Plugged-In Parent Newsletter (July 2015) by Immanuel Baptist Church

JULY 2015

PLUGGED IN A MONTHLY PUBLICATIONTO HELP PARENTS BETTER PLUG INTOTHE SPIRITUAL DEVELOPMENT OFTHEIR STUDENT

July Issue THIS MONTH

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VBS TRAINING OPTION #1 (7/8)

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MISSION LITTLE ROCK—MS ONLY (7/13-17)

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NYC GO TRIP (7/18-24)

VBS TRAINING OPTION #2 (7/12) VACATION BIBLE SCHOOL (7/13-17)

COMING SOON

UNPLUG

HAVE YOU EVER TAKEN THE TIME TO TRULY UNPLUG? HAVE YOU ENCOURAGED YOUR FAMILY TO THE SAME. RECENTLY WE REQUIRED THAT OUR STUDENTS TURN IN THEIR PHONES (OR NOT BRING THEM AT ALL) WHILE WE WERE AT CAMP…AND IT WAS AWESOME! CONSIDER DOING THESE SUGGESTIONS TO TRULY TAKE A BREAK FROM THE WORLD’S DISTRACTIONS…

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LET YOUR CELL PHONE RUN OUT OF BATTERY ON A WEEKEND AND KEEP IT THAT WAY!

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DEACTIVATE YOUR FACEBOOK FOR A SIGNIFICANT PERIOD OF TIME. ITS AMAZING THE RELIEF YOU HAVE IN NOT HAVING TO RESPOND TO EVERY MESSAGE OR NOTIFICATION.

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YOUTH EVANGELISM CONFERENCE (8/7-8)

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SUMMER GO SHARE SERVICE (8/9)

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WEDNESDAY NIGHT KICKOFF (8/12)

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PROMOTION SUNDAY (8/16)

HE A RT CONNE X REJECTING HURTFUL VOICES

THE INTERVIEW THOMAS GUINEE

EMPOWER

ITS NEVER TOO LATE TO PARENT

EQUIP

FOUR STEPS TO EQUIP YOUR TWEEN AGAINST BULLYING

THE INTERVIEW | THOMAS GUINEE What is the biggest strength of IBC Student Ministry? The greatest strength of our student ministry comes from what Matt has taught us from day one this is our student ministry. Under the authority and leadership of God, we—students—are responsible for the student ministry. Whether through developing new events or leading various activities such as Mission Arlington, Dodgeball, etc., we drive our student ministry to become what God desires it to be.

What kind of an impact have your parents made on your own spiritual development? Everything. My spiritual development started with my parents. They taught me not only God’s Word, but how to live it out. Through their actions they daily displayed Christ to me and my brother. My father has always made sure I have a consistent Bible Study and my mother has always helped me keep my anger in check and continually show God’s love to others.

How have you seen parents impact the spiritual lives of students other than their own children? Over the years, I have had the opportunity to hear from and sit under a variety of parents through Sunday School. The Crain’s, VanHemert’s, Hodge’s, and others have impacted me and others greatly. I still remember Mr. Greg Crain teaching me what it means to own my faith way back in 9th grade. Parents have always been an invaluable part of the life of our student ministry whether through chaperoning events, working behind the scenes at DNOW or on Wednesday nights, etc.

AGE: 19

HIGH SCHOOL: LITTLE ROCK CHRISTIAN

GRADE: GRAD

JOINED IMMANUEL: 2004

From Our Heart As I sit here in my hotel room on our SE Asia GO Trip, my thoughts go back to the many conversations that we have had this week. We have engaged dozens of people with the Good News of Christ. Though there are many differences between the people of this great country and the U.S., there is one great similarity—parents are still the number one influence in the lives of their children. This was never more evident than when I first visited a local Buddhist Pagoda (Temple) here in 2014. I noticed a grandmother, mother, and daughter moving from station to station around the temple offering sacrifices to appease their ancestors and other spirits. I remember at one station, the grandmother taking the lead, then the mother followed suit. In the background, this girl about the age of Jackson (4) began to watch and then mimic the exact motions of her mother and grandmother. I was once again reminded on this trip the power of parents. I was invited to coffee with a friend that I met on my last trip here. I thought a few students and myself would be meeting with just he and his son. When we arrived, 5 other families had joined us. While the couple of students that joined me shared with the kids ranging from 2-9th grades, I got to share with the parents. In order to open conversation, I often describe my profession as a teacher rather than a pastor. With these parents, I took it a step further and shared with them my real role—a recruiter, encourager, equipper of parents—the most effective teacher their child will ever have and the greatest subject they will ever learn—Jesus. Now don’t get me wrong, there is an absolute need for teachers through schools, etc. When Jackson gets old enough, there will be an absolute need for someone to teach him math, because his daddy surely did not excel in that subject. But in reality, as I told these SE Asian parents, there is no greater teacher in the lives of children than their parents. And there is no greater subject than that of Truth (Jesus/Bible) and Life (Discipleship). Parents, whether you realize it or not, you are the greatest teacher your child will ever know. Keep striving to teach and model the greatest subject ever imagined—King Jesus. A publication of IBC Student Ministr y.  www.ibclrstudents.org © 2014

