Plugged-In Parent Newsletter (April 2015) by Immanuel Baptist Church

APRIL 2015

PLUGGED IN A MONTHLY PUBLICATIONTO HELP PARENTS BETTER PLUG INTOTHE SPIRITUAL DEVELOPMENT OFTHEIR STUDENT

April Issue THIS MONTH

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STUDENT TAKEOVER (THROUGHOUT APRIL)

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EASTER (4/5) IMPACT LITTLE ROCK (4/18) SE ASIA GO TRAINING 101 (4/19) 9TH GRADE GRILL-OUT @ THE HUBBARD’S (4/24)

COMING SOON

TURNING HEARTS THERE IS NO DOUBT THAT ALL PARENTS WANT WHAT IS BEST FOR THEIR CHILDREN, ESPECIALLY SPIRITUALLY SPEAKING. THE DISCONNECT OFTEN COMES IN REALIZING THAT WHAT IS BEST REQUIRES SIGNIFICANT INVESTMENT AND INTENTIONALITY FROM BOTH MOM AND DAD. THIS IS VERY INTIMIDATING FOR MOST PARENTS ESPECIALLY THOSE WHO NEVER EXPERIENCED THIS IN THEIR OWN HOMES GROWING UP. AS DR. RICHARD ROSS BROUGHT TO OUR ATTENTION A FEW WEEKS AGO, THIS IS A HEART ISSUE, NOT A HEAD ISSUE. WE KNOW WHAT IT TAKES, BUT OUR HEARTS ARE DEVOTED TO OTHER THINGS THAT ARE NOT NECESSARILY BAD, BUT THEY DISTRACT US FROM WHAT IS RIGHT AND BEST. THE LORD PROCLAIMS TO THE PROPHET MALACHI “AND HE WILL TURN THE HEARTS OF FATHERS TO THEIR CHILDREN AND THE HEARTS OF CHILDREN TO THEIR FATHERS, LEST I COME AND STRIKE THE LAND WITH A DECREE OF UTTER DESTRUCTION.” HAVE YOU COMMITTED TO TURNING YOUR HEART? IF YOU MISSED DR. ROSS’ MESSAGE CLICK HERE TO VIEW IT. A publication of IBC Student Ministr y.  www.ibclrstudents.org © 2015

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COLLIDE CAMP DEPOSIT DEADLINE: $70 (5/1)

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GRADUATE RECOGNITION SUNDAY (5/3)

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COLLIDE CAMP FINAL REGISTRATION DEADLINE: $210 (5/31…FULL PAYMENT REQUIRED AT REGISTRATION AFTER MAY 1)

HE A RT CONNE X COMPASSION FOR THE POOR

ENGAGE

SOMETHING NEW:   COLLIDE CAMP

EQUIP

HOW TO TALK TO BOYS… AND GET THEM TO TALK BACK

STUDENT MINISTRY STAFF

Matt Hubbard

Melissa Sponer

Ross Spigner

Amanda Beach

Lead Student Pastor

Girls Ministry Associate

Middle School Pastor

Ministry Assistant

FAVORITE MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL TEAM AND PLAYER:    ST. LOUIS CARDINALS AND OZZIE SMITH

FAVORITE MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL TEAM AND PLAYER:    ST. LOUIS CARDINALS AND YADIER MOLINA

FAVORITE MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL TEAM AND PLAYER:    BASEBALL?? AND LARRY BIRD

FAVORITE MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL TEAM AND PLAYER:    THE SANDLOT KIDS AND MICHAEL “SQUINTS” PALLEDOROUS

From Our Heart   I used to laugh and think it was funny when others would tell me, “enjoy your time with your kids because they grow up fast.” Now I believe it. It seems like yesterday when your children were learning the ropes as little kids, and the next thing you know they are asking for the car keys. This time of the year reminds us of how time goes by so quickly as we begin to celebrate those who will be graduating from high school. After graduation, the next several months will be a critical time for these “soon to be college freshmen.” As I have worked in Student Ministry and now College Ministry, I have noticed a pattern during first summer after graduation and freshmen year. These months will usually tell the story of what college will be like for that particular student. One of the critical steps as a student makes that transition, is being involved in a local church. For Immanuel families, it is my hope that their graduate will make a strong transition into our church’s college ministry. Whether or not they are leaving Little Rock for school this is vital! If they attend a school outside of Little Rock, they need to know they always have a place to get plugged back into when they come home. The only way they happens is when they get plugged in before they leave and look to jump back in when they come home.

