Tuxedo Choices for Your Wedding Day There are many grooms-to-be who leave choosing their wedding day attire to the last minute. After all, it’s something that doesn’t require much thought at all, right? Actually, choosing your attire requires careful consideration of several variables. As such, many men are intimidated by the process, another reason for procrastination. However, acquiring a few pointers will help make the process easier if you have limited experience with wedding day attire. It’s first important to consider the style of your wedding. What time is it being held? What is the size of the wedding party and the number of attendants? Will it be held in a church with a reception at a fancy catering hall, or is it a more laid-back affair at a park or on the beach? All of these questions will help determine the formality of the event. Your wardrobe choices should coincide with this level of formality. Tuxedos are often the attire of choice for weddings that are moderately or ultra formal. A tuxedo with a bow tie and tails is a very formal look. For the majority of weddings a tuxedo without tails, with a matching vest and regular tie, will be adequate for the groom and groomsmen. On some occasions, especially casual weddings, grooms choose to wear a sports jacket and slacks rather than a tuxedo. Tuxedoes are flattering for most men, especially when a black tuxedo is chosen. Black is slimming, and simply slipping into a tuxedo can enable anyone to look sophisticated. Working with a tuxedo shop representative can help you to find a tuxedo that fits well. These garments are available in a number of sizes, but a reputable shop will make minor alterations to ensure a perfect fit. You want to be sure there is no pulling in the jacket and that the
pants are a good length. Also, shirt sleeve length is important (the cuffs should extend past the jacket a little bit), as well as the fit of the shirt collar. You want to be comfortable the entire duration of your wedding. Tuxedo jackets come in many
height so your body does not look overwhelmed by the jacket. Here are a few of the styles: * Cutaway jacket: This jacket is shorter in the front and tapers to one longer tail in the back. It is traditionally a formal daytime jacket.
A tuxedo should coordinate with the formality and style of a wedding.
styles, with the basics being singleor double-breasted. Double-breasted jackets may add a little bulk, which should be avoided by heavy men or those who are very slim. Jackets also come in different lengths. Choose one that is proportionate to your
* Traditional tuxedo jacket: As mentioned, this can be single- or double-breasted and feature varied numbers of button closures. The lapels may also be varied. A peaked lapel forms a “V” at the collar and points upward. A notched lapel has
an indentation at the collar in the shape of a triangle. A shawl lapel has no indentation and smoothly curves around the neck. * Mandarin jacket: Mandarinstyle jackets do not have a lapel but a collar that stands straight up. There are six buttons along the front. It is worn with a mandarin-style shirt without a tie. * Long coat: The long coat is best worn by tall, broad-shouldered men and is traditional in colder weather. The coat extends beyond the fingertips of the wearer. * Dinner jacket: This is a variation on the regular tuxedo jacket, but it is usually ivory or white in color. This can set the groom apart from other members of the wedding party. Many grooms-to-be opt to rent their tuxedo instead of purchase one. Wedding experts recommend renting the attire three months before the wedding. All groomsmen should rent their tuxedos from the same shop for a uniform look. It is also customary to coordinate the tuxedos with the gowns bridesmaids will be wearing. One way to do so is with a similar colored tie, vest or cummerbund. Take a color swatch of one of the bridesmaids’ gowns with you to the tuxedo store for assistance with matching the look. Pick up the tuxedo a day or two before the wedding and try on every piece, including the shoes, to check for fit. This way you have time for an exchange if something is not right or to pick up a missing tie or cufflink, which is apt to happen. Rented tuxedoes usually need to be returned the day after the wedding or the next business day. Elect a member of the wedding party to handle tuxedo returns because you’re likely to be on your honeymoon at this point. BR091698
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Tips for a Toast to Remember
The wedding toast is an important responsibility, but one that isn’t as scary as it might seem to those who have never delivered one.
