Unseen Lerker Issue 9 by Unseen Lerker

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ISSUE 09 JUN – JUL 2011

IT’s LIKE PLAYBOY, FOR ORCS

Orc-tastic battle report! Double Army Showcase

PLUS: NEW!:

The Army Doctor

Terrain making House rules and… Romans?

A magazine for gamers, hobbyists and collectors

Unseen Lerker

EDITORIAL

CREDITS THE UNSEEN LERKER TEAM

Business Overseer: Bryan “Ubertechie” Carmichael Fancy illustrations: John “The Killer Quill” Blake Cover artist Max “Brakken” Karpsten Comic strip: Zach “The Quilter” Kin-Wilde, Graphic Design: Heath “Mrs Haberdasher” Moritz Contributors: Michael Biggs, Alan Thompson, Dan Heelan, David Jakowyszyn, Wayne Kemp, Greg Dann, Dan Comeau, Andy Isherwood, Will Goodwin, James “Bolle” Bolsover, Andrew Chesney, Sven Kaiser, Ben Johnson, Steve Wren, Swedo-Aussie Collaborations www.unseenlerker.com editor@unseenlerker.com Want to advertise in Unseen Lerker? Well now you can! A variety of options available. Email shiny@unseenlerker.com for more info.

LEGAL DISCLAIMER This magazine is completely unofficial and in no way endorsed by Games Workshop Limited. The Chaos devices, the Chaos logo, Citadel, Citadel Device, the Double-Headed/ Imperial Eagle device, ‘Eavy Metal, Forge World, Games Workshop, Games Workshop logo, Golden Demon, Great Unclean One, the Hammer of Sigmar logo, Horned Rat logo, Keeper of Secrets, Khemri, Khorne, Lord of Change, Nurgle, Skaven, the Skaven symbol devices, Slaanesh, Tomb Kings, Trio of Warriors, Twin Tailed Comet Logo, Tzeentch, Warhammer, Warhammer Online, Warhammer World logo, White Dwarf, the White Dwarf logo, and all associated marks, names, races, race insignia, characters, vehicles, locations, units, illustrations and images from the Warhammer world are either ®, TM and/or © Copyright Games Workshop Ltd 2000-2009, variably registered in the UK and other countries around the world. Used without permission. No challenge to their status intended. All Rights Reserved to their respective owners.

I’ve spoken about this elsewhere recently, but thought it worthwhile repeating here for those who missed it. I find it to be quite a challenge to produce a bi-monthly magazine that tries to keep up with the times. Originally when we were starting out we were a bit starstruck and just grabbed any cool looking content that we could get our hands on. Over time I’ve been trying to give the magazine more direction with a bit of a theme on each issue. Pandering to the latest shiny release has turned out to be somewhat of a challenge though. It’s damn hard to keep up with the times; we started producing this issue with the release of the Orcs & Goblins book but it would seem that a certain company has finally gotten their shizzle together and are actually releasing things on a regular basis again! We’re bringing you the Lerker perspective on what’s grim, grizzly and gruesome to complement any Orc-Goblin grit you might already have between your toes. Whether or not we’re making a mistake in trying to jump through the hoops of new releases – I don’t know. I’d love to get your thoughts on it via email, carrier pigeon or (if you’re posh) telegram. For now though I’m just going to whistle a jaunty tune, twirl my cane, and try to distract you with a picture of the first O&G model I’ve painted in quite some time... SPIDAH!! Isaac “Bobo” Alexander, Editor

CONTENTS

Editor: Isaac “Bobo” Alexander

Arcane Orc-itecture

The Army Doctor

Dave Jakowyszyn returns with a guide on how to make cheap and cheerful terrain pieces. MD Bigglesworth is in the house, and this month’s challenge sees him play Wood Elves against some of the UK’s top generals.

Saga of the Quartet

Event Spotlight

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An interesting look at alternative rules used in Warhammer, by Andrew Chesney. He mentions goats and tricycles in the same sentence; must be read to be believed.

Battle Report: Not Easy Bein’ Green Ben Johnson and Steve Wren lock heads in an Orcs vs Orcs pitched battle encounter. Hmm… orcward…

Our four intrepid heroes ignore the awful title of their series and press forth with their strange new game. They even paint some stuff. Bobo sticks his ugly head in to the Call of War tournament, and reports back with tales of woe and debauchery. The usual, then.

My Kingdom For A House Rule

The Test Dummies Resident dogsbodies Dan and Greg are give the new Space Hulk card game to try out. It’s like watching chimps trying to pick a lock.

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Arcane

Orc-itecture David Jakowyszyn Hello again! In my last article I introduced you to the main principles of Frugal Gaming (spending less and gaming more), and Bobo asked me to return with some more tips. After racking my brain for a few minutes I found inspiration in the new Warhammer Orc and Goblin book and decided to build some low cost terrain to go with my greenskin horde. When I first started gaming, many of the terrain making articles I read required tools and materials that I didn’t have, so I’m presenting two options in this article: one for the better equipped hobbyist and one for those just starting out with a limited selection of tools. Both use the same techniques and should hopefully provide you with great results.

As with most terrain making, you’ll be using a variety of tools. Be careful, and if you do have an accident, try not to get too much blood on your model (or if you do, at least try and work it in as part of the conversion)! To make your orc-itecture, you will need: • Polystyrene (any old bits of packaging will do) • Plywood (3-6mm thick is best) • Hot wire cutter • Gluegun • Scrollsaw or jigsaw Or, if you want to be really frugal: • Thick cardboard • An old CD • Scissors You’ll also need some brushes, paints, PVA glue and toilet tissue (“loo roll”, if you’re not posh). Once you’ve gathered everything you need, you can make a start…

Start With a Sketch I always start my terrain projects with a quick sketch of what I want the finished model to look like. This can save a lot of heartache later on; trying to remember what you planned to do as you try to do it can be tricky. Look around on the internet, in books, or even go for a walk through the countryside to get some inspiration. Jot down a few ideas and then make sure you have a good idea of how the model will fit together. I usually sketch a human sized figure next to my terrain to get an idea of the scale of the final piece (your Idol of Mork may not worry your opponent if it’s only the same height as a Snotling!).

Building the Main Shape Using the sketches you made earlier start cutting out your basic terrain shape. It helps to keep a miniature of the appropriate scale nearby during this stage so you can check that your piece is the right size. If you’re using polystyrene, use a hot wire cutter or a sharp knife to cut the terrain to shape. Stick the pieces together using a glue gun, or PVA if you don’t have one to hand. If you are making your model out of cardboard, cut it to shape and build it up in layers, sticking each layer to the next with a glue gun or PVA as before. Leave it to one side to dry fully, preferably overnight.

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Texturing This is a crucial part of terrain making: no matter how good the shape of the terrain is, the surface finish will give away what materials were used, so it needs to be completely covered. In my case, these idols were supposed to be carved out of solid rock, so it wouldn’t do to have them looking like cardboard and foam! There are a number of ways to cover your model; sand, textured paint and plaster all offer a great finish. On this occasion, we’ll use toilet tissue and PVA (about as Frugal as you can get).

Making the Base Adding a base to your terrain pieces makes them more durable during storage and transport and can really help them look good on the table. If you’re using plywood for your base, place your terrain on top and draw around it, leaving 25-40mm all the way around to allow for decoration. Cut this out (carefully! Remember what I said about the blood!) and sand off any rough edges. I use a scroll saw for cutting which allows me to make smooth curves and angled edges, but use whichever way is best for you, perhaps even finding someone else to do it. If you don’t have the wood and necessary tools to hand (or don’t trust your DIY skills) you can use an old CD. Preferably something by Nickelback. Use the CD as it is; cutting a CD is tricky and produces some very sharp points and edges, so I wouldn’t recommend it. If your piece of terrain is a little small and feels dwarfed by the base, add some details or rocks to fill up the remaining space. Don’t be tempted to use card or cardboard for the base as it will warp when painted and look tacky. Stick your terrain securely to the base using PVA or a glue gun.

Before applying any tissue, glue some thin strips of newspaper over any large gaps or ugly joins in the model, such as the open spaces at the edge of cardboard. This will prevent the gaps showing through the tissue. Toilet tissue is generally formed from two layers; tease these apart so you just have single sheets and rip them into small squares (roughly 30mm x 30mm). The basic method is to paint a thin layer of PVA over an area of the model, lay over a square of tissue and gently press it down onto the model using a damp brush. If you’re using cardboard as the basis of your model, make sure to not let it get too wet as it may warp and spoil the shape. Continue adding tissue over the surface of your model until you have it completely covered and leave the model to dry overnight. Don’t worry if some of the cracks and joins are still showing through as you’ll be adding a couple more layers of tissue. The following day, repeat the process of layering tissue and leaving to dry. Continue this process until you’ve got a covering you’re happy with and none of the joins are showing through. Finish off by giving the whole model a coat of watered down PVA to remove any traces of designs or printing marks on the tissue; it also will give a nice seal over the whole piece and make it a little sturdier. At this point you can add any additional elements, such as using thin card and pins to represent riveted metal plates.

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Texturing the base Using PVA, add sand, rock, pebbles or pieces from your bits box as you see fit to decorate the base. I normally add a couple of larger rocks, some medium sized gravel then sand (in that order) to produce a varied and natural effect.

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A quick sprinkle of static grass, or your own particular basing materials of choice, will complete the model and it’s ready to hit the table! Having a range of basing materials to hand helps to improve any model or terrain piece and it is well worth buying a few different materials to use. At this point, spraying with matt varnish will protect the terrain piece, and remove any shine from the paints that you’ve used. But be warned; if you use polystyrene for your terrain, it will react badly with the solvents in aerosols, and your almost complete terrain piece may melt before your eyes! Brush on varnishes are available. In the same vein, please don’t use super glue while building Styrofoam terrain – it will literally eat chunks out of it! These are just a couple of examples of what can be done with some basic materials and tools, but these methods can be applied to a wide range of terrain or modeling projects. Give it a go and let me know how you get on. Happy Gaming!

Painting and finishing. With the model and base complete it’s time to paint. Choose your favourite stone colours and go for it! The tissue will soak up a bit of paint so be prepared to apply multiple coats. I use browns, creams and greys for the basecoats and drybrush by adding cream or white to the base colour. Finish off the painting with dark washes in the recesses to bring out the detail and add any final touches such as blood stains, moss or general non-descript slime. Depending on the size of your model, you’ll probably be using a lot of paint. Tester pots of emulsion or small bottles of craft acrylic are much more cost effective than using your normal miniature paints and the results are just as good on large models such as these. Check out your local newsagent for squeezey tubes of cheap paint; you can usually get the colours you need (or enough to mix and make them) and works out a lot cheaper than going to a proper art shop, hardware store, or Games Workshop!

David Jakowyszyn, AKA Frugal Dave, runs the “A Year of Frugal Gaming” blog, plays wargames badly, rides a bike quite well and has a cat. Check out his excellent blog at www.yearoffrugalgaming.blogspot.com.

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Michael Biggs is...

THE ARMY DOCTOR In this brave new world of 8th Edition, it seems that life’s all about massed units of infantry benefiting from strange properties such as combat resolution and steadfast. Several detailed searches through my Wood Elf army book have failed to turn up anything remotely resembling this so I felt it was time to turn to a professional. Other than sticking all my characters in a unit of 30 archers with a Rhymer’s Harp, can you suggest a moderately competitive list (I’m not expecting miracles here) for all us Wood Elf generals, who, having been used to running away and shooting, are now looking for an alternative more compatible with 8th edition. We’ve been playing 2400 points lately using the South Coast GT rules pack. Yours hopefully, Tree Hugging Hippy

Another issue, another tough problem, another non-existent dollar. (Bobo pays us all in what he calls Lergy Lucre, but I know it’s not real money. It’s not even chocolate, just the random scribblings of an Antipodean outcast on tatty offcuts of purple paper). But forget about my fiscal woes, my foliage fondling friend; let’s get back to your problem. If the collective wisdom of the internet is to be believed, then Wood Elves have suffered more than virtually any other army has with the transition to 8th Edition, becoming whipping boys of Ogre-like stature. However, as the phrase “collective wisdom of the internet” tends towards the oxymoronic, I picked up my Wood Elf army book and tried to come up with an army that could be, if not fully, at least semicompetitive in the lightly comped environment that is present at many UK tournaments. The Wood Elf book has always been a bit of a mixed bag in previous editions, with most units and magic items being either awesome or awesomely weak, with very little in between. 8th edition has done little for the weaker units in the book and the increased likelihood of being attacked back as well as the increased difficulty in hiding your fragile troops has put a drastic crimp in the survivability of what used to be some of the best troops in the game. That said there are still several positives for the aspiring Wood Elf general to take advantage of. If you can keep them alive, Glade Guard are still devastatingly effective at short range, Dryads are still ridiculously cheap skirmishers that can do a lot of damage to lightly armed troops before they are able to strike back, Treemen now get thunderstomps to reduce the chance of them having to rely on their stubborn leadership and, erm… that’s about it I’m afraid. Still, with an army based on Glade Guard, Dryads and Treemen in mind, I drafted my first army list and picked up the Wood Elf army that Ben Curry of Bad Dice Podcast infamy was kind enough to lend me.

Army Doctor Top Tip: You can find the composition guidelines for the South Coast GT here www.heelanhammer.com/SCGT/ SouthCoastGTRulesPack011Final.pdf It’s an excellent tournament and well worth looking out for in 2012. Get your tickets quick though. It sells out super fast!

Unseen Lerker

Army List 1 ■■ ■■ ■■

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Spellweaver, Level 4, Dispel Scroll – Life Magic Treeman Ancient Noble, Battle Standard Bearer, Asyendi’s Bane, Hail of Doom Arrow. 10 Glade Guard, Musician, Standard Bearer, Banner of Eternal Flame 10 Glade Guard, Musician, Standard Bearer 10 Glade Guard, Musician, Standard Bearer 10 Glade Guard, Musician, Standard Bearer 12 Dryads 12 Dryads 10 Dryads 10 Dryads Treeman Treeman

Okay, so it’s not exactly varied or subtle, but in some matchups it would certainly be powerful. My main concern was keeping my fragile, Toughness 3 elf characters alive. I’d scoured the army book’s magic items pages and those in the main rulebook, but found protection for them to be either sadly lacking or severely expensive. As many Wood Elf lists have been successful in the past by keeping the characters cheap and spending as many points on units as possible, I decided to follow the trend and spend as few points as I thought I could get away with on them, with just a Level 4 Spellweaver carrying a Dispel Scroll for magical defence and a Battle Standard Bearer toting the near ubiquitous Hail of Doom Arrow (and a cheap magic bow to fire it from!). This parsimony on the Elvish characters allowed me to splurge on an Ancient to lead the army as well as two of his younger siblings to back it up, as well as a hefty number of Dryads and Glade Guard.