HEART CONNEX This is an excerpt on Rejecting Hurtful Voices in Heart Connex a FREE, weekly devotional for parents of teens by Dr. Richard Ross (Lifeway). 1. HE ART SURPR ISE (TODAY THE PARENT GOES FIR ST); SAY: OUR LIVES FEEL THE IMPACT OF TR AGEDIES AND EVENTS AROUND THE WOR LD. AS A TEEN, ONE WOR LD EVENT THAT LEF T AN IMPACT ON MY LIFE WAS… THIS EVENT LEFT ME FEELING…

2. RE AD SCR IPTURE: IN VITE A FAMILY MEMBER TO PR AY. ASK FAMILY MEMBER S TO READ ECCLESIASTES 7:20-22. DISCUSS THE TRUTH AND UNTRUTHS IN LIGHT OF THESE VER SES  TRUTH  - GOD LOVES YOU AND EQUIPS YOU TO REJECT HURTF UL WOR DS.    UNTRUTHS  - GOD DOESN’T CARE ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE SAY ABOUT YOU.  - GOD DOESN’T HELP WHEN PEOPLE AT TACK WITH WOR DS.  - YOU HAVE TO GET EVEN WITH THOSE WHO SAY UGLY THINGS TO YOU.

3. E XPLORE SCR IPTURE: RE RE AD ECCLESIASTES 7:20-22. SHARE THAT IN THESE VER SES, SOLOMON GAVE

INSTRUCTIONS ABOUT HOW WE CAN LIVE A BALANCED LIFE. SAY: VER SE 20 REMINDS US THAT WE ALL MAK E MISTAK ES, WHILE VER SE 21 ENCOUR AGES US TO IGNORE WOR DS FROM THOSE WHO TRY TO HURT US. VER SE 22 REMINDS US THAT WE HAVE HURT OTHER S WITH WOR DS AT ONE TIME OR ANOTHER. E XPLAIN THAT THE HEBREW WOR D FOR CUR SE MEANS “TO MAK E LESS OR TO BEAT DOWN.” SAY: SOLOMON ENCOUR AGED US TO BE PATIENT WITH THOSE WHO TRY TO HURT US OR TE AR US DOWN WITH WOR DS. IN FACT, WE CAN SHOW OUR SPIR ITUAL MATUR ITY BY FOLLOWING JESUS’ E X AMPLE OF FORGIVING THOSE WHO SIN AGAINST US. REMIND FAMILY MEMBER S THAT GOD’S WOR D EQUIPS US TO IGNORE WHEN NECESSARY AND TO FORGIVE AT EVERY OPPORTUNITY.

4. THINK IT THROUGH: A TEENAGER WILL LEAD THIS STEP 5. NAIL IT DOWN: SAY: THINK OF ONE PER SON WHO HAS USED UGLY WOR DS TO MAK E LESS OF YOU OR SAID

THINGS THAT CAUSED YOU TO FEEL BE ATEN DOWN. THESE VER SES FREE YOU TO AVOID TAK ING THOSE WOR DS TOO SER IOUSLY AND TO FORGIVE THOSE WHO HAVE HURT YOU WITH WOR DS. YOU DON’T HAVE TO LET THEIR WOR DS HURT YOU. YOU HAVE GOD’S STRENGTH TO HELP YOU FORGIVE AS JESUS FORGAVE, SO BE QUICK TO IGNORE AND QUICK TO FORGIVE.