Being asked to be someone’s best man or maid of honor is an honor to be cherished. Often the best friend of the groom or bride, the best man and maid of honor often want to reciprocate the honor of their role with a toast that illustrates just how much they care for the bride or groom. But once the time comes to sit down and think about their toast, the best man or maid of honor are often in the dark. Giving a wedding toast, after all, is not an everyday event, and for many people it will
be a one-time experience, if they’re even asked at all. Though a certain amount of pressure comes with the responsibility of giving a toast, keeping a few ideas in mind when writing a toast will make the process go more smoothly. * Thank the guests. Thanking the guests for attending is a good way to break the ice. Be sure to thank the hosts as well. Traditionally, the hosts are the bride’s parents. However, thanks to the escalating costs of weddings, many are now financed by both the bride and groom’s parents, and oftentimes by the bride and groom themselves. Therefore, you can avoid any missteps and simply thank the parents of the bride and groom after thanking the guests for joining in the festivities. * Introduce yourself. While the bride and groom certainly know who you are, chances are many of the guests do not. Many weddings boast guest lists with more than 100 people, so introduce yourself at the beginning of your toast. When doing so, you can explain your relationship to the bride or groom (i.e., older/younger sibling, college roommate, etc.). * Keep things light. While jokes should remain appropriate (every wedding has kids in attendance), keeping the toast jovial is a good way to keep the festive mood of the day going. While it’s important
to get across how much you cherish being the best man or maid of honor, a jovial approach to doing so will be enjoyed by all, and your message will still come across to the bride and groom as well. * Add an anecdote. The best man or maid of honor no doubt have many funny anecdotes to tell about the bride or groom. Add a lighthearted anecdote that illustrates your relationship to the bride or groom and how much they mean to you. An older brother, for instnace, might tell a tale of the innocent joking around brothers do, while a
younger sister might spin a funny yarn about how she once used all of her older sister’s makeup. Just make sure the anecdote is appropriate for everyone in the audience. * Raise a glass, but do so after the toast, and not before. While everyone knows to raise a glass at the end of the toast, some best men or maids of honor raise one too many glasses before it’s time to give their toast. Don’t drink to excess before it’s time for you to give your toast, or you’ll risk being the talk of the reception for all the wrong reasons. BR101981
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Financial Tips for Cost-Conscious Couples In a recent survey released by Visa Inc., 88 percent of couples believed they overspent on some aspect of their wedding. Over the years, weddings have become a major financial commitment, in many instances ensuring a couple’s first task as man and wife will be paying off the mountain of bills they accrued to achieved their dream wedding. In today’s economic climate, the cost of weddings is even tougher to swallow, as both the domestic and global economy remains difficult to predict. Economic uncertainty has left many young couples fearful of making a big financial commitment to their weddings. But it’s still possible for couples to make the most of their wedding without landing themselves in heavy debt once the honeymoon is over and the bills must be paid. * Limit beverage availability. In the Visa survey, respondents felt they overspent more on food, drink and cake than any other aspect of their wedding. The bar tab can quickly add up at the end of the night, but couples can limit the bar expense by making on a few different types of drinks available. Offer just two or three drink options instead of a full bar. Couples can also consider a cash bar for mixed drinks to help lower the bar tab by the end of the night. * Switch from Saturday. Saturday weddings are not only the most popular, but also the most expensive. Couples with some flexibility can save money by moving their wedding to a Friday or Sunday. Couples
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who move their weddings to Friday often find they get to spend more time with their friends and families the following day, as guests are more inclined to stay in town an extra day than they are on Sunday afternoons following a wedding. * Forgo a traditional honeymoon. Seventeen percent of male respondents to the Visa survey felt they overspent on their honeymoon. While it’s certainly nice to fly off to the Caribbean and spend your first week as a married couple soaking up some sun, a more local getaway for a couple of days can be just as relaxing and save couples substantial amounts of money. Once the bills have been paid, couples can then enjoy a more traditional honeymoon, possibly in celebration of their first anniversary. * Limit the guest list. Inviting all friends and family members might be a nice gesture, but it’s also an expensive one. Cost-conscious couples can save a good deal of money by only inviting those friends and family members who are closest to them. * Order less extravagant floral arrangements. Floral arrangements for a wedding can prove very expensive. But couples can trim those costs using more greenery in the floral displays and ordering less expensive, seasonal flowers. When discussing arrangements with the florist, explain that the budget can only allow so much for flowers, and work together to find ways to add aesthetic appeal without breaking the bank. BR111297
Brides: Changing to Your Married Name After a bride says “I do” to a life with her new husband, she often says “I do” to a new last name. Whether she takes the name as a loving gesture, to make it more convenient when having kids, or simply to rid herself of an unappealing maiden name, changing her surname will require some steps to ensure the legality of a change in identity. Because a name change will require a copy of the marriage certificate -- something that isn’t often obtained until after the ceremony -- it’s best to wait until after you’ve returned from a honeymoon to change documentation. Also, in order to travel, you may require birth certificates, passports, a license, or another form of ID. It will be impossible to change all of those forms of identification before the wedding. Inconsistent documentation could cause hang-ups in the travel process. Additionally, you may be charged if you try to change your name on airline tickets after they’ve already been issued. Therefore, enjoy your maiden name a little longer
until the honeymoon bliss is over and it’s back to reality. Ready to get started? Here are most of the documents you’ll need to change as you take on your new married name. 1. Social Security Card: If you are a U.S. resident, you will need to go to your local social security office, or download a form from the IRS Web site to apply for a change of name on your social security card. It takes approximately 10 days after the application is received for the IRS to update the records. In Canada you will need to change your Social Insurance Number card. 2. Drivers license: In order to change your drivers license and vehicle registration, you’ll likely have to visit the Department of Motor Vehicles, or whatever the agency is called in your area. You will need several forms of identification, two of which will be your marriage certificate proving change of name and your social security card. Also have your old drivers license with you.