I was a little worried that if my opponent could easily deal with one Treeman, then two more would just be giving them the opportunity to rack up the victory points. However, I don’t feel the current Wood Elf list has the flexibility to create a good take-on-all-comers style list, and if you’re looking to maximise your tournament success with them, it is better to tailor your army to opponents you can beat rather than slightly increasing your chances in matchups that you’re unlikely to win regardless of army design. The plan with the list was pretty basic, but hopefully effective: pin things in place with the Treemen (with luck, aided by some Life magic buffs / regeneration) and then hit them with the Dryads, preferably in the flank or rear, to help kill them off quickly and provide another unit to run them down. The Glade Guard would be able to pick off small units like chariots or fast cavalry likely to get in the way of this plan or, if there were no such units available, help the combat troops out by knocking a rank or two off any infantry blocks before I engaged them. With the list ready to go, I rocked up at Warhammer World to play Mark Wildman, the UK’s top Beastmen General and his lovely Beastmen army (of which regular readers will have already seen lovely pictures in a recent Army Showcase article). Mark had a solid battle line consisting of a large unit of Gor and a slightly smaller unit of Bestigor. The two main line units were backed up by two of each kind of chariot, some harpies and a small unit of Ungor to keep some of his characters safe. The characters were the really scary part. Mark had a tooled up Beastlord and a Battle Standard Bearer with the Beast Banner to add punch to his combat troops, a Level 4 Great Bray with Death magic and the Treeman-worrying Purple Sun spell. These powerful beasts were backed up by two level 1 Shamans toting Shadow magic and lurking round a Herdstone for some extra magic dice.

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the shooting dropped his twenty five man (Beast? Goat?) Bestigor unit down to just the command group, his Beastlord and Great Bray. In a desperate gambit to try and get some points back, Mark charged his much depleted unit into one Treeman and tried to six dice the Purple Sun through both of them. One failed casting attempt and a couple of tree stomps later, we agreed to call the game at the end of the fifth turn with the Wood Elves only losing a Treeman and two Dryad units in return for the vast bulk of Mark’s army.

The game was a real confidence booster for the Wood Elves. Although I struggled to deploy well due to the large number of units in my army, the way skirmishers and the one inch rule now work in 8th Edition, the units that didn’t get in each other’s way managed to decimate the beastly horde, leaving only two Shamans, some Ungor and an unhappy Mark at the end of turn five. Mark’s Death magic proved to be a real problem in the early turns of the game. With no protection, I had to hide my characters at the back of the board to prevent them being sniped, and Purple Sun provided a few brown trouser moments for the Treemen. Fortunately, however, Mark was forced to turn his battle line to face my flanking trio of trees so he could continue to try and vortex them off the board. This lost me one Treeman, but allowed my characters to actually do a little in the latter half of the game. The Dryads ably dealt with the Tuskgor Chariots, although the Razorgor Chariots proved to be a bit too tough for them and had to be finished off by the Glade Guard. Speaking of the Glade Guard, they really showed how much damage they could do in the final few turns. As Mark had no real way of killing them at range, I still had all four units left after my Treemen had stomped through his Gor and my Dryads and shooting had taken out his units on the flanks. Aided by a couple of strangleroots,

Despite the resounding win for the Wood Elves against a strong player, I was still dissatisfied with parts of the army. The Spellweaver and Battle Standard Bearer did very little, mostly hiding to try and conserve points rather than anything vaguely proactive. The army also had a tendency to get in its own way which was exacerbated by my having to space the Treemen out to try and avoid losing two to one spell. This latter point, however, would certainly be less of a problem if I’d had a dozen or so games with the army rather than it being my first. In trying to come up with solutions to these problems I chatted with local Wood Elf General Tris Buckroyd. Unfortunately he didn’t have too much advice with regards to making the characters useful while keeping them alive, sadly concluding that sometimes you just have to accept that they are going to die, as protecting them is expensive and inconsistent. He did however espouse the usefulness of Treekin as another tough to kill unit to add to the overall resiliency of the army. With that in mind I came up with the following list for my next game.

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Level 4 Spellweaver, Dispel Scroll – Lore of Athel Loren Noble, Battle Standard Bearer, Asyendi’s Bane, ■ Hail of Doom Arrow 10 Glade Guard, Musician 10 Glade Guard, Musician 10 Glade Guard, Musician 10 Dryads 9 Dryads 4 Treekin 4 Treekin 4 Treekin Treeman Treeman

Wanting to test out Tris’s theory to its fullest (or TO THE MAX if you work in advertising) I took as many Treekin as I realistically could, reducing the number of total units in the army to prevent my own inexperience with deploying such a large army causing problems. I also switched to the slightly longer ranged Lore of Athel

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Loren on the Spellweaver hoping to be able to make use of the Call of the Hunt spell to perform some movement shenanigans. Charging in the magic phase is one of the most powerful things that can be done in the game – as evidenced by it being phased out by GW in all its newer publications – and although the movement is random, the fact that your opponent can’t chose to flee can create some pretty nasty pursuits and overruns. My goal was to be able to get a unit in the flank arc of an enemy without it being too dangerous for my wizard to be within eighteen inches in order to cast the spell.

I headed down to Lerker HQ to take on Bobo, the editor of this puckish publication. Bobo was preparing for the upcoming Call to War tournament at the war gaming Mecca that is Maelstrom’s Eye of the Storm venue (seriously - if you haven’t been - go. I’m a spoilt Nottingham resident living mere minutes away from Warhammer World and the Eye of the Storm is the only venue that even comes close to what Games Workshop, with all its PLC might have achieved). As Bobo’s list was prepared with this tough tournament in mind, he turned up with the following eye-watering High Elf concoction: a Book of Hoeth wielding Archmage toting Shadow magic and a Battle Standard Bearer supported three large spearmen blocks, three units of twelve archers and four Reaper Bolt Throwers. The army was rounded out by four eagles. Despite his ersatz

justification that it was a themed citizen levy army, I knew this would be an especially tough test of the army. I managed to win the roll for the first turn and, to be honest, it all went downhill from there. After using his Bolt Throwers’ superior range to pin down or kill my archers, Bobo calmly rolled irresistible force after irresistible force to first Wither away the toughness of my troops before unleashing as much firepower as he could, followed by everybody’s current tournament bugbear the six dice Mind Razor to take out the tougher targets with a flurry of ASF spear attacks, all the while carefully sacrificing his Great Eagles to give him more time to soften me up. With all the shooting he could bring to bear, I couldn’t safely move my wizard forward without risking an arrow filled future for her and whatever unit she was with.Yet again my expensive wizard lord was reduced to trying to dispel my opponent’s spells rather than cast any of her own and punish Bobo for his lack of magical defence. Although, with the Book of Hoeth around I was dispelling them in my magic phase instead of his, which is kind of a change I suppose! Likewise, the Battle Standard was never able to get into range to grant re-rolls in combat without incurring a similar fate, culminating in the embarrassing loss of a unit of Treekin to a charging archer unit tooting their horn. (Actually, it was two units of Treekin.Those archers were all sorts of badass. –Ed.) I wasn’t massively impressed with the Treekin to be honest, although this may not have been the best game in which to try them out. I think playing a gun-line with Wood Elves is never realistically going to be a fun battle for the Wood Elf player. With true line of sight in place, the army simply doesn’t have the tools at the moment to realistically get across the board with enough troops, or certainly not enough troops to be able to get past the units defending the guns (the Steam Tank looms especially large in my mind here). Still, the Treekin ate up a lot of points, and despite my deployment woes in the first game, I found myself missing the extra Dryads that those points could have bought. Having a few extra units of Dryads to screen my archers wouldn’t have made the game easy by any means, but against a softer gun-line like Bobo’s, screening my Glade Guard may have allowed me to pick off a Reaper Bolt Thrower or two and sit back shooting rather than having to make a desperate bid to get into probably unfavourable combats. As an aside, Bobo managed sixth place at Call to War, so my thoughts on the army being pretty tough were well founded! Army Doctor Top Tip: When planning an army for a tournament, make sure you read the rulespack! In this case all the games at the South Coast GT were to be pitched battles, so dropping the standards on the Glade Guard was an easy place to find some extra points.

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After this chastening experience, I devised the following army for what was sadly to be my final game with the Wood Elves.

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Treeman Ancient, Annoyance of Netlings, A Cluster of Radiants Spellsinger, Level 2, Dispel Scroll Noble, Battle Standard Bearer, Great Eagle, ■ Shield of Ptolos, Dawnstone Noble, Alter Kindred, Great Weapon, Briarsheath, Hail of Doom Arrow 10 Glade Guard, Musician 10 Glade Guard, Musician 10 Glade Guard, Musician 10 Glade Guard, Musician 10 Dryads 10 Dryads 9 Dryads 9 Dryads Treeman Treeman

I moved back to the three tree setup with this list, which is remarkably similar to my first one, the major change being in the characters. After getting fed up with my Level 4 wizard rarely casting any spells, I decided to try out using just a hero level wizard. I was a bit unsure about this as the mantra that you must have a Level 4 to be competitive in 8th edition, while relatively untested, has certainly stuck

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with me, so I was interested to see if the lack of an extra +2 to dispel would make a significant difference. Dropping the wizard down to a lower level freed up some points in my Lord allowance, which meant I could tool up the Ancient a little. I gave him a Cluster of Radiants to help with managing my opponent’s magic and an Annoyance of Netlings to stop characters with flaming attacks being such a threat. I also took the opportunity to experiment with a more mobile BSB – a 1+ re-rollable save against shooting would hopefully keep him reasonably safe and allow me to actually get him within twelve inches of some close combats. I headed up the motorway to Mansfield to play the army’s owner Ben Curry, former top dog in the rankings and a man who genuinely has played more games of Warhammer than he has had hot dinners. Ben was, like Bobo, practicing for Call to War and was using his beloved Dark Elves. Ben had a Level 4 Supreme Sorceress with Shadow magic (again with the bl**dy initiative tests!), a Level 2 Sorceress with Fire magic, a Hag with a Cauldron of Blood acting as the Battle Standard and a Pegasus hero with a high armour save and the Pendent of Kaeleth. The characters were supported by 30 frenzied Corsairs, a smattering of Warriors with spears, 20 Black Guard, some Shades and a Hydra. All in all a pretty typical Dark Elf army – certainly on the top tables at UK tournaments at least. I split my Glade Guard evenly on each flank, screening them with Dryads as Ben was likely to win the first turn. The Treemen deployed near each other left of centre aiming to provide a left hook while I hoped the Glade Guard, Alter Noble and some Dryads could hold up the right flank. My wizard assumed her now familiar role of hiding, with a view to coming out later in the game if the coast was clear. Ben bunkered up his wizards in a unit of spearmen aiming to use his magic to allow his combat troops to quickly kill my

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Treemen. He placed his Shades on my weak flank to try and stop me coming round to encircle his smaller, character heavy army. This game ended up as a real bloodbath, as two armies that don’t really like being shot at got well and truly stuck into each other. Near the centre Ben’s Black Guard, ably assisted by the Banner of Eternal Flame, a Hydra and his breath weapon felled a Treeman in one round of combat, only to be left stranded and reduced to just the command group by the Glade Guard’s short ranged revenge. Dryads pounced to finish them off. On the flank Ben’s Corsairs got stuck in combat with the other Treeman, their steadfastness causing the fight to descend into a mass brawl with Dryads and the Ancient joining in on the Wood Elf side and the now free Hydra doing the same for the Dark Elves. Eventually the Asrai broke their dark kin, running down the few remaining Corsairs while the Hydra unfortunately got away, rallying on the other flank of the battlefield and causing me real problems at the end of the game. It was here I got a little cocky, with both of Ben’s main line units destroyed I tried to go for a killer blow by aggressively moving towards his mage bunker. With my Dispel Scroll already used to give my forces enough time to kill the Corsairs, a final turn of “Mindrazor for the win” with Flaming Sword back up killed my Ancient which, alongside some Dryads embarrassing themselves against extra hand weapon toting Shades turned a small win for me into a small loss of just over two hundred victory points. Of course, Ben could have just cast Pit of Shades if I’d been less aggressive. But, as I’ve found out over these games, it’s a difficult spell to use. It’s got quite a low casting value, so Ben could have just used a few dice to cast it, but that would make it easy to dispel for me. Or Ben could have thrown six dice at it, making it very likely he’d get it off but, with the scatter taken into account, he’d only have about a 50:50 chance of killing a Treeman with it, using most of his dice and risking a miscast for a spell that would achieve nothing half the time.

I was more pleased with this army than I was with the previous ones. However, I still feel it has problems and I’d like to return to the Wood Elves should the chance arise. The Battle Standard, despite being very resilient to normal shooting, was still horribly vulnerable to spells and war machines. The Alter Noble was a bit more impressive, although less so with Lifetaker on the battlefield, and giving him a great weapon, while pretty much a default in 7th Edition was a mistake in this one. If he’d had the chance to use his high initiative, he could have perhaps aided the Dryads in fighting the Shades rather than having to leave them on their own. In fact the character choice I was most pleased with was the Spellsinger. With the extra dispel dice from the Treeman Ancient, I hardly noticed the loss of the extra +2 to dispel a Spellweaver would have provided. My magic phases were pretty much the same with both wizards. I mostly cast Treesinging in my phase and dispelled what I thought was the most important spell to stop in my opponents’. In fact, with it being so difficult to keep the Battle Standard both alive and within twelve inches of combats perhaps going against one of the other 8th Edition commandments and dropping him from the army altogether would be a good idea. After my positive reaction to not taking a Level 4 and my abysmal rolls with the Hail of Doom arrow it is something I’m much happier considering now than I would have been a few games ago.

So what did I learn from playing with the Wood Elves? Well, for one, don’t believe all you read on the internet. They may not want to play against Dwarves or Empire, but the right build can certainly go toe to toe with one of the most powerful armies on the tournament scene at the moment (if I’d had as many games with the Wood Elves as Ben had with the Dark Elves I’m confident the game would actually have been slightly in my favour). A Level 4 shouldn’t always be the first thing in your army list (even if most of the time it probably should). Thunderstomping your way through ranks of infantry is a lot of fun! (Mindrazor excepted.) I hope this provides you – my shrub bothering patient – with some useful ideas (and everybody else too). As I’ve said, I’d like to return to the Wood Elves, as I still found them to be a lot of fun, and will certainly take another look at them should the chance arise.