As the college minister, I cannot express my joy for all the graduating seniors and what they have accomplished so far. I also want to express my passionate desire to see them continue on the right path. We hope that they will intentionally pursue becoming a dedicated follower of Christ! If you have any questions about the college ministry, please email me at brandon@ibclr.org. I look forward to journeying with your student through our Collegiate and Young Adult Ministry here at of Immanuel. A publication IBC Student Ministr y.  www.ibclrstudents.org © 2014

HEART CONNEX This is an excerpt on Compassion for the Poor in Heart Connex a FREE, weekly devotional for parents of teens by Dr. Richard Ross (Lifeway). 1. HE ART SURPR ISE (TODAY THE PARENT GOES FIR ST); ASK: WHAT ARE SOME ARE AS WHERE YOU ARE STRUGGLING TODAY? WHAT CAN I SAY OR DO THAT WILL ENCOUR AGE YOU IN THOSE ARE AS?

2. RE AD SCR IPTURE: IN VITE A FAMILY MEMBER TO PR AY. ASK FAMILY MEMBER S TO READ GALATIANS 2:9-10. DISCUSS THE TRUTH AND UNTRUTHS IN LIGHT OF THIS PASSAGE  TRUTH  - GOD E XPECTS US TO CARE ABOUT AND HELP THE POOR.  UNTRUTHS  - THE JOB OF HELPING THE POOR BELONGS TO THE GOVER NMENT.  - POOR PEOPLE ARE ALL LAZY.  - POOR PEOPLE ALWAYS TAK E ADVANTAGE OF THOSE WHO TRY TO HELP THEM.

3. E XPLORE SCR IPTURE: READ GALATIANS 2:9-10. E XPLAIN THAT WHILE THE JEWISH SY NAGOGUES COLLECTED A TA X TO HELP THE POOR, EAR LY CHR ISTIAN CHURCHES DID NOT. POINT OUT THAT MONEY COLLECTED BY THE GENTILE CHR ISTIANS FOR THE CHR ISTIANS IN JERUSALEM WAS A LOVE OFFER ING, NOT A TA X. EMPHASIZE THAT PAUL WAS EAGER TO HELP THE POOR.

4. THINK IT THROUGH: A TEENAGER WILL LEAD THIS STEP. 5. NAIL IT DOWN: E XPLAIN THAT TODAY ’S VER SES DESCR IBE AN AGREEMENT MADE BY THE LEADER S OF THE

E AR LY CHURCH AND THAT THIS AGREEMENT EMPHASIZED THE RESPONSIBILITY CHR ISTIANS HAD FOR HELPING THE POOR. SAY: ONE WAY FOR THIS FAMILY TO HELP THE POOR IS TO CHOOSE A SPECIFIC ACTION. FOR E X AMPLE, WE COULD GIVE MONEY TO FEED AN ORPHAN OR SERVE FOOD AT OUR LOCAL FOOD PANTRY OR OTHER COMMUNITY AGENCY. ENCOUR AGE FAMILY MEMBER S TO PR AY ABOUT THIS AND COMMIT TO CHOOSING AN ACTION AT YOUR NE XT DEVOTIONAL.

6. PR AY: A TEENAGER WILL LEAD THIS PR AYER. 7. BLESSING: SAY: TODAY, I THANK GOD FOR PROVIDING FOR US, AND I BLESS THIS FAMILY FOR CAR ING ABOUT THOSE LESS FORTUNATE THAN US.

PARENT TIP: A HEART CONNECTION IS THE PIPELINE THAT CONNECTS THE HE ARTS OF THE PARENT AND CHILD. THROUGH THAT PIPELINE SPIR ITUAL INFLUENCE FLOWS FROM GENER ATION TO THE NE XT. PARENTS WHO K EEP THAT CONNECTION WAR M AND STRONG USUALLY SEE EVIDENCE THAT THEIR FAITH AND VALUES ARE BEING PASSED TO THEIR CHILDREN.