3. Passport: Contact the Passport Agency to update your name on your passport. You may or may not be charged for the new issue depending upon how long it’s been since you applied for a passport. 4. Insurance policies: If you have health insurance, life insurance, or a 401(k) plan, you should communicate your change of name to the respective companies. 5. Bank accounts: Guests will likely issue gift checks in your married name or as a couple. It helps to have an account available in which to deposit those checks. You can choose to merge your banking accounts once married, or open up a joint account with your new name.
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How to Say, ‘Thank You’ It is customary for the bride- and groomto-be to show their gratitude to all of the people who will make their wedding day special. Weddings today feature people who have roles that go beyond the traditional, like interior decorators and musical soloists. It’s important to remember to thank everyone who contributes to the celebration. Thank-you gifts should be something thoughtful and enduring. Avoid fad or gag gifts. These gifts should be presented at a prewedding occasion. It’s customarily done at the rehearsal dinner. Crafting personalized remarks is a nice way to call attention to the unique tasks of each wedding participant. Don’t simply pass the gifts out in one fell swoop. This way the gift will have more meaning through a personal message. Don’t let thank-you gifts be forgotten. Start thinking of gift ideas early on and plan for any extra time for engraving or other personalization. Groomsmen When selecting gifts for groomsmen, think about a gift they would like but probably wouldn’t buy themselves. This can be cuff links, a fine watch, money clip, or a highquality wallet. Feel free to splurge a little more on the best man. Bridesmaids Traditional gifts for bridesmaids are different types of jewelry. Monogrammed stationery, a spa treatment, or another pampering session. As you have with the best man, feel free to bestow a little more thanks on the maid of honor with a more lavish gift. Younger bridal
party members can get a similar gift, but one in scale with their ages. Clergy Many couples choose to make a financial donation to their house of worship. Additional tipping or monetary gifts for musicians, alter boys/girls, etc. can also be a thoughtful gesture. A donation toward an officiant’s vestments may also be appreciated. Parents of the Bride and Groom The couple may choose to bestow a gift on their parents, which
can be especially meaningful if the parents are taking care of the financial responsibility of the wedding. Jewelry or fine gifts in similar scope to that of the bridal party are good ideas. Consider engraved picture frames that can house a wedding portrait down the road. Others Readers, soloists, ushers, etc. can be given a small token of your appreciation, like a gift card or a personalized memento. BR101976 Beautiful, Affordable Sparkle & Glitter for Brides & Wedding Parties
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6. Employer: Have your employer change your name in their records and update payroll and any other services. You will also want to update e-mail stationery to reflect your new name and have your IT director change your information for computer logins and e-mail addresses. A courtesy e-mail to clients will fill them in on your name change. 7. Credit card & utility companies: Notify these companies of a change of name. Some may require written documentation to complete the change. 8. Wills and other legal contracts: Have legal documents amended to feature your updated name. You may want to change your beneficiary to your husband. BR101977
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Responsibilities of the Wedding Party As weddings have become less regimented and more expensive, the traditional bridal party is often pared down to a best man and a bridesmaid or two. Their roles, however, have remained constant through the years. Whether the wedding you’ve got in mind is large or small, formal or casual, conventional or original, it’s helpful to have a sense of the roles that bridal party members have played through the years. * Maid of Honor -- Usually the closest friend of the bride and sometimes a relative. A married, divorced, widowed, or older woman might be called the matron of honor. She assists with the details of the wedding plans, like shopping for the bridal gown, addressing invitations and choosing flowers. She arranges the bridal shower in conjunction with the bride’s family, is in charge of coordinating the bridesmaids and organizing fittings, and typically signs the couple’s certificate of marriage
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or wedding license as a legal witness. At the reception, she should stand immediately after the groom in the receiving line. * Best Man -- Commonly the groom’s best friend, relative or not, the best man is in charge of instructing the ushers and coordinating the groom’s transportation to the ceremony. He usually holds the rings until the ceremony and will also sign the marriage certificate as a legal witness. At the reception, he holds a place of honor, escorting the maid of honor in the receiving line and in all other wedding party activities. He’s also the toastmaster, offering the first toast to the couple. * Bridesmaids and Ushers -- Typically friends or relatives of the bride, bridesmaids may be asked to coordinate special details during the ceremony preparations or at the reception, and assist the bride and the maid of honor. Ushers (sometimes also known as groomsmen) should be prepared for an early arrival at the ceremony to escort female
guests to their seats. During the ceremony, they will escort the bridesmaids down the aisle. They may also be asked to coordinate the guests’ trip from the ceremony to the reception as well as assist the groom and the best man. * Flower Girl and Ring Bearer -- The flower girl carries a basket of flower petals to sprinkle down the aisle, or flowers to be passed out to the women seated near the aisle. The ring bearer may either escort the flower girl down the aisle, or follow her, with the rings on a pillow. * Father of the Bride -- His most conspicuous duty is giving away the bride at the ceremony. He might also fulfill numerous rolls, such as coordinating transportation, dancing and toasting. Traditionally, he and the mother of the bride have paid for the wedding and reception but today it is common for expenses to be shared by both families along with the bride and groom themselves. BR101928