6. PR AY: A TEENAGER WILL LEAD THIS PR AYER. 7. BLESSING: SAY: MAY GOT BLESS YOU FOR IGNOR ING HURTF UL WOR DS AND FORGIVING THOSE WHO CUR SE YOU. PARENT TIP: SOME PARENTS CON VINCE THEMSELVES THAT THEIR LONG HOUR S AT WORK PROVIDE GOOD THINGS FOR THEIR CHILDREN. THE REAL ATTR ACTION, THOUGH, MAY REST IN THE EGO BOOST THEY GET FROM JOB SUCCESS. THAT BOOST HAS TO BE WEIGHED AGAINST THE HAR M THAT COMES TO CHILDREN WHEN A PARENT IS ABSENT TOO OFTEN.

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2015 / July 1

No Sunday night service

NYC GO Training 301 @ 4pm    VBS Training Option #2

NYC GO Trip

Vacation Bible School

14 Mission  Little Rock

NYC GO Trip

COMING SOON

no student worship Joint MS & HS meal/worship 5:45 - 7:15 VBS Training Option #1

NYC GO Trip

Happy 3

Vacation Bible School

16 Mission  Little Rock

Vacation Bible School

Mission  Little Rock

NYC GO Trip

Joint MS & HS meal/worship 5:45 - 7:15

August 7-8 August 9 August 12 August 16

SE ASIA   GO TRIP

4th of July!!

Vacation Bible School

Mission  Little Rock

SE ASIA GO TRIP

NYC GO Trip

Mission  Little Rock

NYC GO Trip

Youth Evangelism Conference Summer GO Share Service (Tentative) Wednesday Night Kick-Off Promotion Sunday

NYC GO Trip

JUNE 2015 EMPOWER

ITS NEVER TOO LATE TO PARENT Successfully parenting teenagers is a series of resolved crises. I wish someone had told me that before I became the parent of one. Looking back, I should have known. I was a teen once, after all. And that’s how I’d describe my teenage years—one seeming crisis after another. Actually, that’s just about how all parents I know describe their parenting. The crises change, and some are big and some are small, but they are real to all involved. But no matter the crisis, no matter how many there have been, it’s not too late. You see, I know that many parents feel that it is too late. They’ve had one too many crises. Or, they were away too much. Or, they’ve made too many mistakes. But, that’s just not the case. It is never too late for you to start. If they are still in your house, you can make a difference. And actually, even though you have much less influence, you can even start if they are out of the house. I’m not a perfect dad. Donna is not a perfect mom. And, we have imperfect kids. But, we try hard. Our kids are not yet through the teen years, so we are in the midst of it all. Here are a few things that we do to make it through. First, expect the best. We don’t buy into the low expectations of teenagers. As a pastor, I don’t buy into the stereotype of pastor’s kids. I expect my kids to know the Lord and to grow in Him. I don’t think their dropping out is inevitable, and real research shows that. A strong majority of evangelical parents have evangelical kids, despite all the (false) doomand-gloom statistics you may have heard.

Parent is a verb—and it is never too late to start. When we have low expectation, kids live up to them. It’s never too late to have high expectations for your children.

Second, expect the stupid. You see, kids are supposed to do stupid things—that’s why they have parents—to get the stupid out of them! The problem is that you have to get the stupid out of them before they get out from under your parenting, if at all possible. Now, that may seem like a contradiction from the first point, but it is not. If you know that kids lack judgment, you will know why God put you in their lives AND why parenting them can be so challenging. It’s stupid not to expect kids to do stupid things. But, it’s never too late to help them grow in wisdom. Third, keep them in church. The fact is, it’s the late teen years when most kids drop out. According to our LifeWay Research data, there are always people coming and going in church life—but something happens in the late teens. For example, starting at age 17, the attendance of our study declines each year: ‣ 16–17, drop 10% ‣ 17–18, drop 14% ‣ 18–19, drop 13% So, be aware of the challenges that come in high school, but know that it is not too late. The church can and should be part of that. Actually, for those who do stay in church after high school, those connections are key. As a matter of fact, statistically, we found four factors that were the most predictive in determining which teenagers stayed in church: ‣ I wanted the church to help guide my decisions in everyday life (prior to 18). ‣ My parents were still married to each other and both attended church (prior to 18). ‣ The pastor's sermons were relevant to my life (prior to 18). ‣ At least one adult from church made a significant investment in me personally and spiritually (between 15 and 18). Church matters—and it’s not too late to get them connected and involved. Finally, keep them in the boat. That's not my metaphor, but it is one we say regularly around here. I first heard it from a friend—who said he heard it from a friend. A publication of IBC Student Ministr y.  www.ibclrstudents.org © 2014

He explained that parenting is like being in a boat going down the river. It starts slow, floating with the current when the kids are little. It starts to speed up a bit in late elementary school. Then, you hit the teen years and it’s like the rapids—sometimes some level 5 rapids, but at least level 2.