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2015 / April

Easter

MS / HS worship/meal

SE Asia GO

training 101 @4pm

May 1

COMING SOON

May 3 May 3 May 17 June 7 June 7 June 14 June 15-19 July 12 July 13-17

MS / HS 16 worship/meal

The Gathering 5:45-7:30

IBC Scholarship Deadline (Seniors/ Returners ONLY)

Community Easter Egg Hunt

Impact Little Rock

9th Grade

24 Grill-out at the 25 Hubbard's

MS / HS 30 worship/meal

Collide Camp Deposit Deadline $70. All registration after May 1 requires full payment ($210) at registration (ends May 31). Senior Sunday Recognition New York GO training 101 @ 4pm SE Asia GO training 201 @ 4pm New York GO training 201 @ 4pm Commissioning for GO Trips SE Asia GO training 301 @ 4pm Collide Summer Camp New York GO training 301 @ 4pm Vacation Bible School

APRIL 2015 ENGAGE

SOMETHING NEW: COLLIDE CAMP I’m curious…how many of you can remember your days in the youth group? Many of you parents grew up in the Jesus Movement. In fact, I bet many of you gave your heart to Jesus back during those days.

In Southern Baptist life, those were the hey-days of youth ministry. Youth ministry was still a relatively new concept (circa late 1960s), contemporary Christian music became its own genre (thing back to Sandi Patti, the Imperials, Amy Grant, DC Talk, Keith Green, and even Stryper), and summer youth camps, for most youth ministries, was the highlight of their year!

Even in the 90’s during my days as a youth, youth camps were huge. Our church always went to Student Life Camp. I remember going to college campuses like Ouachita Baptist, Covenant College (Chattanooga), Louisiana Tech, etc. Our youth ministry would take 2-3 charter buses and 3+ vans from small town Magnolia, Arkansas to camp. Yes, we still did mission trips, DNOW, and other events, but camp was what we rallied around in getting our lost or unchurched friends to come with us.

Well, guess what, we’re bringing camp back to IBCLRStudents again. It has been a few years since our Middle School went

to camp and almost 6 since High School went.

I am so thankful for our church and our emphasis on missions both nationally and internationally. I am evermore grateful to our church for seeing that students are an integral, even necessary part of taking the Gospel to the ends of the earth TODAY! But let’s be honest, for many of our students (and maybe even you) it is much easier to take the Gospel to SE Asia or NYC rather than across the street or hallway. We WILL continue to mobilize students to the nations, but this summer we also feel led to focus some more of our attention on engaging the lost and unchurched peers that surround our students daily.

A few summers ago I was with our Middle

School students on our MS GO Trip to Mission Arlington. I think we had around 60 students (not including adults) with us that week. I remember seeing many “visiting” students with us during that week. In the weeks leading up to the trip, we trained students in sharing their story, leading Bible studies, etc. But when we got to the field, I began noticing that a few of these “visiting” students were more hesitant to share about Jesus not because they didn’t know what to say, but because they didn’t really know Him. For the most-part, they had faked it pretty well through training, but in reality they had either never truly committed their lives to Christ or were not growing in their faith.

I started to think about our student ministry programming, particularly during the summer, and it hit me that all we really oﬀered our students in the summer were mission trips such as this and maybe a few fellowship oriented things sprinkled throughout. There was really nothing during the summer for our students to invite lost or unchurched friends to…at least oﬀ the Hill.

Last summer we began discussions with our new Vanguard Team to see what they thought about doing our own camp. It has been increasingly diﬃcult to find a camp that really meets the needs of our student ministry, particularly with a group our size. It was evident through that team of students and adults that we should begin to pray more fervently and see what might be available in the realm of church camp

that would be good for our students to attend and to invite friends.

Enter Geyer Springs FBC…

Through the 501 Network and our Spring Dodgeball tournament at War Memorial, Ross and I got to know the student staﬀ at Geyer Springs. We heard that they had ventured out into trying their own student camp the previous summer and were curious to how that went. God began to really cultivate some soil in their student ministry and in the Bryant area where many students were both ready to engage the lost and many of the lost were ready to engage in a relationship with Christ. After

APRIL 2015 this conversation they invited us to consider coming on board with them.

