Plugged-In Parent Newsletter (August 2015) by Immanuel Baptist Church

AUGUST 2015

PLUGGED IN A MONTHLY PUBLICATIONTO HELP PARENTS BETTER PLUG INTOTHE SPIRITUAL DEVELOPMENT OFTHEIR STUDENT

August Issue THIS MONTH

A NEW PERSPECTIVE

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YOUTH EVANGELISM CONFERENCE (8/7-8)

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NEW 6TH GRADERS SWIM PARTY (8/8…6-8PM, WALNUT VALLEY)

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SUMMER GO SHARE SERVICE (8/9…6PM HORNE HALL)

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ADULT VOLUNTEER TRAINING (8/11)

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WEDNESDAY NIGHT KICKOFF (8/12)

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PROMOTION SUNDAY (8/16) HS DGROUPS/MS LEADERSHIP TRAINING BEGINS (8/16)

COMING SOON

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THE GATHERING (9/16) HS GUYS EVENT (10/17)

HE A RT CONNE X

YEP! ANOTHER SCHOOL YEAR IS UPON US. I’M SURE YOU’VE ALREADY GOT EVERYTHING YOUR TEEN NEEDS FOR SCHOOL, BUT CONSIDER LOOKING AT SOME COMMON SCHOOL SUPPLIES IN A NEW LIGHT THIS YEAR…

COMMITMENT TO THE LOCAL CHURCH

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SCHOOL CLOTHES: WILL YOUR TEEN BE CLOTHED WITH HUMILITY, MODESTY, AND THE RIGHTEOUSNESS OF CHRIST FOR ALL TO SEE?

THE INTERVIEW

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BACKPACKS: WILL YOUR TEEN NOT ONLY HIDE GOD’S WORD IN THEIR HEART, BUT ALSO CARRY IT WITH THEM AS THEY LOOK FOR OPPORTUNITIES TO SPEAK TRUTH AND LOVE INTO THE LIVES OF THEIR CLASSMATES?

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NECESSARY PAPERWORK: HAVE YOU RELEASED YOUR TEEN TO PURSUE GOD’S PURPOSE FOR HIS/HER LIFE THIS YEAR, EVEN IF IT MEANS NOT PLAYING IN ALL THE SPORTS, PARTICIPATING IN THEATER, OR OTHER publication of IBC Student EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITIES THATAMAY/MAY NOT HELP THEM Ministr GET A y.  www.ibclrstudents.org © 2015 COLLEGE SCHOLARSHIP?

TIAN LAM

ENGAGE

CUTTING YOUR TEEN’S SCREEN TIME

EQUIP

WHAT TEENS ARE REALLY SEARCHING FOR ONLINE

THE INTERVIEW | TIAN LAM What do you enjoy most about IBC Student Ministry? They have good sermons, worship songs, and stuff. Also, they have fun activities like Mission Little Rock and Collide Camp.

What role do your parents play in your life spiritually? My mom takes me to church and reminds me to read my devotional so I don’t forget. Sometimes my dad does the devotional with me.

What do you hope to have happen this year? Listen to God more and mature spiritually.

AGE: 12

MIDDLE SCHOOL: LISA ACADEMY

GRADE: 7TH

JOINED IMMANUEL: 2010

From Our Heart Now that the summer has come close to an end and I’ve had a chance to unpack my suitcase from all the trips we’ve been blessed to take our students on. I’ve been able to look back over the last month, the last trip in particular, to Astoria, Queens and really evaluate how that time impacted me spiritually as well as the students. For some, the idea of taking 25 plus, 9th and 10th graders to New York City seems downright crazy! And to be honest, it might be…but it’s a kind of crazy that I’m so grateful we are willing to try. To see those students being willing to say YES to whatever was asked of them, to serve in some uncomfortable capacities, to walk and walk and walk some more all the while never complaining, to be bold in sharing their faith, to see friendships built and strengthened and to see them try things that might have been out of their comfort zone. I learned a lot from our students that week. I’m forever grateful that the Lord has placed me in a position where I get the opportunity to serve alongside these students. While our ages may be far apart , our common denominator is that we love Christ so much that we are obedient to GO and share His love with others. After returning from our trip, there were lots of pictures being posted to social media of our adventures. My favorite part of looking over these pictures was that they had nothing to do with the “fun” things we did in the evening, but everything to do with the ministry they had the chance to be a part of. I’ll leave you with a quote from one of our students who just finished 9th grade… “While the buildings and sights were beautiful, it was really the people that made this trip such a great experience. This trip wasn’t about the free coffee we handed out or the trash we picked up, it was about the people we encountered while doing those things. The love of Jesus can shine through these small acts of kindness and pull people closer to Him. The people of Astoria have taught me to live intentionally and to love loudly, because if we don’t then who will? [Romans 10:14]” – Laurel Anne Harkins | 9th grader. What a blessing… A publication of IBC Student Ministr y.  www.ibclrstudents.org © 2015

