Plugged-In Parent Newsletter (June 2015) by Immanuel Baptist Church

JUNE 2015

PLUGGED IN A MONTHLY PUBLICATIONTO HELP PARENTS BETTER PLUG INTOTHE SPIRITUAL DEVELOPMENT OFTHEIR STUDENT

June Issue THIS MONTH

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GO TRIP COMMISSIONING (6/7) NYC GO TRAINING 201 (6/7) COLLIDE CAMP (6/15-19) FATHER’S DAY (6/21) SE ASIA GO TRAINING 301 (6/22) SE ASIA GO TRIP (6/23-7/2) VBS WORKER REG. DEADLINE (6/30)

COMING SOON

AHHH SUMMER…

ANOTHER SCHOOL YEAR COMES TO A CLOSE AND SUMMERTIME IS HERE! SUMMER PROVIDES UNIQUE OPPORTUNITIES FOR FAMILIES TO DO THINGS TOGETHER THAT THEY MIGHT NOT NORMALLY HAVE TIME FOR. SO, CONSIDER THESE THINGS…

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TAKE A SONIC RUN AS A FAMILY. HAPPY HOURS ARE ALWAYS 2-4PM EVERY DAY!

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TAKE A FAMILY WALK AROUND YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD AT LEAST ONCE A WEEK. CONSIDER PRAYING FOR YOUR NEIGHBORS AS YOU WALK. PAY ATTENTION TO THE NEEDS THAT SURROUND YOU.

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VACATION BIBLE SCHOOL (7/13-17)

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MS SERVE WEEK (7/13-17) NYC GO TRIP (7/18-24) YOUTH EVANGELISM CONFERENCE (8/7-8)

HE A RT CONNE X PLANNING FOR KINGDOM IMPACT

EMPOWER

BEYOND THE BABY GATE (SETTING BOUNDARIES)

ENGAGE

NEW RESEARCH: NOMINALS TO NONES

TOOLBOX JOURNALING

STUDENT MINISTRY STAFF

Matt Hubbard

Melissa Sponer

Ross Spigner

Amanda Beach

Lead Student Pastor

Girls Ministry Associate

Middle School Pastor

Ministry Assistant

FAVORITE SONIC DRINK COMBINATION:    LEMONBERRY SLUSH OR   RT 44 DR PEPPER

FAVORITE SONIC DRINK COMBINATION:    STRAWBERRY LIMEADE

FAVORITE SONIC DRINK COMBINATION:    CHERRY LIMEADE

FAVORITE SONIC DRINK COMBINATION:    VANILLA SWEET TEA

From Our Heart As middle school pastor, it is always exciting for me to see middle school students grasp serving others over self. Perhaps, the middle school years of a person are some of the most selfishly bent years. During this time, it is easy for students to constantly question whether they are being treated fairly, wanting to sit shot-gun in the car, or just seem oblivious to the needs of people around them. Despite these selfish tendencies, which admittedly are not just a middle schooler’s struggle but truthfully in us all, our students recently took the opportunity to serve others at Pinnacle. A couple of weekend’s ago, our students, on their own, thought through how they could serve strangers at Pinnacle. They decided it would be a great idea to load backpacks with water and hike the mountain offering it to whomever they passed by. If hiking Pinnacle alone is not physically challenging enough, some even went through the effort of carrying 20+ waters up to the top. Embarrassing in comparison, me, as a grown man, did not attempt more than 10. In addition, they offered face painting to children below the mountain, free hotdogs, and the students organized a kickball game with random students nearby. It was a personal joy to watch our students joyfully serve that day. And I am certain it will be a joy to watch them serve again later in July. Details are still being worked out, but our middle school students have been asked to serve alongside the City of Refuge Church through the week of July 13-17 in the evenings. This week will be the same week as our church’s VBS. Thus, our students will have two opportunities to serve that day. The first will be in the morning in our church’s VBS and then later in the evening our students will get to serve in similar ways at City of Refuge as they host a VBS for the first time. Having seen our middle schoolers serve in the past, I am confident in their abilities to serve in any capacity. Whether it is approaching a stranger and randomly offering them water on Pinnacle or embracing the opportunity to make a younger child feel welcomed during VBS, are students are capable of selflessly serving. They are able to put others over themselves. I look forward to joyfully watching them each step of the way. A publication of IBC Student Ministr y.  www.ibclrstudents.org © 2014

