ScrewAttack Magazine Issue # 11

Price - FREE $$$$ - v.2.2.1

December 2011 - No 11

THE STAFF ► Stuttering Craig & Woodyman Interview by Hybrid Rain. ► Game Previews by g1 MadHero15 and g1 IceSpikes. ► Assassin’s Creed Revelations and Need for Speed The Run Reviews by ScrewAttack Staff.

► Battlefield 3 Review by g1 Cyrax and g1 Hybrid Rain. ► Call of Duty Modern Warfare 3 Review by g1 ReturnofFable

EDITORIAL Happy Holidays and Happy New Year!

and Hybrid Rain.

► Batman Arkham City Review by g1 IceSpikes. ► The Legend of Zelda Skyward Sword Review by ► ► ► ► ► ► ► ► ► ► ► ► ► ►

g1 The Stickman.

Super Mario 3D Land Review by g1 DonAngel.

Sonic Generations Review by g1 SideSmash.

Spyro 2: Ripto’s Rage Review by g1 TWISTEDmerc.

Katamari Damacy Review by g1 SideSmash.

The End is Nigh? Looking Forward at Nintendo’s Future by g1 Cyrax.

Mortal Monday MK9 Season Pass by g1 digitaldebaser.

Anime Review Astarotte No Omocha by g1 Madhog thy Master.

Online Gaming and I Don’t Seem to Get Along by g1 DarthNocturnal.

Sentimental Intern: When We Used Imagination to Hype Games by Shaun McLane.

Analyzing A Rumor: Half-Life 3 Achievements by g1 REVULSIVE. Elmo’s Rants: Nightmare on Elmo Street by g1 Elmo 3000.

Whitly Reviews “Genesis of Evil”, AKA Episode 23 of Digimon: Zero-Two by g1 Whitly.

Joeshadowman’s Top Six Swords of Gaming by g1 Joeshadowman The Legend of Zelda El Rey comic by http://comiz-inc.deviantart.com/ With the art work from: DestructorV2, g1 RedAce135, Scrotumnose, Kenpeyddox, Psyguy and Zoemoss.

This month’s Front Page was done by: http://elsevilla.deviantart.com/

Articles in this Unofficial Magazine are property of the right g1 authors and the opinions expressed in this magazine do not reflect ScrewAttack’s. Images, art work or any other material used in the publishing of this digital magazine is property of the right authors.

This is a FREE and DIGITAL Magazine DO NOT PAY FOR IT. This unofficial magazine is publish for ScrewAttack Entertainment LLC. www.screwattack.com

Wow, it has 2011 is over people and coming soon... DOOMSDAY!!! for some of you but for me is just another year, although hypothetically if it was really the last year of your existence, would you regret something you didn’t do during this last few years?

Places to go, people to meet, relationships and personal projects? I think mine would be to not have worked with ScrewAttack on the production of a show or even have the opportunity to work with ScrewAttack, no joke there. Still there is a full year to do what you want and maybe having in mind that this is really the last year to live, it would impulse a lot of you to do crazy stuff, good just please don’t give away your personal belongings or even your money to strangers...

As for me on this last day of the year I have to say that it was a pleasure t have work with you guys, giving laughs and entertainment was amazing and for the next year I hope I can still keep this small part of entertainment to all of you until well, it finally ends. So help me God and the Universe to keep me with good health and mentally sane for some awesome fun.

So I wish you al at ScrewAttack, The Community and your families, friends and mascots to have a Happy New Year and wish you success on everything you do!

2011 was a blast... so 2012 will be, cheers!

Hybrid Rain Gerardo Mejia

ScrewAttack Logo is property of ScrewAttack Entertainment LLC. Issue #11 - December 2011 Design, direction, construction, editing, production and publishing by Gerardo Andres Mejia Torres - g1 Hybrid Rain Bogotá, Colombia.

Email: HybridRainRL@gmail.com Twitter: https://twitter.com/HybridRain Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/HybridRain Google+: http://Gplus.to/HybridRain ScrewAttack Magazine © 2011 All Rights Reserved.

The ScrewAttack Bolt!

Every month in the front page I hide a small ScrewAttack Bolt so you can find it, the lucky one:

g1 JETZ.acx YOU ARE WINNER! Keep Hunting!

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The Interrogation

Stuttering Craig ...........................................................................................06 g1 of the Year: Woodyman .......................................................................12

Game Previews ..................................................................18 Reviews

Assassin’s Creed Revelations .............................................................22 Need for Speed The Run ..........................................................................28 Battlefield 3 ...................................................................................................32 Call of Duty Modern Warfare 3 ............................................................42 Batman Arkham City .................................................................................54 The Legend of Zelda Skyward Sword ................................................60 Super Mario 3D Land .................................................................................68 Sonic Generations ......................................................................................74 Spyro 2: Ripto’s Rage ................................................................................82 Katamari Damacy .......................................................................................86

The Articles

The End is Nigh? Looking Forward at Nintendo’s Future .......110 Mortal Monday MK9 Season Pass ....................................................112 Anime Review Astarotte No Omocha ..............................................116 Online Gaming and I Don’t Seem to Get Along ...........................120 Sentimental Intern: When We Used Imagination to Hype Games ..............................124 Analyzing A Rumor: Half-Life 3 Achievements ...........................126 Elmo’s Rants: Nightmare on Elmo Street ......................................130 Whitly Reviews “Genesis of Evil” AKA Episode 23 of Digimon: Zero-Two- .........................................136 Joeshadowman’s Top Six Swords of Gaming .............................144

Calendar ........................................................................................152 Last Page ......................................................................................154

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THE INTERROGATION Stuttering Craig The man behind the hat, behind the madness, behind ScrewAttack

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What’s your real name and where are you from?

Craig Skistmas. The Dallas area.

What’s your gaming preference?

Platformers, Fighters and anything that’s fast paced. Not so much into the RPGs. What do you think about the gaming industry today?

I think that the internet has speed things up so fast that it’s now hard to keep track with what’s going on. Overall it’s in good shape though, despite what the internet wants to tell you.

In the gaming industry, do you admire someone and why?

I admire anyone who’s fallowing their dreams. Seth Killian at Capcom comes to mind. I think it’s outstanding that he’s been passionate about fighting games his entire life and followed his passion to be one of their main minds behind fighting games and the fighting game community.

As a kid, what was your first experience with video games and how did this grow into you?

You played Slamball? a big surprise for many of us, would you like to tell us why you were interested in this sport?

What was your motive, inspiration and process to join with Tom to form ScrewAttack from the beginning?

I remember playing the original Super Mario Bros. on a giant ass tube TV on channel 3 pretty vividly but my VERY first experience was with an Intellivision.

Games were just that - games and I enjoyed them. I’d like to think I still use that mantra when it comes to games today. Despite them being a passion for me at the end of the day, they are games.

I think two things interested me about it - my passion for NBA Jam and the fact that I thought the playing field was level for dudes that only had so much athleticism. Don’t get me wrong, there are some freak athletes who play(ed) but having the trampoline there really allowed me to play above the rim with everyone else. That was definitely the X Factor for me.

I just finished up school and Tom still had a little bit to go. I really had two things that I wanted to do - scrape my way up the sports play-by-play/announcer totem poll and hope to maybe get a job in a small town calling games for a tiny minor league sports team or work for myself and not have to worry about wearing a suit and tie everyday.

The decision was pretty simple. I’d like

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This man... created a freaking Holiday! I’m death serious... ► Día de Huevos is one of the most ball breaking experience (no pun intended) that anyone on the world will experienced... if they want... to think that I’m somewhat of a risk taker which, I feel, has been mirrored in the way ScrewAttack has developed over the last 6 years. We’re not afraid to take risks and do things differently even if others have no idea what or why we’re doing them. We believe in us and that’s the most important thing.

What major challenges and problems did you face at the beginning? How did you handle them?

Geeze, there was a lot. I think it’s well chronicled that Tom and I had some major differences in working philosophies and that’s pretty tough when you’re supposed to be working with someone. Outside of that, some of the largest problems come with just setting up the actual business and doing it the right way.

Real early on an old friend named Daimi helped me out tremendously in getting things set up because I had no idea what I was doing. Literally every day - even to this day - I learn something new.

What were you expecting from all this and did it fill your expectations?

Well I always wanted ScrewAttack to be special. I think that we’ve done a great job carving our own niche and really making a name for not only ourselves but a ton of other folks throughout the years.

Now and days theres a lot of sites that are “like ScrewAttack” but we were and are the originals and I’m very proud of that.

How did you contact interns for working at ScrewAttack at the beginning?

I knew we would need a lot of help moving and I was only looking for one person to help out and my first thought was to contact my old high school because I knew they had a tech problem there. Luckily the teacher allowed me into her classroom to speak and let the kids know what I was looking for and out of that we found Ben, Jose, Mickey and later Nick.

What’s your role at ScrewAttack?

I oversee everything on a day-to-day basis. Business, staff, scripts, etc. Whatever needs to be done, I’m probably gonna be the guy who’s doing it. When you’re a small business that’s how it works.

What do you consider to be ScrewAttack’s most important assets?

My staff and the g1 community bar none.

People STILL think that you only play video games all day, could you tell us how is a working day at the office?

That’s both hilarious and insulting at the same time ;) Honestly, the work day most of the time is fairly quiet.

The crew really buckles down and does what needs to get done whether it’s creating videos, writing news, uploading trailers, promoting community content.

At the end of the day, there really is a TON to do to maintain ScrewAttack on a day-to-day basis.

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During all this years, what has been the most memorable moment at ScrewAttack for you?

There’s a ton and they’re probably the one’s people remember most as well.

Between getting that dude arrested at the Smash launch, Jose running the snow, Stu snorting a chicken nugget, Ben nearly dying, unveiling Sonic 4 as the mystery game for IMoG at SGC and countless more I have PLENTY of stories to share and show my kids and grandkids later in life.

What do you see ahead for ScrewAttack and the community in the next five years?

That’s tough to say because if you would have asked me the same thing 5 years ago I would have told you something totally different than what actually happened. Did I ever think we’d own a game store, create a video game or produce our own convention? No way.

It all came in stride. I would expect a lot more excitement though. 2012 is going to be a big year for us with surely some big announcements along the way.

Going more into your personal life, congratulations for your baby, How do you feel about becoming a father in the following months?

Nerve wracking. I’m still trying to get my head wrapped around it but I’m very excited. She’ll be coming into a very loving home and at the end of the day my wife and I are going to do whatever needs to be done to make sure our kiddo’s the best taken care of kiddo in the world :) While your daughter is growing up, how or would you expose her to Video Games?

I’d love for games to be a big part of her life but more than anything I want her to be well-rounded. I don’t want to

force anything on her and allow her to make her own decisions. Ultimately, if her parents have done a good job she’ll make the right decisions. Will I have suggestions for her as to why she should play Street Fighter? absolutely. But I’m not going to make her play it if she doesn’t want to. I’m sure she’ll see that Daddy enjoys it and that will probably peak her interest.

What is the most important goal in your life right now?

Live a balanced life.

Any last words to the g1 community?

Thanks so much for your support over the years. You guys truly do make ScrewAttack what it is and everyone at the HQ realizes that. We are honored that you allow us to do what we do for you guys. If you keep supporting us, we’ll be here :)

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THE INTERROGATION g1 of the year 2011 Woodyman Woodyman is our g1 of the year 2011, the community chose him for his commitment to keep the g1 spotlight alive and supporting the g1’s with their features.

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First of all thanks for having this interview with me Woodyman, any comment before starting?

You’re quite welcome HybridRain, you are a fantastic g1 and I’m honored that you want to interview me for the magazine. It’s actually my first interview, so I’ll try my best to answer your questions.

What is your real name and where are you from?

Unfortunately, I cannot reveal my real name due to my career. However, I go by the pseudonym Eric Vole and Woodyman online. I was born in Coppell, Texas and then moved to New York City at an early age, then moved up to Upstate New York even later. It’s the reason I’m a Cowboys fan when it comes to football, and a Yankees fan when it comes to baseball. Although, I have no idea how I became a Penguins fan when it comes to hockey… SPORTS! I do plan on moving back down south sometime in the future, maybe to Texas again or Florida. Also, I think that means I’m the first g1 of the year from the United States, which is pretty cool.

What’s your gaming preference?

Wow, that is a tricky question. I can’t say I’m purely a retro gamer, or a modern gamer. Nor can I say that I usually only play one genre because I tend to play most genres (except for MMOs and Strategy games and stuff like that).

I guess I could say that in the end, for me gaming is about fun. I do not care about the politics of a game, the physics, or the graphics. If I have fun playing a video game, then I’ll stick with it.

I suppose that’s why my gamer score is so low, and also why I don’t really like

games that are extremely difficult. To me video games are a fun diversion from the work I have to do in real life.

Yet, if I am getting mad at a game or extremely frustrated, then I’ll turn the game off because it’s no longer fun for me. So I can’t really say I prefer platformers, sports games, racers, or any other specific genre, I just prefer games that make me smile while I’m playing them.

URL for ScrewAttack in the description or I was just looking for more Nerd videos so then I stumbled onto ScrewAttack, watched all the vaults and Top 10s that they had, then I became addicted and haven’t left since.

How did you find out about ScrewAttack and its community?

During my sophomore year I started to work out a lot but I got bored listening to music all the time, so instead I downloaded the weekly SideScrollers and ones from the past to listen to. They kept me entertained, and showed me that all g1s were respected and listened to by the main staff at ScrewAttack.

Like a ton of other g1s, I found ScrewAttack through the Angry Video Game Nerd aka the Angry Nintendo Nerd. I was watching his Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles review and I think I saw the

I found out about the strength of this community through SideScrollers. I hate to admit this but when I was in college I was a Fatty McJiggleTits.

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The g1 of the year of 2011 g1 Woodyman. ► Not just for having the initiative of bringing back to life the g1 spotlight, g1 Woodyman was chosen by the g1’s to bare the title of g1 of the year, a title that represents responsibility, commitment, leadership and respect; the bases of the g1 community and its members.

What made you become a g1 and start sharing with us your opinions and blogs?

I became a g1 during the days of v3, g1 points, and Gamma Prime. However, I went by a different name then and wasn’t really active. I became active during v4 and donned the name Woodyman. I became a g1 and starting blogging for two reasons. The first reason was sheer boredom. I was in college, and found that I had a lot of spare time on my hands. I did fine in school, and had quite an active social life. However, I still had a lot of free time. Therefore, since I always enjoyed video games and enjoyed writing, I joined ScrewAttack and started to blog to pass the time.

The second reason is that I thought I could provide an interesting opinion and perspective to ScrewAttack. I’m a gamer, but I don’t really like RPGs, I play sports, and I know nothing about Anime or Japan. Basically I considered myself to be a gamer, but I wasn’t into the majority of hobbies that other gamers were into. So I called myself a parttime gamer and began to blog.

You had the awesome initiative of keeping the g1 Spotlight alive, what made you think you had what it takes to keep this segment on the community?

gonna ask some other g1s to do it, but then thought ‘Why not me.’ So within an hour I wrote a blog that claimed I was gonna take over the spotlight from now on.

I love the story of how I took over the g1 Spotlight. You’d think that such a big decision would taken a few hours or days to think up but this was not the case at all.

After posting the blog and receiving so much support from the ScrewAttack staff and the g1s I began to actually think about my decision, and I feared that I bit off far too much. I almost called off the whole thing when I had an aha! moment. I knew that if I did all the writing and researching for the g1 Spotlight every week then I would burn myself out extremely quickly. I don’t have ADD or ADHD, but I get bored and sidetracked very easily. My fiancé hates when I clean the house because I’ll start vacuuming one room, then quit halfway through to organize our DVD collection alphabetically, then I’ll quit that because I notice dishes in the sink.

It’s quite tiresome. So I knew I’d need some help so I put out the call to the g1s to help me write and research the spotlight. That way I can oversee things, and the spotlight would continue on the site.

Ever since then I’ve had a team of g1s helping me with the spotlight weekly, and they deserve to win g1 of the year too for all their help and support.

I loved the g1 Spotlight, throughout all of its upgrades and versions. The spotlight shows off the strength of this community, because it spotlights the best blogs our community makes. Every week you listen to the best g1 made music, read the best g1 made blog, enjoy the best g1 made work, and especially see g1s trying to build connections with other g1s via contests and gamedays. If you wanna see how strong out community is, then just look at the spotlight every week. So after a while I noticed that Bryan wasn’t posting the g1 Spotlight anymore. I contacted him on Twitter to see why he was no longer doing it.

The response I got was that the g1 Spotlight wasn’t getting enough views, or it wasn’t worth the time… something like that, don’t quote me on it, because I really can’t remember. All I know is that Bryan said he wasn’t going to do it anymore. So literally 5 minutes after I got that tweet, I figured if Bryan’s not going to do it, then someone should. I was

So basically, I found out Bryan wasn’t doing it anymore, and on a whim I took over, and got help from g1s. No thought, no deliberation, just wanted to help the site any way I could.

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Well your support has been noted, you are now g1 of the year! Chose by the community, what were your thoughts while being nominated and finally on Christmas’ announcement?

I was honestly shocked when I was nominated and eventually won. Sure I run the g1 Spotlight, but I have a ton of help from the g1 staff. I hold a few contests, ran the Titanium Man of Flash Gaming, and write a bunch of Top 10s but I really never did any of those things to become famous among the g1s, I just had fun interacting with everyone.

That’s why I said, if I win or if I lose, I’m still gonna keep writing and keep doing everything I do for the site. I run the Spotlight, TMoFG, and whatever else I do, because it’s fun and rewarding. So to be nominated and then elected g1 of the year was just pure shock. Now that doesn’t mean that I didn’t want to win… because I did.

However, my desire to win was never greater than my humble joy that so many g1s supported me, and voted for me. I actually got a little teary eyed when my name was announced.

It means the world to me, and I wish I could nominate and vote for every one of you.

Now the worst part of being nominated is that Craig and Bryan, told us when they’d announce a winner. So on Christmas eve I had to take sleeping pills to fall asleep because around 4am EST the video was still not up and I had a long day ahead of me. I was so exciting and nervous that I could not sleep, and when I finally did it was not restful. I woke up and checked the website every 10 minutes hoping for the video to popup. I was bouncing across the room, like a kid on Christmas and couldn’t focus on making small talk with my inlaws or watching A Christmas Story, I was too excited for the announcement. Then I saw the video on the main site, and my

heart skipped a beat. I watched it, and the 3 minute video felt like it was 3 days long. I was nervous… especially because of my competition. Alpha Unit is a new g1, but is a great g1 and extremely supportive of everyone’s blogs. REVULSIVE is a god of Photoshop and making the g1s laugh.

When I heard my name being announced as 2011 g1 of the year, a smile was plastered on my face for the whole day, even when I was puking violently from a stomach bug, I was still smiling.

I don’t even think the news fully hit me yet, I’m still in shock and eternally grateful to everyone.

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What do you expect of ScrewAttack and the community during this following year?

What do I expect? Wow… you started off with some easy questions now you are making me write essays.

I avoided writing a blog about New ScrewAttack and all of this for a reason, so I’m not going to get into a ton of details here but there are a few things I’d like to see. My favorite thing about ScrewAttack is the random awesomeness.

The eating challenges, the day in a life, the impromptu video game challenges, and just the craziness that happens in the office. Those videos let the g1s get to know the staff at ScrewAttack better, because we see the staff being how they are in real life. Not to say that in other videos the staff acts fake, but in reviews or Top 10s they are scripted, and so is CoTW… kinda. I just enjoy it.

Ya know what? If I continue this way I will be writing for hours and I know you wanna get the magazine done, so to sum it all up, I want more. Yes I am spoiled, but I want more. I want more original shows by the ScrewAttack staff.

We used to have The Scoop with Ben, Jose’s Puntos with Jose, The Armory with Destin, and plenty more. Now what do we have? DEATHBATTLE with Wiz and Boomstick, and… what? I want more Partner Shows. I loved Life in a Game, Nametags, and Captain S… and we need more of this kind of content *cough* The Retro Hunters *cough*. I want more of everything else you do, more cartoon commentaries (Megaman cartoon), more WTF is that, just give me more. In addition, I guess I’d like some better organization on the site. Like many g1s, I’d love for a rotator for g1 made content on the front page.

However, I also don’t wanna see the same blog spotlighted under Top News Stories Today and Popular g1 Posts; they should be separate.

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Besides that I expect ScrewAttack to keep growing, and providing for us g1s because there aren’t many sites of this size where the owner and staff talk to the users as much as the SA staff does and I’d love for even more interactions and town hall meetings.

Anything you want to say to the g1’s?

I just can’t thank you guys enough. A lot of people claim that ScrewAttack has the best community on the internet and it is completely true. There is so much support here, that g1s new and old feel welcome.

Besides that, I just wanted to reiterate something I said in my very first blog here. If you ever need help, wanna chat, wanna collab, or anything feel free to contact me. I may not answer right away, but I read and enjoy everything you guys send my way.

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-VIDEO GAME PREV

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Minecraft Release Date: November 18th Platform: PC Hype Level: 7/10 g1 MadHero15 thinks: It’s odd to think that Minecraft still hasn’t fully come out yet. Its alpha and beta have sold over 4 million copies, and has turned it into a indie phenomenon. Now, the full definitive version will arrive in a few short days and only improve on its success.

If you don’t know what Minecraft is already, you live under a rock. Basically it’s a construction game, only limited by the power of your imagination and the amount of blocks you have.

There are 2 official game types. Survival, which gives you a health bar and monsters that will destroy your life’s work. Creative mode, which gives you all the tools you need to start building.

In the world there’s also places to explore like the nether and the Sky World.

I don’t know how much the official release is going to add compared to the beta, but I’m sure Notch and co. will find something to improve. I myself have never been a Minecraft player simply because I don’t have the drive to make some of the great things other people make. Still, it’s a great game adored by many, and I think they won’t be disappointed with the full version finally comes.

Thumbs Up/Down: A blocky Thumbs Up

VIEWS: DECEMBER-

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The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword Release Date: November 18th (EU) 20th (NA) 24th (AUS) Platform: Wii Hype Level: 9/10 g1 MadHero15 thinks: The Legend of Zelda is one of the most revered franchises of all time. Games like Ocarina of Time, Majora’s Mask, Wind Waker, Twilight Princess, and Link to the Past have all been a part. Now, at the end of the Wii’s lifecycle, a Zelda truly made for the Wii (TP was originally a Gamecube game) is coming, willing to innovate and challenge OoT to the right of being the best Zelda game. Can it succeed?

Set before OoT, Link’s childhood friend Zelda (not a princess this time) is kidnapped by the evil Lord Ghirahim, who seeks to revive his master. Link will travel through Skyloft (a bunch of islands in the sky) and Hyrule in order to save her. Gameplay wise this game makes full use of Wii MotionPlus, slashing in different directions to kill enemies. New items include the Beetle and the Whip (Zeldavania?). All of Link’s items are also upgradable.

Reviews for Skyward Sword have already claimed this is one of the GOTY’s and probably the best Zelda to date. Those are huge compliments. The Zelda series has always been good and Skyward Sword looks like one of the best games for the Wii. Yeah, motion controls still aren’t as accepted in the hardcore as they want to be, but if anyone can do it, its Link and the Master Sword. I can’t wait to play this game.

Thumbs Up/Down: A sky-high Thumbs Up

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-VIDEO GAME PREV

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The King of Fighters XIII Release Date: November 22nd Platform: Xbox 360, PS3 Hype Level: 9/10 g1 IceSpikes thinks: This Month SNK Playmore is releasing KOF XIII and I could not be more Excited. I have been watching videos about the game and I can’t wait to play. I have only one thing that always worries me about SNK Games and it already happened.

King of Fighters XII was a beautiful 2D fighting game. The stages were exquisite works of art. The characters sprites had an extraordinary amount of detail.

By following the videos and the Developer’s interviews, seems that KOF XIII will attempt to fix their short comings from the last installment. The character roster went up from 20 characters to 31. In one of their interviews, the Manager of PR and Sales from Atlus showcased the online play for the game.

I am really excited about having another KOF game and very glad that Atlus is the publishing company. I know I am going to pick this one up.

The only worry I have now is that I don’t really know how many fans are going to pick this one up because is coming just one week after Ultimate Marvel vs Capcom 3. I just hope that SNK and Atlus Keep working on any online improvements needed after the game’s release.

Thumbs Up/Down: Terry Bogard’s Burning Knuckles says Thumbs Up

VIEWS: DECEMBER-

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Mario Kart 7 Release Date: December 2nd (Eu), 3rd (AUS), 4th (NA) Platform: 3DS Hype Level: 8/10

g1 MadHero15 thinks: Out of all the spin-offs based on Mario, none are quite as popular as Mario Kart. The items, the courses, the sheer chaos, no other racer has been able to replicate that. Now, comes the 7th installment, this time calling the 3DS its home. Will it be a solid entry, or a disappointment?

The gimmick in this installment is customization to your vehicles. New skins, new wheels, and weight, but the most important of all is the gadget feature. This allows you to use a hang glider to temporarily fly, or a propeller to go faster underwater.

This adds a lot more strategy to the mix. New items such as the Tanooki Leaf and Fire Flower are added, and the ability to play with the gyroscope (why you want to do that is anyone’s question) The Kart franchise has never let me down, and I don’t think this one will either. When you add in the online play that was featured in DS and Wii, new characters such as Wiggler and Queen Bee, and the fact that it is Mario Kart, makes me feel that this one is a winner. The 3ds can soon add another great title to the mix Thumbs Up/Down: 3….. 2….. 1….. Thumbs Up

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-REVIEW-

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When Assassin’s Creed became a yearly franchise, everybody worried about its quality plummeting. Surprisingly, 2010’s Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood was a very good game, coming a year after 2009’s Assassin’s Creed II. So what the hell happened with Assassin’s Creed: Revelations?

A ScrewAttack Written Review

by Jared Knabenbauer

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Assassin’s Creed Revelations Developer: Ubisoft Montreal Publisher: Ubisoft System: PC, Xbox 360 & PS3 Release Date: November 15th, 2011

GRAPHICS Ezio Auditore is beginning to show his age, and frankly, so is the engine. It’s been the same one used for the past three games now. There’s been incremental improvements in-between each, but this year, it’s looking rough.

On the surface, it looks almost exactly the same as the previous Creed game.

In fact, nearly every animation for running, combat, and pedestrians are recycled from last year. There are a handful of new attack animations, which get frequently repeated to make sure you

know that they’re new. Some animations simply look awkward, such as during cutscenes, or handing off a bag of money to a herald.

While it’s still passable, the special effects falter the most. Things like explosions, smoke, or tumbling buildings lack any sort of visual punch. The opening CG movie is great (and looks good for trailers), but the one playing at the credits is laughable in comparison. This stands out far more than the numerous inconsistencies (Count how many times Ezio’s scar vanishes in the opening movie).

AUDIO The Assassin’s Creed series has been fantastic at nailing accents and dialects, and that tradition continues. Voice acting in the virtual world of Constantinople is a strong point, but Nolan North seems to sleepwalk his way through his role as Desmond this time around. The music has lost some of its unique flair from the previous games, but it continues to swell at all the right places, or set elegant ambiance in the more peaceful moments. But the greatest music comes from a single mission in which Ezio pretends to be a bard. Give a close listen to his lyrics, and have yourself a good laugh.

GAMEPLAY The core gameplay of Assassin’s Creed: Revelations remains largely the same as last year’s Brotherhood. You continue to play as Ezio Auditore, a master assassin in Constantipole. Every mission will have you climbing on walls, running across rooftops, and assassinating people with a variety of tools in the open city. Returning features are the ability to train recruits to become helpful assassins, allowing you to summon them to your aid, and purchasing shops around the city to increase your personal revenue.

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ing to the side. They require minimal thinking, involve zero puzzle-solving skills, and are so slow and drab that they aren’t worth the time and effort to unlock.

There are three additions that can be considered major. The first is Ezio’s second hidden blade becoming a hook.

This makes climbing up a wall much faster, gives extra reach in jumps, and allows you to zipline down a rope in a few instanced areas. The ziplining is novel at best, and its usefulness highly questionable, but it does make for brief excitement in chase sequences. It’s great to be able to climb up a wall faster and jump further, but it doesn’t have much impact on the main gameplay.

will take every conceivable opportunity to cram the use of bombs down your throat it possibly can. Nearly everything you do will get you a new bomb part, from opening treasure chests, completing missions, and sending your Assassins out to neighboring cities. You can play through the entire game completely ignoring the use of bombs. It’s a minor addition, it’s underutilized, and has too few opportunities to effectively use it.

And yet, bombs are forced upon you at every turn.

The second is protecting a den. After stealing a base from the opposing Templars, Ezio can set his assassins-intraining there. If Ezio gets too much attention from the Templars (from assassinating, renovating, stealing, etc.), one of his bases will be raided. This spurs Ezio to begin a tower defense minigame. It is horribly unbalanced, unfun, and a chore to play. There is little strategy to the setup of your defense, usually winning by sheer numbers, but it’s far too easy for an enemy battering ram to plow through and destroy your den.

You’re best off doing everything you can to avoid playing the Den Defense.

Gone are the puzzle-like elements of the previous games. Instead, you have these awkward first-person platforming sequences involving Desmond and his past. You essentially walk over gaps placing a bridge or an incline to get to the next room. It’s basically walking around constantly mashing the “place bridge” button, and sometimes turn-

The final addition is bombs.

You can craft bombs for different purposes, such as poisoning enemies, distracting people with money, or setting up caltrops to aid in escape.