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Capture Great Wedding Day Photo Memories
While couples about to get married may differ with respect to personal style or what season in which to hold their wedding, most agree that having photo memories of their wedding is essential. That’s why a photographer is such an important part of the wedding planning process. Although professional wedding portraits and albums are a key component to good memories, candid shots from you -- the family and friends who attend the wedding -- are some of the most cherished photos a couple can have. Here are some tips for capturing all the incredible moments of this important day. * Familiarize yourself with the camera: Take some time to learn
the ins and outs of your camera before you’re called upon to take pictures of the wedding. Learn the best way to zoom and focus, and find out if your camera has any special features, such as black and white capabilities or panoramic views. Also, don’t forget to charge or replace the batteries. For those with digital memory cards, purchase a new one with plenty of space so you can freely snap away. * Tell a story: Start taking pictures before the wedding even occurs. If you’re a friend or a family member, capture the special events leading up to the wedding, such as dress fittings, choosing wedding rings, the bridal shower, or shots of
Wedding guests snapping pictures can fill in additional wedding memories with great photos.
the bachelor party. This way the photos can be put together to tell
the entire story of the wedding, culminating with the big day. * Go for the close-up: Stand no more than 4 to 6 feet from your subjects when snapping a picture. You want to be sure the couple is the central focus of the picture, not the distracting background items. * Shoot candid shots: Posed pictures have their place, but candid shots can really capture the mood and excitement of the day. Snap away while everyone is dancing, when the couple isn’t looking, or if you see a special moment that others may not be aware of. * Include pictures of party participants: The couple will have plenty of images of them-
selves and their wedding party in a photographer’s album. What they may be missing are the people who actually attended the wedding. Be sure to take plenty of pictures of the people who came together to share in this special day. * Special surprise: Thanks to the immediate gratification that digital cameras provide, you can treat the happy couple to a preview of their wedding pictures even before the big day has ended. Use the time between the wedding ceremony and reception to have a few prints of the nuptials printed. Place them in a photo album and give this gift to the couple at the reception. BR091745
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Treat Guests to an ‘Inviting’ Message There are infinite opportunities for uniqueness with wedding invitations, which is why selecting the right invitation is often one of the most confusing aspects of planning a wedding. Invitations are usually your first line of communication regarding the upcoming celebration, and they typically set the tone of the affair and what guests should expect. Wedding etiquette experts also say that gift-giving is subject to influence by the type of invitation received. Guests also tend to determine what they will wear to the wedding depending upon the invitation. All of these perceptions about the wedding are made even before guests read the first line of sentiment on the invitation itself. With so much inferred meaning placed on invitations, it’s no wonder you may be nervous about choosing and sending out invitations. Here are some pointers so you’ll make the right decisions. There are many personalization options at your disposal with wedding invitations. You’ll be able to choose the texture, color and shape of the paper, as well as the
font and ink color in many cases. These selections can be combined with other embellishments, such as envelope linings, extra layers of paper, vellum accents, ribbons, and calligraphy styles. You may also be able to select a monogram or artwork to further embellish the invitation. If your wedding will be a formal affair, choose a classic style invitation that will reflect the formalness of the affair. If your wedding will be casual, choose a design and font that expresses that feeling. Here are some other tips to consider: * Wait until you have definite times and locations for the ceremony and reception before submitting any wording to the invitation company. * Type out the wording you prefer with a word-processing program on your computer. Run a spell-check and print it out and read it over several times. This will cut down on the chances for error once the wording is sent for printing. * To know how many invitations to order, take the fore-
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casted number of guests and divide that number by two. Then add 25 to 30 additional invitations for any single guests you may be inviting as well as to have extras on hand in case you make a mistake addressing the invitation. So if you are inviting 150 people (assuming most will come as couples), order 100 invitations. * Many people opt to print out addresses on the invitation envelope themselves. While home printers and software packages have certainly advanced, it may be difficult to match the font and style of your invitation. Furthermore, while hand-addressing invitations is more time-consuming, it adds a personalized touch and shows you care about those invited. * Make sure you bring an invitation to the post office to be weighed so you can determine how much postage you will need. Mail them 4 to 6 weeks before the wedding to allow for response time. It’s customary to enclose a response card with postage already applied so guests can simply drop their RSVP in the mail. BR091747
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