The Jerry Duncan Show Interviews Fox TV Host Tucker Carlson

from Humor Times, April 2023, 32nd Anniversary Issue

Crowd Sourced

Wherein our intrepid talk radio show host interviews Fox TV Host Tucker Carlson.

PRESIDENT JOE BIDEN: Folks. “The Big Lie” himself Fucker Charlatan. I mean Friar Tuck. Is it Tummy Tuck? Shucks, Tucker Carlson.

out negative. Funny though, the test did show I’m part weasel.

JERRY: You’ve had your show since 2016. Number one rating in TV talk news. What do you attribute to your success?

TUCKER: Simple. Fox News is “fair and balanced.”

JERRY: (laughs) I get it. That’s a joke.

TUCKER: Did I say something funny?

JERRY: And speaking of jokes. I can’t believe you worked for MSNBC, CNN and PBS.

TUCKER: True. I had my own shows and participated in panel discussions on hot topics as a conservative.

JERRY: 88. And she doesn’t like weasels.

TUCKER: Let me explain my position. If a person reaches 88 years old, they are entitled to social security. Everyone else is on their own. Hey, I need money for retirement. I can’t live off a $20 million dollar pension if we give people over 62 years old social security.

JERRY: Let’s look at the things you pulled out of your ass over the years. You support tax cuts for welfare, child care, food stamps, and other Federal assistance programs including Pell Grants. All of which help the needy.

TUCKER: What are Pell Grants?

JERRY: The Feds subsidize college tuition for poor kids.

TUCKER: Yep. Then I’m against it.

ANNOUNCER: Live from under a rock in your backyard, it’s The Jerry Duncan Show.

JERRY DUNCAN: Good morning listeners nationwide. Is it a good morning? No, it’s not. Today on the show my guest is Fox TV host of Tucker Carlson Tonight…Tucker Carlson.

TUCKER CARLSON: Hello Jerry.

JERRY: Are you sure you’re not the grown up Eddie Munster from The Munsters TV show?

TUCKER: Yes. My DNA test turned

JERRY: How could you be on liberal leaning networks? Conservatives have no compassion for the middle class and poor.

TUCKER: C’mon. Give me an example.

JERRY: Okay. My aunt is on social security. Gets $1,200 a month from the Feds and lives in a trailer. And Republicans want to take that away from her.

TUCKER: The trailer?

JERRY: No numb nuts, her social security.

TUCKER: How old is your aunt?

JERRY: If the rich don’t pay their fair share of taxes, then what’s your solution to reduce the deficit?

TUCKER: Simple. We eliminate the capital gains tax, corporate income tax, and the estate tax for wealthy folks like me. It will employ more people.

JERRY: We already have the lowest unemployment ever under Joe Biden. And he’s making the wealthy pay taxes. Sorry, mop head. That doesn’t fly.

TUCKER: Let me throw out some other convoluted logic.

JERRY: No. Let’ talk about your lies on the air about a stolen election in 2020. The owner of Fox News, your boss Rupert Murdoch testified under oath to a grand jury that the election was not stolen. That the Dominion voting machines were accurate. Your response?

TUCKER: The man is senile. He coughs, farts, sneezes and pees at the same time. Just ask his ex-wives.

JERRY: Not so fast. You showed selective footage on your show from the January 6, 2021 insurrection claiming the Trump thugs were peacefully taking a tour of the capitol. That no one was hurt. What we all witnessed on TV in real time was staged by the FBI.

TUCKER: Just sayin’

JERRY: 140 police officers were injured. 5 people died. All because Trump wouldn’t accept the results of the election. We have text messages that you didn’t believe Trump.

TUCKER: Please, don’t bring that up. I could lose my listeners!

JERRY: You said about the Trumpster, “I hate him passionately.” Senator Lindsey Graham said that it was sad to see you go off the rails about the insurrection. Senator Thom Tillis called your account bullshit. There were even more Republicans who blasted you including Senator Mitch McConnell.

TUCKER: Who cares? Congressman George Santos believes me. Would he lie?

JERRY: You’re one and done on my show, Tucker. Remember the words of Confucius who said, “Man who go to bed with itchy butt wake up with sticky fingers.” Tucker Carlson everyone. See you tomorrow.

The Jerry Duncan Show (c) Dean B. Kaner

Public Banks

North Dakota has the only state-owned bank in the nation. Advocates say it’s a model for getting state tax money invested in communities...

What public bank campaigners want... is a world with a more decentralized financial sector, with more local lenders they can more easily hold accountable for meeting real human needs, like affordable housing and living wage jobs, thriving small business, affordable child care and accessible health care....

“One of the most-heard talking points against a public bank is it will hurt local banks,” Wu says. “But it’s the exact opposite—we’ve seen it in action.”

More: yesmagazine.org/issue/world-we-want/2020/02/19/ public-bank-north-dakota and is out of a job. and don’t understand. and Dilbert will move on... to who knows where?