You’re essentially making hand grenades, and the game

But these aren’t as frustrating as the numerous bugs present throughout the entire game. This game is by far the most unpolished and rough product in the entire series. Ezio would look straight down at the floor while walking on the streets like he was looking over the ledge of a rooftop. Enemies will have their lower half inside of a building, making them impossible to target.

The completion of an early game mission gave the end-game armor instantly. Enemies will spawn ahead of you, and sometimes directly next to you.

One pedestrian’s robes were sticking straight up toward the sky, letting the whole world see his skivvies.

Of course, you’d muscle through all of that if you’re intrigued by the plot. Unfortunately, the narrative of Revelations is incredibly weak. Any new character introduced is two dimensional, the plot lacks any real suspense, and the wrap-up of Ezio and Altair’s stories is unfulfilling. And the ending is by far the most ludicrous thing the series has ever had. It has surpassed Metal Gear Solid’s story in absurdity. Think about that for a minute.

However, the gameplay itself is solid. It’s literally more of the same with a much shorter campaign. If you’re a fan of the previous entries, you’ll still enjoy this one just as much.

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REPLAYABILITY Completionists will find plenty to do in the single player mode. There are dozens of weapons to purchase, over a hundred shops to renovate, and hidden collectibles everywhere.

Returning from Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood is the online multiplayer mode.

It’s been polished over and is now far more balanced than it was before. It retains the stealth-like gameplay from the single player, only players hunt each other. You get more points for killing other players while being hidden than running around. This means that it’s about the quality of the kill rather than the quantity. Some modes have you hunting down a specific person as other people track you, or chasing after a player who has stolen an artifact, and some team deathmatch-style games.

One of the coolest ones is Corruption, in which two players hunt six others. As they kill them, they join their side tracking down their once-comrades. It’s exhilarating to try to hide as long as possible, then sprinting as hard as you can as you get chased by seven people.

The multiplayer can be genuinely enjoyable, albeit frustrating from higher level players having a distinct advantage. It’s safe to say the online mode holds up better than the offline, and is

certainly worth distracting you for a few afternoons.

While Assassin’s Creed: Revelations adds in a few new ideas, it has done very little to improve or refine existing ones.

While the multiplayer is strong, the single player is extremely lacking in all departments. It’s evident that this game has gotten less care and attention than the others. With the announcement of another Assassin’s Creed in 2012, the absence of focus better be from making that game significantly better.

▲ Review Score by November 28th, 2011.

(Above Average - 6s have good ideas, but may not be executed the best. It can be enjoyable by certain circumstances or fans, but may feel shallow to most.)

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-REVIEW-

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I think of some of my favorite movies and several car movies pop up. Bullitt, Vanishing Point, and...erm... Death Proof. So to see the latest Need for Speed, Need For Speed The Run, have a story and be coming from Black Box, who did the previous story based installments like Underground and Most Wanted, all signs pointed to a good game. Hopes were raised to find out that while The Run is certainly a good game, it’s just not that good.

A ScrewAttack Written Review

by Bryan Baker

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Need for Speed The Run Developer: Black Box Publisher: Electronic Arts Systems: PC, Xbox 360 & PS3 Release Date: November 15th, 2011

GRAPHICS Running on the Frostbite 2 engine, The Run makes the sexy cars look sexy and the scenic stages look like the places you see on postcards. Except for Nebraska.

There’s no saving Nebraska. Being a cross-country race with America’s geographic diversity, Black Box has recreated the bright lights of Vegas, the snowy Rockies of Colorado... and the boring cornfields of Nebraska. Actually, this was my first experience with Frostbite 2, and that opening shot with Jack duct taped into a Porsche? The level of detail on Jack’s face is pretty impressive.

It’s a shame that the characters aren’t animated any better to match.

AUDIO The licensed cars sound like cars. Unless someone is obsessed with engine and exhaust notes, they won’t know if the LFA sounds like a Lexus LFA or a Shelby Cobra Super Snake. Not much, if any, licensed music to speak of in The Run but there are plenty of remixes of the game’s theme.

There isn’t much to praise about the dialogue, either. The script is barebones and conversations are few and far between. After the opening sequence, the game goes several stages before you

really talk to anyone, and even then you’re just being yelled at to run from the cops. The one redeeming piece of audio actually occurs in Nebraska.

For the first few stages you’re running through deserts and snowy mountains to serious music and tense climaxes.

Then you’re tearing through one of the most quaint states in the union to some sort of country/folk music. I’m a sucker for juxtaposition.

GAMEPLAY The Run’s core racing is fun and similar to recent Need for Speed titles. With the entire country available to them, Black Box made some fun tracks with some fun moments racing across America. If this game is accurate, then Colorado has the worst guardrails ever on the Rockies. Dangerous driving is still rewarded with boost and, in some cases,

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the business end of an 18-wheeler. The usual suspects of licensed cars are present (sans Ferraris) but you can’t customize them. It won’t be easy to pick your car, either. Only on some tracks will gas stations be present to switch your ride.

You don’t have to if you don’t want to, but you could pay for it as soon as the very next race. If you pick a car that just isn’t working for you, you have to make it work until you get to another gas station.

The reset system is welcome for the number of times I wrecked or didn’t want to redo the entire race. It just happens that boredom can set in when you’re repeating the same race types.

Each stage consists of a few races that are always the same types instead of creating scenarios for the kind of race you’re running to mean more.

This Need for Speed is supposed to be based around a story that’s barely there after the opening sequence. You know Jack needs to win a race to clear a debt and his name with the mob, and a woman who was so ineffective I’ve already forgotten her name helps you enter provided she gets her piece of the pie. She repeats herself a lot after that.

The other characters are the bosses who

get maybe a cutscene before they’re out of the picture. These are the same kind of bosses you can still beat by spinning them out if they don’t rubber band their way into 1st place. The quick time events meant to break up the racing monotony are the kind where a button is mashed until you’re told what to mash next. Running from the cops could have been more fun if they were built out as their own levels and opportunities to grow the story. Instead, it’s a whole lot of disappointing QTEs.

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Hot Pursuit and Shift titles. I applaud EA and Black Box for wanting to step out of the box with The Run; it’s just that they didn’t step far enough. This can be a fun game at times, but it could’ve been more fun if it hadn’t been rushed out the door. You can rent this after Thanksgiving or Christmas if you want something to do with your cousins, but for all the gaming reasons this holiday season will be remembered for, this won’t be one of them.

REPLAYABILITY Autolog continues its stay in Need For Speed, giving you motivation to top the records of your friends in challenges or traditional races. Multiplayer only creates variety by which class of cars you’re driving and what bonus you might win after a series of races. It would’ve been nice to see the cops utilized in multiplayer like Hot Pursuit did, or maybe dig further back in the Need For Speed heritage for drag races.

More could’ve been done with the multiplayer, just like more could’ve been done with the single player which wraps up after 4-6 hours. Need for Speed has been making strides recently with the

▲ Review Score by November 28th, 2011.

(Average - 5s are all right. It’s not remarkably good, but not remarkably bad either. Completely ho-hum, and could be a decent way to pass time.)

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It’s time to throw down the modernized gauntlet and see who’s who in the world of wars. DICE and EA have given Battlefield fans a lot with this franchise, and Battlefield 3 won’t be an exception to the fans. Will Battlefield give Call of Duty some suppressing fire, or will EA and DICE have to check their aim in this installment? by g1 Cyrax Second Opinion by g1 Hybrid Rain

-REV

VIEW-

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Battlefield 3 Developer: Digital Illusions CE (DICE) Publisher: Electronic Arts and Sega (Japan) Systems: PC, Xbox 360, PS3 & iOS Release Date: October 25th, 2011

Campaign The story puts us two years into the future where the United States is under attack by a terrorist group called the People’s Liberation and Resistance (PLR). Most of the story takes place on the Iraq-Iran borders, where you’re a part of a five-man squad set out to stop the PLR. Obviously, the object is to stop Solomon, the leader of the PLR, from further attacks against the good ol’ US of A, but the campaign is too bland to really stick out against the likes of Homefront, Call of Duty, and every other modern combat scenario story. It’s funny, if you think about it, that we’re now starting to complain about modern combat as opposed to a few years ago where we’ve had enough of World War II scenarios.

Vehicle missions are scarce in the game, which is highly unfortunate. It would have been fun to roam around in a tank blowing stuff up left and right.

However, at the same time, the controls for a helicopter are inverted so I’m not too bummed out by the lack of vehicles in the campaign.

The story is very “cookie-cutter-ish” to that of Call of Duty 4, where you find

their hideout, capture the “second-incommand,” find out where the bad guy is, and kill him. The one thing that’s different is that the “secondin-command,” Al-Bashir, has been betrayed as Solomon attempts to send off nuclear missiles to New York.

That moment of the game, along with a dumb rat quick-time event, left me puzzled and frustrated that I hoped the other features of the game made up for the price. Boy, did it ever.

Co-op The co-op missions are unrelated to the story and are reminiscent to Call of Duty’s “Special Ops.” Surprisingly, the co-op was not a copy of the competitor, and there were vehicles to drive in the game! Sounds cool, right?

You and an online buddy are given many different scenarios to play out, from helping out two squads get through a hostile town, to clearing a

SCREWATTACK MAGAZINE - DECEMBER path down a street blocked by enemies.

The co-op isn’t one of the main reasons in which you’ll buy the game, but it’s a nice new addition for those who like to pair up instead of going it alone.

Unfortunately, the game does not support a split-screen co-op mode in case you have a friend over to play. If there were a split-screen option, then there would have to be a four-player option, which may be asking for too much for a new addition to the series.

Co-op is a fresh, new experience for those looking for more from Battlefield, and will certainly turn a few heads looking to get a little more bang for their buck.

Multiplayer And now we come to the real reason why you should purchase this game.

Where the campaign lacks in greatness, the multiplayer more than makes up for it. The multiplayer for this game is, and should be, the definitive reason why you buy Battlefield 3. Why? Because it’s got something for everyone.

Yes, you read that right. The game has it’s normal Squad Rush, Conquest, Rush, and Squad Deathmatch modes, but there’s a new addition to the modes that has definitely made me, as well as a few others I’m sure, do a double take.

For the first time since Battlefield 1942,

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Team Deathmatch returns to the franchise.

While the maps overall may be huge, the teams are also pretty large as there’s about ten to twelve players per team. Squad Rush seems to be the biggest drawback, surprisingly, as the maps are enormous and the teams are very small, with only four players per team.

There are four different classes to choose from: Assault, Support, Engineer, and Recon.

Recon players tend to stay back and pick off enemies from a distance, while Assault players mostly rush in and try to get the bulk of the group.

Support classes use smaller guns like P90s and are meant to compliment the Assault classes with back-up help.

Each class has different perks as well, where the Engineer can fix vehicles with some quick repairs and the Assault class can revive other players with defibrillators and help out with medkits.

Recon players have the advantage of placing a radio beacon anywhere they please, and their teammates can spawn on the beacon’s location.

All classes can attach a flashlight that can not only light up rooms, but blind other players as well. The laser sight can also blind players, but only temporarily and not as much as the tactical light.

There are also bipods to attach to weapons in case you tend to go prone a lot, which can increase accuracy.

One feature I find to be a fun challenge is the dog tag collection. If you sneak up on an enemy and melee him from behind, you’ll collect their dog tags.

While this doesn’t allow you to unlock the dog tag that they have, it’ll be fun to see if you can get your hands on a DICE developer, as they have exclusive tags for themselves.

Overall The campaign you can most certainly disregard, unless you like to collect achievements. Then you’re screwed.

Otherwise, you’ll be spending hours upon hours, maybe even months playing Battlefield 3, which I think can seriously challenge Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3. It certainly feels good to have servers, doesn’t it?

-PROS-

-CONS-

▲ World class multiplayer.

▼ Less-than-interesting campaign.

▲ Tons of multiplayer details.

▼ Vehicle controls.

▲ Installed HD graphics.

▼ Spawn time a bit too long.

Buy It, Rent It, F*** It? 9 out of 10 A definite BUY!

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Second Opinion Being a Call of Duty fan, there is no denial that the new Battlefield caught my eye. For some it’s the CoD killer, for others is just a game to enjoy; in my perspective I got excited after playing the BETA and really wanted to see this game in action.

But after all the shenanigans EA put to the PC version and the plot holed story of the campaign, is Battlefield 3 worth the hype? Let’s find out.

By g1 Hybrid Rain Before getting into the review I have to state that this review comes from the point of view of someone who has never been interested on the Battlefield franchise or has played it enough to know the charm behind it but has played it before, understands the mechanics and novelty behind it and have played more Team Fortress 2 than Battlefield. I’m more of a Call of Duty player but I did played the BETA of the game which hooked me immediately and obviously at least played the game; I really enjoyed the game’s tactical and team work style which was the main reason I got interested on playing the game in the first place, graphically I agree with all the BF3 fans, it DOES put MW3 into shame, but we must remember that both games are different and each one has its own DNA. CAMPAIGN I have 2 words for describing this campaign: “Uninspired” and “Lazy”. It tries the World War 3 formula in a different way that’s for sure but how it was executed is what battles. Working in a storyline based on flashbacks it does brings some liberties with the storytelling, but at the same time it brings a greater responsibility to deliver a solid and wellwritten plot to keep the player interested in the campaign. Unfortunately this story is full of plot holes and uninteresting consequences that failed to impact the player.

Why uninspired?: We have seen this plot in many movies and games, which it doesn’t mean that it can’t work but it can easily fall apart as a “cliché” if it doesn’t deliver a strong and interesting story for the player to enjoy. Country A is being framed by Country B so it goes to war against Country C and B wins while manipulating the whole situation.

Ok, simple sequence of events, to make your own enemies destroy themselves while you take advantage to get your goals, but in the case of Battlefield 3 the story doesn’t make much sense and doesn’t give a real explanation of what is happening, it feels like the only reason behind each event on the game is “BECAUSE THE PLOT SAIS SO” and that approach doesn’t really work. It doesn’t bring anything new into the mix and plot twists are over the place without any base to sustain its own argument.

Why Lazy?: Other thing that the story fails to explore is how to make the player care for the characters, there is no real emotion or development behind them, even with the top voice acting it really boils down to see that someone dies and that’s it, no background story, no interest of taking revenge, nothing to make the gamer be interested on what happened to your fellow comrades.

(See Spoiler on the next page)

I’ll have to blame the 4-5 hours the campaign which again, that’s too short for this kind of games, developers should really start to put more effort to the campaigns of the FPS genre not just be interested on developing a Single Player add-on. Another thing that was a letdown was the scenario of a natural catastrophe which only purpose was to give reasons to the revolution of the PLR

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SPOILER ALERT Sergeant Jonathan “Jono” Miller execution for me was a big insult and disappointment. Yes, this is support to be a war and war crimes can happen, I do understand it but his execution just got from no were and the previous events leading to his capture are really anticlimactic, oh sure it was supposed to be when he is rescuing Blackburn but the scene is just so static and with no feeling what so ever, it felt more like a “we left you behind to die” than “A noble sacrifice” which is very different in my opinion, besides the setting of the scene doesn’t really help, movements and cut scenes are too fast with no logic at all (did anyone of the developers at least watched a war movie? A good example, Black Hawk Down?).

This was the only character I felt a bit sorry for his dead because of the only background info I knew from him: his family. During the game Miller has a small dinosaur that reads, “To Dad” giving a small yet important fact about the character but that’s just it; no more about

in Iran, why the developers didn’t turn this disaster into a game mechanic for storytelling? No clue… it would at least do something of survival and stealth to the mix but nope… you are bound to fight in every scene possible, I tried to go stealth on this mission and no matter what I did at the end I always had to pull my gun and shoot.

Overall, the story is not really strong on this one; I had more fun with Battlefield Bad Company’s Single Player because of the character development it was executed to the game and the plot was actually more interesting than this one, I’m actually disappointed of it at a certain point it’s just that the campaign had the potential but it was just wasted with plot holes and no development.

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why we must care for this character’s dead or why he is killed in such way; by the way is it just me or that scene looked REALLY similar to True Lies? That killed the moment for me too.

Developers’, killing off characters just because the story says so is not good enough, you have to build an interest and get to know to the player why you should care about them, you have to build and create the scenes in a way its memorable to the player so it hypes the gamer’s interest of keep playing and coming back to the game and if you have to kill a character at least make the character go fighting or making a well written plot that will actually make the player feel something for the character, a good example again MGS or even MW2.

Co-Op

GRAPHICS

It does bring a challenge after playing through the game and also I like the idea that gear or unlockables that you get on this mode are used for the Multiplayer.

The Frostbite engine is THE most impressive graphic engine on the market right now. I can’t compare it to the CryEngine from Cryteck right now but I must admit it IS damn impressive. Not only bringing back the destructive environment but making it as polished as possible, making the environment really detailed and very different from other FPS in the market right now.

Similar to the Special OPS in MW3 it does have a variety of modes and mini campaigns to play with the help of a friend. I’m not a big fan of this modes but I do see the extra effort put into this although it does feel like playing an extra mission on the campaign with a smarter AI companion.

I’m not going much into detail here but is an extra bonus content I’m glad is in the disc and not DLC.

Characters uniforms, vehicles and weapons modeling, lighting and other effects with the help of the Frostbite engine makes it jump the uncanny valley.

Depending of what version you have the performance will be different, the console versions work well but apparently can have slight hiccups when the battle gets really intense or the loading of the materials and textures are being perform while playing and for the PC version it all depends of your rig.

Now from personal experience I discovered that this engine does require a good graphics card and processor for full hardcore performance but doesn’t mean you have to change your complete rig to play it, if you have an Intel Quad Core processor and a Graphics Card of at least 1gb you’ll play at least on at 30 fps and graphically it will still look better than Call of Duty.

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HOWEVER! I must warn you about the shenanigans EA and NVIDIA have done to force you to buy a new graphics card and if you are wondering? My PC can run Crysis 2 and that says a lot.

Apparently games today are now by default being released at 16:9 ratio but are forgetting to make this ratio fit into a 4:3 screen and if in the video setting I tried to make the resolution 16:9 to fit the screen, it only stretched the image and it all looked cramped instead of fitting into the screen. In other words it gets crooked badly.

The only way to have a “fit 16:9” video resolution is using the windowed mode but I’m not a huge fan of it. Developers start adding an ability to fit into the 4:3 screens easily, not just by try and error the resolution of the screen until it finally works.

If we let pass this, graphically this is one of the most amazing games EA has released so far, the Frostbite engine really shows how awesome and detailed environments, lighting, effects and 3D models can really be.

Graphic whores might be pleased after all…

AUDIO The sounds and environmental SFX are outstanding and immersive. The sound design for this game is the perfect example of putting effort into making each shot, impact, explosion, footstep and bit of glass broken sound as realistic and convincing as possible.

This is another strong point of the game design, the variety of sounds in this game makes it an immersive experience and playing with your head phones makes it even more powerful. Shooting your gun sounds like the real deal and this makes fire fights more interesting and enjoyable; listening different type of sounds from different guns in near or far proximity, either way the sound design for this game is by far one that finally tops Activision’s Call of Duty Modern Warfare franchise sound design.

The Voice Acting it’s really top notch, making the poorly written single player be at least a bit more entertaining in the cut scenes and in-game events; unfortunately the music is not the same.

The music for the game although used in a good way when there is high tension or fire fights is forgettable and even the lack of the original Battlefield theme,

SCREWATTACK MAGAZINE - DECEMBER would disappoint any fan of the series although the new version can grow into the player but that depends of the taste and nostalgia it can bring.

GAMEPLAY For consoles the control scheme is as default as any other FPS on consoles but where I had a lot of trouble customizing my controls was in the PC version.

Rather than letting me freely adding and deleting keys for playing was a dreadful experience, if I messed up a key I had to either reset to default the whole work I did or put the key in another letter so the slot could be used, I don’t understand why was so difficult to customize the controls for this game.

The core of this game it’s the Multiplayer and by far is one of the most entertaining multiplayers I’ve played in a long time. Rather than an arcade play, Battlefield 3 focuses on tactical and team work play capturing objec-

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tives and being organized into a single assault team, very different from what I’ve played with Modern Warfare. This game requires that you forget about MW’s lone wolf assaults, this is a team based game, if you try to get a high rank by just getting the most kills, you’ll lose; again the key term here is “TEAM WORK”, organize with various teams deployed around the map to conquer victoryover the opposing force.

gameplay; it gives you freedom to actually craft your weapon for your needs keeping the balance on the game. Divided by Optics, Attachments, Weapon Mods and Alternate Ammo it does give you options to mount, want a suppressor with a red dot optic and a Grip for a more accurate fire? Done. Want an Assault Rifle with barrel for a long distance hit and a sniper optic so you can be an Assault/Recon class? Done.

On the multiplayer there are only 4 available classes each with different and unique abilities and gear: Assault, Support, Engineer and Recon. Assault now is the “Medic” class of this game and helps in the healing of the team; Support focuses on supplying ammo.

Engineer works on fixing and destroying vehicles and Recon is the sniper class for spotting the enemy.

That’s something I really liked from this kind of mods for weapons, it does give freedom to craft what you like, obviously it has it’s cons and pros that can affect your accuracy but that can be fixed by tweaking your gameplay or using the weapon in different rates of fire Auto (Full fire), Burst (3 shot Burst) and Semi (single shot) which is another advantage in this game, the power and balanced of the weapon depends on the rate you use and this gives multipurpose to all the weapons unlike MW which makes the gameplay be more

What I like about the gear in this game is how you can customize the weapons depending of your needs and type of

*Disclaimer: this is JUST a tested theory that I tried on my PC, may or not happen to you and this is just a personal though. This may or not be proof of my personal theory of what I’m going to accuse these companies.*

EA and NVIDIA breaking your Graphics Card on purpose?

If you remember back on the BETA after installing Origin and the game when you started the application it gave a notification that there is a graphics card for gaming and special for this game; if you didn’t want to order the graphics card it sent you to the driver’s updates for the BETA. Logically you’ll update and you might see an improvement on the game… or not. In my case the driver I installed for the BETA and the Game was the 290.36 version; the game ran smoothly but I noticed that my graphics card started overheating and my UPS voltage was going waaaaaaaaay out of the limit, even playing games like COD4 or StarCraft II which it didn’t make any sense since previous gameplays never showed this hiccups until I updated to the new driver.

After doing some research I decided to uninstall and re-install my graphic card with the current version it came 266.58 and all the problems were solved. No more hiccups, no over voltage and I could run even BF3 on Hardcore.

So what happened there? Did EA and NVIDIA planned on screwing our rigs to make us think we had to upgrade to play the game? That’s actually Bullshit, how can an upgraded driver f’up your PC so it makes you think you need to buy from them a new card to play just this game and believe me, I’m not the only one who tried this method before, at least to those who I’ve told them to re-install their initial drivers have said that performance problems were fixed by not updating the drivers.

Coincidence? I don’t think so.

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focused on the perks than the weapons that are being affected by the rate of fire.

The game modes that are present on Battlefield 3: Conquest, Rush, Squad Deathmatch, Squad Rush and for the first time since Battlefield 1942, Team Deathmatch.

Maps are designed to apply the modes and keep balanced for both teams although in my experience I had more fun with the maps that didn’t have vehicles, maybe because it made a bit faster and tactical and makes the team to focus more on capturing the objectives, although that’s just me. Maps that were big and required vehicles for transporting players to the battlefield sometimes were the most boring ones

since it’s always a race to capture one of this vehicles and maybe was my luck but players would fly away on the helicopters empty just to rush objectives… go team work???

For the console you can play up to 24 players but in the PC is up to 64 which looks like chaotic madness but it’s a huge and massive experience you’ll be immerse.

Few complains I might have is the death screen, you can die many ways but it doesn’t matter, you’ll always see your hand falling to the floor and doing a last survival attempt, even if you freaking receive a headshot, a more variety on the death screens could had been worked into the game because at least for me it’s monotonous and annoying.

Now before continuing I have to bring the debacle behind Origin and the Battle Log system. There has been proof that Origin in early states and apparently still shares personal information when you are log, videos on YouTube have probe this but nothing has been done to fix it. In my opinion I don’t like Origin, it feels like installing a Trojan in my PC, as far as I know the feed of information is as you do on Facebook but still I prefer keeping Steam, the games I play are on Steam so why change suddenly?

I don’t like the Battle Log System; I would rather have those abilities of the Battle Log in the main menu of the Multiplayer game (but there is none) than using the web browser, just me.

Stupid decision by EA there.

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AS A BATTLEFIELD FAN:

Battlefield 3 can be some up in 2 words: Lost Potential. As a Call of Duty player I see the effort and development behind this game and I admit it does well and I actually enjoy this type of gameplay, something really different from the Arcade Gameplay that has always been Modern Warfare.

The game actually stands out in some aspect for the single player, extra development on the Campaign would had fix some issues and plot holes the story had. Overall since the Multiplayer is the core of this franchise, it does justice to the series and brings a heavier and fun experience to the fans, it’s a MUST BUY. Fans will give this game:

The different classes will help you adjust your gameplay and capture your objectives; it also will help you adjust to the situations depending on how your team is performing.

Multiplayer is the solid core of entertainment coming from a franchise which only focus has been the multiplayer but unfortunately the other added elements of the game suffered in the process, single Player Campaign story is not original and only 5 hours or less to completed really kills the hype, Co-Op can entertain for a few hours and the it can be forgotten after unlocking everything for the multiplayer and the PC version unfortunately suffers from EA and DICE incompetence at marketing and trying to fix something that wasn’t broken.

2 THUMBS UP/ 5 STARS OUT 5/ 9 OUT OF 10 AS A CALL OF DUTY GAMER:

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AS A CASUAL GAMER/ OPEN MINDED GAMER /NEVER PLAYED BATTLE FIELD BEFORE: The campaign won’t be as enjoyable as other games due to the story plot holes and lazy writing. The Multiplayer might be a different approach from what the market as offer and as games like Team Fortress or even Counter Strike, this game is good, mechanics and gameplay might be different to what these gamers are used to play but it doesn’t mean they can’t learn and enjoy what Battlefield can offer, Rent First to see if this game is the right for you, if you like team based tactical FPS, this is your game. Casual players will give this game:

I have to admit it, MW has a much better story than Battlefield 3 so the campaign and even Co-Op might not be worth the 4-5 hours you’ll have to in- A THUMBS UP / 4 STARS OUT OF 5 vest. If you like fast pacing rounds with / 7.5 OUT OF 10 domination overkills, playing as a One Man Army soldier and just try to win by killing and hording killstreaks, this is not your game. Yes Modern Warfare does require some level of Team play but this game requires your team to be as one, coordinate patiently and know what you are doing, it a whole different mechanic and this type of game will not satisfy your running and competitive nature, this game will be a Hit & Miss, either you understand how to play it or just fail at playing.

If I had to give a score I would divided like this:

CoD players, this is a RENT first and then criticize, it different from what have you play till now and it’s what can offer, if you have made your mind that CoD is better than BF, then don’t waste your time, F’IT. Hardcore CoD gamers that at least try to rate honestly this game will give it:

I give Battlefield 3

NO THUMBS UP OR DOWNS / 2 STARS OUT OF 5/ 5 OUT OF 10

A Thumbs Up

-PROS-

-CONS-

4 Stars out of 5

▲ Pulished Graphics and details proper for a Next Gen FPS.

▼ Uninspiring, lazy writing, plot holes, no character or story development beyond the main charcter on the Campaign.

7 Out of 10 Why so low? Because I see the game as a whole both Console and PC versions, the Single player is something important to me and I feel that the whole plot holes and lazy writing behind it unfortunately killed what could possibly be an amazing game.

Lack of development and execution on the Storytelling just leaves a bitter sweet taste of no fun and wtf moment.

Multiplayer is what saves this game, Team base action, amazing graphics and something different to what I’ve been playing during this years. It’s a good game but unfortunately it doesn’t stands out further than multiplayer.

▲ Outstanding Sound Design and Voice Acting. ▲ Multiplayer classes have the liberty to customise the equipment to your needs. ▲ Team Based Multiplayer at its BEST! Fans will not be dissapointed. ▲ Dedicated Servers. Not joking...

Buy It, Rent It, F*** It? 7 out of 10 - RENT first, it’s a hit & miss depending of your gaming taste and love for Single Player campaigns.

▼ Co-Op brings little added value. ▼ Music is forgettable. ▼ Quick time events animations and scene settings are rubish and unatural, because of this all the effort by the Frostbite engine falls down into the Uncanny Valley... ▼ PC version shenanigans (Origin tracking personal info, Battle Log and possible On Purpose overheating driver updates by NVIDIA) by EA and DICE states how much the PC Gaming Community is being alianated.

-REV

Another year, another Call of Duty title is released. The newest addition into the series takes us back into the modern era but is it worth your time and money?

VIEW-

By g1 ReturnofFable Second Opinion by g1 Hybrid Rain

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Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 Developers: Infinity Ward Sledgehammer Games Publisher: Activision System: PC, Xbox 360, PlayStation 3, Wii Release Date: November 8th, 2011

Graphics/Story Call of Duty has never been a groundbreaking series in terms of graphics and while Modern Warfare 3 is good-looking, it pales in comparison to other titles out on the market. Character models are only slightly better when compared to that of its predecessor, containing the same amount of detail found in Black Ops or even Modern Warfare 2. Where Modern Warfare 3 shines graphically however, is in its setting. The environments you find yourself fighting in are beautiful recreations of modern coun-

tries set in a war-torn world. Because this is a Modern Warfare game, you can expect there to be enough explosions to make Michael Bay jealous and this game, does not disappoint. While the game is full of plenty of explosions, none of them look any different compared to previous installments in the franchise.

