Plugged-In Parent Newsletter (December 2015) by Immanuel Baptist Church

DECEMBER 2015

PLUGGED IN A MONTHLY PUBLICATIONTO HELP PARENTS BETTER PLUG INTO THE SPIRITUAL DEVELOPMENT OFTHEIR STUDENT

December Issue THIS MONTH

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THE GATHERING (12/2)

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GIRLS MINISTRY WOOD ART (12/12)

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ACTEENS (12/13)

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SS CHRISTMAS PARTIES (TBD)

BIG DAY (12/6) CHAMPIONS FOOTBALL BANQUET (12/7)

CHRISTMAS EVE CANDLELIGHT SERVICE (12/24)

COMING SOON

REASON FOR THE SEASON /

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DNOW (1/15-17)

HE A RT CONNE X FULLY GOD, FULLY HUMAN

THE STATEMENT MAY HAVE BECOME CLICHE, BUT IT CONTINUES TO BE TRUTH. THIS CHRISTMAS MAKE EVERY EFFORT TO COMMUNICATE TO YOUR FAMILY WHAT THE REAL REASON FOR THE SEASON IS. IN ALL THE HUSTLE AND BUSTLE, MAKE IT A PRIORITY TO…

THE INTERVIEW

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MAKE MUCH OF JESUS…DON’T ASSUME THAT EVEN YOUR OWN FAMILY KNOWS THE REAL REASON FOR THE SEASON. CLEARLY COMMUNICATE THAT JESUS IS WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT.

THEME: BY DESIGN

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SPEND TIME WITH YOUR FAMILY…IF YOU PLAN ON TAKING SOME DAYS OFF FROM WORK, SPEND THEM WITH YOUR FAMILY. DON’T JUST BE IN THE SAME HOUSE WITH THEM DOING YOUR THING, BUT ENGAGE WITH THEM, DIALOGUE WITH THEM, PLAY A BOARD GAME, WORK ON A PUZZLE.

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READ THE CHRISTMAS STORY…NO, NOT THE SCRIPT INVOLVING THE REDRYDER BB GUN. OPEN UP GOD’S WORD AND READ ABOUT THE BIRTH OF A publication CHRIST EVEN BEFORE DIVIDING UP AND OPENING GIFTS. of IBC Student Ministr y.  www.ibclrstudents.org © 2015

SHELBY PFEIFFER

DNOW 2016

ENGAGE

LOFTY PARENTAL ASPIRATIONS HURT CHILD’S PERFORMANCE

EMPOWER

5 REASONS TO KEEP YOUR TEEN INVOLVED IN YOUTH

THE INTERVIEW | SHELBY PFEIFFER What is your most memorable family Christmas moment? My most memorable family Christmas moment is more of a tradition. We do it every Christmas and it is something I will always remember. When my family goes to my grandparents house on Christmas Eve, my grandfather always reads the Christmas story to us. He says he never wants us to forget what Christmas is really all about.

How do your parents focus your family on Jesus during Christmas? We always make sure that we are not making our Christmas revolve around presents and decorations, but that we always remember what Christmas is about and why it is important.

What is one thing you hope God does over the holiday season? I hope He brings His word to people who are lost, through the Christmas story and helps some of my friends that say that they are Christian but don’t act like it.

AGE: 13

SCHOOL: LR CHRISTIAN ACADEMY

GRADE: 8TH

JOINED IMMANUEL: 2005

From Our Heart

I’m Danny Hinton. I’m sure I’ve seen most of you around church. After nine years working with teenagers, my family moved to Little Rock to run a branch of Downline Ministries about four years ago. During our time at IBC, we have been impressed by our church’s teenagers and their passion for Christ. I am thrilled to have been asked to serve as this year’s speaker for D-Now.