Army Doctor Top Tip: You’re allowed to pre-measure, so make sure you do! Nothing’s more disheartening than getting two of your Treemen/Hydras/Steam Tanks hit by the same template just because you’ve been lazy with your movement. This applies to other things too. If you don’t need to be within an enemy’s lucky double six charge then make sure you’re not – there’s no point complaining about your opponent’s luck when you were the one who gave him the chance to get lucky in the first place!

Do you have a Warhammer ailment that needs curing? The Army Doctor is here to help. Write to him today for your free consultation – you could even become famous. Please include what composition (if any!) you usually use and the latest version of your army list (if you have one)

armydoctor@unseenlerker.com

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Saga of the Quartet Part Two For those who missed Part One of this new series, we’re following four wargaming friends as they venture forth into the world of Privateer Press and Warmachine in an effort to explore what the alternative game has to offer plebs like us. Since last time, the guys have gotten in a few more games and chat briefly about them in their columns below. Other highlights include Wayne giving birth (well, not him personally!), Dan getting all pussyfooted and changing his faction, running off to start a Hordes faction instead and Alan losing himself in the background fluff when he should be painting. Also noteworthy is the complete disappearance of Bryan from the series. We believe he may have been abducted by aliens, eaten by a giant venus fly trap or carried away amidst a lightning buffalo stampede – seriously, it’s a mystery. If anyone has seen him we’d appreciate you providing his coordinates on the back of a postcard. Stepping in to fill the void for the remainder of the series is Mr Andy Isherwood.You may remember Andy from way back when he featured in the Issue 1 battle report; we figured he was the perfect candidate as he knows absolutely nothing about Warmachine, just like the rest of our little lab rats! This issue also sees the guys produce their first painted models. Finally, Dan and Alan play a game as their Skorne and Cygnar forces clash in the Incursion scenario: capture the flags, but with disappearing flags! Anyway, enough spotlight stealing from me. Let’s give the peasants their page space. Sorry, did I say peasants? Ahem.

Xerxis, Dan’s Skorne Warcaster Motto: “It’s clobbering time!”

Dan Heelan – Khador Skorne So… it’s been a couple months, and since the first article I have played quite a few games. After my initial play around with the Khador I decided to get more involved with Privateer Press’s rules and look at the sister (or brother) game “Hordes”. Hordes deals with the wild areas of the world that Warmachine is based in, and if anything is more like Warhammer from a fluff perspective. By this I mean it’s more monsters and magic than steam-powered robots. What may seem odd to an outsider is that the two games are 100% compatible, therefore you can play a Hordes faction against a Warmachine faction and the game still “works” (not quite what would happen if you played your Skinks against Space Marines, say...). The points system is indented to keep game balance and the mechanics are almost identical, save for the way the casters and beasts work. In Warmachine the Caster gives out his “Focus” to his Warjacks and uses it to cast spells, where in Hordes the Caster draws “Fury” from his beasts as they perform actions. I really like the contrast between the two versions of this core mechanic; really helps you realise that you’re pitting two different worlds against one another!

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I had a good read over the Hordes rulebook and after some deliberation (and grovelling, let’s not forget the grovelling... –Ed.) decided change my faction – the fantasy setting appealed to me much more. Those who know me will no doubt be reading this and thinking sarcastically “yeah right, Dan changed his mind based on fluff…..” and to be honest they would have a point. It wasn’t totally fluff based; I like the Fury mechanic and feel it has some great advantages over Focus. Whether this is just a perception from a new player I don’t know but I will be looking forward to finding out. Here’s a statement I find valid: “Focus is more resource management and Fury more risk management”. I believe this to be true from my limited experience. The faction I chose was Skorne. Fans of Warhammer may see a similarity in the name of this race with a popular chaos god. The similarity doesn’t end there as the predominant colour for this warlike race is red! I chose this race based on the cool elephantine monsters (Titans)

and the look of the models. Also, it seemed as though the faction only had one real play style which was “get up in your opponent’s grill and rip their face off ” which I think is probably the best way to learn any system, as it highlights your mistakes quickly; the aggressive tactics leaving you open to having your caster assassinated. I started off by purchasing a few casters, some beasts and a few infantry and played a few games. The first model I painted was Xerxis, a Skorne general who likes to get his hands dirty in the game. I chose a white/red colour scheme, something I had never painted and fancied doing. Alan and I had a game using the force, covered later in the article. I also managed several other games against regular opponents, but the editor is already hitting me with his stick and telling me my word count is up, so I will have to talk about those in the next instalment!

Wayne Kemp – Cryx Since the last article I have been a busy boy, not just in the hobby world but also in real life. With the arrival of my second child this month (Lucy) it has been a hectic time but I have still managed to get some hobby/gaming done! The Cryx models have been a pleasure to paint and surprisingly quick to get finished to a tabletop standard. With the use of Army Painter Quick Shade (or “Dip”, if you’re down with the street-lingo) and Citadel washes the models have come together well. The amount of detail on the models means that when painted with the “Dip” and/ or washes the details become defined very easily. This, combined with the low model count, means it’s very easy to get a battle-ready army completed. While expanding my collection through the purchase of some of the infantry models (Bane Thralls and Knights) I have been impressed at the level of detail on the models. That said, when comparing these metals to the Games Workshop plastic (of similar detail level in my opinion) I find the plastic far easier to work with as a whole. The Privateer Press metal models come in many pieces and I have found most of those parts have very small contact points to glue to the body. This, and the fact many of the joints are not as easy fitting as one would hope, means that it takes quite a bit of time and skill to put the models together if you want to them to survive the rigors of gaming. I have had to “pin” all of my models where possible. For those who have not heard the term, this is drilling holes in any given two parts and inserting a small (generally paper clip width) metal rod between the two when gluing to help strengthen the join.

Proper assembly of models is a stage people can often think unnecessary, but it happened that during the time we were writing the article Dan literally “road tested” the pinning of his models. Dan transports his new Skorne in a box with a metal sheet in the bottom; all the models have several magnets in the base to secure them during transport. During a drive up north to play Warmachine with some friends Dan had to slam the brakes to avoid a car pulling in front of him. He hit the brakes so hard that the models in the box slammed forward off their magnets, smashing into each other like action figurines – the only breakages however were on the one model not pinned! So time well spent there! In summary then, the detail and style of the models have impressed me, but the time and skill required to put the models together is more than I imagined, although this is offset by the relatively few models required for the game. Swings and roundabouts as us English-types like to say. My next quandary is where to expand next. Through chats with my fellow gamers and having played a few games it appears the Cryx infantry is very strong, although my love for bigger, centerpiece models is stopping me from buying more. I will let you know next article how I get on with the question!

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Alan Thompson – Cygnar I said in the last instalment I was in the process of painstakingly painting up my battle force and true to my word I did make a start! Painting has never been my forte; I have always been more into the gaming and story side of the game than the actual hobby, but of late have decided to try my hand at painting. With some guidance from the others I have managed to paint up some of the battle force and one of the models is pictured here. I still haven’t decided on the basing for the force yet however – too many options! I have played a game against Dan in the meantime, featured later in the article. In order to continue to learn the game and avoid spending lots of money and time in building new models I may not need I have been “proxying” the models for the larger games. For those not familiar with the term this is me using some Napoleonic era models as infantrymen for my force! Although this is frowned upon by some gamers, in our circle of players it is an accepted practice in the early days of a new army or game. That said, our circle of gamers still expects each other to get a proper force/army as time goes on – we all want our games to look good!

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pre formed story line, something we’re really not used to coming from a Warhammer background, where we normally use self created characters who carve their own legends (you know, Sir Duke of Nukem etc…). This, combined with my point from last issue about the background really only “skimming the surface”, has made it difficult for me to really get gripped and lose myself in the system. That said, Privateer Press do one very interesting thing that we do not see much of in Warhammer – progression of the story line of the world through expansions. We have seen it to a degree in Warhammer, with the various campaigns they run once a decade or new fluff they introduce out of the blue, but in Warmachine and Hordes with every army book or expansion there is an ever-evolving story and some characters go “Epic” as their storyline progresses. Now that, to me at least, is just plain cool. I am looking forward to picking up some Epic characters myself: eCaine (you’re not Epic until you have an “e” in front of your name, apparently) in particular looks well suited to my idea of how I want my force to work (shoot lots!) so I will be looking to play some games with him before the next instalment. Hopefully I’ll have some tasty (epic!) Cygnar victories to report back on soon. Alan’s first Warjack; too scared to commit to a basing scheme, he leaves that for later...

I have continued to read the “fluff ” throughout the Warmachine rulebook (there is a lot!), expanding into the story surrounding the Hordes element (with a lend of Dan’s Hordes rulebook). The story is expanded by tales from the various factions outside of Western Immoran. There are the Skorne, a warlike race bent on world domination that have a vampire style to some of their society; the nomadic Trollbloods as ancient as the world itself; the Legion, an elf like race blighted by a dark dragon; and the Circle Orboros (basically Wood Elves, although don’t tell PP I said that!). All of these have great appeal. One thing I have found strange to get used to is the fact that you are effectively using a “special character” (as we would say in Warhammer) in every game, as your general. It’s a very specialised individual with a

Andy Isherwood – Menoth Having locked the cage on what is now a very contented looking Venus fly trap and arranged my alibi I was more than happy to attempt to stretch Brian’s shoes out a little when asked to take part in some Warmachine based shenanigans. As previously mentioned I have no idea about the ins and outs of

Warmachine, other than once having been bemused by the rulebook. Putting that to one side though and maintaining a child like sense of optimism and wonder I decided to look at this project through purely hobby tinted specs and see where I got to from there. Having been told that I was to put together a Menoth force I did what any discerning gamer does, leafed my way through to the colour sections of the rulebook, locked the door and then logged online and started to check out the war-porn (I feel that I should mention here though that this is just a fairly pleasing term

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with which to describe the excitement of shiny new toys and not an omission towards a fascination with scantily and camo clad amputees…moving on.)

INCURSION!

So anyway…The starter set comes with a decent variety of bits and as I am a month behind I immediately decided that I would add two Devout Light Warjacks (as they looked quite pretty.) Although this is only a small addition I am hoping that it will mean that I can start to catch up a little to the others and their ever growing Warmachine (or in Wayne’s case, Hordes) forces.

As scribed by Dan.

From a painting point of view I am approaching this in a similar fashion to Wayne. By dipping (see, I is down with the war gaming street lingo as well, Dan) the force over a solid and cohesive colour scheme I will have something which looks more than serviceable and can then be further highlighted over the top to create something a lot more special. This method is one which I favour as it quickly enables absolutely anyone (no matter their painting skills or mindset) to build a table top force while allowing those with the inclination to go back and tweak their models until they look even sexier… Be warned though, starting any conversation with the line “have you seen my giant sexy robot” may well get you an odd glance, and that’s from fellow gamers. Try it on a first date and good luck on closing that deal at the end of the night… A frequently overlooked area with models is that of the base. Having spent a while painting a model it seems a little daft to simply slap some flock on it and send it out to war. With that in mind I have literally started all of the models from the ground up. Using Miliput to boost each model and a variety of components from various bits boxes I am aiming to add even more character to the force and therefore further personalise them. When starting a project I find that this is important as it should (fingers crossed) allow me to keep up my momentum and enthusiasm. By adding in a little conversion work as well it will also mean that I should be able to put my stamp onto this gaggle of religious nutters.

Andy takes the opposite approach, spending more time on the base than he did painting. Some people, eh?

Dan’s Skorne vs Alan’s Cygnar The rulebooks offer several scenarios to spice play up. We had been starting by playing the most basic looking scenario, what we saw as the Warmachine equivalent of “Battle Line”. This was called “Kill Box” where you basically just have to make sure you caster stays in and around a box in the centre of the board, which stops you just retreating into the corners and making games take forever by delaying the inevitable! Once we got to grips with this we started using other scenarios. One particularly tactically challenging scenario that myself and Alan played involved capturing the lion’s share of three flags. The kicker was though that one of them randomly disappears on turn 2, so you have to balance your forces in order not to be undermanned at any flag when one disappears.You need to control and “score” two points on the flags to win, or the usual WM/Hordes objective: kill the opposing caster. We played 35 points (most games are 35 or 50 points). I used a force that was fairly warbeast heavy, led by Tyrant Xerxis and his Cetrati (his warrior elite) and Alan used Striker, two of the Warjacks from his box set and lots of infantry. The battle was very close and created a very interesting tactical challenge due to the fact that I had gone beast heavy and Alan had loads more models, thinking that his infantry would be better suited to his caster than the Warjacks, based on the relatively low Focus he generates. This proved quite a shrewd calculation, and caused the Skorne some serious problems wading through the infantry to try and contest the flags. In the end I decided that it was going to take me far too long to slog my way through, so I used my force’s uber-combo: I could charge and kill one of my own models, which gave me an additional movement via one of my models’ rules, which meant that I could reach Alan’s caster and stick my Tyrant’s two big clubs through his head. This is something that takes some serious getting used to, as it’s not a tactic you can do in Warhammer! To say I thought of it off my own back would be a lie, I read it on the interwebz – aren’t forums great! The main talking point among the group after the game was Beasts/Warjacks vs massed infantry. We could see the potential for the game to become a very boring affair if one of us was to take say one warbeast or ‘jack and just bring loads of infantry the table, as it’s very hard for beasts and ‘jacks to kill lots of infantry at once if the opponent is savvy. We all went away and started to look at our lists on what we could add (apart from more infantry!) to ensure we could deal with lots of infantry, as it appears most lists have a few toys to add this.

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Unseen Lerker Around The World Dear Unseen Lerker! I’ve recently been on holiday on the French island called La Réunion in the Indian Ocean, near Madagascar. They have the highest mountain in the Indian Ocean there, it reaches an altitude of 3070m – just over three kilometres! (the mountain is called Piton Des Neiges, literally, “peaks of snow”). Now, I’m not the first one to read your great magazine in such a place but I am probably the first one to open the envelope in which it came to my house in Switzerland at such a special place! Yes, I took it up to 3070m before opening it for the first time. I resisted the urge to open it at the airport, I resisted the urge to open it on the plane and I resisted the urge to open it at the hotel! By the way, there was such a wind that it was not possible to keep the magazine open to allow for a decent reading (I needed to put my foot on it to avoid it being blown by the wind!!) If anything, the altitude made it an even better read. -Sven Kaiser, of Switzerland

Want your picture in here? Unseen Lerker is a truly global magazine - we want everyone in the world to be able to appreciate reading it. To spread word of its existence, we are looking for our readers to take Unseen Lerker to the most unusual places on earth. To get yourself in the magazine (and win an Unseen Lerker dice set!), simply send us a photo of yourself somewhere fun with either a copy of the magazine or a piece of groovy Unseen Lerker merchandise to lookatme@unseenlerker.com. Don’t forget to include your full name and location!