Overall, the graphics in Modern Warfare 3 are nothing to get excited about.

Modern Warfare 3 takes place hours following the events of Modern Warfare 2 as the world has now been plunged into World War III. The single-player campaign will throw you into many different roles as you attempt to end the war which makes sense, given the plot of the story. Because of this though, it was difficult to stay emotionally connected to any of the characters. The constant jumping back-andforth between countries and their respective solider, almost gave the new characters a blank slate, writing them up to be just “another guy” rather than a badass hero. Thankfully, Infinity Ward has set up the

story so that all the memorable moments follow the beloved members of Task Force 141. After killing General Shepherd at the end of Modern Warfare 2, Price and Soap (no longer using their military ranks) want nothing more than the death of Makarov and are willing to fight the whole world to achieve that goal. This goal throws them into one hell of an adventure, leading up to one of the most satisfying final levels in any Call of Duty campaign. One complaint I did find about the campaign is that it is extremely short, capable of being completed in about six hours. Despite that fact, the campaign is still a fun experience and is definitely something you should not pass up.

Before we continue on with the review, I feel it is necessary to address one of the more controversial moments in the campaign. At the end of the first act, you come upon a scene where you witness a family last moments before they are killed by a chemical explosion. The game does come with a warning about the scene and like previous installments; it does ask you ahead of time whether or not you wish to view the scene.

In terms of the game’s plot, the scene does come out of nowhere and I have to agree that it does seem a bit unnecessary but it no way is it crude or maliciously.

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Gameplay At its core, the gameplay of Modern Warfare 3 has not changed since previous installments, you run around and shoot. The single-player campaign plays similarly to other campaigns in the FPS genre, guiding the player along from point A to B, while shooting bad guys along the way. On the multiplayer side of things, the controls still feel tight and gun-fights are fast-paced, favoring runand-gun gameplay. Many of the maps are big, featuring a lot of tight corridors and sharp corners in addition to one or two open areas. One of the biggest improvements in the map design is that almost every map is built to have sections that favor using a certain class of weapon. A section of the map will contain areas that have long lines of sights,

favoring assault rifles and snipers while another section is more confined, favoring submachine guns and shotguns. The maps are designed very well and have no glaring issues.

Spec-Ops mode returns in this game bringing with it two categories to choose from: Survival mode, where players face wave after wave of enemies and Mission mode, which plays similarly to the Spec-Ops missions found in Modern Warfare 2. Survival mode plays a lot like horde mode found in the Gears of War franchise, with the player fighting off wave after wave of increasingly challenging enemies, while earning currency to spend on new guns and air support to help them survive. Spec-Ops mode even comes with its own progression system, similar to the one found in

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the online multiplayer, with each new rank unlocking new upgrades for you to purchase to help you survive and new maps in both Mission and Survival mode. Some of the best additions to Modern Warfare 3 come with how much freedom you now have with customizing your classes. Primary weapons now come with the ability to select a proficiency, which can give your weapon certain special traits such as reduced recoil while shooting or the ability to use two attachments.

By far, the best addition they made to the player’s customization options is in selecting your Killstreaks. Killstreaks are now divided up into three separate “Strike Packages” called Assault, Support and Specialist. Assault Killstreaks behave similarly to the system found in

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previous installments where your streak count resets upon death and contains items that are built to punish the other team. Support Killstreaks contain bonuses that benefit your team, such as UAV’s and equip-able Ballistic Vests, and the streak count persists even after you die.

The Specialist packages forgoes earning you Killstreaks, choosing instead to reward you with an additional perk for every two, four and six kills, even going as far as giving you all of the perks in the game when you achieve an eight Killstreaks. In addition, rather than your Killstreaks being the same for every class you create, you may now give different classes different Killstreaks setups, taking the customization a step further.

The gameplay in the Modern Warfare series has always been well-made and fun to play but the additions that Modern Warfare 3 brings to the table, takes the experience to a whole new level.

Sound

Replayability

The sound in the game is phenomenal.

Composer Brian Taylor has done an amazing job of creating pieces that fit well in each moment within the campaign and in the multiplayer as well. My only complaint with the sound quality is that the sounds of guns firing and explosions tend to be overbearing compared to the tracks within the game. Rather than put in an option to lower the gun volume or music volume however, the developers decided to put in a master volume bar that lowers all of the game audio. This has always been a personal complaint I have had with the series, especially in the multiplayer component of the franchise, where hearing the level background music tends to cover up the sounds of footsteps and guns being fired. As great as the soundtrack is in this game, you may not be able to truly experience it when all of the action is going on.

The sad truth about the Call of Duty franchise is that it has always catered more towards the online side then the offline side. While the campaign is great, it is short, a fact that will turn off people looking for a great game to play by themselves. Spec-Ops mode will extend the lifetime of your game but you will still probably end up shelving it after a few months. If you have access to online play though, you are going to get a lot out of this game. With eighty ranks in online multiplayer and the option to prestige up to ten times, players will be in it for the long haul.

Conclusion Infinity Ward has proved once again that it can deliver a fantastic experience. Whatever your thoughts are about the Call of Duty franchise, you cannot deny that the improvements they have made with this installment, takes it to the next level. If you do not have an online connection, this is still a game you should not pass up. It might not be worth a buy but I would definitely recommend renting it, if only to experience the last chapter in the Modern Warfare campaign. But if you have access to the online play, this is one game that I guarantee will keep you busy for a long, long time.

Score: 8.5/10, Buy It

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Second Opinion After two years of development we finally have in our hands the last episode in the Modern Warfare series, but after all the changes and what happened to Infinity Ward, Sledgehammer stepping into development and Activision’s decisions, is this game still as good as its predecessors?

By g1 Hybrid Rain The following review is based of 12 hours of call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 (MW3) Single Player Campaign time and 100+ hours of MW3 Multiplayer gameplay.

Just in case you are wondering, I also have 45 Hours of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 (MW2) Single Player Campaign time and over 500 hours of MW2 Multiplayer gameplay so I was expecting a lot from this game. My opinion is based more on the PC version than the console version (Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3) although I have to say that since Call of Duty 4 (COD4 which I’ve played countless hours) this game is has been adapted more to Consoles than PC, why? Stick around for the review. Another thing I want to address is the whole debate Battlefield 3 vs. MW3; it is a waste of time to argue on this because each game is different on its gameplay, which one gives you more fun? It all depends on your game taste either for a tactical or arcade gameplay. This review is also based on the latest update version 1.4.368 on the PC. CAMPAIGN MW3 has a direct sequel wraps up the trilogy of the Modern Warfare series from the Call of Duty franchise, although it has its great plot twists and incredible WWIII setting, it disappoints in its execution. The marketing of the game was to sell and hype the setting of the next game, WWIII. Since MW2 I was really hype for the sequel and what would its story offer but I have to admit

that this campaign had a lot of lost potential and quickly became more of a Black Ops setting than a world in conflict scenario.

The Campaign can be completed in the easiest difficulty in less than 3 hours (I’m not joking) and in the hardest difficulty in about 5-6 hours which again is a shame, this is what COD has become, strong campaigns with a forgettable story and this saddens me that the FPS genre has come into put more effort and development on the Multiplayer of the games instead of the Single Player which is what should matter the most (yes I know Replayability this days means how many hours you can invest on Multiplayer but why can Single Player campaigns be on this area too?).

If we backtrack to MW2, we are briefed that the Ultranationalist has seize control of Russia making Imran Zakhaev (CoD4 main villain) a martyr and hero of the new Ultranationalist’s Russia.

Makarov, former Zakhaev’s lieutenant, during the course of 5 years has been committing numerous acts of terrorism against the west and main responsible of

the massacre of civilians in the Zakhaev International Airport in Moscow. Due to this massacre and the false evidence of this being a supported American Terrorist attack, Russia invades USA in retaliation of this massacre thus commencing the WWIII scenario.

Now without spoiling too much MW2 and MW3 I have to say that MW2 Story was amazingly written and it did brought a lot of interesting plot twists but what it lacks was gameplay time.

The campaign was really fun to play and it did a great job immersing the player into its plot, with more time into development it could had been one of the best Campaigns of the CoD franchise, (not to mention its music which was composed by Hans Zimmer and Lorne Balfe which was outstanding) if the developers would had shown this WWIII from more perspectives like from the Civilian, Police, Fire Fighter Perspectives, hell even from a war journalist it could had vary the gameplay making it a much pleasing experience.

Why not shown from those the war in all its glory and horrors.

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But going back to the Story of MW3 I must say that it was disappointing to a point, even with the help of 2 writers I can’t believe the whole concept of a contemporary WWIII plot lost so much potential, it felt like Halo 2; Let me explain. On Halo 2 many were expecting to defend Earth on the campaign (because many of the trailers and publicity showed being this being part of the main story) but in less than 2 missions suddenly we appear on Halo leaving Earth to its fate; Now going back to MW3 the problem again is the advertisement it received, it was WWIII, MW3; supposedly the majority of the world would be in conflict, Russians Allies against US Allies, the state of the world in front of this war affecting its neighbor countries all because one man’s will to burn to the ashes the world and take its control no matter what. Instead we had a 3 hour campaign that ties loose ends so fast that the entire plot can be resumed in a Michael Bay movie and that is not a compliment.

What bothers me is that the story is that the potential lost with this concept, with MW2 establishing the state of the conflict I can’t believe that in MW3 other perspectives outside of the main plot wouldn’t be included, that would had made the plot of the campaign much better and immersive.

Why not include the perspective of, let’s say… Police Officer Jane Doe, who in a routine call to the New York bay shows how is the peaceful city before the Russian Army suddenly erupts from the seas and skies, invading with a brute and cruel force against the people, how this officer in her duty now prioritizes the safety of and evacuation of the citi-

zens and on later acts this officer meets the main Delta squad characters whose actions make the Russian army withdraw from New York. Or how about the perspective of a civilian who shows in his/her perspective how his/her family in the middle of the invasion, the loss of their friends or how about re taking Pvt. Ramirez’ operation to protect US soil from the invaders? Why I think my plot sounds much better than the original plot of the campaign?

I understand that this is a World War setting and the possibilities to show the horrors and actions of a war could had been placed in this storyline, maybe making the story more open to different endings depending of your actions and objectives achieved. The big problem of the campaign’s story is the gap of events that are missing to make it a ground breaking plot and I’ll have to quote IGN’s review to enforce my opinion behind it: “great multiplayer, [a] fun

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campaign, tons of content, but [also] a forgettable story.”. With this statement it shows how the hard truth, the Infinity Ward we once knew is long gone and this kind of storytelling for these games might be what is left for the franchise.

I think that in Story exposure MW3 is the opposite to what Metal Gear Solid 4 (MGS4) is, maybe developers are afraid to be criticize that their game is a “movie” or something apparently by making the opposite to MGS4 and giving less exposition and just explosions, go from point A to Point B, killing everything on your path or be as stealthy as you can by following the AI. I think what this genre and the CoD franchise needs is a better way to make the campaign appealing to the player so it comes back for more even with a solid multiplayer integrated.

MW2 raised the bar really high for this game, too bad the writers weren’t able to bring a much better and epic plot for this game although it does wrap up very well in the final act which was satisfying and I’m ok with that.

SPECIAL OPS Coming back from MW2 and combining the horde mode brings a package for single or 2 player co-op play on Survival Mode which is a “tactical” horde mode were you survive until you guess it, you die. Mission Mode brings based objective maps, complete the objectives and level up and obtain equipment

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to use only in the Special Ops missions.

The main incentive is to jump with your friend and have fun for a while. From the 69 stars MW2 offered, MW3 brings 48 stars now, my opinion about it is that I feel that at least it has better maps than the Multiplayer has now, it is an added value to the game, good for those who want to break world record time on this challenges.

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SCREWATTACK MAGAZINE - DECEMBER GRAPHICS

This game uses the IW Engine version 5.0 (IW5.0) which might look much better than the previous engine IW4.0 used on MW2 but it doesn’t bring much improvement to the looks of the game.

One thing about this engine is that 3D models with low poly-count does look in high definition even in the Lowest graphical settings and the Hardcore setting can be manage by most PC in the market, you do not required to buy a new graphic card to play this game, a positive fact about this engine but it comes with a price.

While it makes the scenery and characters render good it does look outdated, objects dynamics have a limit and curiously they added a “cutscene” which looked really bad, the in-game cinematics looked much better than that cutscene, maybe that’s the reason why the CoD has no pre-rendered cutscenes, the IW Engine must not export a good quality. In addition to the graphics there is the movement and animations used for the characters which I’ll say it’s a complete rehash of MW2. Animation

cycles, character’s movements, reload animations and even still after 6 games the characters are flying torsos with no legs or feet to see on the screen. This is the People’s Exhibit A, yes it is normal to companies to sometimes rehash some work from previous games, but when you just slap in the main core of the game pretty graphics and not do “any change” to make the difference between games, which is just lazy and pure mediocre development. But I’ll give credit where credit is due; most of the in-game cinematics animation felt more real and natural making it a real satisfying experience, I don’t want to spoil much let’s say a certain hand to hand fighting scene felt fluently and natural, each hit and action did looked amazing, coming from a CoD game says a lot.

A good example of this animations rehash is the Multiplayer. In just the first hour you play this games online you’ll notice at some point that all of the stupid MW2 animations are there, wondering if you are playing MW3 or MW2.

A big disappointment by the developers in this, shame on you.

AUDIO One thing that Activision and Infinity Ward has done well is the SFX development for the CoD franchise, each sound for weapons, environment, objects, equipment and even voice acting is top notch and for MW3 the development wasn’t that bad.

Voice acting as always was done perfect, each one of the characters voice actors kept the characters personalities alive and really made the story fluid through the storytelling, unfortunately the potential of this storytelling was lost by the gameplay time, 3 hours of campaign doesn’t make justice to this game characters and plot.

The SFX of gunfire unfortunately doesn’t show much development from previous games, yes it has good SFX for the guns and reloads but I don’t really know if it is because of the IW Engine capabilities for sound reproduction or the Sound Design team didn’t develop further sounds in the environment but most of the sounds feels too much “in your face”. There is no “environmental filtering” affecting the SFX in these game, inside tunnels or close places there is no echo or filter of the sound depending of its surrounds; the shoots from a player at the other site of the map sounds exactly as if was firing at you at 100 feet, there is variety in the sound design which is another backtrack for the game showing us that it doesn’t offers anything new for the player.

Now I want to talk about the music which I must say I was surprised of who was composing this game’s music. MW2 was by far my favorite and the most amazing Original Soundtrack (OST) I heard back in 2009, each piece was composed by Hans Zimmer and Lorne Balfe, Hollywood composers that really brought a bigger immersion to the game.

The score for the Campaign was outstanding and each one represented perfectly the feeling of the scene, war and betrayal; it made the story felt more like a movie, a good well written and composed one; my favorite scores are: Boneyard - Flyby, Cliffhanger - Escape, Estate- Betrayal and End Credits.

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Each of these scores sums up the quality and immersion that brings the story of MW2, Glory, Betrayal and Horror; it gives me chills every time I replay the campaign, this OST is perfect. So what happened on MW3? The music is… well… something.

Don’t get me wrong, the composer for this game was Brian Tyler who composed the music for several films like Frailty, The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift, Rambo (2008) and Battle: Los Angeles (I liked that film, what?) and those are really good OST. Unfortunately I feel that the story of MW3 didn’t brought many interesting ways to play along with the OST, since it was more action oriented this time, the narrative and plots didn’t gave the OST the opportunity to shine in the game.

Most of the scores for the game doesn’t bring much attention or feeling to what is happening and like I said before, this game feels directed by Michael Bay and that doesn’t mean is a good thing.

It is sad to see this music overlooked but the game’s Campaign doesn’t make justice to it and Brian Tyler did what he could to compose the music, sometimes the OST makes the game but this is not the case; I have to admit the only song that really pumps me up is Battle for New York. MW2 OST raised the bar really high and unfortunately maybe the problems with Infinity Ward and Activision made the poor decisions to fix something that wasn’t broken.

GAMEPLAY It keeps being a CoD game, the Arcade gameplay stick on the Multiplayer and even on Special Ops so for anyone who has played CoD before will be familiarize with the type of game it will be played. But I have to mention that the game has been transform to fit the needs of the Console gamers nowadays, a big example of this is the customization of the keys for the PC, there is no Lean Left or Lean Right which believe it or not it does make the difference in this type of games specially for FPS on PC. There has been big changes and balancing on this game, making it the most balanced game in the whole CoD

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franchise combining the good factors from CoD4 and MW2, eliminating perks that were overpowered and the famous “Dolphin Diving” due to balancing issues. Killstreaks has been renamed to Pointstreaks, now depending of the type of game you are playing; you will be able to get points for using the Killstreak of your preference. There are 3 type of Pointstreaks now: Assault, Support and Specialist.

Perks has been revamped too with new and old perks. Just like before there are 3 slots each with different perks for your class, this time there are 15 perks with 6 Deathstreaks (I though no one liked this, Activision lied about the removal of these noob enhancers).

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Although this balances are great for having a “fair” game matches, it doesn’t bring any new features that makes it different from its predecessors, to just borrows the best from those games and it rehashes animations, weapons and brings perks abilities that although covers some abilities equipment did before, some are not effective at all. I must say this gameplay experience doesn’t’ feel like MW3, this version that we are playing is Modern Warfare 2.5: Balanced Edition.

It might be the most balanced CoD so far but it doesn’t mean it has it flaws.

I have encountered a lot of problems while playing that really backtracks the development of the multiplayer of this game, solutions so simple that a simple patch can fix but unfortunately the developers fail to see on release and maybe can’t be changed due to the core of the gameplay.

Maps: These are the most boring and non-reactive maps I’ve played. 90% of the maps are urban liked and doesn’t bring back much strategy into game, besides it depends of the type of game you play for getting these maps. Ground War (You can play Team Deathmatch, Domination or Kill Confirm) only uses 10 maps of the 16 available, making the game monotonous at some times, yeah some of these maps might be too big for 18 players but that’s the thing!

This is a PC game too, the only reason I play Ground War is because it has more players and these maps for 12 players unfortunately makes the game slower and sometimes empty, that extra 6 players does make the difference. But

another problem with these maps is that it gets rid of the Sniper class.

Sniper Class got grounded: The design of the maps is really for close encounters, there is not a single map were you will be motivated to create and use a Sniper Class making some perks and equipment useless by many people and yes it can be fixed with Maps DLC but that’s not the point, why do I have to pay for maps that will fix a problem that should had been noticed by the development team? Those who plays with Sniper Rifles either campers or really l337 gamers that learned how to quick scope. No excuse here.

Dedicated Servers? Nope, it is a lie: Further updates for the PC version brought the Dedicated Servers; MW2 didn’t have dedicated servers making the community angry and alienated.

Unfortunately on MW3 the dedicated servers are the most archaic system I’ve used in a PC game. CoD4 and Black Ops had a great server browser, Black Ops had one of the best with the separation of Ranked and Unranked Matches depending of what you want to play and each server regardless allowed you to use your custom classes but in MW3 dedicated servers only allow you to use the Default classes the game offers and that actually sucks, sometimes the servers doesn’t even work. Why downgrade something as simple as a PC Dedicated Server Browser Activision? Why???

Hackers: Yes, this is a big problem on this game. Steam does have a system to report abusers and hackers but unfortunately that doesn’t stop hackers

easily. The big problem is that Hackers can change their name so no one can find it on the list to report, MW3 doesn’t have a system to report players easily, sure you can now upload replays saved on your PC but there is no way to share this with mods. Inside the game there is no way to kick or ban the player so this is why the IW system doesn’t work; it doesn’t give the players the ability to report these kinds of abuses.

Blast Shield Pro is broken: when a perk doesn’t work we have a big problem. Blast Shield is supposed to be the anti-perk against Noobtobers and Explosive Whores, the problem here is that the perk on Pro it supposed to make you immune or Resistant to Flash and Stun Grenades, I tested the perk already and there is no difference if you have the perk, Flash and Stun grenades still affect you and explosives damage might be reduced less than 20% which in my opinion should had been at least 75%-80%, why? BECAUSE IT IS A PERK! If it was equipment is understandable the difference of protection but being a Perk it should had more protection and its Pro status should work. This can be fix with a patch sure, but why hasn’t been fixed then???

I could go on with the problems but I think I have made my point now, just to add, Call of Duty: Elite brings for a price what Bungie has brought to their players for free (by the way there is still no Elite for the PC version). Deathstreaks were supposed to be eliminated (No Martyrdom, Final Stand and anything that busted noobs) but those are still present in the multiplayer.

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CONCLUSION

As a CoD Fan

As a Battlefield Gamer

This is not the Infinity Ward we once knew. Activision has turn a franchise into a 13-year old fest of immature swearing and hacking, it’s sad to see that real players that have skill can’t be notice, instead are being accused of Hackers or Campers. They had 2 years to work on this game but what finally came was the Halo: ODST of the CoD franchise. I’m a CoD player, I have always been but apparently I’ll just have to turn my head in disappointment and bury this game and go back to the old school days of Counter-Strike and even the Original Halo.

It’s the same gimmick and the same arcade gameplay you like now with a more balanced perk and Pointstreak system. CoD: Elite will bring you “Elite” stats that most can be found in the free version but for a full experience you’ll have to pay a fee. DLC might come soon to add more Map Packs for “enhancing” your fun and if you still want to add 15$ more to this game and you have done it before you won’t be disappointed. Unfortunately you’ll still going to have problems with hackers but as previous games you have learned to deal with them so no problems, same formula for you. For fans of the Modern Warfare franchise it’s a BUY.

Modern Warfare 3 will not bring anything new for your entertainment, tactical team work is Battlefield’s game, CoD is the whole opposite and its flaws on its gameplay will affect your fun. Do not buy this game, F’IT.

Multiplayer might be the hardcore piece of this game but as I said previously is just MW2.5: Balanced Edition.

I have wrote a negative review about this game, not just for trolling or making it look bad, but for pointing out the big flaws of the development of these type of games. What gamers are playing right now is a gimmick, we must show developers that we gamers deserve more than the icing on the cake not a rehash of previous versions of the games and focus all development on Multiplayer when the real Replayability should be found in the Campaign and most importantly, it must be fun and entertain you.

I want to make this game pay the price of the incompetence and bad decisions from a greedy company, I know this is business but there are ways to get that money with quality and decent products offered to us gamers, but I can’t.

This game is not bad but overrated, sure it has done what every gaming company wants, become its Goose of the Golden Eggs and with an annual release now we already know the quality of game we will receive on the future and to who are these games targeted.

60$ dollars for a balanced version is not worth it.

A Thumbs Up / 4 Stars out of 5 / 8 out of 10 As a Casual Gamer The single player campaign is fun to play and if you have played the previous games you’ll end up wrapping up what it has been develop during this last 5 years in the MW franchise, unfortunately this ride will be over as soon it starts. The game offers a fast arcade paced multiplayer but unfortunately if you are really nitpicky about the balanced of the gameplay, you will find it hard to enjoy. F’it for the PC version but if you have a PS3 or Xbox 360 RENT it and try if this is your type of game.

CoD Modern Warfare 2 showed us the grim possibility of a World War III with a brilliant OST and a story line that had potential.

Call of Duty Modern Warfare 3 unfortunately shows us that Activision and Infinity Ward won’t give us a decent title soon.

-PROS-

-CONS-

▲ IW Engine 5.0 doesn’t requires buying a new graphics card for PC.

▼ Campaign lasts 3 hours, loss of potential in the story.

▲ Campaign wraps up epicly the Modern Warfare franchise.

▼ Dedicated Servers Browser.

▲ Multiplayer is finally balanced. ▲ Pointstreaks are balanced and uncontrolable, no End Game Nuke.

No thumbs Up or Down

Buy It, Rent It, F*** It?

7 out of 10

CoD 4 Modern Warfare brought to the public how a Modern Shooter should be done, they succeeded.

No Thumbs Up or Down / 3 Stars out of 5 / 6 out of 10

I give Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3

3 Stars out 5

A Thumbs Down / 2 Stars out of 5 / 2 out of 10

7 out of 10 - F’IT for the PC, RENT first for the consoles. Story might be strong but only worth 3 hours.

▼ SFX and Graphics although impressive are outdated. ▼ Multiplayer on PC can be frustrating because of hackers, connection problems and Latency. ▼ Multiplayer map design don’t appeal and make the Sniper Class, some perks and abilities useless.

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-REV

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In 2009, the Dark Knight himself crashed the Joker’s take over party at Arkham Asylum and Developer Rocksteady delivered Game of the Year with the release of Batman Arkham Asylum. The Caped Crusader is back into action and the Asylum have moved to the City.

Will the Worlds Greatest Detective’s newest video game adventure be able to deliver fans expectations after 2009’s Game of the Year?

By g1 IceSpikes

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Batman Arkham City Developer: Rocksteady Studios Publisher: Warner Bros. Interactive Entertainment Square Enix (Japan) Systems: PC, Xbox 360 & PS3 Release Date: October 18th, 2011

Story The writing in Arkham City is Excellent.

The story takes you to the part of Gotham City that was made into a prison and now is been taken over by the criminals confined within the walls of this facility called Arkham City. All this hell gets lose in the city really makes you feel the full Dark Knight experience.

Arkham City is been controlled by Hugo Strange but the Criminals within Arkham are trying to overrun it. The City is crowded with thugs. Joker’s gang, Penguin’s gang and Tow Face’s gangs are controlling their own territories.

These iconic criminal gangs are heavily

armed and Dr. Strange does not seem to mind these thugs having their own agendas.

Completing the main story of Arkham City is probably going to take around 8 to 10 hours, but there is plenty more to do on Arkham. Side missions are focused on their own mini stories that add more depth to the Batman experience. The writing for the side missions is dedicated to other villains and anti-heroes within Arkham. This stories feel well develop and the writing fully embrace the characters they have been created for.

Catwoman’s story is well integrated into the main story, but we all know that

been Catwoman she always has her own agenda. Arkham City main story is so well crafted it leads you by the hand to where you need to go. There is so much to do in Arkham City, by only checking your map or turning on your detective mode players will find yourself the drifting off to one of the many side missions it have.

Gameplay Players start Arkham City with part of the arsenal that Batman had on Arkham Asylum. The gadgets are very familiar and easy to get into and learn how to use. More gadgets will unlock as you progress through the story and later players will have the ability to upgrade them as they level up. Other gadgets will upgrade as soon as the game need them to.

Batman Arkham City maintains a leveling up system were the player gets experience points awarded from any of the combat sessions or any of the predator rooms they complete.

These experience points are shared and use on upgrades for ether Batman or Catwoman. There are 5 different gameplay items that you can upgrade: Batsuit, Gadgets, Combat, Predator, and Catwoman. Players can only chose one upgrade per level with the

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opportunity to pick the upgrades they want from the ones available at the time the next Level is achieved.

Combat in Arkham City is similar to the one on Arkham Asylum. Players are able to use attacks, counters, gadgets, and normal take downs to increase the combo counter number. Keeping the combo counter going will unlock special take downs to include on the fight. As the player finish the fight experience points will be awarded. When players achieve the next level, they are able to add one upgrade to any of the Gameplay Items they wish. The only difference on the combat is the addition of the upgrades and it is well implemented.

The Predator Rooms are fun and upgrading gadgets will give players more options on how to clear the rooms quickly. The Detective mode helps players see high points on the predator maps, hiding places, and to obtain enemy counts and enemy conditions.

Planning how to take your opponents form the shadows is as fun as I remember from Arkham Asylum. Catwoman has a different feel when playing her in the Predator rooms. This is excellent and it delivers a different experience when playing with Catwoman.

Moving around Arkham City is done by one of his new mechanics in this game: Gliding. The gliding feels very natural

and makes it easy to get through Gotham city. The main story will teach players the basics of gliding and some side missions will serve as training to help players improve on controlling Batman air movement.

Some of the Side missions include a Crime Scene set-up. The Crime Scene has Batman looking for clues on a certain area and scanning them to get to a conclusion. Conclusions are done automatically after the right clues are found and scanned at the crime scene.

There are many side missions that are dependent on the items you have collected through the game. Others will be available after certain points of the main story are completed. This gives players many options on what to do at Arkham.

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Graphics The level of detail for Arkham City is impressive. Every place you go to feels alive. The City art style is Gothic and Dark. It is very fitting for the Dark knight. Everything forms the alleys to the billboards and the iconic Gotham City buildings help the players get immerse into the Batman experience.

The lighting in the City is well placed and it will allow you to enjoy the Gothic environments will all there details.

There are some buildings that are used throughout the story. These building are very well developed to represent the parts of Gotham City they are inspired from. Character Models are extremely detail. Players will see the Damage over time on Batman’s Suit and Catwoman’s outfit. The rest of the Cast including the

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SCREWATTACK MAGAZINE - DECEMBER main story are completed the game will allow players to freely switch between Batman and Catwoman at any time by accessing one of the Characters Switch Point marked on the map. This will allow accessing all the collectables available in Arkham City.

other villains and characters for the game are extremely detail as well. All characters feel true to who they are in the Batman universe.

Sound The Music Score is as elegant as a Batman game should be. The rightful tunes will star depending on the situations you are in. The music played when in combat is very empowering to the player therefore it increases the excitement within the Batman experience.

Voice Actors Kevin Conroy and Mark Hamill are back fulfilling their iconic roles form Arkham Asylum as Batman and the Joker. They deliver the perfect personality to bring these characters alive through their voices.

