s right is to say, “I matter.” What’s right is to say, “I deserve to be treated just like everybody else.” What’s right is to speak up for what every single gay person deserves in their life. Equality: Is there anything, in particular, that an unmarried LGBT couple can do to create their own “New American Dream,” as you call it in your book? Suze: Well, an unmarried couple may not be an uncommitted couple. So we have to define, “Are you committed? Do you in your own mind, feel like you’re married?” If you do, you have to do a will and a trust, and you have to do the right kind. You have to make sure that you’ve left each other insurance policies in case during your working years, something were to happen. You have to make sure that you understand how your wills versus how you hold title to property, how that results for you. You have to get educated. Married, not married, you’d better understand the laws and how they apply to you. Equality: You also talk about how important is to give, mentioning the Pajama Program, a program that benefits kids. Why do you support our organization?

Suze: Change only truly comes about when laws are changed. And if it’s not a law, it doesn’t matter. You guys really work with changing the laws; other people may work for our rights or being represented correctly in the media and this and that, but if the laws aren’t changed, the truth of the matter is, we have very little to show for our efforts. And, if you don’t have what it takes to change the laws on your own, one of the best investments you could ever make in your future would be to help you guys raise enough money so you can really get these laws changed. Equality: A good portion of your book talks about preparing, no matter what age, for retirement. Where do you and K.T. envision yourselves in 20 years? Suze: On our boat. [Laughter.] We really, really, really thought that by the time I was 60, it would be over — that people would have gotten tired of me denying or approving them, that they would not be buying the books anymore. And that we were just going to go and travel the world, and have the time of our life. We had this fantasy that people would go to suzeorman.com, and all you would find there is a sign that said, “Gone Fishing.” That was five years ago, when we were 55. We had set that as a goal. Well, we could not be more far off that goal if we tried. … I did another PBS special, which [was] more successful than any of the previous six I’d done. This is my tenth book; it is coming out of the gate fabulous. My show is the No. 1-rated show on CNBC; we just celebrated our tenth anniversary. Not only that, [but] obviously I’m going to be doing my own show, for the Oprah Winfrey Network. I’m bringing out a debit card; I’m bringing out a money game; I’m bringing out all these things, and we could be going faster if we tried. …

Check out Orman’s The Money Class! Suze’s gift to Equality readers is a one-year free subscription to her newsletter, The Money Navigator. Go to SuzeOrman.com, click on “The Money Navigator” and enter “HRC” for the Gift Code. (Sign up now! The gift offer expires June 1, 2011.)

whenever we can, we’re on our little boat, which I am the captain of, and we … Equality: [Laughter.] K.T.’s not the captain? Suze: She’s not the captain, no. She’s not allowed to drive my boat. No, she drives the car, I drive the boat. And so our dream is to live three to six months on the water, here, and in the Mediterranean … . Equality: My last question: I love how you always mention where you started — as a waitress in the Buttercup Bakery in San Francisco. It really must give people hope. Do you still think about those times? Suze: All the time. There isn’t a time that K.T. and I don’t look at each other and say, “Can you believe our lives? Can you even begin to believe what we’re doing now?” And … rather than serving up a plate of two eggs over easy with hash browns and toast, I’m serving up a plate of financial advice. I never forget it, and K.T. never forgets how she was raised.

I don’t know where we’re going to be, but we do love the water. You know, we love our home in Florida, and

“… we had this fantasy that people would go to suzeorman.com, and all you would find there is a sign that said, ‘Gone Fishing.’”

WWW.HRC.ORG

spring 2011

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trevor project & HRC collaborate to help youth

ivil rights pioneer Harvey Milk cared deeply about lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender youth – that was a big part of who he was. And that’s the legacy that the Human Rights Campaign is bringing to its newly relocated action center and retail store on Castro Street in San Francisco. In May, HRC held an open house to celebrate its collaboration with The Trevor Project — the country’s only suicide prevention and crisis intervention hotline for LGBT and questioning youth — to provide a new call center in HRC’s new space. In addition, HRC has teamed up with a total of five local, non-profit LGBT groups to support and promote their work. Over the last six months, HRC designed, wired and furnished space in the action center and store for four cubicles for Trevor Project Lifeline Call Center counselors 24 hours a day, every day of the week. The counselors help youth who are in crisis, thinking about suicide, or have questions about their sexuality and/or gender identity.