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EVENT SPOTLIGHT Isaac “Bobo” Alexander

Call to War We haven’t included an event spotlight in the magazine for quite some time. The reason being that I found, as the bloke writing them all, they got fairly repetitive. It’s no fun to read about an event that was a bit on the pants side (read: rubbish), so we tend to only feature tournaments that are really top-notch; big, fun and well run. But there’s only so many times you can read the long-winded equivalent of “wowzers, that was ace!” before flicking in boredom to the battle report section. So I’m not going to sugar coat this one; I’m gonna tell it like it was, m’kay? I’d decided that part of my 2011 New Year’s resolution was to play in less wargaming events. I’d done 50 or so over the past 3-4 years and was pretty burnt out. However I still had a magazine to run and pages to fill, so when Will Goodwin, the event organiser, offered me a free ticket in return for covering it in the magazine I accepted the invitation. I also hadn’t seen all of my wargaming friends in a couple of months and was looking forward to catching up with all of them.

Eager hordes of gamers gather at the Eye of the Storm. Pre-event chatter runs rampant as everyone expectantly awaits the first round draw to appear on the magic television.

The Venue All of our readers must know about Maelstrom Games by now, yeah? The wargaming world’s biggest internet retailer, they now have a lush gaming venue in Mansfield known as The Eye of the Storm. It’s top-class, I have to say, the only venue I’ve been to that’s comparable to the prestigious Warhammer World itself, and with the ever-increasing costs of running events at the latter Maelstrom’s HQ is quickly becoming the new hot spot for tournament organisers in the UK. Which was the idea behind building it, I suppose! I’ve been to three tournaments at the Eye of the Storm now, and each time I have come a little more prepared. I got laughed at back in December, when I turned up to the UK Masters event wearing a sleeveless shirt, shorts and flipflops. It was snowing outside and I looked utterly ridiculous shivering my way across the ice-slick carpark. Ten minutes later though I was the clever bunny and everyone else was sweating in their heavier clothes; The Eye of the Storm gets incredibly hot during the day with the amount of bodies inside and the inability to open any of the windows. I did the same thing this time, and was bloody glad I did! There was a nice breeze and they had the doors open but it was still sweltering; I think my “sparse” outfit probably gave me an in-game advantage over my opponents if I’m honest, and not just because they were distracted by my super manly chest hair (which I’m convinced is becoming sentient and will soon attempt a coup against the rest of my body). Having

Ben Johnson’s Skaven were among those nominated for Best Army; with a converted Rat Ogre wrangling with a Gyrocopter as a unit filler, it’s easy to see why!

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The first round kicks off! (Also, check out the size of those buildings!)

wargamed in Australia extensively I can attest to heat being a real factor when it comes to concentrating during games, so be prepared! The only other criticism I have regarding Maelstrom’s otherwise fantastic venue is the noise problem. They have, understandably, tried to fit as many tables into their gaming hall as possible, but as a result you end up butting up quite close to other players. This in itself can be gotten around by simply standing on your chair (which I actually recommend doing from a tactical point of view – gives a great outlook on the battlefield!), but the real upshot is that, with 100 people in the hall all shouting and enthusing and loudly rolling dice, it can be very difficult to have a decent conversation with your opponent, and you’re often reduced to yelling “No! They’re DEAD!”, “Another Irresistible? You goat fondler!”, “WHAT?!”, and of course, “I’m casting Mind Razor on those guys.”

Comp etcetera The “comp” system used at an event can usually be a stickier subject than one of my many failed attempts to make muffins. For this event Will had decided to use the restrictions of the upcoming European Team Championship event, to be held in Switzerland. A good idea, in my opinion, for several reasons. First of all, he didn’t write them, so can’t take any flak for any flaws in the system. They’re an internationally recognised set of parameters which everyone has access to and are the results of a conjoined efforts of a team of WHFB experts, and as a result aren’t shoddy either. Also, with Will recently having taken over the role of English captain from none other than the Army Doctor himself, it would be a good chance for him to have a look at what sort of armies were having success and he could then use the information to help his team prepare for the big event later in the year. Rather cunning, really.

The comp may look quite extensive, but it still allows for some rock-hard lists. In my experience this is always the case, regardless of how hard you try and draw the line. It should be mentioned that this isn’t a particular issue, as the idea behind a comp system is to try and level the playing field, knocking the harder armies down a peg, capping some of the more uber combinations (capping them right in the ass) and giving boosts to the less favoured races. The ETC’s comp takes this last part a step further, and not only do Beastmen and Ogres get an extra 200pts than everyone else, but you also reduce your VP score against them by 10%. Whether or not this is enough of a balance, or too much of a boost, I have no idea. An experienced player will always do well with their chosen army, regardless of what it is. It’s really only in the clash of top players that tiny differences in lists will have a pronounced effect, and even then the match can be massively overshadowed by the whims of dice. This is something which has always been present within WHFB, but in my eyes at least has become more prominent with the new edition. With pretty much every army now able to field “Death Star” units (and regularly doing so) a matchup which may have been a solidly favourable in 7th edition (Wood Elves against Beastmen, say) can often be boiled to whose Death Star wins the mega-fight in the middle. Then again, I’ve not really conducted any sort of study on the subject so there’s a reasonable chance I am talking out of my bottom.

Food (get in mah belly) When I first came to the UK and started playing in tournaments I was occasionally dumbstruck by people who complained about the food that was put on at events. The reason for my slack jaw being that I’d never seen food included with your tournament ticket before – in Australia it’s just unheard of! I really love this aspect of UK events as it’s one less thing to worry about, doesn’t break up the rhythm of the weekend (especially at a venue like

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David Sweeting’s simply splendid Orcs & Goblins army, themed around the methodology that if one something is cool then two is even cooler.

the Eye of the Storm, which ironically is in the middle of nowhere and from whence it would take an hour to trek to the closest establishment of sustenance distribution) and provides a great opportunity for everyone to sit down and share their war stories. At Maelstrom they have a set buffet menu for their events, which is a variety of sandwiches and pizza slices on the Saturday, and jacket potatoes with the usual fillings on the Sunday. They have the mandatory bar as well, for all your beverage requirements, be they alcoholic, aqua or tea based. I’ve never been to a building in the United Kingdom that didn’t have tea making facilities. I think it’s so ingrained into the Englishmen’s bloodstream by now that if they went 6 hours without tea they might, in fact, wither and turn to dust. I can’t really say much, mind you; I’ve lived here long enough now that my right cheek starts twitching uncontrollably at a lack of caffeine (or maybe that’s my suppressed ulterior personality struggling to surface again). Additionally, the weather is nice enough at this time of year that people are going absolutely mental about having barbeques. It’s a bit of a culture shock for me as in Australia you can do it pretty much whenever you want, but here in Blighty the populace are well aware of the fact that sunlight is a precious and finite resource so seem determined to have at least fifteen barbeques a week before the cold blanket of winter smothers their chance. Anyway, Maelstrom were good enough to have organised such a barbeque for the Saturday evening, and with the long daylight hours it was fabulously pleasant to stand around outdoors with a pint and a plate of mixed grill. More war stories were regaled – if there’s one thing I’ve learned about wargamers it’s that they always have a story to tell (the similarities to fishermen’s stories are often quite worrying; “it was THIS big!”).

The organisation I have been to enough tournaments now that it’s fairly easy to recognise a bad one. The venue is crummy, the scoring system is poorly thought through, the prizes are shoddy, the rounds run late, constant errors are made with the scores.You get the idea. Fortunately this wasn’t one of those occasions. Will has run a number of tournaments in the past, but they’ve always been in some country bumpkin town up north that no one (including myself) can be arsed trekking to. That said, I’ve always been a huge fan of the amount of time and effort he puts into running them, especially when it comes to the extra accessories he includes with your player’s pack.

Maelstrom also boasts a nice big overhead display showing the draw for each round, meaning there’s no desperate rush to see the printed copy being pinned to the wall; a fairly common occurrence at other events.

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EVENT SPOTLIGHT Call to War Everything went fairly smoothly over the weekend, I thought. In my experience the easiest way to identify a well run event is whether or not you “notice” anything. If you haven’t, you’re probably at a well run event. There were a few issues at Call to War, I will admit. Aside from the aforementioned problems with the venue (which no one really has any control over at this stage) the awards ceremony overran somewhat on time, largely due to the laborious charity raffle, meaning several players either had to leave before the final results or were late getting away and subsequently decapitated by displeased spouses. There were some inconsistencies in what I thought was a very simple check-box painting criteria, an old bugbear of mine from way back when soft scores ruled the roost.

Charity It’s not uncommon for tournaments in the UK to have some sort of charity element involved, and at Call to War they held a raffle to raise money for Ronald McDonald House. A host of prizes were donated by willing parties, including templates and gaming accessories from Templar’s Forge, a whole bunch of new Tomb Kings stuff, some lovely BaneLords and a BaneBeast figure from Maelstrom, and of course a few copies of the publication you’re currently reading (although not the issue you’re currently reading; we’re not time travellers.Yet.) In total the tournament raised £371 for charity, which undoubtedly gave everyone a warm and fuzzy feeling inside and helped McDonalds finance the refurbishment of new slippers for albatrosses with leukaemia, or whatever it is they do with the money.

Award winners After two hard fought days of intense fantasy warfare there must inevitably be the totting up of results to see who’s won what. Best Sports was an amusing six-way tie, and decided by a “street dice” roll-off, which was won by Tom Crockatt. I always thought that in the case of a tie the first person to offer the award to the others should receive it – surely that’s most sporting?

Bolle the Blade claims 1st overall, using his ruthless Vampire Counts army. Fencers’ Blades + Helm of Commandment = naughtiness!

Best Painted Army was won by young Mr Dave Sweeting – and a good thing too as I banked on him winning it and only photographed his army of all the nominees! It was a very nicely constructed Greenskin force featuring two Wyverns and two Arachnarok Spiders, plus a huge unit of Savage Orcs. With these awesome focal points to draw people in all he had to do was execute some crisp highlights, nice tattoo detail and more complex than average basing – all of which he did, and won by a landslide. The Best In Race awards are becoming standard fare these days, and you can see the list of winners below. James Bolle Bolsover - Vampire Counts Adie Mac - Bretonnia David Grant - Dark Elves Martyn Cooper - Lizardmen Chris Legg - Daemons Of Chaos Isaac “Bobo” Alexander - High Elves Matthew Yeo - Orcs and Goblins Mark Wildman - Beastmen Ben Johnson - Skaven Andrew Isherwood - Warriors Of Chaos Chris Tomlin - Empire Mark Saunders - Dwarfs Sandy Wilson - Ogre Kingdoms Steve Whiting - Wood Elves

Finally the overall winners: 3rd was Dave Grant, who had been yo-yoing his way up and down the top tables all weekend and his ever-consistent Dark Elves came true in the end. 2nd overall went to the legendary Adie MacWalter of the Dragon Slayers. Using Bretonnians, Adie was on table 2 in the final game and managed to steamroller a tough High Elf army despite detonating his Level 4 (and her unit of knights) on the first turn. 1st place was won by my last round opponent, Bolle the Blade, using Vampire Counts. Bolle played five out of his six games on the top table and battered no less than four other Vampire Counts armies that tried to topple him from his throne. I actually faced him in the last round and got a draw; read more overleaf.

The Best In Race generals. Some noticeably more freakish in appearance than others.

Unseen Lerker

The esteemed individual behind the tournament was Mr Will Goodwin. Will is a regular on the UK tournament circuit and has seen his fair share of podium finishes, as well as being part of Team England for his third ETC this year. He has been running tournaments for a few years now, and Call to War was his biggest to date. I managed to track him down during the weekend to pick his brains a bit. Will, as an event organiser myself I know you always end up hearing some crazy stories from people’s games. Got any good ones to share with us? The one which stands out for me was when Ben Johnson managed to use his Skaven Plague lore to Wither a big unit of High Elves to death – I’ve never seen anyone so excited! And of course as with any event where the Black Sun team turn up, there is always some strange late night goings on, though for full details I’d suggest your readers ask them next time they see them. What do you find most challenging about running a tournament of this size? Are there any tips you could give to prospective organisers out there about the preparations they need to make? I think the main challenge about running an event of this size is the admin, it may be the un-fun part of event organising but unless you get it sorted then you’re going to run into problems at the event. For Call To War the amount of admin was very large due to having to create everyone’s player packs, the magic reference cards took some 15 hours to create and if I remember correctly because of the quality of print out it needed it took 24 hours to print 90 copies on both sides and the laminating took hours. When you add this to list marking, all the extra printing you need to do you really need to plan your time.

One final note is make sure you have a workable system for recording results. There is nothing worse come the first round results to find your spreadsheet doesn’t work. You trialled the army/composition restrictions that are being used at the ETC this year. What did you think of them, particularly the Systematic Line of Sight? I think the army/composition restrictions worked well and at an event of this size it was a good test. I think the fact 8 different races made the top 10 says it all about the restrictions, though I’m still not sure I agree any army in 8th needs extra points. The SLOS seemed to work well over the weekend and I heard no complains over the weekend with its use, however having played both myself I prefer true line of sight as it is such a core part of 8th I don’t think the change is needed and allows for a lot of 7th edition playing styles which in some cases is not a good thing. Over all though I think the ETC restrictions work well and are a good starting base for a tourney organiser to use. What was the best thing about the event, for you as an organiser? For me it was seeing everyone enjoy their weekend. Over the course of the weekend I had a lot of players come over and say what a great weekend they were having and for me that is what running events is all about. So...got any more planned, or are you quitting while you’re ahead? I don’t think I could ever quit running events as I enjoy them so much. Call To War is already booked for next year after its success, however my next event will be No Holds Barred which will as the name suggests will be a no comp event and that is on the 19th/20th of November at Maelstrom Games. I won’t give away too much more till the event is announced but there will be new laminated reference sheet in the players packs. Call to War, overall verdict:

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EVENT SPOTLIGHT Call to War All Roads Lead to Rome A brief recount of my own games at Call to War Bobo: I’d been wanting to try a bit of an extreme High Elf army for some time, built around the core Levy units in the list. Spearelves have always been my favourite unit in the book, especially now that they’re so cheap, and I was really interested to see if an entire army of them could work. Unfortunately in the army building process it all went a bit wrong and my army turned into a gunline! I’m going to blame the ETC restrictions rather than take any responsibility for my own sins; you’re only allowed three of the same Core choice, so a big moving phalanx of Spearelves wasn’t going to be possible. Still, I behaved myself and steered clear of the coveted Special section completely, instead including no less than four pesky Great Eagles. The basic plan was to use the Eagles as speedbumps to force overruns and make sure that combats happened in my turn, at which point I could Irresistibly Mind Razor my Spearelves (who would then be better than any of the elites anyway, and kill the world). And if the enemy didn’t fancy coming out for a fight, well, that’s why we had Irresistible Withering plus 36 Archers and four Repeater Bolt Throwers. Oh, did I mention I had the Book of Hoeth? The interesting part was finding the models for the army. No High Elf player in the world had enough Spearelf models to represent my list! Fortunately I have a friend whose Wargames Foundry Roman army fit the bill perfectly; all I had to do was paint an extra ballista and re-base the Eagles to match, and off to war we went! *There’s somewhat of a divide when it comes to representing armies using alternative figure ranges: there are those who think it’s fine, and those who are wrong. Just kidding. My army was entirely WYSIWYG (spearmen were spearmen, archers were archers etc.) but I can appreciate some people not liking me “messing with their hobby”. Fortunately my six opponents fell into the former category and were able to put up with me occasionally muttering “dominus tecum” and “Ave, Caesar!”.