Re-playability Like I mention before, the game will take players around 8 to 10 hours to finish the main story, but his only completes about 25% of the game.

Playing the game only once does not do the players or the game justice.

This is because there is so much to do in Arkham with all the side missions, and collectables throughout the city.

There are hundreds of Riddler’s trophies to find, plus Batman has a number of Navigational, Combat, Gadget, and Predator challenges to complete.

The rest of the iconic cast of villains has excellent voice work also. Penguin, Catwoman, Tow Face, and all the others have very good voice actors to help the delivery of their personalities. All voice performance was fitting to each of the characters.

After completing the main story, players will unlock the New game + mode. This mode allow the players to restart the game main story with all the gadgets the have acquired for the previous play-through. This mode also will keep the level of the player, the challenges players have completed, and the collectables they have acquired from their first play-through. It also makes the game more challenging by removing the counter indicators and changing the enemy arrangements from the first play-through.

All attacks and gadgets have the right sounds to go with them. From the sound of the baterang hitting a switch or the batclaw grappling into a building roof top to launch into the air to the sound of Batman’s cape cutting through the wind as you speed up while gliding, everything sounds original and genuine.

New game + mode shares the information of the player’s stats with the original game mode. Players are allowed to go back into the Original game and work on completing the side missions and finish upgrading your arsenal at any time after finishing the main story. Also, when all parts of the

In addition to the main game replayability, the game revisits the Challenge Rooms. Challenge Rooms are unlocked through the collectables of the game and accessed through the Riddler’s Revenge at the main menu. There are 12 Combat rooms and 12 Predator rooms within Riddler’s Revenge. The Challenge Rooms have 3 medals to obtain on each one of them.

The Combat room’s medals are based on the score the player gets during the fights. In the other hand, the Predator room’s medals are based on game action objectives. These objectives have you complete specific tasks to earn the medals.

The Riddle’s Revenge uses all 24 challenge rooms in different modes.

These modes are the Rank Medals mode, and the Campaign Medals mode. In the Rank medals mode the player choose a single challenge map to complete. In the Campaign medals mode the player has a choice of 12 Campaigns. These Campaigns consist of a combination of 3 different challenge rooms to complete plus the player have different modifiers that need to be used throughout the chosen campaign.

Batman Arkham City will give players many reasons to go back and replay the game. Just because is fun. For Batman fans the inclusion of other heroes like Robin and Nightwing will add changes to the Challenge room’s gameplay.

Conclusion Batman Arkham City is a solid follow up to Batman Arkham Asylum. They expands on what the first did right and manages to keep it fun and very interesting. Its dedicated design, solid story and excellent gameplay are worth the time invested on the game.

This game really delivers an extremely satisfying experience. Even if you are not a fan of Batman, Arkham City is an exceptional game that everyone should experience.

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Rating 9 - Buy it

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-REV

Can you really think of a Wii game this year, nay, any year since the consoles launch that has been more anticipated then the latest in the long running, critically acclaimed Zelda franchise? I didn’t think so. Skyward Sword is finally here and it’s been getting a lot of buzz from critics and fans alike, does it live up to the hype? Or do the new controls let the team down? Let’s find out.

By g1 The Stickman

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The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword Developers: Nintendo EAD Publisher: Nintendo System: Wii Release Date: November 20th, 2011

THE CONTROLS WORK I think the biggest fear over Skyward Sword, at least on my behalf was over the hugely altered combat style, and the reliance on Wii Motion Plus in order to play the game. Would it work to an enjoyable degree, and then would it require jumping around the room and flailing your arms about like a fucking madman? Well, I can happily put your fears to rest, the controls work fine (Minus some issues I’ll go into later), and thanks to the way Motion Plus works you don’t even need to sit up so the sensor bar can pick up your controller, slob away nerds, slob away! Onto the controls themselves, the days of mashing the B button are gone, you now need to take a bit of time, and properly aim your slashes in order to progress through the game, which tracks your hand movements to an insanely accurate degree. Sure, some enemies just require a simple slash, but even then, waggling about frantically like you did in Twilight Princess won’t get you very far, enemies will constantly require you to change the angles of your slashing, and later in the game will punish you

severely for getting it wrong. Elsewhere, everything from arrows to vase throwing now requires some motion controlling, and whilst it’s a bit strange you can no longer simply press A to throw vases and rocks anymore, once you’ve got used to it (And you’ll have to, as bombs work the same way) you’ll be bowling and throwing like a...well, not

a pro, but good enough. It all works well, but the non-sword highlights are the Golden Beetle, which is a bit like a remote controlled Batarang in Arkham City, except you move it with your hand rather than a joystick, as well as the trusty arrows, which feel very satisfying to aim and fire at enemies...mm...yep, these controls work well.

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ARTISTICALLY STUNNING Whilst it may not be the biggest powerhouse on the market graphically, there is simply no denying that from an artistic point of view, Skyward Sword is gorgeous. As many have previously stated, the game is a blend of the “realistic” style of Twilight Princess and the cel shaded style of Wind Waker, but what a lot of people have failed to mention is how the game is basically trying to look like a moving watercolor painting, this is particularly notable when things blur in the background, leaving a strange but pretty canvas like effect on the sky when it does. Character animations, both in the body and facial department are much improved on previous games, with the characters far better able to express realistic emotions then they were in Twilight Princess, or Ocarina of Time for that matter. There’s not a single location that won’t have you stunned to some degree, with the hub world of Skyloft, its surrounding branches of islands, and the final boss of the game are the artistic highlights in a wonderful vat that oozes charm and creativity far more than all your Skyrims and Battlefield 3’s.

EPIC CAMPAIGN Saying Zelda has an epic campaign is like saying NewAttack has failed as a community hub, it’s just something you know and expect to be heard from people (Nice little, subtle dig there, right?), but Skyward Sword really ups the ante in terms of story, presentation and, oh yes, dungeons. Okay, so, without going into too many spoilers the basic plot is still the same as ever, strange lowly person by the name of Link rises up and meets his destiny as a great darkness of some description takes hold of the land, blah blah blah, yep. And that is still great as a basic premise, but what Sky-

ward Sword does to set itself out from previous games is...well...do exactly what they did, but better, it has memorable locations, characters and creatures that will leave you desperate to play on even though you already probably know how it’s all going to plan out.

The main cast of characters is far more involved in the story now, you’ll still come across memorable bit-parts in each beautifully designed and crafted region, but for the first time in a Zelda game, I really felt like I had people on my side from beginning to end. But, let’s face it, a Zelda game just isn’t a Zelda game if it doesn’t have great, memorable dungeons, right? Well don’t worry because, without spoiling anything, Skyward Sword features some of the most ingenious and delightful dungeons in Zelda history and it’s not just...well...I’ll get to that later, but simply put, Skyward Sword sets the new benchmark for epic in the Zelda franchise, with a closing final sequence that will make your jaw drop and wonder if this is really happening.

GREAT VALUE FOR MONEY These days yadda yadda, games too short yadda yadda, no value for money blah blah BLAH, yes, I think I’ve said shit like that enough now, but it’s true that the majority of modern games rarely offer a substantial amount of content for the increasing costs you’re paying to play them. Fear not though, for whilst Skyward Sword may lack any multi-player component (Thank god), the campaign itself is a long, meaty one and features plenty of delicious garnish on the side. Although Nintendo suggested the game might last 50-100 hours, my main campaign clocked in at about 31, obviously Nintendo were stretching that time...a tad, but 31 hours of main story with only a few short side excursions along the way is nothing to be scoffed at. Side Missions have made a welcome return and are more on a line with Wind Waker rather than Twilight Princess, which feature plenty of mini-games but, unless I missed them completely, few side missions beyond “COLLECT ALL THIS SHIT BLAH BLAH BLAH”. All your side missions are dedicated entirely to the sky, not the ground, and whilst none of them are particularly lengthy, with the longest being

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based around the other side missions, as many will provide you with “Gratitude Gems” which are crucial in order to progress through a side mission which I will not spoil, but it’s great. You’ve also got another selection of mini-game islands which are, once again run by weird, sex offender like people, as well as a Boss Rush mode that is unlocked late into the game, which allows you to tackle the games bosses one after the other, with large Rupee deposits going to whoever can make it all the way through. A first for the Zelda franchise is the edition of “Hero Mode” which allows you to write over your completed save file with a new one which removes heart drops from enemies, increases the difficulty in general and alters some of the text. When you take into consideration Hero Mode, I suppose you could say that the game can last upwards of 60 hours, which, in case you’re too retarded to realize, fantastic value for money.

FIXES MANY FLAWS OF THE PREVIOUS GAMES We all love a bit of Zelda, but, let’s face it; it’s not perfect by any means. And whilst Skyward Sword isn’t perfect either, it’s closer than the franchise has ever been to that most special of quality standards. Firstly, and biggest of all, the game structure has been completely overhauled, gone are the days where you’d beat a dungeon, then face a lengthy, generally uneventful gap of dull treks back and forth in order to get things from people to go somewhere else, do something there then go back and get an item then go to the dungeon. Now the journey to the dungeon is, in itself a dungeon. Once you’ve completely a dungeon, you go to one place, unlock the next area,

descend down there, and then bam, you’re straight into more puzzle solving, fighting, item collecting and exploring, just like you would in a dungeon. This makes the game feel far more exciting to play, and, perhaps unfortunately for your loved ones (If you have any) removes the whole “That’s the dungeon complete...I’ll do all the crap tomorrow, then do the dungeon the next day”, because it’s all so fun and exciting you just want to play and play and play and pla-Oh shit, the cat’s dead.

markers, which you can place a limited amount of onto your map, and that will then be marked in-game by a shaft of blue light which will then help you find your way to particular locations and characters. Dowsing with your sword for hidden objects is also a great addition, and all three of these things ease the frustration I’ve personally felt in past Zelda’s. There are a few other things that have been improved, all in all providing a more pleasurable Zelda experience than ever before.

Beyond this huge improvement, lots of smaller ones have also come around, entrances to rooms and houses in Skyloft are now clearly labeled once you’ve visited them once, both on the map and in the game, meaning you no longer have to memorize where you need to go for side missions and to talk to one of the many people with weird names you won’t ever remember. Also helping with navigation is the addition of checkpoint

THE SOUNDTRACK Whilst I was disappointed that the majority of the game lacked the much hyped orchestral soundtrack, I must say when that shit kicks in, you will notice it, and you will love it. Whilst the ambient background tracks to the various locations and dungeons are nice enough, they pale in comparison to the sheer beauty of the orchestral scored tunes. These are mostly assigned to boss battles, but the above, orgasmic track pipes up whenever you hop on your trusty bird-steed and fly about the sky, making part of me wish I didn’t have someplace to be...I think I’d rather just flap about, listening to ear melting tuneskies. The boss tunes are similarly outstanding, but they are for you to discover, not for me to spoil...the same goes for the credit song which...well, to call it moving to any Zelda fan like myself would be an understatement, because it’s fucking outstanding.

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CENTER THIS, ASSHOLE! Yeah, so the controls may work, but they are let down by the tech under the, frankly awesome golden Wiimote because you’ll find yourself constantly needing to re-center your marker whilst using it for anything from arrows to, most annoying of all, swimming. Well, when I say “you’ll” I, of course mean I did, and I’ve heard a greatly divided number of opinions from people over whether or not they had to use it, with some saying they never once touched the, admittedly simple enough “Centre” button, and others saying they had to do so on such a wealth of times that it spoiled the game. Personally, I had to do it quite a lot, but it only really be-

came especially annoying in one sequence which required you to swim for a long period of time which was a god damn nightmare because the swimming controls are based around moving your remote in the same way the Golden Beetle’s are, problem is that when the game loses track of your position, Link begins to sway to the right or left, like a broken car, when said moment required the upmost precision, this quickly became extremely annoying. I don’t feel like I’m lying when I said that re-centering was a recurring problem throughout the game, but is so simple to remedy that it only became an actual hindrance at this one, short sequence.

Still, it’s a bad thing and that’s why it’s in “The Bad” section. HMMF.

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GRAPHICALLY MEH, TEXT BUBBLES FEEL DATED Whilst art-wise, the game is a stunner, Skyward Sword is massively let down by the Wii itself. Okay, so graphics aren’t everything, but this game was a long time coming and it’s clear a lot of time was spent on looks, so it’s a damn shame when my immersion is spoiled by the same square fingertips, flat tree’s and clipping issues that have plagued every blockbuster Wii title since the day it came out.

Links hat STILL goes through his shield... after a decade of 3D Zelda games, why has this most simple of flaws not been fixed yet? Great lengths have clearly been gone to in order to make the cutscenes more cinematic and animated than ever before, but this is all ruined when the faces of the characters are at times abysmally animated, the lips in particular, deliver a hugely mixed performance ranging from spectacularly expressive to OH MY GOD I CAN SEE THE FILLED IN BACK OF HIS MOUTH AHHHH. It’s clear now that we reached the peak of the Wii’s graphical powers a few years back, and whilst as an artistic and cinematic package, Skyward Sword is easily the best looking thing on the console, we’ve seen more rounded,

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less distractingly flawed graphics on the console in games like Super Mario Galaxy and Metroid Prime 3, in other words, a long time ago. Here’s hoping the Wii U will give Nintendo’s games the graphical kick up the arise they deserve.

ONLY GIVES THE ILLUSION OF DEPTH AND CHALLENGES. My biggest worry with Skyward Sword beyond its controls were the additional elements that had been added such as limited item storage space, save points, stamina bars and...oh yes, upgrading.

Well, my worries were unfounded because every single one of these additions is completely pointless as the game never leaves you in a sticky situation regarding these things once.

Sure, you have a limited amount of stamina to roll, run and climb, that may sound challenging to tackle, but Nintendo stick handy refill fruit...things whenever any resemblance of a tight spot could be found.

Sure, having to find a save point may sound like it could result in a desperate dash to save your progress before you get killed and lose it all, but they are so abundant in every location a n d dun-

geon they might as well have not been there. And that brings us to upgrading...my biggest fear, the reason I hate RPG’s so much is that I have to constantly and mundanely grind through low level enemies in order to progress through anything interesting, what if Nintendo had done the same here?

What if I had to slash through enemies to gather enough items to upgrade my weapons in order to progress through the ne-No, you don’t.

Upgrading is a completely pointless addition to the game, beyond adding extra play time to spruce up your gear so it’s faster and more powerful, you never NEED to do any of it, your shield having a life bar may sound daunting until you realize that you never once lose more than a tiny portion of that bar, and you can later buy one that fixes itself...thus making all the repairing potions and upgrades completely pointless.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad these things are mostly optional additions so RPG-nerds can snort and chuckle and brag about their fully upgraded bow and arrow.

I’m just confused as to why they bothered with it all in the first place; it’s just wasted space on my HUD.

SCREWATTACK MAGAZINE - DECEMBER SHUT THE FUCK UP FI Midna and Navi may have been annoying, but at least they had a personality and were...USEFUL. Your newest companion, Fi, who resides in your sword, is a waste of space, both as a character and a tool. Whilst I won’t go into story details (Which would of been nice to do because I’d of had more fodder), Fi is Zelda’s equiva-

lent of a Pokedex, she spouts pointless percentages and useless enemy descriptions throughout the game, and when specifically pushed for help, she is about as knowledgeable as a carrot, generally spouting the current objective when asked for a hint, which really should be...y’know, a hint.

To make matters worse she treats you, the player like a baby, minus the final dungeon of the game, good luck finding any resemblance of achievement from solving puzzles, you may figure it out, only to approach it and have Fi pop out and tell you exactly how to do it. Worse still, she feels a desire to point out the FUCKING OBVIOUS SHIT “Oh master, your hearts are low, perhaps you should do something about that” , “Oh master, that’s a chest, if you open it, stuff will be inside” gee wizz Fi, thanks for that! I wouldn’t have known otherwise DURR HURRHURHURHUHDUUURR. Fi is probably the worst companion in a Zelda game ever,

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sure, she’s not annoying as such, but she doesn’t...she doesn’t DO ANYTHING. FUUUCKK! WORTH PLAYING? It’s games like this that make your 2006 purchase of the Wii feel worthwhile, sure (at the risk of sounding like Fi), fuck all comes out for it 99% of the year, but when that 1% is a Skyward Sword or a Super Mario Galaxy, you won’t regret forking out the dough.

If you’re a Zelda fan, you’ve probably already bought this, but needless to say it’s going to give you the same joys you want and expect from the franchise, but this time things have been shaken up enough to feel fresh and exciting all over again.

Basically, it’s the Zelda you know and love, but an evolved and improved creature at the same time. It’s a meaty 40 hour package depending on how much time you spend on side-quests and mini-games, and worth every hour you spend on it.

CONCLUSION This is it people, this is the peak of what the Wii has to offer, both the console and the controller.

We’ve finally got that weapon in our hands, the one we wanted to perfectly mirror our actions since the moment we heard about the Wii, one that delivers a breathtakingly satisfying combat experience you won’t see anywhere else. When you’ve got that built into what is perhaps the single greatest Zelda adventure ever created, you’ve got one hell of a game on your hands.

There are so many things I want to gush about, the ingenious puzzles, the jaw-dropping boss fights, the epic and emotional final moments... but these are all for you to discover, and discover them you should.

Could this be 2011’s Game of the Year?

Well...let’s just say Dead Space 2 may have met its match...oh boy, this is going to be tricky...

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There’s a phrase about game design we all are familiar with so I won’t bother repeating it here. However, perhaps for most of us, Mario games have a certain charm to them that’s very hard to ignore, combined with the knowledge that you almost can’t go wrong with the plumber and his mustache. I can argue that the plumber and his jumping antics have well run their course with me personally, but when you get your hands on its normal to not put the controller down for a little while. And really, you can’t own a Nintendo console without a Mario game to go with it and thankfully this one compliments the 3DS wonderfully.

By g1 DonAngel

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Super Mario 3D Land Developers: Nintendo EAD Tokyo Publisher: Nintendo Systems: Nintendo 3DS Release Dates: November 13th, 2011

First Impression

It’s no surprise that a Mario game would be released for Nintendo’s latest handheld console, the Nintendo 3DS. The only question is, are you tired of saving a princess who refuses to learn her lesson or hire a more competent guard aside from cowardly toads?

Perhaps sensing that the plumber’s overalls might be showing a bit of wear, the developers have advertised the game as having a combination of old and new, combining side scrolling and open world level design to keep the action fresh, even bringing back a favorite power-up; the super leaf. Playing at nostalgic heart strings is fine and all, I myself knowing Nintendo would strike them gently, but I personally was about ready to hang the overalls. Only thing is, Super Mario 3D land is probably going to be one of the better games for the console right now in its small library.

Story The game opens up in the middle of a stormy night where we see the wind blowing the leaves off a funny looking tree. We realize the next day that the tree actually was a Tanooki tree and its leaves just blew all across the mushroom kingdom, granting their powers to all who touch them; including Bowser’s minions. Mario and several toads go to investigate this revelation when they find a letter from Bowser not far from the tree; three guesses to what happened to the princess.

Visuals Super Mario 3D Land shares a similar look to previous titles like Super Mario Bros. Wii and New Super Mario Bros.

You get the standard Mario game theme when it comes to color and level design, along enemy design, that are very brightly colored, round, bubbly,

and inviting with its charm which easily eludes the more difficult portions of the game. Floating platforms hang all around grassy mountains, desert plains, volcanic reaches, and underwater grottos. The graphics seem to be on par with Super Mario Bros. Wii and just falling a bit short of the Galaxy games; however, it’s not difficult to think of Mario Galaxy when looking at the overall level design which seemingly depicts Galaxy, but on a smaller scale. It’s very impressive and really shows what the console

is capable of when used to its full potential and perhaps further beyond.

While the 3D effect isn’t necessary to play through the game, there are some areas cleverly crafted around the feature to help players notice things they otherwise might not right away, such as hidden power-ups or star medals. The 3D is also very feasible in the game, and really does add a cool dimension to Mario’s world. If you’re not concerned about your battery life, it wouldn’t hurt to have the slider up at all times.

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Gameplay What players have come to realize and accept about Mario is that what the games lack in plot, they more than make up for with addictive platforming that tests reflexes and quick thinking to get past the most treacherous obstacles that are pitted against our hero. What also make the games so accessible are the simple controls; you only need to run, jump, and of course watch where you’re going.

The designs of most of the levels are 3D worlds reminiscent of Mario 64 and the recent Super Mario Galaxy with some stages that are strictly side-scrolling, or a mix of the two. There are many Mario tropes when it comes to gameplay within this one game, and you’ll come to find many of the familiar platforming designs, while simultaneously finding new ones in this adventure. There are 8 worlds to traverse through, each having at least 4 stages with perhaps one bonus stage you can unlock through star medals that you’ve collected (although a few stages can only be unlocked by having the right number of medals on hand, such as one of Bowser’s castles).

The last stage in each world feature a boss battle at the end where you have to get by Bowser or one of his children before finishing the level and moving on to the next world; there’s very little variation between these and only two of Bowser’s kids make an appearance, three times over for each one. Toad houses can come along the way, which

provide Mario (or an unlocked Luigi) with a power-up to help him along the way. Power-ups like the super leaf and fire flower can also be used to unlock hidden areas within the levels and help Mario find hidden star medals; the tanooki suit’s tail can destroy blocks embedded into walls so that Mario can crawl through them; and the fire flower can light torches that open hidden areas.

There is also the boomerang suit which allows Mario to throw boomerangs at a short range which can not only hit enemies but collect items for him, even coins and star medals. The suit itself doesn’t appear very often, however, like in previous titles, Mario can keep whatever power-up he’s had last and take it to the next level along with an extra power-up tucked away for later use that the player can access by simply tapping on it in the lower screen. This feature also allows Mario to simply switch between power-ups if he’s already wearing one, so instead of giving up the one he has now it’ll be stored away when the player makes the switch.

If you’re having problems getting through a section of the game, a power-up block or a golden tanooki suit will appear at a checkpoint to help you get through.

Dying ten times will make a PWing appear which will transport a player to the end of the level. While you can’t exactly fly with the tanooki suit, hovering in the air does allow Mario to get

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by the more difficult platform scenarios with ease, essentially making most of the game easier than it already is.

The suit is an optional item of course, so any player looking to really test themselves can simply avoid it if they find it makes a stage to easy. After beating the 4+ hour game, the players can take on the special worlds, outlined the same way as the initial 8 worlds, but with stages the player just gone through, just with more enemies and revamped platforming sections.

The special world levels can also include time challenges, where the player must reach the end of the level under a short amount of time, gathering time bonuses along the way, or the challenge of having to outrun your

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shadow self. Although not all the levels in the special worlds are rearranged stages of the initial game, they also feature entirely new stages to run through.

This is also the portion of the game that requires the star medals as all the end stages need to be unlocked through them.

The special worlds can satiate the more “hardcore” Mario audience, if they found the initial game a tad too easy; it’s an entirely new campaign really. The SpotPass feature is present in the game as well, allowing gamers to share bonus levels with each other so they could receive bonus star medals and power-ups while trying to beat a friend’s best time in that mini bonus stage. Competitive types can also attempt to beat each other’s best times in all the stages. All these things add to an already expected high replay value; with collecting all the star medals; and trying to get the best times in all the levels.

Music A lot of the standard Mario tracks make their way back here into 3D Land with some original music for the various overworld themes. Most of the classic tracks from previous games are remixed, still in midi form, notably from Super Mario Bros.3 such as the Toad House theme and theme used for the air ship levels. The main theme for this game is actually an arrangement of an SMB3 overworld theme. It’s unfortunate there aren’t more notable, original works for this game, but most gamers will probably be more than satisfied with the current soundtrack as I know I am.

Conclusion Super Mario 3D Land really showcases what the console is capable of, with graphics that can be compared with what we’ve come to see on the Nintendo Wii, and optional, creative uses of the 3D effect the 3DS is capable of.

While the initial game is relatively easy, and short to begin with, patient fans can open up to a whole new part of the game that offers what serious platformers have come to expect from the main series of Mario games, and probably couldn’t be happier.

-PROS▲ Easily accessible to anyone ▲ High replay value ▲ Practicable 3D that also isn’t necessary Buy It, Rent It, F*** It? A definite BUY!

-CONS▼ The game is very easy until players unlock special worlds ▼ Few and repetitive boss battles ▼ Overall game is very short if one doesn’t care for collecting or time challenges ▼The definitive lack of cake is noticeable…

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-REV

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There is a legend of a winged mythical creature called the phoenix. This holy firebird is known outside of religion as an immortal creature, one that is perpetually reborn in a unique fashion. Once it reaches the end of its life-span, it bursts into flames, only to emerge as a hairless chick, weak yet alive and well. This concept has been used in culture to this very day, and has become a term for something that has made a legendary comeback, only measured by how low it went, and how far it climbed with its “rebirth.”

Sonic the Hedgehog has finally emerged from the ashes of defeat with Sonic Generations, with the strongest game he’s had in years.

By g1 SideSmash

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Sonic Generations Developer: Sonic Team (Xbox 360, PS3, PC) Devil’s Details (PC) Dimps (Nintendo 3DS) Publisher: Sega Systems: PC, Xbox 360, PS3 & Nintendo 3DS Release Date: November 1st, 2011

FIRST IMPRESSIONS It isn’t fair to say that Sonic Generations marks the beginning of the Blue Blur’s comeback, because it actually started around a year ago with the well-made fourth installment in the original series and the surprisingly awesome Sonic Colors.

But Generations marks the first time the series has gone to the multi-platform retail mainstream in this new light. So, the question isn’t “did SEGA succeed?” anymore; they did. The question(s) now is “how did they do it?” and “what does this mean for the franchise ahead?”

STORY So, the Sonic series has been known to be a bit flippant with the stories of their games. With the concept of Sonic branching off from a character that’s never had much story to begin with (Mario), the franchise has gone little nuts with it. Sure, there have been

Oh yeah, and SPOILER ALERT: I like the game.

Note: This is a review of the console version of Sonic Generations. The 3DS version was developed by Dimps and includes a completely different set of levels.

The following review does not measure the quality of the 3DS version; please keep that in mind.

some great stories like Adventure 2’s and simplistic and lighthearted ones like Sonic Heroes’ (which was, in my opinion, a great game). But then there was Sonic ’06’s, which I like to call one of the worst games I’ve ever played, and it seemed like all hope was lost for any cohesive narrative. How does Sonic Generations’ story fare?

Well, if you really want to know, it goes for a more simplistic approach, and it really helps. Sonic is celebrating his 20th birthday with his infamous group of anthropomorphic pals when a giant cloud of purple materializes and vacuums all of the attendants. Sonic tries to stop it but fails and is knocked unconscious.

He wakes up in a strange blank canvas containing some very familiar-looking places. Soon enough, he meets up with his Classic counterpart and sidekick Tails (as well as his Classic version) and learns that an evil force is destroying time and space, propelling certain parts of history into the strange limbo that the gang is trapped in. Now, the Sonics have to save the space-time continuum before this time-traveling adversary obliterates it completely.

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Like I said, it’s very simple and it lends itself to some funny moments that involve Sonic reflecting on his past endeavors. The writing is solid and the premise is unique, but there was one thing on my mind whenever I saw the “Time Eater,” which was the black cloud from last year’s Epic Mickey, which also pulls the main character into a realm filled with voices of the past. It’s quite impressive how much SEGA took from Epic Mickey, but it really isn’t something to condemn them for, because it’s a cool concept to begin with.

But nothing, NOTHING, in Sonic Generations is as ridiculous as the explanation for how to restore time and space. Sure, they could stop the Time Eater, but that would leave time and space in chaos. Early on in the story, the Tails reveal to the Sonics that the only way to reinstitute order in the laws of physics is to--you ready for this?--RUN REALLY REALLY FUCKING FAST. No, seriously! That’s how to repair the space-time continuum. If the Sonics run fast enough, the day will be saved. How fucking quaint is that, huh? It’s genius!

And that’s not sarcasm or anything that is one of the most implausible, absurd, preposterous, and most awesome explanations for ANYTHING. So, the story of Sonic Generations does its job, which is really the only thing it’s supposed to do in the first place. If anything, the humor and wit packed into the script is a definite positive, and considering it was written by the same guys behind the story of Sonic Colors, that’s a guarantee that any gamer will enjoy it.

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DESIGN Sonic Generations has been marketed as a shmorgish borg of the greatest moments of Sonic history. As it stands, SEGA has taken the role of Dr. Frankenstein, stitching together the most memorable levels of the franchise and electrifying it with some tweaks to the levels to accommodate the changes the series has gone through.

The majority of the game takes place in the white limbo overworld, with stages lined up chronologically. Upon starting the game, you are given the first stage, Green Hill, to use as a teaching tool if you’re not familiar with the gameplay formulas. After completion of said level, you are given the next one, Chemical Plant from Sonic 2, which you can complete only one Act of before unlocking the final stage of the first set, Sky Sanctuary from Sonic 3 & Knuckles.

After completing both acts in each stage of the set, you unlock challenges for those levels. These challenges range from racing a doppelgänger Sonic to the goal to helping out his friends in certain

stages to collecting a certain number of rings. They have a set time to complete and each has its own ranks. Completing one challenge (out of the five available in each) in each stage gives you a boss key. Acquiring all three of these keys unlocks the door to the boss fight, which, after completing, opens up another set and the process continues.

Damn. That’s pretty freaking elaborate, even for a Sonic game. It’s an obvious attempt by Sonic Team to expand the playtime of the main adventure, but the challenges are very worthwhile and persuade you to get that legendary ‘S’ rank more so than most entries in the franchise with their side-quests.