HEART CONNEX This is an excerpt on Commitment to the Local Church in Heart Connex a FREE, weekly devotional for parents of teens by Dr. Richard Ross (Lifeway). 1. HE ART SURPR ISE (TODAY THE PARENT GOES FIR ST); SAY: IF GOD WILLS FOR YOU TO MAR RY, I WILL LOOK FORWAR D TO YOUR WEDDING WITH JOY. SOMETHING I WILL FEEL OR THINK THAT DAY WILL BE…

2. RE AD SCR IPTURE: IN VITE A FAMILY MEMBER TO PR AY. ASK FAMILY MEMBER S TO READ HEBREWS 10:2 4-25. DISCUSS THE TRUTH AND UNTRUTHS IN LIGHT OF THESE VER SES  TRUTH  - CHR IST E XPECTS BELIEVER S TO LIVE OUT THEIR LOVE AND DEVOTION TO HIM THROUGH THE LOCAL CHURCH.    UNTRUTHS  - I REALLY DON’T NEED A CHURCH SINCE I CAN WOR SHIP GOD ANY WHERE AT ANY TIME.  - MY LOCAL CHURCH WOULD PROBABLY BE BET TER OFF WITHOUT ME.  - CHURCHES ARE FILLED WITH HY POCR ITES, SO WHAT’S THE POINT OF GOING?

3. E XPLORE SCR IPTURE: READ ALOUD HEBREWS 10:2 4-25. TELL YOUR FAMILY THAT BIBLE SCHOLAR JOHN GILL IDENTIFIED THREE REASONS BELIEVER S WERE OBLIGATED TO WOR SHIP WITH A LOCAL CHURCH BODY:  - GOD COMMANDED IT, AND HE IS GLOR IFIED WHEN WE FOLLOW THROUGH.  - WE CAN ENCOUR AGE, TE ACH, AND SUPPORT OTHER BELIEVER S THROUGH WOR SHIP IN A LOCAL CHURCH.  - UNBELIEVER S CAN COME TO CHR IST BY WATCHING CHR ISTIANS PARTICIPATING IN GENUINE WOR SHIP TOGETHER.  DISCUSS HOW THESE THREE ELEMENTS FIT INTO YOUR FAMILY ’S WOR SHIP E XPER IENCES IN YOUR LOCAL CHURCH. DISCUSS HOW USING YOUR SPIR ITUAL GIFTS IN A LOCAL CHURCH CAN MAK E EACH OF THESE ELEMENTS A RE ALITY.

4. THINK IT THROUGH: A TEENAGER WILL LEAD THIS STEP 5. NAIL IT DOWN: SAY: AS YOU MOVE FROM OUR HOME INTO YOUNG ADULTHOOD, YOU WILL FIND MANY WHO SAY THEY WANT JESUS BUT NOT THE CHURCH. BUT THAT’S NOT RE ALLY POSSIBLE. YOU CAN’T OBEY CHR IST AND IGNORE THE CHURCH. YOU CAN’T REALLY CONNECT WITH HIM WITHOUT CONNECTING TO HIS BODY. ENCOUR AGE FAMILY MEMBER S TO EVALUATE THEIR AT TITUDES TOWAR D CHURCH AT TENDANCE AND TO FIGURE OUT WAYS THEY CAN GLOR IFY GOD, SUPPORT BELIEVER S, AND CHALLENGE UNBELIEVER S BY USING THEIR GIF TS IN THE CHURCH.

6. PR AY: A TEENAGER WILL LEAD THIS PR AYER. 7. BLESSING: SAY: I BLESS THIS FAMILY FOR E XPRESSING ITS LOVE AND DEVOTION TO JESUS THROUGH OUR COMMITMENT TO THE LOCAL CHURCH

PARENT TIP: AS A K INGDOM PARENT, YOU HAVE THE PR IVILEGE OF LE ADING YOUR FAMILY IN PER SONAL

WOR SHIP. IT’S TEMPTING TO THINK THAT THE ONLY WOR SHIP WE NEED OCCUR S AT CHURCH ON SUNDAY MOR NING. IF YOUR CHILDREN DON’T LE AR N TO WOR SHIP AT HOME, THOUGH, THEY WILL OF TEN FIND WOR SHIP ON SUNDAY A BOR ING INTRUSION INTO AN OTHERWISE E XCITING WEEK.