The cost of the camp is $210 and you can register right now with a $70 nonrefundable deposit (until May 1) by clicking HERE. The rest of the balance is due May 31. If you register after May 1, you will need to pay the full amount at registration.

Collide Camp, as they called it, would be cost-eﬀective, customized to both of our student ministries, focused on engaging lost students connected to our churched students, challenge all students to better engage the lost when we return home, worship-filled, and you guessed it, FUN! Plus, on top of that, our students get to connect with other believing students from the Little Rock area who are in trenches together.

As with all of our events, please do NOT let finances be the reason that you, your student, or your student’s friend cannot attend. We have a very giving church and they love giving to our student ministry! We will make a way financially to help every student and family in need. Please contact ross@ibclr.org or matt@ibclr.org if finances may be an issue. We also know of Little Rock School District’s expanded schedule until June 15. We are currently working on plans to accommodate those students that might be aﬀected by these make-up snow days.

After much prayer and planning, we went all in. So, on June 15-19, our goal is to take 100 students and adults to East Texas Baptist University in Marshal, Texas to join with other local believers in worship, Bible Study, recreation, small groups, etc. There will be altogether, church-specific, and age-specific elements of the camp. All small groups/Bible studies will be churchspecific (led by and made up of just our church). All worship times will be altogether. All recreation and breakout times will be color-coded age-specific. The camp is for all students who have completed grades 6-12.

I would love to see at least 25% of the students who go with us to be invited by one of our students. Would you strongly consider encouraging your student to be a part of this new summer ministry endeavor focused on reaching their unchurched peers while also being challenged themselves to make much of Jesus in all walks of life? Maybe as a family begin forming a list of peers to pray for by name and invite to camp? What about you…would you pray about joining us for that week of camp?

Over Spring Break, our student staff joined the student staff of Geyer Springs for a site visit and camp planning time at East Texas Baptist University. We were very impressed with the location, the housing (click HERE to view a virtual tour), the recreation options, the staff, etc. We were even more impressed when they told us that we have the entire campus to ourselves that week.

If you have any questions, do not hesitate to contact any of your student ministry staﬀ. I am so excited about what God has in store for us not just as we take the Gospel all over the planet, but also across the streets and hallways right here in Central Arkansas. Would you lock arms with us?

Now stop and think back again with me. Think back to those days at summer youth camp. Think about all the first’s…jumping oﬀ a high-dive, sliding down the world’s longest slip-n-slide covered in baby oil, getting connected to that group of guys or girls that would become some of your best friends, that Isaiah 6 worship experience that forever changed your life, or maybe even meeting Jesus! Don't you want your student to experience similar if not better experiences? What about the peers of your students? What if you also joined us helping bring some of these experiences into reality? You and I know that these experiences are not fleeting, they are lifealtering and Kingdom-impacting.

BY MATT HUBBARD, LEAD STUDENT PASTOR

EQUIP

HOW TO TALK TO BOYS… AND GET THEM TO TALK BACK Having parented two girls into childhood and now adolescence, we’re still trying to wrap our heads around what it means to parent our son, suddenly a first-grader.

APRIL 2015 It’s not the same.

As much as I am not a huge proponent of focusing on lots of gender diﬀerences, there is no escaping the social reality of boys. It shapes them in profound ways. While we can’t protect or remove them from that shaping influence, learning about the structure of boy world (or refreshing ourselves, for those of us who were once boys) gives us a bit more of a compass for navigating these murky waters.

That’s where Rosalind Wiseman comes in. Having appreciated the insights from Queen Bees & Wannabes years back, I have had on my shelf for a while her latest, Masterminds & Wingmen: Helping our Boys Cope with Schoolyard Power, Locker-Room Tests, Girlfriends, and the New Rules of Boy World. Its title and size alone left me with a pit in my stomach. But I finally packed it on a trip and devoured the content during a couple of flights.