But bragging rights aren’t the only reason to complete those challenges. As you blast through each room, you will be rewarded with a bell above the door to the challenge room. Ring the brass

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and a musical note will fall out. Grab the note and you unlock either concept art or music.

There are also rival battles, which pit Sonic against some of his most formidable foes with a Chaos Emerald on the line. These rivals include Metal Sonic and Shadow, which are both welcome throwbacks to their original boss fights. Metal’s fight is pretty standard and is entirely 2D based, and Shadow’s is needlessly complex yet nostalgic all the same. His fight is based on the final fight with him in Sonic Adventure 2, and the new mechanics really work. At the same time, the method by which you are supposed to defeat him is pretty stupid and too convoluted to feel unique.

The boss battles are pretty large in scope, and involve returning titans from previous Sonic games, keeping in fashion with the rest of the game’s feel.

Seeing Sonic take down Perfect Chaos while not in his Super form really shows you how far he’s come.

The boss battles, while epic in scale, are easily the weakest parts of the game. Barely anything is explained and exposing the weak spots is multilayered in frustration. The final boss is easy on its own, but you waste so much time figuring out what you’re supposed to do in the first place that you take the same amount of time if the boss was difficult. It’s such a contrast in quality with the rest of the game that it’s as if they weren’t part of the original concept. You’ll get through the bosses, sure; but I suggest looking up an FAQ if you don’t want to waste your time.

Finally, there’s a currency that you gain more of every time you complete an act

or challenge. These points can be spent on unlocking skills that you can apply to Sonic, provided you have enough space.

There are seven customization that really just amount to Sonic’s answer to the Call of Duty perks. They feel shoehorned in and don’t add much to the game, but they are interesting to test with on certain stages. Probably the best part of the skill shop is that you can buy the original Sonic the Hedgehog, which is one of the best secrets in the game, though it would have been nice to be able to purchase some less-available titles, as the original is probably one of the most ported video games of all time.

A little variety would be nice, right?

When taking the Blue Blur online, there are two options to choose from. Both derive from the same basic structure, but one is much more unique than the other. The least interesting of the pair is the time-attack mode, which ask you to complete a stage in the smallest amount of time possible. This is pretty rudimentary and doesn’t pull you in as much as the other option. Speaking of which, the second asks you to get as far as you can in a stage in 30 seconds. This is not only a great online feature for a Sonic game; it’s also a great option in general. Gamers like Stuttering Craig enjoy online modes that they can finish in a short amount of time, and the franchise lends itself to finishing levels in bite-sized chunks, so it’s excellent for those who have a tight schedule.

Hopefully this won’t be the last time we see this unique online option.

So, I’ve talked about pretty much everything but the way the levels are structured. If the trailers, commercials and video reviews haven’t already made it clear, I’ll explain: Each stage

has two acts, which differ greatly in mechanics, emphasis on speed and dimensions. The first act is good oldfashioned 2D sidescrolling with Classic Sonic, and the second involves the newer, much faster 3D level design. Both have their strengths and weaknesses, but when you put them together, they complement each other beautifully, and makes the experience much more engrossing and diverse.

Sonic Generations’ design is big when focusing on each individual level, but the amount of content is a little lacking.

Even so, one of the best parts of this series is that the levels give you incentive to play through them again and again, so if you’re a Sonic fan, you’ll find plenty to like here.

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possible. The controls are tight, and the level structure feels old-school without also feeling stale. Like Stuttering Craig said in one of his most poignant observations in ScrewAttack history, the original Sonic games were all about good platforming (as opposed to, and that’s definitely true here.

any frustrating instances in that regard.

Probably one of the best gameplay experiences I’ve had this year involved holding down the boost button and feeling a rush of energy pulsing through my body as Sonic blazed through an act. It’s rare to have such an experience, but Generations hold true.

When you put the two styles against each other, which one is better depends entirely on your preference. I enjoy the 3D levels because of how improved the gameplay feels, yet the classic category never did much wrong in the first place.

You can’t really go wrong with either option.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: NOTHING in a game matters if the gameplay isn’t tolerable. The Sonic games have had a bad habit of including loose controls that can only be used when going at high speeds, and gamers have to apply platforming mechanics to, which spells disaster.

Not much has been changed to the formula with the exception of one of the best tweaks the series has ever witnessed. Instead of rapidly tapping the spindash button to gain some speed, holding it down charges Sonic up to an acceptable rate in about a second, cutting down time considerably. At the same time, holding and then tapping the button will charge up speed at an alarming rate, which creates a great risk-reward system for gamers eager to get through Green Hill in the shortest amount of time possible. There is a problem with this tweak though; when in a rushed situation, holding down the button for a split-second less than asked for, then letting it go to rapidly tap down to go faster launches you at a snail’s pace, and it also renders you incapable of any movement until you get to a complete stop. It sounds confusing, but once it happens, you’ll realize how frustrating it is. Other than the uneven timing of the spindash, the gameplay as just as good as it was back when Genesis did what Nintendon’t.

Sonic Colors got it down, and Generations pins it to the ground and barely lets it slip out of its palms. In order to pay respect to the game’s design, the gameplay styles must be addressed individually and then juxtaposed with the level design to see if they have cohesion. The 2D gameplay style is as close to the original Genesis games as

Likewise, the Modern levels are focused on speed entirely, and they feel like they’ve fully matured after the blemishes on the Wii, the somewhat decent Unleashed, and the awesome Colors. The controls, while a little loose at times, feel very responsive and natural.

The homing attack has been moved back to the jump button, eliminating

GAMEPLAY

The level design is just like the gameplay in terms of quality: mostly great, with some exceptions. Each level almost reflects the quality of the game it was taken from. Green Hill is one of the very few levels in ANY video game that I would call “perfect”; both acts are infinitely fun to play and sets the precedent for the rest of the game.

Chemical Plant and Sky Sanctuary feel challenging yet polished, and the Adventure levels are just as good as on the Dreamcast back in the early 00’s.

Seaside Hill has a few cheap obstacles, but also has a lot of differentiating paths. Crisis City is just awful; if we’re talking about bad level structure, there is no contest. Crisis reflects just how fucking terrible Sonic ’06 was, and the levels themselves were built from the ground up with frustration as opposed to fair difficulty in mind. However, Rooftop Run is excellent and Planet Wisp gets it right where fair difficulty is concerned. It’s an overall great set of levels; I just wonder why the hell they would even mention the steaming pile of excrement that was Sonic ’06.

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The gameplay in Sonic Generations takes everything that the franchise has done right in the past 20 years and puts it into one. Controls feel solid and the styles create a varied experience that stands with the best in the series. If you’ve played a Sonic game, you’ll feel right at home.

VISUALS As far as the presentation is concerned, Sonic Generations looks awesome. The 2D levels still have that Genesis aesthetic but still look impressive.

The 2D levels look amazing when in motion, yet they still fare when Sonic is standing still. They give a feel of claymation which will drop jaws. 3D levels may not be as awesome, but they still look great and give an extremely interesting perspective on the Genesis stages. Chemical Plant especially looks like it was pulled right out of the original and flipped forward.

Whatever part you’re playing in, colors are ubiquitous and really make the game pop out. The cutscenes look pretty good and there isn’t any slowdown, at least not from my playthrough. The visuals, overall, do not disappoint.

SOUND The Sonic franchise has always been known for its kicking’ soundtrack and Sonic Generations is one of the best in the franchise, which says a lot. Every level has a remix for each act, and the styles compliment them. Classic has more of a techno vibe, while Modern has a solid rock-n’-roll mood. Almost every remix is excellent, paying tribute to the original whilst also giving a fresh new sound.

sounds technological and electronic, complete with record scratches and repeated beats straight out of DJ Hero.

Then there’s the Modern version, which is a contender for the best track in the game. It begins with an upbeat piano solo and then dives into a maelstrom of string instruments. It makes me feel happy every time I listen to it.

There are a few remixes I want to specifically talk about. First is Escape From the City, which plays during the level of the same name. This song is pretty much the theme of my generation of Sonic fans.

The last specific level I’ll touch on is Planet Wisp, which is the only stage where I think including the original would have been a better decision. The mixes aren’t bad, but they fall short of their true potentials. The Classic is pretty lackluster, and the Modern is missing that slow build-up from the original track. Again, it’s still a good mix, but not great.

The Modern mix sounds identical to the original, which is just fine. But the Classic mix may be treading risky ground with the added auto-tuning to the original.

Now, if there’s one thing I hate about everything, its modern music in general, and that includes auto-tuning. But, surprise, surprise, it fits very well. I’d even call it my favorite version of Escape from the City. Next there’s Rooftop Run, which perfectly illustrates the audio differences between the versions. Classic

Finally, the soundtrack doesn’t end with the levels. Upon finishing certain challenge rooms, you unlock music from every corner from the Sonic gamography (yeah, that’s a word now).

Pinball, Advance, R, CD, and more; it’s really the Sonic Team equivalent of the Super Smash Bros. Brawl soundtrack, yet smaller and not as memorable.

There are a few tracks that are missing like Sky Base from Adventure, White Jungle from Adventure 2, Ocean

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Palace from Heroes (though there is a small cameo in the Seaside Hill Modern track), and Flying Battery from 3 & Knuckles.

The lack of popular tracks is made up for by the inclusion of song customization.

Once you acquire a song, you can play that song during any level, which is just AWESOME! There’s one problem, though: You can’t use the default songs in other levels. If I want to play the Modern Rooftop Run mix whilst plowing through Classic Chemical Plant, I can’t do that.

But I can’t deny that this is one of the most eclectic soundtracks on the market. It also happens to be an incredible selection that you’ll wish you could put on your iPod. Oh, and the voice acting’s pretty good.

CONCLUSION 2011 may be the greatest year in gaming. Marvel VS. Capcom, Zelda, Mortal Kombat, the list of great games is so big that it overshadows 2007 by a longshot. But we should also remember 2011 as the year when Sonic came back after years of treading water. Yes, there were some great Sonic games that have come out in the past few years, but Generations marks the beginning of a new era of hedgehog. It’s one of the few games where I laughed with glee when playing the levels, which is pretty hard to do. Did SEGA succeed? Hell yes.

Now, there’s the next question: Where to next? We’ve been told that Classic Sonic is pretty much a one-shot for this game and that the next Sonic will be entering a new iteration. Honestly, Sonic Generations had its flaws, but if Sonic Team can keep this up and improve upon the already well-done gameplay, we’ll be looking forward to a Sonic release as if it was a Zelda or Mass Effect soon enough.

Sonic Generations is great not only because it brings the hedgehog back, but it also does a great job keeping you enthralled. If you’ve lost faith in the hedgehog (even if Colors didn’t do it for you), this is your counterexample.

Welcome back, buddy.

-PROS-

-CONS-

▲ Two distinct and playable gameplay styles.

▼ Pretty short, even at a smaller price.

▲ Remixed stages do the originals justice. ▲ Gameplay tweaks work really well. ▲ Tons of secrets. ▲ A-M-A-Z-I-N-G Soundtrack.

▼ Both styles have noticeable flaws. ▼ Boss battles SUCK. ▼ Acknowledges Sonic ’06. ▼ Anticlimactic ending. ▼ We won’t see Classic Sonic again most likely :(

▲ Gives you a real sense of speed. ▲ Budget Price. ▲ Brings back the Hedgehog at full force.

Buy It, Rent It, F*** It? A definite BUY!

If you already made a critically acclaimed game, how do you manage to keep going with that? Spyro’s fate eventually led to the mascot taking a fall with games that just couldn’t innovate or keep creative enough. But maybe this game rose to the occasion before the series fell…

By g1 TWiSTEDmerc

-REV

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Spyro 2: Ripto’s Rage!

Developer: Insomniac Games Publisher: SCEA System: PS1 Release Date: October 31st, 1999

Headline: Purple in the sky, Fire in his eyes, Spyro is ‘on the rise!’

Since his strong entrance in 1998 with the many other golden games that formed a cloud and rained gold all year long, Spyro has already become a rising mascot. Does Spyro have what it takes to go farther, higher, and harder; or does this adventure have nothing new to offer?

Spyro and his helpful friend, Sparx have decided to head to Dragon Shores for some R&R because their home world has experienced a cycle of dull weather for a few days. They travel through a portal but get sidetracked to another world. Here, a kingdom of real and fictional creatures has been overrun by Ripto and his minions. The creatures

open a portal (to get a dragon to help out) and it incidentally happens to have you-know-who. If Spyro rids the world of Ripto, he can be on his way; and there’s no turning back because Ripto destroys the portal Spyro comes through.

The story is just as simple as before; but that’s not really a bad thing as there are more cut-scenes involved in the simple storytelling to carry it along and at least keep you amused.

One noticeably better thing is being able to talk to creatures other than dragons. It got pretty tiring to talk to nothing but dragons in the whole dragon world where dragons and dragons and dragons and… yeah, those guys.

The only other creatures in Spyro 1 were speechless secondary characters (except Gnasty Gnorc) such as fairies, evildoers, balloonists and they didn’t have much more than a straight to the facts script.

Here, you get Spyro & Sparx (previously provided), a money loving bear, a female faun, an uncertain cougar, an experimenting professor, a scepter wielding villain, and a huge dinosaur! Each of these characters has at least some personality (even if it is all brawn, no brains) and overall, the script is much livelier.

SCREWATTACK MAGAZINE - DECEMBER On your quest to remove Ripto from his rule, you still collect jewels; although this time, you do need to do a decent bit of jewel collecting to continue learning new tricks or have additional portals opened. Orbs also serve as the occasional wall and collecting them should be one of your top priorities. There has also been some prioritizing going on as characters better convey information. Case in point: Talismans must be collected (all of them) to be granted access to the next hub-world. Not all worlds have a talisman and characters can help direct you to where you need to go and they will tell you how hard any challenge is. The creatures you save of the worlds also at least have an actual reason as with why they need help which the original didn’t utilize very well. The camera is just as good as before; as in, it hasn’t changed and it’s unlikely to be improved given the fairly sound design. The levels also benefit from just as strong designs as before with the new mechanics getting properly integrated.

If there’s one more good change that could have been done to the levels, it was the boss battles. Previously, you’d have to face a boss in a regular level and if you died because of some minor enemy, even if the boss had died, you’d have to beat the boss again. Bosses are obstacles, once you beat them they should stay out of the way and here, the bosses have their own small levels so you don’t have to beat them anymore times then necessary. There is also a jewel finding system which helps players find every last treasure within the level by having Sparx point you in the right direction. You also get the occa-

sional chance to make use of your skills to play a tailored game of hockey, race in a mine cart, and a couple of other challenges.

The gameplay of Spyro 2 is mainly the same, but there are a fair few nice additions to add more variety to the levels you have to conquer. You still have your ability to fly, ram, complete time races, and breathe fire along with upgraded versions but it’s been refined. Instead, you now just go through a power up station (which is ultimately a little more efficient than before) and you have so long before it diminishes. For the better, there have been slight altercations to some familiar moves but they serve almost entirely the same purpose. Spyro also has 3 new power ups: invincibility, freeze flame, and big bounce; they also serve him well but aren’t tied in quite as often as the main mechanics.

And it doesn’t stop there; he can also climb as well as toss objects by gobbling them up and spitting ‘em out to eliminate out of reach enemies or activate switches. The last and biggest addition is the ability to swim; this allows you to explore massive water levels and perform your ram (but nothing else) while submerged. It’s fun to swim because you can still move quickly like on ground. The designers were also smart enough to throw the idea of an oxygen meter away because most areas already have obstacles like enemies on the lookout for you.

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The graphics in Spyro are truly amazing; the only flaws that existed in the original have been combed over with well rounded production values. The same goes for the sound, everything is top notch; there is not a flaw to criticize about on either side.

Spyro’s main week point is still its’ length as you can be finished in 8 hours.

However, there’s so much worthwhile still left to be done that full completion warrants around 16 hours of play. The difficulty is ultimately the same, easy but a challenge remains for those going for everything.

Spyro 2 has risen its’ bar and leaped over it triumphantly. There are so many games that have a simple checklist of better design, make character swim, make it look better, and add a new move. Here, Spyro is way ahead of his competition and is standing strong; it’s highly recommended!

8.5/ 10 GREAT (PS1) +Offers the same well crafted experience from before +Swimming is a perfectly crafted addition to keep the game away from repetition +Side characters are livelier, helpful, and more prominent +Almost completely perfects the minor issues from before

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-REVIEWKatamari Damacy is one strange game. It’s absurd, insane, ridiculous, flabbergasting, and everything in between. But is it playable? That’s the million-dollar question, and since the game was developed on $1 million, that’s fitting. So, let’s dive right into this 2004 PS2 exclusive, shall We? by g1 SideSmash

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Katamari Damacy Developers: Namco NOW Production Publishers: Namco System: PS2 Released Date: September 22nd , 2004

Creativity is a major factor in what makes human beings individual and unique. It’s also a huge driving force in what we do and why we do it. The words “weird” and “strange” are defined with our creative juices. In our glorious energy, however, the most creative games are shoved to the side, left to become less known than they deserve (here’s lookin’ at you, Schafer). And then there are the games known for their creativity, usually made in that crazy, crazy land of the rising sun. Enter Katamari Damacy, the first in a series of strange titles from Namco. Developed as a school project with a budget of less than $1 million, it was created with four key points in mind: novelty, ease of understanding, enjoyment, and humor. Is it too weird for its own good?

COVER ART

STORY

Before we get to the actual game, there’s something that caught my attention as soon as I bought it: The cover art is very well done! For those out of the loop, I’m literally talking about the art on the cover of the actual box. Yeah, it’s a strange thing to talk about, but this is a strange game to talk about, so I think I’m in the right state of mind. I think the art uses a style called “surrealism,” where everything looks normal with the exception of one thing that pops out at you and makes the entire piece a lot more interesting.

In this case, it’s the giant ball of stuff towering above the city. I like that kind of style, especially here.

Katamari Damacy’s story is best described as just a premise for the gameplay and not something that stands on its own two feet. Here’s how it goes: One day, the King of the Cosmos accidentally destroys all the stars in the sky as a result of his binge drinking.

Considering there’s something like six sextillion stars, that’s a pretty impressive screw-up. So, instead of cleaning up his mess, he tells his son, the Prince, to do it.

Aside from that, the simplicity is astounding. There’s nothing about the plot, the characters, or even the actual katamari itself (it just looks like a giant ball of stuff like I said before). All it has is that colossal sphere of objects and really, that’s all you need to know. And

the cover is pretty much the closest thing to normal that this game gets to.

While it’s not an important part of the actual game, the cover is still something to talk about, because it rocks.

What kind of a douchebag do you have to be to make your son pick up after you? Not only that, but he barely says anything nice to his son when he meets his expectations. This could be the worst father in video game history.

Anyway, after he tells you that you’re responsible for his fuck-up, he instructs you to rebuild the sky by collecting large masses of various items on Earth.

Apparently, the King didn’t destroy Earth for some reason. I guess he really likes us.

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There’s also a side story with two kids and their mom. The son keeps noticing something strange, but whenever he tries to explain to his mom, she doesn’t believe him. The daughter is somehow connected to the cosmos, but doesn’t say anything to either the mom or son.

They’re driving to the space station to see the dad, who’s an astronaut. This side story makes NO sense and doesn’t try to. Its only reason for existing is to confuse you even further. Well, they got me there, because by the end I was more confused than Stuttering Craig was when learning about “Bronies.”

Like I said, Katamari Damacy’s story doesn’t make sense and only serves to create a reason for producing large balls of things for your alcoholic father who’s also God. The strange scale is already tipping.

DESIGN The design of Damacy is very simple.

There are 19 levels total, split into different mission types (which we’ll get to in a second), which adds up to around three hours of getting through the main quest. As you complete each level, a “score attack” option is unlocked, and some levels contain the “Eternal” variation. You can unlock “Eternal mode” in three levels after your “katamari” (that big ball of stuff I’ve been mentioning) is twice the size the King asks you to make. It’s clear that the developers chose the levels that

they thought players would want to explore more, and in that regard, they chose the best suited for the feature.

The last level in particular is the hardest to double in size, but well worth the effort when you can roll up an entire continent. The feature is As the prince, you are given two sets of missions that you need to rebuld.

The first is the “Make a Star” missions, where the King asks you to roll up a katamari that satisfies a certain size in a limited amount of time. The other set of missions involves the Prince creating the constellations, and each one has its own distinctive objectives.

From there, the missions are divided into four categories. The first and most prominent is the missions I mentioned earlier, wherein you try to make the biggest katamari possible in a time limit. The second most-common involves the King instructing you with a kind of object, and then you roll up as many of those objects as you can within a time limit. The third is only seen twice and tasks you with finding the largest bear or cow. These missions are especially stupid, because it drops you into a small area where you don’t see a tiny bear/cow and accidentally rolling over it, thereby ending the mission in five seconds even though you have a ten-minute limit. Lastly (and least) is what I like to call the “Take a Guess” missions, where you’re given a katamari of uncertain size, and then asked to roll up enough stuff to look like a given size, and subsequently submit it for approval. There’s only one mission of this type, and it’s so unpredictable and idiotic that it only exists to give more variety.

Each stage has two secret items that are tucked away in small parts of the map. The only way you can keep these is if they stay in your katamari (which we’ll get to later). The first is called a “Royal Present,” an accessory the Prince can wear, which is accessed from the menu. These accessories range from crowns to guitars to scarves and don’t change up the gameplay mechanics; they’re just nice to have. The second

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item isn’t actually an item—it’s one of your cousins! These cousins are rolled up in the main game and then used in the title’s multiplayer option.

I can’t actually say much about multiplayer because I haven’t tried it yet. But from what I understand, it’s a two-player race to make the biggest item within a given time limit. I can’t say whether it’s a good addition or not, but it certainly doesn’t hurt the game’s design.

Overall, Katamari Damacy comes up short in design, even for its 2004 release.

While there is plenty to do, there simply isn’t enough to warrant a full purchase of fifty-

Oh, that’s right! Thank you for reminding me, Phoenix! Because of its relatively small budget and lack of IP recognition, the game was originally retailed for $20, which, in this case, is very substantial for the game’s design!

There’s something crucial you forgot about, Smash!

So, if Katamari Damacy was retailed at $50 back in 2004, it wouldn’t be worth it; but because Namco was aware of its experimental design, they put it at a much more reasonable price tag. At $20, the price is worth it, but NONE of that matters if the gameplay doesn’t fit.

So, does it?

GAMEPLAY …And here’s where the Katamari franchise in general becomes very polarizing. As I’ve mentioned, the main goal of the game is to roll up enough stuff to make your drunkard father happy, but how do you do that? Well, if the premise wasn’t unique enough, the controls are as well, but not to such a celebrated degree as the former.

You use both analog sticks to control the Prin- hey, wait a second. Here’s a question: Are you controlling the Prince?

Or are you controlling the katamari?

The King hints at the answer being the katamari, but you usually see the Prince moving as well. I’m gonna have to think about this.

Anyway, you use both analog sticks to control… something, and the L1 and R1 buttons to look and jump up, respectively. That’s right, confused reader: no buttons or D-pad here, it’s all in the sticks. It’s with this mechanic that alienates a lot of conventional gamers. I won’t lie, the first time I tried to play Katamari Damacy, I hated it with a fiery passion. It’s a learning curve that you need to get over in order to master the controls. But that’s also the beauty in the gameplay; mastery of the controls is required to advance, and as soon as you get in the groove, you’ll feel comfortable with the control scheme.

Again, it does take some getting used to, but by the middle of the adventure, you’ll be right at home.

SCREWATTACK MAGAZINE - DECEMBER because they’re too big. Makes sense, right? Well, if you crash into these objects hard enough, some of the stuff that you’ve recently collected will fly off, which notches the overall size of the katamari down a few. That also makes sense (well, nothing really makes sense in this game, but whatever).

Of course, you can recollect the things that get knocked off, which is fair. But then there are those times when your katamari is big enough to climb over buildings, but not enough to collect those same buildings.

However, that’s not to say the game is without problems. For one, the camera can sometimes become a nuisance because you’re growing too fast. It’s not game breaking, but it does reveal its ugly head every once in a while. Also, one of the most infamous glitches in gaming materializes in the later stages of the game: Getting stuck. But, there are multiple layers to this suckage, so allow me to explain: As you build your katamari, you will come across objects that you can’t collect yet, simply

So, there will be times when you get caught in a corner where the game thinks you’re constantly crashing into stuff that you can’t collect, which means that stuff will start flying off of you, detrimentally diminishing your progress and flat-out wasting your time. Getting stuck is one of the worst glitches of all time, and it can really make you mad here.

Your katamari isn’t completely excused from the laws of physics either (even though its entire existence is pretty damn absurd). When you collect something, that object’s overall structure directly affects how the katamari moves. For example, if you collect a pole standing up, that pole will lift you up into the air

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when it touches the ground, like a pole vault. This is something to remember, because there will be points where you won’t be able to roll over something because that stupid flower keeps pushing you up and over it! Again, not a flaw, just a tip.

When it comes right down to it, Katamari Damacy’s gameplay is extremely polarizing. Some will enjoy the unconventional control scheme, others will want to go back to the buttons. It’s well-done gameplay for sure, but the combination of the undeniable flaws and extremely–noticeable learning curve can scare off a few players. But if you can just roll with it, Katamari Damacy’s gameplay is unrivaled in style and excellent in overall execution.

GRAPHICS As James Portnow of the excellent show “Extra Credits” once said: “Graphics and aesthetics are not the same thing.” This holds true in Katamari Damacy. The overall graphical layout is very bland.

Everything looks close to a polygon.

And considering 2004, the year of the game’s release, had games like Ninja Gaiden, DOOM 3 (which pushed the boundaries of the graphical capabilities of lighting and shadowing), and HalfLife 2, there isn’t a huge excuse.

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But then, the aesthetics come shining through. If you took away the pure style of Katamari Damacy, it would look awful. However, because of this distinction, the game is a joy to look at for it’s imaginative worlds and abundance of color. You know, ScrewAttack has featured the Katamari games in a few Top 10’s, and Craig has used the music in SideScrollers before; I wonder if Craig’s a fan because of how bright and colorful it is (probably not)?

Anyway, the aesthetics make the games graphical presentation. The people look like faceless blocks, the buildings look mostly identical, and the cutscenes look like they were crafted by a middleschool child who wanted to make cinematics look like the ones in those cool Metal Gear games but didn’t have the skill to even begin 3D modeling.

But all of that is excused with the undeniable charm that comes with the aesthetics. When I look at a game, I don’t look at the polygon count or the detailed textures to convince me that the game looks good. I always, always, ALWAYS look at the art direction and creativity put into the style.

This is where Katamari Damacy takes home the gold. It may not look technically good, even for 2004, but it still looks very good because the developers were smart and left a great impression on players that didn’t need to be outfitted with advanced modeling or realistic facial animation.

SOUND

CONCLUSION

Have you ever noticed that whenever you look in a game’s manual, it tells you how to put the game into the console?

I mean, what do they think we are, idiots or something? Well anyway, I believe that the manual for Katamari Damacy should have an extra step in between “Press the ‘Open’ button to close the disc drive” and “Follow onscreen instructions”: “Turn the volume up on your television set to a substantial degree.” Why? Because Katamari Damacy’s music is FUCKING GREAT. End of story.

You know, for the Halloween issue of ScrewAttack Magazine, I can’t really say that Katamari Damacy is fitting for the occasion. But I think I know how to make it relevant to current events. You know how Steve Jobs died? Smart guy, that Jobs; a genius, even.

The music is the best part of the game, and that’s really saying something.

There’s something for everyone here: electronic, J-Pop, jazz, classical, you name it. And all of it is awesome! My personal favorite track is “Katamari on the Rocks,” which is the main theme that plays during the intro and last level. For someone who just picked up the game compulsively, it’s quite an amazing soundtrack. It’s happy, harmonious, and extremely catchy. I’m surprised they don’t sell this on iTunes.

I’d go as far as to say that it’s the best soundtrack of 2004, which is, in my opinion, quite an honor.

I’d go into what makes the soundtrack so incredible, but then I’d also be spoiling the greatness in store. If you take away one thing from this review of Katamari Damacy, it’s that the game’s soundtrack is UN-FUCKING-BELIEVEABLE!

Well, Jobs was known as a guy who thought differently and through thinking differently he created some of the most incredible technology today.

So, in honor of Steve Jobs’s untimely death, I advise you, the reader, to go find and play a game that asks you to “Think Different.” Katamari Damacy may have its flaws, but it’s a joyous ride with a distinctive and undeniable charm.

The gameplay demands conquering the control and the ride is incredibly fun, but short. You can find it for $10-$20, which is a great value in the long run.

While I might have sounded very critical of Katamari Damacy in this review, it’s only because the flaws are so few, that they stand out from the otherwise nearperfect package.

Celebrate Steve Jobs and creativity with this PS2 gem (I can’t believe I used those two things in the same sentence).

Katamari Damacy: where reasoning is irrelevant.

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-PROS-

-CONS-

▲Very distinctively absurd feel

▼ Pretty short

▲ Great and unique premise

▼ Learning curve within controls

▲ Control feels rewarding when mastered

▼ Camera is a bit cumbersome at times

▲ Amazing soundtrack

▼ Glitches can make a very frustrating experience

▲ Aesthetically pleasing to look at

▼ Not as huge of a scale as its sequels

▲ FUCKING GREAT COVER ART!