HEART CONNEX This is an excerpt on Planning for Kingdom Impact in Heart Connex a FREE, weekly devotional for parents of teens by Dr. Richard Ross (Lifeway). 1. HE ART SURPR ISE (TODAY THE PARENT GOES FIR ST); SAY: SOME PEOPLE CELEBR ATE SPECIAL OCCASIONS BY GET TING DRUNK OR HIGH. I’M PROUD OF YOU FOR CHOOSING A DIFFERENT WAY OF LIFE. OBSERVING YOUR CHAR ACTER MAK ES ME FEEL…

2. RE AD SCR IPTURE: IN VITE A FAMILY MEMBER TO PR AY. ASK FAMILY MEMBER S TO READ 1 COR INTHIANS 1:18 AND 1 PETER 2:2 4. DISCUSS THE TRUTH AND UNTRUTHS IN LIGHT OF THESE VER SES  TRUTH  - CHR IST’S DE ATH ON THE CROSS PROVIDES THE ONLY WAY OF SALVATION  UNTRUTHS  - THE WHOLE STORY OF JESUS DYING ON THE CROSS PROVES HE WAS ONLY HUMAN AND NOT DIVINE.  - SOMEONE WHO RELIES ON A CROSS AND ALL ITS ABOUT HAS TO BE A FOOL.  - SOME ANCIENT FOR M OF CAPITAL PUNISHMENT CAN’T BE RELEVANT TO MY LIFE TODAY.

3. E XPLORE SCR IPTURE: RE AD 1 COR INTHIANS 1:18. ENCOUR AGE FAMILY MEMBER S TO DESCR IBE THE TWO

VIEWS OF THE CROSS REVE ALED IN THIS VER SE. SAY ACCOR DING TO COMMENTATOR JOHN GILL, THE TRUTH OF THE CROSS…  - IS A DISPLAY OF THE HIGHEST WISDOM AND HAS MADE THE WOR LD’S WISDOM FOOLISH  - IS WHAT ANGELS APPROVE OF, AND DESIRE TO LOOK INTO  - IS THE ONLY THING ABLE TO MAK E A PEOPLE WISE UNTO SALVATION SAY: AT THE SAME TIME, THIS DOCTR INE IS CONSIDERED COMPLETE FOOLISHNESS BY THE MANY IN THE WOR LD. READ ALOUD 1 PETE 2:2 4. SAY: BECAUSE CHR IST CAR R IED YOUR SINS ON THE CROSS, YOU CAN DIE TO YOUR SINS AND LIVE A LIFE MARK ED BY R IGHTEOUSNESS.

4. THINK IT THROUGH: SAY: SEVER AL YE AR S AGO, MADONNA’S CONCERTS INCLUDED A SEGMENT WHERE SHE HAD HER SELF LOWERED TO THE STAGE, HANGING ON A CROSS. THIS DISRESPECT FOR THE CROSS IS A FOR M OF FOOLISHNESS. ANOTHER WAY I HAVE THE SEEN THE WOR LD TRE AT THE CROSS AS FOOLISHNESS IS…ALLOW FAMILY MEMBER S TO DISCUSS WAYS THE HAVE SEEN THE CROSS TRE ATED AS FOOLISHNESS. EMPHASIZE THAT EVEN BELIEVER S MAY FALL INTO THE TR AP OF TAK ING THE CROSS FOR GR ANTED BECAUSE WE WE AR IT ON A CHAIN OR SEE IT HANGING IN CHURCH E ACH WEEK. CHALLENGE FAMILY MEMBER S TO DO THEIR BEST TO REMEMBER THE SUFFER ING AND PAIN JESUS E XPER IENCED FOR US WHENEVER THEY SEE A CROSS.

5. NAIL IT DOWN: A TEENAGER WILL LEAD THIS STEP. 6. PR AY: A TEENAGER WILL LEAD THIS PR AYER. 7. BLESSING: SAY: I BLESS THIS FAMILY FOR IGNOR ING THE OPINIONS OF THE WOR LD AND EMBR ACING THE CROSS.

