Dedicated to my little fish Oswald 18 January 2015 - 18 July 2015
There is only one now But I still pinch the same number of pellets Into the water Because I am resistant to change
I close my eyes and let the boat rock me Back and forth Listening only to the faint ticks of things in cabinets drifting There is a brief moment of weightlessness waiting for you If you lay yourself completely limp ((And at the mercy of the waves)) It is also the most pleasant way to achieve sea sickness Which I suppose is the ultimate subordination It really is a nice way to blow chunks With your head over the side Staring into the smiling sea That giggles at ur nativity And bathes in ur regurgitated mess I much prefer it to the bathroom sink Whose steel reflects ur out-turned stomach Or to the toilet bowl Which is demoralizing Even as a passed fish graveyard I would live out here forever Rocking But forever would be such a short time Because I cry each time I hook a fish
They say fish do not hurt They say their nervous systems are devolved That the receptors do not react in human ways With less intensity And less severity That they lack a particular portion of brain That nociception does not meet the standard of consciousness required to achieve pain But does the percentage of C-receptors Truly indicate a creature’s worthiness of empathy Does the absence of a specialized nerve pathway truly imply That my human response To the slicing Of a squirming being Is unjustified As it gasps for water And drowns in air Are my tears ill-considered My empathy misplaced My reasoning flawed That it has less will to live Or less right Because it is somehow evolutionarily able To disconnect physical pain from consciousness Humans are only jealous Because they suffer their whole lives And kill to spite the God That gave them only fire to burn their hands And I sit weeping Salty tears into a salty sea Over scaly bodies dumped overboard Still Remembering a little lifeless body Floating at the top of a tiny tank Wishing he only had the chance to sink to the bottom And lay still for just the moment
Oswald, I have dreams The sky is not made of clouds That there is no space beyond the blue No final frontier for human scavengers In my dreams It is a crystal sea Floating quietly above us Swimming with greater creatures That in their immense knowledge maintained balance In lieu of power It's remnant white crests crashing down Atop our humanistic world I dream there is no heaven For selfish beings Meeting their ends You are a king among our pathetic existences And I am happy to die at the end of my life having accomplished nothing more than ending a small piece of humanity But you, my dear Have lived a time too short I cry to see the glass that held your fins I cry because you suffered in spite of my love And I know the freezer that holds your small, sick body and burned your golden scales holds no soul Swim to the greatest heights, my love And splash in the great skyward sea Think nothing of us I am sick You are free
Taylor Cooper @IAmTaylorNotYou iamtaylornotyou.tumblr.com iamtaylornotyou@gmail.com