Wiseman not only parents two boys, but has researched Boy World on the ground through her cadre of over 200 middle school and high school advisors (plus a slate of parents). Their collective input delivers an impressive look into the ins and outs of boys’ actual reality in social contexts. Worth the price of the book alone is Wiseman’s description of the “Act-LikeA-Man Box” that most guys eventually resign themselves to inhabit. Similar to Michael Kimmel’s work on Guyland (see this article for an overview), there is a lot going on under the surface, and we need to be paying attention.

As a parent and a youth leader, I was struck by a few insights in particular about communicating with boys:

1. Boys want to connect, they often just don’t know how. Boys themselves attest to their need for parents and adults who are there for them, even though they may act like they could care less. So even when you get brushed oﬀ, don’t give up on connection. Don’t pull away permanently, even when he does temporarily. 2. Don’t interrogate. One of Wiseman’s boys shares, “The first thing my mom says to me every day after school is, ‘Tell me five things that happened at school today.’ Five. She exhausts me.” And of course when he can’t remember five things or isn’t in the mood to

unpack his day immediately, she feels like he’s hiding things and he gets annoyed. So what can we do? First, recognize that the school day can be completely exhausting when you figure in the combination of academics with complex social dynamics. Wiseman suggests,

“Your goal is to make the first few minutes stress-free. If you do this, he’ll be much more likely to tell you about how his day was on his own. Try asking no questions when you see him.”

After some time, invite him to share one high and one low. And be willing to share your own. Then leave him alone.

3. Try the night. Most boys respond best when they’re winding down later in the evening, or when they’re going to bed. Even though this means staying up later for older teens, it’s worth it to occasionally wait up and see if he’s more receptive to sharing a conversation.

4. Boys usually say, “I’m fine, don’t worry about it,” when they’re really feeling the complete opposite. They’re trained to shrug away concern and show calm detachment. Oﬀering a simple, “I’m here if you want to talk about it later” leaves a door open without forcing an interaction.

5. Oﬀer them your help, but also a pathway to another adult. There are things your son won’t want to tell you, but needs to tell someone. Most of the time that distinction needs to be made by him, not you. So how do you navigate all that while still making sure he’s getting adult help? Here’s a suggestion from Wiseman: “If --[whatever you’re wondering about] ever happens to you, you know you can talk to me. Or if you don’t want to talk to me, let’s think of someone that you would like to talk to.” Your son should have a few adult allies he can turn to that he knows will take him seriously and won’t break his trust by telling you.

6. Do something together. Boys often talk more freely when they’re sharing an activity—a sport you both like, going on

a hike, playing video games together, or doing something you know he’s interested in, whether you share the interest or not. Household chores can also become conversation starters when they’re shared rather than done individually. Stay away from phrases like, “Let’s spend time together,” or “I don’t see you enough anymore,” and instead oﬀer something like, “Do you want to go to lunch?” Wiseman suggests, “Lunch has a definite beginning and end. Plus, you’re feeding him.” Brilliant. Be careful about raising the pressure for every experience together to be about deep bonding. That’s likely to push him away.

7. Don’t say these two things. First, never, ever, ever call him a girl (or say he runs/hits/throws/anything else like a girl). Ever. Aside from the fact that it’s degrading to girls, you will lose every ounce of respect he has for you, and you’ll drain him of any personal dignity. Second, never say “I’ll take care of this,” or its many counterparts in response to a problem he’s facing. Taking over his battles will only cripple his ability to learn to face hard things, and will likely make him resent your control.

And one moreFaceb thing: Be prepared to be changed by what ook you hear. This is Wiseman’s definition of listening. If we’re actually paying attention to what our boys tell us, we have to be willing to change in response. Especially whenInstagr they come to us for help or when they pointam out something we do that drives them crazy.

Or he is seriously telling us how awesome that new videoTwitter game is, and we want to roll our eyes and dismiss it as brain-rot.

I don’t completely resonate with everything Wiseman suggests, and in a few cases I want to have diﬀerent or more direct conversations with my son about some of the issues raised when the time’s right. But the tips for talking are going to be invaluable as my son gets deeper into the boy world of older childhood and adolescence. Right now he wants to talk about everything. But that could all change.

What are your best tips for getting boys to talk? BY BRAD GRIFFIN,ASSOCIATE DIRECTOR OF FULLER YOUTH INSTITUTE

https:// ibclr.ccbchurch.com/ form_response.php?id=155

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