Legio Obscuri – Isaac “Bobo” Alexander (High Elves) – 2400pts Biggus Dickus Archmage: level 4, Book of Hoeth; Lore of Shadow Titus Aduxus Noble: battle standard, great weapon, Armour of Caledor, Dawnstone 36 Spearelves full command, Banner of Eternal Flame 12 Archers musician 25 Spearelves full command 12 Archers musician 25 Spearelves full command 12 Archers musician 4x Repeater Bolt Thrower 4x Great Eagle

Unseen Lerker

Game 1 – Steve Scribbins, O&G Steve is a lovely chap whom I’ve had the pleasure of socialising with at a few events previously, but we’d never played. His army worried me somewhat, as my magic could only be in one place at a time and he had lots of fast and durable threats like chariots, Squigs and a Wyvern that could give me grief. The key moment in the match was Steve boldly presenting his Wyvern for four Bolt Throwers to shoot at, only to have it charged by a Spearelf block instead. I embarrassingly failed to cast Mind Razor, but managed to hold out long enough to get in on the second attempt. A little tricksy diverting saw a valiant Great Eagle lead the Savage Orc Deathstar face-first into a building, while my other units ganged up on the Squigs and Night Goblins. Oh, I also had a Great Eagle break an Orc Boar Chariot in combat – squawk! Result: 19-1 Win.

Game 2 – Andy Smith, Dwarfs Despite England being absolutely infested with Andys, this Andy is one of my favourite Andys. We’d played once before and I’d done naughty things to him with the Banner of Despair, but this time he had the combat edge with two large units of Hammerers, a large unit of Longbeards and three choppy characters. My elves, er, bravely deployed at the back of the board, hoping to thin out the stunties’ ranks before closing in for the final blow. This worked quite well, including amusingly slowing the Dwarf Lord’s unit down the Movement 1 thanks to Miasma at one stage. Unfortunately I just couldn’t stop them all and a string of bad Ld tests and some good combat rolls by Andy let the Longbeards clean up 500 points in the centre. Trying to salvage some points, I threw my big Spearelf unit forward. They did me proud, wiping out the Lord’s Hammerers before being flanked by the other Hammerers, only to reform and butcher them too! 50 dead Hammerers! Amazing what you can do when you’re Strength 9. Result: 14-6 Win.

Game 3 – Matt Yeo, O&G Matt is this year’s Team Wales ETC captain, and I could tell right from the first few deployments that he was a shrewd player. Almost his entire army was Immune to Psychology – no leadership problems there! – and the units that weren’t got set up in deep pockets of the battlefield where they wouldn’t be bothering anyone. To top things off, the terrain was an absolute nightmare for me. There was cover everywhere and my fire arcs were painful at best. Things went from precarious to downright unwinnable when my Archmage got ‘Eadbutted to death on turn 1, leaving me with an army of very brittle Spearelves and Archers, and no magic phase. My best option that I could see was to prance about like, well, an elf, and make Matt’s life as hard as possible when it came to catching and strangling my elves. This worked really well, playing chasey around various bits of terrain, and in the end I was pleased to salvage the amount of points that I did. Result: 9-11 Loss.

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EVENT SPOTLIGHT Call to War

Game 4 – Ben Johnson, Daemons It’s a different Ben Johnson, before you ask. Ben had a rock-hard Daemon army, including a Bloodthirster, big Flamer unit, big Fiend unit, and the expected Hordes of Daemonettes and Bloodletters. The game was looking really scary for me, with again lots of cover hampering my shooting. I also ran out of Great Eagles very quickly, attempting to slow down Ben’s units until I could shoot them down to a reasonable size. As it was he presented the Bloodthirster to three Bolt Throwers and two units of Archers. It was a bit of a poison pill: shoot at the Thirster and be run over by the approaching units of Daemons, or don’t shoot at it and let it run rampant through my army. In the end I went for it, to try and get some “easy” points. Withering allowed me to knock four out of five wounds off the sucker, leaving him teetering. He then charged into a unit of Archers to get it away from all the shooting. The stand and shoot pinged off him, and he made his ward save when he failed his Dangerous Terrain test for flying into a forest, but then two of my Archers flipped up and ninja-kicked him in the face, dropping him.Yeah, baby, yeah! Unfortunately I still ended up losing two thirds of my battleline to the unstoppable Daemon host, but came away with enough points to garner victory. Result: 16-4 Win.

Game 5 – Mark Wildman, Beastmen You might remember Mark’s army from the issue 7 Army Showcase. Since then he’s been having a lot of success trying out different builds (all of them featuring the inevitable Herdstone Shard). His latest incarnation was three units of 40 Gors & Bestigors with assorted characters, walking across the board and smashing faces with a combination of Beasts & Shadow magic plus the Beast Banner. Unfortunately for Mark I think the terrain meant I was never going to lose this game: I was able to castle up my army in the secure bastion between a building and some impassable terrain. My Eagles busied themselves with flitting about and slowing him down, while I jumped in and out of the building with various units to make sure nothing was ever really in danger of being killed. The rules

for buildings are very abusable if played to their full extent (the Army Doctor is a master of the art, I’m told), and as a result Mark could never really get to grips using his extremely wide units. A suicidal Eagle charge into some depleted Gors including Great Bray Shaman held on long enough for my 36 Spearelves to come and mop them up, securing me the win. Result: 15-5 Win.

Game 6 – Bolle, Vampire Counts No, I don’t know where his nickname comes from; I just go with it. Now, this game was a bit odd. Bolle and I were playing on table 1 in the last round, effectively deciding who won the tournament. Unfortunately for me the nature of the 20-0 scoring system meant that while I’d been chipping away against armies tougher than mine and squeaking by on medium sized wins, Bolle had been at the top all weekend decapitating anyone who even looked at him sideways. Some combined arithmetic before our game revealed that I actually needed to massacre him 19-1 or better to overtake him in the tournament – not an easy task, even when I’m on my game! The task may have been achievable if Bolle had been silly enough to line up across the table and run at me, but he (quite sensibly) deployed in a defensive bunker around a building in his deployment zone and was adamant about staying there (except some Wraiths, who came forward as I couldn’t hurt them). From that stage, I basically had the decision of whether to run at him with my army of Spearelves and Archers, and hope to pressure him into doing something stupid that would give me the win, or sit back and take a draw and hope that none of the people chasing me in the tournament would overtake me. I took the latter, safer option, and what could have been an exciting game on table 1 turned into a 12 minute 0VP draw. Four people overtook me as a result and I finished 6th overall, a bit disappointing after my efforts, and Bolle deservingly won the event. Before you jump to conclusions, I have no issue with someone playing a static game like that when they know they’ve got the advantage – Bolle had earned his victory over his other five games and knew that in a longterm campaign like trying to win a tournament it’s often necessary to play it cool, especially near the end.

Unseen Lerker

THE REMATCH

Mind Razor later and I obliterated all 28 plus the Wight King in one round.Yee-hah!

On the drive home it struck me suddenly that I’d made completely the wrong decision in my game against Bolle. Not because I’d finished 6th or whatever; just because it seemed like an undeserving way to finish what had been quite a tense and fun weekend of gaming. I thought I owed it to the game more to actually have a proper go at it; even if the likely result of me charging at that building would have been me getting massacred nine out of ten times (which I believe is the case). Also, the stage I’m at with my wargaming “career”, there’s no real difference to me between finishing 6th or 60th, so I might as well make a last charge for glory if I have the chance!

Things were still looking fairly grim for me though. I’d been trying to delay the Wraiths, even resorting to charging Archers INTO them to hold them up for another round, but they soon demolished my bowmen and turned back to the action. Now, here is where I think Bolle made a fairly easy mistake. His Wraiths were unengaged, and marched to the middle of the action. In his magic phase he had about six trillion dice, so could guarantee the Van Hels charge on them, but instead of attacking my Spear-star he charged them into my Archmage, who was wandering around and picking his nose between chapters of the Book of Hoeth (he really only likes the pretty pictures anyway). This is an error I think a lot of players would make, as it can be very easy to get fixated on “that little bugger who keeps casting all those IF spells!”, but I think that if Bolle had sent them into the Spear-star instead he should still have massacred me quite comfortably.

After a week or so of thinking what might have been, I picked up the phone and gave Bolle a ring, and invited him down to the UL HQ for a rematch. He sportingly accepted, and we set a date. When he rocked up I asked him if he wanted to replay our table 1 game, with him bunkering in the corner and me running at him like I should have done. He declined, pointing out that since we were making an article out of it we might as well have a proper game. I couldn’t really disagree – and prepared to be Ghoul-rushed! With so few deployments Bolle basically just picked one side of the battlefield to attack and deployed his army there. In my experience this is actually quite a good way to psych out your opponent, and comes with virtually no risk since the enemy has to fight the undead anyway to score any real points. Bolle got the first turn and performed the expected shuffle, Ghoul raise and Van Hels on the Wraiths. The ghostly ghosts were closing on my lines quite quickly, and there was duck all I could do about it, so instead I adopted somewhat of a ballsy approach and marched all of my Spearelves 10” towards the enemy, taking them out of sight of the Wraiths but into charge range of the Ghouls. Let’s see how well that mithril holds up, eh! Not so well it turned out, as on two separate occasions a unit of Ghouls charged a unit of Spearelves, and on both combats I broke after needing double 1s to hold. Bolle was forced to restrain pursuit though, as doing so would leave his Vampire’s bunker unit somewhat vulnerable to my 36 Spearelves with my BSB. Once again I was shedding Great Eagles very fast (three sacrificed in two turns), but I managed to draw the Grave Guard into a position where I could charge them with my Spear-star. One Okkam’s

As it was his Vampire Lord was forced to scramble for an exit, jumping ship into another unit of Ghouls and pushing his former bodyguards in front of the Spear-star to hold them up. What it did allow me to do though was charge a depleted Spearelf unit into the Lord’s new bunker, and then boost them up with a further Mind Razor (from the Archmage, who’d just rallied). Despite it being a fairly sizeable Ghoul unit my Spearelves killed 17 with their attacks and pulverised the remainder, including the Vampire, with combat res. Of slight embarrassment was the Necromancer, also in the unit, managing to kill a Spearelf using only his smock, but everything started falling to pieces and the day was won.

Result: Massacre win to the Romans! Despite some fortuitous dice here and there and a few mistakes by Bolle, it was quite an enjoyable affair. I find I’m enjoying social gaming more and more these days, as without the pressure of playing in a public/observed environment everything about the game just seems to flow a lot more pleasantly. I’ve had some of my most fun games getting utterly massacred by friends in a poorly lit back room (and once or twice, on the floor), and I’m finding that for me these days the hobby is much more about hanging out with the people involved than actually winning games. That’s not to say I wouldn’t take the Book of Hoeth again. Man, that thing is bent!

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A house, a house, my kingdom for a house.. rule Andrew Chesney

In an ideal world everyone around the planet would pick up the same rules, and with them being completely clear and without ambiguity the games would be fun, fast-flowing and flawless. The Warhammer world, like all others, does not reside in this Utopian dream. Therefore we all (yes even you) change the rules, some small, some giving wholesale modifications to entire phases. These, to a greater or lesser extent are known as House Rules. A House Rule is just that, a rule variation that is played whenever you play games on somebody else’s “patch” and are used in most clubs and at almost all tournaments. No matter what you may think about them, House Rules can stop the game from descending into a two hour rules debate or just change something you don’t like.

I don’t want anyone to tamper with MY game. There are some out there who might not wish to alter any of the rules in the book, instead playing “Purehammer”. There is nothing wrong with trying to get the most out of a rules system. After all the designers did spend months writing hundreds of pages of rules by which you should play. But – and it is a big “but” – there is a whole section in the rulebook on how you should make the game your own. So let’s look at what people are choosing to overrule.

Yay! Club night down at The Goat & Tricycle*. Can I use my Megalobbalord? When going to a club for the first time it can be daunting. Not knowing many people, yet hoping the army you have taken hours over will claim a few scalps. The last thing you want is to rock up and have an army that’s too powerful, or too weak! It is always a good idea to chat to the club regulars first, ask how things are usually played and make sure your army fits into the same power level that everyone else is using. It’s no fun being “that guy”, as I’m sure Bobo can confirm (....sigh. –Ed).

Here’s a random selection of some of the house rules I have seen used in the last 20 years: • No unpainted figures • Hills & woods always block line of sight • No magic items • Toss a coin to see who you play, and who goes first • A pint of beer must be drunk between each turn • Newcomers with Megalobbalords must be smashed... As you can see they tend to be varied and usually on the lighter side of the hobby! *This is a real pub... look it up, fool.

I’m going to AwsomeCon 7 with my Dark Elves, what changes affect me? The first thing you need to do when going to a tournament is check out the rules pack. It will tell you all the things that affect you when choosing your army list. Again these range from small changes, like limiting characters in some way, to stopping you from performing some manoeuvres that would normally be allowed. Let’s have a look at a few.

No Special Characters An age old rule that is probably one of the most common on any scene, and probably the least controversial. Some of the Warhammer Special Characters *Cough, Teclis, Cough* are more powerful than others, and even if the points costs went up they would still dominate games.

Unseen Lerker

You may not enter a building on the same turn as you perform a reform manoeuvre This has come into play because of one scenario alone: the Watchtower. Although the game itself can be great fun and tense to play, the prospect of your opponent managing to get a unit with a 4” move into a building 11” away, on turn 1, is not so good. Especially as it could be anything from a huge Daemon unit to a 20 man Zombie unit (that is 100+ after the magic phase). With it being almost impossible to shift units from the tower without wiping them out this one seems to make sense, and we use it in all of the events that we run.

1 Using their remaining move, they enter the building, some models teleporting very far to get in. POOF! Like magic, they’re gone.