PARENT TIP: FAMILY MISSION TR IPS NATIONALLY AND GLOBALLY REQUIRE MONEY. GOD MAY BE CALLING

FAMILIES TO CHOOSE TO LIVE MORE FRUGALLY THAN USUAL TO RELE ASE F UNDS FOR K INGDOM E XPANSION. SOME YEAR S AN INTER NATIONAL MISSION TR IP AS A FAMILY MAY TAK E PR IOR ITY OVER OTHER CON VENIENCES.

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2015 / June 1

GO Trip Comissioning 7

SE Asia Go Training 5pm

Collide Camp

SE Asia Go Training 301 23 at 4pm

NY GO 201

Fathers Day

Joint MS & HS 10 11 meal/worship 5:45 - 7:15

at 4pm

Joint MS & HS meal/worship 5:45 - 7:15

16 Collide Camp 17

SE ASIA GO TRIP

Collide Camp 18 No Wed night worship

Joint MS & HS 24 25 meal/worship 5:45 - 7:15

Collide Camp

26 SE ASIA GO TRIP

27 SE ASIA GO TRIP

SE ASIA GO TRIP

God & Country Service

30 SE ASIA GO TRIP

COMING SOON

VBS WORKER REG. DEADLINE July 1 July 2-7 July 8 July 12 July 12 July 13-17 July 18-24 August 7-8 August 16

SE ASIA GO TRIP

No Student Worship Family Camp VBS Worker Training Option 1 New York GO training 301 @ 4pm VBS Worker Training Option 2 and 3 VBS New York Go Trip Youth Evangelism Conference Promotion Sunday

SE ASIA GO TRIP

JUNE 2015 EMPOWER •

BEYOND THE BABY GATE SETTING BOUNDARIES THAT LEAD TO FULFILLMENT

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Rebel. Yep, that was me. Well, at least when it came to boundaries. I remember hating boundaries when I was a kid. When my parents told me to quit poking my younger sister in the arm, I put my finger, as close to her as possible and proclaimed “I’m not touching you.” When I would come upon a barbwire fence while exploring the woods surrounding our neighborhood in south Arkansas I was always tempted to jump it just to see what it was like on the other side. As a young kid, boundaries were for the birds. Boy was I wrong!

are allowed to post; the amount of time allowed, etc.

Social Activity – This includes time with friends, what friends, alone time, family time, etc.

Physical Activity – This includes how many sports/extra curricular activities your child is allowed to participate in, rest needed, etc.

Solomon, widely regarded for his wisdom, saw the value of boundaries. In Proverbs, he begins to set forth the legacy that he desires for his son. He clearly sets boundaries not just to keep him out of trouble, but also to enable him to live righteously. Solomon knew the illicit draw that sex has on a man (Proverbs 5). He also knew that in order for his son to live righteously in the midst of sexual temptation, boundaries must be set and followed. Solomon’s teaching models for us four essentials to set boundaries for our children.

Boundaries are not glamorous. Boundaries are often labor intensive both in setting them and living by them. Boundaries are often painful. Boundaries rarely hint of fun,. However, boundaries are essential in the spiritual development of every individual—parents and children included. Boundaries cannot save your child only Christ can do that. Boundaries will not replace the transformative power of the Holy Spirit. But boundaries do provide the ultimate fulfillment in that we are striving to be…in that we desire our children to be…His image bearers. Boundaries enable our pursuit of becoming like Jesus.

TRUST My son, be attentive to my wisdom (Proverbs 5:1a ESV) Trust is of utmost importance when parents begin setting boundaries for their children. Without trust, boundaries may be perceived as limitations rather than opportunities for success. If trust does not exist between parent and child, boundaries may lead to resentment and bitterness rather than openness and respect. Trust must be built and maintained both from the parent and the child point of view.

In parenting, boundaries are often associated with baby gates, curfews, and ‘don’t do lists.’ We often set boundaries with the good intention of keeping our children out of trouble. We focus on their dating relationships to protect them from the temptations and pitfalls that they will surely encounter. We focus on their friendships to keep them from getting into mischief. Our lives become consumed with protecting our kids (a good thing), so much, that we neglect God’s purpose for boundaries, which are to enable them to become more like Jesus (the best thing).