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2015 / August 1

YEC

Student GO Share Service

Youth Evangelism Conference

SS/DGroup Training 11 12 6:00PM (Fellowship Bible Church)

MS / HS 20 worship/meal

MS / HS 27 worship/meal

(6PM, Horne Hall)

Promotion Sunday

DGroup/MS

Student Worship Kickoff

Leadership Kickoff

COMING SOON

September 16 October 17 January 15-17

The Gathering HS Guys Event DNOW 2016

Youth Evangelism Conference

New 6th Graders Pool Party 6-8PM Walnut Valley Pool

AUGUST 2015 ENGAGE

HOW TO CUT YOUR TEEN’S SCREEN TIME? SAY NOT TO YOURSELF FIRST Parents are often at fault, directly or indirectly, when children and teenagers become hooked on electronic media, playing video games or sending texts many hours a day instead of interacting with the real world and the people in it. And as discussed in last week’s column, digital overload can impair a child’s social, emotional and intellectual growth.

teenagers it is not too late to set reasonable limits on screen time.

Dr. Steiner-Adair, author of “The Big Disconnect: Protecting Childhood and Family Relationships in the Digital Age,” cited two common parental behaviors that can strongly influence a child’s tendency to abuse electronic media. Some parents are perpetually tuned into their own devices, responding to every ping of their cellphones and tablets, receiving and sending messages at times that would enrage Miss Manners. Other parents fail to establish and enforce appropriate rules for media engagement by their children.

This sad conclusion of many experts in child development has prompted them to suggest ways parents can prevent or rectify the problem before undue damage occurs.

Young children learn by example, often copying the behavior of adults. I often see youngsters in strollers or on foot with a parent or caretaker who is chatting or texting on a cellphone instead of conversing with the

“There’s nothing about this that can’t be fixed,” said Catherine Steiner-Adair, a Harvard-aﬃliated psychologist. “And the sooner, the better.”

children in their charge. Dr. Steiner-Adair said parents should think twice before using a mobile device when with their children. She suggests parents check email before the children get up, while they are in school, or after they go to bed.

As Susan Stiffelman, a family therapist, put it in The Huffington Post, today’s parents are unprepared “to deal with the intense pull and highly addictive nature of what the online world has to offer. As parents, we have an opportunity to guide our kids so that they can learn habits that help them make use of the digital world, without being swallowed whole by it.”

Two experts at the Harvard School of Public Health, Steven Gortmaker and Kaley Skapinsky, oﬀer a free guide, “Outsmarting the Smart Screens: A Parent’s Guide to the Tools That Are Here to Help,” as well as healthy activities to pursue to counter the weight gain that can accompany excessive screen time. Young children should not have their own cellphones or televisions in their bedrooms, they say, adding that even with

One girl among the 1,000 children she interviewed in preparing her book said, “I feel like I’m just boring. I’m boring my dad because he will take any text, any call, any time, even on the ski lift.” A 4-year-old called her father’s smartphone a “stupid phone.”

Dr. Jenny S. Radesky, a pediatrician at Boston Medical Center who with two colleagues observed 55 groups of parents and children at fast-food restaurants, noted that 40 of the adults immediately took out mobile devices and used them throughout most of the meal. Often more attention was paid to the devices than to the children.

The researchers also found that when parents were absorbed in their own devices, the

children were more likely to act out, apparently in an attempt to get their parents’ attention.

Dr. Steiner-Adair is especially concerned about parental failure to pay full attention to their children “at critical times of the day, like when taking children to and from school. This should be a cell-free zone for everyone — no Bluetooth for parents or devices for the kids. The pickup from school is a very important transitional time for kids, a time for them to download their day. Parents shouldn’t be saying, ‘Wait a minute, I have to finish this call.’ ”

Likewise, she said, when parents come home from work, “they should walk in the door unplugged and use the first hour they’re home as time to reconnect with the family. Kids hate the phrase ‘just checking’ that parents frequently use to justify a very rude,

infuriating behavior.”