A few years back, I had the opportunity to survey some students in a public school. The survey was 20 questions long, but I was only interested in a couple of the answers. In Question 6, I asked students to agree, disagree, or remain neutral on the following statement: “Personal trust in Jesus Christ is the only way to heaven.” Of over 100 participants, 86% of respondents agreed. That’s a shockingly high number for a public school, even in the South. We might even take that as a win for sound doctrine, for clear preaching, and for the preservation of the perceived “Christian South” in which we live. However, the response to a different question tells us even more. In Question 14 I asked students to agree, disagree, or remain neutral on the following statement: “There is no true right or wrong. What’s true for you is true for you, and what’s true for me is true for me.” Over 60% of participants agreed with this statement. Even if we’ve been faithful to teach our children “right beliefs”, if we have not helped our kids understand the shifting tides of the worldview of our culture, they, like frogs in the kettle, begin to unknowingly absorb the prevailing beliefs of the day. This is precisely why we should be thrilled about this year’s D-Now: By Design—Biblical Manhood & Womanhood. We are set to explore what the Bible says about how God uniquely designed each of us. Contrary to what culture espouses, God has given us our gender purposefully and wonderfully in order to show His greatness and his glory. This is why I am pumped to follow the lead of our outstanding student ministry staff by taking a weekend apart to place our students’ feet on the solid ground of Scripture during this shifty time in our country’s history.

As you all know, over the years countless students have pointed to a D-Now experience as a turning point in their faith. So, let’s get excited, rally our teenagers and their friends and join in prayer for this powerful weekend ahead of us. Let’s pray for a next generation of Christ-followers to be firmly rooted in their God-given identity. A publication of IBC Student Ministr y.  www.ibclrstudents.org © 2015

HEART CONNEX This is an excerpt on Fully God, Fully Human in Heart Connex a FREE, weekly devotional for parents of teens by Dr. Richard Ross (Lifeway). 1. HEART SURPR ISE (TODAY A TEENAGER GOES FIR ST): WHEN IT’S YOUR TUR N, SAY: WHEN I HEAR YOU TALK ABOUT THE POSITIVE THINGS YOU’LL REMEMBER GROWING UP IN OUR HOME, IT MAK ES ME FEEL… 2. READ SCR IPTURE: IN VITE A FAMILY MEMBER TO PR AY. ASK FAMILY MEMBER S TO RE AD JOHN 1:1; PHILIPPINES 2:5-8; AND HEBREWS 2:17. DISCUSS THE TRUTH AND UNTRUTHS IN LIGHT OF THESE PASSAGES  TRUTH  - JESUS ALWAYS HAS BEEN AND ALWAYS WILL BE F ULLY GOD, BUT BECAUSE HE CAME TO EARTH AS A MAN, JESUS IS ALSO F ULLY HUMAN.    UNTRUTHS  - JESUS MAY HAVE BEEN A GOOD MAN, BUT HE WASN’T GOD.  - JESUS MAY HAVE BEEN A SUPER NATUR AL BEING, BUT HE WASN’T HUMAN LIK E US.  - THE STORY OF JESUS COMING AS GOD IN FLESH IS RELIGIOUS MYTH. 3. E XPLORE SCR IPTURE: RE AD ALOUD JOHN 1:1. TELL YOUR FAMILY THAT “THE WOR D” WAS JOHN’S TITLE FOR JESUS. SAY: AS A MEMBER OF THE TR INITY, THE WOR D (JESUS) HAS BEEN WITH GOD EVEN BEFORE THERE WAS TIME. AT THE SAME TIME, HE IS GOD. HE ALWAYS HAS BEEN AND ALWAYS WILL BE F ULLY DIVINE. RE AD PHILIPPINES 2:5-8. NOTE THAT VAR IOUS TR ANSLATIONS SAY THAT JESUS LIVED ON EARTH AS A MAN. SAY THE OR IGINAL GREEK AFFIR MS THAT JESUS IS F ULLY HUMAN. ENCOUR AGE A FAMILY MEMBER TO READ HEBREWS 2:17 ALOUD. SAY: BECAUSE HE IS COMPLETELY HUMAN, HE E XPER IENCED ALL THE PHYSICAL SITUATIONS WE E XPER IENCE; HUNGER, THIR ST, WEAR INESS, PAIN, GR IEF, SOR ROW, TEMPTATION, AND DE ATH. BECAUSE HE IS F ULLY GOD, HE DEFEATED SIN ON THE CROSS, ROSE FROM THE DEAD, AND GIVES US HOPE AND PURPOSE FOR THE F UTURE. 4. THINK IT THROUGH: A TEENAGER WILL LEAD THIS STEP 5. NAIL IT DOWN: AS FAMILY MEMBER S TO SILENTLY CONSIDER THIS QUESTION; WHY DID ONE WHO DIED FOR OUR SINS HAVE TO BE 100 PERCENT HUMAN AND 100 PERCENT GOD? READ HEBREWS 2:17 ALOUD AGAIN. IF YOUR TR ANSLATION USES THE WOR D “PROPITIATION” E XPLAIN THAT IT MEANS THAT JESUS SATISFIED GOD’S ANGER AGAINST HUMAN SIN BY PAYING THE PENALTY WE DESERVED— DEATH. SAY: TO TAK E OUR PLACE AND SUFFER THE PENALTY OF SIN, JESUS HAD TO BE F ULLY HUMAN. TO DIE AS A SINLESS SACR IFICE, HE HAD TO BE F ULLY DIVINE. 6. PR AY: A TEENAGER WILL LEAD THIS PR AYER. 7. BLESSING: SAY: I BLESS THIS FAMILY FOR EMBR ACING AND FOLLOWING THE R ISEN CHR IST. PARENT TIP: WISE PARENTS DO NOT CR ITICALLY ABOUT MINISTER S AND CHURCH LE ADER S IN THE PRESENCE OF THEIR CHILDREN. SUCH CON VER SATIONS AND COMMENTS CAN DAMAGE THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN CHILDREN AND THEIR LEADER S, WHICH HINDER S SPIR ITUAL TR ANSFOR MATION.