Solomon clearly had built a platform of trust with his son. Their relationship provided him ample opportunity to impress upon him truths that not only protect him from temptation, but would also enable him to continue to bear the image of Christ. Solomon’s son was primed and ready to listen to his words not just by default because he was his father, but because of the trust he placed in the father and the trust Solomon had placed in his son.

COMMUNICATION Incline your ear… (Proverbs 5:1b ESV)

When God gave boundaries to the Adam and Eve, the intent was for them to be His image bearers, not to keep them from the good stuﬀ. God knew that in order for the world to truly know Him, His children must accurately portray Him. He knew that the ultimate freedom was the fulfillment of knowing that you were accomplishing what you were created to do. Setting boundaries with your child’s relationships is crucial, but there are many more things that need boundaries as well. Consider the following areas:

• Entertainment – This includes computers, smartphones, gaming consoles, Netflix, Spotify, etc. that can expose your child to sexual content, violence, language, etc.

• Social Media – This includes who your child can follow on Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat; what kinds of pictures they

Solomon did not just expect his son to automatically know what to do when sexual temptation knocked at his door. The scripture says that Solomon spoke to his son. He says “incline your ear.” Words were clearly being spoken. I’m sure the son observed a lot of good things from his father, but observation often does not carry the same weight as communication. Ideally communication will be intricately woven with observation.

Communication is essential in the process of setting boundaries for our children. Parents must clearly communicate that boundaries exist to enable us to become like Jesus. Likewise, parents should consider fully communicating the dangers of not having boundaries. Solomon

JUNE 2015 goes into some graphic detail of the dangers of sexual sin. He does not sugar coat it with his son. Do not be afraid to really discuss the dangers that lurk in the shadows unless boundaries are set.

Clarify what is to be avoided and what is allowed. Explain. Explain. Explain. And then, explain again. Share specific examples to help your child better grasp exactly what God desires for them in certain situations (ex. Alone time with the opposite sex, underage drinking, inappropriate clothing, etc.). Realize that some children will take your examples very specific in that if their situation is not EXACTLY the same as the one you described, then the boundaries do not really apply to them in that situation. There is no way to exhaustively illustrate every possible situation, but you can communicate key things to be avoided in any situation.

With every boundary, there must be a consequence to crossing that boundary. Talk with your child about what these consequences should be. Give them some ownership in defining them. Children who have a voice in determining consequences tend to own up to their mistakes when they happen or try harder to avoid the paths that lead to such consequences.

TRANSPARENCY …to my understanding (Proverbs 5:1c ESV) Maybe you are wired diﬀerently than I am, but I truly begin to understand something when I experience it for myself. It is one thing to hear others talk about how great a movie is. It is something totally diﬀerent to experience for myself. The best lessons I have learned are not those I have heard via a Podcast or Sunday School class. The best lessons have been through those I have experienced firsthand, victories and failures.

Solomon extended a great deal of transparency with his son. He understood the sexual temptation because he himself had experienced it. He was not afraid to be transparent with his son. He realized that transparency with his son was not a brag fest nor would his son respect him less because of his transparency. Transparency leads to a deeper level of intimacy between parent and child that leads to truly understanding the need for boundaries.

What if parents were not just transparent with their similar struggles or experiences, but they were also transparent with putting themselves under the same or similar boundaries to their children.

RECONCILIATION Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself not counting

their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. (2 Corinthians 2:17-19 ESV)

The boundaries you set will most definitely be pushed up against. I do not know why, but with teenagers in particular, boundaries take the role of the bug zapper and your child is the bug. They have been told not to go near the shiny blue light with the cool buzzing sound. A wire mesh (boundary) is placed around the light to protect them if they got too close. Yet, they continue on and then…ZAP!

As parents, we know that even with the greatest intention and crystal clear boundaries, some children will still mess up and step over the line. Too often do parents realize this and respond detrimentally by setting the responsibility bar lower so their child can achieve it rather than challenging their child (regardless of consequence) to reach higher. Once boundaries are set, the biggest battle will be when those boundaries are crossed.

Stay the course and follow through with the spirit of the consequence that has already been set. But constantly keep in the forefront of your mind that the goal of the consequence is not a lesson learned, but reconciliation both to God and man.