Milk Civil Rights Academy, a public elementary school; the Harvey Milk Foundation, and the GLBT History Museum. HRC is donating 20 percent of the purchase price from each Harvey Milk product to the Foundation and an additional 20 percent to the Academy. In addition, HRC is giving $10,000 for the next five years to both the Trevor Project and LYRIC. HRC is creating a 6-ft.-wide Harvey Milk mural inside the store, made up of historical photos from the Museum and Milk’s family, along with the documentary, “575 Castro,” by Jenni Olson. And HRC is installing a seven-panel historical timeline about the city’s LGBT history. HRC is also planning to do joint advertising with “Under One Roof,” a non-profit retail store for people living with HIV/AIDS in the Bay area and the GLBT History Museum, the only GLBT museum in the country.

HRC’s newly relocated store is at 575 Castro Street, the historic home of Milk’s Castro Camera, where he worked, lived and organized the political campaigns that eventually led him to be the first openly gay man elected into a major public office in the state. Milk was a member of the city’s board of supervisors until he was murdered by a fellow supervisor. Find out more at… www.thetrevorproject.org www.lyric.org harveymilk.com milkfoundation.org www.glbthistory.org www.underoneroof.org

There is also a special kiosk with iPads promoting The Trevor Project. It is part of HRC’s larger Give Back campaign in San Francisco. HRC is also working with LYRIC, a youth services group; the Harvey

LGBTQ youth are nearly four times more likely to attempt suicide than their heterosexual peers. That’s why the Trevor Project’s 24-hour, 7-days-aweek hotline is so important. Youth call in for help on a number of topics, including depression, parent or family issues, coming out, loneliness, bullying, transgender issues, suicide, self-harm, sex, religion and spirituality, according to Kelli Peterman, The Trevor Project’s crisis services manager in New York.

Counselors — who are based in New York, Los Angeles and San Francisco — answer an estimated 40 to 170 calls per day. That’s about 2,500 calls per month. Or 30,000 per year. The holiday time can be particularly hard — and the school year, too. “We often see a spike in calls when school starts in the fall and then again when school is out for the summer,” Peterman said. “Both home and school can be uncomfortable and sometimes dangerous places for young LGBTQ people if they are not open, inclusive environments.” Peterman says many callers live in small, isolated areas and feel incredibly alone and unsup-

ported in their identities. But they also live in big cities. “Although we see a high call volume in mid-western and southern states, such as Texas and Utah, we also have many young people reaching out to us from larger cities that are generally open to all genders and sexualities,” she noted. The average caller is anywhere from 15 to 19 years of age. A high volume of callers are 17 years old. Calls can last anywhere from 15 minutes to more than an hour. Counselors took calls last year from youth who identified as follows: 52% male; 34% female, 10% trans/gender queer/questioning; 32% gay, 10% lesbian, 12% straight, 12% questioning, and 9% bisexual.

WWW.HRC.ORG

spring 2011

Josh Kilmer-Purcell (left), Brent Ridge and their goats visit Manhattan.

out on the farm “The last time I saw 4 a.m., I was tottering home in high heels and a matted wig, sipping from tiny bottles of Absolut I always kept in my bag for emergencies. Emergencies like ‘last call.’