▼ The King of the Cosmos is a DOUCHBAG

▲ A value at $20

BUY IT!

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To be Continued...

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THE END IS NIGH? LOOKING FORWARD AT NINTENDO’S FUTURE by g1 Cyrax Ilustration by JayPhenrix

Like any other gaming fan, I grew up playing a lot of Nintendo’s games.

The Legend of Zelda, Metroid, and, of course, the Mario Bros. franchise just to name a few.

Almost fifteen years later, many are speculating the death of a gaming giant, as well as a major player in the industry. Recently, Nintendo reported their first-ever annual loss since their entrance in the home console market in 1985, which was actually a profitable year.

That year, they introduced a small, almost unknown product called the Nintendo Entertainment System. You probably never heard of it.

With a first-ever loss, is the “Big N” doomed for a complete failure and possible liquidation?

Yes and no.

If you know me, I love to play the role of Devil’s Advocate, so I say both simply because we never know what to expect with this unpredictable company.

However, over the past five years, they’ve been unpredictable in an unfortunate and negatively received fashion, that some say has become predictable.

Exhibit A: Skyward Sword.

Now, before you start to type those angry responses, let me say that I am heavily impressed with Skyward Sword, and I think it’s the game that Wii owners have been waiting for since launch. But that’s also the thing: we’ve been waiting too long for the best that the console will have to offer. While we did have Twilight Princess, most people just decided to play it on the Nintendo GameCube (GCN) or use the GCN controller, which takes away from the point of playing the game on the Wii, really.

While I do enjoy a good Zelda game every now and then, how many times can you repeat the same thing, same story, and same almost everything with a new feature added in before it gets stale and unentertaining? If anyone is guilty of the “Call of Duty effect,” it should be rebranded as the “Zelda effect.”

Think about it for a second.

How many times have you played a Zelda game? How many times have you actually thought almost nothing has changed since Ocarina of Time, maybe even A Link to the Past? I’m guessing zero. Now, how many times have you played Call of Duty or

Battlefield? How many times have you complained about the lack of fresh ideas or repetitiveness? I’m going to assume a lot.

I’m not sure what magic Nintendo puts into their products that make them avoid this dilemma, but it certainly works. At least, until people like me have had this dilemma brought to mind. I’m not saying all Nintendo fans are “jaded,” just a bit mislead and often kicked to the curb, which brings me to my next point.

Exhibit B: Sony.

If you’re familiar with the history of the industry, Sony had a deal with Nintendo to make a CD add-on for the Super Nintendo. Sounds awesome, right?

Well, there was one catch: Nintendo had to share the rights of their characters and franchises with Sony, which Nintendo wanted no part of. Some may say it was bad business on Sony’s part, but I say it was just another deal which blew out of proportion.

What if Sony just wanted to use those rights for advertising purposes? Why can’t two Japanese companies co-exist for a powerhouse deal that would have profited both parties? I did some quick research and found out that it was due

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“my first console” for people who are looking to try out this “video game thingamajig” or kids just looking to have some fun.

Nintendo is pretty good at getting people of any age comfortable with this great industry. Heck, look at what it did for us. With games like Mario, Zelda, and all of the other great gems, how can one go wrong with such a starting point? Another thing that struck my thoughts were the outcries from parents who let their kids play Grand Theft Auto and Halo when they’re clearly too young to handle anything in those games. Also, there have been some people who say that we don’t have a rating system, when there’s a clear-asday “M” for “Mature” on the front and back of the case the games come in.

to vague terms of agreement between the two, which is a real shame.

While Sony rolled out their first PlayStation and gained a quick 70% of the market, Nintendo and Sega quickly fell behind. Nintendo would sail the CD waters, but typhoon of the Xbox on its way and the whirlpool of Sony’s PS2 sucking up any hopes of the future, Nintendo needed a miracle.

Well, they got one with the Wii, but at what cost? They haven’t really won a console war since the fourth-generation with the SNES. Sure, you can say they made the most money and sold the most consoles with the Wii, which would give them a majority win, but is that really a win with a lack of thirdparty support, terrible online system, and non-high definition capabilities in today’s industry? I beg to differ.

And finally, Exhibit C: Wii U I’m expecting this to be Nintendo’s swan song in the home console market pending it doesn’t succeed. Some of the launch titles are Battlefield, Assassin’s Creed, Batman: Arkham City, and a few other titles that may be coming to the Xbox 360 and PS3, which is a negative for Nintendo unless it gets some exclusive content. Why is that a negative aspect?

Because this console is Nintendo’s last-

ditch effort to bring back some of their lost fans. At least that’s what I’m getting with a brand new console. This’ll be the first HD compatible Nintendo console, which made me think, “Welcome to 2006!” rather than, “Welcome back, Nintendo!”

Honestly, I’d like to eat some crow and see this console succeed rather than fail, don’t get me wrong. I grew up playing Star Fox 64 and a Mario Kart game until there was no tomorrow left to play.

But the thing that gets me confused is Nintendo’s old policies that come back to bite them in the backside because developers don’t want to work with their asinine policy. Here’s hoping the new console will have a decent online system, stellar launch line-up, and a rejuvenated fan base that will look towards the future instead of looking back on nostalgic memories.

Speaking of the future (here’s the part of the column where I do a complete turn on the opinion); I got into a discussion with one of my professors who has a kid.

He brought up a very good point that’s very much valid: What if you’re a parent?

That one made me think about the whole situation. I view Nintendo as a

If I were a parent, I’d get my kid a Nintendo first, then decide when they’re ready for a PlayStation or Xbox with more mature titles than you can shake a stick at. That way, their minds are ready for something that won’t make their minds too corrupt…until college, that is. But that’s a different story.

Even if Nintendo does decide to go the way of Sega, which wouldn’t be a bad business move, they’ve got so many options to choose from allowing more creativity, as well as a bigger cash flow which is always a plus for businesses.

They could go handheld only, as that seems to be a good way to go against Sony’s Vita. Maybe they’ll be a thirdparty developer making games for the former competition’s market that’s really untapped: Early teens and younger.

Sure, Sony may have Ratchet and Clank, but that franchise has begun to show its wear and tear, and could use a boost of story ideas and innovation.

Who knows innovation better than Nintendo?

The list goes on and on about Nintendo, but everything is speculation for what they might do. Only the people at Nintendo know what lies in store for their future. If they play their cards correctly, they might find themselves at the top of the heap in the industry.

Only time can tell.

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MK9 SEASON PASS by g1 digitaldebaser - http://www.debasedtothis.org/ NetherRealm Studios and WB Games ventured into fairly uncharted territory with the MK9 Season Pass. But was it worth the hype and the cash? Absolutely, it was - for the most part at least. what they pay for when buying DLC add-ons for their games, and repeated public outcry against single character packages is well documented proof that charging anything above a few bucks for an extra character is very unpopular with customers – which is apparently popular with Capcom.

We are now finished with NetherRealm’s summer DLC campaign, and while fans enjoy the free costumes that have come out, there is no question that the characters were the main course on Mortal Kombat’s DLC buffet. It is debatable whether or not the DLC is worthy of purchase. However, it is hard to argue against the price versus product ratio that Mortal Kombat 9 offers.

be offering what they called a Season Pass. The Season Pass would offer fans a chance to get all four fighters for the price of three. Sure, customers would have to pony up $15 at once, but the purchase ensured the download of Skarlet, Kenshi, Rain, and the fourth mystery DLC character – who would more or less be a freebie with the Season Pass.

NetherRealm Studios had announced shortly after MK9’s release that there would be extra characters added over time as DLC, but the price of these characters wasn’t mentioned until later on. They eventually stated that each character DLC pack would be worth the equivalent of $5 but would also

A discount program for their DLC packages is arguably the best move NRS could make seeing that fans are fervently gnashing their teeth at the idea of paying five bucks per character – something that the heavily criticized Capcom is accused of embracing. Fans want to know that they are getting

Paying for content that is already on the disc is not a popular move in the eyes of gamers either, and NRS did choose to go that avenue with the Classic Skins Pack #1(one can only assume that there shall be a CSP #2 later on). The pack offered all of the classic outfits that were given as pre-order content, but the fact that this content was already on the disc still upset some fans and made them wary that NRS and Warner Bros were trying to milk every dollar that they could with DLC packages – y’know, the gaming equivalent of going to the Dark Side.

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Mortal Kombat 9 needed a home run to sell this as the best DLC package money could buy and a package that boosts the game’s image.

in a second package, but the idea of more characters and even mini-games like Motor Kombat or Puzzle Kombat doesn’t seem impossible.

That home run came in the form of Freddy Krueger. Freddy has been received with mixed reactions from both Mortal Kombat fans and gamer alike, but the reaction appears to be mainly positive. The addition of Freddy could also reel in some potential buyers who were on the fence about buying the game.

Many MK fans loved the extra modes in past games, and giving NRS extra time to perfect the mini-games would be the best course of action. If the price of a second package is fair and the content is worthy of purchase, then fans will embrace more. The most important part of any DLC that involves extra characters is to ensure that the extras do not offset the game’s balance. Skarlet, Kenshi,

Kratos may be a large enough name to spark interest, but Freddy Krueger is a name of legend.

I’d argue that a n y o n e who enjoys video games and classic horror films would consider buying Mortal Kombat for Freddy alone. Furthermore, the success of the MK Season Pass could mean another DLC package in the future.

Only the future can tell what would be included

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Rain, and Freddy offer new and interesting ways to play, but their presence is not mandatory in order to win matches.

This puts the fear of DLC being a must buy in order to stay competitive to rest.

While Skarlet may be the only new character to join the roster, she doesn’t rely on cheapness or bells and whistles to be a worthwhile character to learn.

This blood assassin relies on speed, quick hits, and intense combo damage to take down the competition and playing her is challenging enough to lure in players who are looking for their next character to master and tear through

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online Ranked matches with. She slightly damages herself in order to inflict more damage on opponents, and she is able to inflict high amounts of damage in under ten hits with fierce combos.

On the other hand, Skarlet’s arsenal of fast attacks and heavy combos may also backfire in the hands of some players who aren’t looking for a fair fight.

Her blade and teleport attacks can easily be spammed, and her speed possibly helps the spamming along a little too much. Combine that with her top combos which usually consist of fortypercent damage with eight hits, and it may create a solid reason to nerf her in future patches.

Long time Mortal Kombat fans will remember Kenshi when he first joined the MK roster in Deadly Alliance. Significant changes have been made to Kenshi so that he better represents the blind swordsman with telekinetic powers instead of an alternate Ermac model. His combos are fairly easy to perform, he is able to be played at virtually all ranges, and he is able to dish out heavy damage

at close range. I do not believe that he is as good as Skarlet, but he is still a character worthy of playing. An issue I’ve experienced with Kenshi is that some of his special attacks are entirely too fast to perform and too easy to spam. Attempting to retaliate with one’s own ranged attack leads to a psychic pummeling, and attempting to close in on Kenshi proves to be just as taxing. The best counter I’ve seen to this has been a teleport, and not all characters have a teleport move. Kenshi is also slightly slower than other characters with regular attacks, but his sword combos are easy enough that players can spam six hit combos easier than Liu Kang players can. Kenshi is an easy character to turtle up with, and only patience and strategy can break his ridiculous defenses. Kenshi really can be a lamer’s wet dream.

Next on the list of DLC characters is Rain. He still has several of his classic moves along with a new teleport move and upkick. I have a blast playing Rain.

I love to see what I can do with him, and I also love learning more about the character that I didn’t realize at first.

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Learning Rain’s combos isn’t easy; timing is everything when playing him. His unique style of play and challenging combos is what makes me believe that he is the most interesting character to play out of the whole bunch. Prince’s “Purple Rain” never plays during any fights as or against Rain, but I suppose I can forgive that.

Rain isn’t without his flaws. As mentioned earlier, Rain’s combos are tough to master and require great timing. Couple that with the feeling that Rain doesn’t respond as smoothly as the other characters – at least on the Xbox 360 version – and a headache along with a mountain of frustration is bound to come pouring down. He is also rather slow compared to other characters, and I’ve seen where that can cause issues in some matchups. It is an issue that can be overcome with practice, but it is discouraging to be demolished after practicing up combos just to lose to speed.

Freddy may be the big draw for the Season Pass, but is he worth the hype? NRS did a great job of portraying Freddy. His mannerisms are in place, his special moves make sense, and his Fatalities are amazing.

The horror fan in me gets a kick out of the beginning of each match when Freddy emerges from the flames, bellowing a maniacal laugh and sprawling the claws from both gloves. I believe Robert Englund would approve of their work.

Krueger has fun combos, a decent balance, and decent special moves, but I feel that he isn’t very unique other than being Freddy Krueger. He has a teleport move that has been used to death in MK9, he has an attack that can be dialed in for short, mid, or long range, and he has both standing and ground projectiles – attributes that other characters in the game already possess and do just as well if not better.

I’m not entirely certain what else could be done with Freddy at this point, but he feels like a mesh of other characters at times. Perhaps I am judging a character that has recently been released

too harshly, but I wasn’t truly blown away by what the Freddy character had to offer.I do not actively purchase DLC for games that I have bought. Like many other gamers, I want to get to the most value in content for what I’m paying.

While I – and many other gamers out there – loathe the idea of paying for content that is obvious on the disc to begin with, I can overlook the MK Classic Skins Pack that must be purchased separately to focus solely on what the Season Pass offers. It comes at a fair, affordable price that technically reduces the price of each character to under $4, and it has been supported by free costume DLC that was released over time alongside it. Add in how wonderful the

free costumes are, and the lack of the Classic Skins Pack becomes even more forgivable.

I find the MK Season Pass to be an awesome buy for anyone who loves Mortal Kombat 9 and Freddy Krueger. There will certainly be plenty of debate over whether it was a worthy purchase or not, but I am thrilled with my purchase.

As mentioned earlier, I am somewhat annoyed that the Classic Skins Pack wasn’t included, but I don’t feel cheated at all.

The free extras that have been released over time quickly make me forget all about the Classic Skins Pack with such gems as Cyber Sub-Zero dressing up as Hydro for Halloween.

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ANIME -REVIEWAstarotte no Omocha! by g1 Madhog thy Master Warning: the contents of this review might scar you for life. Proceed at your own discretion.

If you happen to be a hardcore, nicheoriented gamer with a particular taste over unique Japan-imported interactive extravaganzas, chances are you might be familiar with the name of Yui Haga. If you’re not familiar with the name itself, you’re bound to at least be aware of its most renounced visual products - specifically, the outstanding artwork for the acclaimed TacticalRPG meta-series known as “Disgaea.”

► Disgea Characters.

Which also makes him responsible for giving actual shape to everyone’s favorite demon penguin slave, the Prinny.

If you are wondering what kind of projects does Haga-san busy himself with when he’s not drawing pictures of flatchested half-naked succubi... well, he’s actually drawing and writing stories about flat-chested half-naked succubi.

Yui Haga, as an independent artist (and I use the term loosely), is quite renowned for his huge lolicon fan base.

In other words, his stories are made for an audience of pedophiles - I am not even kidding here. The person that provided a unique aesthetical dimension to the self-aware, self-bashing satirical bonanza that defined part of the appeal of the “Disgaea” franchise, when left alone and without direction, actually conceived and published a serialized manga about a 10 years old girl discovering her “love” for a young male adult. Thus, something like “Lotte no Omocha!” (literally translated as “Lotte’s Toy!”) was allowed to exist in this world. The “joyous” part about this whole ordeal is that the story itself is not a porn - although I’m pretty sure

its hardcore fans will have already “fixed” that problem. It presents itself in the irritatingly hypocritical form of a “funloving”, light-hearted fantasy comedy in which the female protagonist is a little succubus princess by the name of Astarotte (way to butcher the Phoenician mythology, by the way) that, as the very “nature” of her race dictates, must learn about two fundamental facts of life: 1) She has to like men.

2) She has to “suck” their “life-seed” in order to live.

The only problem is that she hates males because of a trauma she experienced at a younger age after seeing her mother (the queen of the magical realm this plot is set in) having wild sex with one of her many, many man-servants. Despite her tutor’s “better” judgment, Lotte refuses to have her personal harem. She does, however, out of spite, challenge

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of love and friendship in the wake of “Kanon.” Now for the question of 200 million yens: is there any hope for the anime version of “Lotte no Omocha!” (renamed “Astarotte no Omocha!”) to be even remotely bearable?

This is the answer.

her advisor, Judit, to find herself a “human male” she would gladly give a euphemistical blowjob to - yes, we’ve got a running gag on our hands. Wouldn’t you know it? - A human specimen is easily found after Judit opens a gate to the realm of Man through Yggdrasil, the World Tree - they’re misusing the Norse mythology as well, it seems. Some random 23 years-old generic male protagonist by the name of Naoya is immediately hired (and paid) to be Lotte’s toy (oh look, it’s the title of the story), much

to her initial “Tsundere”-like dismay.

She will eventually learn to appreciate his presence.

Naturally, an animation just had to be made in order to “celebrate” this outstanding “Coming of Age” tale about young love and sexual awareness Sarcasm knows my name. Bafflingly enough, the studio that provided said episodic rendition, Diomedea, was also the same that animated “Sola” - a genuinely tragic, heart-shattering tale

Even if the plot was somehow able to recover from the absolute hideousness of its premise with the aid of some witty, meta-analytical writing (you know, like in “Disgaea”), the show is so ludicrously ridden with repeated sexual innuendos and fan-service that would make “Ikki Tousen” look like “Sister Act” in comparison - of all things.

On that note, the pacing and (nonexistant) narration are non-sensical and incoherent to the point of utter retardation, the characters are all onedimensional, unlikeable mind freaks shaped after all possible fetishes known to man, and the only reason for such an abomination to exist in the first place is to promote pedo-pornography via unfunny, implicitly “hentai” animated comedy.

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Let me expand on that sentence by describing the cast. Let’s talk about the comprimari first: there’s Judit, Astarotte’s tutor, a glasses-wearing dominatrix whose only purpose in this flic is to constantly remind the male lead about his sexual obligations towards his mistress - subtlety is a lost art, apparently. She, however, is nothing compared to Effie, the customary airheaded maid with a ridiculously generous bosom. Let’s just say there’s a certain running gag in this anime concerning Effie’s unique “milking” talent.

Believe it or not, as far as mind-jarringly awful and traumatizing this character is (I’ll never look at a pair of giant breasts the same way again), that doesn’t even begin to cover the true logic-defying horrors filling this show’s gratuitous display of depravity.

Introducing one of the main players of this Greek Tragedy of bad taste, little Asuha, a relative of Naoya that quickly befriends the future “Master of Sucking”, princess Lotte. To point out all the little things that are utterly wrong about her very existance, one would have to develop a spin-off site out of Wikipedia and name it “Asuhapedia” in order to write about them!As if taking an imaginary reference from “Asuhapedia”, here’s a few elements that define her character: she’s a happy-golucky kid that loves to run around with her skirt, without wearing any panties (running joke); she’s the official provider of all the inevitable, “subtle” lesbian moments in the show; she’s totally okay about her daddy working as a manwhore for her girl-friend and she also cheers him on. That’s just the tip of the iceberg, by the way.

► Is that a cowbell? Oh dear...

The real “Element of Disharmony” comes in the form of the single most preposterous, shocking, offensive, mindblowing plot twist ever jerked out of a brain-cells’ mishap.

I have to warn you, the following paragraph might cause the flowing of your blood towards your head and your other vital organs to suddenly stop, resulting in a horrible death. With that said, let’s just delve into it.

When I previously stated that Asuha was a relative of the male lead, I actually meant something a bit more troublesome than that: she’s actually Naoya’s daughter...

Naoya, a 23 years old man, is the biological father of a 10 years old girl.

Apparently, he was raped (or “convinced into it”) by an older woman at the age of 13. The woman in question was none other than succubus queen Mercelida Ygvar I, Astarotte’s mother.

Meaning that Asuha is really the illegitimate sister of the princess of all succubi.

Also meaning that “Naoya-Otosan” is actually working as a sex toy for the other daughter of his own daughter’s mother.

Also, considering the fact that both Asuha and Astarotte share the same age, it would basically imply that the queen was somehow able to conceive them at the same time. That is not logically possible since the two girls are not twins and they both had a different father which makes for the dumbest plot hole ever. Despite learning about all of this around episode 3 and 4, Naoya still falls in love with the little blonde demon who just happens to be a blood relative of his offspring.

Now, I want all of you to take a deep breath, empty your head from any “impure” thought and follow my reasoning for a minute. Ignoring the already mentioned plot-canyon, this whole twisted, morally-challenged scenario could have actually worked wonders if it was placed inside a totally-straight, dead serious family drama with some solid and bold writing. Think about it: we’ve got a male protagonist who had his first

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► Expect one of these “artworks” to pop out at the middle of every chapter sex experience at a young age, basically destroying his childhood, and he was also forced to take care of an unwanted daughter that was just 13 years younger than him. He learns to love her and he matures in the process, yet by the time his girl turns 10, his mind is so messed up by his past trauma that he seems to lack the ability to acknowledge what is considered “socially appropriate.”

To further wrangle his life, Astarotte is introduced, which is basically a miniaturized version of his first lover - did someone order a coup of symbolism?

So here’s the conflict that lies within our anti-hero’s mind: not only does he fall for a little girl because her mother was a horrible meretrix that ruined him for good, but the object of his desire is actually responding to his feelings out of a dangerous childish crush. As you can see, such a premise would very well set up a dark psychologically-driven tale about guilt, heart-wrecking pain and forbidden love that could even manage to outclass the sheer level of bold writing that defined a series like “Koi Kaze” - a courageous story about incest.

For a short moment it even seemed that the anime was actually going to tackle this delicate situation with the proper sensibility by providing some interesting insight analysis on the character of queen Mercelida. Apparently, her entire life has been a constant fight between her natural born lust towards men (and occasionally women) and her own sorrowful regrets towards her two daughters, her “darling” and her whole family in general. It is in fact revealed that, in order to become the ruler of that magical kingdom, she actually had to murder all of her siblings, because that was the only way to survive a power struggle. As a result, she decided to leave Asuha in the care of a then too young Naoya because she actually feared for her life. It would appear that I’m putting way too much thought into this diegesis than the authors themselves did, but that’s just to prove the point that this story had, in retrospect, an amazing potential... Naturally it turned out to be a total cluster-fail, instead.

In an epic effort to completely override

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all of its promises, the anime “casually” forgets all the basic rules of story-telling for the sake of underage pseudo-nudity, numerous panty shots, tasteless “light-hearted” humor and a complete lack of any interesting outcomes. All the possible family drama scenarios are instantly “resolved” by ignoring them, all the plot points are left to die out somewhere around the mid episodes and none of the characters achieve any dose of credibility or likeability - there’s even a socially-accepted pedophile prince appearing at some point, of all bloody things! The only player to show some real emotional weight in this brain-tumor of an animated recital, Mercelida, was given the boot right after briefly mentioning her tumultuous backstory - perhaps it was too “dark” for this happy-go-lucky loli-comedy now, wasn’t it? Every episode gets slightly more nauseous then the previous one with its “great” variety of fan-service prostitution hypocritically promoted as decent entertainment, making “Astarotte no Omocha!” the worst non-”hentai” anime show that I’ve ever seen - even worse than the Japanese “Twilight” and that Magical Zombie slugfest.

As a matter of fact, watching an actual “hentai” anime would be a much less insulting, creepy and more “culturally uplifting” experience than this one - at least, it would be completely, shamelessly honest about its true, unmistakable nature. Yui Haga should just stick drawing pictures for someone else (namely Nippon Ichi) and stay very, very far away from any computer, typing machine and non-fictional child.

My score for “Astarotte no Omocha!” is:

Epic Fail: You fail at life.

Here’s something to wrap your mind with: Lotte makes a cameo appearance in “Disgaea 4” as the host divinity of the “Omega Ice” spell. Think about that...

“Lotte no Omocha!” might actually be set in the same narrative multi-verse of Nippon Ichi’s most popular franchise.

Think about that before going to sleep tonight.

(P.S. I’m still buying “Disgaea 4”, by the way)

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Online Gaming and I Don’t Seem to Get Along by g1 DarthNocturnal

I have had my fair share of online gaming woes. I remember learning how to go through my router and open specific ports so that my NAT was Open when playing Halo Reach. While some games should be praised for their solidarity, online is a big part of gaming these days. Read on to see how DarthNocturnal has experienced online gaming and if your experience is different, please share in the comments.

Too many of you (if not all), playing a game with friends is probably rather easy, whether it be locally or online. Especially online. I imagine many of you currently just turn on your 360 or PS3, see which of your friends are in a game of MW3 (or Battlefield 3, I don’t discriminate), and join up. Me... Yeah, not so much.

As it stands for locally playing, I have no friends who live nearby to get together with and play, well, anything. Online seems right up my alley... or it WOULD be if a series of problems (both in and outside my control) seem to keep popping up. I figure I must be insanely unlucky (or cursed), but maybe there is someone out there with similar issues?

Well, let’s take a look.

First off, many of my games, while fun for me, and possibly fun for my friends, aren’t usually picked up by said friends as purchases due to interest priority, and vice versa. A good recent case in point is one of my friends, who, like many, got MW3. Of course, I didn’t. Not out of disdain (I’ve played many previous titles and enjoyed them), but because I have other games I give priority. And well, its works the same way with the games they get (of course there’s also the matter of having the same games, but that said games don’t have online). I really don’t expect my friend to get Sega Allstars Racing (one example) anytime soon.

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A common sight for everyone... sans me Of course, this is no real fault of either of us. We each have different interests.

And I would like to get MW3 (and other games) if only because then I might be able to play with him (and others), unless... their NAT is bad.

So, unbelievably, two of my friends had gotten Transformers: War for Cybertron.

Of course, I was glad that there was finally a game we could potentially play together. Heck, three guys is enough for a Co-op Campaign team, only one man short of an Escalation room, and two short of a multiplayer team (its five in War for Cybertron).

Host migration is the right of all sentient beings!...so uh, make sure it’s in Fall of Cybertron, OK High Moon?

So, one of my friends and I were ready to join up for... well any of those modes... but then...

“The room you are trying to join is either full or not available” This puzzled me, as we were trying to get into a party room, and then go on into actual games. And I knew my connection was fine (several games said Open NAT). Then I asked my friend what his was... Moderate. Just fantastic.

Eventually, it was clear BOTH my friends had this issue, (the fact I’m able to easily connect with my cousin, who also has Open NAT, means my end should be fine). To this day, we’ve been trying to fix, but to no avail. It could be the way their ISP works, how they configure their routers, or just about anything.

Connection issues also happened with

a game on another console. Namely, Monster Hunter Tri on Wii. An online friend of mine (one of very few) and I had fun times... until his connection just outright refused to let him get on. Oh, and let’s not forgot how we wished we could play together in Monster Hunter Freedom Unite (We did for... a very brief time using 3rd party tunneling application XLink Kai... something messed up, of course). Then, last month, near Thanksgiving (for those puzzled, Canadians’ Thanksgiving Day is in early October), I finally got a PS3.

With one major bonus being Ad-Hoc Party. Since this friend ALSO had a PS3, I was hoping we’d finally get to smash Rathalos’ face in again (among other monsters)...but of course, he didn’t have a stable connection at the time, so, cue waiting a month before we played. And who knows how long it’ll last.

SCREWATTACK MAGAZINE - DECEMBER Now, this all pretty much renders me alone when it comes to gaming. Oh sure, I might go online and just join the hordes of random folks... but, it gets boring after a while. For instance, in games where you’re with fairly large groups of people (shooters and racing games for example), it seems more like you’re fighting/ racing bots with randomly set AI levels. In games with smaller groups (Monster Hunter Tri is a good example), not so much. Nevertheless, it goes without saying that playing with actual friends is infinitely more fun.

Additionally, due to what I can only assume is some form of (or related to) social anxiety, I always fear ticking off one or more players by to messing up (ESPECIALLY unintentionally). Moreover, if it’s one on one, like say, a fighting game? Well, let’s just say that of all my time spent playing Marvel vs. Capcom 3, most of that time was Arcade mode.

Because I dislike the idea of either A: getting curb stomped and then chewed out just because I’m not a master, or B: actually winning.... and getting chewed out for being “cheap” (although, my play style might be what you call “accidentally cheap”...well, I never fight human opponents so, that’s likely why).

Although, I will admit that I’m probably just paranoid about that.

It’s funny, because I always thought I could relate to Spiderman in a few ways...

I’m also not one to go into forums and the like and actively seek out people to play with. I just don’t think I’d have the will (or courage?) to. There is some good news. I do get to play with one other online friend in Monster Hunter Tri (that’s like, the ONLY game that seems to avoid all this in one way or another.) When I go to visit my relatives, my cousins and I are usually playing Zombies in either Call of Duty: World at War or Call of Duty: Black Ops. As well as other games (Army of Two: 40th Day is a surprisingly well-put together co-op game. Co-op happens to be my forte).

So really, while most of you here get to use your friends lists as functions... for me, adding is more formality, and usually won’t be followed by actually PLAYING together online. In addition, to its curse-like inconsistency.

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Sentimental Intern: When We Used Imagination to Hype Games

by Shaun McLane Ilustration by ramon-andrade Yesterday at ScrewAttack, a small, albeit important topic came up during lunch. We said a few things about it, then went back to work. However the topic of discussion stuck with me. It bothered me, made me itch. The conversation was about imagination; gamer’s imaginations. At the site, like most, we are in a constant race to supply our readers with the most recent, most interesting stories that we can find, but along with how much publishers are willing to show off their new games, are we not being a bit too gluttonous; eating every bit of information that we find, and spoiling our hunger for the game itself once it is released?