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2015 / December

BIG Day 6

Be present 7 Invite a friend Give generously

Girls Ministry Event 12-2

Champion Football Banquet

The Gathering

MS / HS worship/ meal

No Wed Night Services

Candlelight Merry 24 Service 25 26 Christmas! 5pm - 6pm

No Wed Night Services

COMING SOON

January 15-17 March 6 June 11-15 June 24-July 2 July 16-22

DNOW

Last day

11 to pay $55 12 goes up to

for DNOW

$70

Building closed

Building closes at noon

DNOW Student GO Trip Info Meeting(s) Collide Camp (MS and HS) HS GO Trip (Ghana) HS GO Trip (San Diego)

WHAT WE ARE TEACHING ON WEDNESDAY NIGHTS DNOW 2016

THEME: BY DESIGN

DECEMBER 2015 Cooties. Butterflies. Crushes. Bae. Dating. Sex. Pornography. Courting. Marriage. Pregnancy. Kids. The lifecycle of oppositesex attraction. You remember that journey. Well, your teenager is on that same journey. The lingo may have changed, but meaning remains the same.

careers, or even those who have graduated high school. Biblical manhood/womanhood is the responsibility of all males/females who have a relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ, regardless of age or cognition. It is a journey, a battle even, not a switch. It takes blood, sweat, and tears and affects

Often parents take a reactive approach rather than proactive, as it regards to dating, sex, etc. We wait till the interest is there before we teach our kids about dating and marriage. We hope that sexual temptation never affects our teen, but when it does we will help them navigate those troubling times. We are reactive rather than proactive.

TOO HIGH PARENTAL ASPIRATIONS CAN HURT CHILD’S SCHOOL PERFORMANCE New research from the U.K. suggests parental ambitions can benefit or harm a child’s academic achievement. If a parents expectations are realistic, children tend to do better in school. However, if the goals are unrealistic, then the child may not perform well in school.

What if rather than reacting to the inevitable we begin now preparing for it. For most students, dating, marriage, kids, etc. are part of God’s unfolding plan for their lives. What if we begin now, in the formative years of their faith and worldview development, teaching our students now about dating, marriage, etc., but about God’s design for manhood and womanhood? I believe that one of the primary reasons why marriages fail, why churches become ineffective, why teens leave the church in college, why culture has lost its’ fear of God, etc. is because boys do not know how to become men and girls do not know how to become women.