photo: Bryan Smith

“Now, a little more than a decade later, I’m digging through the backpack I’ve propped up on the front fender of my pickup truck, counting baby bottles of fresh milk… .” And with that, author Josh Kilmer-Purcell — a New York ad man and former drag queen — launches into The Bucolic Plague: How Two Manhattanites Became Gentleman Farmers, his

new book about “The Fabulous Beekman Boys,” the little television docu-series that could. It’s the classic tale of big-city folk trying to make a go of it in the country. It’s also about the ups and downs of Kilmer-Purcell’s relationship with his beloved partner, Brent Ridge. Every weekend, Kilmer-Purcell, known for his New York Times bestseller, I Am Not Myself These Days, commutes from his Manhattan advertising job to work with Ridge, a former Martha Stewart executive, on their organic farm in a small rural community in upstate New York. Ridge lives and works there full-time. On a recent Saturday morning in a store in a Washington shopping mall, the couple stand in matching tall rubber boots before a big crowd, fielding questions about their series, now in its second season on Discovery’s Planet Green. What do people want to talk about? Goats, cheese, making soap without chemicals, Polka Spot the llama, the ghost in

The fabulous Beekman Boys’ New Book: on tv, in the muck and still together By Janice Hughes

the Beekman farmhouse and Martha Stewart. It’s a diverse crowd: women, men, young, old, straight, gay, families. A young boy in the second row can hardly sit still. He keeps raising his hand, asking questions about the goats. “The good news, since the TV show, is that all the goats are celebrity goats,” Kilmer-Purcell tells him. Both talk about losing their jobs in 2008 — about the same time they came across the 206-year-old farmhouse during a road trip to pick apples — and deciding just to go for it, and start a business of their own. “When we started, all we had was goat milk,” Ridge says. It’s stressful nearly all the time, both say. And, they admit, they’re surprised themselves at the success of the farm, their line of organic products and the continued on p. 27

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spring 2011

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ep. Barbara Lee, D-Calif., fought on the frontlines for HIV/AIDS awareness long before doing so in political life. In the 1980s, she protested with ACT UP, an early activist group, and just never looked back. Lee, who has a master’s in social work, pushed for HIV/AIDS funding and education while in the California state legislature in the 1990s and has been a leader on the issue ever since arriving on Capitol Hill a decade ago. In fact, Lee has been tested several times publicly for HIV, and has convinced several of her Hill colleagues to do so, too. Lee authored a bill that created the Global Fund to Fight HIV/AIDS, securing $15 billion for the battle. Her leadership and determination were pivotal in pushing the federal government to end its 22-year-old ban on travel and immigration to the United States by people who are HIVpositive. For the first time in more than 20 years, thanks in large part to Lee, the next International AIDS Conference will be held in the United States — in Washington in July 2012. She has also worked closely with the Human Rights Campaign on key measures affecting the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community, in particular, LGBT youth. One bill would advance legislation to eliminate funding for ineffective abstinence-only programs. Another bill would provide comprehensive sex education in public schools.

photo: Javier Galeano / Getty

Lee, whose district includes Oakland and Berkeley, often cites her work on the campaign of Rep. Shirley Chisholm, the country’s first black presidential candidate, as an early influence on her career. Equality magazine recently caught up with Lee. Excerpts follow. How can we help LGBT youth get information to protect themselves? Getting tested for HIV is critical for young people. It’s both a responsibility that we have to ourselves to know our status and get tested, and it’s a responsibility we have to our friends, our peers and our partner. I encourage people to get tested all

the time. I’ve gotten tested myself on many occasions, and I’ve also encouraged and gotten many of my colleagues in Congress to get tested. Also, we’ve got to get real about sex education in this country. We’ve spent nearly $1.5 billion on so-called abstinence-only-until-marriage programs over the last 15 years, with little to show for it. Not only are these programs ineffective, they fail to speak to the needs and realities facing our LGBT youth.

on sex ed, the Next global AIDS summit and why hiv/aids funding simply can’t be cut By Andrea Levario

What is it that people don’t get about the need for HIV/AIDS funding? By and large, people understand and agree that HIV/ AIDS is still an important public health issue. … I think people just don’t understand that to truly tackle the disease, however, we’ve got to think beyond the disease, and that necessitates dealing with the context of how HIV spreads and thrives. To really fight HIV successfully, you have to fight the disease and its symptoms, but you’ve also got to fight stigma and discrimination, you’ve got to fight poverty and homelessness, you’ve got to fight for equality — both in terms of human rights and economic opportunity… . But getting the funds we need now is a particular challenge in this economy and with this fervor to cut federal spending. Let’s be clear: The states are in a huge hole, California especially. continued on p. 27