Catwoman trailer, the Robin trailer, the Penguin trailer, the Debut trailer, the Launch trailer, the Joker trailer, the Nightwing trailer, the Hugo Strange reveal trailer, and the Riddler teaser. Do we as gamers really need 10 plus trailers to quench our thirst for information on the games that we are so passionate for? For some, the answer is yes, but for me, and many gamers that were playing back in the good ol’ magazine days, we remember when games were glorified not by gameplay trailers, or stupid videos with 99 Problems in the background, but with magazines that had text, screenshots, and made us use imaginations.

Batman: Arkham City is one of the most popular and critically acclaimed games this holiday season. Great combat, cool gadgets, a highly detailed open environment and classic villains all make it a great experience. I know it is a great game, I know what characters are in it, and I know a couple of details about certain levels, and I have actually never played it. Not once.

I can recall specifically, the most influential screenshot that got many of my friends talking. It was the 1st screen released for GTA 3, in Official Playstation Magazine (R.I.P.)

I love Batman, but I really never got involved with Arkham Asylum, nor Arkham City. Rocksteady surely did a great job of making gamers believe in super hero games, and it is wonderful that gamers can finally be the Bat. I am sure that eventually I will get around to playing through both, and I am looking forward to when I do, I was turned off from the game when the publisher decided to, in my opinion, over- market the game with its varied trailers. I feel bad for anyone that was really looking forward to playing, only to have it spoiled by the Mr. Freeze trailer, the

While PS 1 games like Driver 2 had already explored and made evident that open world crime games could be successful, this single screenshot was the topic discussion between my friends and I for weeks, nay months, at school in between classes and in lunch lines. A game where you could get out of a car, shoot people with a gun, and drive off in 3 dimensions was the Holy Grail of an action gamer’s imagination. Possibilities were endless.

Who would we play as? Were we going to be a cop? Where is the game set? Can you blow up cars with guns?

Although these were all possible in the original underrated GTA games, these were legitimate questions that gamers did not know the answer to.

There was a time when gamers waited month-to-month to hear the news. I realize today that we as people no longer have the patience for such an archaic method of retaining our information, but I do think that between us as gamers, and publishers as money makers, we cannot live in a world without divulging ourselves in every detail of a game before it comes out. We are impatient, we are full of anticipation, and we are greedy.

The last game I can remember (excluding any Rockstar game, because I believe they market their games beautifully, and never give out too much information) that really captured my imagination, and had our friends talking, was the original Bioshock. I can remember watching the reveal trailer several times over, just wondering what was going on, and why a giant man (or monster) in a diver suit murdered someone to hold hands with a little girl.

I bought Bioshock the day it came out not because of a review score, or because I knew every detail about it. I had not seen a single gameplay video.

I bought it because I saw a teaser, and talking about it with my friends turned it into a game that was going to be one of the best we had ever played.

Now for people a bit younger than me, that never knew what it was like to NOT see gameplay footage, or a 8.9/10 before purchasing a game, they may not understand what I am talking about at all, but gamers that have been playing for around 15 plus years, they will undoubtedly remember the magic that I speak of.

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Analyzing A Rumor: Half-Life 3 Achievements by g1 REVULSIVE

You may be aware of an image that began circulating the internet in the past few days, allegedly of the official achievements of Half-Life 3. I’m going to take you through this image and show you several reasons why you should doubt the legitimacy of it.

But if you are NOT familiar with the story, read the full story here.

Let’s take a look at the image in question... Yeah, that’s not bad. At a quick glance, it’s convincing. It was convincing enough to get a few gullible nerds riled up, but I don’t buy it. Not. For. A. Second.

First, let’s look at the Half-Life 3 logo in the upper right.

Jeez, look at that compression!

Does this look familiar? (See Intro ilustration) It’s called Terrible! That’s called ARTIFACTING, it’s the result of compress- “Advisor,” a collaborative effort made back in 2008 by ing an image.

Ted Backman, Jeremy Bennett, and Tristan Reidford. This originally showed up on an art website that centers around It’s most commonly seen in JPEGs. However, the ORIGINAL im- video game art called intothepixel.com.The concept art is, age of the screenshot is a PNG. as far as I know, official, and the artists behind it are real people who really exist and actually work at Valve... but “Now why should this matter?” you may be asking. Because it’s painfully obvious that the only reason it was used is bePNGs don’t create compression artifacts. The artifacting is only cause it’s the only official image out there of Half-Life 2: on the logo.

Episode 3.

SCREWATTACK MAGAZINE - DECEMBER I suppose there’s no reason for why they couldn’t use it for a full-fledged sequel... but it’s from 2008. Do you think that the box art for Half-Life 2 always looked the way it did? Even 4 years before it was released?

Moving on, let’s look at the achievements.

Let’s talk about the percentages. Now, if it’s true that Half-Life 3 has been in development for a long time, then it might make some sense that there are percentages for the achievements on Steam. But does it really?

No. It doesn’t. The way Steamworks WORKS is the achievements have to be available for you to unlock them. Let’s just assume that, since it’s Valve and Valve OWNS STEAM, that they’re able to work around this.

Okay, why are the percentages so low? If the game has been in the testing phase for a long time, then would I not be correct in assuming that EVERYONE who played it should have these achievements?

These seem like unavoidable achievements, which are the easiest ones to unlock. A good example of this is “Unbound” from Skyrim, but as it stands even that one isn’t 100%. Somehow.

But this is VALVE we’re talking about, not just the community. They’re the ones (presumably) playing, so if you

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really can’t avoid the achievement, then the percentage should be 100%.

Besides, how many people at Valve are actually playing through and unlocking these achievements? I’m not very good at math, but 79.2%? Where does the .2 come from?! The development team isn’t THAT big!

This is... it’s just baffling, and ill-thoughtout on the faker’s behalf.

Look at the names. Every single one is a reference.

“The Eagle Has Landed” is a book by Jack Higgins set in World War II. It was later adapted to film.

A Perfect Circle is a rock band (and they’re very good, I might add).

Iced Earth is a metal band (and they’re also good).

Niflheim is a world from Norse mythology.

Cliffhanger is a very obvious reference to the movie Cliffhanger (the icon even alludes to the movie poster).

Let’s compare the abundance of references to the amount of references in Half-Life 2. We’ll look at the first five like the screenshot.

Malcontent is defined as... really? No, none of them are references, and if they are then they aren’t flat out SAYING

► Achivements Half-Life 3?

WHAT THEY’RE REFERENCING. Okay, okay. Let’s also look at Episode 1 and Episode 2 as well...

Three(?) references.

Elevator Action is an arcade game from 1983 made by Taito.

Attica is a reference to the Attica prison riots in which prisoners shouted “Attica! Attica!” The story behind it is much deeper than this, but we’ll get into it in a second.

Escape From City 17 COULD be a reference. I’m doubtful though. Escape from New York, Escape from Alcatraz, Escape from Planet Earth... Wait, that last one isn’t out yet.

Two references!

The only one that is mentioned BY NAME is a VIDEO GAME! A very popular one! It’s not a movie or a band.

Attica, on the other hand, makes some sense in context.

As you can see, it’s given for shooting down a helicopter.

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On September 13th, 1971, during the prison riot, an Army helicopter was used to drop tear gas and shoot the inmates.

There is more to the story, but we’ll leave it at that.

Regardless, Valve doesn’t make references too often. They’re often witty, and sometimes they’re puns. Heh, “Gunishment.”

Those percentages look eerily similar... but anyway.

The only reference from the “Half-Life 3” list that sounds like a reference Valve would make is “The Eagle Has Landed.”

Uh... one reference? Meet the Hunters is a similar to Team Fortress 2’s “Meet the ______” videos. So they’re referencing themselves? Unless they’re referencing Meet the Parents.

Now let’s move on to the... uh... color.

The color? Yes. I noticed something odd about it. You see? On the top is Episode Two, while “Half-Life 3” is on the bottom. It’s slightly darker for some reason,

but it shouldn’t be unless Valve decided to change the Steam layout.

I should note that yes, I am indeed using the Steam website for the achievement

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Internet Explorer, obviously recent. Either Windows 98 or Windows XP with the “Classic” theme. You know why that is? Because it’s easier to Photoshop. I’d also like to point out how barren the toolbar is. Yeah, mine isn’t like that! But anyway, let’s look at my toolbar.

Do you know what font is being used? Segoe UI, but it’s modified a bit when it’s actually implemented into the UI. It makes editing harder to do.

I noticed something else about the font too! There’s a slight outlining of red and blue. It’s actually emulated in the screenshot, so let’s take a look at it!

You see? That’s not so easy to Photoshop. It makes me think that the fake screenshot is using a fake website, or at least something to that extent. It certainly would explain how it’s able to emulate this, and it would also explain why the color of the background is a bit off, like I mentioned earlier.

Either way, it’s not too much harder to Photoshop the Windows 7 theme, and it would have been a hell of a lot more convincing.

True facts! All of them!

But, I wasn’t able to emulate the red and blue outlining which is why I’m so positive that the original screenshot is not a Photoshop. However...

THE VERDICT screenshots just like the “screenshot” in question.

Let’s look at the theme used in the screenshot.

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Elmo’s Rants: Nightmare on Elmo Street by g1 Elmo 3000 Hi everyone. Is it too late to pretend that this is a special blog for Halloween? Yes? Well, screw it, I’m writing it anyway.

Games come in many varieties. You have your adventures, run’n’guns, strategy, RPG, etc... but within these varieties, age ratings come into play. Nothing wrong with that, I wouldn’t want to see a toddler playing God of War. Especially because they’d be doing better than me. The problem here is that any game suitable for an audience of say, 3 year olds is a game that probably has to have been aimed directly at them, with nothing much to attract older gamers.

Nevertheless, if the gameplay is fun, people will look past this. Animal Crossing, Pikmin, hell, the Mario series probably counts too. Games that are suitable for kids and adults too, despite the lack of adult content. It helps that ‘adult content’ usually translates to violence, swearing and nudity, none of which really has an effect on the gameplay.

But still, some games are labeled as specifically for kids. The content in games for older audiences would be too unsuitable or offensive or downright disturbing for them to play.

So it’s a good thing there’s nothing in those games available to kids that could freak them out, eh?

In case you can’t tell, that’s what the blog is about. You may have gotten the hint when you saw that the thumbnail for the blog was the moon from Majora’s Mask. Eep. Anyway, there are two main ways something in a game can be creepy.

First, it can just be... creepy. You know, unnerving, weird-looking, awkward, and horrible to look at, those kinds of things. Then there are things that are creepy for gameplay reasons. When you play Resident Evil 4 and hear a chainsaw revving up, are you scared of the possible death sequence you’ve seen a dozen times, or the fact that an attack from a chainsaw is an instant kill and your progress will be lost? Probably a mixture.

Going back to the first game of my childhood, here’s a good example Commander Keen 4, the game that gave us the Dopefish!

Let’s start from the top-left and work our way down. Well, that right there is the most dangerous part of one of the most dangerous levels. The only level which features that background, the tar on the wall. The platforms all fall away the second you step on them and the tar underneath them is bottomless.

Instant death, even with God Mode on.

Strangely enough, some tar does have a bottom underneath, if the screen scrolls with you when you fall. You can walk around under it, and pressing up anywhere underneath the tar makes Keen walk through a door and end the level.

Still, it’s creepy, it’s dark, and you’re very close to dying. Next, on the topright, the trees have eyes. They open and shut from time to time. I’m not sure why, they just do. For 20 years, I thought they were mouths until I printscreened it and looked closer. Still... why give the trees eyes? What do they do?

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What are they thinking? Are they alive?

Bottom-right and you have the freakiest enemies in the game. Not only do they scuttle around way too quickly, they cannot be killed. Shots stun them, but they recover and get right back to killing you. They’re called Arachnuts, and they’re the bane of every level they appear in. Just look at them! A mess of eyes in the middle, two mouths on stalks, killing Keen on contact... *shivers*.

Lastly, the Skypests. They can only be destroyed by landing on them using your pogo stick while they’re on the ground.

They’re feared for gameplay reasons - they fly around at random, and unless you look up every time you make a jump, which takes too long to be practical. So if you play the game for a while, you will jump directly into one as it’s on the way down and instantly lose a life. It’s just startling to happen so suddenly.

So there are some examples, ways things from a game can be creepy no matter who the audience. But I have some more specific ideas in mind. I’ve prepared to top 5 creepiest, freakiest and scariest things... from games for little kids.

Enjoy sleeping tonight!

5) DEATH OF YOUR ALLIES IN PIKMIN/POKÉMON

► You killed the Fiery Dweevil, but was it worth it?

In Red/Blue, the tune went ever so slightly differently.

For this tune to play in the game makes the place sound more like a town full of zombies. Zombies dying of terminal diseases who were the last living things left on Earth. It doesn’t seem to really have a pattern, and all the things that trainers did/said that seemed respectful before suddenly seem terrifying when paired with this. Get on your bike and cycle through Lavender Town as quickly as you can.

With that in mind, Pikmin’s music never becomes that unnerving or unnatural, but you don’t see the graves of Pikmin - you see them die and their very souls float upwards and disappear with one final mortal cry of anguish.

Actually, I’m pretty sure that picture is due to Olimar’s appearance in Super Smash Bros Brawl. So replace ‘the Fiery Dweevil’ with ‘Wario’ or someone. Anyway, losing a Pikmin isn’t too tragic by itself. But if you attack a large enemy with a small force, or accidentally wander too near water, expect to hear the wails of dozens of Pikmin, each dying.

I won’t pretend that it’s as serious as some of the fears in Resident Evil games or Manhunt, but it’s still surprisingly awful for the player to experience.

Ah yes. My indecisiveness shows again, as the very first entry is a tie. Whilst Pokémon is enjoyed by players of all ages, it’s just as popular with children as it is with adults, which is why a great deal of Pokémon players today are still scared of Lavender Town. In Pokémon Gold/Silver, the town’s tune was mournful and sorrowful, but gentle and mellow as well.

It wasn’t a sad tune, just rather sobering in comparison to the tunes you’d have heard elsewhere during the game and so it should have been, it was a city with a giant tower housing rows upon rows of Pokémon graves. The NPCs who didn’t fight you were full of remorseful remarks and tears for their lost friends.

On the bright side, you’d be surprised how careful this can make players ensure that no Pikmin gets left behind.Overall, for these to be happening in games is nothing abnormal, but it’s hard to think over the situation without feeling a little down.

Lavender Town is a mass graveyard for your fallen comrades, and Pikmin has you marching a loyal army of creatures (albeit with lemming-like intelligence) to their possible deaths if you’re not paying as much attention as possible, and even then, you’re bound to lose one or two along the way.

Neither of them are highlights.

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4) THE RETURN OF TAP-TAP IN YOSHI’S ISLAND Tap-Tap, the red-nose reindeer! Was a very shiny boss!

But when he fought with Yoshi! He was dealt a flaming loss!

This is where my list loses credibility with people who didn’t also find this creepy, because it’s from Yoshi’s Island, a truly excellent game with incredibly few flaws. And remarkably, I’m not talking about Baby Bowser’s transformation into a giant 3D boss, or the fact that in later levels, skeleton versions of normal enemies begin to appear (may be limited to those bird-type enemies.) Nope, I’m talking about the one-time reappearance of Tap-Tap the Red-Nose, or the first sighting of Tap-Tap the Golden, depending on how you take the wording of Nintendo Power.

The first time you see Tap-Tap is when he’s one of the bosses in one of the last castles in the game, and it’s a really great boss fight too. Since you can only knock him off-balance with your eggs, you have to break the blocks inside the boss room and trick him into jumping/ falling into the lava. Considering that most other boss fights are won by just throwing eggs at the enemy, it’s an original and impressive idea. And it’s not scary!

Then... he comes back on the last level of the game. When you get to Baby Bowser’s castle, there are four paths to

► Tap-Tap, the red-nose reindeer! Was a very shiny boss! But when he fought with Yoshi! He was dealt a flaming loss! choose from, and choosing path 3 gets you into a room with some red coins and a friendly message block. I wonder what helpful advice it has for me!

Straight away, that’s out-of-place enough to make you feel odd. Then, when you go down the pipe, say hello to Tap-Tap again as he follows you at a leisurely pace (for him, not you) on an auto-scrolling level! He’ll jump at you again, and there aren’t many places to knock him, since there’s no pits and no lava at first.

If you knock him off screen, you realize why he’s named Tap-Tap (aside from

the obvious explanation that the smaller enemies he’s a bigger version of are all named Tap-Taps.)

You get an audible clue as to when he’s following you, meaning that you hear his clinking metal footsteps as he gets nearer and nearer. God help you is you hear a ‘BOING!’ noise, as it means he’s jumped, and is liable to land anywhere on the screen, including on top of you, and on some occasions if the surface is sloped, he can amusingly sail straight over your head and off the screen to the other side.

But wait, there’s a bottomless pit! And you tricked him into jumping into it!

Hooray, the beast is dead, now I can finally focus on moving through this what the hell was that noise? Footsteps?

No... I, I killed you... I KILLED YOU! ‘BOING!’ And then Tap-Tap lands on top of you.

In the time between boss battle and encounter as an obstacle in Baby Bowser’s castle, Tap-Tap has gained immortality. This makes him a slightly more fearful foe, as he can get out of bottomless pits (when you’re not looking, of course) without a problem and continue to chase you until you reach the end of the auto-scrolling portion of the level. Baby Bowser was a walk in the park in comparison.

► Whatever happened to ‘It’s dangerous to go alone!’?

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3) PSYCHOTIC ENEMIES IN THE WIND WAKER Some things are so annoying, they become scary Zelda isn’t really a series that is aimed primarily at kids. Just looking at the track record of injuries dished out, mainly to Ganondorf, should let you know that violence in Zelda games is frequent and fairly drastic. With that being said, The Wind Waker was without a doubt a game criticized for its ‘kiddy’ design, a complaint that tended to look at the graphics and ignore everything else.

So if it was for kids, how come the enemies in it are the scariest I’ve seen in any Zelda games? Let’s start with the above - Miniblins. They’re not bad, except they make annoying... well, cackling (?) sounds, and attack in large groups.

Not 10 or 20, but more, much more.

They attack fast, and they may only take one hit to kill, but with hordes and hordes of them attacking you at once, they’ve managed to become feared for their irritation despite appearing in remarkably few parts of the game.

Next up, the Peahats. Wait, no, the Seahats. Peahats are average enemies with small wings that you may remember from the original ‘The Legend of Zelda’. They would fly around for large period of time, and only when they stopped was Link able to attack them.

In Wind Waker, they cause a little annoyance, but no more than any other enemy. Then, the Seahats.

and arrow, it will charge towards you through the water. It is faster than you. It knocks you out of your boat and continues charging. Worst of all, it makes a horrendous roaring sound as it gets nearer. It sounds like a very loud, very broken motor on a boat, and you hear it every time this fishy creature attacks you, which is much more frequent than the Miniblins.

This isn’t so bad considering that they’re defeated with the bow and arrow, but they can attack you long before you find it, and it’s hard to shoot at a rapidly moving target. Also, their smiles... eurgh...

Still, there is worse. The ReDeads are regarded as some of the scariest enemies in the entire Zelda series. Their screams paralyze you, and then they slowly walk towards you - only when they are next to you do they start to attack you by doing things best left unsaid. They’re hard to ward off considering how quickly they can freeze you, and they scream when they see you.

Let’s look at the terrifying ReDeads from Ocarina of Time, where they’re widely seen in the future Market Town, which almost deserves a spot on the list itself.

They’re definitely creepy, and that’s the point. They’re supposed to be reanimated bodies that attack the living, and they fulfill that role well. Their screams are lifelike, but fairly faint - they give off average moans and groans when left alone, not unlike a teenager, and when you hear the screaming the first time, it sounds more like they’re making Link imagine it from a painful memory, rather than them doing the screaming themselves. Anyway, they are still pretty freaky, but now let’s look at the ReDeads courtesy of The Wind Waker.

Right off the bat, these guys look worse. They have massive mouths, primarily for shouting and seemingly gnawing away at your skull whilst attacking. It also looks like it’s wearing ear-rings and lipstick, which is wrong on more levels than Jack Thompson on an elevator. Oh, and it’s scream? It’s SCREAM?

Giant, bizarre creatures that attack Link at sea, hence the name. To give you an idea of the scale involved, The King of Red Lions, Link’s boat, takes up roughly a fifth of the space that a Seahat does when in the sea. So if a Seahat has their wings taken off with a boomerang, but there’s no time to shoot it with the bow

They move just as slowly, but their paralysis seems to strike more quickly. Plus... the aforementioned elephant scream.

There is no doubt where the noise is coming from when it comes to these guys. There is little doubt in my mind that this iteration of ReDeads would be voted the number one scariest enemy in the Zelda series.

They hobble like mutilated stone monkeys, and take too many hits to kill quickly. Good luck getting close enough to do that by the way.

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2) OUT OF BOUNDS IN TOO MANY GAMES TO MENTION I’m walking on sunshine, whoa-oh!

Commander Keen, Earthbound, Chrono Trigger, even though these games would need cheat codes to let you walk through walls and walk outside of the game’s limitations, it’s still easy to do them, and after a while, it begins to wander out of intriguing territory and straight into creepy town.

For starters, the whole point of games is to immerse yourself in the adventure of what you’re doing. After writing this blog, I don’t intend to sit on my couch and press buttons on a controller attached to a GameCube - nay, I intend to use the dagger of time to take back the kingdom of Babylon from the evil Vizier! So if you immerse yourself in a game, and are then reminded that it’s a game by the fact that your character just walked straight through a wall and into a town he wasn’t meant to visit for 6 more hours of gameplay, that illusion is ruined.

You can also get outside of the boundaries without cheating in some games, which is usually more annoying as it’s not always intentional. There are surprisingly many ways of doing this in Resident Evil 4, and though it’s not a kid’s game, it’s still odd that after fighting off giant, parasitic beasts, mutations of villagers, and downright abominations, I still find it creepier to walk repeatedly towards nothing, watched as Leon is lost to an endless world of eternal darkness.

Aside from breaking the illusion of playing, this can also break many other illusions about the game. In Commander Keen, walking to the right or left on the world map would make Keen loop round eventually and make it to the other side, which just made me wonder what the hell he was walking through.

When he walked up or down, he died quickly. Whilst I still wanted to see whatever was happening, I found it amusing to receive the message ‘You didn’t make it past Shadowlands. Try again?’ when ‘Shadowlands’ was the map screen with zero enemies.

Using the walk through walls code

whilst in a level in Keen was both more and less productive. More productive because thanks to infinite jumping and running through screens, I found out how levels are set out in the game, with many screens linked to each other in a single level.

Less productive because if you used to code (It was called ‘No Clipping’) then you walked through EVERY wall. And by wall, I mean floor. And by walked, I mean fell. Instant death if you didn’t also have Jump Cheat.

Earthbound let you run similar investigations into how the map was laid out. If you had the Sound Stone in your inventory, you could check it and see what tunes you had collected. Nothing special. If you walked through walls, walked directly out of a city and into blank space and kept walking until the music changed, you could check the Sound Stone, and when you returned from that screen, you could now see what other part of the game you were in! If you know where to go, you can find the lair of the final boss on the same screen as Peaceful Rest Valley, an area between the second and third area in the game.

However, this also gave you more ways to crash the game. The entire game was one large map that looped, except for battle scenes. However, one of the areas you could wander into had the background music of the ‘select your character’s name!’ screen. Unsurprisingly, try-

ing to use the Sound Stone here resulted in a game freeze. You could do great things, like keep your dog with you for the whole game, or take your whole party inside Jeff’s boarding school. Or you could screw up your game.

The borders of each screen repeated if you walked through them, hence the trees above. Most screens were outlined with blackness, or occasionally a blue color. Very rarely, maps are on the same... wavelength so to speak, so they’ll appear without having to use the Sound Stone. All this means is that the final lair of Giygas, cosmic entity hell bent on destroying the world, has a mysterious link to... an otherwise generic corridor in a pyramid you travel through. Really.

Although this hasn’t sounded as creepy as previous entries, try walking at normal speed through repetitive black screens and wonder what the characters would be thinking.

And now, the number one creepiest feature in a kid’s game.

► Ashley, I’ve got a feeling we’re not in Kansas any more...

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make any progress forwards! What the hell is this?!?

And so, after flying for a few minutes and wondering whether or not someone slipped some very special mushrooms into your afternoon drink, a slot machine shows up. I’m not kidding. A slot machine shows up, and you shoot the lever, and when you match up three 7’s, the slot machine blows up, and it’s replaced by the letters ‘THE END’ which you are free to shoot and rearrange.

This all makes perfect sense. Presumably ‘THE END’ refers to your sanity.

1) FOX? FOX?!?

FOOOOOOOOOOOX?!?!?

Doesn’t sound so ‘awesome’ to me There was never any doubt in my mind that the ‘bonus’ levels of Star Fox for the SNES would take this spot. Star Fox isn’t exactly a game aimed directly at babies, but it’s about a talking fox flying a spaceship that shoots lasers. Sounds pretty appealing to kids to me.

Firstly, there’s the black hole, where Fox’s dad died, at least until Star Fox 64 came along and changed that. It has a wavy background and few enemies. It can be found, accidentally or intentionally, as Fox flies through the Asteroid Belt. Some people have claimed that there’s a ship very far away in the black hole, always very far in front of you, and apparently that’s the ship of James McCloud himself.

It might be my crap eyesight or just a tendency to be wary of anything remotely similar to a creepy pasta, but I don’t see it.

Still, you get out of the black hole and continue your mission in Venom. Hooray!

Doesn’t my SNES have a spellcheck?

Then, you shoot the letters, nothing happens, and more debris comes at you, which can destroy the letters, and Fox just continues to sail through space, towards absolutely nothing. Think of how a fan fiction of this event would go. An alternate dimension, filled with nonsensical events and bizarrely creepy planets, where your ship flies for all eternity, never actually going anywhere. Sheesh.

... Unless you got that other secret.

Isn’t that a cheery start to this bonus? Your original mission is doomed! Andross wins and your teammates will probably die without your help. Yay! But that’s nothing compared to what this dimension looks like.

The phrase ‘what is this I don’t even’ applies very much so.

The big-nosed planets are smiling!

The background is twice as wavy and half as ‘awesome’ as the black hole! Somehow, there’s still debris to shoot! You never seem to

That blue planet in particular just looks way too creepy. Something about the way it’s staring at me. It’s the smile, what’s it smiling about anyway? Is it... I don’t... I’m... Never mind.

This is Elmo 3000, quite spooked out, saying goodbye from this blog.

Thanks for Reading!

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Whitly Reviews “Genesis of Evil”, AKA Episode 23 of Digimon: Zero-Two by g1 Whitly Hey g1s! Whitly here! You’re probably wondering (all 12 of you who still remember me, that is) why I haven’t written anything in so long. Well...I’ve been trying. Unfortunately, since I like to stay as consistent as possible with whatever’s currently on my mind, I picked a bad time to become re-interested in something I used to really love as a child. Yes, thanks to my most-recent review on Summer Wars, I became so curious about public reception of the movie that I started watching the YouTube videos of a reviewer named JesuOtaku and ended up reigniting a passion for a show I stopped caring about once I’d reached middle-school. In other words, I’ve become a Digimon fan again:

Ignoring how much better this picture looks than anything the show has ever given us, I think it sums up my feelings on the franchise...that, and it makes for an interesting “what if?” scenario.

I’ve shared some unusual interests of mine with the g1 community in the 3 years I’ve been part of it, but here’s another one: I used to love Digimon as a kid. Aside from having nothing better to do since I could never make any friends, the franchise was a big cornerstone for developing the freakishly uncontrollable (and I mean that literally, for better or worse) and frequently rapid-fire imagination that still plagues me during class and major life-issues

today. And I was a die-hard fan of the show, sticking with it until a year after it was no longer cool to like it. It was never to the point of wanting to collect everything associated with it, that was a luxury my family could never afford to bless me with, but it was definitely enough to make me throw a hissy fit whenever I couldn’t catch up on the latest adventures of Tai, Davis, Takato, Takuya and their respective worlds and friends due to life, having my privileges revoked by my parents for misbehaving, or just having to put up with two brothers who much-preferred watching “intelligent shows” (I still don’t know what that means) over bullsh*t (aka a show based on a toy franchise) promot-

ing even more bullsh*t (i.e. monsters who grow and battle other monsters.)

And, of course, I still retained a soft-spot for the memories the series gave me long-after I grew out of it, regardless of whether or not they were really so fond at all.

So it’s no surprise that, with my recent interest in animation, I went back to revisit the series to see if it holds up. In some ways it has, it’s still rich in drama and intelligent themes, but each of the four seasons I watched as kid has its own strengths and weaknesses when looking at them with mature and critical eyes. However, the franchise’s array of clever ideas and failed opportunities has made it hard for me to pick one thing in particular to discuss (hence why I haven’t written anything in a while.)