In John 8, Jesus was approached by a group of Pharisees dragging a woman who was caught in adultery. You probably know the story. The Pharisees tried to pin Jesus down and see if he would endorse the lawful stoning of the woman or refuse to follow the law. Instead of focusing on the condemnation He pursued reconciliation and restoration for the woman. Some may think He neglected allowing her to experience the consequences of her decisions. The spirit of the consequences of adultery was clearly experienced by the woman—guilt, shame, loneliness, etc. However Christ, as He does with us all, oﬀered reconciliation rather than condemnation.

Like Christ, be ambassadors of reconciliation and restoration when your child steps too far over the boundaries that have been set.

Start now setting your child up for success through establishing boundaries that enable them to become like Jesus. Establish trust with your child. Take the initiative and communicate the need for boundaries. Do not fear transparency with your child. And be quick to reconcile. Consequently, the world will be forever changed because of the courage and discipline you display through accepting your role as the primary discipler of your child. BY MATT HUBBARD

ENGAGE

NOMINALS TO NONES As I've said before, Christianity is not dying; nominal Christianity is.

Today, Pew Research Center released a report drawing a variety of headlines—everything from “Christianity faces sharp decline as Americans are becoming even less aﬃliated with religion” to “Pew: Evangelicals Stay Strong as Christianity Crumbles in America.”

So what are we supposed to think of Christianity in America?

The nominals are becoming the nones, and the convictional are remaining committed.

The big trends are clear, the nominals are becoming the nones, yet the convictional are remaining committed.

In other words, Americans whose Christianity was nominal—in name only—are casting aside the name. They are now aligning publicly with what they’ve actually not believed all along.

The percentage of convictional Christians remains rather steady, but because the nominal Christians now are unaﬃliated the overall percentage of self-identified Christians is decline. This overall decline is what Pew shows —and I expect it to accelerate.

As I have said before, not one serious researcher thinks Christianity in America is dying. What we see from Pew is not the death-knell of Christianity, but another indication that Christianity in America is being refined.

As such, let me share three takeaways from the data.

1. Convictional Christianity is rather steady. Evangelicals are not the only people who call themselves Christians and a good proportion take it seriously, but since this is an evangelical publication, let me share some data from there with one caveat.

You might say that I have a vested interested in evangelicalism's success. However, as an author, the opposite is true. If I announced the death of evangelicalism and Christian faith, I'd sell a lot more books, I assure you.

But, facts are our friends and math is math, so let's take a look.

First, from 2007 to 2014 the number of evangelicals in America rose from 59.8 million to 62.2 million.

Evangelicals now make up a clear majority (55%) of all US Protestants. In 2007, 51 percent of US Protestants identified with evangelical churches.

From 2007 to 2014 the number of evangelicals in America rose from 59.8 million to 62.2 million.

JUNE 2015 Within Christianity, the only group retaining more of their population than the evangelical church is the historically black church.

One of the primary reasons it appears as though “American Christianity” is experiencing a sharp decline is because the nominals that once made up (disproportionately) Mainline Protestantism and Catholicism are now checking “none” on religious aﬃliation surveys.

Nominal Christians make up a higher percentage of Mainline Protestants and Catholics than any other denomination of Christian, and this is why their numbers continue to sharply decline.

For those who have only ever considered themselves “Christian” because they’ve been to church before, or because they aren’t Muslim or Hindu, it is starting to make more sense to check “none” on religious identification surveys.

Yet, church attendance rates (though overreported) are not changing substantially. (I will be writing more on that soon.)

2. There have been significant shifts within American Christianity. One of the most notable shifts in American Christianity is the evangelicalization of church in America. Fifty percent of all Christians now self-identify as “evangelical” or “born again,” up from 44 percent in 2007. In 2007, 44 percent of American Christians, who made up 78 percent of the US population identified as evangelical. In 2014, 50 percent of American Christians, who make up 70 percent of the US population identify as evangelical.

Pew notes, “The evangelical Protestant tradition is the only major Christian group in the survey that has gained more members than it has lost through religious switching.”

growth demographic. Every other one stayed the same as well.

Only 45 percent of those raised in the Mainline Protestant tradition remain in Mainline churches.