Nor should parents or children be using devices when the family dines out, the psychologist said. “The art of dining and the connection between delicious food and nourishing conversation is being lost, not just in restaurants but at home as well,” she said.

Dr. Steiner-Adair attributes a recent 20 percent increase in accidental injuries seen in pediatric emergency rooms to caretakers’ failure to pay full attention to those they are supposed to be watching, like infants and toddlers in the bathtub or children on the jungle gym. “Your reaction time and attention is not the same when you’re texting or talking on a cellphone,” she said.

Ms. Stiﬀelman, author of “Parenting With Presence,” realizes that attempts to change digital behavior can meet with resistance. But, she said, it is important to be fearless and decisive, and to avoid negotiations.

AUGUST 2015 “Acknowledge your kid’s upset without delivering long lectures about why they can’t have what they want,” she said. “Children grow into resilient adults by living through disappointment. It’s O.K. for your kids to be mad, bored or anxious about missing out on what their friends are up to online.”

She and other experts urge parents to establish device-free times of day, like the first hour after school and the hour before bed. Cellphones and tablets should not be allowed at the dinner table.

Ms. Stiﬀelman suggests parents “make time for real-life activities with your kids that let them know that they’re worth your time and undivided attention. Do things together that nourish your relationship.”

As for controlling the time children spend on digital media, the Harvard guide states emphatically that it is the parents’ responsibility: “Since the devices can be turned on anytime, you as a parent need to monitor their use, keep track of time, and then make sure the agreed upon rules are followed.”

According to a new study by Northwestern University, almost one-third of teens are using online resources to seek out information about health-related issues like dealing with depression, eating healthier and cutting back on their soda intake. Because there’s only so much Mountain Dew you can drink before you stop and say to yourself, “Hmmm, this looks like anti-freeze and might be destroying my insides.”

information, far outstripping all other media, such as books, television news, radio, and newspaper and magazine articles. Eighty-four percent of teens said they turned to the Internet for health information.”

For every factual, well-balanced article about the importance of sleep for teens, there are those that claim that tampons contain asbestos or that lipgloss causes cancer.

Even more reassuring: A very small number of teens—13 percent—indicated that they couldn’t talk to their parents about health

concerns and needed to turn to the Internet to find answers.

The national study—the first of its kind in more than a decade—also brings up the importance of making sure that the resources our teens are turning to are legitimate and the information they are finding is accurate. For every factual, well-balanced article about the importance of sleep for teens, there are those that claim that tampons contain asbestos or that lipgloss causes cancer. I even remember hearing one crazy rumor that eating red licorice could make you smarter, which is ridiculous since everyone knows only drinking more coﬀee can do that.

BY JANE E BRODY, WRITER, NEW YORK TIMES

EQUIP

WHAT TEENS ARE REALLY SEARCHING FOR ONLINE Face it. We’re all curious (and highly suspicious) about what our teens are using the Internet for. Personally, my biggest fears are porn, drug recipes from “Breaking Bad” and some sort of portal where they could link my credit card to their Forever 21 account. But I’m a little relieved to see that current research is showing that more teens are using the Internet to improve their health habits. Who knew?

But the report also highlights the importance of good old-fashioned human interaction when it comes to making sure your teens have the right information. The Washington Post points out that teens still look to their parents first when they have health concerns, followed by doctors and nurses:

“Parents remain by far the leading source of health information, with 55 percent of teens surveyed saying they got 'a lot’ of health information from parents, followed by health classes in school and doctors and nurses. But the Internet is the fourth-largest source of health

As for which health topics teens are specifically looking for, it breaks down like this:

• • • •

• •

Fitness and exercise (42 percent)

Diet and nutrition (36 percent)

Stress or anxiety (19 percent)

Sexually transmitted diseases (18 percent)

Puberty (18 percent)

Depression or other mental health issues (16 percent)

Another important thing the study reminds us to educate our teens about is the diﬀerence between factual content and advertising. Half of the teens surveyed said they click on the first link that comes up, which is usually a sponsored link. I’m going to keep this in mind, since while I really enjoy a good hot dog now and then, I certainly don’t want Oscar Meyer doling out healthy eating advice to my kid.

The bottom line is, amidst all of our concerns that our teens are only using the Internet for evil, it can also be a great resource Instagrafor them to seek out answers to some issues that are m time they’re part of their world. So the next ignoring you and burying their face in their phone, relax—they might just be looking for kale recipes.

BY MARCHA TAKEDA-MORRISON,YAHOOPARENTING

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