WWW.HRC.ORG

spring 2011

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Ted Olson con’t from p. 9 On teaming up with a lawyer from the other side of the political spectrum. What it did for us is allow us to go to the American people and say that this is not about Republicans or conservatives or the left or right, it is about America. It’s about the Constitution. “Listen to us. If we can come together, you can come together.” And that’s been the reaction of people: “Oh! Ted Olson and David Boies. Let’s listen to what they have to say.” It gives us an audience anytime we want, to be anywhere, to talk to people. Our job is not just to win this case in court, our job is to win this case in court and in the arena of public opinion.

On what was once a felony: interracial marriage. In 1967, … the U.S. Supreme Court decided that interracial couples could get married — that was prohibited in the Constitution in 14 states in 1967. I was already out of law school in 1967. Our president’s parents could not have been married legally in Virginia. It would have been a felony. It’s not very long ago. So the Supreme Court decided that that was unconstitutional, and they did it unanimously. And now we think, “Was that really in our state’s constitution? That’s crazy.” You talk to a young person today and they say, “Nah. That’s not true.” That’s what it’s going to be like in respect to marrying individuals of the same sex.

“So we’ve got to be smart — we’ve got to invest upfront in prevention, and understand that treatment in and of itself is also prevention.” Barbara Lee con’t from p. 23 Cutting funding for HIV/AIDS programs will only delay lifesaving treatment of people living with HIV, increase the number of late diagnoses, and lead to poor health outcomes and higher costs to the healthcare system. So we’ve got to be smart — we’ve got to invest upfront in prevention, and understand that treatment in and of itself is also prevention. Last summer, President Obama released the country’s first-ever roadmap to address HIV/ AIDS. It has a focus on high-risk populations, including communities of color and men who have sex with men. I’m encouraged by the president’s National HIV/AIDS Strategy. Frankly, it’s about time that we’ve developed one for the United States after almost 30 years since the beginning of this epidemic. I appreciate its goals to cut HIV transmission by focusing on intensifying targeted, effective, evidence-based prevention efforts in communities that are most vulnerable or impacted. Of course, this will mean that some funds will need to be shifted to focus on those who are most in need. But by better understanding local epidemics and targeting funding, we can maximize the impact of our dollars. I also appreciate that the National HIV/AIDS Strategy highlights the need to reduce HIVrelated health disparities and health inequities.

Communities of color, particularly young gay men of color, really need additional help and support to combat this epidemic. I’m also glad to see that … plans released by the administration in February provide a robust framework to carry out the strategy. These plans, along with the administration’s request to increase domestic HIV/AIDS funding by $219 million this year, will help start us off on the right path. But we’ve got to follow through and make sure that we really provide the funding necessary to fully implement the strategy, eliminate waiting lists for essential AIDS treatment through the AIDS Drug Assistance Program and ensure that we significantly increase funding for the Minority AIDS Initiative. You’ve been the lone congressional representative attending the International AIDS Conference for years. Finally, it will be held again in the United States — in Washington in July 2012. It’s a tremendous opportunity to engage Congress and the federal government, and really to put the world spotlight on our response to this global pandemic … what we are doing in implementing the National HIV/AIDS Strategy at home and how we are meeting our commitments to our partner countries abroad.

Levario is HRC’s senior public policy advocate.

“For a lot of our viewers, it has been very eye-opening … now they believe what HRC has been saying all along — ‘our relationship is just like theirs.’”