Any and all buildings have a maximum capacity of X models, regardless of the size or number of floors. Units larger than this may not enter them, though they may assault them as normal.

Deployment, everything seems normal. Lovely weather, wot.

The Marauders perform a swift reform into a long conga line, to come within 4” of the building.

Buildings have become a huge part of the game. This house rule, combined with the previous one, prevent them from becoming too game dominating. Whilst 20 Halberdiers vs. 15 Chaos Warriors fighting over a Watchtower is good fun and fairly close, allowing 40 Horrors or 100+ Zombies to sit in there with virtually no risk borders on pointlessness. Some scenarios depend on buildings being used, and with the occupying unit being Stubborn the game can be over before it has had chance to develop.

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When a character joins a unit he must be placed in the front rank closest to his starting position, unless the position in the front rank is within his movement allowance. This rule covers something that has been happening in Warhammer since 4th edition. Usually, as long a character can reach a unit with its move it may be placed anywhere in the front rank.

This represents them forcing their way to the head of the unit, where any character should be of course. Unfortunately the side effect of this is the apparent “teleporting” of a model to an extreme position. Even though the rulebook is clear, can we really be okay with models moving 40” or more in one go?

+4” 8”

8”

✗

✔

Whenever a unit reforms it must endeavour to bring all characters to its front rank. Instances when characters of varying types are allowed to skulk in the second rank should be the remit of Skaven players alone (as a Skaven player, Andrew might be a touch biased here... –Ed). The situation arises when a unit’s front rank is full with regular command models, or maybe even fighty characters too.

SB CH MU

✗

REFORM

This allows the softer, more squishy Wizards to be placed in the rank behind. In subsequent turns however if the unit reforms to be as wide as it wants there is nothing forcing the Wizard to step forward, and therefore is almost un-killable. A bit of a glitch in the rules’ wording, if you ask me.

SB CH MU

✔ SB

SB – Standard Bearer CH – Champion MU – Musician

REFORM

Unseen Lerker

When characters in units are affected by the following spells they take a single wound instead of dying: Dwellers Below, Final Transmutation, Dreaded Thirteenth Spell, Infernal Gateway (warp result) Most events are trying to curtail the affects of game changing / game ending magic. With the relative ease in which mages can get spells of with Irresistible Force there is a feeling that when they have a 1 in 6 chance at worst of killing even the most powerful and well defended characters it doesn’t quite feel right. As with the building rule tweaks it is compounded by the specific scenarios like Blood and Glory whereby losing one character can end the game instantly.

Units and characters that are fleeing at the end of the game count as being destroyed for Victory Points purposes. Finally we look at the victory points awarded at the end of the game. The main reason for this change is to stop enemy units from just fleeing every charge, or indeed failing every panic test and it not making a difference. The early days of WHFB 8th edition soon turned into five-turn games as turn 6 had little or no affect on the outcome. At least with this you can still turn the game on its head with a last ditch charge! In summary we can see that there are always rules and situations that people would like either covered in more detail or changed. House Rules allow you to tailor your games to your own tastes. After reading this you may wish to try some out for yourself, or come up with new rules of your own. Whatever you do, enjoy your gaming and above all embrace the rules offered up to you. Remember there is no point in bemoaning the Big Red Book, or even grumbling about tournament rules packs, it’s just that group’s best effort at making a better gaming experience. Some of you may have noticed I haven’t touched on the house rules that change how you write your armies. Individual army restrictions are a topic big enough for their own article....and I think I’ll shut up now before Bobo asks me to write that one too!

In a bit of a tight spot, the Slann...erm....“skilfully” saves himself by Dwellering the Vampire Lord.

WILL PAINT FOR FOOD Love gaming, but don’t have the time or motivation to paint? Got loads of miniatures just begging for a lick of colour? Well, why not hand it over to a professional, and have him do all the hard work! Andy Isherwood has been involved in wargaming for 15 years, and has been painting for a living for the past five. Prices start at a reasonable £4/figure for a good tabletop standard, with colour schemes and conversions entirely flexible depending on your preference. Email Andy at paintedmini@gmail.com to find out how he can beautify YOUR war-dollies!

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BATTLE REPORT:

Not Easy Bein’ Green Ben Johnson (O&G) VS Steve Wren (O&G) Introduction It can be a bit hard sometimes, as a bi-monthly publication, to keep up with the times. Try as we might to keep you up to date with the latest hot gossip we’re never going to be able to compete with the instant gratification that the internet provides (wherever your mind just went...please come back). Still, that doesn’t stop us from trying! This issue we were really keen to get the new Orcs & Goblins on the battlefield and see what they could do. And what better way, we thought, to show off the new book than to have not one but TWO greenskin armies in the battle report! Once we rounded up a couple of gullible lab rats who wouldn’t mind embarrassing themselves in print and we were in business. Ben Johnson has been playing his Orcs for years, and his army is well known through a combination of the many Best Army awards it’s won on the UK tournament scene as well as the publicity it gets on the Warhammer podcast Ben hosts (Bad Dice). If you are devoted enough you can even flick back to Unseen Lerker issue 1 where Ben’s Orc Warboss makes a sneaky cameo in the Giant Fanatic event coverage*.

Steve Wren is less well known than his opponent (largely due to being half as loud, one might argue), only having emerged onto the gaming scene in the past year or two. His unique conversions and fantastic centrepieces have taken the UK circuit by storm, earning him numerous awards as well as several lawsuits when people’s jaws crunchingly impacted the floor. Steve is also one of these weird multi-tasking people who runs marathons and stuff; people who are “into fitness” aren’t to be trusted if you ask us. *Don’t spend too long reading issue 1 though – your eyes may start bleeding when confronted by Bobo’s archaic “formatting skillz”. (Oi! Erk you! –Ed.) With the new rules being the main focus of the report we decided to let the players just fight a bog-standard Pitched Battle instead of a whacky scenario like we’ve done the past couple of issues. Hopefully this would give us a chance to see some funky new things in action (as opposed to our original proposal, having the two armies climbing a mountain, playing the piano at the summit then hang-gliding off the top while Mork and Gork played football inside a teapot**) and let Ben and Steve strut their stuff. To add an extra touch of awesomeocity to the report we asked the players to each bring along any funky terrain pieces they might have – as you’ll see on the following pages, we were not disappointed! **We really need to stop drinking at our concept meetings.

Unseen Lerker

“Kill ‘em from a distance.” Ben: Certain beverages aside, few things excite me more than trying to nut out the latest army book. In this case my anticipation was heightened somewhat due to having already played Orcs for several years. With that in mind, I was pleasantly surprised to discover that I barely had to change my army at all! Initial impressions revealed that the list I’d been using for some time was still totally viable; an occasional concern when rules get revised is the need to paint new things. My army has always played quite defensively, built around big blocks backed up by enough war machines, magic support and chaff that by the time the enemy finally makes it across the board the basic Orc units mop them up with ease. One big boost to the army is the new and super improved Pump Wagons. They’re too cheap not to take and unless the enemy has some decent shooting you can happily throw them forward and watch the enemy struggle to deal with them.

I was confident that my frontline units were big enough to hold long enough for support to arrive, especially once I’d whittled Steve’s own units down a bit. The Rock Lobba and Doom Diver seem by far to be the best value when it came to war machines. I knew that Steve would be bringing some variety of Arachnarok Spider (I follow him on Twitter, muhahaha), which could prove quite problematic for the rest of my army, so it was target #1 for my magic and artillery. Once the big gribbly went down though I expected I would have a lot more boots on the board, which should give me the option to sit back a bit and wait for him to come to me, whittling him down along the way. Failing that, I could always try and sneak my Hellpit Abomination onto the table...

The massively reduced cost of Boar Boyz is another big boon – I used them in their previous incarnation (and they were “okay”), but now they’re ~130pts cheaper so I effectively get a free Black Orc hero in the deal as well. Seems pretty good to me! My army general had to be the Level 4 Orc Great Shaman; the Big Waaagh spells are just too good to pass up. I gave him the Earthing Rod, as it’s pretty much essential for a big wizard these days, especially if he’s the general. Also, it’s the best Common Arcane item choice after the Power Scroll, which I was pointedly told not to take (damn battle report fluff bunnies, out to ruin my fun!). The Little Waaagh spells are pretty darn nasty as well in the right situation, so a level 2 Gobbo chappy with the mandatory Dispel Scroll couldn’t be far wrong either. An extra-inspiring Battle Standard Bearer rounded things out; deployed in the same unit as my general his +1Ld banner boost the Great Shaman’s Inspiring Presence to Ld9, which would come in handy once we got stuck in. Barring the mounted bloke my characters would be deployed in a “bunker” unit behind my lines to keep them safe. Killing characters is very easy in this edition and is the easiest way to score victory points, so keeping them safe was a priority.

Big Boss Ben’s Bashin’ Boyz: 2400pts Orc Great Shaman – 225 Level 4, Earthing Rod Black Orc Big Boss – 158 Basha’s Axe of Stunty Bashin’, War Boar Black Orc Big Boss – 132 Battle Standard, Standard of Discipline Night Goblin Shaman – 110 Level 2, Dispel Scroll 29 Orc Boyz – 238 Full command, shields, light armour 29 Orc Boyz – 238 Full command, shields, light armour

28 Night Goblins – 184 Full command, nets, shields, 1 Fanatic 5 Goblin Wolf Riders – 50 5 Goblin Spider Riders – 65 20 Black Orcs – 295 Full command 10 Orc Boar Big ‘Uns – 290 Full command, Banner of Swiftness 10 Squig Hoppers – 120 Rock Lobber – 85 Doom Diver – 80 Pump Wagon – 65 Flappies, Spiky Roller Pump Wagon – 65 Flappies, Spiky Roller

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“I’m a lover not a fighter, honest...” Steve: I was pretty chuffed to be asked to take part in an Unseen Lerker battle report, as my reputation is more about having a pretty looking army than any great tactical success at tournaments. So rather than underwhelm you all with some pretty standard thoughts on army selection I thought that I would tell you a little story about the build up to my moment of fame instead. With the new Orc book coming out and all the lovely new models I set about deciding what I should add to my horde. There was really only one choice – the Arachnarok Spider. I waited patiently for my box of goodies from Maelstrom Games to arrive, knowing I only had a couple of weeks before the big battle. Once I got my hands on the kit it really didn’t disappoint. The spider goes together beautifully and I soon had the basic model ready to go. I gave the model a quick undercoat of red spray and then dusted areas with a green spray to try and give the large carapace some variety. Once the whole thing was washed I was able to start highlighting and detailing the red and bringing it up to a brighter red. The underside was based Dheneb Stone, washed and highlighted back up to get a pallid skin colour. Meanwhile I was also reading the new rules – the Venom Surge sounded awesome, so did thunderstomp, strider rules and best of all it’s got a monstrous eight wounds! In 7th edition and more so in 8th edition I have had my favourite model, a scratch built giant in the shape of a Squig, be hit with a turn one rock or cannonball and disappear into the dead pile as it only had five wounds. Finally I had a multi wound monstrosity that I could get to play with, even with the true line of sight rules letting it get hit easily. And so I got on with lining the carapace and painting all the horns and pincers. I thought that nice bright yellow would be a sharp highlight that would stand out, so I carefully lined all the ridges and bumps. It was timeconsuming, but with a good brush, a relatively painless task (unlike painting the little spiders on the belly! That was a much more annoying experience). Once the spider was finished I got cracking on the base. I just used the standard base with a few ruins and some of my trademark mushrooms, flocked it, and glued the spider in place. I had managed to finish it with just a day to go. So with the centrepiece of the army ready I set about picking the rest of the army. I went with pretty much my trademark build, with blocks of Boyz (including the now obligatory Big‘Un Horde) and a unit of Black Orcs. With the Choppa rule it would only be right to take two choppas if possible; getting extra attacks AND extra strength is as close to having your cake and eating it as greenskins get. I then threw in some diverting Spiders, a unit of Squig Hoppers as the randomness is lots of fun, and a unit of 40 Night Goblins to act as a Steadfast bunker. For characters I picked two Lords: a Level 4 Orc with the Earthing Rod and Crown of Command and a Lord with a

Charmed Shield and Dawnstone to make him survivable, and a Sword of Strife for some extra hitting power. Finally I threw in two Goblin Shamans and a Black Orc Battle Standard Bearer. With the army chosen I was ready and excited to unleash the Spider on Waaaagh Johnson…

Super Steve’s Slick Slashers: 2395pts Black Orc Warboss – 230 Charmed Shield, Dawnstone, Sword of Strife

20 Orc Boys – 175 Full command, extra choppas

Orc Great Shaman – 225 Earthing Rod, Crown of Command

40 Night Goblins – 185 Standard, musician, nets

Black Orc Big Boss – 160 Battle Standard, Talisman of Preservation Night Goblin Shaman – 110 Level 2, Dispel Scroll Night Goblin Shaman – 85 Level 2 29 Orc Big ‘Uns – 341 Full command, extra choppas, Razor Standard

5 Goblin Spider Riders – 80 Shields, spears, bows, musician 5 Goblin Spider Riders – 80 Shields, spears, bows, musician 20 Black Orcs – 290 Full command, Standard of Discipline 12 Squig Hoppers – 144 Arachnarok Spider – 290

Unseen Lerker

The Setup Seeing the two armies deploy brought the first strange sense of vertigo for those observing the game. Both players adopted a similar setup, with all of their main important block units in a strong central position under the watchful gaze of their generals and battle standard bearers. Greenskin armies are notoriously unreliable so having the most valuable units in the most “reliable” position seemed prudent. The less expensive units (fast cavalry) and immune to psychology stuff (Squig Hoppers, Pump Wagons, Black Orcs & The Big Spider) were left to their own devices on the flanks, in the main facing off against their counterparts.

MAGIC Ben Orc level 4 – Brain Bursta, Fists of Gork, ‘Ere We Go, Foot of Gork Night Goblin level 2 – Vindictive Glare, Itchy Nuisance

Ben’s Rock Lobber took up position on the very impressive Temple of Skulls terrain piece that Steve had brought, looking somewhat dangerous with a view over the entire battlefield. Other than that both players had their main combat units looking to dash up the centre and make use of the orc village and the Idol of Mork within – even a small edge like re-rolling a failed charge distance could prove the difference in this mirror match.