Still, I’ve given it plenty of thought and decided to discuss an episode that I’ve always loved most from Season 2, aka “My least favorite season in the franchise”. I won’t get into detail about why that is-it’s too tricky to do without getting technical and boring you from all the shredding I’d do to each concept and idea it had thrown into it-but I’ll admit that Episode 23, aka “Heart of Darkness,” is still one of the few things that Season 2 (or Digimon: Zero-Two, if you wanna get technical) did 100% right. In order to do that, I’ve decided to write an opinionated and analyticalreview of the episode that’s replete with spoilers. Without further ado, here goes: The episode begins with Ken’s mother closing the door to his room and informing her husband that he’s still comatose

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public he began resenting his brother in secret and wishing for him to disappear in hopes that everything would resolve itself.

and hasn’t woken up. After some, “we’re concerned” exchanges between the parents, we move to Ken unconscious in bed and his voice beginning with an explanation of how he can’t wake up until he finds his heart. “Where did my heart go?” he asks himself. To find out, Ken goes back to his earliest, childhood memory of when he first learned how to blow bubbles. They were the biggest bubbles he’d ever seen, and they made his brother Sam proud. “Sam was the best at everything,” recalls Ken. But that was the problem. Sam was the prodigy of the family, and intelligence was revered and respected in a society like Japan. Sam’s brilliance often led to his mother receiving praise from the neighbors as she walked with Ken in the park, and-being the stereotypical housewife that she was-she let it get to her head. She constantly relayed this information to Sam at Ken’s displeasure, but every time his mother turned to him he was only mentioned in passing. Ken quickly became known as “the other kid in the family,” and since Ken was too sweet and shy to object to it in

The situation reached its boiling point when a Digivice shot through Sam’s computer one day and landed on the ground in front of the two boys. The device was fascinating and unfamiliar to the two boys, but Sam assumed ownership of it because, well...Sam had everything, so this wasn’t any different, right? Unable to examine the object at that point in time because [insert reason here], Sam placed it in his drawer and told Ken not to touch it until he came back. Being the curious cat that he was, Ken disobeyed him and was sucked into the computer (presumably in the Digital World.)

Since the Digital World existed in “Narnia Time,” Ken was able to spend what seemed like months there and return to the real world just shortly after having entered it, which didn’t please Sam at all. Furious that Ken hadn’t listened to him, he smacked the Digivice out of his hand and barked at him to get out for being a bad boy. Upset that he’d misbehaved and thinking that Sam no longer loved him, Ken again made the wish-this time with every fiber in his body-that Sam would disappear.

Unfortunately for Ken, life granted him his wish. In a tragic twist of events, Sam’s life was cut short when he was hit by an out-of-control car and fractured his skull. The accident was already devastating on its own, but since Ken witnessed it first-hand it’s possible to assume that Sam died while shoving him out of the way. Faced with the fact that his wish came true and the reality that he could never replace his parents’ love for Sam, Ken blamed himself and sunk into depression. “Sam’s never coming back,” Ken thought, “and it’s all my fault!”

Normally this’d be the end of the story, but Ken mentions

that it wasn’t over: some point after Sam’s death, “when” is never stated, Ken received a mysterious email addressed to him. He opened it up, thinking it was probably a condolence letter, and was surprised to read what was in it. Yes, the email was sending condolences for Sam’s passing, calling it tragic, but it went on to mention that his death had set him free from the shackles of responsibility that’d been placed on him because of his birthright. “He is in a better place now,” the email continued, “but you will be forced to live up to his expectations and not your own.”

The email admitted that it wouldn’t be easy, but there was a way to help free Ken if he only wanted to be.

The show would eventually reveal the person behind the email in Episode 44, but for now it was irrelevant. And while the average person would find this suspicious, Ken was so desperate to feel like he meant something that he found the email promising. “Open the drawer!” the email demanded. “Use Sam’s Digivice!” “Forgive me, Sam,” Ken whispered, as he retrieved the source of his grief and held it up to the monitor. The computer sucked him in as expected, but this time to a much different world than the one he’d been to prior. It was a bay, and a gloomy one at that, but something in the water ahead of him was inviting him to come closer.

It was only once he touched the water with his Digivice that everything became clear. The email was right: he did feel like he could tackle the responsibility that was expected of him! He could feel himself getting stronger, smarter, smarter than his oaf of a brother could’ve even fathomed! “This is my Digivice!” Ken shouted, a look of twisted

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satisfaction on his face as his Digivice changed shape and took on a much darker appearance. And thus began the saga of Ken the boy genius, Ken The Digimon Emperor.

It’s at this point that Ken’s parents come into the room to check on him, just as he’s beginning to wake up from him comatose sleep. Ken’s mother is the first to speak, mentioning to her husband that Ken began exhibiting signs of genius right around the same age that Sam had died. It felt wonderful at first, almost as if Sam had never left them, but she wonders if she might’ve pushed Ken to the point of resentment with her insistence on keeping his memory alive.

Her husband agrees, adding that they might’ve been too hard on Sam too when he was still alive. Ken isn’t ready to wake up fully though, as his question wasn’t answered to his satisfaction: “Where did my heart go?”

In an effort to figure out the answer, Ken flashes back to the bubbles he blew as a child and thinks over what Sam had told him, an additional part of the story that he’d somehow overlooked. Sam and Ken clearly loved each other, it was Sam who made the soapy water and straws for Ken to blow bubbles with, but something still troubled him. Sam had congratulated him on making bigger bubbles than him, which puzzled Ken because Sam was good at everything!

“You make good bubbles because you

blow kindly,” explained Sam. “My bubbles keep popping because I’m not so gentle.” Sam proved this by blowing a bubble that popped very quickly, which startled Ken. Unfortunately, Sam also disappeared right after, leaving Ken to realize that he was gone forever.

Ken now wakes up, but shocks his parents when he asks them who they are.

They assume it’s amnesia, but Ken’s ominous voice assures the audience the he really doesn’t know if they can offer him anything worthwhile because he’s not sure if he even knows himself. Ken parents then apologize for not appreciating what he has to offer and begin to cry, an action he mimics without fully understanding. As he gets up and wanders the house in hopes of finding out who he really is, Ken spots a picture of his late brother and stares at it in sorrow.

His mother understands the anguish, and informs him that-of all the people in the Ichijouji family-Sam’s death affected him the most. Later that night, as Ken sits down in his chair to think, he notices his Digivice and Crest of Kindness...and then it hits him. He realizes the one thing that’d mattered to him as much as Sam, and before you can say “Wormmon,” his mother enters his room and finds that he’s run off again.

The problem, Ken reasons, is that he was searching for answers in the wrong place. So he heads back to the Digital World, i.e. the source of his grief, and

winds up in-of all places-The Primary Village. Unfortunately, this doesn’t make things easier: not only does this place do little to comfort him over his recent loss of Wormmon, whom he now remembers dying because of him, but he also must deal with the constant barrage of former victims of his regime who aren’t happy to see him. They tell him that Wormmon isn’t coming back because Ken doesn’t deserve him, which causes him anguish because he desperately wants a second-chance. In an attempt to comfort himself, Ken now recalls something Wormmon once said to him when he first came to the Digi-

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tal World as a child: Sam’s Digivice was actually his, and he deserves it most because he’s always been kind enough to warrant something so special. It’s something he should never forget, but Wormmon also warned him not to let his kindness overwhelm him for fear of falling to grief forever.

With that being said, Sam’s words to him as a little kid make sense. Ken realizes that his problem was running from responsibility, and that it was his unwillingness to face his own problems, not his status in the family, that caused him to hate Sam.

It’s at this point that Ken’s crest begins to glow, leading him to a DigiEgg containing the baby form of his former companion. He apologizes to his old friend, Leafmon, once he hatches, to which he’s immediately forgiven because Leafmon had always known that Ken was too kind to stay evil forever. Having found his redemption, Ken now returns to the real world and reunites with his grieving parents. He thanks them for having been there for him all those years, to which his parents embrace him with open arms because they know that their son is back. The episode then ends with Ken’s voice thanking Sam, not because his death led him to the attention he’d always craved, but because his memory gave him strength and helped him realize what really mattered all those years.

So now you’re probably wondering why I spent almost 1800 words summarizing the entire episode. The main reason is because the writing of said episode is partly why I’d consider it a bright spot in the entire season. Unlike previous episodes, which infused story with action, and those episodes succeeding it, which used action to compensate for limited story, Episode 23 is strictly narrative. It’s slow and dialogue-heavy, most of it coming from Ken himself, but it’s a break from the usual in that it delivers an engaging experience without having a single fight at any point.

To put it bluntly, this is Digimon ZeroTwo’s introspective episode, and a clev-

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er one at that given what it discusses.

It’s neither the first nor last time that the show would have one of these-Tai and Takuya both have an introspective episode in their respective seasons-but this is easily the best of them: it’s slow, it uses every frame effectively, not a single moment feels rushed or slapped-on and it creates a natural build-up without having to break for a fight with another Digimon. Since no other episode, especially an introspective one, has been able to pull that off (at least, to my knowledge,) “Genesis of Evil” wins my vote for best-written episode in the entire franchise.

In addition, “Genesis of Evil” is replete with clever themes that hadn’t been dealt with before in the franchise-at least, not to the same extent. I think the most obvious of all of them is soulsearching. Ken’s initial reason for not waking up in the beginning of the episode isn’t because he can’t forgive himself, something that would’ve made sense considering the atrocities he’d previously committed, but that he can’t find his heart. The face-value meaning of that would imply that he’s lost his sense of humanity (the heart is often associated with human emotion,) but it’s also a reference to finding himself if you dig deeper. To Ken, being awake means being someone, but he can’t be “awake” because he’s lost his sense of someone. In that way, his sleep can be read as that sense of re-discovery, as he

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uses his childhood to find out where his heart has gone in a similar way to how someone would search inside him/herself as a means of self-reflection.

Unfortunately for Ken, introspection only makes things worse. Maybe it helps him clear his mind, but it also highlights the problem: Ken had already lost himself long before his brother’s death. For Ken, there never was a self, only an extension of another self (i.e. Sam) that he resented. And when it disappeared forever, so did his own sense of self. It’s for this reason that Ken “doesn’t know” who his parents are when he wakes up, and it’s only through his re-acquaintance with Leafmon-who’s a closer self to Ken than Sam due to the link that Digimon have with humans-that he’s able to find his heart and stop his search once-and-for-all.

But I think a more microcosmic example of this theme surfaces during the initial exchange that Ken has with his par-

ents when he wakes up. He starts out by asking his parents who they are, a sure sign that he’s missing something.

His logic is that he’s not ready to accept the love they have to offer him, but his parents take it as a sign that he harbors resentment for having not treated him with the respect he deserved. All the while, Ken stares blankly at them, with the mentions of Sam’s death being the only thing he takes out of it. But then his parents-both of them-start crying, which confuses him because he feels that they shouldn’t feel anything for a child they don’t recognize.

This confusion is only increased when he finds himself crying too: is it possible that relationships are about more than self-worth? And if they aren’t, why does he care about people he feels can’t contribute anything of use to him? This exchange, while subtle, is very powerful, as it highlights the conflict that Ken’s experiencing throughout the episode.

Another theme in this episode that’s of equal relevance is the correlation between resentment and isolation. While we often think of them as being distinct, here they’re directly linked as part of a cyclical relationship, where one both results from and directly causes the other.

Ken’s envy of Sam’s genius and attention causes him to feel isolated, which, in turn, causes Ken to resent Sam and wish for him to disappear. When Sam dies, Ken feels a bigger sense of isolation because he resents ever wishing that he’d disappear. Ken’s feeling of isolation also causes him to reject his parents once he wakes from his coma, something his parents link with resentment for not being treated with the same respect they gave Sam (if they even respected Sam to begin with, that is.) Lastly, Ken’s isolation is further exacerbated in the Primary Village due to its inhabitants resenting his past actions as The Digimon Emperor. Just like soul searching, this is a concept that surfaces frequently in “Genesis of Evil”.

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Perhaps the most-obvious theme is that of death and rebirth, which is what this episode’s really about. There’s the literal death and rebirth-i.e. Sam and Wormmon’s deaths, Leafmon’s birth in the Primary Village-but there’s also the metaphorical death and rebirth. For the former, Ken has “died” twice: once when Sam got hit by the car (emotional death,) and once when his empire collapsed (his humanity.) The two of them together have turned Ken into a “nonhuman,” a living corpse doomed to walk the world without a sense of purpose. It’s only fitting that Ken should, therefore, end up in the Primary Village, which is the essence of life for the Digital World. While most villains meet a physical end at the same time as they meet a metaphysical end, i.e. dying when they’re defeated, Ken, who was once a villain himself, is given a chance for redemption when his partner is reborn and comes back to the life he used to have. I know people consider the whole “Digimon don’t die, they’re just reborn” concept to be a franchise cop-out, but I actually think it’s fitting this time given the symbolic significance.

But perhaps the greatest accomplishment thematically of “Genesis of Evil” is that it’s also a poignant commentary on the Japanese value system. Given the conversations and dialogue of the episode, it’s pretty clear that Ken’s real problem is that he wasn’t being valued as an individual because he “wasn’t the brains of the family” like his older brother. It’s because of this lack of feeling special that Ken even wished his brother dead in the first place. This same problem is brought to the foreground when Ken’s parents realize that they’ve been ignoring what Ken has to offer in favor of his brother, and even then they might not have really appreciated Sam because of how hard they pushed him to succeed while he was alive. From here, “Genesis of Evil” asks the following: is it worth ignoring your children just because they aren’t prodigies? The answer, judging by the events that take place, is no, which is important to understand in a society like Japan that values intellect above all-else.

Another thing this episode really has going for it, aside from the rich themes, is its clever use of animation to convey meaning. One of the best things about

the Digimon franchise was its effective integration of drama to help compensate for its poorly drawn action scenes.

Since Digimon has always been a series that, especially during its earlier seasons, was made on a laughably modest budget, it’s surprising just how effective its emotional core was without the use of advanced shading. It’s for that reason that “Genesis of Evil” has yet another tick in its favor; sure, it still looks just as bad as every episode before or after it, but the animators compensate by using clever tricks that take minimal effort to pull-off: When Ken’s mother is showered with praise of Sam, the backdrop is completely black. Multiple copies of the same, spectacled woman are drawn freakish, elongated and with their hands over

their mouths in a flattering pose. Each one is a different color, and each image overlaps the previous ones as praise is showered left and right. Despite looking cheap and generic, it’s clever because we’re seeing this through Ken’s eyes.

Since Ken was so young at the time, we can assume that it was a perspective issue. There’s clearly more to it than that, but little Ken was so distraught by the praise that, to him, it might as well have been the same, creepy woman showering all that praise!

In the first-half of the episode, there are three moments where Ken monologues about Sam with true sincerity: two of them are about his frustration with Sam’s constant attention, and the third about the grief of his passing. In all three, his parents are drawn in a

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still-frame on the couch and are pulled away from Ken into a black backdrop.

In the first two, Sam’s sitting with them and they’re happy. In the last one, Sam’s absent and his parents are grieving. This is normally done with sophisticated mood lighting, but here it’s just the same image being pulled into the backdrop slowly. Regardless, it conveys Ken’s feelings perfectly: he’s resentful when Sam’s alive, and he’s guilty when Sam’s gone. The contrast is also demonstrated with Sam’s head looming over Ken when he wishes him gone and Sam’s portrait staring at Ken during the funeral.

Another instance of effective compromise is when Ken reads the email. The backdrop of Ken’s daily life is drawn in grayscale, Ken being the only thing in color. And all the while, the words from the email are in big, black letters and scroll up in the background. The backdrop technique is reused when Ken visits the Dark Ocean, except everything, sans his black Digivice, is drawn in grayscale now. This is clever because, again, it portrays symbolism without advanced shading: Ken thinks this is promising at the time, but he and the audience see the deception in hindsight.

The last point of interest is in the Primary Village, which is where Ken’s redemption takes place. In contrast to Ken’s past, everything here is bright and colorful. The color represents optimism and hope for the future, but Ken still has to face a horde of disgruntled Digi-babies.

Like an angry chorus in a Greek tragedy, the scene switches back-and-forth between two Digimon scolding him from their cribs. It’s strange to see such

mature babies (Digimon are usually mute until they reach their In-Training stage,) but it gets Ken thinking about the consequences of his actions and the difficulties associated with redemption.

Once again, it’s all done without shading or lighting.

Not to mention that this used to creep me out when I was younger...

The last point of interest is the episode’s use of sound and music (or lack thereof) to create the proper amount of ambience for such a dark and slow episode.

In the original version of this episode, music is almost non-existent outside of those obnoxious, commercial interludes that appear every-so-often, creating a quiet atmosphere that compliments the drama without overshadowing it. The only music that is used is quiet, simple and calming, mostly jukebox or lullaby-like in execution. The tunes are only played during moments of major tension or

emotion, and they’re very childish to help compliment the innocence behind Ken’s anguish. The voice acting in Japanese is also fitting and the sound effects aren’t overdone, although I’ll admit that the latter can be cartoony at times during those really weird intermissions.

My only real complaint here is that there’s no crashing noise when the car hits Sam; considering that Sam’s death was accidental, that would’ve helped add to the tension. It’s not a huge deal, especially since the outcome is more relevant than the cause, but I didn’t know how he died until I watched JesuOtaku’s retrospective (I always thought it was a heart attack.)

Sadly, the English dub doesn’t do this episode justice. This is unfortunate because, in all honesty, I usually prefer dubs due to the major translation and syntax issues that subtitles are notorious for. I also have an immense fondness for Saban’s dub-work, especially since they’ve had a reputation for respectable dubbing long before good dubbing was a standard practice. Sadly, the first two seasons of Digimon weren’t without their hiccups and problems, and “Genesis of Evil” is no exception. And while these hiccups and problems were usually not too serious, Episode 23 is a rare occasion where they’re detrimental and drag the experience down significantly.

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“It’s too late for you now. You can’t turn back time. What’s done is done. You’ve made your bed, now lie in it! I’d go on, but I can’t think of any more clichés!”

No words could ever do justice to how stupid this is. I like your jokes when they’re appropriate Saban, but can you at least try to be serious when the situation calls for it? Not everything in life needs to be made fun-of, you know!

For one thing, the vocal work is lacking.

The dubbing for Digimon: Zero-Two was always goofy, especially in the early episodes when the VA’s were still getting used to their characters, but it was rarely an issue because the focus was usually action mixed with drama. However, Episode 23 is strictly drama, which means that the voice work has to be timely and emotionally spot-on. It may not have been the original intention, but most of the dialogue in the English version is either rushed or delivered with a great deal of apathy. Most embarrassing of all is Derek Stephen Prince, aka the voice of Ken himself; for a man whose immense-talent and range has graced so many characters in the franchise, it’s insulting that he reads his lines almost like he doesn’t know what he’s trying to convey. It’s a shame because some the dialogue that was added to the episode, such as the opening line with Ken’s mom and Wormmon’s whimpering when Ken flashes back to his days as The Digimon Emperor, is very clever and would’ve strengthened the drama if anyone cared to read their lines properly.

Moving on from there, the music in the English track is also problematic.

For reasons that I fail to understand, the first two seasons of Digimon had soundtracks that were noisy, incoherent, unpolished and never stopped playing for a second. Though it rarely got in the way of the show’s enjoyment level, due

to how loud and action-packed most of the episodes were anyway, Episode 23 is an exception: for “Genesis of Evil” to be effective, the music has to be subtle and infrequent enough that it doesn’t overshadow or downplay the drama. Saban’s dub of this episode, on the other hand, is filled with loud noise that never shuts up for an instant to allow the emotional core to resonate with viewers. And while some inclusions-such as the muffled whispers that can be heard when Ken enters the Dark Ocean-are brilliant, it’s still problematic.

The last issue with this episode’s dub is its added puns. Like the goofy voice work and incoherent soundtrack, the first two seasons were notorious for their jokeheavy translations. In almost every episode, the writing team at Saban added one-liners and puns simply because they could. Again, it usually wasn’t such a big deal, especially since most of them were hilarious due to how cleverly or awkwardly-timed they were. Unfortunately, these jokes also managed to make their way into Episode 23, aka the one time they’re not appropriate at all.

The worst part is when Ken is taunted by the baby Digimon at Primary Village: initially intended as a microcosm of Ken’s demons coming back to haunt him, it instead transforms into generic mud-slinging that even gives us this little gem:

It’s a real shame that this episode is poorly executed in the English dub, especially since it’s the only episode in Season 2 that puts its drama at the forefront instead of being wedged in alongside the constant amounts of shameless action. It’s not like the emotional core is destroyed completely-the animation alone is very telling-but the real heart of the episode is gone if the people working on the translation don’t take it seriously enough. Therefore, and it’s painful for me to say this, this is the only episode in the entire franchise that I’d recommend watching in Japanese.

The wording is a little awkward if you don’t speak the language, but as long as the subtitles aren’t the literal, fantranslated ones (which, I might add, are no better than the dub) then you shouldn’t have too much trouble.

All said, “Genesis of Evil” is a real-gem of an episode. In a 50-episode season plagued with wasted ideas, disjointedstorytelling, fractured pacing and unbalanced character-arcs, it’s nice to see something that stands proud as a compelling and thought-provoking drama about rejection, regret and rebirth. Is it cheaply made? No doubt, but it uses what it has to great effect and can easily be made into a short play with a few tweaks. No to mention that, unlike the season’s other episodes, it’s hard to criticize this one without nitpicking (aside from those bizarre intermissions.) To sum up, I give “Genesis of Evil”...

Just...don’t watch it in English. **************** And that about does it for me. Hope I didn’t bore you, and until next time, this is Whitly saying, “Read, comment and goodnight!”

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Joeshadowman’s Top Six Swords of Gaming by g1 Joeshadowman

Swords are cool, there is no denying that. You can always claim that a gun is a more reliable weapon because of the distance a bullet can travail, but you know that in Video games that’s bulls#!%. That’s right; swords are not only a cooler weapon they also always seem to do more damage. Besides who looks cooler? A guy with a gun or the guy with a sword? Give a point to the swords. Before we get started I do want to lay down some ground rules. First is that it doesn’t matter how good a game is, it only matters how awesome the sword is. Second, one sword per-franchise. Believe me I could make this whole list based on just one game. So this rule is important. Finally, if you sword doesn’t make the list let me know. I generally want to know what you guys think really is the best sword in gaming. Okay without further ado I give you, “Joeshadowman’s Top Six Swords of Gaming.”

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#6) PLASMA SWORD - HALO SERIES You know I am getting things off on the right foot when I talk about this one hit wonder.

This weapon was teased to us by Bungie all the way back in the first Halo by two cloaked enemies. Ever since then we all wanted that sword more than anything else. I can even remember a rumor stating that you could take those swords by some crazy method.

While it didn’t work our dreams finally came true thanks to Halo 2. God that day was awesome. The first time you were able to use that sword you where the happiest kid in your school, along with every other kid in your class. Admit it you know the real reason for why you wanted to play Halo 2 only because of the sword. Oh Plasma sword thing, please enlighten us with your light like lightness. The only reason for why this Sword is so low on the list is because of that whole Halo teasing us thing. Stupid teasers.

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#5) REBELLION - DEVIL MAY CRY Not going to lie, the only reason for reason for why this sword is on the list is because its owner Dante is awesome. But hey this weapon is awesome on its own as well. First thing you need to know is that it can shoot electricity, I think. No it only use electricity to fight with? That’s still awesome on its own.

Besides it’s a really cool looking sword and fits Dante’s personality perfectly. How can you beat that? Oh yeah with this.

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#4) TWIN BLADES DRAGON CLAW AND TIGER FANG - NINJA GAIDEN SIGMA I know that this technically braking one of my laws but I have two good reasons for why both of them need to be on the list. One, because if you don’t have one the other is useless. Second, because, “I AM THE LAAAAWWW.” So I can bend the rules all I want. Now to the swords. Think about everything you loved about the Ninja Gaiden on the Xbox and multiply it by two. You would get these swords.

Simply put the only reason for why you, or anyone you know, bought Ninja Gaiden Sigma for the PS3 was because of these swords. That and the game is just awesome. I can’t tell you how much easier the game got just by using these two deadly weapons. Yes I just admitted that I liked how easy those weapons made the game. I don’t mind a challenge, its just that I can stand dyeing over and over again trying to run from a bolder and you die because the camera is pointing towered the damn thing. Oh and you die because Ryu doesn‘t want to roll away for those guys on bikes… (sometime latter) Anyway these swords are awesome. What’s the reason for why they are at number 4 and not higher? Because one can’t work without the other. Enough said.

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Now before we get to number three I just want to do something. Flame Shields are getting ready…. Flame Shields at 50%…. Flame Shields at maximum. Good, Flame Shields are up. Now we can get to Number three. #3) MASTER SWORD - LEGEND OF ZELDA SERIES. I know many of you were thinking that this would be number one and for good reason. It is the master of all swords and the all-around best weapon of the Zelda universe. Hell, it’s iconic with the series and everyone wants a real life version of it. It also has the ability to seal away Evil and can also put you into a seven year slumber. (Okay there is more to it than that.)

On top of all that, it just looks cool as all hell. Come on you know that you can’t think about Link, or Zelda for that matter, without thinking about this sword. Simply put, this is the most Iconic weapon in video game history.

It first came around during “A Link to the Past” and has stuck around since then. This truly is the master of swords. But being the master doesn’t always make it the best. Yes this sword is great and awesome and the leader of all swords, but it’s also inconsistent. In one game it can help you travel forwards and backwards into time and the next it doesn’t. In one game it’s placed in a temple to forever sleep while in the next it’s found in the middle of a forest with no explanation as to how it got there. In another game its handle is purple now suddenly it’s blue. (Okay I made that last one up.) The master sword, master of inconsistency.

SCREWATTACK MAGAZINE - DECEMBER #2) THE LIGHT SABER - STAR WARS UNIVERSE I didn’t say the games had to be good. Look we all love the Master Sword but this is just more awesome because it can cut through anything like butter. That includes the master sword. In fact, isn’t this the reason for why we all played Star Wars games? Who didn’t want to play as a Jedi or a Sith and just destroy everything in their path? Yeah you get to use those kick ass force powers, but damn it you know you wanted to use the Light Saber more than anything.

Think back to the first Star Wars game you played. Okay not those flight simulators that had you pilot an X-wing, but the ones where you got to play as Luke Skywalker. What was the one thing you were looking forward to using more than anything else? The Light Saber.

While the games that have Light Sabers might not always be great or be any good, these weapons will always be cool to use. Even if it’s usually for about five minutes. Like I said, they can cut through anything… Well almost anything.

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#1) THE MASAMUNE - CHRONO TRIGGER Yeah sure one sword is made of plasma, one is the master and another can cut through almost anything. However, This sword can cut throw mountains. None of the other swords on this list have ever done that. Sure, one of them came close, but never did it. Man I had a hard time putting this on the list as well. It was either between this or the Rainbow. The only reason it won was because of how powerful it is. Though this sword is awesome it isn’t easy to get. First you have to climb a mountain while fighting off Golems, Birds and Ninja’s. Then you have to fight these two Piccolo looking things that turn into a bigger more powerful Piccolo. Who is yellow. Then you have to get the handle from a frog in the middle of a forest. After that you have to go back to the time of the dinosaurs and get a stone just to bring it to 1000 AD and have some guy put the two pieces together. It’s all worth it though just to see it cut through a mountain. Funny thing about that is the sword isn’t even at half power when it does that. Yep there is a side quest to make it even more powerful. So you see this sword derivers to be Number one. Not only can it cut a mountain in half with less than half its power, but it can make all the other swords look weak by comparison.

There you have it, the Top Six Swords of Gaming. While most of you might not agree with me on this list, you can’t deny I gave some pretty good arguments as to why they are here. You can go to sleep now knowing that these swords exist. Just pray that no one will find them and use them against you. So until next time this is Joeshadowman saying “I’m always in the shadows.” So what are you doing with that pen?

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Calendar - December/January 2012 December 06

December 20

The Adventures of Tintin PC/Xbox 360/PS3/Wii/3DS

Battlefield 3: Karkand Expansion Pack PC/Xbox 360/PS3

Trine 2 PS3

Star Wars: The Old Republic PC

Defenders of Ardania PC/Xbox 360/PS3

January 24

January 31

Silent Hill HD Collection Xbox 360/PS3

Soul Calibur V

Victoria II: A House Divided

Final Fantasy XIII-2

PC

Confirm NEXT MONTH: Captain Morgane And The Golden Turtle NeverDead Kingdoms Of Amalur: Reckoning The Darkness 2

Xbox 360/PS3 Xbox 360/PS3

Expected to be release Resident Evil Revelations Crusader Kings 2 Combat Wings: The Great Battles Of WWII Inversion Naruto Shippuden: Ultimate Ninja Storm Generations

Not

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Video Game Releases of the months

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January 10

King Arthur II: The Role-Playing Wargame PC

Gotham City Impostors PC/Xbox 360/PS3

CRUSH3D 3DS

t Confirm/Rumor Kingdom of Amalur: Reckoning UFC Undisputed 3 SSX Twisted Metal X The Grinder Binary Domain

Release Dates from December 31, 2011.

Game’s release dates may change during the month.

Syndicate Asura’s Wrath Black Knight Sword Jagged Alliance: Back in Action Awesomenauts Mario & Sonic at the London 2012 Olympic Games

LAST PAGE This last 2 months were insane after my graduation project, college and of course December, now why was the whole delay on the magazine this time...? well unfortunately the artists Elsevilla from Deviantart dufferend from severe back pain and had to rest during this last weeks and man is understandable, health comes first and besides he had a lot of delayed commissions so we had to wait till now, well better late than noting.

I’ll be doing some more redesign to few parts of the magazine at least for separating modern to retro reviews, the format might work but I want to do something different with a more retro still behind it.

Well and this freaking last page I have to do something too, will contact a good friend of mine to see if we can work out something funny but for now I leave you with a big hug and wishing you the best for 2012!

Peace!

December 2011

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