No one ever warned me how hard parenting would be—and I have good kids. Everyone hits the rapids, it just depends on how big the rapids are. In fact, you are supposed to hit the rapids—that’s how kids transition to adults. They have to get out of the boat eventually and that’s part of it. However, and this is key, you don’t want them out of the boat until the rapids are done. The key: just keep them in the boat. If you have to hold them tight, do it. If you have to put your foot on their necks (metaphorically) do it. Just make sure that you keep them in the boat until the rapids of the teen years are over. If they are in the boat, knowing you love them, even when they’ve done the stupid things, and still engaged in church, you will have come a long way toward raising the kind of young adults of which you can be proud. Parenting isn’t for cowards. No one ever warned me how hard parenting would be—and I have good kids. But, I would not change it for the world. I love to spend time with them, to see them grow, to experience the new person they seem to become every few years, and to just parent them. It’s not easy, but it is worth it. Parent is a verb—and it is never too late to start. their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. (2 Corinthians 2:17-19 ESV) BY ED STETZER, PRESIDENT OF LIFEWAY RESEARCH

JULY 2015 EQUIP

FOUR STEPS TO EQUIP YOUR TWEENS AGAINST BULLYING Recently our team conducted a session for 11-14 year olds and spent a section specifically addressing online bullying. Unfortunately this issue has become even more rampant since the wave of seemingly “consequentless anonymizers” like Snapchat have taken center stage. In today’s anonymous world youth are encouraged to dissociate themselves with negative behavior and instead cling to their anonymous label that grants them access to the “waves of culture”. Instead of strength of character we see a growing epidemic of mean

behavior amongst those that should be brothers and sisters. We’d like to share a few practical steps you can share with your tween to help them in bullying situations.

Step In Oftentimes adults are somewhat in the dark about how prevalent this issue is in their tween or teen’s world. Step one to combat this is to step in to their world. The easiest way into the world of tweens is by connecting with your child in familiar non-threatening conversations. These conversations can be started with simple questions like “Who is your favorite person at school?” or “Who is the most popular?” Make an effort as these conversations progress to take note of your child’s reactions and responses. Even jot down the names they mention on your phone. It will mean a lot to your child when you are able to follow up and ask how their peers are by name and not just description.

Parents’ reactions to difficult situations will shape the way our kids relate their world to us. Kids often feel that they exist within two or more “worlds” and do their best to maintain a positive atmosphere in all of them. There is the school world, home world, and various game or online worlds that add to this. As a parent you need to be willing to step out into their other worlds. That may mean sitting in on a gaming session, asking for a tour of their Facebook or WhatsApp, or visiting them for lunch at school (if appropriate). Do whatever you need to in order to better understand where they live day to day.

Step Back Try to always remember the old saying “hurt people hurt people”. It seems simple enough, but it is imperative to remember that the one hurting others is usually trying to cover their

own wounds. By jumping into a situation too quickly you can re-victimize the participants and thus get yourself excommunicated from their world quite quickly. Remember to keep your cool in these situations and make a concentrated effort to examine the situation from an unbiased perspective. Lastly, be sure to involve leadership that knows both parties well in the conflict resolution stage.

Step Up Tweens especially are in a time of transition. Amongst their peers many social roles are established simply by who is willing to step up. Encourage your children in leadership roles that compliment their personality. One of the slogans we use with the teens is “Don’t be afraid – be a friend”. This may be a good memory verse to share with your child if they find themselves involved in a bullying situation where they need to step up:

“Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6 ESV Step Over (not on) Once I saw a video on a nature channel about a mother bear and her cubs. I vividly remember the look in the mother’s eyes and body language when she realized the camera crew was stepping closer to her cubs. She had been grazing behind them comfortably, but seeing the possible danger she moved to step over her cubs and re-situate herself

between them and the camera man. If you notice your child is the target of bullies, don’t be afraid to step between them and the bully to bring balance and protection to the situation.

“Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” This definition by Albert Einstein of insanity could easily be applied in this arena as well. We cannot continue moving in the same direction and stay in the same patterns but expect things to change. Sit down with your spouse and then with your tween and figure out as a team what steps you all need to take regarding your specific situation. Step one should always be to our knees in prayer as we seek first the Kingdom. BY COURTNEY ALBERSON, LEAD SOLUTIONS SPECIALIST, GENERATIONS OF VIRTUE

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