Steve Orc level 3 – Fists of Gork, Hand of Gork, ‘Eadbutt Night Goblin level 2 – Itchy Nuisance, Gork’ll Fix It Night Goblin level 2 – Sneaky Stabbin’, Night Shroud

Deployment

VANGUARD

Black Orc Warboss

Orc Great Shaman

Black Orc Big Boss

Night Goblin Shaman

29 Orc Big ‘Uns

29 Orc Boyz

20 Orc Boys

28 Night Goblins

40 Night Goblins

5 Goblin Wolf Riders

5 Goblin Spider Riders

20 Black Orcs – 290

20 Black Orcs

12 Squig Hoppers

10 Orc Boar Big ‘Uns

Arachnarok Spider

10 Squig Hoppers Rock Lobber Doom Diver

VANGUARD Pump Wagon

VANGUARD

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Turn 1 Ben won the roll and began pushing his toys forward. His battleline transcended from being very aggressive on the west, with the Boar Boyz plus their supporting Pump Wagon and Orc block moving almost halfway across the table, to much more passive on the east, where the Black Orcs shielded the Night Goblin character bunker and the second Orc block hung back, wary of what mysteries the interposing forest might contain. The magic phase kicked off with a mighty 11 power dice for Big Ben. He began by trying to draw out some of Steve’s dispel dice with a Brainbursta against one of Steve’s level 2 Shamans. “Eh, he’s got a wound to spare,” said Steve, allowing the spell through and taking the strength 5 hit on the chin. Next, Ben cast ‘Ere We Go, giving his nearby troops re-rolls for a turn and making sure any early combats would be well in his favour. Steve also let this through – he obviously had no intention of being in combat just yet anyway! Ben still had six dice clutched in his meaty fist, and with a cry of “Stomp that spider!” threw them all at a high-powered Foot of Gork, which went off with Irresistible Force. Uh oh. The enormous green appendage plummeted from the sky and mashed the arachnid with a S6 hit, which struck true and multiplied into three wounds. Hmm. Of course, then Ben rolled a

4+ and had the spell carry on! A quick double-check of the new spell confirmed that it could indeed continue stomping on the same target, and another two wounds were inflicted, leaving the big gribbly staggering along on just a single wound. The miscast result brought some magical feedback, wounding both the Great Shaman who had cast the spell as well as his Night Goblin protégé. The Rock Lobba misfired in the shooting phase, with a “dud” result. The Doom Diver, though, sighted Steve’s wonderfully painted, teetering spider monster across the table, and jettisoned their winged friend with an encouraging shout of “You can do it, Billy!”. The last thing that the Arachnarok saw was a screaming goblin strapped to a set of wings, before its head was caved in by the sure-fire projectile. Result! In response, Steve charged his eastern Spider Riders into the eager Pump Wagon opposite, while their western counterparts moved to outflank the Wolf Riders and possibly have a go at the war machines in the coming turns. The Night Goblins squabbled, but the Black Orc Warboss kicked one of them in the face and they fell back into order. The rest of Steve’s troops edged forward cautiously, perhaps a little nervous without their eightlegged monstrous support.

Unseen Lerker

SPLAT! 1

TURN 1 BEN 1 Splat goes the Spider! The Foot of Johnson descends and eradicates the arachnid before it can move.

2 The Boar Boyz and Pump Wagon edge up, daring the enemy to advance...

3 The Great Shaman miscasts, causing his Goblin apprentice’s brains to leak out his ears a little, but luckily escaping harm himself.

2 3

TURN 1 STEVE 1 The Squig Hoppers and Orcs decide to play it a little more cautiously, waiting for the Boar Boyz to make their move.

2 Another miscast! This time

CHARGE! OVER-RUN

Sensing combat was fast approaching, Steve attempted an Itchy Nuisance spell against the Boar Boyz in the magic phase, which Ben dispelled. He then tried to return the previous turn’s favour and swing the game around with an Irresistible ‘Eadbutt spell, targeting Ben’s wounded Great Shaman. Unfortunately for Steve he rolled a “1” to wound, and the resulting miscast then incinerated six of his own Black Orcs! Not quite to plan! The combat phase went much better by comparison, with the Spider Riders wounding and breaking the Pump Wagon, running it down and carrying on into the Squig Hoppers behind.

it’s Steve’s Great Shaman, who detonates and kills 6 of his Black Orc pals. Oops.

3 The Spider Riders go

for glory! Charging and breaking the Pump Wagon, they overrun into the Squig Hoppers behind – perhaps slightly tougher prey!

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Turn 2 Righto, here’s where the action really begins! First, Ben wanted to charge his Boar Boyz into the proffered Orc Boyz unit, but before he could the Wolf Riders nearby failed their animosity test and began pelting their burlier boar-mounted cousins with rocks, dung and hedgehogs who were clearly in the wrong place at the wrong time. All was well though as Ben also had a Black Orc character in the unit, and some brief fist-to-face negotiations later saw business carry on as normal. The Boar Boyz charged Steve’s Orc block, who held. Elsewhere, Ben’s Spider Riders assaulted the flank of Steve’s Spider Riders who were currently fighting the Squigs. Ben’s Squigs, that is. Golly, I’m confused already – and I was there!

The rest of Ben’s movement was the traditional Warhammer “shuffle time” manoeuvre; evidently Ben felt he’d wrested enough control over the game that he could afford to wait and let Steve come to him now. Magic began in a similar fashion as last turn, though this time Ben put some effort into casting Brainbursta against the wounded Night Goblin Shaman, as another wound now would kill him. Steve obviously agreed, and managed to dispel Ben’s casting roll of 18 on his five dispel dice. This left Ben free reign, and although he managed to cast his favourite Foot spell he did manage to hex the Orcs in combat with Itchy nuisance, reducing their Initiative to 1. The Doom Diver and Rock Lobba obviously had similar ideas in the shooting phase, homing in on the central Big’Uns and killing four of them in total. Combat, meanwhile, was far more exciting. The two units of Spider Riders exchanged polite blows, with one casualty a side, before Ben’s Squigs were unleashed and ate the remainder of the charging unit. Um....burp?

The other combat was even more brutal, with the Boar Boyz killing 12 enemies including the Night Goblin Shaman on the charge. They lost two models in return, but still won combat by an obscene margin and left the Orcs needing Insane Courage to hold. The downtrodden footsloggers failed to make the required roll, and legged it, but amusingly the Boar Boyz failed to catch them, pursuing a mere 5”! Eager to capitalise on this failure, Steve’s Squig Hoppers gribbled, wobbled and bounced their way into the Boar Boyz flank. If they could break them, Steve was back in the game! Nearby, the dejected Orc Boyz managed to rally, but what use they would be with only nine models left remained to be seen. His other units moved forward, trying to tempt The Johnson into a good old fashioned scrap in the middle of the table and counting on the combination of his Big’Uns horde formation plus his Night Goblins’ ranks to triumph.

Unseen Lerker

TURN 2 BEN 1 A moment of Squabbling

OVER-RUN

CHARGE!

CHARGE! REFORM

takes place, but the Boar Boyz ignore it as their Black Orc leader quells the ranks, while the Wolf Riders get a short kicking for their cheek. The Boar Boyz charge the Orc unit they’ve been presented with, blasting through them but only pursuing 5”. Nearby the Pump Wagon rumbles towards the Squigs.

2 The war machines’ 3

attentions shift to the Big’Uns, culling four from their ranks.

3 In the Spiders vs Spiders &

Squigs results in the Squigs killing...everything. As expected, really.

TURN 2 STEVE

RALLY

1 Espying victory, the Squigs

CHARGE!

FLEE

bounce into the flank of the Boar Boyz, but one short Make Way move later and the Black Orc Big Boss biffed them up and broke them! How rude!

2 With nothing for it, Steve tries to force the issue and boldly pushes his units forward.

Thanks to some cheeky channelling Ben managed to match Steve for dice in the magic phase, but Mr Wren still managed to get off the Night Shroud on his Big’Uns, making them an even tougher prospect in combat, while the Fists of Gork targeting Ben’s level 2 was dispelled. The combat phase rolled around, and up until now everyone (including Ben!) had forgotten that the Black Orc hero could “make way” to the end of the long fighting rank. The upshot of this was that when he did so the Squigs only had him to attack instead of the squishier Boar Boyz. This resulted in the Black Orc taking just a single wound thanks to his armour, and him managing to slay two of them in return. The combat was a draw, but a quick toot of a musician’s horn later and the Squigs broke in disarray! Disaster! Ben restrained pursuit – part of some cunning plan, no doubt.

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Turn 3 The cunning plan, it turned out, involved charging the Boar Boyz in to finish off the rallied Orc regiment, while leaving the fleeing Squig Hoppers to be dealt with by the nearby Pump Wagon. This was all well and good until the Pump Wagon failed to reach the Squigs by 1”! In the main Ben declined to engage Steve’s forces in a straight-up fight, content to back off slightly and let the war machines continue taking their toll. The prime exception to this was the Squig Hoppers (Ben’s unit this time, on the east flank – do try to keep up) launching themselves straight at the Shrouded Big’Uns. The Spider Riders nearby were put on speedbump duty in front of the Black Orcs, while Ben’s Shamans rubbed their hands together and prepared to use magic to solve their problems. Which did not happen at all – ‘Ere We Go was dispelled, while Itchy Nuisance failed to cast. A nice change for Steve, I’d imagine! The Rock Lobba targeted the Black Orcs but scattered wide. The Doom Diver had no such problems however, as another keen volunteer piloted his deathtrap device into the elite orcs’ midst and felled five of them. The Black Orcs failed their panic test, including the re-roll, and scarpered off the board with Steve’s Great Shaman in tow. I looked at Steve. Steve looked at me. “Game, set, match?” I asked. Ben then pointed out (after letting us agonise a little) that they were Immune to Psychology in the new book, and the unit was returned to the table. Ahem, moving on...

In close combat the Boar Boyz repeated their previous performance, wiping out their foes completely for only a single loss and combat reforming to face the Night Goblins’ rear. The Squigs also went slightly bonkers, killing eight Big’Uns and the Shaman housed within. They lost seven of their number in return, but managed to hold with only a -2 break test. Steve’s Black Orcs grudgingly accepted the fast cavalry diverters they’d been given, charging the Spider Riders. Elsewhere, the Squig Hoppers failed to rally and bounced off the board, while the general’s Night Goblin unit performed a swift reform and moved toward the Boar Boyz.

Unseen Lerker

TURN 3 BEN FLEE

1 The Pump Wagon chases

REFORM

the fleeing Squigs off the table.

2 The Boar Boyz charge their

FAILED CHARGE!

former prey, and this time annihilate the Orc Boyz, reforming to face the Night Goblins’ rear.

CHARGE!

3 Ben’s Squig Hoppers 2 3

descend on the Big’Uns, killing a swathe of Orcs but almost being wiped out in return.

4 The majority of Ben’s army

CHARGE!

backs off a little, waiting to see what transpires in the centre before committing.

TURN 3 STEVE 1 The Night Goblins, with their Warboss, reform to face the looming Boar Boyz.

2 The Big’Uns finish off

REFORM

the Squig Hoppers in combat, but their ranks are dwindling...

CHARGE!

REFORM

Steve’s magic proved just as lacklustre as Ben’s this turn, with only a few paltry augments to hand which failed to have any discernable effect. In the combat phase the Black Orcs duly obliterated the Spider Riders, combat reforming to face the action once more, while the Big’Uns finished off the Squigs and readied themselves for the next assault.

3 The Black Orcs reluctantly rid themselves of the annoying Spider Rider speedbump, reforming to face the action once more.

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Unseen Lerker

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Turn 5 Now, it seemed, was the time for Ben to strike! Sure enough, both units of Orc Boyz (still at full strength) launched themselves at their drastically reduced foes. The eastern unit charged the Black Orcs who had to hold due to, as mentioned earlier, being Immune to Psychology. The other unit charged Steve’s Big’Uns in the flank – an above average roll was required, so Steve held, but he had not factored on the Idol of Mork, which easily allowed Ben to make the distance. Things looked grim for the Slick Slashers tribe. With Ben’s Great Shaman gone from the board his magic was easily quelled, while the war machines turned their attentions to defending themselves from the marauding Spider Riders heading their way. The Doom Diver misfired and would have to miss the next turn, effectively taking itself out of the game, but the Rock Lobba scored a direct hit and managed to flatten two of the goblin cavalry. They resolutely passed their panic test though, and prepared to make a dash for glory. In close combat things were less peachy, as Steve’s Black Orcs managed to drag down four Orc Boyz before losing four of their own in return. The Great Shaman’s Crown of Command was produced though, and the Stubborn boss-man and his last remaining bodyguard held on by the skin of their teeth. Nearby, Steve’s Battle Standard Bearer “made way” to the fighting rank, only to be met with a choppa in the face! He clung to life with a single wound remaining. The Orc Boyz and Big’Uns exchanged blows, and all things considered the flanked Big’Uns managed to do quite well for themselves, only losing combat by two!

Not only did they hold, but they managed to combat reform as well, ready to give the Orc Boyz a proper fight face to face. The Night Goblins, meanwhile, were quickly running out of models and this round had exactly enough remaining to maintain their steadfastiness (yes, that is a word. I said so.) and hold. Only two Boar Boyz and their Boss remained. Steve’s turn was pretty straightforward. The Spider Riders made a break for the Rock Lobba. The Great Shaman didn’t roll many magic dice and failed to give himself the Fists of Gork. The Spider Riders’ bows missed. And then it was straight onto the combat phase! Unfortunately for Steve this phase saw the end of the Night Goblins, with all of them being cut down. Without their steadfast support the Warboss could hold no longer,

Unseen Lerker

TURN 5 BEN 1 Steve’s Warboss proves too successful for his own good, killing two more Boar Boyz and leaving himself out of combat, with no option to reform! Disaster!

2 The regular Boyz charge

REFORM

Steve’s Big’Uns in the flank, only to have them hold and reform!

3 None shall be spared, as Steve’s last block unit, this time the Black Orcs, are also engaged by Ben’s larger units. They hold though thanks to the Crown of Command.

CHARGE!

TURN 5 STEVE 1 Come on, lads, you can make it! The Spider Riders make a final dash for the Rock Lobba.

2 KABLAMO! The remnants 2

3 FLEE

4 1

of the Night Goblins and Warboss are broken and run down, but during pursuit Ben’s Pump Wagon got a bit overexcited and is smashed to smithereens on the scree sloped hill.

3 The Big’Uns actually

manage to win combat, but Ben’s Orcs hold firm.

4 The Great Shaman and final Black Orc decide to leg it afterall, but outrun their pursuers.

and broke. The Boar Boyz restrained pursuit, espying the Big’Uns flank, while the Pump Wagon decided to “pump harder” and zoom after the orc general. They pumped so hard, in fact, that not only did they catch and kill the Warboss but they continued barrelling forwards until they struck the side of the scree slope, where the Pump Wagon failed its dangerous terrain test and exploded! Steve’s Big’Uns, meanwhile, provided a sterling effort against their slightly smaller brethren, felling seven for only two casualties in return, but the Orc Boyz had remained in their deep, many ranked formation so held on to their steadfast leadership. This turn also saw the Great Shaman and his lone Black Orc buddy turn and break from combat – the Battle Standard Bearer proved just out of range after his combat reform – and although they outran their pursuers it was Ben’s turn next and there was an inviting table edge nearby...