Sixty-five percent of those raised evangelical remain evangelical (behind only Hindu, Muslim, Jewish, and Historically Black Protestant). Sixteen percent switched to another version of Christianity, 3 percent switched to another faith, and 15 percent became unaﬃliated.

The only region where evangelicals decreased— the South (37–34%). It remained the same in the Northeast and Midwest, and grew in the West (20–22%).

That's not to say that evangelicalism is doing well—it peaked a couple of decades ago in the

American Christianity specifically. If Mainline Protestantism continues its trajectory it is only a couple of generations from virtual extinction.

For more on this issue, read a recent blog post I wrote on 3 important church trends in the next 10 years.

So What? Christianity isn’t dying and no research says it is; the statistics about Christians in America are simply starting to show a clearer picture of what American Christianity is becoming—less nominal, more defined, and more outside of the mainstream of American culture.

For example, the cultural cost of calling yourself “Christian” is starting to outweigh the cultural benefit, so those who do not identify as a “Christian” according to their convictions are starting to identify as “nones” because it’s more culturally savvy.

I've never been a big journal guy. I've tried time and time again only to get busy, make excuses, and fall away. Recently I've taken a new approach that has revolutionized my thinking (and commitment) on journaling. Rather than recording things from certain days for my sake, I've changed my thinking to focus equally on what I'm passing onto Jackson (my son) and future generations. OT Scriptures refer to leaders setting up stones as altars or places to remember what the Lord did at that geographic point in their journey. These were not setup for nostalgia sake, but for teaching, discipleship, and worship. Not sure what to record in your journal? Consider starting simple by answering (1) what has God revealed to me today about Himself?; (2) what has God revealed to me about myself today?; (3) so what? Passing down a legacy of faith is probably of utmost importance in most every believing parent's goals for life. What if in addition to talking about Christ, modeling what it means to walk with Christ, etc. we also recorded the work the Lord has done and is doing in our lives for them to read in written form? #passiton

It should be noted that evangelicals’ share of the overall US population dropped by 0.9 percent over the last seven years, but the percentage of US adults who self-identify as evangelical actually rose from 34 percent to 35 percent over the same period of time. The drop in population share is based on denominational aﬃliation, whereas the 1 percent increase is based on selfidentification.

(I will be sharing more on practice soon, which will actually be a surprise to many.)

The percentage millennial evangelicals remained the same (21%) from 2007–2014. The only decline was among the Greatest Generation (28– 25%), who, because of their age, are not a

United States—but one of the big shifts inside Christianity is toward Evangelicalism, oddly enough. Yet, in the culture as a whole, and as a percentage of the population, Evangelicalism is losing ground.

3. Mainline Protestantism continues to hemorrhage. Only 45 percent of those raised in the Mainline Protestant tradition remain in Mainline churches. Those whose parents and grandparents were mainline Protestants aren’t carrying on the family tradition like those who align with other Protestant denominations. Since members of these churches are not gaining new members from the culture at-large, nor growing by birth rates, they continue to decline precipitously.

Mainline Protestantism isn’t experiencing growth as a portion of Americans generally nor

Because of this, the statistics show (on the surface) that Christianity in America is experiencing a sharp decline. However, that's the path of those who don't read beyond the surface. If there remains a relatively stable church-engaged, convictional minority, and there is a big movement on self-identification, that means that the middle is going away.

As the Pew Forum's Conrad Hackett explained (before this release of the data):

To some extent, this seems to be a phenomenon in which people with low levels of religious commitment are now more likely to identify as religiously unaﬃliated, whereas in earlier decades such people would Instagr have identified as Christian, Jewish, amother religious or as part of some group.

In short, and as I put it, the "nominals" are becoming the "nones" and convictional Christian practice is a minority, but generally stable, population. If that is the case, and that is what the data is showing, than the decline is primarily (not exclusively) that nominal Christians are becoming honest reporters.

So, Christians, we need not run around with our hands in the air and say, “The sky is falling! The sky is falling!”

Christianity is losing, and will continue to lose, its home field advantage; no one can (or should) deny this. However, the numerical decline of self-identified American Christianity is more of a purifying bloodletting than it is an arrow to the heart of the church.

BY ED STETZER, PRESIDENT OF LIFEWAY RESEARCH

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