“Our research revealed both positive and negative aspects of parents’ aspiration for their children’s academic performance. Although parental aspiration can help improve children’s academic performance, excessive parental aspiration can be poisonous,” said lead author Kou Murayama, Ph.D., of the University of Reading. The study was published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. Murayama and his colleagues analyzed data from a longitudinal study from 2002 to 2007 of 3,530 secondary school students (49.7 percent female) and their parents in Bavaria, Germany. The study assessed student math achievement as well as parental aspiration (how much they want their child to earn a particular grade) and expectation (how much they believe their child can achieve a certain grade) on an annual basis.

Rather than spending countless hours and who knows how much money trying to fix struggling marriages, what if we proactively taught students God’s design for manhood and womanhood long before dating was even on their radar or even allowed by you? This is exactly our focus with this year’s DNOW theme: BY DESIGN. We will be teaching students what biblical manhood and womanhood is and why it is so needed in today’s culture. We are currently writing highly customized curriculum for MS girls, MS guys, HS girls, and HS guys. This is not just a one-time event. This is the launchpad for our whole church emphasis on manhood, womanhood, and marriage coming this Spring. Authentic biblical manhood and womanhood is absent from our society, most of our churches, and many more of our homes, even the ‘churched’ ones. Biblical manhood/womanhood is NOT relegated just to those in dating or marriage relationships, or those with two kids, or those with mortgages and successful

ENGAGE

Researchers found that high parental aspiration led to increased academic achievement, but only when it did not overly exceed realistic expectation. When aspiration exceeded expectation, the children’s achievement decreased proportionately.

MARRIAGES, HOMES, and GENERATIONS to come! Would you begin now praying for DNOW and preparing your student, your family for what God has in store for us? BY MATT HUBBARD

To reinforce the results, the researchers attempted to replicate the main findings of the study using data from a two-year study of more than 12,000 U.S. students and their parents. The results were similar to the German study and provided further evidence that parents’ overly high aspirations are associated with worse academic performance by their kids.

DECEMBER 2015 Previous psychological research has found the association between aspiration and academic achievement, but this study highlights a caveat, said Murayama.

think, "My kid's just too busy for a night of hanging out with other teenagers, playing some goofy games and hearing another Bible lesson."

“Much of the previous literature conveyed a simple, straightforward message to parents: Aim high for your children and they will achieve more,” said Murayama. “In fact, getting parents to have higher hopes for their children has often been a goal of programs designed to improve academic performance in schools.”

Believe me when I say, I understand the temptation. As a parent of a teenager (who has tons of homework, plays football and is not yet old enough to drive) my wife and I are constantly under pressure to measure every event through the lenses of what matters most. And we have decided that youth group attendance must be a priority. Although we view ourselves as the primary spiritual influence of our kids, we also believe that a strong youth ministry plays a vital role in his overall spiritual development.

Investigators believe the study suggests that the focus of educational programs should not be on blindly increasing parental aspiration but on giving parents the information they need to develop realistic expectations. “Unrealistically high aspiration may hinder academic performance. Simply raising aspiration cannot be an effective solution to improve success in education,” says Murayama. BY RICK NAUERT, PHD. PSYCH CENTRAL

EMPOWER

5 REASONS YOU SHOULD KEEP YOUR TEEN INVOLVED IN YOUTH GROUP Dear Parents of Teenagers, Thanks for all you do to invest in the life of your teenager(s). You probably feel like an uber driver (ready to pick them up/drop them off when they call), coach (helping them perfect their sport), tutor (working with them on homework), guidance counsellor (preparing them for the future) and, sometimes, a jockey (pushing them to cross t h e fi n i s h l i n e . . . w i t h o u t a w h i p o f course!)...all wrapped up in one! That's why, with all the insane busyness of parenting a teen, it's easy to let youth group attendance slide off the grid. It's tempting to

With this as a backdrop here are 5 short, yet powerful, reasons you should encourage (make?) your teenager(s) go to youth group: 1. Teenagers need models and mentors. "O God, You have taught me from my youth, And I still declare Your wondrous deeds. And even when I am old and gray, O God, do not forsake me, Until I declare Your strength to this generation, Your power to all who are to come. " Psalm 71:17,18 In the Jewish culture it wasn't just parents that poured into the younger folks. Older men poured into younger men and older women poured into younger women (Titus 2:1-8.) Of course you as a parent are called to be the primary spiritual mentor of your own teenager but he/she also needs other godly adults! It's important for your son or daughter to see that this whole "Christianity thing" is more than just mom's and dad's belief system. They need to have models and mentors that reinforce all of the spiritual truth they are learning from you.