Beekman Boys con’t from p. 21 show, which has a cult-like following; Martha Stewart, Alec Baldwin, Armistead Maupin, food pioneer Alice Waters, among others, are fans. Most importantly, the couple says, they’ve learned an awful lot: how hard farming is, how supportive small, rural communities can be and why the organic movement is so important. All of their products, in fact, are made within a 10mile radius of the farm. They’ve also learned a lot about their relationship. “If anything, the show has brought us closer together,” Kilmer-Purcell tells the audience. And they both smile. They just celebrated their eleventh anniversary. “The Fabulous Beekman Boys” is the first show in the country to focus on a real-life gay couple in a long-term relationship. At least once a day, they get an e-mail from someone saying how the show has helped them better understand gay relationships, they told Equality in an interview. “For a lot of our viewers, it has been very eye-opening … now they believe what HRC has been saying all along — our relationship is just like theirs.” The couple, who are HRC supporters, attended both the national and New York gala dinners. What’s up next? A cookbook in the fall — with “quite possibly the best mac and cheese that you will ever try,” they say. “Destined to become a family favorite.”

WWW.HRC.ORG

spring 2011

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The Wolstein Center Co-Chairs: Michael Smithson & Alana Jochum cleveland.hrc.org/dinner

www.hrcboston.org

To buy tickets for HRC Gala Events, please contact Box Office Tickets, 800-494-8497, or www.hrc.org/boxoffice.

Concierge Travel Cox Enterprises Dell Goldman Sachs & Company ibm MetLife Morgan Stanley Orbitz Paul Hastings PWC Replacements Ltd. Shell Starbucks TD Ameritrade TD Bank Tylenol PM

WHAT’S

YOUR

Legacy

The HRC Equality Circle was established to recognize individuals who have created gifts to the Human Rights Campaign or the Human Rights Campaign Foundation through their estate planning. By making a gift in this way, members demonstrate their long-term commitment to the mission of the Human Rights Campaign and the Human Rights Campaign Foundation.

Waste Management

Please join the

Current as of 4/1/2011

hundreds of other Equality Circle

foundation partners BBVA Compass Foundation The Black Tie Dinner, Inc. David Bohnett Foundation E. Rhodes and Leona B. Carpenter Foundation

members who want to

• Simple bequest in a will

establish their legacy

• Life insurance

of ensuring the future

• Charitable remainder trusts

of LGBT equality.

• Retained life estate

caesars Foundation John Burton Harter Charitable Trust John C. Kish Foundation Kellogg’s Corporate Citizenship fund MetLife

Some of the ways to give as a member of the HRC Equality Circle include:

for more information, visit

www.hrc.org/estateplanning

• Gifts of Heritage partnership with the National Trust for Historic Preservation

Microsoft Corporation The Morningstar Foundation Pfizer Charles and Lynn Schusterman Family Foundation Shulman Family Foundation UPS Foundation Wells Fargo Foundation

Current as of 5/1/2011

EQUALITY CIRCLE ENSURING THE FUTURE for LGBT EQUALITY

For more information about making a planned gift, please contact:

Timothy L. Mahoney, Director for Estate Planning timothy.mahoney@hrc.org or 202-216-1563

photos: Rachael Jane for HRC

up close Kansas City, Mo. — Ugandan Moses Kushaba and Rev. Cindi Love (below), of the Human Rights Campaign’s Religion Council, dropped off petitions with nearly 70,000 signatures at the church of fundamentalist pastor Lou

EQUALITY spring 2011

Engle this spring, urging him to come to the table to talk about his anti-LGBT work in Africa. Kushaba, who left Uganda in fear of his life because he is gay, traveled with Love and HRC’s Joanna Blotner to Engle’s International House of Prayer in Kansas City. Their goal was to try to start a dialogue with Engle, who has called LGBT people a threat to Uganda.

In a nationwide alert, HRC urged its members and supporters to sign the petition calling for the dialogue. HRC is working closely with fellow civil rights organization Soulforce, headed by Rev. Love, on the effort. “Homosexuality” is illegal in Uganda and can carry a prison term of 14 to 25 years. Thanks to international pressure, a measure was shelved this spring that would have made homosexuality a capital crime.

American Airlines is proud to support the community that supports us. That’s why we’re the ﬁrst and only airline to score 100% on the HRC’s Corporate Equality Index every year since 2001.

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Responsibility. Diversity. Community. CHASE IS PROUD TO BE AN HRC NATIONAL CORPORATE SPONSOR.

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