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Turn 6 With possibly the most obvious charges in the world to make, Ben set about finishing off the last few stragglers of the Slick Slashers tribe. The Boar Boyz charged the Big’Uns in one flank, while the untouched Black Orc regiment had obviously got bored of their etcha-sketches and PSPs and charged the other. Now that’s what I call an Orc sandwich! The Orc Boyz also charged the fleeing Great Shaman and Black Orc, but amazingly they managed to escape by 1”! The table edge beckoned, and Steve would need to roll double 1 to rally them in the last turn, but that was better than no chance at all. With cunning use of a suave swift reform Ben managed to get his Night Goblin Shaman in range of the last few Spider Riders, who had finally managed to get within charge range of the Rock Lobber. The Night Goblin Shaman, his confidence obviously boosted by virtue of being the only non-fleeing wizard left on the table, unleashed a Vindictive Gaze which withered the last few Spider Riders where they were. Poor lads never stood a chance against the Shaman’s patented Blue Steel technique. The combat went as one might expect: horrifically brief and brutal. Steve’s Battle Standard Bearer was cut in half by Ben’s Black Orc hero, while the Boar Boyz and Black Orcs managed to kill seven Big’Uns between them. Despite a stellar six kills in return the Big’Uns day was done, and they broke and were cut down where they stood. This left Steve with precisely two models left on the board: the fleeing Great Shaman and his Black Orc compadré. And so Steve’s last turn boiled down to whether or not he could roll Insane Courage to rally them..... As it turned out, he could not.

TURN 6 BEN 1 The Spider Riders don’t

make it, vaporised at the last minute by a Vindictive Glare from the Night Goblin Shaman.

CHARGE!

2 Black Orcs and Boar Boyz 2 CHARGE!

join the central scrap, resulting in many, many dead Big’Uns. All of them, in fact.

3 Somewhere, deep in the woods, a squirrel finds an acorn and is rather pleased with himself. The end.

1 3 CHARGE! REFORM

Unseen Lerker

Patience is a virtue Ben: Well, where to start? As my partner in crime Ben Curry would say: “I was awesome.” Seriously though, I think this was a pretty good example of a solid plan coming to fruition over the course of six turns with no real scuppering by the dice. My strategy of concentrating on killing the biggest threat to my army followed by whittling the enemy blocks down to manageable sizes worked perfectly. In my experience this is a very effective way to win games in 8th edition: often it can be impossible to deal with the enemy’s “Death Star” unit in one go, but with a bit of whittling away and some judicious suicidal sacrifices it’s possible to deal with pretty much any threat. Attrition, attrition, attrition; that’s all I can say. I felt about four seconds of guilt killing Steve’s Arachnarok the way I did. He’d done a lovely job painting it up over the two weeks preceding our game and having Gork stamp it to death before it moved felt a little bit cheeky! That said I was always quite confident in taking it out, as with the biggest base in the game it’s very difficult to miss with template weapons and artillery. I don’t think it would have lasted more than a few turns regardless, angry tap-dancing deities or not. Steve’s forces seemed to dither a bit after the big gribbly went down, which I don’t really think he had the option to do. At that stage I think his best bet was to run at me and hope the dice edged his way in the inevitable mirror match fights. Still, it was a fun match and it was good to finally get a game in against Steve. And even better than winning? Now I can tell people my army has been in the Warhammer rulebook AND Unseen Lerker. Now that’s a result!

Splattered Steve: Well, let’s be honest...that did not go exactly as planned! I didn’t enter the game with too much false hope. After all I know Ben is an excellent all round general and arguably the best Orc and Goblin player in the country, and my record is not exactly stellar. However I did think that I had a list to compete in the game. I knew the spider would be getting some special attention, but seeing 300 points get stomped to death in the first turn was disappointing to say the least. It also left my left flank horribly exposed and meant Ben was well up in the game without really having to work for it. And after raving about it in the intro, the eight wounds did not help at all (sad face)! After that the Big‘Un unit took the full force of Ben’s magic and shooting, and when the Pump Wagon went into the side of the Night Goblins and rolled twelve impact hits I nearly cried. Some things did go my way. The Orc magic was strong, with the Orc Great Shaman absolutely proving his worth and sniping Ben’s Great Shaman later in the game. Had it happened a couple of turns earlier when my ‘Eadbutt hit failed to wound it may have opened up a few more options, but the points were still welcome. The other positive was the Black Orc Warboss, who enjoyed himself immensely bashing away with his axe. Once again though, my own inexperience cost me as he killed too many Boar Boys and ended up out of combat. And because of the larger base size he could not move through his Goblin bodyguards who ended up as free combat res, which eventually broke the general. Overall I did learn a lot. In-game the Orc army really does not fight like it does in the fluff. They are not the ferocious combat monsters that they are portrayed as in the Army Book. The low leadership and lack of armour means that you tend to die a lot faster than you think, and most armies are not concerned with the T4 troops. Orcs’ low Initiative means you are always playing catch-up in a battle too. It’s taken a while to get my head round, but the ideal way to play is to sit back, use your effective magic and shooting along with cheap high impact units like chariots and Manglers to do damage to your opponent’s blocks, and then send the boyz in later when they have the advantage of numbers. Ben’s more defensive build and playstyle (not to mention the uncharacteristically high value he puts on each orc’s life!) meant that he had the upper hand throughout the game, and it was reflected in the final outcome. Next time though, I’m thinking TWO big spiders! Let’s see you deal with that in turn one, Mr Johnson…

Result Bashin’ Boyz: 2695 VP Slick Slashers: 678 VP

Win to the…uh… Orcs!

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Army Showcase: Duet! With Steve and Benâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s armies being so luverly, many of you are no doubt squinting at the photos in the battle report to try and get a better look. Well, save your eyes, because here are some close-ups! (PS: Benâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s are the snowy ones...)

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THE TEST DUMMIES

Lord of the Rings, the Card Game Producer: Fantasy Flight Games | No. of players: 1-4 Type of game: Living Card Game “The Lord of the Rings:The Card Game is a cooperative card game that puts 1-2 players (or up to 4 with 2 Core Sets) in control of the most powerful characters and artifacts of Middle-earth. Players will select heroes, gather allies, acquire artifacts, and coordinate their efforts to face Middle-earth’s most dangerous fiends. By cooperating to overcome the obstacles drawn from the encounter deck, you will complete the quest before you and claim victory!”

OG Games, official sponsor of the Test Dummies

Dummy #1: Dan Comeau I’ve mentioned my lack of interest in Living/Collectable card games in previous issues, so must admit to a lack of enthusiasm when presented with this latest review. Which I suppose is why I was so pleasantly surprised! I’ve raved about them before, but Fantasy Flight do just make the best stuff. High quality cards and tokens, and loads of them – as usual, my little face lit up upon opening the box. The decks of cards are to the usual high card stock standard and the artwork really captures the Tolkien universe without being a direct copy from the well known look of the films. My favourite components are the Threat Trackers; I’ve always been a fan of the dials and trackers FF incorporate into their games. The rules booklet is set out in typical Fantasy Flight fashion – unlike their usual streamlined games though this one can take some time getting used to; without playing through the game a few times it doesn’t necessarily make sense straight away! This leads nicely into playing the game - this is a cooperative game where players work together to journey through various locations to achieve a final goal (depending on which scenario you play). Although the game can be expanded to 3-4 players with the purchase of a second core set, I felt it was best suited when it was just the two us versus the Game (capitalised to emphasise its evilness). I was worried about limited gameplay at first, with only three scenarios in the core rulebook, but quickly discovered that with judicious shuffling of the ‘Encounter Deck’ no two games should ever be the same. These encounter cards reveal various different obstacles to the players, and essentially keep the game flowing. These cards are drawn each turn and placed in the central play area – very similar to Space Hulk: Death Angel (reviewed in UL issue 9). The two most common encounters you, er, encounter, are monsters (which you have to kill) and locations (which you have to travel to).

Before you can begin play, you need to build your player decks. These consist of three heroes, and a deck from which you play allies, powers and other various tricks to aid your mission – the core set comes with suggested deck builds, but after one or two play-throughs I’m sure you’ll hit upon some desired ‘modifications’ like we did. During your turn you have to make decisions for each of your heroes, which essentially boils down to having them go questing (to generate resources and progress the game), or hold them back to defend (where they get the bash up monsters). Combat is a simple affair; all of the cards have the obligatory statline, and it’s just a matter of comparing your Attack stat to their Defence stat, and they take the difference in damage. Returning to the encounter cards, this is where the urgency of the game really comes into effect. It’s important to keep the central play area clear of encounters as much as you can, either by questing to locations or bashing up monsters. The more you let it get out of control, the more the Threat Dial increases, which leads to more monsters attacking you, and eventually the Eye of Sauron simply stares at you hard enough and you catch fire. Er, lose. Still, at least it’s not like Jumanji, where if the game starts winning a rampaging rhinoceros suddenly crashes through the wall! There are various other elements to the game (travelling, traps, temptations of mushrooms...) which add extra dimensions and ensure the game doesn’t become stale. I can’t think that we were ever bored when playtesting this game. Overall, I am a fan of this one and would recommend it to any player – even those like myself who are not a fan of card games. The lifespan (replay value) is the most impressive thing for me. Often games where you ‘play against the game’ get dull very quickly as you figure out the best way to succeed and then just rinse and repeat from there, but this one is different I feel. Not to mention that Fantasy Flight has already released an army (worthy of Mordor) of new scenarios and cards to expand on the core set. If I had one criticism, it would be the price - £29.99 RRP seems quite steep for a card game, but I would be happy to overlook that as the replay value makes up for this.

Unseen Lerker

As always we’ll be giving away a copy of the game we’re reviewing (all our subscribers are automatically entered into the draw, so subscribe today for your chance to win!), but if you can’t wait and want to pick up a copy of the game for yourself head over to the Test Dummies’ official sponsor: www.oggames.co.uk

Dummy #2: Greg Dann Some of you may remember our review of Warhammer Invasion and the not so stellar opinions on the Living Card Game System...well, this month we have been handed another Fantasy Flight LCG.You may also remember our “meh” reviews of the co-op Space Hulk card game and yes, that’s right, this game is also a co-op or single player experience. Doesn’t bode too well does it! As usual the game looks good, the FF dials are stylised as Sauron’s Eye, there are plenty of counters and the cards are of a real quality all the way through. The rulebook is well laid out with a good description of how to set up the first game and a really useful breakdown of the turn sequence with delineation between phases and what can be done where. The game itself is a storytelling vehicle: each mission has set stages that detail a mini story which you are trying to fight your way through; the bad guys and locations are also different depending on the mission being undertaken, which all adds to the narrative effect. The use of the Threat Dial feeds in here as well as not only a timer for the game, forcing you to keep pushing and stopping the game from becoming stale, but also represents the evil gaze of Sauron as he searches for you. The players and cards are split into four spheres with their own characteristics and each led by three heroes that you should know from the stories of Middle Earth (Only ever watched the films? No idea who Glorfindel is? Watch out – he is a bad mofo). These heroes are, as you’d expect, the focal point of the game and act as the fulcrum around which the rest of your deck is built and operates. As with most cards games of this ilk the building of the deck pre-game is a major aspect and LoTR really makes you think; getting the right combination of cards is made more important by the fact you have to build up resources (the heroes each generate one resource per turn), which you need in order to play cards from your hand or use your heroes’ uber abilities.

The game is tough. I’ve mentioned in previous reviews that games where you ‘fight the game’ are typically skewed in the game’s favour, but this one noticeably bites back! Dan and I tried a few things to see how the game works – if you make a really dumb move then the game throws you back hard, and then laughs as you try to scramble your way back into contention. When the game gets on top you really feel the pressure. At the same time I did not find this frustrating as much as tense; with cards in your hand you feel that there’s always something you can do about it – you might be hoping on a card to come out, but those ‘Maverick’ moments are just that much sweeter when you nail it. The game is an LCG and so releases come out regularly with new cards for your decks but also with another mission that is very much set in the LoTR ‘verse. The fact that you know exactly what is contained in each expansion is the whole reason Living Card Games are better than Collectable Card Games for me. In CCGs you constantly have to keep up with the new releases to not be left behind in the arms race, but with this one for instance if I see a new expansion whose story arc I don’t find particularly interesting (I don’t have much interest in chasing Gollum over nineteen leagues of mountain range) then I’ll just wait a few weeks for the next expansion. Overall I think you are looking at a game that can be played regularly, which will challenge you consistently, and if you don’t get to play regularly, one that can be kept on the shelf and brought out every now and then to provide a bit of fun. Finally, a note on safety: if you don’t know who Glorfindel is, you had better go and read up on him. Before he rips your face off.

Issue 9

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UNSEEN LERKER… IS HIRING!

We’re looking for an Editorial Assistant to help take new issues of the magazine from concept to creation. Opportunities will include planning and gathering content, proofreading, working with our graphic designer and artists to help co-ordinate the layout of the magazine, taking Unseen Lerker into the digital age, and occasionally making the editor a nice cup of tea. Two sugars, ta. As with everyone involved in the magazine the work is pro bono initially but with many short-term benefits and great long-term prospects to boot. Email bobo@unseenlerker.com to register your interest or for more information. We value enthusiasm just as much as experience, so don’t be afraid to apply! Applications close 22nd of July.

Bad Dice is the UK’s first Warhammer Podcast and is hosted by Ben Curry and Ben Johnson. Bad Dice is dedicated to bringing you news and reviews from the UK Tournament scene with an emphasis on events taking place around the country and even around the world.

www.baddice.co.uk

Twice a month, your hosts David Witek and Christopher Barnette bring you a new podcast with all the latest reviews, tips, tactics and battle reports for your favorite tabletop wargame, Warhammer!

HeelanHammer is a podcast devoted to Warhammer Fantasy and aims to cover all aspects of the hobby, from club to tournament gaming, from book reviews to painting models everything!

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Unseen Lerker

Don’t forget to check out Unseen Lerker issue 10, which will contain...

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Christopher Bell’s Sacred Host of Xaxlachaq! Lergy the Lerker models unveiled! WHFB...without magic?? ...and probably some stuff about those new Tomb Kings blokes.

Got feedback on the mag? Well we’re listening. Email your suggestions to editor@unseenlerker.com We promise not to send the flying monkeys after you. www.unseenlerker.com