2. Teenagers need community. "And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good

deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching." Hebrews 10:24,25 In an age of bullying, gossip, slander and hatefulness (which can destroy a teenager's self-identity), young people need other young people who can lift them up, encourage them and challenge them in all the right ways. Youth group is also a place where teenagers can discover their spiritual gifting and begin to use it to serve others. This will help them have a heart to selflessly serve others for the rest of their lives! 3. Teenagers need mission. When Jesus challenged his most-likely teenaged disciples to "go and make disciples of all nations", he was tapping into the activist wiring of these young men. In the same way your teenager needs challenged with the mission to reach their peers with the good news of Jesus in a loving and contagious way. Youth group is a place where your teenager can invite their unbelieving friends to hear the gospel. But it's also a place where they can be equipped to share the good news of Jesus with their own peers (which will help them grow in their faith!) As your youth leader continues to build a Gospel Advancing ministry the message of Jesus will advance in them and through them. This process will accelerate the discIpleship process in the life of your teen in ways you could never imagine! 4. Teenagers need theology. "Then we will no longer be immature like children. We won’t be tossed and blown about by every wind of new teaching. We will not be influenced when people try to trick us with lies so clever they sound like the truth. Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church." Ephesians 4:14,15

DECEMBER 2015

Youth group is a place where teenagers can wrestle through the theology you've been teaching them (you've been teaching them right?) and have it reinforced in a powerful and personal way under the guidance of a youth leader who knows how to ask great questions and point teens to sound truth. This should result in your teenagers knowing and owning their faith on a deeper level. Youth groups and small groups should be a place where teenagers can ask tough questions and even share doubts and struggles with their beliefs without fear of rebuke. Skilled youth leaders can take questioning teens back to God's Word as the source of authority and help them process through all of the Biblical truth you are praying they grasp, believe and live out. Great youth groups build on the foundation that godly moms and dads have laid. And, for those teenagers who don't have believing parents, an effective youth ministry helps lay a solid foundation of Biblical truth for the rest of a teenager's life. 5. Teenagers need a safe place to confess and confide. “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed." James 5:16

Often teenagers who struggle with sin and temptation have nowhere to confess and confide. They feel trapped by their sins. But a healthy youth ministry can create a safe space for teenagers to open up and talk honestly about their struggles. Of course this doesn't mean they should confess every sin to everyone. But it does mean that they should have a handful of others who know their struggles and can pray for and encourage them to walk in victory over those sins. When my son came back from a youth retreat last year he had this opportunity. He opened up with a handful of others about some of his struggles and then he came back and opened up to me. After he confessed his struggles he told me that he felt a thousand pound weight had dropped off his back. Here's the thing, my son and I have a very strong and very open relationship. But there was something about his band of brother friends, under the leadership of a caring adult in a youth retreat type setting, that gave him the freedom to confess and confide. Skilled youth leaders know how to create a context of open and honest dialogue.

Teenagers who push their struggles down and never open up often struggle later on in life with addictive and destructive behavior. An effective youth ministry can help teenagers deal with these challenges now and prepare them to be victorious both now and later. Yes, I know that teen life is busy. But it would be a shame if our teenagers graduated from high school and were catapulted into "the real world" without every opportunity to know, live, share and own their faith. At the end of the day, our teenagers embracing and embodying the Christian faith is more important than sports and more important than academics. Getting them involved in a healthy, vibrant youth ministry is worth fitting into a crazy, busy schedule. And if it's not quite as healthy as you think it should be then why don't you volunteer and make it better? There's too much at stake for us to get this wrong. So let's get it right! BY GREG STIER, FOUNDER OF DARE2SHARE MINISTRIES.

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